Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1819. page
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Welcome to the NEET and Shut-in advice thread!
(Version 123, running since Oct. 31st, 2013)
REMINDER: This isn't >>>/r9k/ or wizardchan
Happy New Year NEETs and shut-ins! It's not too late to make this year the year you do the thing!
Drop out of school due to anxiety? Haven't left the house in a few years? Maybe you have a job, but don't leave the house or talk to people for any reason outside of it? Finding a job sure is hard these days.
The best time to change your life was 5 years ago. But the good news is, the second best time is right now!
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Previous thread:
>>16629826
I just came on this board to see what it was like.
Its not that impressive.
I do however have advice for you beta manlets;
Find your motivation. It doesn't matter what it is.
All the inspirational shit bodybuilders or activists say is hardly relevant to you as a person. For me personally, it was awakening the traditionalist inside me. I identify with my Anglo-Celtic roots, i learned everything about my heritage and culture. I traced my family as far back as i could. Im descended from crusader lords and special forces operatives. I live my life to make them proud, to honor the gods, to make a strong family and continue on the legacy. I want to be a hero that my family and nation will talk about for generations to come.
Yours could be anything. Maybe you want to live long enough to see us colonize mars, maybe you want to find love, maybe you want to be rich. Take it in as a holy cause that you must absolutely accomplish. If you want to stop being a neet beta manlet; start lifting, go to church (women anywhere else are whores), go on /fit/ then stop going on 4chan. Find your confidence.
With my motivation i gained 28kgs of muscle over 2 years, found a wife, joined the military, secured my financial future.
I was a skinny weaboo with a waifu 2 years ago.
>>16655501
Sometimes I think this place is some sort of scribble pad for aspiring writers or something.
Hello anon,
I have a girlfriend (A) that I've been with for a very long time, lived with for a long time, and love. I can't imagine not being with her, we've been together that long.
However, recently I've met someone and become really good friends with her (B). A lot of my time is spent thinking about her or how to talk to her more or get her alone.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't see me in the same way at all, and just as a good friend.
I haven't done anything, but I am pretty overcome with guilt about even thinking about this stuff.
I'm also almost certain saying or doing something to progress things with (B) is a terrible idea, for a lot of reasons, but at the same time I can't get over it. How can I get over it anon?
Let me know if I should provide more details or if any clarification is needed.
Bump since nobody seems to care which, I guess other people do have worse problems.
It is kinda tearing me apart though.
I'll only bump once.
>>16662108
Worry not friend. This just one of the many phases of youth. The real question isn't how do you prevent such thoughts, but rather the true meaning behind these thoughts.
Question why you feel the way you do about B. What causes you to be consumed by her presence? Lack of excitement or lack of variety in a relationship can lead to promiscuous fantasy as a yearning for something fresh. Many couples experience it and you should not be afraid or ashamed of ou instincts warning you of future danger.
Good luck amigo. You haven't committed any thing unworthy yet, but merely experienced a warning
>>16662146
wtf is this?! You didn't lambaste OP for being a shitty person.
Pretty solid advice though. A lot of people will say thoughts are just as bad as actions but you're only human OP. Do what this guy said and do some introspective thought into things.
Trying to move out. Currently saving (have 3k tucked away). Can you live fairly comfortably on 1,400-1,600 a month? Rent is 600-900 with most utilities included for a 1br/studio where I'm at.
Car insurance is $90. I only drive to work and occasionally go out (maybe once a week). I occasionally need another work shirt or a new pair of socks. Food is probably $250-300 a month. Phone is $48. Need internet.
>>16661333
How does one get insurance so cheap? If I got on my own policy it'd be $200 a month for a $700 car with state minimum coverage.
Cheapo lifestyle
Rent: $600
Food: $150
Basic utilities: $50
Car (gas/maintenance): $100
Car insurance: let's say $100 for rounding
Phone+Internet: $100
General needs (clothes/household items): $100
Student loans: ?
Health insurance: ?
Other health needs: ?
Other bills/loans: ?
Entertainment: ?
This is the cheapo, lower-middle class lifestyle. You'll be cutting it close either way, and you're fucked to high heaven if you get sick or injured (or even get a girlfriend you have to buy dinner for).
I HIGHLY recommend getting a roommate unless you want to live barebones paycheck to paycheck
I'm an open lesbian but I think I like a guy. I just really like his face, how he smells, his voice, and spending time with him.
What is wrong with me? I never even considered men to be an option before, like chairs or something.
I don't wanna tell my friends because they'd call me bi or a fake.
>>16661193
All women are bi.
>>16661193
Forget about whatever social standard you're holding yourself to. Follow your heart, even if it means going against what you thought you knew about yourself. Unless following means murder a baby or something
>>16661193
I bet a big long black cock would remind you what you really want. Sexy bitch.
About finding a girl to start a family with?
I keep reading 2 opposite views when it comes to this.
One side says, "Men should not worry about getting married until 35-40 because this is when they will start having more opportunities to find a girl. This is at the height of his sexual market value. Younger women like older men, older as in older than them. Not old."
But then I hear the other extreme, "You're doomed if you don't find a girl by 30. You're window is closing. Only 30+ women with kids will find you interesting now."
Which one is more accurate? I am 32 and starting to worry I will never find someone young enough to start a family with.
Would like to hear from a femanon if possible.
Well, I don't believe there is no hope in either situation. It's not so dire as that.
I believe in the numbers, and the numbers say that the larger the age gap, the larger the chance of relationship failure.
Also, the larger the age gap, the larger the chance of children with defects like autism. And the older the father, the larger this chance is too. It's not only mothers who have to worry about increased age.
However, it is also true that the younger people are when married, the more likely divorce is.
So with all of this, I think it's ideal for people to start relationship as a young adult in their 20s, be together for years, then get married and have children in their late 20s and early 30s.
This is just the "ideal" though. People outside of it still absolutely have the chance of success.
I'd say don't give up and keep looking.
>>16661194
what i was afraid of
I wouldn't start worrying about it until after 35 or so, from a numbers perspective. By that age your likelihood of marrying has fallen to less than 50-50, according to some sociological research. This is probably because 1) by that age, you'll be set in your personal ways and be used to getting along without a spouse and 2) most women who want to have children will have married well before then, generally to a man within a few years of their own age (median age is 28 for women, 30 for men).
You have to look at from an attraction standpoint too. There is an appeal that older men have for 18-24 year old girls, who are in the best biological shape to have healthy children, but unless you take really good care of yourself that will have waned by the time you're in your forties, unless you want to make babies with a girl with daddy issues.
>Me: Bi-curious male 32yo
>Her: (Guessing) Pre-op straight transwoman 22yo
>first time I'm ever considering hooking up with someone who wasn't born female
Wrote to her on dating app and immediately dropped spaghetti, asked whether pre- or post-op, top or bottom, as a joke (just to see whether she 'got it' and could confirm my suspicion) because I didn't realise she had stated in her bio that she was in fact transsexual. Obviously she didn't answer, and with this app I can only write two texts until she does, so I'm silenced until she writes back (which she won't)
>found her on Facebook and wrote an apology, explaining how I first though she was a cis girl, and that I understand what I asked about is none of my business.
>since we're not friends, the message would have gone to 'message requests', and nobody checks that folder ever.
>found her Instagram account
Should I write her on Instagram, and tell her to check her hidden inbox on Facebook? I would like to get to know her, but the most important thing is that she gets my apology. My Instagram is related to my business, so it's a bit risky should anyone find out. Is it better to friend request her on Facebook? Any other suggestions?
What the hell is wrong with you, no, leave her alone.
And why would you joke about a biologically born woman having a dick in your first message?? You're just all around offensive.
>>16659890
I realise that. That's why I wrote her my sincere apologies. I was in a weird mood after talking to a girl for weeks on the same app, who it turns out was just stringing me along for the luls, so didn't really take things seriously in that moment I pressed 'send'. I know that's no excuse, and usually I can take it or leave it, but this girl is incredibly beautiful and courageous, and I'd like to correct my mistakes, if not for any other reason than not wanting to add to the pile of assholes who've made her life and hard choices less enjoyable.
I also know where she works (she stated that in her bio as well, along with her Instagram)
I could send an envelope to her workplace with a note just saying "Sorry for offending you, please check your message requests!"
Is that better than social media?
My gf is very curious about me exes and sometimes asks me for details, even some very intimate ones, about how things were before. I'm her first boyfriend, I've had like two serious relationships before.
Should I really tell her or is it a trap?
>>16661463
Yeah, grills can be weird like that
I'm a dom in the bedroom so tried to introduce my current gf to various things within the bedroom. Initially she was reluctant, but asked what I'd done before with ex's
We were drunk one night and I just told her. Weirdly, it turned her on and now she's into it (and wants to push it further than what I've done before)... So it turned out fine
Conversely, I don't want any info on her past sex life whatsofuckingever
>>16661515
>Conversely, I don't want any info on her past sex life whatsofuckingever
FUCKING YES DUDE. Luckily my gf has no real past sex life, but whenever we come close to talking even about simple flings she once had I don't wanna hear it, I know from experience it'll do me no good and never leave my head.
So when this comes around to me I just tell her "honestly, you really don't even wanna hear it," but she keeps pressing on and on.
>>16661523
Yeah, exactly
To be honest, the best thing you could probably say is "I've had sex, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, I've always thought XYZ would be fun... What do you think?"
So my gf did the dumbest thing ever and idk what to do with her
>Gf is a model
>Frequently meets photographers on Instagram
>Decides she's going to do her first lingerie shoot
>Says she's having her female friend come to put me at ease
>On her way there she finds out that it's totally not professional and it's just at the guy's apartment with only him
>She's sketched out but goes anyway
>For the next 9 hours I get texts saying that they're still shooting (Shoots usually take like 3 hours)
>I know something's up
>10 hours after she got there I get a call from her crying saying that she's extremely drunk and needs me to come get her
>Find out there was no friend, she said that so I wouldn't worry
>She's been hanging with this photographer all day drinking
>She's hardly even coherent. I tell her I'm coming to get her but I'm dumping her immediately if I find out she did anything with him
>When I get there I meet the photographer, who is a fat slob. So I rule out her cheating
>It takes an hour to bring her to, during which I just roast the photographer who was clearly hoping she'd get drunk enough to sleep with him
>I bring her home and she spends the next 24 hours crying about how much she screwed up
I don't know what she was thinking. I know she didn't eat for 24 hours to prepare for the shoot, so she got way drunker than expected and she'll blame the lying on being drunk. It seems like she learned her lesson and is really greatful that I didn't dump her.
My biggest problem is that her actions were fucking retarded. She knows I'd be extremely pissed if she was hanging out with a lingerie photographer, no matter how unattractive, but she did it anyway. She got drunker than I have ever seen her in 2 years with a guy that she met that day. This could have gone horrifically wrong if she didn't call me before she passed out. God knows what could have happened.
I don't know what to do with her. I feel like I can't trust her or her decisions
If she cried for so long she probably fucked him, sorry dude.
>does lingerie modeling
>has to have unhealthy eating habits for her job
>lied to you
>goes into a strange man's house
>goes into a strange man's house to model in her underwear
>accepts drinks from him
>gets blackout drunk
>gets blackout drunk around a strange man
I can't even list everything wrong with this. She sounds like she would make a very bad partner. I wouldn't be with someone like that.
>>16661263
Don't think she didn't fuck the guy just because he's fat/unattractive. She got drunk with him, probably at his direction, she got at least partially nude, at his direction. Women like feeling that a guy is in charge.
So chances are pretty good that she fucked him too. Why do you think she was crying?
Regardless, she deliberately lied to you and you have confirmation that she has shitty judgment. No point in getting mad about this, most women are like this. If it's no something you're willing to let go, move on.
I would probably downgrade her from serious girlfriend to girl-I-have-sex-with and don't be upset about whatever stupid shit she does. If you're not into casual sex or you can't keep your feelings ("love", jealousy, whatever else) out of it, you're better off moving on.
I want to live in New York or Cali and Live well but i have no marketable skills and no money
am i shit out of luck?
no, haven't you seen coyote ugly?
Stop idealizing shit you see on movies and TV.
>>16661013
i'm not i've been to both places for cons, i just want to live there
today I found myself alone with my crush and it
turned out she did actually consider a relation ship but decided against it because (here it comes) I once said I do not want kids.
which was more about not making promises I can not keep especially when it comes to family.
we are both studying in the design department where job security is a brittle thing.
I did not feel like backpedaling on this issue or trying to talk her into any desperate compromise so the topic was not pursued further.
I think I believe her and I am not all that mad about the rejection.
But I could not forgive myself for letting things slip away like that.
what can I do?
I'm totally lost at what you want. Do you want to date this girl, but don't feel like comprising about the kid thing? If she wants kids and you don't a relationship isn't going to work long term.
>>16660437
Why not explain what you meant?
It's funny because when I was with my girlfriend (still in the beginning stages of the relationship) she told me that she could never marry a guy that couldn't give her kids. I was sterile due to medical reasons and when she said that it crushed me.
A week later I told her we were breaking up for that reason and she said "we'll figure something out" and stayed together.
I'll date you OP! I do not want kids either and I'm an AD. Match in heaven yeah?
So basically she doesn't want the d.
Op pic related.
"Yes, I agree, when I think of you I also think of animals who should be kept on a leash"
>>16661627
Na, you can pull that back, OP
Are you even trying?
Hmmm. I love her
Lawyer here ama. Doesn't have to be about law or law school...my profession is to give advice
>>16661566
do you regret your career path
>>16661566
I will be home a week alone and I'm scared, what do?
>>16661576
No, it fits my personality pretty well. I'm an introvert with passable public speaking skills. The long hours don't bother me and my lack of empathy (a personal weakness) lets me get passed some of the "bad" things people might see practicing law.
I do get lonely sometimes though, law sometimes makes it hard to develop relationships with others who aren't lawyers because the hours.
I went through a really terrible break up and I feel myself really slipping. I've even started to believe in astrology bullshit. Long story short, I'm a Pieces so supposedly extremely sensitive and melodramatic and this break up is absolutely killing me. I just can't forget the good times despite realizing we would have never worked out and I keep obsessing over the emptiness it left me with. Would throwing myself into meeting someone new help? Casual sex maybe? Or would that make someone oversensitive like me feel even worse?
Post natal chart
>>16661061
I'm not that into it so I don't know of this is right but I got this off the internet.
>>16661100
Ok correction post natal chart from
http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?rs=3&btyp=w2gw
And you know your exact time of birth right?
Cafe astrology is broken and always gives that chart see? I just entered random info
Should I kill myself?
I lost my gf of almost 5 years, I don't have any hope. I don't see the point in living. Love isn't even real. Any suggestions? Pic v related
You gained the opportunity to get new girlfriends. And I meant to use the plural.
Get on antidepressants, get used to life without her.
You're not the first, certainly not the last.
>>16660373
True but I don't want another one.
so my friend that i lost touch with for 6 months hung out with me last night and he snorted some shit out of a pill and then passed out.
so i drove to his house (Very close) and told his mother about it
basically it all ended up with him getting caught by his parents about having a drug habit
when i got home just know i realized he didn't bring his drugs with him to leave, and now i have a fucking heroin pill in my room
should i just give this to his dad as proof in the morning? it's 2am and im tired but i feel like i should set an 8am alarm just to let him know, this shit is pretty incriminating and scary
what do
fuck you for snitching on your "friend" nigger
>>16659208
Fuck you for calling him a snitch, you cunt. He did the right thing.
Shitty thing to do to snitch on the dude.
why don't you snort the rest of it to find out if it really was heroin?
