Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 775. page
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Just arrived in Paris to begin 3 months on backpacking around Europe and am already feeling lonely. I'm usually a very confident and outgoing person but I can't stop the tears. Granted it's only my first night here but does anyone have any words of encouragement to keep me going?
Stop being a pussy
Go to James Hetfeeld's Pub in Grand Boulevard station in Paris. Have a drink or two and go!
>one single day without friends/family
>so lonely I'm crying
How are you still alive?
Hello guys,
Do some of you had a possessive mother and how did it affect your personnal life an relationships with women?
My boyfriend had this problem and I'm just trying to understand the whole psychological background from an external point of view. Plus it seems that his mother treated him as a girl as a child, so it doesn't help.
Please share your experiences, it's very hard for him to talk about that and I need some "tips" to understand the situation.
Thank you.
It has a lot to do with narcissism. The mother overbears but often expects love in return. >reddit's raisedbynarcissists subreddit could provide more info.
>>17147101
Made it difficult for me to bring women I was involved with around family. It caused some stress and hurt feelings. My brother didn't talk to my mom for a long time because she was trying to interfere with his marriage.
My mom being highly critical and demanding when I was a kid has caused more of an issue. When I'm tired or stressed I can be overly sensitive to criticism coming from someone I care about.
>>17147336
Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps.
I just got a summer job bartending at a high end resteraunt but I got a 4 inch wide tattoo on my hand I have to cover up by next week. Anyone know any good make-up items to use?
>>17147062
Use flesh colored paint
Foundation is your friend. Get water resistant foundation so you don't sweat it off.
>Not just wearing some classy gloves
I don't really talk to my mother, she's bipolar and has shitty boundaries. I always sort of despised her growing up because she was such a weak person that I practically raised myself.
Turns out after talking to her recently she's been getting chemotherapy for cancerous lung nodules and has been short of breath latel, coughing and whatnot. Shes the type that believes prayer will help heal her cancer.
Anyway I guess I'm wondering what kind of life expectancy anyone might have seen as far as this goes. I have mixed feels about it but will at least...
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>>17147020
depends entirely on how agressive the cancer is. Wether it will spread in the body or not.
If its true what you said about your mom then I guarantee you that things will become toxic rather soon.
Sorry for you
>>17147043
Is it wrong to sort of look forward to her passing away?
>>17147350
yes
Is it normal for the effects of alcohol to return slightly the morning after a night of being intoxicated?
You're still drunk dummy that's why hangover sessions are the best
>>17147019
But it's been seventeen hours.
>>17147008
its normal. sometimes it can take long than a day for the effects to fully ware off. im hungover due to drinking alot last night.
i've got a cut on my mushroom tip, just a tiny cut.
also i'm not circumsized so it just doesn't want to heal because it doesn't stay dry.
how do i heal this shit, do i just spend my entire day with the skin pulled back fuck
thanks /adv/
Ok first, how?
>>17147007
friction.
ok genius that i am i covered my tip in a zinc salve
left it on for a while, then washed it off.
now there's literally zinc UNDER the skin near the cut wound.
or it may have congealed in the wound or some shit i don't know.
infection incoming?
Is there anyone here with disassociation? I'm not sure if I just disassociated or not, it was weird.
I suffer from diagnosed anxiety and OCD, so normally I'm pretty anxious, but I deal with it. I was in the kitchen, making food, when I suddenly had a thought of my girlfriend cheating, causing a spike in anxiety, but I understood it as an intrusive though. Suddenly, however, I felt a spike of anxiety for an hour or so, like quite intense anxiety and sadness, but afterwards I felt numb; too numb. It didn't feel like I was totally "there" for anything,...
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>>17146965
The latter part does sound like dissociation.
You can look up grounding techniques, sometimes people will recommend you hold something heavy to "ground" yourself. Sometimes people will recommend you repeat a mantra. I usually find having someone talk to me on the phone helps, I have a friend who loves to ask me questions and it forces me to be conscious about who/where I am.
>>17146985
Okay, thanks.
It was concerning. I feel super drained now. Maybe it was just anxiety combined with tiredness, but I'll certainly be aware of these feelings in the future.
Thanks, I was listening to music which kind of helped as I sang the lyrics. You sound lime you have a good friend, anon.
>>17146965
psych major here. yeah, sounds like textbook dissociation. there's the stress, which triggers a defense mechanism in you to withdraw hence the feeling of not being there. it's a form of detachment to cope with the problem. but that's just current theory on why. it does give some comfort in being easily understood.
if you're diagnosed then keep up your therapy. those take consistency before actually having any changes. ask your doc for something with less crappy sides than benzos.
as...
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Girlfriend of 5 years wants to get married. I completely understand and love her to death, but am embarrassed that I have no friends, can't dance, can't afford a wedding, and won't enjoy anything about the process.
Aside from my personal insecurities, I just feel like the whole thing is a waste of time/money when we could put it towards a trip or anything else! She knows I feel like this but I don't think she realizes how strongly I don't care about marriage in a traditional sense.
Just wondering, anyone else feel the same way about it?
Does she want to get married, or does she want to have a wedding? A simple civil ceremony costs little to nothing, doesn't involve large numbers of people or dancing, and is very quick. All of your concerns are dealt with, and she gets to be married. Is there any remaining problem?
i think getting married is awesome, but i agree that weddings are a waste of time and money. if i were to get married, i'd MUCH rather just like, go on vacation with my husband/wife to be and get married as privately as possible in a small setting.
it sucks though because if i were to do that, my mom, who means the world to me, would probably be heartbroken about it.
>>17146982
She wants a real wedding. I'd be cool with a civil ceremony and maybe a small get together with close family at a nice restaurant or venue. I'll need to talk to her about finding a middle ground. Is this becoming more common? I don't know of anyone else who's done this but I feel like it makes more sense. I have never enjoyed a regular wedding.
Ladies and gentlemen, cancerous memelords, and whatever poor fuck stumbled upon this site and can't leave- I am a man deeply conflicted about something with too many variables to figure out myself and seek the advice of third parties.
I should've posted before I started getting funny feelings but hopefully I can still stay objective in my description:
I've been good friends a woman for over a decade since high school. We've always gotten along fine and had fun and bla bla bla. She has never been deep in my circle of friends 'cause she is...
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2/3
She has been in a relationship with someone for years. I make it my policy not to delve into more personal aspects of my friends' lives unless they want to initiate conversation. I do not know their state of affairs but for the past year they have seemed to be drifting apart. I've heard rumors thrown around that together form an image- something to the effect of them not being together anymore because the dude is a selfish manchild or something but she still lets him live in her house out of pity for his financial situation. I wouldn't discount such...
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3/4 actually holy FUCK this is long
I kept trying to tell myself "nah man she's just like that with people she is really close to," but I find myself acting in a similar manner, something which is out of character for me. I'd know that things aren't weird 'cause when I jokingly reciprocate the more blatant actions she recoils giggling and we just laugh it off, but that's happening a little less each time. Every once in a while she will lean in to her friend and express preference for me regarding more intimate hypotheticals, while...
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4/4
I'm not so naive that I can't see what it looks like, but at the same time I know her well enough and I'm paranoid about damaging relationships with the people I know where I have to ask myself if all this is some kind of coping mechanism for her personal problems, or I'm reading to much into things, or some other shit like that. This wouldn't have even bothered me before if I didn't finally realize that yes, I am totally into her, and it took me this long to realize what I was subconsciously acting on. I'm also terrified that my...
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Hello /adv/,
I didn't wanted to make a thread for this but there's nothing like a stupid questions thread here.
Can you guys please help my brother choose a career path? He literally isn't interested by anything but he has to choose tomorrow.
He's done like 15 tests (even one at my uni) and they are not helping.
He's ENFP but his results were like 54 - 46 in the details so it doesn't seem very accurate.
TLDR: Help my brother choose a career path.
>>17146918
Does your brother have any skills/abilities that can be a hint to what interests him? Any hobbies that seem to make him happy?? Without somewhere to start, it's like opening a phone book and just calling a random number otherwise...
>>17146946
Nope, nothing at all. He's not stupid tho, he has good notes.
He likes playing Dark Souls and CoD, that makes him happy I guess.
Maybe a career that wouldn't strees him out? I'm oblivious and he doesn't even care.
Does someone has some sort of career tiers infographics?
There must be something he doesn't like at all.
Let's start with this.
Something is wrong with /adv/. I usually get weirded out by odd shit.
For example, children laughing and playing make me want to pull my hair out. I don't know why. I know I don't really like kids but I don't know why. I hate toddlers in particular. Teenagers can be okay because they can understand some things. They are tolerable.
Toddlers piss me off. Capable of walking and sometimes talking but don't understand jack shit.
Seeing couples in public makes me really angry. I hate seeing PDA too. I get the feeling I am a really internally...
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You are too egocentric to stand seeing something that isn't about you.
Maybe also you envy these interactions or maybe you repress too much and think that the rest of the people should do the same.
What do you think?
>>17146928
>7
>>17146928
I think probably the second option. I do envy these people I guess but children really do bug me out.
What bugs me out more is seeing young people with children already. In my mind I think "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOUE VEN THINKING!?" "Now you are 20 years old saddled by fucking crotch fruit. Good job idiot!"
Granted, I am 25 but seeing young mothers and shit really makes me upset because...
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>>17146954
You may question their choices but your reaction is stupid.
I think that if you took care of yourself more you wouldn't be bothered by what others do. Your complaint seems a powerless cry. You can't fix their lives and that makes you frustrated. Maybe it is a reflection on what you are doing youself.
Are "abnormally" small nipples/areola indicative of anything worrying? I'm female and my areola are the size of dimes. They're smaller than most men's nipples and I haven't seen any women with areola that small.
pic unrelated
>>17146889
How big am they?
>>17146893
28 DD
post pic
I am Planning to major in MIS (Management for Information Systems). It is an Information Systems degree with a tie into business. Does anyone know about this?
Yes. That and supply chain logistics are the top tier business degrees on the market right now.
>>17146955
Do you know anyone who is in this field? Everyone I talk to are a year or two ahead of me in schooling
>>17146966
Yes. I did my undergrad at the U of A. Sam Walton school of business there is a top tier business school nationally, they're consistently in the top 5 or 10. Lots of people I know got into MIS. A lot of them fast tracked into Walmart etc due to their connections.
Quite literally I often cannot wake up on time. I've actually turned off alarms in my sleep before and often just cannot hear them.
The hours I sleep make virtually no difference, I've woken up at 12 PM after going to bed at 8 PM and 8 AM after about an hour of sleep.
This hasn't fucked my life just yet but I really need to figure out how to stop this before it does. Would it be medically safe to rig a shock collar as my alarm or something similar?
You might have some brain damage, I would go talk to a doctor
How long do you tend to regulate your sleep for, and how often are you attempting to change your schedule?
What kind of environment are you in before you go to sleep? What typically occurs in during the time in which you are sleeping? Have you considered recording yourself sleep to see if there aren't outside factors contributing to your unrestfulness? When you wake up, do you immediate get up, or lie in bed for a bit? How is your blood pressure? Do you drink large quantities of caffeine, or consume lots of simple carbs?
Well this is a problem I face daily, I turn off alarm after alarm and later regret it, and the only things that have helped me are one , to drink a ton of water before sleep, to haveore urges to pee in the morning, and the other one is to sleep a nap before actually going to bed, like a 15 or 20 min nap, it doesn't make me getting up early a whole lot easier, but it certainly helps
So I did my research and have a fairly good and very specific idea what I want to buy my fiancee as an engagement ring.
Do I just google "local jewelry stores" and go to the nearest 4 stores or so and check if they have it/try to buy a ring off of them?
Is that how people do this?
yes
How much are you spending on the ring out of curiosity?
>>17146792
I want to spend about $1900-2100 on the diamond alone and then probably $300-400 on the rest of the ring, so realistically probably about $2400. Using the bluenile.com diamond search thing as if I were going to just buy online, I'm able to find diamonds G color, Ideal cut, VS1 clarity, and about .6-.64 carat size for this range. I realize .6-.64 isn't that big but neither is my budget.
I am hoping I can find the same deals in person if I go to a store.
>>17146788
Look up reviews online, word of mouth from other people is a good source too.
Try to go for a local place or small local chain, avoid those big franchise places like Kay or Jareds. And for fucks sake avoid everything in a mall.
