Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1919. page
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I am 26 and I feel like life has passed me by. I have never had a girlfriend and have no experience with women. I have been on dates but unfortunately they never lead anywhere and the woman always ends up saying something like "Its not you, its me, you are actually a really good guy." I don't really question them but god damn.. it sucks when you try and try and try and try and make it seemingly no where.
What can be done? At what age would a normal male have done all this? I know people who are 23 and are getting married and having kids already!
Can someone help? Like what is a adult male supposed to have done by now? It feels like a true handicap because my mind is just going crazy trying to conceptualize the act of a relationship. I try to imagine it... and I can't. It actually kind of hurts. Like if a girl kissed me right now, I would feel happy.. but in pain.
My emotions have fallen into disuse and now, emotions that were normally good.. make me feel like shit. Like joy? Joy makes me feel ill and like someone has a death grip in my trachea. Very strange concepts. Am I fucked up?
>>16616881
You're only fucked up if you believe yourself to be. Don't fall into the circular logic pit of hell that is "overcompensating for lost time".
>>16616891
but how is it not lost time? What girl is going to want to fuck a 26 year old male with NO EXPERIENCE with women. I don't even want to have sex that badly but I do want to experience intimacy.
>>16616950
It's only a problem if you're a complete autist about it. My friend dated a 27 year old who was painfully bad with women, she broke it off with him because he only ever talked about himself and never took an interest in her life. They had a ton of shit in common and she thought he was attractive enough, he was just pretty autistic
How do you start a conversation and get a date on Tinder? I have almost 350 matches but never send any messages because I don't know what to say. I just want to get coffee and fuck.
That's so easy. Just say hey and compliment their pictures and profile. Small chat and ask if they're free for a cafe at a time you are.
>>16616877
Look at their profile. Take a little bit of that surface information to start a conversation that way. Make a joke. Tease her a little.
>>16616877
You must be really interesting
I'll do my best to formulate a post that's intelligible and coherent, but there's a lot on my mind tonight. I feel adrift.
I'm 28 and I'm currently at an impasse in my life. I'm fortunate in that I'm employed--I have a nondescript office job at a university--as I know many people my age, some younger and some older that are less fortunate circumstances. For instance, my best friend graduated college cum laude from a prestigious university and he hasn't had a job since, save for temp work. He's thinking of going to medical school but, he has Low-Testosterone and it poses all sorts of life problems for him. I am not without my own health problems, however.
Without further ado, I feel like I have somehow lost myself since graduating high school and somewhere in college I became a lesser facsimile of myself. In effect, I am lost and I am stuck.
I can feel this post drifting into that typical existential angst/despair post you see late at night. I won't try to blame external factors for my life's situation. I just don't feel my life should be this way. I haven't been derelict in my choices and I have tried to be attentive to my decisions as possible. Here are some questions that come to mind...
>How does one find one's life's work?
>How does one earn a happy life?
>Are middle-class aspirations dead? Home-ownership? Marriage? A family? A yearly vacation?
>How does one find oneself?
>>16616821
>How does one find one's life's work?
>How does one find oneself?
do a bunch of different things that interest you until you find one that you have a natural aptitude for. it may take a while, but it worked for me
>>16616839
Please, do tell me more about your process and how you found yourself.
I've thought about going back to school to try my hand at becoming a college professor, but that's like playing in the NBA anymore. Shit's not easy.
There's this super cute girl I'm friends with and I'm not sure how or if I can hook up with her.
When I was in an open relationship, we became friends and she said she'd be down to hook up "after for time (she had just broken up with her boyfriend) and only if my current girlfriend was okay with it." That never happened because my girlfriend wasn't cool with it.
Then she told me she'd leave her boyfriend if only she had a rebound or someone she knows and is comfortable with to partner up with (a hint at me?).
Now I'm single, I rekindled our friendship. We drank at my house the first time we hung out again. She had her legs across me and kept making jokes about "setting the mood" and cheating on her boyfriend, and even called me hot. Later she asked to sleep in bed with me so we cuddled all night. I didn't make a move because I'm super beta. We hung out a second time and the same thing happened, but this time I threw up that night and couldn't make a move.
Since then, she isn't as touchy or flirty with me, and when we drink, she never stays over (even though there's only been like 2 occasions since then).
We went to a club the other night and started to make out for like a few seconds while dancing. But then I went in again a few minutes later and she kind of backed off.
Did I lose my window of opportunity or is there still a chance?
>>16616818
>There's this super cute girl I'm friends with
>>16616824
not op but why did you greentext this
>>16616818
window of opportunity gone
trust me op, i missed many because im a beta faggot i know when its over
I don't know why I'm posting this here.
I live in an expensive city with my mother, I pay rent. We share an apartment where we have lived for 24 years. She has a decent job but the city is expensive so she doesn't have much in savings, and my parents divorced when I was little and she has no spouse.
I've been living with her to save money to move to another city for work, but her memory is starting to go already which is scary because she's only mid 60's. If I leave, she will wind up in some shitty low income retirement home, so I'd rather stay, and continue to split rent with her. If this is the case though that's basically my life for the next 30 years. I will have to give up on my career I already have a degree in and go back to school to become a dental hygienist or something. But to do that and pay the rent I will have to take out another round of student loans. Just feeling very desperate right now.
Don't punish yourself for the mistakes of your parents.
You need to do as much as you can without fucking yourself over. If she is getting senile as you claim she will at some point need professional help, so you will have to put her in a home despite how amazing you may think you can be at managing the mentally deranged.
>>16616813
do you have friends/a girlfriend/other family?
You shouldnt go through this alone, because taking care of your aging mother can be a big burden.
Why do you feel you have to get a different degree?
>>16616843
I'm going to be crucified for this...I went to a prestigious art program at a good university. If I stay in my city I am too far away from the industry to make a career of it.
I have friends. Haven't had a girlfriend in 4 years. Went bald in the last 9 months; girls 3 years younger than me think I'm ancient and girls my age are starting to get married. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself now but I'm terrified of this impending isolation closing in on multiple fronts. I can't let my mom be senile in a strange nursing home.
I should mention that my dad is pretty well off but none of his money will be going my mom's way.
Thanks for listening and replying.
>cook pork chop for the first time on new george foreman
>few hours later my stomach hurts like fuck
I realize this is an odd place to ask, but stupider things have been posted.
Is it safe to take ibuprofen? I think I have food poisoning.
>>16616779
it could be psychosomatic
if you believe you actually have food poisoning you should go to a doctor though
Always cook port until it is white clear through. There must be no blood visible in the juice.
>>16616779
if it's food poisoning it won't last more than 24 hours, you should take a massive dump at some point and immediately feel better. if it's like a stabbing type pain that continues for more than 48 hours you should seek a doctor
pepto bismal would be better than ibuprofen at this point
How do you convince yourself that life is worth living?
How do you restore your interest in living?
I have started things that I need to finish.
My desire to live is entirely selfish.
>>16616778
checking out in your 20's an 30's is very premature, you'd be surpirsed how quickly life can change over the course of a year even if nothing ever seems to change.
it's this time of year that I like to reflect on where I was at this time last year and it usually does amaze me how many things in my routine have changed. everyone struggles with this, and for me keeping my mind busy helps tremendously and makes me feel accomplished.
if the movie still sucks when you turn 50 or 60 I don't think anyone will blame you for ending it
I'd recommend that you read Eckhart tolle: the power of now. Being is all the meaning you need. Seeking meaning outside yourself is only part of happiness
>Alcohol isn't going to solve it
>driving off isn't going to solve it
>sex isn't going to solve it
Better question is why are people so stupid to try to solve a problem by creating other problems? No self control?
>>16616767
I'd say they lack the cognitive ability
Read Flowers for Algernon
Depends what the problem(s) is
I run from mine because I've not found a solution in 10 years
>>16616767
its often easier to run, in a short term sense. most have either forgotten or never learned how to play the long game.
Can I subsist on 1 or 2 hours of sleep a night and if so how? There arent enough hours in a day.
>>16616754
You know the CIA uses sleep deprivation as a form of interrogation
Its not a good idea
If you don't go to sleep you will literally go insane and die
Yes but your risk of cardiac troubles increases ridiculously, you'll feel tired, may hallucinate, fall asleep sitting, etc.
>>16616754
It isn't worth it, man.
You work much more efficiently when you're well rested, well fed, and healthy.
A person who eats healthy, exercises regularly, and sleeps 7 hours a night will be infinitely more productive than a person who only sleeps 4 hours a night.
Don't work harder. Don't work more often. Learn how to manage your time more efficiently and you'll find out how much of it you really have.
Right now I am going to school to be a ESL teacher, which I realize is not going to make very much money. I am also doing linguistics, but I am not going to grad school so I don't know how useful I will be.
Is it possible to go back to school and try to go to a vocational school or maybe even try for med school after a few years out of college?
I just feel like I got on the wrong track, but I really want to at least follow through with my Bachelor's and teaching certificate first.
>>16616727
Why dont you try translation and interpretation? I feel is the lingüistics related career that pays well and all you need is to learn a couple of languages.
Can someone estimate my height?
>>16616719
6 feet.
>>16616719
5'11"
5 foot and seven inches Maximum
I want to learn to create OC and dank memes.
Where should I even start? I had a general interested in art in junior school but really nothing after that. I haven't drawn in ages. Should I start messing with photoshop, follow tutorials and take basic lessons in art?
>>16616704
s4s
If all you want to do is memes do mspaint scribbles.
If you want to get good at art pirate Loomis books and practice 8 hours every day for 4 years.
hey /adv/ what is the best way of reading books for free?
>>16616644
Library
>>16616644
or that mystical place called the public library
>>16616646
>>16616647
Oh cool thanks
Hey /b/ I'm pretty bummed out right now and just want someone to talk to. I know it's Christmas and New Years time but my 29 year old sister just called and talked some pretty depressing shit. Not only did she get a divorce from her husband of 9 years, but she got an abortion because not only is she stressed (which already isn't good for the baby) but she's taking shit tons of medicine for her physical health + depression that aren't supposed to be taken while pregnant. She didn't want a child right after her husband divorced her, and she didn't want to go through painful child birth just to hand it over to adoption, and she really didn't even want to give birth to it in the first place since she was under so much stress and taking all these medicines that would fuck her child up mentally and physically. The fetus isn't supposed to feel pain until 11 weeks and she was estimate 8 or 9. She went through with an abortion and yet a lot of her friends are saying it was a wrong decision and even my (very conservative) mom is pissed. Literally me and my dad are the only people who support her decision and have been talking to her daily. Her husband is keeping the house since it's in his name and she is moving from the house to an apartment by herself elsewhere. Do you guys support her decision? Or not? I believe it was right because it helped her move on and gave her some peace, and I believe it also was in the baby's favor considering all the problems it would've had. but I guess pro-lifers support all life no matter it be a normal life or one with mental/physical problems. What do you guys think?
>>16616640
I'm what would be called very conservative. Your sister didn't do anything wrong. She's not well and is single. How do you think the kid would turn out? Would she love it and be able to give 100%?
One of the several instance when abortion is acceptable is when it's a health risk to the mother.
Suppose your sister flipped and killed the baby when it was months old? Everybody would be more upset.
She's not some psycho killer but I get your point
I just noticed in the first sentence I said /b/ instead of /adv/ whoops my bad
I'm gonna be brutally honest. I think I molested my little niece. I feel like a disgrace , a failiure among many other other things. It wasn't penetration, but I was grbabbing at her crotch area. She thought I was just trying to tickle her , so no harm was done but what if I do something worse? I'm highschool age , so I have time to get better but what if I don't? Suicide seems like the best choice now, I'd be a disappointment to my entire family.
>>16616626
I don't get it. You got an uncontrollable urge and just started pawing at her crotch out of the blue then stopped?
>>16616636
No I got a hard on cause, well usually just being around her does that, and I starts feeling her up and stopped cause I relaized what I was doing
Well, just don't do that in the future.
