Just came home from work.
Now teens!
No cp please!
cp request detected
Go on
come on /b/ros I wanna hear how fuck up you were in high school!
>>553084638
Posted on 4chan
Pushed my teacher off a chair
she broke her arm.
Made it look like an accident.
Bitch had it coming
>17 tabs in a teachers H20 bottle
>not me but oh well story time niggers shut the fuck up
>teacher rolls up
>PAPER IN MY WATER BOTTLE?
>OH WELL
>Last 15 minutes of class were taught by a wizard
>Final bell, everyone rats out the kid who did it near-simultaneously. Too funny.
Hey /b! let's a get a good Self shot thread!
>no cp. let's make it last!
>>553083274
>>no cp
OP is virtually begging for CP
>>553083836
patiently waiting now
>>553083274
bump
SNAPCHAT THREAD
Username: itsallaboutiz
she's gonna be a high school freshman next year. not sure if she likes dick pics so i guess we're gonna have to find out. will post pics of her for you sick fucks
you faggots better post some snapchat usernames
>>553097657
no thanks, i'm good.
Sedgyfergo
>>553098381
you're a faggot
what the fuck is this, /b/?
>>553084402
it's a power relay
I believe that is the flux capacitor for a faggot detector.
>>553084402
Relays are used where it is necessary to control a circuit by a low-power signal
Relays were used extensively in telephone exchanges and early computers to perform logical operations.
YLYL thread go.
>>553068349
wot
defuq
Ask an Australian copper anything.
NSW.
Yes, same from last year.
>>553063957
Why does your country football team suck so much?
is there any way to get a proper cop hat, not a cap, with the emblem?
>>553064118
because australians are good at every sport that doesn't matter
Some faggot made a video explaining why he left 4chan, how do you feel?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhx6IfKrvEQ
This was the thread that was made a few days ago, and I thought I wouldn't care but by the end of it I did.
Dude was a self important/self righteous ass. I was bothered, so I decided to make a counter point video. Finished it the day of, but I didn't publish it until just now. I figured I'd make this thread for the hell of it. A couple of Anon's wanted to see the video, so I figured maybe some body might want to see it too.
Either which way I think that guy's a super fag.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLt3vKWgJKI
>>553033579
I find it hilarious that you say that so much.
>>553033579
The problem was he only used 4chan for /a/ and /jp/.
Measure up time /b/
So I recently heard that the average woman takes 11 minutes to get fully "warmed up". And that the average man ejaculates in only 3 minutes. If most people have sex like this on the planet that's just sad and lame to me.
My wife complains when I take too long to stick it in her, begs for it, and even tries to mount me before she's all that wet sometimes. I think I average AT LEAST 15 minutes before I release that sweet juice in her...
So what's your averages?
>>553058472
5-10 mins for the 1st nut, 15-20 after the 1st time.
45 mins -forever if ive done coke
Hit or miss with alcohol
30 mins or so if stoned
Depends. When I have her over I usually force her to take a shower with me and feel her up and make her wash me. Then I'll put her in a diaper and we'll watch like Vikings or some shit. After about two hours of calling her a good girl and playing with her body she's practically begging to suck my dick. I allow her to do so but make it apparent she's not doing a good enough job. So then I'll fuck her for .. eh.. 15-20 minutes while she drips all over my god damn couch and I yell at her for it. When I cum in her she'll prance to the bathroom doing that "Jizz is inside me walk" and then I'll force her to make me tacos as I play video games.
.. so my average is about the same as yours.
average of 45-90 minutes for me
gf sometimes goes dry before i finish
Caliber for suicide?
So, I've decided to use a gun. What kind of gun would be the best to end my life? Obviously a shotgun, but what kind of bullets and caliber?
Also, what kind of hand guns would be good? I'd guess 9mm is too small?
...you shouldn't be handling guns if you don't know that shotguns use shells which re measured in gauge, not caliber.
Just stab yourself or something.
>>553070516
Why do faggots commit suicide you fucking lost @ the game kid
>>553070730
fuck your fancy words you elitist faggot
Starting a "too young for their tits" thread now.
f5 f5 f5!
>>553061567
this is /b/
there is no such thing as "too young"
regardless of tit size
inb4 404
65 decides new face of anonymoose
go
>>553059081
If post ends in 2 then this is new face.
FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
Post the cutest butt pic you got
>>553055331
nobody can beat that one OP
>>553055331
Work stories thread???
>Work at Carls Jr
> shift leader calls me
>"what happened?"
>someone made a mess in the women's restroom go clean it
>"Im on 30 minute break."
>I don't care go clean it.
>"fine..."
>walking in with mop and bleach
>fucking diarrhea on the floor
>look inside the trash and there's soiled jeans
>I take 20 minutes to clean all that shit up
>throw away trash and used mop
>go back to break room
>alarm goes off, break is over
>fuck fast food
I took pics of the fucking mess
>Work at walmart
>Everything about it sucks ass
>I quit
Too many stories to tell really. The one that stands out the most is when I got robbed at gun point and after giving my story to the police my manager wouldn't let me go home early. I literally JUST GOT ROBBED WTF
>>553046000
Post pics?
>>553046328
Please do tell
I have already shared this story but most anons demanded a longer, more detailed and proofread version so here you go.
My wincest story 1.2
One anon offered proofreading but it does'nt seem necessary since I took my time writing this. I guess the mistakes won't be too bad.
Let's see how long this will become in the end.
(About 18 posts, gotta watch out for bumplimit and maybe split into 2 threads. We'll see.)
>inb4 pics
There won't be any pics of her. I could look up girls with similar body types like the Tasha guy did but that's it.
Pic related by the way. It looks close to her when she was 15.
For a better overview i will split this into several Chapters and like every story does, it starts with the
Prologue - My Family and I
I used to live together with my Parents and my younger sister. Let us call her Judy since we did that in the last thread aswell.
There never was anything special about us. Just a regular Family in a little city in Germany.
My mom worked as an elderly care nurse, my dad worked in an insurane agency.
Pretty much everything about us was average.
And then there was Judy.
She was a cute girl. Always has been. Light brown hair that, back in those days, almost covered all of her back.
Deep green eyes and a cute little nose.
A really fine looking girl. From a realistic viewpoint without my special bond to her probably a solid 8/10.
Those were my thoughts about her when she was 12 years old. I was 14 back then.
I basically started to feel attracted to her the day she started to develop female features.
At this time her breasts started to grow what, in return, made me grow aswell.
I would now start to spend almost all my sparetime with her.
We started to share the same friends and grew pretty close. Nobody suspected any intention there. In fact our Parents were damn proud about us getting along so well.
And really, our relationship grew as strong as a brother and sister relationship can grow over the next three years.
>>553061060
All of that in the somehow ridiculous hope that one day she might forget that we were siblings.
She didn't.
In those 3 years I couldn't get any closer to my goal wich wasn't a puberty imagination anymore but turned into an obsession.
I wanted her.
Sure, I have seen her naked occasionally since we completely lost our shame infront of one another but I wanted more than to fap over these pictures while I was under the shower.
It took me those 3 years to realize that I wouldn't achieve anything the way I was trying to.
And somehow this made me mad.
We were perfect together. We just worked in any possible way and the only thing that kept us from being together was a sensless social convention.
I needed a plan and I came up with one.
Chapter I - Operation desister
How can you get a person into breaking a taboo?
How can you manage her into throwing away something she has considered moral standards for all her life wich is 15 years by now?
In my opinion you have two possibilities here.
The first would be to convince her that it was worth it. That the reward would make up to it. I tried that and I failed.
So I was left with option two, remove the taboos and make it something perfectly fine to do.
So since in my thoughts the only thing keeping us from having a sexual relationship was the fact that we were siblings I just needed to change that.
Easy one.
I starded to search through the internet. I looked up any documents required for an adoption and the adoption certificates as well. I trained with Photoshop.
I even ordered a customized stamp that I designed to look like the stamp of an imaginary Orphanage.
And then i begun. One after another I faked my sisters adoption. I even faked a medical report stating that our mother has gotten infertile after some complications while giving birth to me.
It took me several months for everything to be perfect but then the big day came.
>>553061237
I remember walking into my sisters room without knoking. She smiled but her smile froze when she saw my look of half shock half sadness.
I had trained this expression pretty hard.
'What's up Phil?'
She asked.
I remained silent and just handed her the papers. Those papers that I had even aged to make it look realistic and still I feared she might think of this as a prank because I didn't know that I would have the guts to speak out the lie.
She didn't.
While she was reading her eyes became bigger. They instantly filled up with tears.
'I found this in Mom's drawer. I've been looking for money and then...'
I muttered. She began to cry.
All of a sudden I felt really shitty for what I had just done but it was too late to simply turn around.
I spent the next two hours comforting her. I told her that this changed nothing, that I still loved her and we were still the same people.
I even managed the masterpiece of this act. I convinced her not to talk about this. To no one.
I told her that this would get me in trouble for searching through Mom's stuff. That we would wait for the right place and the right time and that we would confront them together as soon as the time is right.
Something inside her just broke. I clearly saw it.
But she thanked me for my support and spent the night in my bed. She had done this several times before when she was sad. This night we hold eachother really tight.
Over the oncoming weeks our bond grew even stronger. Literally not a single minute of a day passed without having Judy around me.
She was sad. In fact never before had I seen her this sad. My Parents thought that to be some kind o puberty depression and asked me to care of her.
I gladly did but it wasn't even necessary since she wanted to have me as close as possible anyways.
I was the one she trusted while she felt betrayed.
The irony.
And there was me. Doing something like this to a girl as cute and innocent as her.
>>553061338
She would cry on my shoulder, sleep in my bed, come to rest in my arms, talk to me, be silent with me, she shared her life with me.
And then I noticed it.
The way she looked at me now. The way she held my hands sometimes. This little girl, my sister, so full of sadness and confusion, developed feelings.
I stopped being her brother.
She was about to fall in love with me.
Then this evening came.
It wasn't special in any way. Just us playing some Vidyas together in my room.
She gave me a few deep looks from her side. Almost as if she was up to something but she didn't know what to do.
I did.
I remember that I let her beat me. Then, in staged anger I threw my controller away.
'Screw it anyways.'
I said.
Then I kissed her.
I simply leaned in and pressed my lips upon hers. This wasn't the first time we kisses each other on the mouth but the way I held her, the fact that I pressed myself against her and maybe the fact that I didn't stop made her realize this was different from a little peck.
The first few seconds she was paralized in shock. Then it happened.
She kissed me back.
Our tongues stayed in our own mouth and this first kiss was mainly ruled by adrenaline and fear.
But this is the kiss that I will remember till the day I die.
![Patronen[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dM3AVZe.jpg "Patronen[1]")
