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Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 5391. page


The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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37 names my new cult.
74 posts and 16 images submitted.
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the sand dwellers
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Christianity
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>>565611181
Donkey raping shit eaters

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Back again, /b/, this time from Harrison, Arkansas. Finally out of Missouri, feeling pretty good at this point. Met a cool guy named Kory and a cool old lady, both picked me up separately and each gave me a knife (the lady gave me a new bag to carry my food and a few bottles of water). Checking in real quick before I head back to I-65 and head south some more.
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>>565605715
YOU GOTTA CATCH EM ALL ASH!
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Bumping once, but I guess I'll just head out then.
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>>565606772
explain OP?

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Alright sandniggers.

Suddenly my ex-girlfriend turned really hot, or at least more than before.

For the past weeks my dick wants her. Just fucking one time and thats it - maybe.

Although I have girlfriend but she's long gone for the next 4 months to Ausland m8. They don't have any friends related at all. But I am concerned if i message her or leave any trail, she will blackmail me. How can I do this /b/ ?

TL;DR fuck ex without girlfriend finds out, wat do?


Pic related. It's her.
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Another wone.
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Is her neck always crooked?
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Nah just facebook pics

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ITT Post passable traps, at least 7/10

>can't post yourself fgts
74 posts and 34 images submitted.
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baump
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>>565601130
No way this is a trap
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>>565601807
Look at the shoulders/arms

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Bring back nudes.
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I say, a mystery ticket...
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>>565600239
Rollin'
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>>565600239
MOOT YOU FAGGOT WHY DO I NEED TO WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE BEFORE I SHITPOST YOU NIGGGER FUCK YOU MOOT

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ITT: we write a song for Lil Wayne 1 word at a time.

first 100 post are the lyrics
after 100 post anyone who rolls a 69 records it
http://vocaroo.com/

using this beat with the best lil wayne impersonation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLjBeSXMI6I

ill start

Nigga
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nigga
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shootin'
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Cockerspaniel

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Russians are coming for /b/ri
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where is the skeleton king?
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Bump

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Amerifag here, it is without further ado that I now humbly declare war on on the cancerous shithole also known as Australia.
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sit back and wait

Funnel Web Spiders
Boxing kangaroos
Drop Bears
Vicious Emus
Baby Eatin Dingos
Feral Bogans

your move amerifat
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>scumbag
no, smart
ukfag here, sick of all the fucking sandniggers
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>>565594557
Budgie smuggling prime minister

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Story of button - thread three

Been a long journey guys, hope you have enjoyed the story so far.

>>565597374

>”and get me a drink!” she orders while relaxing with her eyes shut as I dry myself, “something with ice”
>she is getting on my nerves now, I don’t mind the dominance thing but I don’t like being made to feel like I owe her things because she let me fuck her or blew me… that’s not the sort of even term friendship that I was enjoying and I hope for both our sakes she is just teasing
>”come back here faggot” button calls to me just as I walk out
>”what now…” I turn and look at her dryly, she is pushing things now
>button moves over to the edge of the bathtub and fingers at me to come over with smug smile on her face
>I move over to her, not even trying to hide the frustration growing on my face
>as I reach her she pushes herself up to match my head height and moves in towards me, “thankyou” she says softly and ernastly before kissing me deeply but slowly and with passion
>’am I really that much of an open book?’ I think to myself as any feelings of frustration melt away into nothing as button thanks me for everything that just happened
>she pulls away and looks at me with a cute smile, “now go make dinner…” she begins before adopting a sort of teasing baby voice “and don’t wook so butthurt about it”
>I can’t help but smile at her…
>I grab her on either side of her head and bring my face close to hers, “I’m going to fuck the shit out of you tomorrow”
>button just looks at me and bites her lip, “that’s more like it… faggot”
>that’s the thing with button, if I don’t fight back at her every once in a while then she will just start to steamroll right over me, she has always been like, from day one
>she knows when she is getting on my nerves but she will keep on poking and prodding until I turn around and start fighting back
306 posts and 30 images submitted.
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>>565597549
For those just joining:

>Thread 1
http://4archive.org/b/res/565577023

>Thread 2
http://4archive.org/b/res/565586848
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>>565597549
wahoo
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>>565597549

>I’ve always been a bit of a push over with people, because of the whole hating conflict and stuff, but ever since I met button I have started becoming a much more confident and stronger person, I don’t let people walk over me anywhere near as much
>I wonder if she does it deliberately? Or just finds it fun to see me snap? I’ll have to ask her…
>I feel completely re-invigorated and refreshed after that as I put some comfortable pants on and get to work on dinner
>scotch fillet with whole button mushrooms and gravy, mash potato and prosciutto wrapped grilled asparagus… how could button not be fucking impressed
>also a perfect way to end what has turned out to be a fantastic day
>once the potatoes are in I fix button a drink, I don’t have a huge collection of spirits handy, especially not girly ones, maybe a bit leftover Malibu from slut 3 and a bottle of Absolut vodka
>I like to keep things simple, rum or whisky, on the rocks
>I have raspberry Fanta in the fridge, so I make button a simple raspberry vodka with a bit of ice and bring it in for her
>she smiles as I walk in holding her drink, “I was kidding about the drink faggot… I was just pushing your buttons”
>”yeah I know… but you did swallow my whole load this time”
>she has a sip and notices the vodka, “trying to get me drunk now huh?”
>”why would I do that?” I protest innocently as I head back to the kitchen
>”because my pussy is sore and now you want a ‘stab’ at my ass perhaps?” button calls to me as I walk out to the kitchen
thatsnotafuckingbadidea.gif

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/b/ri chan thread
256 posts and 152 images submitted.
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>>565581727
Moar of left pls
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Bump
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Dude, you trolling?

I'm drunk again bitches.

Seeing how bad the last NZ thread i made went, Lets try again.

Get the fuck in here nzfags
319 posts and 61 images submitted.
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>>565578887
Fuck John Key.
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>>565579043
I don't even actually know where I'm sitting for this election. I think It's safe to assume you're either Green or Labor?
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>>565579149
Fuck jon key. Labour wants to legalize weed aswell as raise minimum wage and not sell us to china

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Hey /b/
What was your paranormal experience?

>lived near house that was said to be haunted
>woke up at 3:00am
>door handle tries to turn
>stops
>room turns cold
>80 degree night
303 posts and 69 images submitted.
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>>565564624
Lived in a haunted house. Occasional loud banging noises. Rattling/scraping noises on the ceiling that would go on for hours. All roomates (6) agreed house was haunted. Denied everything and ignored all noises.
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>phone call
>noone call
>hang phone
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Masturbate till the ghosts leave.

Share your Skyrim wife/girlfriend/slave.

For those wondering: Yes you can fuck them, yes you can kill them, yes you can get them pregnant, yes they cook you dinner, and yes they look THAT realistic.
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>>565586825
what the fuck is wrong with its legs
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>>565586825
Praying 4 u op
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Last night with her.

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Story of button continued

>turn around to see button walking with a look of bloody fucking murder across her face
>she plants two hands on my chest and WWF style slams me into the bathroom door, nearly busting it off her hinges
>she’s small, but has some serious firepower to her, she showed me that when we first met
>she must have given her brothers a run for their money
>I imagine this is what it feels like to get mugged by a pack of large niggers, only replace the niggers with a one short horny white girl and she is after your baby juice not your money
>button gets up on her tip toes and starts to kiss me violently and I don’t use that word lightly
>after few seconds she stops, “take your pants off and sit on the chair!” she demands and points to my computer chair just over from us
>I consider asking why, but the smarter half of me decides now is not a time to question her motives, I also have a decent idea on what is about to go down and have no intentions of foiling her plans
>take pants of and sit on the edge of the chair
>now I know up until now that it seems like button is kind of clueless with this stuff but that’s only half true, it’s not like she has never watched porn before, we have both been fairly regular 4chan browsers for quite some time
>where she falls short is putting things into practice, it’s easy to watch a .webm of a girl jacking a guy off… but actually doing it is another thing
>so I would be lying when say that when she got down on her knees and proceeded to put my spam javelin in her mouth it felt incredible… it was pretty darn good but there was a bit too much teeth for it to be incredible
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>>565586848

>”loose the teeth…” I quickly point out, trying not to kill the vibe
>but lets face it… a toothy headjob doesn’t make anybody happy
>she spends the next minute or so working her way around things, figuring how fit me into her mouth without getting her teeth in the way
>I help her out a bit by showing her how to use her hand to work the shaft up and down at the same time as she slides it in and out
>aside from that, I’m pretty darn impressed… might have some teeth marks but as her technique improves with each stroke I slowly forget about any discomfort
>she finds a decent a pace and starts refine things more and more
>It actually catches me off guard when I realise that this is actually taking me somewhere… I was not expecting that, not for a first time headjob
>guess I should give button credit where she deserves it, she’s definitely no idiot and she does have an eye for the finer details
>I notice pretty quickly that she is paying close attention to my reactions as she tries various things
>I guide her along by making some extra noise, or squeezing her hair gently when she does something that feels exceptionally good
>button keeps looking up at me… most beautiful thing in the world, watching my cock disappear into her mouth with those brown eyes looking up at me
>there must be a god, I feel truly blessed
>she manages to narrow things down to a combination of 3 things, long strokes using a combination of her mouth and hand in sync with each other, jacking me off while she rests her mouth, and jacking me off while keep her mouth around my knob
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>>565586848
Damn it, OP, you must keep going! For the greater good, you lucky son of a bitch. And again, I must ask: Steam? TF2 or some other casul game? DotA?
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>>565587001
bumpin

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ITT: We list our 3 favourite movies, then someone else recommends a good film that we might enjoy

Ill start:
>Oldboy (God-tier original)
>The Raid 2: Berendal
>The Man from Nowhere

So get in here /b/ros
137 posts and 15 images submitted.
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The village, Forest Gump and Dark Knight
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>>565576151
Hey OP. How familiar are you with Korean movies? I can recommend many.
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>>565576151

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance blows away Old Boy.

> 2046
> Chungking Express
> Shaolin Soccer

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