any motherxson wincest stories? sadly i have none
pic semi related
boomp
shoot
well?
I promised I would return with the finished story, so here I am my /b/rothers.
I will be reposting the entire story since I've make some edits/additions.
Bump if you're interested.
~
Good evening /b/.
Let me tell you a story about Leah the Landwhale. I still can't believe this shit is real life.
Keep in mind, this is a long story that takes place over ~3 years.
>be autumn, 2011
>childhood friend of mine (let's call him Rob) is a freshman at university
>he was always a gfless beta virgin with no backbone
>lets everybody walk all over him, even some of our friends
>he and his friend/roommate Brandon start partying every weekend at their uni
>Brandon starts bringing (decent) bitches home, but no luck for Rob
>one can only imagine the jealously Rob was feeling at this point
>come 3-4 weeks into their first semester, they attend yet another house party
>Rob decided to get really fucking wasted that night
>enter Leah the Landwhale and her retarded fucking friends
>for reference, I'm 6 ft and 160 lbs
>she is probably about 5'2 with the body of a potato-pear
>Leah the Landwhale's arms are even larger than my thighs
>bitch is probably over 350 lbs
>at this point, Rob is leaning on a couch trying to keep his balance because wasted
>this coy cunt has one of her friends approach Rob
>friend casually asks Rob "Are you a virgin?"
>Rob being in a drunken stupor nods his head
>she points at Leah the Landwhale and asks "Would you fuck her?"
>he nods again
>LtLW's friend gives the signal and she approaches Rob
bumpin
pls moar
>>551953514
>LtLW is the typical self righteous hambeast
>actually thinks she's sexy, or at least pretends
>wears teencore shit like hollister and abercrombie, as well as leggings (I've seen her wear them, absolutely disgusting), and fake ugg boots
>starts grinding on him like the whore she is
>he actually nuts in his pants
>as the party dies down LtLW asks Rob to walk her back to her dorm because she is afraid to walk alone (as if anyone would rape a whale)
>he agrees
>when they arrive she asks if he wants to spend the night
>he says okay and enters her dorm
>her roommate (also a landwhale) is there, but LtLW is a shameless slut
>proceeds to pounce on Rob
>Rob falls back onto her bed as she aggressively strips off his pants
>slaps his dick through his boxers a couple times
>literally tells his dick "wake up little Rob-cock"
>the crazy shit this bitch says and does is just beginning
>LtLW slips his dick through the dickhole in his boxers and starts gobbling his cock like a thanksgiving turkey
>he can't get hard, probably because it's first time doing anything with a female
>she proceeds to rape his mouth as she grips his testicles
>this was his first kiss
>after 15ish mins of trying to get him hard, LtLW suggests he go down on her
>cannot comprehend the stink and sight of her landwhale vagoo, just writing about it makes me cringe
>according to Rob, her thighs are ridden with stretch marks and she has an awful case of beef curtains
>Rob can't find her clit so she smothers him into her blubbersnatch in a drunken fit of whalerage
>she eventually gets off and passes out shortly after
>Rob fortunately escapes landwhale lair with a sliver of dignity
FEET THREAD
No Pedoshit Edition
Dirty feet welcome too.
The DnD thread rises! DM is not needed, just 4-5 players!
Respond to this post with:
>Name
>3 Skills
>Equipment
>Backstory (Optional)
Also, sign every action post with:
>Name
>3 Skills
>Equipment
0's are auto-wins, 1's are auto-fails. Otherwise, higher roll number = better outcome
>>551937538
OP himself will be:
>Ian the Tech Guy
>Ian is your average nerd. He's tech savvy, and he's into things no average person is into, like comic books and cheesy board games
>Spellcraft, Tinker, Butthurt Rage
>Polo shirt, Khaki slacks, throwing pens, Digital Sword
For those who may know me, I usually play as Thodan.
>>551937538
DM here, please consider the time put into these. These often last 5-6 hours. Do not join if you do not plan to stay.
HEEELLLLL YEEEEE
>Beelzeclaus
>The ability to summon random gifts whose contents are dependent upon the roll, deception, and an overwhelming stench of candy cane.
>A Santa Demon from the nth demension, born of coals, and the evolved form of beelzeplum.
>Giant candy cane sword, ornament bombs, and flight using christmas miracles.
I'm serious.
Today, my doctor told me I masturbate too vigorously and have to stop jacking off or else I will cause even more damage to my dick.
How was your day /b/?
>pic related, basically what my doctor said
Not bad, pic related
>>551941206
not nearly as funny as yours holy shit good show OP
Horrid. I was chased around by some retard with pants on his head.
So... I'm bored. Rate my body /10? Ask me anything. I'll reply a photo of my face. Rate that too. C'mon /b/. Entertain me.
fat/10
>>551933754
7/10
I can't see dat butt, so it could change.
>>551933754
Here's my face
11/10 faces.
Post them.
>>551937521
bump
Post the fucking sauce or I will cut you
>>551936551
NIECCA, U BLIND?
Ask a guy who just was George Zimmerman's waiter anything
>>551930301
Did you leave him a tip?
>>551930358
He tipped me 7 dollars
>>551930301
Implying Zimmerman is even a real human being
>2014
Still believes in Zimmerman
Can /b/ please help me? Im fucking depressed... I played runescape for about 6 years and finally got torva chestplate/bandos and sgs recently. I had 100m carried wealth. I went into low level wilderness, not expecting anyone to be there, but a few guys were waiting for me (because ive been going through there more than that one time) and ganged me. I lost everything, and that was basically my whole life. Im fucking sad and depressed. Can anyone PLEASE help me out? 1-100m, anything. I basically have nothing left in my life... my rs name is "schmitty249"
>>551936285
i dont play runescape sorry
Just waste another six years of your life, I already gave all my wealth away.
Just get 99 smithing.
can you give me more xray penatration pictures, please?
>>551933751
bumpo
>>551933751
id be afraid to break the glass.
bompan
ITT: grils
>>551927136
22 yo on holidays
>>551919139
bump
14y/o on school days
There's a party in my pants and everyone is cumming...
Funny autistic stories thread?
Funny autistic stories thread.
>Me
>In grocery store getting dinner with girl
>suddenly a wild autist appears
>little boy like 10 or 18 or some shit
>running around yelling "PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE" over and over again
>mother frantically trying to calm him down
>"JEREMY! Remember your calm place!"
>He finally calms down and she gives him like some faggy toy to focus his semi-tardo attention on
>Turn to girl
>"Let's follow him"
>Walk right next to mom with kid
>"Hey babe, did you hear about the PLANE crash the other day?"
>Autist perks up
>"PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE!!!"
>Mother glares at me, and runs over to calm tardo down
>Proceed to do this for an hour straight
>Laughed so hard I literally peed
>In my Hugo Boss undies
How bout you guys
>>551925523
you're just a bad person OP 0/10
>>551925701
nerd
We need more like OP.
Fuck retards.
ITT: If your ID contains a + or an x, you must post a pic of your ass and other anons rate.
Timestamp if possible. Easy mode: just your bare ass. Hard mode: sharpie in pooper.
>>551914657
post ass OP
>>551914657
rollin
>>551914785
Wait a sec for timestamp
loli continuation thread !
![IMAG0059[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/6yPQit8.jpg "IMAG0059[1]")
