Old one died, let's continue scalefagging here and here only.
ITT: Post cute Flutterbutter
>>27239171
Impossible
Post whatever image you want
and for all the foot fags, bee sting fags, nyxfags and other assorted cancer, you are welcome in my thread
>>27237131
>lol post ur /trash/ here!!1
ugh, fuck, this is only going to become more consistent as we get closer to summer.
"QM's can be shitposters too!" Edition.
Quests usually take a week off between every thread right? Sure.
Welcome back to the quest the won't stay dead despite all the bad omens that keep trying to warn me about the impending calamity it's sure to inflict upon humanity. By humanity I mean a few small audience of a niche sect of a fandom that, according to numerous sources, is rapidly entering a comatose-like state.
When we last left off I was eating food, now wait as I continue to eat more food. No but really.
>You found out what that funky backscratcher did
>You got assaulted by an especially aggressive hat
>You discovered baltimare
>Tipped off the police about the attacked town
>Harbored a fugitive
>Made some food
>Met yet another womb bearer to add to your harem
>Played daddy to a foal sized mare
>Suffered through some horrifyingly bad prompts
And that's pretty much the gist of it.
Remember: If you dig yourself into a metaphorical, literary hole the answer is NOT to stop digging and climb your way out. What you're supposed to do is keep digging until either you've popped out of the other end of the planet known as "The Plot" or burn up in the molten core, hopefully triggering movement in the fault plates and releasing burning lava up to the surface destroying all.
Now give me a second, I spent all my time writing this bullshit I forgot to write for my actual quest, lovely.
>>27236534
>>27154376
>>27154378
>>27154434
>>27158188
>Figuring you have no other option You find the nearest phone booth and give Puya a call from her special number.
>The voice that answers sounds like Puya trying her hardest to put on a gruff voice.
>"Who is it?"
"Err, it's Horsey. Puya, what's with that voice?"
>"Oh dang, you could tell it was me? I'm trying to keep a low profile, some of the stuff I sell requires a bit of, discretion. So you're interested in some more useful spices right? I'll send you a three pack of some of my most ordered. You're staying at Nutmeg's right? It'll be there when you get back, and just for you the first one's free. Talk to you later."
>After talking with Puya you make your way to the police station to see how the investigation is going.
>You walking and the secretary shows you into the captain's room.
>"We meet again."
"Er, yes SIR."
>The captain smirks
>"So anyways, the guards have sent a report saying they found that town of yours. Damn thing was totalled, they were able to find 11 survivors amongst the town and three of them had to be flown out to a hospital with critical injuries, they're up at hopevale hospital if you wanted to go visit them, see if they're any folks that you know. I'm sorry son."
>...
>"You said the town was being attacked by monsters right? Well the guards report that when tey found them they denied any such attacks, claiming they'd been camping and were attacke dby timberwolves though investigators haven't found any signs pointing towards them being there. Do you have something you can tell me about all this?
>>27236667
What the fuck?...
If anyone would convince them to lie about what happened it be that batshit insane priest.
Mention to her that he wanted ponies,(and even a gryphon or two, Garey will attest to that) to go into a ruined castle to find some artifact thing. Not sure what it was supposed to do, but I have a feeling it was supposed to do something about the monsters.
We are also sorry about mistaking you for a mare before, we meant no insult. Besides, you're attractive either way.
On a different note, we should get a pregnancy test for Angel, iv'e been wondering about that for a while. Not sure how well the whole thing sits with me to be honest.
>>27236667
We should bring Garey to tell him about the priest.
We were also sent by the priest to the castle, so he obviously had some interest in it.
It probably helps to dump some of your own contentDarling
ITT: reading, reviewing, recommending, refusing Futaloo's gets, turning your fic into manifestos about suicide, we're at least comparatively more active than the Writefag's Guild, it's alright to talk about an underage girl's developing body as long as you're not a creep about it, Pony Verbs a Noun, gore doesn't have to be shit, to humanise or not to humanise, lore and backstory infodumps, someone posts the entirety of these threads on some forum for some reason, fond remembrance of LtD, Voiceguy's narrations will end up being his downfall, general General discussion, Mary Sues, and deep pondering about the nature of edge.
Burnt out after reading that terrible retelling of a real world tragedy? Still waiting for your hardcover copy of Pirene to arrive? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!
>FIMFiction Starter Kit (recommended fics):
Winners:
http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png
List of nominees by category:
http://mlp-fanfics.herokuapp.com/
>How do I write fanfiction?
Ezn’s guide - http://eznguide.neocities.org/
Politics and the English Language - http://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/
Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - http://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f
>Can you pre-read my story?
Post it on Google Docs with inline comments enabled and give us a link. Keep in mind that we’re too lazy to review more than a few pages at once, and it may take some time for someone to respond.
>Reviews and riffs:
http://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom
>Voiceguy's readings:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt68MpmvEketmqOdHncHI2w
Old thread: >>27176030
First for Futaloo. Also get.
>>27232411Eternal ponies get
The new episode really felt disappointing. Starlight's personality change is way too brutal from her old revengeful self. I think they really missed out on a good opportunity for actually showing a selfish person learn about friendship, instead of going from "Fuck you all, I'm bent on revenge and myself" to "I'm a huge friendship slut pls be me friend" in a week.
Also quads captcha
Dailymotion: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x47z0qb
Download: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B5foVtK-k1OPVzhWSHoxdk9ibW8
YOUTUBE IS UP:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qbd1m02NfUI
>>27229870
What even is this face?
It just looks too unnatural and fake.
A sequel for Crystal Warlock; Quest set in Sombraverse.
Anonpone link: https://www.anonpone.com/virginharder/
Crystal Warlock summary: http://pastebin.com/raw/GBPa5pgR
Character [Body Composition][Inventory][Known Spells]: http://pastebin.com/raw/7kVGUv8a
Last Thread:
>You are Aurora Flare, a pony turned into a Crystal Golem.
>Are currently on a mission to save Sombra’s Legate from Canterlot’s capture.
>Golden Shield is also one of your only friends.
>You are traveling with two foals: Trampled Flower and Scarab Amber.
>You made a stop at Hollow Shades; a forsaken and fogged forest.
>You encountered a group of bat ponies under the leadership of Nightwing.
>You and another bat pony, Meridian, managed to convince him to let you go.
>And now…
“Why am I talking a golem? It’s a long story,” you cut her short. Your steps are swift and straightforward; the sooner you leave this hellhole of a forest the sooner you can forget this idiocy behind. Meridian, the female bat pony, follows you; it seems she’s keeping her word to the high pitched leader. She’s annoyingly close. After an awkward pause, you continue, “Let’s just say I was planned to be just another dead golem but… I didn’t die.”
“You aren’t that old, then. Must been less than a week, else I’d fucking know,” she says, hovering closer.
You pass your gaze towards the canopy, uncertain. There’s guarantee her comrades did not follow you.
“Just so you know,” she continues, “We have ways to deal with dangerous creatures, like you. In freaking case of an adrenaline pumping fight,” the mare salivates, “We would be the ones with a fucking victory.”
“Yeah,” you say with a mental, sadly empty, sarcasm, “Sure. So about that secret deal…?”
Lunar Meridian harrumphs, “I’m not telling you more than you know already. We ‘Lunar Guards’-“
“Wasn’t it ‘Nightguards’?” you ponder.
The mare rolls her eyes and goes through a barrel-roll above your head; she descends left of you now, “That’s just a foolish term Nigthwing came up with. As I was saying, we prefer to be kept in peace and seclusion and it will be stupid of me to trust you now; especially since you are traveling with a stallion.”
“He’s just a colt,” you say, “And I’m exiling them. What’s your deal with stallions anyway?”
“Deal?” she raises her eyebrow at you, “What do you mean? They are stupid, lazy and untrustworthy, that’s all.” She follows with an expression as if this is supposed be the most common thing imaginable.
You answer her with an empty silence. The two of you finally pass through the boundaries of the Hollow Shades forest. Your companions are nowhere to be seen.
The bat pony lands on her hooves with a satisfied smirk:
“Well, now that you got rid of the exiles and they can run wherever they want… Care to tell me about what’s there waiting in Cloudsdale? Last heard there’s still a battle ongoing; you’re a backup?”
>What now?
>>27229209
We have to find them. Call out for them.
As for Meridian, tell her she acts as if mares are not capable of what she described and more. Also, we are to see that someone important to the Empire is returned.
ITT: Our tan. On her own and her interactions with the other boards as well as with the denizens of Equestria (be it in her warped mind or in a more tangible form)
kek, OP
>>27223761
Carl the cuck needed to help me censor it.
My friend was going to post but he got banned for CP when he hasn't even posted today. GG Moot 2
>>27223718
>windows 10
yeah nah
“The gladdest moment in human life, me thinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton
>You are Emery Errant, a curious satyr who has left home and gone off in search of your missing father.
>Guided only by the photos in his journal and his three weird knick knacks that found their way to your door, you begin your travel to six towns in the middle of nowhere in order to find clues about his disappearance.
>But be warned. Not everything is exactly what it seems in these small towns...
Archive: http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/curwhibbles/24150172/
==========
Character Sheet: http://pastebin.com/hEjT26b8
Inventory: http://pastebin.com/a82H9z48
Current Whereabouts:
http://pastebin.com/Laf2Ek5R
==========
>You raise an eyebrow at Mrs. Mayflower's sudden jumpiness. Weird, as soon as she noticed that you were a satyr, she got all spooked like a deer in headlights. Her cheery and upbeat demeanor just stopped as if a switch instantly flipped inside her brain.
>Is there any chance she's speciesist? After all satyrs aren't exactly the hottest thing since slice bread to a lot of the older pony population. Or maybe it's something more similar to Amara's situation with the photo, and something (or someone) is making her clam up.
>It's got you speculative at the very least. In any case though, the clerk seems urgent in getting an answer from you, so you insist on appeasing the mare and start to ask some questions about her tie in to her grandfather, Nathaniel Mayflower.
"Actually ma'am, I'm not necessarily from this neck of the woods and I figured I wanted to know more about the local area and research up on it on the town's history."
>"Weeell, isn't dat nice deary?" Mrs. Mayflower pitter-patters her hooves on the counter. "W-what does dat 've to do with me, though?"
"You're last name? Mayflower, of course." You rub your chin as you observe the mare sneaking glances back at the closed door. "I was just asking to see if you could talk to me about you grandfather, Nathaniel Mayflower? It's for clarification, you see-"
>"Ooooo, tch tch tch!" Mrs. Mayflower shakes her head. "Ahm sorry miss, but I can't help you there. Dat's a matter of business you best be speaking to my hoosband about, you see."
"But ma'am," you begin. "Mrs. Mayflower? Is it alright to call you that? I've taken a real shine to this place ever since I got here, and I'm thinking about settling down here soon."
>"By jove, are ya? Ohooheehoo~!" Mrs. Mayflower beams a grin and instantly she leans over the counter and shakes your hand as if you've won the gold for the Olympics.
==========
(...)
>>27224207
>"Ah, it's part of the charm, I figure! People come from far and wide, from Manehatten to Tacowma, and settle down in our little hamlet, dont'cha know? It may'nt look like much, but it gets a-hustling and bustling come the night, once yer indoors! The neighbors are to die fer and everyone takes care 'f each other here! Pretty soon ya'll have as many friends than you can count with yer fancy calculators! But I guess I was just as smitten like you young folk when I moved here with me hoosband so long ago!"
>Mrs. Mayflower, losing all of her tension from just minutes ago, titters and wiggles her rear to and fro as she leans on the counter and starts reminiscing about her younger days. Though you're still suspicious about what got her so jumpy in the first place, maybe this is a chance for you to ask a few questions?
==========
-Input Reaction ()
>>27224216
We were liking it here, but than we found out that there were people that hated satyrs.
Last thread... lasted a week. It'd be a long ITT to write.
Basically, current mission is to distract a giant while hands help their hand friends escape so they can die in peace rather than be eaten by the giant. Then the hands will show us where the entrance to the second floor of the tower is. Right now a friend of us did what she called a "Partial coupling" with an ancient being to assist us, and is willing to answer some questions before the action beggins.
>INV:
> AJ: Crystal ball, 3 rations of food and water, 7 torches, Hat (Worn), Humorous cow statuette, Cross necklace, Rope, Blank paper
> Mirria: Cape (Worn), 3 pens (Worn), Binoculars (Worn), Ankh necklace (Worn), Soul of Ludwig (Dagger, worn), Mind of Ludwig (Skull, worn)
Last thread: >>27166288
>>27222290
huh
The mare I assume is Ludwig is in silence for a second.
~Do you have anything else to ask? Every minute--
~Don't tell her.
~It'd be unbecoming to not say it to a past bearer of Honesty, little child.
~I'll tell her myself, later.
~I hope you do.
They fall silent.
Bump?
>"Listen dumbass. If we're going to get this anatomy homework done, I need you to get naked."
>>27221672
>"Okay just back sure you capture my lats"
You want to see MY naked body? Hmm, how desperate are you?
>>27221672
"Me get naked?! Why not you?"
>generic stuttering response
"Well I'm not getting naked!"
>Insult towards his penis
"Well I bet your tits ain't any good either you fucking cunt!"
>Insult towards his manhood
"Fuck you!"
>"Fuck you!"
>Intense make out session
>Both get naked
>Hate fuck
>Joke about getting a really good grade
>Back handed compliments
>More fighting
>More hate sex
>Both get an F
>More hate sex
The End.
"I can't ever spell her name properly"
Last one: >>27138553
>Moth Wiki:
http://batponies.wikia.com/wiki/Bat_Ponies_Wiki
>Writers pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/rfngWmsc
>Story Archive (Cloud):
http://derpy.me/Bat_Pony_Stories
>Image Archive (Cloud):
http://derpy.me/BatPictures
http://derpy.me/cheeki_breeki (hot stuff)
>Thread Archive
http://derpy.me/BatArchives
>keekeekee
http://batpon.comuv.com/kee
>>27218589
>I can't ever spell her name properly
I can: Pone with the fattest butt
>>27218626
Arrhythmia
>>27218626
Buttslut
>Ponyville seems to be a hotbed of excitement these days. Between the dragons roosting in the mountains, horrid monsters wandering out from the Everfree Forest, ancient ruins discovered deep in the earth, and the ever-presenting of all-out war between the Equestrians and the Gryphons, it seems like everypony looking for fame or fortune is flocking to this town.
>It is an age of knights, adventurers, dark magics, and destined heroes.
>You are none of these things.
>Your name is Pot Luck, and your daughter's just been foalnapped!
>Or at least you normally are, but right now you're actually August Longhorn, master rancher and amateur investigator.
>With the help of the Royal Guardpony, Sweet Heart, you were able to track down the home of the key witness in the case against Berry the Changeling.
>But she's missing!
Archives: http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/anotherday
Characters: http://pastebin.com/RVB0Hjqp
>"No sign of any maids in the house," Sundance reports as your team of adventurers (and one miner) reassembles just outside the aforementioned house.
>"How do you manage to kidnap somebody in broad daylight?" Azura remarks with a hint of disbelief. "I mean, even if this maid wasn't some stalwart heroine, you'd think she'd scream for help or something."
>"No sign of blood at least, so she's probably not dead...yet," Longshot adds. He then turns to you. "Well August, Pot technically left you in charge - what do you suggest?"
Input action.
>>27215412
Ha, I forgot we were best cow.
Right now our only lead seems to be the broken back door.
We should head out the back and check for a trail or clue.
>>27215501
Check the door. If a pony broke it in then chances are they might have left hoofprints on it from bucking it.I can't remember how it's broken, I assume completely busted.
>>27215412
Checking the back door is the obvious lead, is there any chance a neighbor could have seen things? Or are they all out?It's good to be back here, even if it is just going to be a while
