Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1253. page
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Where else do I go but here, /adv/?
I fucking hate the person this place is turning me into. Nobody likes cynical and bitter. I'm trying to cut everywhere but /co/ and /wsg/ out if my life but I find myself wanting to come back here again and again. where else can I go? I seek answers and advice in my life but with all other outlets (friends) I feel like I'm being lied to. Is there anywhere similar but not as cancerous?
>>16938772
I mean this with all sincerity, maybe Reddit? The predominant anonymity here makes it easier for people to be dicks, or just come here to troll. And all of our trips here are trolls.
I agree that /adv/ is pretty negative these days, so I just try to stick to giving advice.
>>16938792
I browse(d) both reddit and 4chan. Trust me, reddit is almost just as bad. There's nowhere you can go for general advice like there is here, so it makes dealing with semi-complex stuff a hassle. Plus, a lot of them, especially the top comments, tend to be blue-pill but highly appealing type answers. Not even blue pill in the traditional sense, just naive and not critical of the situation.
I feel like I want the truth, but without having experiences to back it up I can't tell who's lying to me or not, even in real life.
Over the last five months I've asked six different guys out:
Guy 1. Told me he was already seeing someone. My personal mistake for not knowing, but it still hurt a lot.
Guy 2. Friend of G1, G1 tried to set us up. Guy 2 liked me a lot and we talked/flirted for a week, I put off asking him out until exactly a week after we'd met because I didn't want to scare him off by moving too quickly. On the day I planned to ask him out he met someone else and made out with her right in front of me. They're still dating to this day.
Guy 3. We were friends a few months before I asked him if he wanted to come with me to an exhibition. He kept coming up with excuses and eventually just stopped texting me.
Guy 4. I met him on Tinder. We really clicked, he told me I was very attractive, a week after talking I asked him if he wanted to meet up any time, he said no.
Guy 5. I met him at a party, my friend told me he'd been checking me out all night. We talked a while and then he left. I texted him a week later telling him I had fun hanging out with him, and would he like to catch up sometime. He read the message but never replied.
Guy 6. Again, Tinder. He was really gorgeous and he told me he was just interested in a hookup (at the time, so was I). We agreed to meet up on a certain day but he never showed.
I don't know what to do anymore, I feel as if I shouldn't even bother trying because it just never works out for me. What am I doing wrong? I'm attractive by conventional standards (skinny, symmetrical face, slightly curvy, long hair) and I've been told I'm pretty by a lot of different people. Personality-wise, I've spent a lot of time alone so I've developed at least my own passions and interests. I don't know what I'm doing wrong here. :(
>>16935545
You seem to be going after guys the only care about sex
>>16935545
Bad luck by the sounds of it. I wouldn't worry too much. If you are a decently attractive woman with nothing particularly wrong with you then you probably have just been unlucky.
I mean maybe you are going for extremely attractive men who have lots of girls interested in them so you are getting cut out. But if its even Tinder hookups that are not working out then probably you have just been unlucky.
>>16935545
> but it still hurt a lot.
Can you stop being a cry baby? he was taken. Why in the fuck are you taking that personally? What do you expect him to do - cheat? I mean really woman, c'mon.
>I put off asking him out until exactly a week after we'd met because I didn't want to scare him off by moving too quickly.
Soooo you liked someone.... and had a good time with him... and then arbitrarily decided to "wait a week" out of some misplaced high school bullshit about "mandatory waiting periods" ? No. Just... no.
>They're still dating to this day.
So you should be happy for him finding someone he clicks with?
>He kept coming up with excuses and eventually just stopped texting me.
He sounds like a pussy. He should just have said no and that he doesn't feel for you like that. That ones on him. It happens, let it go and move on.
>a week after talking I asked him if he wanted to meet up any time, he said no.
That one is interesting. but again, if he says no, move on.
>I don't know what I'm doing wrong here. :(
We're not internet psychologists, but human interaction is pretty tricky. You could be loud and annoying. You could be one of those women who doesn't know how to shut the fuck up and and listen. Who knows? You should ask your girlfriends that are close to you. Chances are they know but perhaps are too afraid to tell you the truth because you obviously get hurt over literally nothing.... in fact... that could be it right there. No one likes a glass person for a girlfriend who shatters at a rock.
Hey, I need /adv/ice. My girlfriend (we'll call her "Ashley") and I have been in a happy relationship for a year and a month. We started dating when I was 17 and she was 16. We had sex at this time. Now I'm 18 and she's 17. Her mom wants to charge me with "corruption of a minor" for having sex with her. It has always been completely mutual, she even would get on top of me and unzip me pants while saying, "I want your cock inside of me." Is there any legal standing she would have?
Thank you for even reading.
Also I live in PA if that helps with legal stuff.
no, she is just a dumb cunt. don't worry.
Her mother's not going to be able to do anything if the 'victim' isn't on board
>>16938872
We had sex at her mom's house. Does that mean a difference?
Is there any point to talk to girls like this ?
They know they're hot and want great (semi wealthy and incredibly handsome) men.
Should you just forget about them and keep living your life ?
Only if youre ok with a girl who thinks guys piling attention on her is normal and ok behavior
It requires more to target people with a certain look, it's not so hard if you meet them organically. You'll probably want to have an education or at least something going for you though, no one wants to live in a cesspit.
dat ass
I need some /adv/.
I'm an anti social neet who just moved to a huge city because of work, but i don't know a single soul, my question is.
How do i go about making friends.
meetup.com?
Even meetup.com won't help if you don't talk to anyone. Take a job at a call center, at least part time, if possible. That way you're in the habit of talking a lot. Spend a lot of time outside your place, looking for where people hang out, and small talk with anyone who looks interesting. If the person is cool, they'll go beyond the minimum effort small talk.
>>16938052
>I'm an anti social neet who just moved to a huge city because of work
>neet who just moved to a huge city because of work
>neet
>work
Sup guys, I always come to 4chan when going through personal issues, and most of the time you guys actually give me some great advice. So today, I got another girl problem. Wooooo
Met this chick on tinder late December, just after Christmas. She's a hardcore memer, plays video games I like, is funny, and cute as fuck. She's just pleasant and we have a lot of common interests. When we first started hanging out, I was just getting over a break up, and told her up front I'm not looking for a relationship right now, so we would just hook up and hang out.
After a few times we've hooked up, she texts me and asks about us, and pretty much wanted to know if we were dating, same answer as before, she didn't seem to mind much. But we kept hanging out, and after a couple of weeks, I realized I liked her a lot, and I told her that I was hoping we could possibly still become an exclusive relationship. She was very happy about it, and told me the night we were texting and I said I wasn't interested, she almost got really mad at me, but waited it out because she liked me.
We officially were dating as of Valentine's day. Last weekend, we were hanging out, and I fucked up badly. When I'm with girls, I'm always very open about how I feel, and I get comfortable very fast. I fell for this girl hard, and I told her I loved her, we've known each other for 3 months.
To soften the cringe for you guys, you have to know she's told me some very intimate things. She's been with other guys, has had sex before, the average stuff for a girl. She's told me I bring out a feeling in her that she's never felt before. She's only dated drug addicts and sketchy fuckers, and this was confirmed to me by her parents, who also really like me because I'm not a sketchy fucker or a drug dealer. So even though I did drop a pretty big bomb, she's told me things very similar, and even though it was a mistake, I took the jump and hoped it would be ok.
I told her it's ok if she didn't feel the same way, and that I just felt the need to tell her because she's honestly the best relationship I've had with a girl. She told me it was ok, and I didn't do anything wrong. She told me she understands you can't choose how fast you feel things, and we kept hanging out. We even started fucking around, and almost had sex that night, but we were afraid of waking up her parents who were upstairs. So everything was seemingly fine even after I dropped the bomb.
4 days pass. She keeps being short with me. "Wanna hang out" is met with a "no, busy". We hung out a lot, but I wasn't freaking out cause we're both in college, I know she isn't free all the time, it's common sense. What is weird is that she's being short, and isn't talking to me at all like she normally would, even if we weren't hanging out.
She likes all the Mario and Luigi RPG games, so I bought her Paper Jam and asked if I could just drop it off to her with my old 3DS as a surprise for her. "Busy tonight, maybe tomorrow," "I'm not home, tomorrow," "yeah just do it tomorrow." It was obvious that a mixture of that, and her not talking to me was a bad sign.
I asked her if everything was ok, she said no. She then told me she wasn't sure if she wanted to be in a relationship. I got really anxious and scared, and was trying to talk to her and find out why. She told me I was taking this way too seriously and told me we'll talk about it later.
I don't think my reaction was unfair. We were doing fine, and even with me making it that mistake, she told me she understood and it was ok, and even when we were texting she told me I didn't do anything wrong. But it had been days without talking to me, and then without any hints she dropped that on me.
Next day I'm anxious as fuck. Me and some homies go to a skate park, but I end up just sitting down cause I'm too anxious and scared and can't stop thinking of her. She calls me, and breaks up with me over the phone. I wouldn't accept it though. I've been rejected and broken up with before, but this was the first time I've felt the urge to not give up on her, I really fucking like her.
In short, she told me I was taking the relationship too seriously, and the fact I told her I loved her made her uncomfortable. I told her that it's totally fair if that's how she feels, and that we can take things slow, I told her I'm willing to try and make it work. But she said that's "not how she works" and that she can't be with me knowing how I really feel. When I tried talking to her she got more and more upset, and told me she had already made up her mind.
Its been 2 days, haven't talked to her since, I'm afraid of only making her more angry. I messaged her gay best friend and told him everything that happened, he seems like a total bro and told me he's gonna try talking to her. Idk when that's gonna happen though.
I honestly think she's just scared to open up. She had anxiety problems, and she's in NA right now for substance abuse, and she attempted suicide a bit before we started talking. Every person she's dated was a shit head, and I honestly think she's just afraid of opening up and being hurt by someone again. I don't believe we could've gone from being so fine to her leaving me so quickly, it doesn't make sense.
Maybe I'm just grasping at straws though, I just know I don't want to give up on her. What do you think guys? Any advice?
bump, im desperate here guys.
Help me /adv/, I think I have fallen for a slut.
I probably am gonna get cucked If I ever date her, because she's easy as fuck to fool around with, but aside from that I admire her so much as a person that it seems impossible not to love her. What should I do?
>>16937580
>Falling in love with somebody that you have never even dated
Never wait this long to make a move ever again. I used to make this mistake all the time, but making moves whenever you are even somewhat interested in somebody works out much better than someone who you are very interested in, simply because of the possibility that it won't work out and doing this will spare you the emotional backlash of being rejected by someone you have strong feelings for
>What should I do?
Talk to her and ask her out. If you get rejected, follow the instructions under the first line in the future.
>>16937580
Are you the same OP who asked for tips on dirty talk yesterday?
>>16937580
I fell for a slut too
I would prefer her to not have been a slut but her personality is so perfect that it makes me not care
I hope she doesnt cheat on me and if she does I'll have to move on but if she doesnt then I can deal with it
I'm 24 years old and I feel like every girl I meet is really shitty in some way or another. They all either end up being dumb/trashy/slutty or too shy/boring personality.
Where the fuck is the middle ground? I just want a cute girl that doesn't fuck on the first date, has a brain and a conscience, and has interests/goals in life
>>16937451
We're taken by nice, normal guys.
>>16937451
>I'm 24 years old and I feel like every girl I meet is really shitty in some way or another
>24 years old
Anon the ones worth having as gfs all settled before that.
so yeah this
>>16937455
>>16937467
to expand on that, don't go for girls your own age. Just fwb/ons them but other than that they're mostly a waste of time and energy.
I made a joke during a game of cards against humanity that was related to a humorous topic my gf considers off-limits, which resulted in being given the silent treatment. Thoughts?
What topic
"It time, this too shall pass"
Do not back down
You could apologise and avoid conflict, but with that you're limiting your humor to her standards. Can you rationalise that with yourself?
What do you think of people who cut themselves?
>>16936549
That they're unstable
Extremely insecure, possibly suicidal, mostly depressed.
I couldn't imagine doing that to myself but then I've never been in particularly bad circumstances. I just hope these people get some decent help.
Hey guys long story short my dad caught me smoking weed and basically punched me on the chest, shoulder and stomach a couple of times. It didn't affect me at all since I do kickboxing so I'm used to it.
I'm just wondering what options I have since I don't really want to beat the shit out of my dad since I am 110% sure I would win.
Dont Beat ur dad. Its a disgrace.
>>16936310
beat the shit out of him. you have as much of a right to hit him as he has a right to beat you.
If it ever happens again if you're down for it just threaten that you'll call child support or some shit.
yo this bitch hit me up on a dating website on an account i made years ago and anyway long story short she sent me a bunch of nudes and then ended up FUCKING HIRING ME because she's the boss of some place so anyway i got hired and im making money and shit but as soon as i started working there she stopped being my bitch and just started being a FUCKING BITCH in general like a real fucking cunt and it makes me want to slap her in the fucking mouth every single god damn day but i can't because shes my fucking boss and she doesn't even act like she likes me anymore and i never even got to fuck her even though i still want to. after she hired me she went from being on my fucking dick sending me nudes every day to being a fucking retarded cunt so what should i do. like in general. i dont want to quit because of the money but i want to choke her and fuck her in the ass in public in the middle of the store and spit on her while im shoving her stupid fucking cunt face in the ground but i can't so what else should i do
Keep doing your job and find some time to hang out with her and hate fuck her, because that's what it sounds like she wants
and start looking for another job without this weird conflict of interest (unless the money is really that good, which I doubt it is)
kick her in the clit
>>16936309
>>16936309
>>16936309
it's the most money I've ever made at any job by far and it's not even very hard to do so i have to keep it. but whenever I try to hang with her she declines because either she just hates me for no fucking reason now or she works 50-70 hours a week
Why is suicide such a pain without a gun?
I live in a country without guns.
- There's nothing good to OD on
- Hanging has a low success rate
- Self mutilation/exsanguination has a low success rate
- Traffic suicide is selfish as all hell
- Suicide by cop isn't going to happen
- Exit bags are getting banned and helium diluted
A gun would be simple. Point and click, problems gone.
>>16935860
You don't have to use helium for an exit bag. Go to any welding supply and buy a bottle of argon "for your MiG welder".
>>16935860
Where exactly do you live OP?
>>16935878
Didn't know you used argon for welding.
Also need to get the bag part of the exit bag, and apparently surgical masks don't always fit properly.
>>16935882
In a country so depressing that muting suicide options is a valid tactic in keeping the working population alive.
//affection in male friendship
Man-to-man, how you best express affection and respect to a dude you're close friends with?
Especially if he's older and is kind of a guide for you
>>16934451
he knows bro...he know's
>by passionately kissing them on the mouth
Seriously though, I'm pretty sure men can hug each other, OP.
So I've decided to call these threads a night thread
Starts from 11pm to 7am
You can tell by the pic that I am still continuing.
ASK YOUR QUESTION AND YOU WILL GET AN ANSWER.
How do I?
Am I too emotionally reliant on my friends?
Reposting from ask the opposite gender thread:
I desperately need a reality check. I can't tell anymore if i am lost in really paranoid thoughts or if i am blatantly ignoring red flags with my bf.
>ldr. He is away for school and is behaving fishy when there
>he goes out partying with his coke-consuming friends once every weekend (he's the designated driver and i think he doesn't take any drugs)
>has weird female friend that seems to cross the line on a few things
>sometimes ghosts on me with lame excuses
>tells me often that "i am too good for him"
>when we meet we just stay in and t basically fuck till we fall asleep
On the other hand he is the sweetest guy ever
>has planned a get-away for us in a few weeks so we can spend some more time just the two of us
>is very thoughtfull, attentive and lovely
>makes me random small gifts or hides cute notes when he's over
>frequently tells me he loves me to bits and all that shabang
I can't tell anymore if i am in for a pumpy ride or if i am sabotaging this myself by being so suspicious
![k34ivu3rk93rmju5soog[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/ZnxEH8M.png "k34ivu3rk93rmju5soog[1]")
