Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 22. page
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Maybe someone feels the way I do.
Since I'm a kid I feel like not belonging anywhere. Whenever I'm with my friends or family I cannot forget the feeling of being a somewhat outsider, even though I'm not! I have a lot of good friends, a wonderful boyfriend and I'm actually a pretty extrovert. But something in me calls me to a world beyond, like I'm existing for something else.. Something bigger??
I do know how ridiculous that sounds but maybe I can find someone who experienced something similar.
>>17365464
I feel the same. I think for me it is caused by the fear of and inexperience with intimacy.
>>17365464
I get this feeling frequently and it sucks but one of my theories is that it's probably due to social insecurity of not being able to fit in I reckon.
>>17365529
What are you afraid of?
There is a girl who I regularly hook up with. There have been times where I get romantic feelings for her and it seems like at times she gets romantic feelings for me but we don't really see eye to eye on relationships (she would want it open, I would hate her with other men) so we never get carried away.
However I have been feeling really weird recently because the last few times she kind of wasn't really into it. We have in the past hung out without sex and even went to bed naked without sex and that's fine but I feel like she might be bored of me sexually or even finds me unattractive. So yeah I don't know. Self-esteem has taken a hit.
She is friendly as fuck still, hits me up, and we ended up passing out naked last night and she grabbed my arm to wrap herself with and definitely enjoyed me caressing her and even a little making out, but I could tell she didn't want to go beyond that. She told me she has not been feeling horny because she got rejected by some guy at her school. But that was after she was going on about how the past week shes been coming home and masturbating a lot which is why I asked. She also said that it does bother her that her parents like me even though they never met me.
It bums me out and makes me feel unwanted. We're taking a trip to San Francisco for a week soon (this is why she talked about me with her parents) and I have no idea what its going to be like now.
I'm, not even sure what advice is needed. The bright side is that after the trip I'm going to busy super busy with work, and her with school and the thing is that while I have been seeing her for the past 3 years, we usually are busy with shit or seeing other people so it doesn't matter. Only recently we've been seeing each other more often and I'm getting shit together for when my work starts so I don't have time to see other women. I think she senses that. Maybe advice I could use is how a straight guy can get an ego boost because that is definitely what I need right now.
>>17365461
>There is a girl who I regularly hook up with. There have been times where I get romantic feelings for her and it seems like at times she gets romantic feelings for me but we don't really see eye to eye on relationships (she would want it open, I would hate her with other men)
Can someone please tell me what is the difference between this and an open relationship?
>>17365461
its called casual sex, they are not in a relationship. what's happened is OP is falling for his hook up and a no, no because she has made it clear all she wants is casual sex and physical intimacy.
>>17365471
Open relationship involves emotions that are outright stated and acknowledged. You do couple stuff.
Fuck buddies that are getting emotional do not acknowledge it and do their level best to avoid any 'couple stuff' for fear of giving the wrong impression.
>>17365461
OP sounds like a fucking mess. You're crushing on a girl who you know wouldn't make you happy in a relationship. You'll never change her - and if you do, you'll always wonder if she's secretly riding the cock express without your knowledge. Keep fucking her if you want, but start investing your time & emotions into other women too, this will help you keep it casual.
My brother has recently ended his relationship with his now ex-wife. From what I know it's all due to an accusatory fallacy because apparently he cheated on her with another woman.
Now, my brother said she flew off the handle cause he was talking to another female which was purely platonic.
The problem I'm faced with is that she is now posting all over Facebook about how he's a cheat and all her friends are joining in like a pack of hyenas. She's even gone as far as posting on a "Buy & Sell" page about how he's a cheating husband and she's selling all their stuff. One of the other things she did was stole his phone for the night while she was out and was posting under his account about how he's playing the victim and is a cheat, etc.
I want to say something to her but I don't know how to approach it? I basically want to bring to light that she is dealing with the whole situation immaturely and that it's not right that she's airing her dirty laundry all over Facebook.
What exactly should I say to her that would be appropriate while sticking up for my brother?
this is your brother's shitshow, not yours. stay out of it
also he probably did cheat on her, or was flirting with the other woman, no woman is crazy enough to divorce her husband over him talking to just a friend.
>>17365506
got a winner here. stay out of it
>>17365506
>>17365512
Sounds like a good idea. Oh well, hope everything works out for him.
How does it feel to be loved? To be happy?
Why have I never experienced those feelings?
One guy in the last thread (I wasn't able to reply) suggested that I should pursue happiness. How would one go about that? I started working at 14, got a degree at second best university in my country, got hired at microsoft and went on to making $160k. Then I left the job and travelled a little. I was extremely motivated by the money from 14-17 years, but when I got to the point when I was making good money, and I lost all my motivation.
What should I try? I guess "how to find happiness" is a million dollar question, but maybe someone was in similar situation.
Thanks.
>>17365451
Date, put yourself out there and have fun!
>>17365455
I'm ugly as shit and have a social anxiety disorder. The disorder is immensly better than before, but it's still really tough to meet new people. But I'm trying and getting better.
>>17365451
There is a legit chance you may have a medical condition that causes depression, or clinical depression itself. Definitely look into it.
If you're sure you don't have anything like that, then make a list of reasons why you're alive. Things that matter to you; things that you'd like to do with yourself. Things that intrigue and inspire you. Put the pedal to the metal and do all the things OP. Life is short and you have so many fucking options, but I can't tell you what you enjoy - go out and try things till you figure it out.
So I hear about friends with benefits and guys who end up fucking their female friends and it's all good.
How do you even get to that point? What do you say or how do you bring it up? Kind of worried it will go down bad and they'll be like "oh so you've only been my friend cause you wanna fuck? Blah blah blah, don't ever talk to me again"
>>17365449
Be attractive enough
>>17365449
It happens naturally. If a man and woman have enough in common that they enjoy being friends, barring some major deficit as far as physical appeal, there will always be some degree of underlying sexual tension. Whether it's within your every day conscious thoughts or not.
All it really takes is the right context to bring this into view for both parties, as a shared experience. Or either one informing the other.
>>17365460
Alcohol is often a catalyst for it to start.
I have a tough choice here.
I can either go to a college I'm not interested in and still see my gf or go to a college I like but see her twice a month. She thinks we're going to have to break up and is now depressed. What do?
pic unrelated
I used to see an ex for 1.5 times every 2 months
You can handle 2 times a month
Trust me
>>17365440
College.
If she can't manage to see you a bit less and support you while you're pursuing your dreams, she's not long term material.
>>17365448
So who cheated first?
Why do I think of everything as though it's within context of everything? Looking for people who know what I mean.
Every social interaction i have with anyone is within context of our entire length knowing each other, even though they don't see it that way. Its making every interaction I have with anyone I love very frustrating and tedious. I feel like it comes with how I don't "live in the moment", per-say, and maybe how I don't seem to experience time the same way as some people; I feel as though it's less linear. And what a heck is up with that too?
I wouldn't call it "trouble letting go", though maybe it is. I don't feel it's always negative.
I don't have anyone who can answer these questions, so any insight is appreciated.
I have a similar problem, but it's not exactly what you're describing. I have a very strong memory, so I remember the exact details of conversations I have with people. People get pissed off or weirded out when I quote things they've said verbatim, because they don't remember it exactly themselves. So I've learned to pretend that I don't remember past interactions as well as I do. That, or I get stupid drunk so I don't remember anything. I'm more fun that way anyway.
I didn't know it for a long time but I seem to fit into borderline personality disorder. You can't hang on to words as though they hold much meaning, think of it like this, they will never know exactly what you are saying the moment you say it. It is all in code how we communicate, and I act like different people all of the time when portraying myself to them based off of who they are to me. I feel superior this way, but a lot of the time I feel real disgusting with myself for doing it. I always hold on to the past with anticipation for the future and that becomes the game, like that's the next thing for me to focus on and get involved in because it's the only thing in my life that's real and I have control. It's ego that makes you feel this way, don't hold on to guilt, and don't act like how you think they want you to act, most likely it's blown out of proportion and I do that sometimes we all do its a human response and defense mechanism for how we see ourselves. All of reality is inverted.
>>17365495
its late and I cannot type well forgive me.
So it turns out I have literally cuckolded someone.
Around two years ago, I met my best friends half sister (they'd been separated for over a decade). She had a finance at the time, but she broke up with him that day. We immediately began dating. Eventually we broke up because she suspected me of cheating on her with her brother (its a long story and
I posted it here at the time), and she goes back to her old fiance a few weeks later (he had been holding the torch and pining for her the entire time). The day before she started dating him, we fucked, then she told me she NEVER wanted to talk to me again.
Well, about eightish months later, she pops out a baby. She has dirty blond hair and blue eyes, and her man is a ginger with blue eyes. Kid has jet black hair, brown eyes, dark skin, and some other features I only could've gave it. It's obviously my kid, and the poor fuck doesn't suspect a thing.
Should I do ANYTHING? She wants nothing to do with me, won't answer my texts or calls other to tell me to stay out of it, and I can't see the child other than what her brother shows me. I've always wanted a kid one day, but this just feels strange. I don't mind chipping in, but she refuses and they're struggling. I don't have a problem chipping in, and I don't mind the finance, she just hates my guts.
Any advice guys? This isn't something I'm equipped to deal with. I've never wanted to be a deadbeat dad but I got no way around it. I would feel so fucked up if the kid shows up at my door years from now telling me I abandoned him.
>>17365417
She's not your woman to have. If you REALLY want this kid, some shared custody bullshit, get a lawyer. Otherwise, find your own woman.
Jfc that picture.
If I were you, I would write a letter every month about your feelings towards your kid. So when it comes knocking and tells you how you abandoned him/her you can give them the letters as a sign of affection. Explain why you weren't able to contact them, and the desire you had to do it and why you decided not to contact them in the end. Also, if you have the money, put up a fund and save money for your child. The least you can do is pay for their education if it comes to that, and I guess that way you can feel you did something for him/her. And if the mom changes her mind, well, then you already know where you can start collecting money from.
I'm going to make this at tl:dr as possible, but if I can't, I apologize.
I just recently broke up with a fiance that was emotionally abusive towards me, and at times, physically abusive.
Hes in the Army and has security clearances for things network/internet security related. He hacked into my email just recently which I made specifically to keep him out of (Because he's managed to hack into my shit prior, and after learned really fast not to trust him with my emails/passwords) my current email he absolutely under no circumstances should've been able to get into - yet he had. He used it to threaten me with, and hack into my Facebook with and deactivate it. I have proof he's done it, and I have proof of his less than kind words towards me.
I really don't want to be a cunt and get him in trouble, and I tried to be friends with him after our break up. (We broke up because I was done being used as a fucking doormat, and I was incredibly unhappy to the point of depression). But obviously that didn't work out, and he's resorting to these means to corner me into a wall, basically.
So what should I do, /adv/? I know a few of his friends from his company in the Army, and I can tell them what he's done with proof included (and I know for a fact they'll listen to me), and I could report him for this shit..but should I? What should I even do?
>>17365380
Report him. You idiot. You sound like every other abused woman who ever lived just fucking report him.
>>17365380
Damn the stockholm syndrome is strong as fuck.
Don't be a retard, OP. You need to report this. It's illegal. Do you really want to be responsible for every other woman he abuses because you were too much of a pussy to do anything about it?
>>17365400
I'm mostly wondering what the consequences will be if I report it, you know? But yes, I am aware I'm pretty idiotic and got a case of the retard syndrome in regards to this. I'm trying to change. Eh.
There was an assault in one of the rooms in the hotel i work at (im night audit only one here) cops are here dealing with it. I call the GM, right?
>>17365370
Are you the dude who was trying to get the register in the restaurant open or something last month?
>>17365370
yes, why is this even a question?
You in st louis county OP?
Ask some retard who can't get his own shit together for advice. That's me. I'll respond with what I've got.
So I was hooking up with my housemate for a bit. Then she broke my heart. So, I went on a trip to Colombia. I really haven't felt like sleeping with hookers here. I'm about to return to my home country (hookers too expensive there btw, and really not motivated by the girls that I can manage to get on dates usually). Should I meet up with my housemate? Or, should I avoid her? I promised her a postcard which I got, and want to give her. I can just slip it in her mailbox though. But, I also want to collect mail that was sent to our apartment I may not know about, and a tshirt with the Brazzers logo I sent there and she said arrived. Help :< She was the first person who kissed me who wasn't a prostitute. Wait no, first female that kissed me and wasn't a prostitute (I'm mostly into girls, but when my self esteem is low I sometimes go to gay/bi guys for validation).
Thanks in advance. I appreciate your honesty.
I just can't fucking stop blowing my money at the casino. I'll go a few weeks without going then I'll get a really strong urge, think what the hell and three hours later I've blown most of my paycheck.
How do I get off this ride?
>>17365337
Well, how'd she break your heart?
>have a really good friend
>both of us went through horrible ordeals with girls we loved last year
>promised each other to never let it get to us again
>this year end up liking the same girl at our new church
>he REALLY liked her
>but she REALLY liked me (she started dropping really obvious hints since the second time I spoke to her)
>told him go ask her out because it wasn't my thing to be asking girls out straight away especially if I see her every week anyway
>said to him if he tries and it doesn't work out, I'll try
>he tries
>only vaguely tells me about how he 'sort of tried' (wouldn't go into detail and accused me of probing him whenever I asked)
>starts dropping all the excuses in the world about how they weren't right for each other
>6 weeks past and he doesn't mention her at all >I ask her out
>she says yes
>3 weeks past and we (me and the girl) haven't met up yet but I tell him
>gets pissed angry like crazy
>ignoring me now
>other mutual friend says he's really down
What the hell do I make of this? Was I in the wrong?
No. Your friend needs to get over himself and over her.
However, you should have probably told him that she was dropping obvious hints instead of leading him to his own doom
>>17365315
I actually did. This was after 3rd week and I asked her out after about 6 weeks.
>>17365315
What he ended up telling me on the night I told him I asked her out was that they had things going on in the background and that they organised two dates weeks ago.
I ruined everything now by asking her out.
When I get horny, I arrange for gay guys to come over to suck my dick. Usually I come before that, get disgusted and cancel the meeting, or they suck me off and I feel disgusted too, yet it always happens again. How do I break the cycle?
Don't
>>17365303
oh thx, guess I won't then
Just fap instead of contacting those guys, it's unfair on them when you cancel.
I'm 20 M and still haven't gotten it in yet. I try, but the cards just haven't fallen in place for me yet I guess. But onward. I know people tell me I'm still young and that it's fine. I've heard of multiple guys not having sex until they were 23. But not too many stories after 23. Although if I did, I'd think that would be kind of weird. Is 23 the magic number? I think so. I just think a 24 year old virgin just sounds kind of sad. Idk. Either way, I'm not looking for tips on hooking up or dating. Just your opinions and stories on age and virginity would be appreciated. I try not to put the pussy up on a pedestal, but it's starting to get embarrassing being a virgin as I get older. Plus who doesn't want to fuck right?
>Implying I've lost the V-card
21, haven't lost it, had plenty of opportunities but chose not to
idk i guess i want to have it with someone i care about
17, hitted up a girl on fb and arranged to drive to her town by train, fucked her on the staircase of an appartament flat after a bottle of vodka, she was presumabely virgin
For the past month or two I've been playing dice with my coworkers. Usually I have some luck, and I'm able to walk away $20, even $50 heavier. Lately my luck has been shit, and I'm "lucky" if I can win one or two hands and break even, if one of those is a $5+ hand.
I really enjoy playing, though I would like better opponents someday (some of these dogs are annoying as hell), but it's good fun with lots of laughs. But I can't enjoy myself when I'm losing $10 to $40 a night. One of these pigs seems to find himself a nice heater most nights, walking with $80 to $100, and I have serious reservations playing with him. I just don't even feel lucky anymore.
What can I do to get my mojo back? I'm willing to humor some hocus pocus stuff here, methods that maybe have worked for you would be ideal. This set in particular shat on me this week and I'm tempted to chuck them in the river.
tl;dr How to gain luck?
Hooray for gambling addiction! Yay.
If you really want to gamble your money away, pick up Poker or something that has at least some skill involved.
Sick a horse shoe up your ass.
>>17365652
I'm only interested in dice.
