Archived threads in /tg/ - Traditional Games - 1379. page
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Post the most humorous player deaths you can recall.
For me, it was in my very first game. DM had us chasing this bullshit wizard whos special gimmick was creating portals. He could create a few portals at will, but most of the time where the portal ended up was decided by a D20.
We eventually corner the wizard in a castle. Rogue wants to hit him with a special poisoned arrow so even if he gets away, he'll still be messed up.
Holy Paladin decides rushing in blindly and fighting him 1 on 1 would be smarter.
Wizard ends up in the dungeon, and hides...
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I once played a game of Magical Burst where a player tried to protect themselves from a boss monster by putting up a barrier around their space.
Said boss-monster was one of those types who was literally merged with the environment and flooded the barrier with acid while the player were trapped inside.
I wasn't even being a jackass GM, I made it clear the other players could have helped her break the barrier in time if they wanted... but apparently abandoning their friend to avoid taking a few extra hits themselves was the better option.
A robot character player bought a ton of remote detonation C4 and had planned to use it.
Without letting him know, we filled his backpack up with the stuff and he went to negotiate with some nasty people. Unfortunately the BBEG showed their face and with lackeys at the meeting, and surrounded our guy and were basically going to just curb stomp and kill him. Right before that though the BBEG gloated and asked him if he had anything to say about the situation.
Our guy said something along the lines of "Man, I wish I'd gotten a self-destruct mechanism."
It...
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>>44049224
This is both terrifyingly depressing and funny to imagine. I'm picturing someone like slamming on the side of a fish tank as they're melting/drowning and the rest of the party being like "Nah, she'll be fine."
how do i get paid to dm
>>44048978
Be a grill and stream on Twitch
>>44048978
You know how every nerd dreams of hiring a bunch of prostitutes just to play D&D, right? The girls walk in.
"Ladies" the nerd says, "contrary to expectations, we will not be having sex tonight. We will instead be playing... Advanced Dungeons & Dragons!"
"What the fuck?" Tammy says "We better be fucking getting paid for this shit."
So, here's what you do, OP.
>Step One
Be a prostitute
>Step...
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>>44048978
Do it professionally.
>Banished all the original Terran XIXth Legion spess mehreens to deep space because reasons
>Years down the line, Raven Guard start having a bit of a serious numbers problem
>Thinks best solution is clearly genetic manipulation
>Ravens end up with most mutated geneseed not in a Chaos Space Marine
>This goes about as well as one would expect
>Finally loses his shit, fucks off into space, quoth...
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>>44048975
Grief fucks with people man.
His Legion was sent to the forefront of the Drop Site Massacre.Which is Emperor levels of retarded actually. Send the sneaky cheeky breakie Beakies to a full frontal assault.He wanted to have his Legion help the Imperium so he tried.
I wont fault him for that. Corax is one of the more sympathetic Primarchs in my eyes.
>>Banished all the original Terran XIXth Legion spess mehreens to deep space because reasons
Its because...
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>>44049209
>But at least he made the Carcharodons eventually
Space Sharks are confirmed loyalist Night Lords.
Out of the three following buzzwords, which describes the worst type of Roleplaying character? Which is the most bearable?
>Edgy
>Random
>Kawaii
Edgy is the most bearable out of those three. At least one can be dark and brooding and goal oriented.
Random is the destructions of a goal oriented party. Kawaii is the disregard of goals generally in favor of being "comfy".
Worst: Random. You can have a character grow out of being edgy or being cute naive moebait, you can't have a character grow out of being a flawed randumb game-ruiner.
>>44048410
I'm going to say "random" is the worst. I feel like "kawaii" would be the easier to work with by a hair but I don't think I've properly encountered it myself.
This is the start of the story of a bunch of acolyte techpriests who had the gross misfortune to be assigned from their previous posts to a miniature space hulk, and then be charged with keeping it flying. Omnissiah help them.
Imagine, if you will, being crammed into a shuttle with fifty other assorted tech-priests and sundry tech-people. You’ve been told that you’re being transferred, by order of the Magos Juris, from the life you’ve known for the past several years - possibly your whole life - to another ship, because that ship’s Tech-Priesthood had fucked up...
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oh boy here we go
>>44048143
So there we were, disembarked onto the worst ship. We were five, though we hadn’t gotten to know one another yet, and four of us stood out in a crowd of tech-priests:
Devi 'Blue' Solaria, Blue is a Voidborn teenager with brilliantly blue hair the color of glass cleaner. She looks nothing at all like a techpriest so much as a girl in a robe; in fact, she wants to be nothing but a girl in a robe; without the robe. Initiated into the Adeptus Mechanicus as a Factor of the Lathes, despite being nowhere...
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>>44048177
OH BOY! MAKOS READY!
archive.moe/tg/thread/35228347/
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Accidental Idol Crime Quest
https://twitter.com/Chromatikeikaku
As a NEET extraordinaire, you were not the kind of person suited for the outdoors in any measure. The Sun itself was an enemy. The wind and air slapped you in the face. Heat made the skin sweat off your awkward bones, and the chill of Winter froze you to the core. And that wasn’t even considering the crowds of people who lived...out there. Disgusting.
And yet, here you were - outdoors, in the cold, beneath a bright...
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