Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 776. page
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How do I keep my shit together for long enough to get to a shrink when it's been fucking months since I was promised one and fucking nothing has happened?
>>17146743
Why is it taking so long to see a psych doctor if you really need one, OP?! You may want to switch whatever is holding you back (doctor's office, insurance plan, etc.). Try to find someone else to talk to in the meantime...there are hotlines out there, or maybe talk to a priest or someone who can just listen objectively and may be able to advise you. GL!
>>17146794
I'm being held back by their lack of resources. The funds for out glorious socialist welfare state's public health care are being cut because the gap between the rich and the poor isn't large enough.
I am currently trying to figure out who else to go talk to, so far 4chan is being my best option. I'm not religious, and protestants don't do this "confessional box" thing and I don't think a priest would support my life choice of being a tranny disaster anyhow.
>>17146743
Lemme guess, it's the anon who needs a shrink for working through self-harm issues and signing off on HRT?
My suggestions are to start with standard coping mechanisms: exercise is a good replacement for self-harm since it also hurts and releases endorphins, but on the plus side actually helps your health and you can show off the results more easily.
Doing that right now myself, exhausted today. Probably going to wake up feeling like i got hit by a bus again.
There's also meditation, works for some people. And CBT programs you can try online, also works for some.
People who respond to one usually respond to the other too.
After that, there's more maladaptive coping, like workaholism and alcoholism.
Then there's over-the-counter and legal drugs, we'll get to that if you've exhausted the above.
Hey /adv/, I've been with my first serious girlfriend for a little over 3 years now, we're both 20. I love her but I can't get over the fact that I have a desire to sleep with other women. We're perfect for each other and have so many similar interests but I guess I just don't know how to deal with this anxiety.
Then go do it, before you marry and fuck her life up. It won't pass. You can regret what you lost afterwards.
>>17146721
I don`t think that relationships that began below your 20s (just a thumb rule) are destined to be succesful. Your desires obviously don`t fit what is considered stable and commited, which is understandable your age.
Don't fuck it up. You're going to have urges to sleep with other women because that's natural, but if you truly love your girlfriend enough you'll value your relationship more than some pussy.
Hey /adv/ Got any tips or excercises to be more fluent at speaking?
Yes, I'm kind of introvert and I'm improving a lot since the last year but that's nothing to do with my talking;
I don't have scenic panic, I'm not a stammerer and I'm a over-the-average reader so I got a pretty wide vocabulary (in my native language of course). The thing is, when I talk to other people or when I'm doing a presentation at class or something, it's a little difficult to find the correct words in the exact moment and sometimes I even take long pauses to think what I'm saying or to make a proper phrase.
>>17146697
Sounds like you overthink it, there are some great Ted talks on the subject.
In regards to presenting, do you make a transcript that you read through?
How do you prepare?
>>17146702
Usually I prepare a speech about the subject and try to study a lot about it to make sure I talk about everything I need to cover. I always have a ppt where I write the keypoints to avoid forgetting something.
What Ted Talks do you recommend?
thanks anon
>>17146733
Do you prepare the actual presentation?
I does wonders to stand in an empty room and practice your transcript. Try to just 'present' articulate and use your own words to explain the transcript you've made. It makes your presentation authentic and lessens the chance that you'll stop midway and think over the words.
Sup /adv/, I've got a job problem, and though 4chan might be the wrong place to ask, I figured I'd give it a shot
So: I'm currently in a medical residency program, and my term is ending, so I've been applying for jobs. So far plenty of phone interviews, but no offers. My main worry is that the places I'd actually like to live won't offer at all, or won't before my 'graduation', while places I'd prefer not to live might
My supervisors have been giving me shit for prioritizing potential offers based on location, but I think they're more concerned with our program's stats: if I don't place before graduation, it reflects poorly on the program
At the same time, I don't really want to graduate without having my next job lined up, as I'll have to return to my parents' house and bum off them while continuing to interview around waiting for the 'perfect' offer while having rejected several okay-ish ones :/ All because really don't want to get locked into places like Peoria, IL, or Cheyenne, WY, too small, too far from anything interesting, and too few people in the dating pool
Am I being too picky? Anybody else here been in a similar bind?
Bumpin
>>17146657
> prioritizing potential offers based on location
This is why we have invented "rent an apartment" thingy. Do you know you can get decent paying job in shitty area, try being there for a while and still looking for better places? And if you find yourself enjoying the place, you can stay.
Also chances of getting better jobs in better areas are higher with gained experiences in your current job. So as long as you don't accept some bullshit like "I have to work here for X years before I can go elsewhere" you are free to do whatever you like.
Just read your work employment contract carefully for such clauses.
>>17147578
Are you like 14?
You clearly have no fucking clue about whats going on here....
>>17146657
OP take the job thats the most "ok"ish on offer abd stick it out. After you have exp. In your feild then move. Then again as man child above me said you may like what you find in the more rural areas...
Is it possible to literally live your entire life in a constant state of stress? Is it possible to have permanent stress for literally no reason?
90% of my problems could apparently be caused by stress, and I have no sources of stress in my life. This is just the normal way I always feel.
How do you reduce stress when there's literally no cause of stress?????
>>17146640
>Is it possible to literally live your entire life in a constant state of stress? Is it possible to have permanent stress for literally no reason?
Yes, it's called GAD.
>How do you reduce stress when there's literally no cause of stress?????
You go to a doctor and get medication for it.
>>17146648
I've been diagnosed with depression and left untreated for like 4-5 times now.
How do I convince them that I actually have a problem that needs to be treated, and actually GET treatment?
>>17146653
Go to a different doctor.
If you've been to 3 and they all say the same thing, do what they say.
Do older people give better advice?
>>17146611
No, really smart realistic people give the best advice.
>>17146611
They can, but not all of them do. Figruring out which omes to take advice from can be tricky.
>>17146611
On the average, yes. Simply because they have more life experience. But obviously it's a case by case basis. And it also depends a lot on what you want advice for.
I'm an older guy and like to think I give better /adv/ice than most people, just due to my life experience.
I'm really paranoid.
I've been talking to this girl for about 7 months now. We met right before she left for a study abroad program in Europe. I really like her, and she likes me, but I'm unsure lately.
Before(2 months ago) she would be really affectionate with me and everything, and now she hasn't been. The distance makes it shitty texting, with the time zones and such. But I'm always the one texting her or hitting her up.
She tells me about her going out to clubs and these guys she hangs out with. I get pissed Bc I don't wanna hear that shit. I told her that, and she said that her previous bf's had done that to her, so she developed a defense mechanism to "one-up" that person she's talking to.
I'm constantly stressing about who she's with, or if she's talking to someone else.
Am I being weird about this? We haven't had sex, are talking(I don't wanna ask her to be my gf over text), but we are 2000 miles apart for the next 3 months. I just feel like I'm being super paranoid, but at the same time, maybe my suspicion is justified.
On the one hand she isn't your gf so you don't get to be possessive of her... But on the other hand she is signaling to hat she knows you are interested by doing to you what her "exes did to her" and trying to justify it that way.
Basically take note of her behavior and decide if her personality is one that you like enough to deal with this sort of thing.
You have no relationship, so you have literally nothing to be paranoid over.
>>17146621
Will do.
I've asked her a couple times if we are gonna keep this going when she comes back and at first she said yes, and then(about a week ago) she said that it's hard to say because she hasn't seen me in so long and the distance is messing with her. I get that, and can understand what she's saying. So now I'm questioning whether or not she still likes me, or if it really is the distance.
It's hard for me because I'm at home, just going to work and not much else. She's in Europe, going to different countries and all this. So I appear really needy, texting her all the time and stuff and that makes me feel like a bitch.
I'm considering not talking to her while she's in Europe, just because I don't want what we have to fade even more, but I don't want her to lose all interest and find someone new or something either.
Hi /adv/. So there's a girl who I like, and it's her birthday today. She and I have spoken a bit, but we're not at the level of messaging each other everyday. + it seems kind of one way where I'll message her a medium size message on a Friday, and she'll reply with 3 similar sized messages on Monday. I know these breaks mean she's busy and all, but I also know it means that it's one way going towards her.
What should I write for her FB birthday.
Pic unrelated
I forgot to mention, I'm planning on asking her to prom, but I'm not sure how I can isolate her from her friends.
Don't overthink it, just say happy birthday. On another day, ask if she wants to go out with you.
OP here. I wrote "It's your birthday so let's fuck!"
Hope she laughs.
So I started seeing a girl after about a 3 year break from relationships. We have great sex quite frequently and she keeps telling me that she loves it, but my problem is that no matter how hard I focus I just can't cum with a condom during sex.
This is more than likely because I've been masturbating almost twice a day during these past 3 years and I've been desensitised so much that I barely feel anything with a condom on. Not only that, but as soon as I put the condom on there's basically a countdown that starts until I start going half-limp while fucking her, because there's barely anything keeping me erect other than her moaning, and that's not really enough to get me going.
I feel like shit because she's worried that I'm not attracted to her despite reassurring her that the problem is on my side every time she asks, but I do know that it still nags her.
The funny thing is that if I masturbate thinking about the sex we just had, I barely last over a minute. It's just that I need maximum focus to do this, which I can't do while we're in the middle of it.
Long term we may eventually get to do it without a condom once we get more confident in each other, but until then I need to find a solution. What can I do?
tl;dr New girlfriend after long break, can't cum during sex because too much masturbation
>>17146471
Have been through this. Stop masturbating right now. Don't do it again till along time after you are cured. Next step is getting used to a condom on, have her give you hand jobs without or try anal if she is willing (tighter). There is now a mental and physical aspect of it, stimulation and the fear of going limp. This fear you need to get over by proving you can do it. Should be overcome by the first its of advise. Are you under a lot of pressure from studies or work?
>>17146471
Ps have been in your situation
>>17146480
No more masturbation is a given at this point. I've deleted all the shit I had saved on my tablet/PC and will be keeping away until this is solved.
I'm not under pressure from work at all, there's nothing that preocupies my mind during the act, it's just that I need maximum focus with absolutely no sounds or anything to distract me when masturbating, which affects me when I try to do it during sex.
Hi adv, I'm 27 years old, have a light form of autism, and i'm currently working part time as a factory packer. But its a dead end job, I make a bit less than a1000 each month, and my earnings are partially payed by the goverment because of my disability. I talked with my boss the other day, and they said that even if I work full time, i would make the same amount of money. I would like to earn more money to save up, and to help out my family. But i'm note sure what my options are. I was told I should invest some money, and I would like to look for something that pays more. But I think i'm stuck in that area of minimum wage jobs.
What are you good at?
What are your symptoms?
Go to school.
>>17146423
I don't really have symptons as far as I know, I'm a bit slower at understanding things, and sometimes its hard for me to explain myself. My current job says they calculated I work about 60% of what a normal person without autism would work. They do say that they like that i work slowly at times, cuase i get things done right instead of quickly rushing things.
>>17146446
Unfortunatly School isn't an option for me right now
> her: just been crying in bed, i dont wanna get out of my room my eyes look fucking horrible
> her: end my suffering
> me: dw you'll be okay
>her: [crying]
>>17146271
Sorry in a rush.
IM TERRIBLE AT COMFORTING PEOPLE WHAT DO I DO?
Shut up. Let her talk. Listen and actually listen, tell her your they're for her. But fucking listen, don't fake it
I'd bounce desu
i didnt had sex for more than a year! im not ugly and guys are usually attracted to me, but i have social anxiety and dont go out much. i sick of going solo /any advice?./
Shut the fuck up anime bitch
You can literally go anywhere in public and it will be a sausage fest. Try going to a bar but only order soda.
Where u are, im coming XD
So I just drank some alcohol 2 days ago for the first time in 7 years (I'm 23). The reason for this does not matter, but the effect on my mental health was really good. I felt so happy for once, and so good, like I didn't in many years already. But it made me sick in the stomach later, I felt like I will puke but I didn't want to actually at the same time, I felt weird in my stomach. So it may be because the alcohol that I drank was tasting bad, it was vodka with flavor, IDK how it's called in english, but it tasted DISGUISTING. It also had those little fruit pieces UGHHHH, I drank one and half of a glass and that made me really happy and a little drunk. So what's the problem here? Should I try anothr alcohol, maybe beer to let myself get a little drunk but not feel like shit afterwards (physically)?
>>17146201
Beer will make you feel shit next morning just as badly because you still taste it next morning. Red wine is nice but will give you bad hangovers and make you tired af. White wine is for women but I guess it could work for you. Gin tonic maybe?
>>17146215
>for women
Never really understood this fad, that there are some alcohols for women and some for men. Anyways, It wasn't really like I felt bad on the next day, it was kinda OK the next day, I felt the worst about 3-7 hours after I drank.
You mentioned white wine, how is it better than the other alcohols? I know shit about alco.
>>17146225
There's different reasons to get sick
It can be to strong, like drinking wodka pure if you're inexperienced.
It can be full of sugar, making you sick that way
Higher alcohols in whiskies make you sick
The fizz in beer can make you feel bloated and sick.
Drinking to much red wine always makes you puke it out like you have ebola and puking blood, this is the most disgusting memory I have.
And the taste can be so shit that you get sick.
White wine is for women because they can only handle that because the sweetness of the wine masks almost all alcohol while there's still plenty of alcohol in it. This obviously doesn't apply to dry white wines, only to the cheap sweet ones you get when you order wine at a bar, if you're not insecure about your sexuality it's fine to drink if you like it, but people will judge you.
I wanna make anal sex with my bf, but my ass is still virgin. How can i make it easier?
>>17146193
>Sharpie in pooper
Nice setup.
I have regular anal sex with my bf and sometimes it's really amazing and other times it's too painfull. What makes the difference is small stuff like how relaxed and horny i am. I usually like it best if we start with oral, then proceed to PiV sex and then when we are both already really worked up, bf proceeds to play with my ass. We also use loads of lube and then the trick is to not go too slow when entering. That's the part that might be pretty painfull. It sounds weird, but it's better tolerable when he's balls deep inside you. While he is entering you, BREATH. Seriously. It keeps you relaxed. And try to keep your jaw soft. Don't clench. It helps to not tense up, which leads to pain. Make sure he has been almost at the point of no return before you started so he will only need a few minutes of anal to cum buckets. Prepare for anal leakage and bloating after... It works like an enema.
Thanks, was just going to try and get my gf into anal tonight.
Recently I made a post on spotted that I am looking to make new friends, and I got quite nice amount of thumbs up (indicating those people want to get to know me). Since then I send about 6/7 messages to different people and one friend invitation, and only ONE person read my message and replied. Why is it that? The other people ddidn't even read my messages, like they didn't get them or something (I am 100% sure they didn't read those messages yet)... Can't they see my message cause I am not friends with them on fb? What's the deal?
burp
You are either 15 or have the maturity of a 15 year old.
it goes into a different folder, one that's not frequently checked.
