ITT: times you freaked mom like the jokester
>>71902313
>be me
>get home after a long day riding around on the train, staring freakishly at cute girls
>take off my purple joker dinner jacket and throw it humourously onto my bedroom floor
>notice how worn the fabric is
>it's covered in rips and brown stains and still reeks of the time I spilled one of my piss jars on it
>pick up the jacket and inhale deeply
>remember all the funny times I've had wearing the jacket
>put it back on, one last time
>one final joke
>stride hilariously out of my room
>travel up the corridor
>creep into my mother's room to ask her to drive me to the shops so she can buy me another white dinner jacket I can dye purple
>my mother is on the bed, four fingers plunging furiously in and out of her quivering vagina
>she's shocked but too close to cumming to stop
>about to back out but the jacket infuses me with the spirit of the joker
>leap onto the bed and whip out my phimosis encrusted dick
>stab wildly at my mothers engorged labia, ejaculating my dark grey semen all over her hand
>collapse on top of her, whimpering "m-mom's gonna... f-freak"
>take the jacket off my face
>I'm actually lying in a gutter
>covered in shit and garbage
>my mom kicked me out six months ago due to my NEET lifestyle
>pop the collar on my crusty tie dye dinner jacket
>point my fingers to the stars like a gun
>fire the gun and bring my finger to my lips and blow
>"See you, space cowboy..."
>tense my bowels as hard as I can and shit diarrhoea down my legs for warmth as I roll over for the night
>it's going to be a long winter
>>71902313
>last week
>mom makes me tendies
>"I made these from scratch, they're much healthier than those microwave ones you eat all the time"
>when she leaves the room, give them to the dog
Ha ha dumb bitch
>>71902395
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
She is the chose one.
Pick 3 of your favourite celebrities.
You can lick one of their assholes
You can lick one of their pussies
And you can fuck one of them
But you can only do 1 of each to them
Who are your picks?
>>71934031
>lick asshole
Daisy Ridley.
>lick pussy
Kim Kardashian
>fuck
Emilia Clarke
>>71934114
Jesus that's awful
>>71934031
>lick asshole
That one chick from Dredd reboot
>lick pussy
That one chick from Neon Demon
>fuck
Scarlett Witch from marvel movies
>movie that takes place in the past
>modern (21st century) music starts playing
>movie about the conquest of Vietnam by the Chinese hundreds of years ago
>Ittu Ainto Me starts playing
>>71933699
>it's an OP can't into anachronism episode
>Drugs expand your mind!
>The US government is fascist/full of nazis!
>Oswald didn't kill JFK, M-MUH GRASSY KNOLL!
>Has literally said "WAKE UP AMERICA"
>"LOL GOATBOY"
Bill Hicks: The Edgy Teenager of the Internet, But For Comedy
I work in the industry, and not many people have actually seen this guy. I am one of them.
I can tell you fellows that this man got vanilla sky'd... he got vanilla sky'd really, really bad.
They have done some plastic surgery to try to make him at least not look frightening, but he will never look like himself at all again.
An announcement will be made in about a weeks time, him and his entourage have all finally decided to throw in the towel. Poor guy just got vanilla sky'd, not much to be done.
>>71933408
Vanilla Sky'd so hard people think he's been dead for 22 years.
How many times have you autistically posted this exact same goddamn thread.
who here /hyped/?
just 2 more days brehs
What's this about aliens?
>>71933251
I've reserved my hype. The fact that it is on Netflix has me about 89% sure it's going to be shit by the last two episodes. I hope I'm wrong, yet prepared for being right.
I'm 12 and what is this
Who'll play him in the inevitable biopic?
literally who
>>71932977
Idris elba.
>>71932977
A white guy
>because he's white
Rank the Tarinto Movies
1. Pulp Fiction = Reservior Dogs = Kill Bills
2. Django / Inglorious Bastards
3. Rest
>>71932924
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir dogs
Django / Inglorious Bastards
Rest
>>71932924
Now that the dust has settled can we all agree that the best part of hateful eight was everyone calling dam jack a nigger over and over?
1. Pulp Fiction
2. Reservoir Dogs
3. Kill Bill Volume I
4. Inglourious Basterds
5. True Romance
6. Kill Bill Volume II
7. Hateful Eight
8. Django Unchained
9. Jackie Brown
>Sometimes I feel very sad
What did he mean by this?
Did OP learn to talk yesterday?
Classic
>>71932955
Where did this meme come from?
Here alone? ...again?
I humbly beg your pardon if I am overstepping my bounds. I don't mean to insult nor do I mean to pry, but don't you get lonely? I see many people walk through these halls day after day but none have so interested me as you do. You avert your gaze to the floor under my attention as if embarrassed or ashamed to inhabit a human body. You stutter and mumble as if this routine transaction is a strenuous ordeal. I see a pain in your countenance sir, you try to hide it under a stoic demeanor, but it is as clear to me as day. What has you in such a state sir? Why does the contentedness that others find so naturally elude you? Who made you like this?
I...I'm sorry if what I said was out of line sir. Enjoy the movie...
I ordered crab legs.
fuckin pseud ass nigger
>>71932651
You know what fuck you, Robert.
>Welcome to regal cinemas
>I'd like some popped corn
>Ma'am, do you mean pop corn?
>>71932501
>Regal Cinemas
>wasting $12 on a ticket to see a movie.
Cinemark motherfucker, or even better, your locally owned cinema.
>>71932630
Off topic but I work at a Cinemark as a manager if you have any questions about the company.
>>71932501
>pushing this meme
you know we're going to have to endure 'popped corn' references for the next several years, don't you?
why are you doing this to us?
tiny onions
what the heck is this?
A Pizza Hut in the garage.
>>71932519
a thic cock
What the hell happened after Karate Kid?
>>71932217
After earth. Need I say more?
>>71932217
Head injury causing severe retardation
>>71932217
no motivation to be a good actor. it tends to happen to rich kids of actors. you need to know struggle to have the drive to be great.
>I WUZ KING
What did he mean by this?
>>71932181
>Dat Jaw
Could be DOOMGUY if he swoled up desu
>>71932181
>1/8th
Only Americans care about this bullshit.
Did anyone watch this show? I just finished it
>dem bright colors
>dat lee pace eyebrows
>all dem tits and cleavage
Chuck is my dream girl 2bh, her smile is too beautiful
>>71931907
Great show. Died too soon.
>>71931973
lets call ned to touch it again
Based Tom
>>71931694
What happened to his face?
>>71931694
Fuck old 4chan for ruining that man's life. Just let him have his cult in peace. Also scientologists are mostly right about psychiatry.
>>71931723
thats the look of a man who gave all his money away to lord xenu
![tw[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/ndH34GZ.png "tw[1]")
![pushing_daisies[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/1iN7ZLh.jpg "pushing daisies[1]")
