found myself in Thailand edition
cara
http://www.manchester-elite.co.uk/
pick me a girl lads
OUR NIGE
I wish I was in a nice comfy coma.
me
>>56443834
they all look a bit weird lid none of them has a face
*Thailad
When I wake up I have a coffee then about 2 hours later have combined lunch/brekky
Been just using mouthwash after the coffee and brushing my teeth after the food
Reckon I should be brushing after the coffee too? (Black coffee with no food) or maybe brush after coffee and only mouthwash after the food?
(Reposting because I posted after this thread was announced, didn't expect it so early)
Think my years of heavy drinking nightly might be catching up to me lads
>>56443786
Well aren't you a special snowflake, sweetheart.
Curse this fetid island
I'm an embarrassment to myself and others
>>56443834
>£180 an hour
FUCK OFF BILLIONAIRE
Do schizophrenics get lonely?
Why aren't you lifting /brit/? My life has been much better since I became fit.
>Clothes fit better
>Skin clears up
>Eat better
>Feel healthier
>Look better to girls
>People respect me more
still autist though. but at least i have more opportunitites
>>56443958
Because I can't be fucking arsed
>>56443958
Can't deal with other people looking at me in the gym desu
Not a fan of being seen
>>56443834
sienna
>>56443958
Not insecure enough.
>>56443958
>Look better to girls
That's the main reason you lift though isn't it lad? Any lasses let you put your pecker in them yet?
brb, taking my wifes son to the park
Might get really drunk on my own tonight, on whisky.
>>56444059
>my wifes son
>>56443958
Unironically pretty ripped despite never having worked out.
Not a skinny autist either, I am 160lbs.
>>56444045
it started off as the main reason yes. but then it just became habbit as I just feel better overall from it. Can wake up earlier and get on a productive schedule easier.
>>56444080
Hello! Welcome to 4chan!
>>56444059
>wifes son
Thiink i'm losing it haha
New flat lads, any ideas for furnishing my living room?
>>56443816
Thanks la.
I don't watch TV so I'm considering not getting one, and maybe putting my desk in the living room instead of the bedroom.
>>56443958
>People respect me more
The opposite is true. You just look like a dumb manual labourer.
>>56444059
>wife
>has a son thats not yours
>Those few minutes of mental clarity post-wank
>>56444208
fuck off racist
>>56444213
>those few minutes of soul crushing loneliness after wanking over your oneitis
>Greens
le fuck??
>>56444184
Well that changes everything, you'll probably want your desk under the window then
I'm slightly mentally ill. Think I'm falling in love with this Polish tranny too, maybe the two are related.
>Her smile.
>>56443958
Because I do bodyweight fitness :^)
>tfw handstand push-ups
>tfw front lever rows
How can lifting fags even compete?
>>56444207
mate it takes forever to get jacked or too big like that.
Instead I just look fit and like someone who takes care of themselves
>>56444280
she's a hog with ugly feet m8
>>56444280
>her
>>56444280
Poleboo 2.0 over here
>>56444249
Yeah that's what I'm thinking.
Still mostly in the planning stage tbqh.
>>56444321
Nah she's pretty and has nice feet, don't know what you're on about
>>56444280
>cheating on me
>>56444087
>Not a skinny autist either, I am 160lbs
>160lbs
Lads I have the worst flu. My muscles feel like I've not stopped exercising for three days.
Can somebody please come and put me out of my misery?
>>56443786
these editions hav been rly funny brit!!
>>56444184
Even if you don't watch the telly you should own one, you can't have a living room without telly the whole thing falls apart.
>>56444372
satire probably
>>56444372
ALL of these comments are actually written by Trump supporters pretending to be Bernie supporters.
sometimes i see things in the corner of my eyes like spiders or bugs crawling up the walls. fragments of past conversations/noises flash across my mind. my skin itches. i shake and sweat in the mornings. being an alcoholic is no fun at all
>>56444459
third eye=wide open
gratz
what is you all second board?
>>56444459
>fragments of past conversations/noises flash across my mind.
I've had this for years, I have no fucking idea what's causing it.
>>56444087
>Not a skinny autist
>160lbs
I literally had people ask me if I had cancer when I was 160lbs.
>>56444372
Post more
>>56444380
You can be in love with more than one person at the same time.
>>56444504
/r9k/
>>56444408
Right there with you lad. Hoping for a six pack by the time it clears up.
>>56444380
>>56444544
"my heart belongs to you, but my cock is community property"
>>56444504
/o/
Do brits not realise that americans use satire as well? I know we aren't as subtle as the almighty humour king brits, but its like you guys think no one else does it
Was watching BBC and they were showing tweets from americans about the election and laughing at them like they were serious, when they were so blatantly satirical that it hit you over the fucking head with it.
>>56444544
Incorrect
>160lbs
lol fatty, i'm 116lbs
>>56444606
LONDON
>>56444397
>>56444528
>>56444606
didn't say I was some stocky rugby player either you cunts. what i meant was that my BMI is normal, nowhere near under or overweight
>>56444596
How do you know, arrogant cunt. Butt out.
>>56444589
this
she came in today lads
https://youtu.be/xGSBp_ODzxw?t=3m6s
>>56444641
Calm your tits, Tommy ten bellies, it's alright to be fat - it's 2016
>>56444504
/lit/
>>56444606
Bet I could rape you easily.
>>56444504
/lit/
>>56444412
I disagree, I get that it can be a focus point but I prefer seats organised around a coffee table. More sociable.
224lbs here
BMI = 30 (OBESE)
except I'm not
>>56444641
Calm your skeletal ribcage, Tommy Twig body, it's alright to be an Auschwitz resident - it's 2016
frying my balls with a heat gun
>>56444606
>tfw 140 lbs
Feel like a fat cunt
doing a poo
Just did the washing up, used rubber gloves and all.
Absolutely gagging for cock. My pussy needs caressing.
gf and i
>tfw 245lbs of sheer mountainous muscle
http://vocaroo.com/i/s16nWfEekD5P
>girl says she's introverted
>look at her photos
>most of them are of her at parties or posing in her underwear
![lt_foster[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RxfKuHL.jpg "lt_foster[1].jpg")
Have quite a strong desire to wear a 18th century red coat and crash an American Football game to see how long I survive for.
I'll be killed but I would forever be considered "epic" by people who upload footage of my death to YouTube.
Don't even know what I weight 2bh.
Probably about 12 stone something.
>>56444731
I gained 14lb since spine surgery last autumn, now I'm 219 at 6'4"
Feels bad, it's all fat gains. I've only lost 3lbs since trying to cut
>>56444837
>Not doing the "oh OOOHH NOW I CAN DO THAT" after the first male part
>Not gruffing your voice up for the "WILL YA HOSE ME DOWN WITH HOLY WATER, IF I GET TOO HOT (HOT)"
Fuck sake lad, what are you doing?
>>56444896
what films that pic from then
help
can't buy etizolam anywhere and need something to sedate me enough for this presentation tomorrow to not freak out
what's the best alternative i can just buy online
>>56444845
I saw a turbonormie girl who posted a picture about social anxiety recently, as if she has it.
>it's "cool" to be an abnormie now
Hmmm
>>56444920
Fat cunt
>>56444059
back, wifes son can't even kick a football.
shocker tbqh
>>56444965
Say that to my face
>>56444937
don't wanna be to loud or else my dad will call me queer
>>56444939
It's a tv show called The Outlander.
might become a convicted nonce from england and flee to thailand
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1SHWAcAPa1D
>>56444997
Not for Meatloaf. Da's love Meatloaf.
going to keep pushing you to get fit
>tfw she has a boyfriend
kill me
like 130 pounds x
>>56445021
>>56445021
Good post
>>56445032
it's shutdown
>he starts clicking the mouse really quick when something doesn't load instantly
might give a leathering to all the yanks in this thread
Want to lick am Australian fanny
Just woke up from a dream where I think I had a gf
Woke up before we kissed
>tfw kissless virgin IRL and my dreams
http://strawpoll.me/7098055
http://strawpoll.me/7098055
![man-smiling-happy-hanging-up-himself-his-thumb-up-30759482[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HPAOgBi.jpg "man-smiling-happy-hanging-up-himself-his-thumb-up-30759482[1].jpg")
>>56445042
>tfw she tells you if she'd met you two months earlier, she'd be with you instead of him
>>56444920
big boy
>>56445032
you sound autistic
Doing my daily 10 mins of Duolingo german
>>56445173
i am. but i still have a gf
>>56445101
I've had them before, ones where I really felt like I knew someone and fell in love with them and I wake up and realise they're completely made up.
Mental isn't it? I bet your dream gf exists in another dimension. Some lucky alternative universe bizarro version of you is shagging her right now.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s08zYyX9M8CC
*saloon doors bust open*
*kev walks in in his chinese fake timberlands clapping on the wooden floor*
*his cheap handcuffs are jingling from his back pocket*
"glass of coke, please" he says.
*he winces in utter disgust at the 3 euro and 50 cent he has to count out*
*he walks over and pulls out a beano mag from his other pocket before sitting down at a corner table*
doing a bp
(big poo)
>>56445124
Do betas actually believe tihs?
Protip: She's trying to make you feel better.
Imagine you're with a girl but you meet a girl you'd have got with if only you'd met them earlier, you'd just get with them
>>56445157
Stop fat-shaming, this is a safe space.
>>56445290
nothing wrong with big boys :3
did a big laugh at this
https://www.rt.com/viral/335793-worlds-first-e-toilet-recycling/
weigh 15 stone and my BMI is 24 (healthy range)
>>56445124
If I would've met her before she got a boyfriend, she'd be my gf.
Makes me sick thinking about it, why couldn't I have met her earlier? Fuuuuuuuuck
>>56445275
Trying to make me feel better about what? I never made a move. Didn't even make the slightest implication that I fancied her, because she's had a boyfriend as long as I've known her.
>Imagine you're with a girl but you meet a girl you'd have got with if only you'd met them earlier, you'd just get with them
I always love when the abnormie KV chime in as if they aren't abnormie KV. You can spot them a mile off. Like that one lad in primary school who'd ask you what a word means and then say "I know what it is but I won't tell you".
>>56445042
>it happens every time
>>56445344
How many scones make up a stone of scones?
large lads
big boys
>>56445299
What do you weigh? Want to know whether I could lift you up.
Just had two croissants with black forest ham from lidl for lunch
>>56445363
>you can spot a KV abnormie a mile away
Please tell me this isn't true
I don't look that weird (I hope)
>>56445389
FAT FRIENDS
>>56445379
only time i've ever had a scone was in ireland when my irish aunt bought them because we were english
>>56445363
I have a girlfriend lad.
How upset and abrasive you're being just because I told the truth suggests it touched home a little more than you're trying to admit.
People don't stay with other people if they can do better, it's better not to kid yourself.
>>56445427
True in 95% of cases.
>>56445379
Considering a scone is about 0.1lbs, ~1400
>>56445299
A tiny bit of flab is alright
>>56445443
Was she being racist?
>>56445454
>I have a girlfriend
>u mad
Fuck sake lad, you can do better than that.
>People don't stay with other people if they can do better
Another shovelful in your quest to dig that abnormie KV grave for yourself. Say something else "insightful" like "people can just leave abusive relationships" or "women are shallow"
>going on a lads holiday
>all my mates go to the gym and are /fit/
>I don't (more /r9k/)
>all brag about how much they're going to pull and have sex
>I don't (apart from this post)
>end up being the only one having sex that holiday
lifting is a massive meme
95% of people in this thread are gonna get bodied
>>56445494
yeah it was at my uncle gregg's
Hate it when the weather's nice. I wish it could be rainy and grey all the time.
>>56445521
Lifting isn't a meme. Lifting for girls is.
>>56445456
Oh
How do you tell if some bodies a KV abnormie? Tell me how to look like a normie.
>>56445521
Verdana.
>>56445533
Is uncle Gregg racist too?
just got a nuisance call off a 0161 number, which one of you fuckers was it
GF wants to visit my house (i.e. my parents house) tomorrow. How do I not embarrass myself? Yes I'm nearly 30, yes I still live with my parents. That is not gonna embarrass me.
Before you ask, yes, I am removing anime images an the like from my computer (not that I want her looking at my computer).
mates gf called me a cheeky monkey the other night
Shit guys Prince Charles is here what do I do?
Just slapped a dog's knackers in the local park
>>56445520
Okay lad.
If being aggressive to people who disagree and assuming that you are the infallible font of knowledge makes you sleep better, go for it.
I'm sorry you get so wound up.
>>56445421
like nine and a half stone
>>56445614
It means you're a thick nigger.
>>56445651
LONDON
>>56445651
nice
>>56445622
>our Charles is breaking into Serbian NEETs houses again
Fucks sake
>>56445520
Holy shit you're a bit salty.
My dogs just made an appearance lads
>>56443836
*puts a sharpened pencil up each nostril*
*slams head down on desk*
>>56445603
send her over to my house for sum real nigga dick
>>56445756
kek
>>56445651
how come the norfolk flag has changed?
So Prince Philip runs the Royal navy?
>>56445787
Asked for it to be corrected, but some amateur made the replacement and I hate it.
>>56443958
i tried once but the only affordable gym in my area is full of moroccans trying to start fights over literally anything
don't like the taste of bleach tbqhwy
>>56445783
I didn't really do it, don't worry.
>>56445774
We are both of Chinese ancestry. Blacks are not her thing.
>>56445631
>>56445709
>umad again
Disappointing.
>>56445774
real nigguh hours
>>56445855
How do I know you're not a ghost?
>>56445818
HATE IT
well it's alri like
if you want a job doing well then do it yourself
today was my 3rd day of muay thai, i could literally knock ten shades of shit out of ANYONE ITT, anyone care to challenge me?
>>56444641
desu I'm not stocky but I'm like close to 200
how tall are you?
also BMI doesn't really help as much, more helpful is blood pressure and fat% since BMI doesn't discriminate between muscle and fat.
>>56445574
Can't even do it. It's like being able to spot a gay before they even open their mouth. Gotta decalcify your pineal gland, I suppose.
Had an annoying bogey so I picked my nose with a tissue and my mum called me disgusting haha wtf
>>56445862
I don't think you can see the irony lad in sperging out and accusing everybody of being a kissless virgin because you don't like what you hear, but then accuse others of just saying
>umad
You sound like an immature prick. No wonder you're posting comforting lies on 4chan to make yourself feel better about why she's taking somebody else's dick right now and not yours
>>56445895
would heem you easy desu
had a mate who lived in thailand for 6 months doing kickboxing professionally
>>56443840
There were times when I could have strangled you. But you know, I would hate anything to happen to you.
I know, it's serious...
>>56445957
>You sound like an immature prick. No wonder you're posting comforting lies on 4chan to make yourself feel better about why she's taking somebody else's dick right now and not yours
Bit harsh lad.
>>56445868
Because my fingers would just disappear through the keyboard when I tried to type. Use your brain.
>>56445957
That's not irony.
>I don't think you can see the irony lad in sperging out and accusing everybody of being a kissless virgin because you don't like what you hear
>You sound like an immature prick. No wonder you're posting comforting lies on 4chan to make yourself feel better about why she's taking somebody else's dick right now and not yours
That is irony.
Thanks for playing.
>>56445860
>We are both of Chinese ancestry
Any particular reason you're posting in /brit/?
>>56445992
>being a fucking newfag ghost
Need to learn from the homeless lad in the underground desu
>>56445966
Good post
>>56446006
No worries lad.
If seeming supercilious on 4chan makes you feel better about 'winning' something you can have it.
My girlfriend's coming round later, wbu? Oh wait, if only you'd known her just ten minutes earlier she'd totally be with you. Damn just how unlucky is that?
gf said i've gotta stop biting my nails or she'll suspend fingering privileges
>>56445964
*you try to heem me*
*I take you down*
*put you in a black tiger ankle wrench*
*hear you scream in pain*
heem that, kiddo.
>>56445860
fuck off gook
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yanVaCqvbkg
>>56443958
>Clothes fit better
Just buy new clothes
>Skin clears up
ProactivPlus
>Eat better
Could've done that without being fit...kek
>Feel healthier
Is this basically like saying "I feel fit" or "I feel like I just exercised". Meaningless tautology.
>Look better to girls
No, you're more confident now that you did what you thought would make you more confident.
>People respect me more
see previous answer.
That's why I don't get fit.
Also,
>still autist though
Looks like you're all around done, lad.
I met a lad at uni, I've known him literally 8 days and he's already told me at least once a day about his depression, his self harm, his fathers drinking problem and his mothers mental illnesses
I just don't get it
What the actual fuck
why is he telling me all this shit? First of all I've only known him for 8 days, I don't really give a fuck tbf (to be frank). Second, why would you casually talk about that shit in real life? ngl I've been/am depressed and I used to self harm and it's not the kind of shit you just talk about, is it.
Absolute mad kid, what's his problem
Haven't showered in days lads my cat won't even go near me
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dtzxIapmwI
first person to name this song will get -**~~1~~**- (ONE) gf
(rhythm's shit, was playing it by ear)
>>56446044
>If seeming supercilious on 4chan makes you feel better about 'winning' something you can have it.
>My girlfriend's coming round later, wbu? Oh wait, if only you'd known her just ten minutes earlier she'd totally be with you. Damn just how unlucky is that?
This is great. It's not often I get to see such cognitive dissonance happen in real time. Keep going lad.
>You sound like an immature prick. No wonder you're posting comforting lies on 4chan to make yourself feel better about why she's taking somebody else's dick right now and not yours
>>56446091
YMCA
>>56446047
do it and wait for her to complain about getting fingered by long nails
>>56445909
never understood this
im using a fuckin tissue gerroff me
>>56446095
It is great lad, you're literally getting upset because you think people actually believe you when you go around telling people the only reason you don't have a gf is because you were two months late.
I'd laugh but it's a bit sad, I used to be pathetic like that too.
Good luck lad, hope you chill out a bit and things get better.
>>56446084
>That's why I don't get fit.
why? because your a salty cunt?
Dog wants to cuddle but 99% of the time he growls at me when I stroke him. Is he autistic?
>>56446091
Wonderwall
>>56446066
*wriggle out of the hold*
*see the pint glass i'd just finish drinking from on the side*
*pick it up and smash it over your head*
*watch you crumble to the ground pissing off blood*
*tell big dave to hold you still whilst i dip my balls directly into your wounds*
>>56446025
>being this knowledgeable about ghost issues
suspicion.
>>56446091
flushed away
>>56446149
Done already? Fuck sake. I was just getting into it. Got myself some Pringles and everything to munch on while you waffled. Why have you given up on your "calling me out for a thing and then immediately doing that thing" thing already? Did you realise how retarded you looked?
>>56446149
You are a patronising cunt though desu
>>56446091
Pink and blue
>>56446215
You're both incredibly sad cunts but I'm not surprised you don't have a gf the way you go on mate. I'm cringing.
>>56446149
not an argument
>>56446167
I like this poetry, are you poet?
wish jamie oliver would fuck off
brits favourite tv show?
>>56446216
But the thing with lads like that is they are the typical 'nice guys', they go around thinking they're just unfortunate and the world would be theirs if they were just a little more lucky.
They can't take criticism and accept they're not that great, so they look externally and blame ridiculous factors such as 'women think I'm great this girl I like would totally be with me but she said I was two months late so that's why she doesn't show any interest in being with me'.
I know because I used to be like that and the only way I grew out of it was by getting told straight.
I'm in a much better position now.
>>56446245
Who said I don't have a gf? Shouldn't be making assumptions there lad. Victim of settling tbqh.
>>56446268
>not wanting healthy school meals
>>56445275
>>56445363
>>56445454
>>56445520
>>56445631
>>56445862
>>56445957
>>56446006
>>56446044
>>56446095
>>56446149
>>56446215
>>56446245
Didn't read a single word of these
>>56446195
just a pottery aficionado desu~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrK5u5W8afc
>>56446290
Luther
>>56446290
>show
FOY
Love Corrie though 2bh
>>56446302
Because you post about feels and how a girl would have beenw ith you if you'd been there sooner. Even if you had a gf, you're certainly not happy with her otherwise that comment would have barely crossed your mind.
>>56446290
Supermarket Sweep
>>56446349
>you're certainly not happy with her
Work that one out all by yourself?
>>56446290
flushed away
>see the red (you) icon
>get excited
>Call my mum, tell her I got a you on /brit/
>she tells me she's so proud
>Look at my post
>See who's quoted it
>It's an "all me" memester
Imagine living in a society where there wasn't pressure on getting a gf.
would be heaven desu
the only people who say "dont worry about it so much" are the people who have already had gfs. KV's ALWAYS worry about it.
>>56446323
sublime post
>>56446367
Yes because
> you're certainly not happy with her otherwise that comment would have barely crossed your mind.
>>56446290
corrie
>>56446268
>muh turkey twizzlers
>>56446152
No because apparently I'm sensible and thus respond sensibly to reasonable arguments. If someone makes a reasonable argument, I don't call them a shit-gargling sarcoma-faced twat; I consider their points independently of their personalities and proceed in a rational way.
>>56446245
Let me guess, you're what, 18, 19? Got your first girlfriend and lost your virginity and all of sudden you're no longer a "beta virgin" you're one of the lads, a real man.
You're so transparent it's unbelievable, get a grip of yourself senpai
>>56446359
Great answer.
>>56446268
>>56446398
he's taxing sugar now
nice nanny state you have here
>>56446398
Knew there was something dodgy about Rana. Don't really want to see Zeedan get hurt though, that family has been through enough.
>>56446409
>This fucking projection
Why is everybody so upset on here today?
Just because you don't like what you hear don't get upset and start flinging your arms around everywhere trying to find problems with everybody else.
>>56446444
fuck off paki sympathiser
>tfw no orgie with rana
JUSTE BAISER MA MERDE UP
>>56446451
>muh projection
>"I know you are, but what am I"
Every time
Golden lel.jog
>>56446503
He shared an insight into his life, nobody else did.
Do you do this in real life? Somebody tells you something against your narrative so you start claiming they're really upset and say 'HAHAHA' until it stops?
It's just a bit sad mate.
>>56446373
None me
>>56446482
His Dad died and his sister became the local slapper. Think the lad deserves a bit of sympathy.
>>56446091
twice ooh ahh
>>56446392
maybe worrying about it all the time is the reason you don't have one
>>56446503
>>56446451
>>56446409
>>56446245
>>56446215
>>56446149
>>56446095
>>56446044
This is the most emotionally-charged /brit/ thread ever.
I'm a fan. Please keep it up!
Thanks a lot!
>>56446432
didn't realise Jamie Oliver had that power
>>56446085
Take it as a compliment that he's confided in you. Clearly he thinks you're a trustworthy person and probably just wants to get a few things of his chest.
slept on kendrick tbqhwy
>>56446432
Good. Should have happened years ago
>>56446582
well that was a bit of an exaggeration, i don't worry about it all the time.
but it is a bit of a kick in the gut if i see people way younger than me with gf's. just makes me wonder where it went wrong, that's all.
just had a 2 sausage sandwich with brown sauce
>>56446539
Well he came across as a patronising twat
"Come here, I was a young retard like you once, come sit on my knee and let me explain to you how the world REALLY works, wow I'm so mature and filled with life experiences"
