What do I gotta do to impress her /mlp/ ?
>>25804825
Be financially independent, for starters
>there goes all of /mlp/
Be snob enough to speak French or Itallian because you think it is chique and haute culture.
>>25804825
Be rich/famous/royalty/someone she can leach off of to further her own agenda
I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash.
I want to cum inside the IWTCIRD thread.
>>25803999
Nice trips
>"If you want to spray me with your Raid, Anon, we're going to have to settle it over a rap battle, so rock on. If you win you can spray, if you lose you get spayed and your dick flayed."
>>25803296
c-can't we just cuddle instead?
>>25803296
Bitch you betta lie down and pray. Hope i dont kill with my spray.
Like night and day you are so fucking gay
I would light your ass up but it looks like the job is done.
Oops looks like they missed one *chick chick- BOOM*
You got owned by a cuck, whos wife would rather fuck a duck.
God you are so fucking annoying, stop bugging me or ill make sure you'll be tugging me.
Worshiping my cock as if it was spock.
And i dont want you live long and prosper. I want to see you get sliced by a helicopter.
Now here is the mic but dont choke on it, syke we all know you want it.
>>25803911
>Ohshit.jpg
>"Nightmare night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!"
>"Come on, Anon. What's the matter?"
>"Don't you have anything for us to bite?"
>>25802881
>Anon glares at the girls.
>"Y-You're supposed to say something like "*unzips dick*"
>He glares harder
>"At least say something! Anything! We made greentext and everything!"
>A blood vessel pops in his eye
>"Okay, okay, we're leaving..."
"Ugh. Finally."
>Anon goes back to shitposting
>>25802922
parody green is so much better nowadays.
>>25802881
>>sweetie in full tatchi vamp garb
I will give her all the candy then encourage her to have her vampire thralls learn their place to earn it.
Can't spell /mlp/ without /m/
>>25802794
Did I hear someone say /m/lp/?
>>25802886
Because I think I heard someone say /m/lp/.
>>25802886
>>25802899
>>>>/trash/ is what you heard anon
>listen to 2 years of /mlp/ pissing and moaning about the show going downhill after season 3
>just now watched seasons 4&5 in the span of a week
>enjoyed the show so much I tear up at the end of every episode
>Friendship literally became magic
>fucking loved the episode with Troublehooves
>totally fucking loved the entire situation with the CMC's earning their cutie marks
>cried like a bitch when they turned the roots of the Golden Oak Library into a chandelier for Twilight
>in stead of running the show into the ground when the main characters almost fully developed, the writers decide to give them the hardest, most rewarding challenge to face: helping others develop as well
>people are not happy with this
I guess some people just earn their cutie marks in whining like a bitch.
>>25802787
Just like some people like everything without any complain, because their lives are so unfulfilled and empty they literally have nothing else, like you.
>>25802828
The 8th grade called. It wants itsFUCKING EVERYTHINGback.
>>25802865
>Gets completely rekt
>All he can muster to say is you posted something like a 8th grader could
Alright, tell yourself whatever you need so you don't kill yourself.
>watching through newest MLP since haven't been keeping up
>mfw Brotherhooves Social
W H Y
>>25801863
>Redditfrog
>>>/reddit/
>>25801863
>not loving big mac's feminine horsecock
It's not about gender identity at all. It's about how Big Mac was so desperate to be seen as important by his little sister that he was willing to go to any ends to do so. No one gave a shit he crossdressed, and he never actually needed to. He could have competed as he was.It was funny hearing the mentally ill who think lopping off their dick makes them a woman get offended by a children's cartoon when another cartoon that did literally this exact same plot is the most progressive piece of media they love.
Stayed up late on exam night, because I decided that this was more important than my future.
Just wanted to see what kind of response this green gets, since I haven't written in a good long time. Pls gibe feedback:
>>25796782
>From between the bars of your slave carriage, you can see a rainbow-maned Pegasus mare approaching, flanked by two of your captors.
>The inside of your prison is cramped and silent, save for the coughs and sniffling of a few of the more sickly men who were taken.
>None of you know each other, since every spoken word earned you a lashing. So you’ve all sat and quietly stewed in your sweat and filth for nearly four days straight, shitting and pissing on yourselves like livestock.
>But now, with this new customer approaching, you hear the first words in a long time.
>”…Are fresh from the Northern woods, most of them have never seen a proper town like this one. But with the right training, these humans make excellent servants and manual workers.”
>The rainbow one looks over the carriage and scratches her chin.
>”I want the strongest one.”
>”Well, miss Rainbow, I do know that a few of our catches were skilled hunters and tribal warriors. Just take a look at these:”
>With a bark, he calls you and a few of the others by name.
>Or number.
>”One, Six, Eight! Stand!”
>You pull yourself up by the bars while your cramped legs protest against it, while the other three struggle to stand as well.
>”One was caught by a river catching his own fish, Six was armed with a primitive wooden spear, and Eight, well, he put up quite the fight with my guards before we could snag him. ”
>Rainbow squints her eyes at you, while you stare back, to tired for an emotion.
>”THAT one looks the best.”
>>25796786
>She’s pointing at you.
>Orders are given, and soon the carriage door is opened and you are being motioned out.
>”One is a healthy young man, I assure you that with the right training, he can be a great asset.”
>As you step down the ramp and feel the dirt and grass beneath your feet, Rainbow coughs and covers her mouth.
>One of the other ponies immediately pulls out a cloth and offers it to her, chuckling.
>”My apologies, dear. These creatures are used to living in quite a sorry state, and the dangers of our trade do not permit us to stop and clean them while in wild territory.”
>She takes the cloth and presses it to her nose.
>”He REEKS! Is he always gonna smell like that?”
>”With a good scrubbing, humans are not so bad.”
>She sighs.
>”Do I have to clean it myself?”
>”Most humans have some knowledge of hygiene. But of course, we offer a thorough cleaning service as well.”
>She rolls her eyes.
>”Of course you do. Whatever, I’ll take him as is. How much?”
>”That’ll be two bushels of hay, or six bags of oats.”
>”Oh, uh, could I pay you with this?”
>She puts forth a bag full of metal containers.
>”Canned food? Fair enough. Pleasure doing business with you, ma’am.”
>And just like that. You’ve been sold.
>You keep still while one of the guards fastens a rope around your neck and hands it to the rainbow one. Your new handler gives it a tug and you wince as the rough material digs into your skin.
>”Alright, so… That’s it? I got him?”
>”That’s right, miss Rainbow. But use caution; without the proper obedience training, humans can be quite dangerous. ”
>”Yeah, yeah. And you offer training services, too, right?”
>”Right. Let’s go.”
>>25796791
>The afternoon sun feels amazing on your naked body while Rainbow walks you through the town. You’ve been stripped down since they took you, and the sunlight hardly ever found its way through the bars of the carriage.
>”Okay, One. You really stink… Like really bad!”
>You hardly register her words while your eyes take in the bright little town.
>Everywhere you look, there are ponies. Little ponies, big ponies, medium ponies, ponies of all ages and sizes are out and about, chatting, trading, and working outside of their quaint little wooden homes. Some of them even have markings on their rumps.
>”So the first thing I’m doing is giving you a bath.”
>There are even other humans around, clothed, collared, walking and talking and talking and working just as much.
>Few even bother to give you a look, though it’s more of passing interest or disgust as you pass them.
>Your owner turns a corner and you’re obliged to follow, stopping at a small cottage like the others in the town.
>”But yeah, I’m NOT washing you in my tub. Nooo way, mister.”
>She unlocks the door and walks you inside. The rough wooden floor reminds you of when you first stepped into the slave carriage, though the inside is much more inviting.
>There’s a room containing a small table with several crates and dishes, an empty room with a brick fireplace, a room with a heavy metal tub, and a smaller room with a mass of pillows and blankets in one corner.
>But as soon as you’re in, you are walked out the back door, where this is little more than a clothesline and a fence.
>”Stay.”
>She zips back inside her house for a moment and appears again with a bucket of cold water and a bar of soap.
>”Alright, One. This here is wa-ter.”
>She puts down the bucket and holds out the mud-coloured bar of soap like an idol.
>”And this? This is called soooap. You rub it on yourself, and it makes you clean!”
“I know….”
>”-HUH?”
Ok /mlp/, I know you faggots love to be edgy but let's all cut it out for a sec
What was one positive thing you learned from or influence on you since you got into MLP?
I learned that cartoon horses are very attractive
>>25796203
that autists can also be weaboos.
No free napkins?
![913D95B8396604B2CBAEF33D8D0338FAB3A56EAE[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/U8kXdYN.png "913D95B8396604B2CBAEF33D8D0338FAB3A56EAE[1]")
>"I want to bear your child, anon!"
>"Make me a mother!"
Too vanilla for /mlp/ I guess. For what it's worth though, it is my fetish.
>>25791063
But Rarity...We are not of the same species, so we cannot reproduce as nature intended.But thank you for fulfilling my impregnation fetish.
>>25791063
I can't help you with that. A human and pony literally cannot bear a child together. Tis impossible, m'dear.
>It's getting cold, isn't it?
Well, yes, it is, so, have any good thread for m- OH MY GOD WHAT ARE Y...
>>25789962
OH GOD PLEASE NO
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
pretty fucking ominous, family
>Careful! It's really hot!
Not as hot as you are, m'lady.
>>25785558
I appreciate the thought, Sunset, but those toppings make me gag just looking at them
Mind going back and getting me a sweet sriracha instead?
I'll give you the cash if you want.
"I known it's hot, I'm not stupid ya know."
>"I know you're know Anon."
>you take a slice of pizza.
>stupid sunset always trying to baby me I know how to-
>Ouch!
>"What's wrong Anon, did you burn your tounge?"
"No...."
>Your tongue hurts.
>"Do you want some soda?"
"Fine."
>You take the soda from sunset.
>there she goes again with that stupid smile on her face.
>I know how to take care of myself.
>"uhhhhh, Anon you spilled some soda on your shirt."
"S-shut up, I know what I did."
Sorry for the shit writing, I was bored.
I was bored, so i checked the blog.UPDATESDoes anybody remember how to do the weird morse code string
>>25764449
http://askloona.tumblr.com/
Also forgot link
>>25764449
>tfw faggots ruined aesa
>>25764449
We getting back on this?
>"Morning, my sunshine! You're not going anywhere today? Maybe we can spend time together, you know just like when you were little. Maybe you can show me how to play with "Playstation". "
>>25679302
Celestia as a mother figure is a fucked HC anyway.
Just admit that it's your fetish and make it a proper porn thread, OP.
>>25679347
Incest isn't my fetish. I just want comfy feelswhich I don't have irl.
>>25679302
Fuck it, I'll writefag for you and see if it will keep the thread alive cause I have nothing better to do.
>you groan loudly in annoyance for two reasons
>one because Celestia sure was an annoying mother
>especially these past couple of weeks after your birthday
>she's gotten really needy and clingy
>the second reason is she just asked you to show her how to play "playstation"
>that's pretty
>seriously that's pretty
>but it was summer break and all your friends have gotten jobs and here you are sitting at home playing vidya waiting fruitlessly for responses to the online applications you've sent in
>you pause your game and look up at her
>her head was tilted slightly to the side and she wore a hopeful smile
>goddamnit
>that look always got you
>you had no real reason to say no
>so you answer her in a less than enthused manor
"Okay, mom."
>she smiles brightly and rushes over to sit next to you on your bed with both hands in her lap looking at the screne
"So what game are we going to be playing, Anon?"
![1440852275557[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MRPzuhB.jpg "1440852275557[1]")
