Hey Faggots,
My name is Hayden and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day eating at McDonalds and Olive Garden. You are everything bad in gastronomy. Honestly, have any of you ever had marjoram roasted rack with morel panna cotta and fava beans? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own primitive tastes in cuisine, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than ordering Little Caesars in an ethnic neighborhood.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best dish. I’m pretty much perfect. I was head chef at 15 East in Manhattan and assistant executive chef at Balthazar Restaurant on the Upper East Side. What food do you cook, other than “microwave for 2 minutes then add soup packet”? I also get mad reviews on Yelp, and have a tattoo of a kitchen knife (I just got it; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my red wine burger with caramelized onion and goat cheese
That was terrible. You obviously don't appreciate food enough to make a good pasta. I prescribe a year's subscription to Lucky Peach and Gastronomica, then you can try again next November.
Is that a burger for ants?
>>7053141
is that a tattoo of a fucking radish?
Would you brave enough to eat this underwater insect food?
>>7053087
Why wouldn't I be? I already eat roaches of the sea (lobster).
sure its probably like squid jerky but what the hey.
Ive had that kind of stuff before. basically dry squid covered in MSG. pretty great
Please teach an ex-homeless absolute beginner with no cooking experience and no friends or family how to cook.
I will do my best.
put food in a pan and wait until it's brown
Decide on a dish you like to eat. Like chicken and potatoes, or beef stifry or something.
Google maybe 5-6 recipes for that dish. Decide on the recipe variation that sounds tastiest to you (maybe the other stirfry recipes have a shitty mix of veggies you don't like, or a spice blend that sounds unappealing)
Cook when you are not hungry! Nothing worse than trying to cook when you are low blood sugar, and just want something to eat. Cook ahead of time while you are learning.
Eat your dish, and decide what you liked, or didn't like. Maybe you wanted more beef in your stirfry, or, it was too salty or something. Tweak the recipe, and try it again later.
>>7053072
turn on stove
put lipid in pan
put egg in pan
flip it when it starts turning white
wait a little longer
good job, you made an egg
you can also break the yellow part of the egg and add milk to make a different version of egg
Hey anon, how do you like your steak? Cooking now.
I've got more.
>>7053008
Well done with a-1
>>7053008
Pan is way too small to be cooking those 2 steaks
Soylent thread, anyone?
Only software entrepreneurs with delusions of grandeur drink it.
>>7052883
I drink it. I'm not a software entrepreneur, grandeur or not.
QED stop being such a massive faggot.
>>7052876
how is a liquid supposed to fill you up. it takes the stomach 5 seconds to proccess it and then its empty again
>get local pizza instead they said
ABSOLUTE SHIT!
>>7052835
but that looks delicious
>>7052839
>I can taste with my eyes
>>7052835
>live in flyover state
>mad the local pizza is shit
Trying to get into tea and having some trouble. So some questions I have for the tea-folk here:
1. I don't have a tea kettle so I just boil the water in a pot. Should it be legit BOILING to use it for tea, or is that too hot?
2. When you pour the water in the cup, is it normal for the bag to float to the top, and stay there? It seems strange, I would think that a lot of the tea leaves aren't being absorbed, but is this normal?
3. Are you supposed to stir the tea with a spoon before drinking, in order to disperse the tea evenly throughout?
1. Water should be brought to the desired temperature without boiling it.
2. Don't use teabags you fucking plebeian.
3. Doesn't really matter.
>>7052858
Oh, so you put the tea bag in AFTER the water? The directions on the box seem to imply you pour the water over the bag
Any industry workers here? Need advice about some kitchen drama.
>Work at Pizza Hut, been there less than 6 weeks but thats plenty of time to know everything
>5 pizza 'chefs' in total
>3 of us are new (there for 2 months or less), one has been there a year, the other, Ronald, for several years
>Ronald is a lazy fucker and relies on the fact that he has been there so long to do no fucking work at all
>Only works lunch shifts (the easiest, but also most hours) and never preps anything that he is supposed to for the evening shift/next day
>Got raped for 6 hours yesterday evening because he didnt do his day jobs
>Pissed because I knew I was working with him today
>Today he tries to order me around because he feels superior to me whilst he does nothing as usual
>Tell him im not interested and im going to do what I want
>He starts getting angry, I can see where this is headed
>Tell him he is lazy and does terrible work so isnt in a position to tell me shit, and that Im always picking up his slack
>He loses it, starts screaming at me, kicking bins, threatening to attack me, had to be restrained and eventually asked to leave the building
Do you think this guy should be sacked? Should I refuse to work with him again? Im not scared of him, but hes a very aggresive African man and there are a lot of knives around. Id prefer him to be sacked since Id like his lunch shifts. What do?
Kitchen drama general i suppose?
Why doesn't the manager work the day shift?
>>7052767
>industry
>Pizza Hut
Stopped reading.
Rip on me guys.
>>7052655
*BRAAAAAAAPP*
>>7052655
This is not carbonara.
0/10
Oh its gonna be carbonara, just wait.
I live alone, and I don't have a large freezer for storing leftovers.
Do I go with a 6 quart or 8 quart pot? Right now I just have a 1.5 quart saucepan and a 10 inch skillet.
>>7052617
get those square zip lock plastic containers to store or freeze stuff and maximize your use of space
6 qt is pretty big. Go with 6 qt
>>7052633
Let me be a bit more specific. I have a micro fridge, so the freezer can barely hold anything. Generally things need to be refrigerated and eaten in a few days.
>>7052651
I'm thinking a Cuisinart Multiclad Pro. Do you think it worthwhile to get something like that over a Chef's Classic? $44 vs $62
Putting this on your steak is just as bad as using ketchup.
Yeah, and?
>>7052593
WTF does putting A-1 on a steak have to do with using ketchup? I like ketchup on my french fries.
>>7052593
I use it on the cheaper cuts of steaks like new York strip
Once upon a time Taco Bell had this. I loved it so much, I would get five of them for only five dollars they were so delicious
Do you miss it?
Never even knew it existed but to answer your question Yes
the tacobell golden age was 4th meal with the 79 cent menu
now they are trying to be upscale, which to them apparently means putting cilantro, ranch sauce, and avocado cream on everything
I miss the chili cheese burrito. Plz bring it back taco bell.
Who's stocked up for thanksgivings?
Who feeds anything other than meat to a dog?
Woof Woof Bow Wow
>>7052757
I fed my dog lots of things, he likes carrots a lot, dislikes grapes very much.
Quiche baby time!
I'm going to be walking through how I make these things, cause they're pretty good.
This is only really for dumbfucks who've never made quiche before, because the recipe is bog standard as shit.
Three eggs, 4 slices applewood bacon, clove of garlic, 4th an onion, 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and pepper, half and half, half a cup of swiss cheese grated, and an 8-cup muffin tin with a shitton of pam.
Put that bacon in the skilleta nd watch it sizzle
In the meantime, dice the onions and garlic.
Finish with the bacon and drain the grease, I assume I don't havr to go in detail on that.
Clean out the skillet, and put in a healthy heaping of butter and then the garlic soon afterward.
Also, turn the oven on around 350.
ill wait
Anyone have some real cringe worthy shit their friends do while eating?
>me and friends order pizza
>lanky fag friend who's 6 ft 3 140 lbs takes a few slices
>gets a napkin and wipes the cheese and sauce off it.
>goes to the fridge and gets parmesean cheese and covers the lonely dough in cheese.
>ask him why the he wastes all this for shitty cheese bread. "My ways better and I don't like pizza sauce or mozzarella cheese"
>>7052469
>6 ft 3 140 lbs
Is this even possible ?
>>7052485
In Auschwitz anything is possible
>>7052485
Yes, I suppose.
I am 6foot4, used to weight 165lbs in college.
Started lifting and eating better, now am at 190lbs.
