The Pirate Planet Edition
No shitposting allowed.
Last thread >>69674152
That's Gareth!
/who/ deserves to die.
>>69690867
Pirates like candy!
Just saw this today, it was shit, worse than BvS.
The most predictable, cliche plot ever, nothing interesting happens, continuity even more fucked than normal, cheesy as fuck, insanely forgettable, worst CGI I've seen in a big-budget movie in the last four years, shit acting.
All around terrible, 3/10
>>69690727
What happens? Spoil me, OP.
>>69690727
trailers and posters all looked shit honestly. at least the Sky fibre ad was good
any good crotch shots of munn or lawrence? mmmmmm so sexy
John Cena decides to quit wrestling and takes up acting. You are his new agent. What roles and franchises do you sign him up for to top Dwayne "The Cuck" Johnson?
Capeshit since he's already used to it
MCU. Venom
>>69690437
Need for Speed
Not a single flaw in pic related.
best of the cornetto trilogy imho
>>69690408
sexist as fuck. female remake when
>>69690408
I agree
Is he somehow related to Brendan Fraser?
fraser was 10* better looking than him at his age
>>69690354
>3 films in pre-production
no then
JUST
MY
TEMPO
They did it.
They made a great comedy not about smoking weed.
Shane Black has saved us.
The Goose can't lose
Bow to the Crowe
The Black is back
What does the one bad revew say?
DUDE DETECTIVES LMAO
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/neighbors_2_sorority_rising/
>watch neighbors 1 because people said it was good
>couldn't even make it through half an hour of that unfunny POS
>wonder how the sequel is managing above 60%
>all the reviews are nu-males and feminists saying shit like this:
>"When you add up the film's larks -- young women intent on forging their own pleasures, African-American cops, and gay marriage -- you have a vision of the America waiting for Trump's last hurrah."
>"This wonderful sequel leaves America in a pretty good place: Weed is practically legal, girls are people too, and Seth Rogen is the new Tom Hanks. Get used to it."
>"You're not likely to get drug jokes, slapstick, a dildo-loving toddler and positive gender attitudes in any other above-average comedy sequel..."
>"Nicholas Stoller's film throws up surprises in the way it tackles gay marriage and female empowerment without irony and extracts poignancy from Seth Rogen and Zac Efron's returning man-child characters."
film is fucking dead
>girls are people too
Is this the new "current year"
>>69690186
according to third-wave feminists, women have been second class citizens this entire time! who knew!
>watching anything with the anti white fat stoner kike
![Harry.Potter.and.the.Prisoner.of.Azkaban.2004.1080p.BluRay.x264.DD5.1-FGT.mkv_snapshot_00.37.03_[2016.05.18_18.23.44].png](https://i.imgur.com/QsGC4lC.jpg "Harry.Potter.and.the.Prisoner.of.Azkaban.2004.1080p.BluRay.x264.DD5.1-FGT.mkv snapshot 00.37.03 [2016.05.18 18.23.44]")
Harry Potter fag from yesterday, I'm here to bitch again. So I watched the third movie and have some more issues with the series.
This movie was full of hypocrisy/stupid rules:
Malfoy gets a light scratch and they immediately sentence the hypogrif to death deeming it too dangerous
Yes you could argue it's because Lucius has a big influence, but even so it's fucking stupid compared to shit which happens on day to day basis to the students of hogwarts.
Pretty sure there were countless other worse injuries in the rest of the series that happened to students during class.
In chamber of secrets they made students duel each other and it was fine, don't get me started on the stupid quidditch shit, they break arms and legs all the time, they literally have a tree which tries to kill anyone who gets near it, and that fucking tree somehow is not deemed dangerous but it's instead part of hogwarts history.
The fucking guardian approval to visit that candyshop village, again you don't need the guardian approval for quidditch but you need it to visit a small village just outside hogwarts.
Why didn't Harry save Black immediately after he scared the dementors away, instead he waited for them to capture him, also nobody is fucking guarding the dangerous as fuck criminal nor the bars of the prison are somehow magically enchanted (although you could argue that was Dambldor's doing)
Nothing in the Harry Potter universe makes any sense, it's a book series for children. Shouldn't devote much time thinking about it, even though riffing on it is quite funny.
Dude, don't get me wrong. I dislike Harry Potter, I am not trying to defend it, but you ha e to understand that you will see this kind of shit in every movie and book, so better get used to it. Its fuckin magic.
Every fucking problem in the Harry Potter universe can be solved by the muggles. They have shitty magic we have phones and weapons. Killing voldemort just requires a few shot, try to Curaga a bullet in the head.
The books were written without any type of common sense. And it's ok, because it's a child's book. The universe is made like a themepark so kids can have fun.
It only gets darker at the end, and it's too stupid. Like... really, having suck amazing spells and there is almost no magical research. There isn't any kind of magic proof vest or shield, like... wtf?
>>69691076
>Killing voldemort just requires a few shot, try to Curaga a bullet in the head.
It's not that easy since Voldemort splitted his sould to several horcruxs that i don't think can be destroyed by muggle weapons.
>hero is a simple blue-collar american
>villain is a sophisticated brit
E V E R Y T I M E
Because Americans hate effete mincing """""men"""""
It's a compliment really.
>>69689984
>the American hero is played by a Brit
Every fucking time.
I need some good romance movies. I've been incredibly lonely lately, so something erotic and romantic would be ideal so I can live vicariously through characters. Taboo stuff is fine, I just need some solid films that will arouse me and satisfy the hopeless romantic in me
Barking Dogs Never Bite
You will feel even worse by the end.
In any case, go watch anything by Kim Ki-duk
>>69689739
Is there any dog fucking?
What the fuck was his problem?
He's no Otm Shank, that's for sure.
>>69689587
Which one?
>>69689587
Vietnam fucking shit got his fucking shoe-shine box and got fresh.
Now that the dust has settled, what does /tv/ think of The Dark Knight Rises' opening plane scene?
I liked the part where CIA said "Bane?"
Pure kino
Imagine being CIA in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Bane, you are a big guy, all sexy with your muscular body and bald head. I would totally have sex with you, both my official persona and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck Dr. Pavel in his plane. Like seriously imagine having to be CIA and not only sit in that plane while Bane flaunts his disgusting head in front of you, the favorable lighting making it shine , and just sit there, cloud after cloud, hour after hour, while he perfected that plan of crashing the plane. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking head but his haughty attitude as everyone in Gotham tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, BANE LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his unmanly fucking Lex Luthor head contort into types of wrinkle you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of boy toys and russian nuclear physicists and later superheroes for your ENTIRE CAREER . You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his wrinkled forehead as he sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "statuesque (for that is what he calls himself)" beauty, the beauty he worked so hard for with personal slaves in the previous months. And then the agency calls for another case, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the guards could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking CIA. You're not going to lose your future baneposting over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.
Why do you hate the new Superman /tv/?
>I like where this is going.png
>>69689335
Because of his bongenes
>Superman is thinking "Lez out, lez out, lez out"
John Wayne thread.
John Wayne was a faggot.
>dodging WW2
what a pussy
>>69689308
>Marion Morrison
Why is nobody watching this fucking movie?
It's released to 777 theatres in USA now. Go fucking see this shit goddamnit.
But how do I know I'll enjoy it if there aren't any superheroes in it?
seems like indie bullshit for me pham
I ask myself the same shit, OP, saw it last week and it was such a well paced flick.
![600px-FirstB_603[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jYt6ecg.jpg "600px-FirstB 603[1]")
