Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 707. page
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>always thinking about sex
>constantly downloading porn
>masturbate 4+ times a day
>always feel slightly horny because of this
I've been like this for years. My question is how do I stop thinking about boobs all the damn time because this clearly isn't healthy.
>>17175178
Have you ever looked at saggy tits on young girls? Maybe that'll put you off
>>17175178
How old are you?
>>17175224
I'm 19.
How do you change how hiu generally trust people?
>I've been royally fucked by a lot of people who I gave my everything.
>Now I have trust issues
>Im realizing that only after 3 years into my relationship that I can't trust my girlfriend because she has made ~20 white lies the whole time
>I really want to be able to trust her, but I've had 5-10 years of people fucking my trust
>I've been trying so hard to reverse this as my gf is trust worthy and my everything
How do you finally trust someone if you have problems with others in the past and trust issues in general? There are just a few things I remember in our relationship that really fucked over my trust for her, but they should be healed by now.
>>17175101
Tell me if you ever figure it out
I never talk about feelings and i never opened up
After i did a girl cheated on me and destroyed that little part of trust i ever developed so yeah
Now people need to bring a siege host with a couple of battering rams
>>17175101
>>17175157
same. the worst thing is, its hard for me to lie too. and the girl i was with before my girlfriend was the most innocent and cute thing ever. she was portrayed to everyone as this girl who had nothing wrong with her. lol, trust issues are ruining my relationship. (or are they? maybe its saving my relationship) along with me being a severe overthinker.
>>17175157
>>17175157
I'm openly expressing that I don't trust her, and that im trying very hard to. But how does one open up after such a shit past with people.
I'm always mad at my boyfriend ...
I HATE feeling like a bitch who just nags and stuff. that is not my personality at all or how I want to be perceived by anyone. I am a nice person and selfless, unlike other people my age I'm not really selfish and only care about my happiness/goals/whatever, I'd never stomp on other people to get what I want or use anyone. but being with my bf I feel like I nag, am mad a lot, and I guess could be called bitchy.
I hate being like this. Instead of nagging him wheneve I'm mad, ive tried to not say anything but then I can't stop myself from acting weird still like I'll be super quiet and stuff. so it's either be quiet or talk about it and get in a fight. I don't mind talking about stuff but when I talk about why I'm upset he turns it into figjht, when all I try to do is communicate with him.
I don't know if I just hold him to too high standards, and I'm let down a lot and that's why I'm mad? it's really putting a big space in between our relationship because over the past two or more weeks, whenever we see each other we either fight the whole time, fight on and off, or get in at least one fight.
I love him so much but I feel like he just does so much stupid things which results in me getting mad and us getting in fights.
should I try to care less, expect less of him? I really don't wanna break up with him. but I feel like he just tries less hard in our relationship, puts in little effort, and doesn't really make me feel special and loved anymore as much as he used to. I probably require more love/assurance than most people but that's just how I am, I wnana be in a relationship where I feel wanted, loved, and respected...
If yoy made it very clear that what he's doing is an issue and he makes no attempt to curve his behavior you need to let his ass go. Don't lower your standards because he isn't willing to meet them.
i act the exact same way he does in the relationship, i put in less effort and i don't make my s/o feel as "special" anymore. I don't know about him but i act like that because i kind of want to be single and not be in a relationship anymore but i love my girlfriend so i'll stay with her unless she breaksup with me. I do put in effort but it's not as much as i used to.
Hope this helps.
>>17175169
I feel sorry for your girlfriend.
I was going to post this elsewhere, but i know /adv/ is one of the more serious boards for asking questions like this.
So I know this waitress, she noticed I had a metal tag on my key chain that said "FUCK", which was literately the fuck I don't give.
She asked if she could have it, I told her no because I don't give a fuck. She asked if i could make her one with her name on it i said sure.
Made it for her, and then left it and the one that said FUCK on it with my tip the next time i was there.
A few weeks later she asked if i could make her another, and i asked what she wanted on it, she said "I don't know, surprise me" and walked off. I sent her a message on FB asking what she wanted on it because i was getting ready to make them, she said
>"I want it to say whatever you want it to say"
I like this girl, she probably knows that, but i don't know her too well, nothing beyond a bunch of random ass snippets of her life, not well enough to have any idea as to what to put on this tag. I made one that says "I don't know" on one side and "surprise me" on the other, but i feel as if i should make her one that isn't me being a sarcastic asshole.
I have no clue what to put on it, my friend said put "Please" on one side and "Fuck me" on the other, which to be fair, would be hilarious, but is not really how i go about things.
That was a lot longer then i planned it to be, but i felt it needed a back story.
>Tl;dr: I need 1-3 words to put on a keychain for a hella cute girl.
>Pic unrelated.
"Wanna go out?"
2 birds 1 stone faggot
>>17175113
That is a consideration, and I do want a date with her, but probably only one date. Only because I've liked her for as long as I've known her and i feel as if I should give it a shot, but on the other hand she partys a lot, drugs and drinking and whatnot, whereas I don't, so long term probably wouldn't work out.
Some suggestions:
YOLO
Live Life
You are you
What up!
Stop looking
Mellow
THC
Hit me up
RTFM
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Girls: If a guy has a crush on you, you are not really attracted to him, and he suddenly has cancer, would you have sex with him?
I don't have cancer or anything, just wondering.
>>17174969
uhm, no. why would i?
>>17174969
I don't pity-fuck people, so no.
I have finals next week.
My girlfriend's birthday is this week.
She wants to go to Disneyland, which is about 4 hours away from us.
She only wants to go on her birthday and doesn't want to go a week after finals because it wont be special because its "not her birth day"
I don't know what to do. I feel bad that last week I told her that we can go there but I don't feel like I have a handle on my finals (I'm taking 4 classes. 2 extremely hard, and 2 easy). I thought I had a handle, but recently I've been proved otherwise.
What do I do? Do we not go? She acts like her birthday will be boring and she'll be sad if we don't go to that one place.
She said she understands but she is obviously upset.
>>17174935
If your girlfriend doesn't put your finals over her birthday party, she's quite a bitch.
She can go there with her friends and you two can do something special some other day, after the finals are done.
Don't be stupid, you come first before your girl. Get your fucking future together before trying to please someone who's only going to be in your life for a short while.
>>17174938
>>17174941
She's sad because she feels like she probably won't do anything on her birthday and her friends probably won't go that day.
I told her I'll make it up to her but she just feels like she wasted her birthday.
The only thing I'm not okay with is the drive. It's a 4 hour commute there and back. Meaning that if we want to spend a whole day at disneyland, we gotta stay at a hotel the night before.
That's two whole days of studying I'm missing out on.
I told her I'll take her out somewhere nice but she just feels bad and doesn't want to do ANYTHING but go to Disneyland and if she can't go, she won't do anything because "nothing will be as good as Disneyland"
We probably won't go to Disneyland but I still want to do something for her on her birthday but she's not having it.
How to deconstruct morality?
I want to be able to be kind and chamaleonic, but I don't want to suffer because of my moral codes. It's so stuck on me...
I'm not asking for help about just being better with myself. I just want to change, don't want a way back.
>>17174859
Don't deconstruct or whatever. There is immense joy in setting standards for yourself and living up to them. Not the joy of victory or acquisition, but of serenity and being fully OK in any moment.
>>17174888
I can't really see that point; but I'm not totally sure why I'm convinced about doing this. I may think my life would be easier without some obstacles and doing things that in any other way, I would feel guilty of.
>>17174859
the rules of moral codes are generic.
for instance 'thou shalt not kill'. but there are plenty of laws and even instances in the bible that say it is okay to kill in sthat circumstance.
and realistically it is. you dont deconstruct morality. you simply live by the following
>do your best to enjoy life without hurting others. Take everything that happens case by case.
What medication does /adv/ recommend for anxiety?
I have too much anxiety and I'm depressed but I believe the anxiety is the main cause for my poor health.
My only rule is no antidepressants such as Prozac. They don't work enough and and change you too much.
Please help.
>>17174839
Ativan helps but for the short run. It's a Benzo so it can be very addicting and you can build up tolerance to it. Therapy/Group therapy to change your thought process.
>>17174839
Wondering myself.
>>17174867
Would it be bad to take Ativan with any sleep meds?
I was considering adopting a child, but only after the the younger years where they demand so much time/attention/effort as I still want to have a life
But then the kid won't be as attached to you, right?
I'm wondering whether to get a younger child or maybe a preteen
Advice?
>>17174806
FUCKING BLUE BOARD.
Fucking newfags. Enjoy the Ban.
>>17174806
Adopting child is a ~1 year war with bureaucracy where you lose your privacy (unless you enjoy strangers poking at your home, sexuality, job, psychology and stupid questions like why would you adopt a child). Also it is harder (some countries impossible) if you are single.
It is waaaaay easier to get your own child by old natural ways :-D
>I still want to have a life
I am not sure if you see a difference between pet and little human being. Because being GOOD parent requires a lot of things to do.
>won't be as attached to you
This depends on AGE and personality of such kid. But if you manage to snatch a kindergarten kid, it can see you as it's parent pretty easily. All you have to do is to care.
Just try to remember yourself, what are your first memories and what do they depict. Anything before that is unimportant: aka the kid will not care.
>>17174846
It's censored dumbass
Hello /adv/,
I'll make this short and sweet:
should I get my wisdom teeth removed a week or so before starting work and get the loopy recovery time out of the way, or should I get it done a month or so in, once I have dental insurance, and try to time it right so I don't miss too much work?
Two teeth are impacted and one is partial; without insurance it's going to cost me around 2100 big ones.
Honestly the recovery time isn't very long, at least it wasn't for me. So I'd probably wait until you have insurance.
A week should be fine for your recovery. It's mostly a few days after the surgery which are kind of painful.
>>17174677
Do you NEED it removed?
I've heard dentists are jews and will take them out even if you don't need it done.
I have a lot of hard exams coming up and although I have studied a lot throughout the year, I still feel unprepared. I've gone over all the content but there's just so, so much of it I feel I won't be ready in time. I have 9 exams -- all bunched up one after the other.
Any tips on how to maximize memory and pick up information fast? Also how to reduce exam stress, I'm killing myself worrying about what I'll do if I don't get top grades.
Relax and eat a lot of pizza abd you'll be fine
>>17174605
Ireland?
>>17174762
Naw, England.
Tell me why I shouldn't double major in Computer Science and Pure Mathematics
>>17174532
It will be hard
>>17174532
There are math majors where you can specialize in computational mathematics.
And also tell me what to minor in. Considering philosphy, botany, chemistry, physics...
There were a lot of people out today and I found a baby beaver crossing the road. All the cars stopped and wouldn't even go around it even though it was so small they could just drive over it. I crossed about 5 feet away from it and other people saw it, they were all giggling and laughing. I just walked by and I heard people get annoyed so one girl (still smiling with delight) ran to pick it up and moved it to the nearest forest (assuming that's where the beaver wanted to go). I know they must feel very righteous but I know they only helped it because it was a cute little thing. I care for the ugly and mistreated, would they have helped it if instead of an adorable "likeable" baby it was a disgusting, repulsive vermin? Would they have pitied it then? Would they not treat it like a pest and hope the worst for it? They looked down on me for not helping the animal, probably thinking they're good people but I know 99% of people would've helped the baby if they could - I didn't do it because I knew it was safe, even the cars stopped for it, and I was also angry that so many people cared for the well being of that animal. Hypocrites that they are, they ignore the drug addicts and homeless and other unfortunate lives, they enjoy their lives, they don't volunteer and only work when it earns them money - but they happily help a cute creature, not even their own species who they argue, belittle, mock and hate, but a cute animal makes them become like angels, willing to do anything for it. Not everyone is lucky enough to be wealthy, the poor people are those without money, beauty, creativity or any attractive features. In other words, I'm upset that these people (most people) would not realize their terrible hypocrisy and feel good about themselves for doing something that gave them pleasure, helping an adorable thing. If it were a pest they would be annoyed that it's alive, repulsed by it.
In other words, what i'm saying is:
>Homeless person begging for food
absolutely nobody helps this person, they avoid even looking at him. They have money but don't give any
>cute rodent crossing the road
Everyone stops, nobody can continue with their day until this tiny furry creature's life is saved.
>>17174513
I live in NYC and the homeless here are homeless by choice. Begging for your change is their job and you aren't doing them a kindness by paying them to to their job.
>>17174535
You miss the point of the post
Fellow guys, how do you get over the fact that dating is such a rigged game?
Women from 16-30 have guys throwing themselves at them 24/7 irl/online, men do literally all the work...you're one of 20 guys that asked her out that year or even hundreds if she has dating websites. You dial this work and then at anytime she can just drop you and move on.
How do you keep doing it?
Because sometimes there is a mutual attraction, and I don't think so little of myself that I deny the possibility
>>17174449
You just described online dating, and it's rigged because it's the last resort for men who are socially inept and women desperate enough to sort through them.
>>17174458
Not just online dating dude and you know it. Even in irl the guy approaches, has to impress the girl, set the date, etc. literally do all the work just to get told no. And she can get a bf at the snap of her fingers.
I'm in love with my best friend for several months. We have that special bond, we can spend countless hours together and it never gets weird or boring.
The sad part for me is that she has a boyfriend, but she never talks about him. It's a long distance relationship and they rarely see each other.
She has already told me several times that she really liked me but what does it say? Is she trying to leave a backdoor open, just in case?
We text everyday and I have to think about her everyday.
Should I confess to her?
It could get weird because we see each other at university quite often.
But I don't really want to keep living like this. I tried to date somebody else but it just didn't work out, still had to think about her.
So should I try it and move on if it doesn't work or am I too selfish if she is already in a relationship? What are the chances she also has feelings for me?
>>17174369
>some more details? it's a bit vague
>>17174369
cuuuute
Goddammit, OP are you me?
I have to tell you that I am in an absolutely identical situation except we both already graduated Uni.
I confessed my feelings for her and she said she loved me back, but she didn't know how to break up with her boyfriend without hurting him and she's scared of us breaking up and not being friends.
If you can surmount those obstacles, you're doing better than me.
Cute pic, by the way.
![4i9ok6LRT[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GTV4r5M.jpg "4i9ok6LRT[1]")
