We write a poem to Taylor Swift 4 words at a time
>Dear Taylor Swift I
>>599886761
Nigger
Just wanted to say
i wanna cum in ur anus
Continued from >>599811811
We wait for >>599888888
>>599885266
ayy check em
>>599885266
Dubs get
ayy lmao
hitler did nothing wrong
Checkd
>>599887888
check 'em
Alright /b/, I've had fun with similar stuff before, time to start something epic.
This is Oscar Mcdonald. Help him on his quest to be awesome.
1 decides what he does first.
No rerolls.
>>599874237
Masturbate.
>>599874237
He goes to an orphanage
Rolling for suicide
Let's do this. Find the nearest book to you, and open to page 94. 3rd Sentence explains your sex-life. I'll start
>Then imagine the one and only flat plane that constitutes the case between the infinite number of closed and open surfaces.
-Physics for the Rest of Us, Roger S. Jones
>>"That's and interesting way of using---"
- Star Wars Shatterpoint, a clone wars novel by Matthew Stover
>[His] parents seemed more worried about [her] safety than her own mother, but [he] had a lot to do with that since his natural response was to argue with anything they said.
-Small Steps, Louis Sachar
Do people not read books anymore?
Draw thread
Everybody be's bros edition
Please deliver for cancer and feed all trolls, it's more fun that way
dubs thread
>>599871538
first
also, dubs
>>599871538
First
My brother did 6 years in prison for touching little girls, he has been out now for 3 years...
i have to go on a business trip next month for 3 days, should I let him babysit my 7yo daughter?
he said he won't touch kids anymore
>>599879495
>considering to have a proven pedo babysit your children
>>599879728
he said he stopped and barely even looks at cp anymore
Do you want your brother to go back to jail?
If yes, yes. Otherwise no.
Some bitch that use to like me. Get me laid. 5 decides
I am going to finger your bluewaffle pussy while you piss down my arm
Feeling lucky, Punk?
#VaginaPride operation official thread
"We get feminists to post their pussy in order to show they're comfortable in their own sexuality and that the female sexual organ is nothing to be ashamed of."
Discuss, coordinate, execute.
Let's do this.
>>599870655
How about no
>>599870655
I can see where this is going already.
>>599870818
I bet you have a folder dedicated to banana may
>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure
>Women are not
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continuously ejaculate as long as your dick remains inside the vagina
>Women do not
>Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships
>Women can, and most enjoy doing it
>Dolphins do not mind if you fuck another dolphin
>A woman will flip out if you fuck another woman
>Dolphins don't mind if you cum inside. They won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a woman. You can't even get them pregnant
>Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more money. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer whores like women
>If you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like a bimbo bitch who doesn't scare anyone
>Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on them
>Dolphins give up easily
>Dolphins do not demand more rights than men simply for having a vagina
>Dolphins do not organize shitty feminist parades
>You can swim and play with a dolphin in the ocean
>Dolphins are more intelligent than women
Everything a real woman can do, a dolphin does better, without being a bitch. So /b/, how come you haven't fucked a glorious dolphin yet?
So long, and thanks for all the fish
>>599871943
but can they make me a sandwich?
>>599871943
Yeah, but in the end you're still fucking a dolphin.
alright b figure its time I told this story
first time experimenting with beastiality
>be 15
>parents owned horses since I was 7
>parents one day decide to buy a young mare (all horses were geldings up to this point)
>me being sole caretaker I spend alot of time alone in the barn with horses
>one day after feeding brushing out new mare
>get to tail
>notice big horse pussy
>wonder if it's even possible
>figure I'll stick a few fingers in there to judge her reaction
>put in first finger
>holy fuck its warm and soft
>stick 2nd finger in she flinches a bit goes back to hay
>after sticking in 3rd finger realize holy shit she could easily take my D
>pull out fingers taste her pussy off them
>tastesgoodman.jpg
>chicken out jerk it onto her flank and go back to house
>>599862968
>next day
>this is it
>put hay in the stall lead her in and close the doors so nobody could see
>finger her some more
>spread those sweet lips and have a taste
>hard as Diamonds
>strip butt ass naked not even shoes at this point
>grab bucket and set it behind her
>climb onto bucket stroking her flank to keep her still
>try to stick it in no luck
>spit in hand and rub on dick
>try again slid in like fucking butter
>HOLYFUCKFEELSGOODMAN
>so soft warm and wet I stand there leaning across her back in pure bliss
>finally get my senses back
>stand up straight start pumping in and out of that sweet sweet equine pussy
>she stops eating looks back at me
>I see her entire body moving back and forth as I thrust into her
>>599863781
>continue for a good 15 minutes
>so this is what sex feels like
>feel it start to build up at base of spine
>start to go all out
>came with the force of a thousand suns
>collapsed onto her back still inside her
>after 5min laying there panting stand back up and pull out
>watch as gallons of cum spurt out of her
>realize I just lost my virginity to a horse
>imokwiththis.gif
>pet her some more then get dressed and leave
>continue to fuck her at least once a week for 2 years until parents sold her
Can we all take a moment to acknowledge that if your gender identity doesn't match your body then you are mentally ill? It's not healthy to have a disconnect between your body and your identity. Whatever about accepting people who aren't cis-gendered. I accept people for who they are in more extreme situations than this.....EXCEPT when they get into the fuckin politics of the matter.
>>599848499
>It's not healthy to have a disconnect between your body and your identity.
That's why sex change ops exist, dummy.
>>599848884
The disconnect is still there. You just cut off some pieces of you to make yourself fit into the image of how you who you wish you were.
Butterface/ Ugly bitches thread
"Butterface" threads don't happen on /b/. Nobody ever posts butterfaces. They just post ugly naked chicks that aren't morbidly obese.
>>599857121
That said though, op has provided a decent butterface
mother thread
I fucked my mom and two of my aunts
Here's some tips to help you guys out
Obviously, alcohol helps.
You want her to get drunk enough so she lowers her inhibitions, but not so drunk she doesn't know who she's talking to
You don't want to come on to her too hard. Seduce her somewhat slowly. But when things start getting sexual. You want to pull your triggers quickly
She's not likely to back out through talking, but if you're in middle of foreplay, her conscious could get the better of her.
So basically skip as much foreplay as possible and go straight to sex
Remember that she's your mom and use her maternal instincts for you
Mother's want to take care of their children. Child birth and breast feeding(if she did it) gives them the ultimate bond with you.
She's be more bonded with you than any lover she's had.
The best way to do this is look desperate, pitiful, depressed, etc.
Your mom doesn't want to see you in pain, ever. Especially emotional pain. Her brain is wired to go "I have to save my son"
You being a depressed, desperate virgin is the emotional equivalent of you being pinned under a flaming car.
Instead of risk burning to death and lifting a 2 ton vehicle, she'll be more open to fucking you
You have to be very open, frank and to the point with her. Don't try to be vague or beat around the bush. You don't want her 'thinking'
The more she thinks, the more her rational brain will work. We don't want that
While you talk to her, you want to start touching yourself
Act like you're doing it subconsciously.
If/when she lets you know that she notices is when you want to act really embarrassed and ashamed. This is another state your mom never wants to see you in(at least in a serious matter)
She'll want to tell you "it's ok" and all that shit
>>599853366
Keep talking to her about your problems
If your mom is wearing any type of revealing clothing, you want to take peeks at her(I mean, you'll probably be doing it anyway)
But if you didn't a decent job looking her in the eyes, now is the time you want them to wander.
Again, if she notices, you want to look ashamed again.
Soon you're going to want to start touching.
Start with holding her hand(if you're not already)
Then you're going to want to move to her knees. Gently caress her knees
You don't want to do this long. You don't want her thinking about what you're doing
You're then going to want to move up her leg and start rubbing her inner thighs
Soft and gentle rubbing is what you want
When you see look down at you touching her legs. You want to go in for a kiss
Now she'll mostly likely react in a negative fasion.
Before she can object, you want to force yourself on her. Don't try to overpower her. You don't want her to get scared. You just want your bodies in as close proxcimity as possible
While you're trying to kiss her. Keep saying shit like "I'm so lonely" "I need you".
What you do NOT want to say is anything about her being your mom. You don't want to trigger anything in her mind that suddenly thinks "Oh shit this is my son"
If you did a good job of buttering her up, she shouldn't be resisting too much.
The main thing you need to do is let your mom know that you NEED her and she's the only one who can save you from the situation
If she's still resisting you, you fucked up. You can try a last ditch effort of being forceful again. But at this point, she probably made up her mind
>>599853399
Now if she's not resisting you, you need to put the check in the mail immedietally
You want to start undressing yourself. But only to your underwear. If she sees your dick before her clothes are off. That'll probably trigger a red light.
Once you get to your tighty whities, start undressing her pants. Don't bother with her top
Once her bottoms are off, you want to play with her pussy. Just to get it/make sure she's wet.
When she's nice and wet, you're going to take your undies off
Try not to let her take a look at your dick and where it's going.
Now, you can try putting a condom on here. This is kind of a make or break thing.
Get on top of her and insert as soon as possible.
You at one point want to pull out and have her suck your dick
You don't want to just fuck her in the throes of passion.
If she sucks your dick, she's actively doing something to you, and not you having done something to her
So let her finish you off in her mouth
Once you blow your load, you're going to want to do after sex cuddling with her
You want her to feel like she just saved you.
Cuddle with her and rub your face into hers. Say shit like "I love you" "You mean so much to me"
Times when shit like this has worked
>>599856982
genius
See if we can get dem litle girls cut demselvs
