Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1085. page
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My parents are wealthy. My boyfriend's parents aren't. I started to give him things, and he was very reluctant to accept them when we first started dating. He even tried to break up with me over some stuff because he was certain there was an agenda on my part, some sort of scheme I was concocting, because he grew up poor and people don't give things freely unless it's food or supplies or whatever. I just like to give him things, try to help him relax from working all day, and I try to encourage him to go to school but he refuses to take out student loans.
Two and a half weeks ago my parents agreed to pay for him and I to go to Europe for a toured vacation. He flat-out refused because it would mean losing a whole paycheck, but I finally coaxed him into going with pokes and prods. This is where my problem is.
See, when we first landed in Germany, he started speaking German. Fluently. I'm not talking him and I being two Americans stumbling over a thesaurus, I mean people thought he was a native. When I asked him how he knew German, he said he studies in his spare time. And as we kept touring Europe, more skills he had I didn't know about kept appearing. He's also fluent in French and Italian, he help the captain of a ship by tying knots or whatever and working in lieu of one of the workers not showing up for work, he debated philosophy with a bunch of French friars while we went through France (they liked him so much we got a free tour of their church grounds), he even milked a freaking cow without batting an eye AND THEN DRANK IT.
I should be impressed, but instead I'm very startled... How is it that he doesn't have a university education, and yet he's somehow smarter than me? At first I wouldn't let him help me with homework, but I let him take a glance at it last night and he started explaining things to me that I couldn't get despite being in class. What is going on? Why does he intimidate me?
Pic related is his favorite book, if it helps explain his behavior.
Pretty good book, anyway what was your question? How do you get over the fact that he's smart? Well idk, but the fact that you think that's a bad thing says quite a bit about you.
>>16974888
I'm not sure what your problem is, OP. You have a boyfriend who you seem to get along with greatly, and he's also smart and educated.
Enjoy it.
Maybe you feel like you should be "better" because you had a more formal education and/or are wealthy? I'd take it for what it is, a nice surprise, and be excited.
Are you more intimidated by his intelligence than he is by your wealth? Why is that?
Why are you even with him? What do you see in him? Do you, on some level, think you're better than him? And now find that being challenged because you've been brought up to think money buys intelligence and education, while he has it in abundance through effort and ability?
None of your post makes any sense unless there are many insecurities underlying your person.
There's nothing inherently wrong with me, and I am grateful for what I have been given in life.
There is one issue though, I am pretty lonely.
I want to sound as modest as possible, but in the last two years I have had a good amount of female advances (I've been told I'm decently attractive/funny).
But when an opportunity comes my way, I have lose all motivation or interest to pursue.
I either don't find a specific girl to be interesting/I don't see myself forming a connection with her, or the girl is just throwing herself at any decently looking guy at a party in hopes to hook up (which is also something I am not interested in).
I've been told to not look for anything in specific (don't pursue a relationship so hard), but that's literally all I want right now, as a 20 year old college student. I just want a girl to talk to at this point.
My friends all have SO at the moment, and every other night I am literally lying in bed dreaming of cuddling up next to a girl.
>>16974885
I can't wait for you to be disappointed as fuck when you realize women aren't all they're cracked up to be.
>>16974885
you have the opportunities, but oyu dont seem to pursue them.
girls are often in your position. they got guys lining up but dont give em a chance and/or assume they only want one thing.
my advice? ask for a first date. give a girl at least one real first date to prove shes not right for you.
given your situation thats literally all you can do cuz ur basically saying
>i want a relationship but i dont want literally anyone who ever approaches me
>>16974890
>I can't wait for you to be disappointed as fuck when you realize women aren't all they're cracked up to be.
This is my issue though. I feel uninterested in a lot of female advances because I know how horrible the majority of them are. Same thing goes for men, the human race in general is shit. It's actually making me go full on waifu claiming mode.
>inb4 edgy
How do I make the most out of my 20s?
>turning 20 in a few months
>unemployed
>still living at home
>terrified I'll still be 25, living at home, and wasting my life
>>16974813
Get a job
Move out of home
>>16974822
This. Doing it right now. No friends. It's hard but it's better than doing nothing
>>16974813
people who have this fear have it because they have no plan. if you dont have a plan you wont move out and 'getting employed' isnt a plan unless you knwo exactly waht kind of job you are going for and how it will help you in the future.
people think 'oh ill get a job and then go back to school and do this or htat and the third'
but they enver set a REAL schedule. if you want to go to school why arent you? money? how much money do you need? can you get a part time job to fund that, or a full time job to save up for that?
decide what you want to do, figure out how you have to do it, and then do step one today.
Will try to make this short to the point.
I'm 22 male,seeing a 35 year old woman.
Dated for awhile and are together, we get along perfectly. Like soul mates.She wants kids and marriage soon. I love her alot. What is your opinion of this,long term? I'm thinking of long term would this work or is this weird,or this is perfectly fine.
Thanks for the replies.
She just want to satisfy her biological clock urges.
After that it will be hell.
But you're probably just a silly virgin who can't see that.
ok.
why would it be hell?
OMG GURLS I FOUND a nice eyelash trick to get them curly without using a eyelash curler or mascara or anything:
First, you need a straight edge, or something like a pin.
Close your eyes and be really careful.
Put the pin onto the eyelashes and keep it together with the eyelashes.
Push back down as they will curl upwards.
Its the same principle as curling a gift ribbon.
This curled look will last for like a week or so, and if you continue doing it, its gonna last a lot more :)
Post your results on here :)
As a guy all I can say is I appreciate the amount of work women put into their looks even though they ain't doing it for me.
If I was required to put this amount of effort into how I looked I'm pretty sure I'd just be socially ostracized instead.
>>16974717
Though as it is I look like this and I can't say "socially ostracized instead" is much of an improvement.
I have curiosity of know why the people prefer this web page:
>Have alot of bullshit
>Is so faggy
>9gag watermark to all the imagens
>Repost from Reddit or 4chan
9GAG talk a lot about Bullshit Media
Because some people are twelve that's why.
The watermark is very annoying because other page have the same image
>But 9FAG wants to have the fucking logo
raped my dog when i was 12, been fucking me up ever since. what do?
Past is past, can't change it and worrying about it is pointless.
Accept that it happened and don't do it again.
>>16974308
Buy it dinner
>>16974308
>been fucking me up
seriously though how is it fucking you up? I could see it bugging me if I raped a person and I knew they were still dealing with emotional or physical trauma as a result of that. But is the dog even still alive?
I checked my weight and BMI on a scale in a gym, where I had to take off my shoes and phone and hold these handlebars. It told me that I was just barely at a healthy weight. The guy operating it told me to see him (he usually guides people on workouts) to gain muscle and fat. However, when I see myself in the mirror, I see pic related. I still have huge mantits, a shrinking potbelly, and noticeable love handles. Why is this machine and this coach telling me I need to gain weight when I should be doing the opposite?
By the way, my plan is to cut all fat and then after finals and all this bullshit is over I'm going to the gym to get buff. Also I can usually hide most of it pretty well through my clothes (although you can still see the tits and a bit of the lovebars), but it's still killing my self esteem.
>>16974174
post a pic of your torso. dont be embarrassed you are anonymous. also they are talking about you gaining muscle mass which is good.
You'll gain weight during intense muscle building because muscle is denser than fat. However that muscle will be deep to your skin; the tits, belly and handles will melt off super fast. Right now that's pretty much all you have apart from your bones to give your body structure and it's why you look like a dumpy mess.
If you're serious about hitting the gym hard then everything will sort itself out, at least at first. Maybe after several months you can nitpick about diet. Right now you just need to lift like a motherfucker.
>>16974179
That is my torso.
>>16974196
That's what I've heard too. I've been running everyday already, but I won't hit the gym til May. Any tips til then?
So today I had sex with my girlfriend and everything felt off. She has been quite relaxed these past few days. More relaxed than she has been for years.
Normally we have sex maybe once a week or so and in 4 years of our relationship she never initiated it this hard. Sometimes she would show interest, but she was always very shy about it.
Today she just went full out. Being loud, talking dirty, trying some new positions. Even foreplay barely happened. And she never wanted to have more sex after we finish. She would always want to cuddle, but this time she wanted to keep going. For some reason it made me feel very off. As if shocked, confused. Like I was having sex with a different person. Why do I feel like this? I always dreamt and wished for her to be like she was today and yet I ended up being upset. Why the fuck would it make me feel bad that I got what I wanted/
>>16974166
is pic related a man
The guy she was cucking you with probably dumped her so she had no choice but to release her frustrations in you.
I've had this exact same thing happen to a friend.
She'll probably leave you in a week or two if he doesn't come back to pursue them again.
>>16974166
My ex started doing new shit in the bedroom, that's how I knew she was fucking someone else.
If she's changed overnight that means somethings changed for her.
Has she been acting differently out of the bedroom?
Literally today I was told by my mother that my father isn't my biological father. I've been told that he was a student who donated sperm years ago. She is unwilling to help me locate him and so is my non-biological father. I live in the UK so what are my choices? I was born 1997 if that helps.
>>16974140
why on earth would you even bother
Call a solicitor numbnuts.
>>16974147
I primarily want to find this guy so I can know if he has any medical problems that run in his family that I need to be aware off + to know if I have any half siblings
My crush's birthday is coming up, what should I gift her, /adv/? She doesn't even know of my existence in this world yet, so I don't want to spend too much, but what's a decent present for like <$20? She is into reading and writing if that's of any help.
A nice moleskin notebook.
You're setting yourself up to be called a creep.
>>16974075
Get that bitch a 1911
Hey /adv/ I turn to you guys, cause I don't have enough friends and I really could use the help. I need people to fill in my survey and I barely got 10 out of the 60 needed. Would you mind filling it in, it's only 8 questions. https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/R2WLS9B Thank you guys in advance!
>>16974058
No problem.
>>16974088
Thank you anon! Thank you so much!
Done
ITT we post decent first date advice
I found this slut that's probably down to be fuckbuddies. However instead of going for the netflix and chill route, I asked her on a date like the white knight sperg I am.
>tfw no date ideas
Go kart
Bouldering
White water rafting. The water pressure gets girls so horny they can't resist you
normally people would say don't do movies but since you're aiming for a fuckbuddy, that might be an option
So I am lost, I need help, and I don't know who to talk with about this shit irl. This is gonna be a college rant so get ready. I go to a community college and I hate it so much. I am on financial aid which means the state pays for me to go if I keep up my average but right now I am going to probably fail this semester. I came to a realization today and its basically I am going to school I have to force myself to change my life up to work and study and whatever and its all for stuff I have ZERO interest in. I don't know what I want to do and they are forcing us to do general education (math, english, history) and I am just utterly bored to the point of I skip days just to sleep in. I am wasting my life (21 years old) in college working on stupid shit I have no interest in and can probably never help me get anywhere in life. Like where the fuck can I go if I know what caused the great depression, or how many people died in WW2 its just feeling like a huge waste and I am just going with the motions. I am lost in life, I don't know what I want to do, and I don't know how to find out where I want to go.
>>16973892
And you seek advice on?
The reason you're taught those things is that intellectual people pull general and creative life lessons from them. That might not be the kind of person you are and that's okay.
Finding direction in life starts with playing to your strengths. There are some things which you're going to have to learn how to do like simple arithmetic for your finances, basic communication for when you deal with other people, facts about nature and science so that you don't kill yourself accidentally, etc. But beyond that there are hopefully some things which you're particularly good at doing. Maybe you're very detail oriented. Perhaps you're organized and good at working with technology. Whatever it is, you search high and low for people who are willing to pay for those skills.
The thing you need to care about at this rate is how to put food on the table, because it looks like you're not going to have to bother with school for much longer.
>>16973894
Is there a way I can find a career path that I will like, is there some sort of test or whatever. my issue is I have a feeling I wont like something if I go into it and I waste money on a class so I am hesistant on going into new things. I am lost in what I would want to do because my interests can't go anywhere for a career
All I do right now is
>Go to college
>Work at a store
>Go to the gym
>Watch anime, read manga's
>Play video games
Saw this posted yesterday. I realized I do all of these. How do I stop?
>>16973880
I'm pretty much guilty of all the same. It's really tough to stop since we get so used to doing it.
There was a book I was reading on this, if you want it, I'll fetch the name. Dirt cheap on Amazon. Basically I believe it breaks down the steps like this.
1. Recognize you're distorting reality. Specifically, identify the distortion you're using.
2. Allow yourself to recognize that this is wrong, and really look at the situation.
3. Understand that even if the situation is bad, it's temporary, and you have to move on from it.
>>16973920
It is tough, especially the third on this list: dwelling on the negatives. I keep thinking about really bad projects I've worked on and what I should have done better. I'm a million times better now, but it still haunts me. How do I do that last part "move on from it"
>>16974284
Don't allow yourself to dwell. Open and close that chapter.
You did bad projects? Well they're done. What did you learn from them? And how will that help you in the future? Once that's answered, there's no use in revisiting what's past you unless it's truly, truly necessary.
![708939_orig[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/CjwBJ56.gif "708939 orig[1]")
