Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 362. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 362. page
i'll start off this by saying i've /practically/ made up my mind, however, i am open to input. I've already talked to my parents and sister about this, and they have been supportive, but have not given an answer, only a summarized: "we'll support whichever decision you make" so i need some outside input
TL;DR: girlfriend of 2 years started hanging around with guy i don't like. i tell her constantly to not hang around him, talk to him, etc. she goes to his house during the day, gets raped. she has filed charges, and is continuing on, she wants my support, i'm not really with it. contemplating leaving her
>dating for two years
>love her
>we build, etc
>few months ago, she meets guy in class
>think nothing of it
>they start talking more
>i dont cosign, tell her cut it out
>she deliberately ignores me
>i assume shes enamored with him
ok, ive flirted with girls while with her, so i cant say much
>tell her to cut it out one final time
>she doesnt listen
>last month, she hangs at his house (for whatever reason)
>later that evening she tells me she was raped by him
>look of disgust on my face
>i try to hide it as soon as possible
>no hug, just back pats
>tell her i love her etc, itll be okay
>im absolutely mad at her all this time
>she hasnt said much about where they are with the case
i dont care either
>she comes to me recently saying how glad she is to have me, is grateful for my support, blah blah
>dont care, just want to leave her
>i just cant get over the the fact she didn't listen
i know i cant control her, but its like what the hell
i dont even look at her the same anymore, just need input or something, also i dont think shes a whore or anything, but i cant cosign her deliberately ignoring me and then having this happen because i feel it'd happen again
>>17272056
Bro you're literally getting cucked. She's cheating on you and using the rape as an excuse. After a few more weeks she's gonna start hanging with him again and is going to use some bullshit excuse as to why it's okay she's seeing him.
Point is she never got raped, she has consensual sex with him and is lying to you like the slut she is.
Dump her before you waste anymore time, effort and money on her than you already have. You fucked up enough by staying with her after all this.
Even by some slim chance she did actually get raped, she didn't listen to you. Telling her not to hang out with a guy ALONE while she has a boyfriend is not controlling. She should listen to you on this as you should listen to her on things like this. I doubt you'd hang out with a girl alone?
Get the fuck out of her life before she ruins yours even more.
>>17272056
you are correct, op
this is a tough situation, and moralfags will no doubt chastise you for even thinking about leaving her. but you know the truth- a good woman would not have even maintained contact with this guy, let alone put herself in a position to be "raped". i put that in quotes because there is no way to know if she is only pressing charges in an attempt to keep you around. for all you or i know, she initiated the sex and then was overwhelmed by guilt afterward. add to all that, that she has been fucked by another man. for me, there is no redemption from that. if she were actually raped and it was proven, the only way i would stay with her would be if she provided me all of the guys personal info and watched as i laid vengeance upon him. even then, i dont know if i could continue a relationship with her, because it was her own questionable choices that led her to this situation.
>>17272056
Some rapists will groom girls by pretending to be nice at first (including consensual sex) and then lure them into a false sense of comfort and surprising them with rape. If she's filing charges she's probably serious about it.
I have only a little friends and I am constantly talked shit about by a certain person to everyone and everyone thinks i'm a scumbag because I didn't speak up against the rumors. I have some social anxiety and i blurt out autistic shit all the time. Said person is a complete shithead and he is one of the more popular people around, so next to noone really believes me. Wat do?
>>17272046
Well, learn to think before you speak, that's going to help you in the long run.
But also fuck rumors, and fuck them. If anyone tells you something about yourself, just tell them it isn't true and get on with your life.
Some people just need a scapegoat for their own issues so they create issues and spread rumors about someone for other people to talk about.
But for real at least get to know someone before calling them a shithead or whatever.
>>17272098
Actually OP, re read your post and realized that same person you called a shithead was the same guy spreading the rumors.
So basically you're not wrong calling him a shithead if he's making shit up unprovoked.
Just ignore it and spend time with people who aren't shirty.
>>17272111
OP here, not trying to argue, but many people have the same opinion of him being a shithead. Most people are just friends with him because he's rich and only that. No one actually likes him for his personality as far as i know. Also, he has a temper that is extremely small and flips his shit at the smallest things and he talks shit about everyone, even HIS friends. I've been looking to get more social and he's a mayor obstacle because everyone has a bad opinion of me because of him so it's hard to make friends and he just doesn't stop.
Am I wrong to feel hurt?
>birthday was the 5th
>was way for 2 weeks for work
>comeback, no gifts, no cake, nothing
>I live with my parents
>I spent 100 dollars on fathers day gifts for my day
I guess I'm supposed to accept it since I'm 20 now and I did get some birthday text messages.
>>17271979
Some families are just like that, sadly, but you may want to consider talking to one or both parents just to be sure that nothing's in the works for your birthday or that something else is going on...
For what it's worth, happy belated birthday out there! I hope that things only get better from here on!
>get gifts
>nothing I wanted
>tfw
>>17271979
:( sorry OP
When I was in HS i invited my "friends" to go paint balling. None of them brought me a present, and they kind of ignored me. It was pretty embarrassing, because my parents and some other family was there, and they all got to see what a loser I was.
hooked up with alt / ratchet / punk friend of a friend, losing my virginity to her. I can't stop thinking about her, feel fluttery and hot and awkward whenever I see her. Ask my friend if I should ask her out, my friend tells me shes not the kind of girl a nice guy like me should date... that I should leave it at I lost my virginity and thats it... but I can't. Meet up with her again to hang out... she blows me by a river near a walking trail... I ask her out and she tells me shes no good and I should just enjoy what shes doing.
The more time I spend with her, the more I like her though, not just the sex, everything about her... I don't know what to do, shes driving me crazy... Shes really fucked up, but I can't help it, I want her so badly... my friend keeps telling me to stay away from her, she even says she regrets getting me involved with her... but I don't want to stay away.
Whats wrong with me? Why would my friend want me to stay away so badly? I'm so confused.
You should listen to them both, you're more or less something new for her, a *good* boy, something interesting for a while. Fuck as much as possible, when it ends if you're still in pain get proper drunk with a nasty hangover but don't do stupid shit like calling her.
>>17271911
Do I keep hooking up with her? I don't know why my friend says shes so fucked up. Shes weird, partially shaved head, piercings, weird make up and clothes. But shes really nice, at least shes always been nice to me, I'm not very good sexually and literally everything me and this girl have done has been embarrassing for me but when we hang out shes always enthusiastic. She seems to like spending time with me, but doesn't want to be in a relationship, she acts like shes protecting me from herself and its aggravating... my friend seems almost angry I keep hooking up with her, and I just don't understand any of it.
>>17271928
Oh for God's sake do NOT stop fucking her holy shit. Your future girlfriends will thank you.
I'm tired of this. It's gonna be 9 fucking months since she left me, and I still feel like shit. I mean, I'm okay, I was feeling very bad for like a month, and I started to go forward, made friend, dated another girl for a few weeks, etc.
But still, the thought of her makes me feel like shit. She left me for a good reason, because I fucked up (I don't really want to tell the whole story on here), and I still have regrets, I still remember how we used to feel great together. Now, she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. And I can't even be mad at her: that's her right. But, I have to be honest: I kind of miss her.
Am I just supposed to feel like this? How to I get over it?
>>17271859
ur supposed to feel bad for awhile. and that awhile can be quite awhile.
i fell in love with soemone i never even dated. its been two years and every time a certain song shows up on my iphone i have to immediately skip it and my heart sinks and i get all sad.
so if you actually dated her and had a real relationsihp, im sure the feelings can run a lot deeper, last longer and still hurt.
maybe you'll never get entirely over it. btu that doesnt mean you cant compartmentalize the feelings.
Damn. It's painful. I feel great mostly, but sometimes the thought of her and the regrets hit really hard and I find myself listening to dark ambient in my room, not wanting to see anyone.
>>17271938
I was answering to u >>17271870 obviously
i have gotten more and more gay recently
i really dont want to be a faggot how do i fix myself
im going to kill myself if i cant fix it
>>17271843
stop looking at/fapping to gay shit. /d/ is pretty much all that. Ive become much more interested in dicks since browsing /d/
Stop giving a fuck about it and it'll become a non issue. Went through a stereotypical gay phase now have stopped caring. After college I ran into woman of life. No fucks given attracted to men and women
Just roll with it. Best way out of a phase is through it. You like cock, so what, enjoy cock. No harm no foul. I mean if you feel like it's weird, there are guys here who live happy normal and even social lives while having a thing for giant tentacle cock monsters raping cartoon characters so like, at least you're into consenting adults.
Anyone else extremely desensitized?
How do you learn to feel more strongly?
>>17271747
Expose yourself to more things. Yeah i can watch people get blown to bit online and probably real life. but could you apply for a business load as coldly and emotionlessly?
Let's all love Lain.
>Anyone else extremely desensitized?
Yeah, 4chan does that to you.
>How do you learn to feel more strongly?
Start seeing a psychiatrist.
I'm planning in 4+ years to move to the northen USA to be with my aryan tier frau, and I am not sure what skills or degree to get myself in the meanwhile to land a good job there.
Currently I am in the military, and thought I would tango in a uni for either a english-french or sports bachelor degree, but I remain unconvinced.
Is it a waste of time and money as I think it is?
Should I instead learn something more practical and in need?
I will soak up as many military courses I can get, maybe even manage to grab a chance for a tour in Astan, but how much will that grab the eye of employers?
What would best play out?
Also, general Advice on employment and potential career thread
>>17271729
depends what you did. office jobs arent as common as they used to be but are still common, and when you apply for an office job very little matters other than having a degree unless that officej ob is rather specific. you dont even need to have a specific accounting degree as long as you've taken all teh basic maths.
outside of that things aren't as 'vague'. ur asking for 'whats the best' in terms of the most versatile but thats not really a thing. the US is a large place and theres a lot of fucking job options. pick something you actually like that isnt some foo foo fantasy and go for it. whatever degree you get will be useful enough to go for the more common jobs
>>17271740
So a degree is nevertheless necessary for having access to the widest array of common jobs you say?
Just wanting to make sure of the importance of just having one.
>>17271900
common in the sense of comfortable not so minimum wage office work, yeah. you can go in with a liberal arts degree and get a job doing office work. many have english degrees or the like.
you dont need a degree for flipping burgers or working at wal mart or those kind of comomn jobs, no.
if ur military you should consider looking in to security and safety management and that kind of thing. worked for my dad.
I have been questioning things a lot. How many of the advice asking and received is by the same group of people posting repeatedly? I have probably made 50 posts maybe for receiving and asking, but with different topics. I'm not sure how narrow my world view is. Is it more then likely the same posters in each thread? How much is the population in 4chan advice?
We do have a core of regulars, some of whom use names and trips, while others do not. Most of them focus more on giving advice than receiving it; that's just the nature of the topic.
We have some regulars for asking too, but unfortunately, most of these are shitposters. Raiders from/r9k/ are the most common, though we get some from /pol/ too.
>How many of the advice asking and received is by the same group of people posting repeatedly?
It's hard to say on an anonymous imageboard.
>How much is the population in 4chan advice?
Again, it's hard to say on an anonymous imageboard.
I'm in NYC for the weekend. Any cool stores/museums that I can visit that relate to no wave or industrial noise? What's a "cool" kid like me gonna like in the Big Apple?
Go to the dildo shop. faggot
Bump?
Buuuummmpp?
Protips on killing youself?
Wait until you're like 85 then go skydiving with a knife and cut the reserve parachute and scream something about life on the edge
>>17271639
You draw a image of Muhammad and a kind Muslim will end your life for you.
>buy all the drugs
>get on the roof of the tallest building in town
>do all the drugs
>literally have the trip of your life
I recently met someone through one of those online apps for meeting people.
After texting with her for a while and really seeming to make a connection with her she mentions how she is married.
After finding this out it really sucks but i'm still willing to be friends with her as she seems like a really nice person. She's just in the area for a few months and tells me that her marriage is on the rocks right now. Her husband cheated on her.
I meet up with her and hang out, coffee, walk, lots of talking. She asked me in and I said sure, we sat next to each other on the couch talking and ended up holding hands. She was very respectful and asked if i was uncomfortable or if i wanted this to stop. I told her I wish I could but I just couldn't bring myself to do it because of where she was married.
I end up leaving and she texted me saying how comfortable she felt with me and that she would still like to be friends.
I have never met someone like this in a very long time that I made such a deep connection with. Almost everything we talked about we shared a common interest in.
I feel like the first time in a long time I've met someone that actually understands me.
I don't know what to do.
>>17271557
You do know that it is possible and perfectly OK for a man and woman to be platonic friends.
I suspect, though, that a married woman only in the area for a few months was looking for a short sexual adventure rather than a nice friend.
>>17271564
I know, and I would have been fine with that if it wasn't for the connection I made with her.
Well, she could be here for a few months or for much longer. It depends on what she decides is going to happen with her marriage.
I thought about that too, which is what worries me because I really don't want to be used - especially with someone that I'm starting to have feelings for.
help bump
So a girl at Rocky Roccoco's gave me her number out of the blue on Friday. Was gonna call/text her tonight but I really have no idea what to say, this sorta thing's never happened to me before. Any tips? I really don't wanna screw this up.
>>17271520
your fear of not screwing this up makes you unable to text her because you think there's a "right way" of doing this and you have already screwed this up
if you cared less, you would've realized it doesn't matter WHAT you text her, it's important that you DO text her, hell she gave you her number, yet you are calculating the optimal thing to say like an autist, say goodbye to this grill
>>17271520
Hey (girls name) how you doing?
-good anon how about you?
I wanna rock your roccoco if ya know what i mean babe
-click nnnnnnnnnnnnn engh engh engh
(you call back) hey this is anon what happened?
-dont call me ever again weirdo i though you were different
click nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, you call back but your blocked so you start stalking her, getting pizza everyday, eventually she transfers to a different rockys but you eventually track her down, she calls cops, they shoot you, end of story
>>17271520
Hi. I'm the guy from Rocky's. What's up?"
without committing suicide or hibernating like a disgusting neet slug on a bed?
I'm just fed up of all these constraints in my life I can't bear it.
I mean I do want to stop existing but I still want you know a second chance
I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting, but what sorts of constraints are bothering you?
Go to a psych and get some fucking medication.
How do I wash this pillow without dry cleaning it? There's no tag on it with washing instructions.
>>17271472
A cool wash
>>17271476
Does it need a gentle cycle? Or can it take medium?
>>17271482
When in doubt, use gentle cycle with cold water
