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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2188. page


How do you stop feeling lonely when dating is not an option?

I do have friends and a healthy social life, but not having a boyfriend still makes me scream internally.
58 posts and 2 images submitted.
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suicide usually stops the feeling of loneliness
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>>16480811
I can't do that. My family needs me.
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>>16480819
kill them too

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I'm 24 and I've never gotten really good at anything. I've never had any ambition to excel and I lament that fact but I don't really have it in me to change it; as it is I'm just kind of a jack of all trades and mater of nothing and it kind of eats me up inside.

Anybody else feel this way?

Pic unrelated
13 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Another bump
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I'm in the same boat. Everyone tries to encourage me by saying I'm good at shit like computer problems, when the reason is I spend hours on Google to fix something I fucked up.

I also fear if I do have a skill, it'll be in something that doesn't pay well enough for me to live on my own. Its got to the point where if anything asks me about a career/major I just lie about it.
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bump

Now even my friend has turned on me...I don't get why she would say something like this, making fun of me like I have a mental disease. What do I do at this point.
26 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16480722
See a therapist or something
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What is your disease? I have a lot of health problems myself and I am a female so I will try to help you best as possible.
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>>16480725
I don't want to talk to someone about my thoughts and I don't think I need it.

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Why are 40+ adults so oblivious to the high cost of college and national student loan debt? Also, how do I persuade my parents that economy has changed and that college may not be the solution?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Present them with the alternative. When they don't accept, do it anyway because that's the only way you'll be able to pay rent when they kick you out.
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>>16480676
Go to a trade school. Tell your parents that you know what you want and that a trade school suits you better and they will save money.
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what do you think is the solution? to work at mcdonalds for the rest of your life?

I'm in love /b/. What do I do? I don't know what to say to her to kick off a relationship. I know she at least somewhat likes me, but I don't completely know. She has been recently in a predicament with her parents. How do I comfort her. She knows that i like her but I think she is waiting for me to do something. Help...
>pic related, it's her.
23 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Op here. Wrong board tag. Need some advice...
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My advice is to not like fatties
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Leverage her daddy issues into becoming the new alpha of her life. She will become dependent on you so long as you insert yourself into the father figure role. Also in seriousness, just open with something like how's life treating you? Its harmless and opens discussion into her personal life

Is there any way to be friendly and loving toward pretty women without them being concerned that you're hitting on them (I'm planning on entering an Orthodox monastery down the road anyhow, so I'm certainly not looking for a relationship)? A lot of the time, when I smile or greet a pretty woman, she looks away and is aloof, presumably because she's worried that if she returns the friendliness, it will send the wrong message.

Is there any appropriate way to be friendly to pretty women while making it clear you aren't interested in them in a romantic way?
23 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Ask them how their day is and listen to what they say that is it.
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Is there any reason you are being friendly and loving towards them? Like are you friendly and loving towards ugly men as well?

If not then there's your answer

also
>interacting with women for other reasons than work or hitting on them
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>>16480518
>Is there any reason you are being friendly and loving towards them? Like are you friendly and loving towards ugly men as well?
Yes, I try to be toward everyone, especially the homeless. It's part of Christianity for me.

>Graduate highschool in NSW
>Get free piece of shit laptops
>Stoked because I'm poor af
>We got them in year 9 and got them unlocked and end of year 12
>TSO says go to this website and activate the software with your student number
>Otherwise microsoft won't work after a month without activation
>Try it, doesnt work, talk to mate of mine, he had same problem
>"You need this number that was imposed onto your desktop background that no longer exists once your laptop is unlocked"
>wtfdoIdonow.jpeg
>"Download anyone old windows registration key tool, It worked for me"
>Try several of these
>Spend hours uninstalling programs that have been installed without permission
>mfw have to buy windows, will cost all of this weeks pay (centrelink)
>Browsers no longer connect to the internet despite other programs working (utorrent)
>Can not even buy windows if I try, cannot even download more bullshit activation keys
>Option to enter a product key not even available anymore
>Today is last day of trial windows and I'm pretty fucked
Also I'm on my sister's macbook to post this (my browsers are fucked)
Any solutions? Anything I can do to atleast get my browsers back so I can atleast buy windows?
20 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Find local Linux guru group

Get Linux on your laptop

Browse away.
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Use a Linux distro for now. What's so critical about Windows?
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>>16480391
Pirate windows you fool

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I've had sex before but it doesn't feel as good as masturbation

So I'm wondering why people go on about sex like if they don't get enough of it it's a problem, can't they just masturbate?

Or maybe it's different when you have a vagina like I do, I don't know

I have such a high sex drive I masturbate multiple times a day and I used to think sex would be more satisfying but now that I've had it it's actually inferior
35 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Sex is only better than masturbation when you have feelings for the person you're with
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>>16480306
>year of our lord 2015
>being this fucking autistic
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>>16480306

Okay, let's try and break this down. How did it happen? How long did it last? Who were you having sex with? Were they experienced? Was there any foreplay?

There's a thousand and one reasons why your time could have been just bad.

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Hey adv, I need some help

I'm a twenty something girl, never been in a relationship. I have this friend, we know each other from the university, for more than a year now. He almost always initiates our conversations, and I was wondering if I should ever message him first? Even when we see each other in real life he starts the convo first (like, I would say hey first, but he starts talking and asking me qustions and telling how his day goes, etc)

I don't start convos with him because I just assume if he feels like talking, he would hit me up himself. But I like him so...

Anyway, what are some signs guy is into me? If we talk a lot is it good or normal?
26 posts and 2 images submitted.
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If he wanted to start the conversation he would start it. That says nothing about his openness to participating.

The only sign is if he asks you out. However the same is true the other way around. The only way for him to ever know of your interest is for you to ask him out.
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>>16480234
He asked me out but it was very unofficial and I don't think these were dates, but I don't know how normal date looks like.
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>>16480248
A date is when you do an activity together, talk while you're doing it and flirt. That last part is key. Unless you're exchanging innuendo, suggestive language, etc., it's not a date.

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I was talking to some guys at work about the new fallout I do not usually admit to others that gaming is a hobby of mine but I was really interested in their conversation. One of the guys called me a gamer girl which really frustrated me because I spend 20-60 hours a week when I am not working playing games. I told him that I do not want to be called that because gaming is a hobby of mine and that I want nothing to do with girls that call themselves that.

Should I just keep to myself again like I use to? It seems like people make assumptions as to what kind of games females like to play when I like to just play whatever game I enjoy. I had one of them hassle me the other day as to why I do not enjoy LoL and I told them that its too generic of a MOBA for me to enjoy and they responded with "oh you do not understand it?" And I told him yes I do understand LoL but if I had my choice of MOBAs it would not be LoL.
68 posts and 5 images submitted.
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but do you play as support?
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>>16480223
It sounds like you work with fags. Just tell people you game "sometimes" if it comes up. LoL is for plebs anyway, you shouldnt have to defend your decision not to play it
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>>16480245
I like to play assassin classes for stealth in any games I play. My weapon of choice is katars if I have the option.

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Is it possible to condition yourself into fearing sex by trying to comfort yourself by masturbating whenever you're anxious?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16480131

I'm not sure if I've read your question right, do you mean is it possible to condition yourself *not* to fear sex?
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>>16480134
>be me
>anxious often
>try to comfort by masturbation
>actively dislike sex
>what have I done
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Masturbation is a common and natural reaction to stress, boredom, and sleepiness, especially at a young age. Babies often use it as a self-soothing mechanism.

I've been masturbating since I can remember and still do when I'm feeling anxious, bored, or sleepy. I have no fearful feelings about sex.

I think those might be from something other than your masturbation.

Hey guys, femanon here with a small problem. no back story needed but I'm absolutely terrified of not being able to breathe. I hate wearing tight necklaces, having my throat touched, Adams apple touched, etc. problem is, my S.O's turn on in the bedroom is sort of wrapping his hand/s around my neck and squeezing. He seems to really enjoy it so for his sake, any ways to overcome this fear? I don't want to take away something that's a fetish just because it terrifies me...
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>tell him and take away his fetish
>get over your fear by masturbating to choking porn and developing your own fetish through positive reinforcement
>deal with the fear.

Pick your poison
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Baby steps. First it starts with touching your neck, then resting something over it (not wrapped), then loosely tying something around it, etc. Work your way up.
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>>16480064
>my S.O's turn on in the bedroom is sort of wrapping his hand/s around my neck and squeezing
Tell him no if you don't want to break down your weird boundary and possibly become another spousal abuse statistic if he ever loses control or ignores the safeword.

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Hey /adv/,
Looking for some help with this issue.
>Girlfriend and I very busy all the time
>Stress affects both of us intensely, high anxiety, depression, etc.
>My girlfriend grew up in a family that taught her, when you're upset/sad/etc that you need to hide it, distance yourself, be very private about it
>We are very much in love with each other and care a lot, this causes me to care infinitely about her and her happiness
>I can rarely get her to tell me what is wrong, and if she does tell me she wont let me help
>She won't accept any method of mine to help, she isn't at all affectionate and ignores me, she is even rude sometimes
>I fight to keep the strength to be there for her and accept all of this, and have already told her that her distancing takes a toll on me
>She says she tries to not be so distant, but I think its ingrained deeply in her
>This whole thing has just caused heart ache as I feel i'm alone in this relationship sometimes and the person I care about the most is suffering and wont let me help

How can I help this situation, my life is shit other then her, we have such strong love, and it's eating away at me when this happens as all this stress causes this frequently.
20 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16479993
Are you a lesbian couple? Cause you sound like a bitch.
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>>16480016
>loving someone truly
>gay
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>>16480021
>being so retarded you can't tell he was calling OP a woman

Is fwd really that bad? The guys are making fun of me for not being rwd, sometimes when I ask to tog or ral' they just beat me and leave.

I've been down since gf broke up with me for music addiction .

I'm newer than they are, if I work hard can I pass them and be better and more skilled even with fwd?

Thanks you guys have helped me before
42 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Guys?
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Say something I'm giving up on you
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>music addiction
lol

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Can someone explain confidence to me? As far as I can tell it is a myth. Confidence is just being stubborn/thinking you are right no matter what. I don't see anything wrong with alternative ways of thinking or thinking "I might be wrong about this" yet if you say this, people will say "just be confident"

There have been times where I was "confident" and truly believed things would work and they didn't. And vice versa. I don't understand how some people can stay determined or confident when to me it seems completely random. I have achieved things when I was sure they would fail. I can't delude myself long enough to believe my confidence is anything other than lost hope.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16479900
False hope *
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>>16479900
>Confidence is just being stubborn/thinking you are right no matter what
That's arrogance.
Confidence is feeling comfortable in any situation that life presents to you.
The opposite is insecurity.
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>>16479900
I don't know how to explain in OP but it's kind of just being sure of yourself and being comfortable with who you are. It takes some time to get to that point but I'm working my way towards it.

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