Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1699. page
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How the fuck do i not procrastinate
This ridiculous need (and it is, like, a physiological need at this point) to procrastinate has plagued me all throughout my fucking academic career. Somehow i managed to survive to get my bachelors but now that i'm in fucking GRADUATE SCHOOL i still haven't managed to wrestle this goddamn compulsion down
If i've never been able to unfuck myself with regards to this will i ever?
>>16777961
It's because you're probably doing some sort of soft science, it's easier that way.
You always hear about people studying engineering who study every day. Well it's easier for them, not in content, but to actually practice method and routine every day. Open your textbook to page 42 and do the exercises to page 60.
With stuff like English and arts degrees all you can do it just read articles and then write essays, it's harder to be methodical. I find that to really just DO it was hard because I was always like "well what is it exactly that I'm doing and where should I start?"
Treat it like the first draft of any story, you don't know what the fuck you're doing so you just start writing shit. Well address what your major essay is about and start it, finish it even, studying and reading the appropriate sources as you go. Then, re-write it, start again. Add more sources, learn more about the subject. etc. etc. This seems annoying at first because you're probably used to writing whole essays or whole halves of essays in massive, rushed 5 hour stints. Well if you just work on it every day, little bits, it won't matter, finish the first essay won't even be a milestone because you just get up tomorrow and write another 100 - 300 words like you've been doing every day anyway.
>>16777980
I see what you're saying
So i should just start by spraying bits and pieces of ideas pertaining to the topic almost at random onto Word, then later on rewrite to connect the pieces, and then rewrite again to add more ideas, and then rewrite *again* to weave those ideas into coherent paragraphs etc. etc.
I hated even the concept of that before; and yes i was used to just piling through an entire essay in gigantic chunks when in undergrad
You might be quite right about your first point, too
When i was studying organic chemistry i think i had an easier time of it when holding down the urge to procrastinate because the textbook provided had just a colossal amount of practice problems to peck at in every chapter. All i had to do is sit down, open the book, and just run one problem at a time.
>>16777961
Meditation and/or nootropics like piracetam (amphetamines like ritalin work better but it's nasty and addictive so I would def not go that route plus you build tolerance on those).
My girlfriend of about 2 years has effectively been putting her career in front of the relationship from a couple of months ago.
It has degraded to the point where any time spent with her is almost work related. I've brought it up with her but I get it thrown back at me as she has a time limit (she's approaching 30, she's gotta get into her job before that apparently)
This means millions of fights and I'm salty as.
My brain says enough is enough but my heart says stay on and give her a chance it will blow over.
What do?
Wait till she's 30 then see if things change.
Depends on how close to 30 she is. If she has no time for you within a few months time, get out. Based on what you said, it sounds like she's not super into the relationship. Talk with her more. Find out what her plan is and where you fit into that. If it doesn't sound like something you want to spend your life doing, tell her that. Gotta communicate.
>>16777956
She was once, but many job rejections and shit like that has just changed her priorities.
Guess give it a few months as you said, might just be temporary
You get to tell them one thing, to leave them with for the rest of their lives
I loved you.
I'm sorry.
>>16777862
Pull the trigger. It'll hurt less.
Okay so I've been seeing a guy for the last few weeks and things are going really really well. We're seeing each other today and I feel like we'll definitely have sex for the first time. There are two issues that I could really use calming with.
Firstly, I have a son. Which isn't an issue for him at all, that's not the problem, it's my body that freaks me out. I gained a lot of weight through the whole thing and although I've lost most of it now, I'm still not exactly where I'd like to be aesthetically. I've also got some pretty obvious stretch marks and it's just so obviously an ex baby bump. I'm terrified he's going to be turned off by it. He's the first person to see my post-baby body naked since my baby's dad. What do you guys think?
Secondly, he's a virgin. Which of course isn't a problem either but I've never popped anyone's cherry before. He's pretty nervous. Hell we both are. Anything I can do to make things really great for him?
Cheers guys.
>>16777817
Obviously you gotta go full ara ara~ milf mode on him. Be the sexy experienced lover teaching her cute little shota boy all the ins and outs of sex for the first time.
Fetishize the cherry popping.
>>16777833
That's truly terrifying lol
But thank you
>>16777845
It's really easy. Just read a shit ton of /ss/ doujin and repeat the most common lines that you see the milfs saying. It's instant boner fuel for every man.
I'm in a really good relationship at the moment, my bf and I have been together for a year and we've been living together for quite some time, but I feel like he is still hiding quite a lot of things from both his past and present, and I feel like some of these might be a make or break factor in the relationship.
If I start questioning him about my feelings he'll just end up getting upset at me and call me out for not trusting him. I just don't know what to make of the situation and I wish he would just talk to me.
Can anyone offer some general advice about this? Besides telling me to stop being so insecure and nosy...
What do you think he's hiding?
>>16777739
What about his past could be a relationship dealbreaker?
>>16777741
>>16777751
To be honest I'm not quite sure how over he is about his ex. Which really gets me down because I feel like she still has an effect on him even now.
i have a hard time accepting that i'm "good enough" for people. especially for my boyfriends.
i try my best not to show it, but i get pretty depressed thinking about how they'll move up to a "better" partner as soon as they come. i get that's human nature, but i wish i could be someone's personal 10/10.
i do try to be the best girlfriend i can be, but sometimes i get a little scared and i end up feeling like i'm setting myself up for humiliation or embarrassment.
does anyone know this feel?
I have been like this for a long time, what helped me is learning to read people. Be more perceptive and less judgemental of yourself and others, and if you see something doesn't fit, work on it so it does.
People don't want perfect though who do are usually don't worth it because they need some growing up to be able to respect you as a person and not just as a tool to fulfill their fantasies. Have some self esteem be confident and do your best, some people will value for it, others won't, even others will be hateful. Stick to those who value you. Don't take others judgement as holy truth, they make mistakes just like you.
>>16777639
Hey I totally know that feel - I'm in the same boat at the moment where everything is great in the relationship, and I can see my bf and I being a long-term thing. But even then I still have these thought that he'll just eventually get bored of me or find someone prettier or smarter or something like that.
I don't really have a solid piece of advice because I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it. But I think that you should try not fretting about it too much, and just try and savour what you've got. It's not good to dwell on things that may or may not happen.
>>16777639
Well you could date someone who's less attractive than you with a good personality. I'm sure they would appreciate you more.
>be femanon
>feel lonely
>realize I'm alone because guys are pussies
Why are guys so weak?>>16777272
I can't believe this
is this bait? You either drive off good guys because you're too picky or you're just a bitter hambeast
>>16777503
1/10. Apply yourself better if you want to have a successful troll thread.
>>16777503
> its the guys job to contact the girl
> 2016
Would you ever tell your friend that they're ugly, a failure, and will never achieve anything in their life? I wouldn't, so it doesn't seem fair to tell myself the same things, but I just can't shake this feeling that I'm a useless piece of crap. Every night I go to sleep hoping I don't wake up. I go through life not giving a shit about myself and wishing that at any moment, something will happen to me so I can be dead. I have a part-time job, I workout at the gym three times a week, and I'm going to school, but at this point I feel like I'm going just for the sake of having a degree. I'm doing all these things but it never feels like it's enough. People are regularly friendly and attentive to me, but the person I actually like is distant and hard to talk to. It just feels like I have nothing to live for and I don't know what else to do with my life to make me happy again.
>>16777501
Go to therapy.
Don't not go to therapy. These feelings won't go away by asking an advice board.
>>16777541
I don't make enough money to see a therapist.
>>16777501
Don't let others give yourself a value. you have to appreciate yourself before others will give a damn about you.
Hi /adv/,
My erection is either instantly lost with condoms or I simply can't maintain it for more than 30-60 seconds. I've tried many different kinds, sizes, brands etc
When I'm in a relationship its alright because of the pill etc (I have no problem staying erect without a condom) and sex is great.
However I've passed up several opportunities with new girls and just feel totally helpless to start anything new because of it. I've disappointed 3 girls before and I know its just gonna happen again. I feel really ashamed when it happens.
Seriously, fucking get over it. It's all something we gotta do. If you're focused on her you shouldn't have any problems, get her to put it on you.
>>16777502
>have a problem
>just get over it
wise advice anon. Wise advice.
Sex is largely mental, OP, have you tried meditation, it can help you relax and take your mind off of sex. Performance anxiety is more common than you think when dealing with an issue like this.
Kegel exercises
I am the drunkest I've ever been right now...
Is this what normal people are like all the time? Being drunk doesn't affect my judgement or my conscience, but I notice it just makes me SUPER tolerant and happy. I work with a ton of fucking retards who are incredibly imperceptive and don't remember jack shit, day in and day out. I've had about 10 shots of Bacardi 151, and I think I'm beginning to understand what their life is like, every day, and how they put up with the standard slog of being an adult.
When I'm sober, I'm super-perceptive, and stupidity annoys the fuck out of me, as does mindless busywork. I have very little patience. But now that I'm fucking pickled, I feel the most "normal" that I've ever felt. I don't mean to imply that I'm a better person than most, but... I can't help but feel that's the case. I just understand and perceive shit better than your average normie. I go through life every day, wondering if I'm supposed to be okay with this until I die. But then, every so often, I decide to get sloshed, and those are the only times that the idea of a normal life seems okay to me. What the fuck? Tell me I'm not the only person like this, please.
Apologies for the picture. I'm a /toy/fag, and this is my drink of choice.
You should get drunker. Keep drinking until you pass out on the floor and pee your pants.
You kind of remind me of myself, if I were more full of myself.
Digression aside, I don't drink much either and I have a similar opinion of alcohol. Personally, I'm an enormous introvert and I try and get tipsy before I go to casual social events or before I go hang out with people. It helps keep my internal thoughts silent and allows me to focus on the people around me.
Keep drinking until you literally can't stay awake anymore, and you just pass out whereever you are at the moment, even if it's on the front lawn, or in the street.
Guys I'm scared, my friend is threatening to beat me up. He heard I'm trying to date his little sister and now he's lost his shit. Should I get the college involed? I didn't think he'd be this angry... I am legitimately scared for my safety he was furious.
Sure.
How old is his little sister? If she's like under 16 and you're college-age, I can see why he wants to kick your ass. But knowing 4chan, I'm sure she's like 12, am I right?
Are the threats recorded by text/email or were they verbal? That could help. Tell the school, campus police or whatever, bring logs of threats
So I applied for an apprenticeship, one that I'm fairly certain my CV will be impressive for and one that I really want.
I contacted them earlier and was told that the Director of Engineering was away, that he was handling the applications and that he will be back tomorrow. So I have his name and when to call.
I really want this call to complement my application, so when I ring I want to be able to do more than just ask how my application is going. What are some things that I can say that will really help me sound good to him?
Nothing. Save that for the interview.
But I really wanna make sure I get the interview...
>>16777316
Tell them how big your dick is, and ask them if they'd like a picture.
>tfw can't text the girl I've had a crush on since freshman year in a date because I'm scared of ruining what we have despite both of us going away alter graduation (I'm a senior)
>not even sure if she has a boyfriend
I'm dead right guys?
>>16777272
No you're just passive.
>>16777283
Why does romance have to be so scary
Girls are scary when it comes to that stuff
>>16777272
Yes and no. You don't get a lot of chances of dating someone you consider a close friend. I say fuck it and go for it best case scenario she shares you're sentiment. If she doesn't and she's really a friend she won't cut you off because you asked her out and if she does then she isn't really a good friend and isn't worth spending time with. I expressed my feelings for a girl I've been tight with since early high school, shit she even reciprocated them and it was awesome. Then things went downhill out of no where and we both decided we shouldn't date. Sure things were weird for a bit, but in the end we're still good friends.
I heard this song in a casino, but i can't find it.
It sounded like an old song from 70/80/90
It's a half-fast paced song, not like neil young
It had the word tonight in it, couple of times after each other.
''Í wanna.. tonight toonight toonight i wanna .... toonight toonight''
On the ''....'' maybe it's: dancing, drinking, driving. Not sure if i'm close witht hat one.
Between the couplets, there was a weird kind of instrument to be heard playing. Maybe its a piano, with weird tones
Male singer
Help is appreciated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdxWqVyMPrM
>>16777259
Less rock like
>>16777268
just search through youtube with "tonight tonight" or whatever you thought the lyrics were smartass
I met a cute girl the other day at a college club thing we both belong to and we talked for about 20 minutes. Did we hit it off? Not like in a super romantic way, but we made each other laugh and we enjoyed each other's company.
That was a week ago. She just showed up in my suggested friends on Facebook. Should I add her? Message her? I'm interested in asking her out for dinner or something, but I don't know if I should add her or just wait until I see her again.
>>16777136
Just add her and ask her out.
>>16777138
You mean ask her out on Facebook? That's kind of lame.
>>16777141
Not as lame as not asking her out and dying alone!
