Hello friends, time for another episode of me penetrating objects that are meant to be in your mouth; I Fuck Food.
Food Item #2: Marshmallows you said, and I listened! Congrats to the anon who suggested this, I had a lot of them.
Preparation: 10/10(Easy!) Get about 8-10 medium marshmallows and put then in a medium sized cup or glass. Slap it in the microwave for 10-20 seconds til desired warmth, then let it cool. Careful, I didn't let mine cool and I burnt my dick with marshmallow. It didn't feel-good at all.
Stealth: 7/10 You can do this if you live with people and they are home, provided that you are quick. The air pockets will make some noise, but it's minimal. like always dispose of it in your bathroom. Also the marshmallow smell will mask your cum scent.
Session: 2/10 Very sticky, but a dry sticky. If your dick can handle heat, then pop it out of the microwave and fuck it immediately. It takes a while to cum to this too, which is a letdown. Just keep fucking until the end, and don't give up.
Orgasm: 5/10 A complete letdown of what I thought it was going to be. I thought my orgasm was going to be a supernova and my seed would make a marshmallow man baby to take on the feminist Ghostbusters and smash their matriarchy. It's better than just using your hands, though.
Cleanup: 0/10 This is hard if you live alone, I just take a wet washcloth and wipe the marshmallow off my dick, throw the cloth in the washing machine or just take a shower. Cleaning the glass is the hard part. If you live with people, hide that stuff and wait till they leave. Then do as I said above.
Overall experience: 3/10 Dry sticky, hard to use, and hurts to clean off your dick. Don't try unless you're very patient.
Thanks for reading! Here's the picture. Hope you enjoyed. Suggest what food I fuck next down in the comments.
NOTE TO MODS: I have read through the rules of /ck/ and the global rules and I am in no violation of them. Don't remove my post, or I make 2 per day. Thanks.
Oh I forgot to put on my name. This is me!
And as always, tell me if you tried this and if you agree with me.
welcome back. I wanted to read what happened in your last thread when I got home from work but it had already been deleted
I'm going to be going back to school in the fall and money will be tightish, you have any good ideas on things to make or how to improve pic related?
>>7780978
All u need to add the noodles into boiling water and season packet. Makes a huge difference
>>7780978
>how to improve pic related?
Sure. Add in some actual fresh ingredients like veggies and/or meat.
>classic image.jpg
Have any of you ever been in a mental hospital? If so, how was the food?
yes, was just hospital food
I've been in three different mental hospitals. In the best one the food was mid grade hospital chow, the worst one was jail-tier.
I stopped acting erraticly years ago but now i have cancer. The hospital i go to for treatment has unbelievably good and the people who prapre and deliver it super nice. I make sure to be super nice and funny with them so i can get extra treats.
It wasn't too bad. It's just like something you would get in a cheap cafeteria, similar to school lunches. They would tell us what the meal would be that day and you always had the option of ordering a burger or chefs salad instead. The food was delivered there, they didn't make any of it on site.
The water was fucking horrible though. There was only one drinking fountain. It was warm and tasted like iron.
How much does garlic cost in your country?
Here in Europe prices are insane.Just couple of years ago you could get a kilo for 1-2€. Now a kilo costs up to 10 €. Has garlic become a luxury?
>>7780564
Albany, ny area, theyre usually about $0.75 a head. all the groceries here sell them by the head rather than weight.
2 decent sized heads for $1 here in mountain-and-hipsterland, USA
Vancouver Canada: $1 for 2 heads, 3 if it's from China...
Do you pour your chips onto a plate or grab them?
Why would you dump chips onto a plate unless you were sharing with a bunch of people?
>>7780548
Pour on a plate and use chopsticks. It's fun and they last more.
I'm fat so I just shove them in my mouth as fast as possible. Why dirty a plate?
daily reminder that burritos are a variation of tacos and as authentic as al pastor.
>>7780470
>Daily reminder
>Doesn't post daily
Retard and a faggot desu.
Have some pork.
Who cares if it's "authentic" or not, so long as it tastes good or you like it.
Everyone is batshit obsessed with authenticity, nowadays—especially where it doesn't even matter.
>>7780480
No one should care but at the same time no one should call a taco bell taco "authentic" nor hsould they call a san fran burrito "mexican" those are tacos and burritos, but those are mexican-american tacos and burritos
So basically I can put whatever I want into a tortilla and call it a taco, or are there some basic principles that I have to follow like onions, garlic, beans, etc?
>>7780441
>into a tortilla and call it a taco
Correct.
or are there some basic principles that I have to follow like onions
No.
>>7780441
You can do whatever you want. There's no Platonic ideal of what a taco is supposed to be. There are regional variations in style that you might want to be aware of if you're interested in that sort of thing. For example tacos arabes are usually made with flout tortillas, and tacos placeros usually have rice in them. Mexicans have already worked out a lot of delicious variations on the taco, so there's really no need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to tacos. But you can if you want.
So a friend of mine thought it would be funny to buy me some of ja/ck/s sauces.
What do I even do with them?...
BBQ- isn't nearly as sweet as I was expecting.
"Gourmet"- literally a shaker full of ramen chicken flavoring
The other two smell and taste like he just repackaged Kroger brand.
>friend of yours
Riiight.
>a friend
suure
What's the best tasting fish? I heard fish is really healthy and I want to start eating it. I tried tilapia but it tasted like dirt.
>>7780237
For a starter, you should go with white flesh fish, then try blue fish, and so on until you reach to the patrician top and start eating sea urchin and other delicacies.
snook, fresh tuna, salmon
>>7780249
This.
Start with different white fish: cod, haddock, etc.
If you don't like "fishy" stuff, salmon and trout will be tough.
What's wrong with boiling burgers?
Your wife's son doesn't like them
That looks more like braising, or poaching.
>>7780160
You're supposed to steam those hams, Anon. Not boil them
Is there a cooking starter kit?
Moving in my own first apartement next month and need to start cooking for myself.
Have you tried a kitchen?
It's everything you need located conveniently in a single room
>>7780013
equipment?
chef knife, cutting board, a 10-12 inch pan (preferably that can be moved from stove top to oven), spatula, a couple large mixing bowls
>>7780013
There isn't. But I recommend the following as very basics.
Skillet
Saucepan
Frying pan
At least 3 pots of various sizes
Ladles
Wooden spoon
Spatula
Anything else can be bought based on need. No sense in having an item if you barely use it.
>>7779950
its alright
salty junk > sweet junk
>>7779950
I prefer it when it's cold outside, but a nice ice cream on a beautiful sunny day is pretty good.
>>7779950
BLACKED
Figured this might be the place to ask.
I have an exam tomorrow, and I want to know what I can eat to boost cognitive functions while taking it. I'm already going to eat a pound of blueberries, drink a pot of green tea, and eat 200g dark chocolate. What else can I add?
Thanks beforehand.
the green tea wont work if its the shitty stuff in bags fyi, you need good quality loos leaf for it to have any effect.
>>7779984
That's the kind I have.
>>7779921
caffeine, nicotine, adderall, vyvanse any nootropic really. Unless if you eat the good shit everyday, you won't get much
>El Presidente, the kitchen, they made you a ham and cheese sandwich
>Is Cuban, comrade?
>que?
>Is it Cuban? The sandwich?
>Is ham and cheese El Presidente.
>aye aye aye! Answer ME!
>s-si El Hefe, i-is Cuban!
>Bueno, I like dis "Cuban" sandwich. What kind is it again?
>C-Cuban, padre.
>Si. Bueno.
Not to disrupt this garbage shitpost, but the Cuban sandwich was invented in Florida, not Cuba
Basically Cubans in Miami and Tampa would make a "mixto" sandwich and whiteys didn't want to learn any new words so they just asked for the sandwiches the Cubans would get. Thus it became known as the Cuban sandwich and since it came about at the same time in both Tampa and Miami, there are differences in the sandwiches depending on where you are.
>>7779873
It was invented by Jon Favreau, you dip.
>>7779873
didnt read
its a ham and cheese sandwich with an unnecessary pinch of pork on it
Whats your go to dish when youre outta ideas for dinner?
For me its tacos. So easy to just brown meat, cut veggies and roll on a soft burrito.
pic not related
![0071430000310_CF_version_type_large[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2ocZamC.jpg "0071430000310 CF version type large[1]")
Usually a quiche. Now that it is summer, I will grill something (chicken, fish, sausage) and have it with a salad and a steamed/baked/grilled vegetable or some carb (couscous, quinoa, potato).
I was eating a lot of bag salads over the last few months, especially the chipotle one in the pic and this kale Caesar one. I'm pretty sick of them now so I just make a salad with spinach, a leaf mix, homemade vinaigrette, and things like pumpkin seeds, dried cranberries, chopped apple, croutons, whatever.
Spaghetti al arrabiata if I have no meat at home
Bolognese if I have
Crabs
