ITT: Historical embarrassing/funny "wars" and battles
HARD MODE: No emu wars
Starting off with something that took place in my state.
>Your State
Ohioans leave.
>>35189
no
>>35232
A
FUCKING
ACORN
What is the greatest moment in all of history?
The moment we started writing, obviously.
Normandy landings
The "shot heard 'round the world" - The Assasination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
Gavrilo Princip single-handedly set off a chain reaction which ultimately leads to the deaths of 80 million people.
With just a couple of bullets, this terrorist starts the First World War, which destroys four monarchies, leading to a power vacuum filled by the Communists in Russia and the Nazis in Germany who then fight it out in a Second World War.
Considering that all Princip wanted was to bring Bosnia under Serb control, it's a bit ironic that after a century of very messy history, it isn't. Everything about the world has changed drastically over the last century, except that.
Most historians consider the 20th century to have begun in 1914, so in essence, Gavrilo Princip is the man who created the 20th Century.
Some people would minimize Princip's importance by saying that a Great Power War was inevitable sooner or later given the tensions of the times, but I say that it was no more inevitable than, say, a war between Nato and the Warsaw Pact. Left unsparked, the Great War could have been avoided, and without it, there would have been no Lenin, no Hitler, no Eisenhower. Princip is one of the few individuals ever to make history.
Thread for creating /his/-chan to represent the board to all of 4chan.
Ignore all shitposts and feel free to contribute.
First for Clio.
Hi, I'm here to discuss history and things relating to the past.
Can't we just steal a SMT design and call it done?
So what do we call ourselves?
/his/torians seems like the obvious choice.
/his/choolers
>>34919
REKT
>>34919
/his/coolers because we are OBVIOUSLY much cooler than any other thread
Post battles that happened where you live.
Hard mode: nothing from WWI or WWII
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Seven_Oaks
As an european there is a ridiculously high number of battle that happened near my city on in the city.
So i will go with : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Bouvines
>>35372
Pretty cool how it forced king john to sign the magna carta
baka desu senpai
>The Dark Ages
Pure myth.
i'm eternally grateful for the hyper-catholic, abortion clinic-picketing history teacher i had in 12th grade who set everyone straight
The only real Dark Age I can think of is Greek Dark age
>Entire civilization mode collapses
>Entire writing system disappears forever, never to be revived
>The Past becomes entirely mythical
>Regress to nearly neolithic way of life
How much of history do you believe is bullshit? Just totally fabricated and incorrect?
Because history is told using written records by humans, who have inherent biases or may be controlled by people with biases, I feel that it's very likely much of history isn't anything close to how we think things happened. Certain people or even entire civilizations may not have ever existed, inventions probably have very different inventors than who we know of, and in general history is probably just flat out wrong.
Even look at today's news media, is there even a single media source that has no bias? Imagine that effect amplified in a time when mainstream media was just a handful of guys with printing presses.
Holocaust shitposting in 5...4....3...
>>34654
Generally disciplinary historiography ensures the reduction of bullshit.
Norse sagas. I mean I don't know and that's the point. We can't be sure of basically anything from the ancient times and early medieval period.
ITT: We talk about the greatest empire in history.
Mehmet.....
>>34462
>memecenter.com
Point proven.
Iceland?
What happened with Turkic migration? How did it impact the world? did the populations that go to Europe assimilate into Europeans? Did Turks do a mass migration into Anatolia in history? Are Amerindians related to Turks?
monitoring this thread to be honest familiar
uralics, mongols, turkics and migrations make my dick hard
>>34439
The turkic migrations happened hundreds of years after man immigrated to the Americas.
>>34552
Thousands, actually. Didn't the first people come to the Americas 12k years ago?
What made Christianity so appealing compared to other religions of the time that led it to being the largest religion today. How was it so sucessful?
promise of afterlife and charity pre 300 and state sponsorship after 300
>>34418
Idk, but prolly it being the true religion must have contributed to its success
>>34418
It's an all inclusive faith with a loving God at the center.
Now we have a board, can we improve the resources document, add resources to any historical topics such as books, videos or podcasts. Hopefully we can catalogue a lot of resources so it could be stickied. We got a lot of resources that are unsorted, you could sort them if you can't contribute any resources.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rq0gUUpoI1Xi_NKpt7iuUdU2xdQzbwSu-g2BzpG_JBc
A wiki would work better, as users could easily add recommended reading on topics they're knowledgeable about. It'd be easier to navigate too.
>>34225
http://etymonline.com/
I always use it for all my etymological needs, and I like the guy's attitude
>>34626
Sweet, thanks. I'll add it
>Pope Leo X: sold indulgences, killed cardinals. Leo X was Pope from 1513 to his death in 1521. He is known primarily for the sale of indulgences to reconstruct St. Peter's Basilica.
Pope Julius III looted the papal coffers to renovate his mansion in Rome. Julius III was known to have a thing for younger men. He liked to have sex with kids.
>Pope Paul III wasn't just a bad pope, he was a bad dude all around. He murdered relatives, including poisoning his mother and niece, to inherit the family fortune. Paul III was also notoriously corrupt, despite his supposed anti-corruption stance. Any position in the church was for sale and he famously took control of some 45,000 Roman prostitutes and then took a cut of their earnings.
Pope John XII was a notorious sex fiend. He had sex with women and men in the papal palace and when visitors refused his attentions he went ahead and raped them anyway. The same hospitality was extended to his two young sisters. He held massive orgies and took particular pleasure in defiling holy sites, like the tombs of Saint Peter and Saint Paul, with his sinful acts.
"John XII was worthy of being the rival of Elagabalus... a robber, a murderer, and incestuous person, unworthy to represent Christ upon the pontifical throne... This abominable priest soiled the chair of St. Peter for nine entire years and deserved to be called the most wicked of popes."[33]
>"hurr durr God's true church protestantz go to hell if they don't follow us"
Then there was the Borgia Pope who changed the law so he could keep marrying and murdering countless wives.
Seriously, you'd expect us to keep following such a corrupt church and believe these men speak on behalf of God himself?
Who could blame anyone for wanting to separate themselves from such murderous thieves?
>Mass is so sacred tadition if you don't attend church you goes to hellz hurr
The “Mass” began when early Christians gathered together in their homes to share a meal in memory of Jesus, as he had asked them to do on the night before he died (“The Last Supper”). There was no obligation about this originally–Christians got together to pray, hear the Scriptures read, and share the meal because they wanted to. Over time the meal became more formalized and ritualized, and included readings from Scripture. As more time passed and Christians became more and more distant from the time of Jesus their enthusiasm waned and they no longer gathered for Mass so eagerly. So the church imposed a rule obligating Christians to attend Mass at least on Sunday.
>The word church in the Bible comes from the Greek word ecclesia, which means a called out company or assembly. Wherever it is used in the Bible it refers to people. It can be a mob (Acts 19:30-41), the children of Israel (Acts 7:38), and the body of Christ (Ephesians 1:22; Ephesians 5:25, 32).
Damn I didn't know this board was created.
Nice thread.
On a side note, isn't the existence of witches and satanical pact still canon for Catholics today? Considering a bunch of papal bullae like Summis Desiderantes, since the Papal infallibility became a dogma as well during the First Vatican Council.
Why were 20th century decolonization campaigns so successful?
Almost every single one was won by the natives.
>>34097
Changes in military technology privileged "nations," in particular the AK-47 and cheap cultural logistics.
The Soviet Union provided a reservoir of support from 1917 for national liberation struggles, usually by non-comprador bourgeois.
Capitalism developed post-national methods of imperialist exploitation, the United States' economic hegemony over the Monroe Doctrine nations as a case in point.
During and after WWII changing technologies and cultures in the colonised areas produced a generation of able colonially trained administrators who were of the local nationalities.
Only the Portuguese and French really tried to fight it.
>>34097
Lack of manpower of WWII, organization of colonial forces into empowered armies due to having to import fighting forces DURING WWII, support from the Soviet Union, and popular opinion being against keeping colonies in almost all cases.
What if he didn't buddy up with Hitler?
Do you think he would've achieved an Italian Miracle?
>>34054
Define "Italian Miracle" please.
At the very least the armed forces would still be rife with nepotism and inept commanders.
he would have lasted long like Franco and the economic boom in the 60s would not have happened
>>34129
Alluding to the Spanish Miracle
/his/ must read guide
Go!
I've been working on a general history guide. This is my current list.
Egypt, Greece, and Rome: Civilizations of the Ancient Mediteranean, Second Edition
Penguin Historical Atlas of Ancient Greece
Oxford's Brief History of Ancient Greece
Histories of Herodotus
The History of the Peloponnesian War by Thucydides
Anabasis by Xenophon
The Conquests of Alexander by Arrian
The New Oxford Annotated Bible
Penguin Historical Atlas of Ancient Rome
Oxford's Brief History of Ancient Rome
Ab Urbe Condita Libri by Livy
Commentary on the Gallic Wars by Julius Caesar
Rubicon: The Last Years of the Roman Republic
The Twelve Caesars by Suetonius
The Annals by Tacitus
Parallel Lives by Plutarch
>>34186
>no Sallust
>no Polybius
m8
Also OP feel free to include Gibbon in your list, ignore the chucklefucks who shit on him
>>33949
Thompson, Making
Engels, German Peasants War
Kuhn, Structure of Scientific Revolutions
