Adventure Thing, part 11
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Oh shit nigger, you're a Barbarian.
You're currently inside the cave of a Necromancer.
What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>318718071
Punch self in face
>>318718071
Ho, Necromancer
would you cast a spell for us?
>>318718071
Ask the necromancer what he wants
>>318718196
You punched yourself in the face
>>318718392
Ask necromancer if he also hates the current king
>>318718392
What Ho, Necromancer
Might you cast us a dark spell?
(muscle wizard style)
>>318718392
Think about how the king has wronged you
>>318718518
"Eh, I don't have any particularly strong feelings about him. I'm indifferent about the King"
>>318718827
If we kill the king I promise you more skellies for you to collect
>>318718827
Throw healing potion at necromancer
>>318718827
ask this commie bastard who he voted for
>>318718827
Offer him the remains of anyone who gets in the way if he helps you kill the king
>>318719028
whoosh
>>318719181
ask necro of the meaning of life....or death, the meaning of death
>>318719181
NEO????
>>318719181
Take his hat
>>318719181
Retrieve thrown potion
>>318719304
"Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks"
>>318719593
Do a funny lil dance
>>318719593
Take necro's hat and wear it upside down
>>318719593
ask necromancer to revive female knight
>>318719593
Ask if he'd like to add the king to his army of the dead
ask him for a boon
>>318719658
"Don't touch my hat. Now if we're done here. I'll have to ask you to leave. I have important necomancer things to attend to"
>>318720064
oh wait, we came to defeat him or something
did you do anything to piss someone off?
>>318720064
Punch necromancer in the face
>>318720064
Wait a minute. You aren't a necromancer!
>>318719181
Ask to join him.
>>318720064
Ask to become the necromancer's apprentice
>>318720137
He summons a wall of bones to block your punch
>>318720473
Use your beard gun to break the wall.
>>318720473
SIC THE PALADIN AT THAT NIGGA
>>318720473
Destroy wall of bones
>>318720473
Punch each bone individually
>>318720473
give it a big dose of that barbarian vitamin D brooooooo
>>318720473
Use a nearby skull as a puppet to convince him you are also a necromancer.
>>318720618
Like mushrooms? Mushrooms have Vitamin D in them
>>318720853
NO, BUT THEY LOOK LIKE MUSHROOMS
BIG VEINY MUSHROOMS
WALL OF BONE
>>318720853
HOLY SHIT A TALKING SKELETON
>>318720853
the necromancer eats it and immediately starts spouting skeleton puns. and he can't top.
>>318721110
Ask if this talking skeleton has seen a necromancer anywhere around here
>>318718071
Take this shit to /tg/.
No actually just fuck off of /tg/ too.
>>318721110
punch him
>>318721202
wow, I wondered why the autist didnt post yet
>>318721403
HE HAD A WIFE AND A KID
>>318721403
SAY A BONE PUN IN RESPONSE
>>318721403
Keep his skull as a pet.
>>318721403
Necromancer is butthurt now
>>318721403
Unpunch him and apologize
>>318721403
flying elbow onto the skull on the ground in slow motion
>>318721496
"DON'T PUNCH MY SKELETONS YOU ASSHOLE|
>>318721685
Find more skeletons to punch
>>318721685
Necromancer summons a cameo.
>>318721685
combine the first two responses in a drawing to this pic
>>318721685
punch a whole group of skellies
>>318721685
Punch another to assert dominance
>>318722031
have him summon a skeleton that defeat anyone in one punch
>>318722031
necro summons something powerful because he is pissed
>>318722031
Ask the necromancer to team up with him now that we beat all his friends.
>>318722031
Confess your love for the necromancer.
>>318722031
Eat the bones of the skeletons you punched in order to get FUCKING RIPPED
>>318722102
Necormancer summoned Hero Skeleton!
>>318722450
Summon punch
>>318722450
punch that bitch in the face, yo
>>318722450
Hero Skeleton is surprisingly vulnerable to being punched.
>>318722450
steal his cape
>>318722450
cast punch
>>318722450
Summon your HERO PUNCH!
Add a cape to it as well
>>318722519
Hero Skeleton blocks your punch
>>318722891
GO PALADIN
I CHOOSE YOU!
>>318722891
Punch using your other hand!
>>318722891
Headbutt him
>>318722891
Headbutt.
>>318722891
compliment his scarf
>>318722979
He counters your headbutt with his own headbutt.
His skull is surprisingly harder than it looks
>>318723398
make cleric attack hero skelly
>>318723398
>surprisingly harder than it looks
Necromancer: "yea thats what your mom said"
>>318723398
Grease your hand up with pig fat and KNOCK HIS BLOCK OFF
Ask the hero skeleton how is life treating him
>>318723398
Drink a glass of milk to make yours stronger.
Bring a Paladin
>>318723398
Slap him
>>318723457
The Cleric imbues his mace with holy powers, but the Hero Skelly jumped out of the way in the last second
>>318723879
Only one thing left you can do.Rape him.
>>318723879
Midair interception by dickass thief stealing the Hero Skelly's source of power, his red scarf.
>>318723879
smile at hero.
he is jealous of your magnificent teeth
>>318723879
now throw holy water at him
>>318723879
Call in the paladin
>>318723879
laugh at the cleric and tell him Krom wouldnt have missed
>>318723879
Give the necro a holy sissy slap. Stop it mister! Change his alignment
>>318723989
"Krom is dead anyway. God ate him"
>>318724228
Original character, do not steel
http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Skullomania
>>318724228
Have the cleric imbue barbarian's fists with holy powers.
>>318724228
explain to the cleric that that is holy circle propaganda and offer him literature so that he may redeem himself and bathe in the glory of victory with Krom
>>318724228
Kick the cleric in the nuts.
>>318724228
shill your toothpaste to hero skeleton
>>318724357
*KLANK*
His nuts are divinely protected
Go grind a for two hours to get 10 more levels
>>318724443
more like a chastity belt
weird hat wearing virgin
>>318724443
Sounds more like you lack them. Poke his eyeholes.
activate barbarian rage
>>318724443
Meanwhile, at the king's palace
>>318724443
Pally use holy water gun
>>318724629
You flash your pearly whites at the skeleton. Your amazing teeth shine a healthy glow, which can only be acchieved by using Coldgate Brutal ™, the number one toothpaste reccomended by barbarians. Perfect for keeping your teeth healthy and shiny while you crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.
>>318725062
Kick Skeleton Hero in his family jewels.
>>318725062
"I dont have eyes, dumb ass"
>>318725062
he joins your party for some of that toothpaste
>>318725062
Hero skelly changes sides because he wants to be sponsored by tooth paste. Cleric uses holy water gun
>>318725118
dangit
>>318725285
give him free toothpaste sample
>>318725285
But you have teeth, right? You need to keep them healthy.
>>318725285
Tell the skull on your helmet to talk to the champion skelly, make him understand youre not such a bad guy.
>>318725436
"Hmm, that is true. Afterall, dental hygiene is very important, even if you're a skeleton. So remember kids, always brush your teeth after a meal, after you wake up and before you go to bed"
>>318725726
Give him orange flavored toothpaste.
>>318725726
Rattle his bones
>>318725726
little peasant kid watching the battle says mom told him not to listen to evil skeletons
Hero skeleton changes sides for toothpaste
>>318725726
Steal cape and wear as loincoth
>>318725797
Hero Skeleton is trying out the toothpaste
>>318726091
He swallows it on accident and dies of fluoride poisoning.
>>318726091
sneak up and hit his elbow
>>318726091
He brushes his skull for good measure.
>>318726091
>it was actually soap from the curch bathroom
>>318726091
Tear his cape in half down the middle while he's not looking
>>318726417
he becomes 3 times more powerful SUPER BARBARIAN HERO SKELETON
>>318726417
ask him if he needs a hand
>>318726417
Inside the eye sockets, as well - there's no eyes in there to poke anyway
>>318726417
Drink of glass while he's busy brushing his teeth.
>>318726417
IT'S TOO MUCH TOOTHPASTE! THE FLUORINE IS EATING HIM AWAY!
>>318726417
It's super effective! Shilling time!
His skull becomes so shiny it blinds everyone
>>318726578
BUt it's okay, as there is no such things as too much Toothpaste when it comes to Coldgate Brutal ™, the number one toothpaste reccomended by barbarians. Perfect for keeping your teeth healthy and shiny while you crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women. As it has been tested by at least 1000 wizards and shamans and one leprachaun to be 100% safe for your shiny and healthy teeth and/or bones.
>>318726893
Steal his scarf, that's where his real power comes from.
>>318726893
Look in shiny skull to see the true form of the necromancer
>>318726893
rub his head pensively
>>318726979
*shiny, mirrorlike
Due to the toothpaste, hero skeleton becomes an embodiment of light and banishes the necromancer
>>318726893
so youre saying its been tested by 0 (zero) undead creatures?
>>318727563
Wave hands through where his hat should be but isn't to show you know the truth
>>318727563
GASP
Recruit the paladin
>>318727563
ask him hows the weather in there
>>318727563
The necromancer, unaware of his own true identity, pops off the skeleton's dome out of shock, and rolls that fucker down the his sweet cave's bowling alley
>>318727563
Who is that? .....Shakira?
>>318727678
My god! Your hand is clipping through the hat! This must means that it's an illusion! Or that you're in a Bethesda game. Must be why he didn't want you to touch it earlier.
>>318728002
Hey, what's Hero Skeleton doing?
>>318728002
It's a hat of invisibility, I swear!
>>318728002
Hero skeleton being disappointed in his summoner - joins your party
>>318728002
whisper in his ear "your secret is safe with me"
>>318728002
fallout 4 dialogue options
''Are you a paladin?''
''You're a paladin, aren't you?''
''YOU GODDAMN PALADIN!''
''A paladin, huh..."
>>318728002
Buy the Necromancer Hat DLC
>>318728002
Use skelly hero as a club? Heroclub!
>>318728002
whisper a secret of your own to him
>>318728070
"HOW COULD YOU HAVE LIED TO ME?!"
"I'm sorry, but this was a sting operation I couldn't blow my cover"
"I WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU. I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS"
>>318728467
recruit sparkle-head hero skeleton to your party as a dental-mancer
>>318728467
Hero skeleton stings the Necromancer with his bee stinger
>>318728467
Skeleton Bro, you know this Bro?
>>318728467
recruit both. now
>>318728467
Successfully punch hero skeleton in the face
>>318728618
"So, you wanna go and kill the King?" you asked
>>318728467
what a nice distraction for the cleric to make off with necromancer paraphernalia
>>318728804
pet his helmet feathers
>>318728804
The Necromancer farts
>>318728804
RECRUIT HARDER
>>318728804
shill toothpaste to both until they agree
>>318728804
Yes, level up
>>318728804
Shine the necromancer's helmet with toothpaste to match hero skelly's skull
>>318728952
Keep rolling low numbers my luk skill sucks
>>318728887
"The necromancer doesn't even exist"
"YOU LIED TO MEEEEE"
>>318729025
If the necromancer isnt real how can you be real.
AND THEN LOOK AGAIN AT THE SKELLY SKULL TO SEE WHO THE PALADIN REALLY IS
>>318729025
Coldgate Brutal ™ will never lie to you, so join me and we'll kill the King for the glory of Coldgate Brutal ™.
>>318729025
Recuit lying necromancer and his lied too hero skelly and lvl up!
>>318729025
The Hero Skeleton eats tubes of toothpaste out of sadness, but remembers that he doesn't have a stomach
>>318729098
Seems normal enough to me
>>318729350
But look closer
INSIDE the helmet
>>318729350
Poke it with your fist.
>>318729350
Investigate that fucking window on the left
>>318729419
DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER
>>318729350
Skeleton is a heretic
>>318729350
Believe in your self
>>318729507
DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER EITHER
>>318729419
Inside the helmet's pretty dark
>>318729657
burning finger activated
>>318729651
>>318729350
Don't listen to either of them look in to my eyes. Kiss me
>>318729657
Use the power of your toothpaste to see inside
>>318729657
Smile
The pearly whiteness of Coldgate Brutal™ teeth will light up the helmet!
>>318729657
LOOK AWAY BEFORE THE VOID CONSUMES OUR SOUL!!
>>318729657
even barbarians can cast lvl 1 glow, come the fudge on
>>318729657
Recuit lying pally and lied to skelly level the fuck up!
>>318729657
Light your helmet up with a Mr.Beams Night-Light™
>>318730279
Kill him
>>318730279
GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
NOPE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!
>>318730279
BURNING
FINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>>318730279
Surprise attack him.
>>318730279
Kill him
>>318730279
It was an illusion, that's not the real Paladin!
>>318730279
Lied to even harder! ...recruit aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddd lvl up
>>318730397
Having revealed himself, The King deflects your Burning Finger with... his finger.
>>318730641
TWO BURNING FINGERS?
>>318730641
USE YOUR KNIGHT TO PUT HIM IN CHECK
>>318730641
tell him that you are gonna beat him up now
>>318730641
Grab his hand, THEN burning finger
>>318730641
Dogpile him with your party
>>318730641
Get your party to surround him.
>>318730641
Anon up set over his roll, emergency level up
>>318730696
BUt you don't ahve a knight. All you have is a pillow with a female knight printed on it
>>318731095
throw pillow at king
>>318731095So how's hero skeleton holding up over this?
>>318731095
give him the pillow in exchange for forgiving hero
>>318731095
Use burning finger on the body pillow
>>318731095
love-love burning finger with the pillow
>>318731095
Comfort hero skelly, level up with game genie
>>318731159
"Here, Female Knight, hold this for me"
>>318731510
Hero Skeleton, outraged with the multiple layers of deception, activates hero mode
>>318731510
o shit
>>318731510
That was a gift from GOD! Rage reeeeeeeeeeee!
>>318731510
woo female knight with your barbaric charm
>>318731510
Use burning finger on female knight
>>318731510
"It's not like I have it cause I yearn for you, b-baka."
>>318731549
"So tell me Barbarian, why do you continue to fight my Empire? All I did was killed your entire tribe, let it go" said the King on his throne of female knights
>>318731972
>I was born in a small village, which was raided by knights, FOREIGN knights
>>318731972
punch that grin off his royal face
>>318731972
ask him why our character sucks so much
>>318731972
i fight for muh freedoms
>>318731972
Pull down our pants.
>>318731972
YOU KILLED MY FATHER, YOU KILLED MY PEOPLE! YOU TOOK MY FATHERS SWORD...
>>318731972
throw zesty love potion at him to get the female knights to overwhelm him
then take him hostage for negotiation purposes
>>318731972
smack talk
>>318732089
"Your freedom will only lead to your death. DO you really want to continue?"
>>318732345
Hell yeah nigga
>>318732345
do you want to suck my cock?
>>318732345
Have the party surround him. Swear to his death on your mothers disembodied ghost head.
>>318732345
There's got to be something we can do to not suck so hard!
>>318732345
Death? More like barbarian life! Lvl up rage!
>>318732345
flex your muscles at the sexy knight ladies
>>318732449
"Have you tried grinding for levels yet?"
>>318732631
That's gay
>>318732631
That's a pretty good idea, thanks King
>>318732631
Grind your sparkling, shiny teeth for levels.
>>318732631
MONTAGE
>>318732631
Yeah but you keep interupting !
>>318732631
REACH DOWN YOUR PANTS
CONFUSE YOUR ENEMY
>>318732679
"Good, now go train so when I kill you it'll take more than 5 seconds"
>>318732631
"But you'll grind your own levels in the meantime!"
>>318732909
Montage grinding
>>318732909
DICKASS THIEF STEALS LADY KNIGHTS
>>318732909
Can I have one of those female Knights to help while I'm grinding?
>>318732909
Pull down your pants.
>>318732909
GRINDING TIME
>>318732909
Leave and go a a spirit journey toconsume the souls of our village to gain their strength
>>318732909
Great, now we have time to relax before we kick the King's butt. Let's take a vacation.
>>318732909
Tell the female knight that the king killed all her friends in the dungeon while he was pretending to be Paladin
>>318733009
But to where
>>318732909
Invite Hero Skeleton to train with us to take revenge on the false necromancer/false paladin king
>>318733115
Mountain, let's punch some bears.
>>318733115
CANYON OF MYSTERY
I SEE THAT HIDDEN BOX
>>318733115
Bring hero skelly for beach episode
>>318733115
Both
>>318733115
TO BE THE BEST YOU GOT TO PASS THE TEST YOU GOT TO MAKE IT ALL THE WAY
TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAAAAAIN
>>318733115
Mystery box
>>318733115
Recruit Hero Skelly, fuck up the mountains together.
>>318733115
Third option, hell.
>>318733115
Mountains to wrestle them goats and because captcha keeps telling me to.
>>318733179
Theme song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6v_gOmVJ4I
>>318733169
Hero Skeleton joined your party to take revenge against the king's double treachery
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji3GDakHUnQ
>>318733479
Awesome, now for a grinding montage in the Mountains.
>>318733479
Invite him to the beach
>>318733479
Ask if he knows any good vacation spots
>>318733479
Beach episode with cute mermaids swimming montage training.
>>318733479
check the map of magical revealingness
STOP, DROP, AND DANCE!
>>318733527
You are now at the local beach.
>>318733690
Start by building a sandcastle, for exercise
>>318733690
preform a search check for scantily clad babes
>>318733690
Beach party, grind by doing japanese beach party
>>318733690
Look for other beachgoers.
>>318733690
Encounter the super boss, mecha Nega Todd Howard 2000
>>318733690
Everyone gets into their swimsuits
*downloads bot to grind for him
>>318733690
SUDDENLY GIANT ENEMY CRAB
>>318733903
Pan right
>>318733903
play volleyball instead
>>318733903
group of beach babes with level 100 charisma check
>>318733903
You discover scantily-clad buff dudes instead
>>318733923
Scantily clad giant crabs!
>>318733903
SEE >>318733923BUT MAKE IT A CRAB MONSTERGIRL
>>318718071
Holy shit. You are still doing this after like 2 years?
Bravo man.
Bravo.
>>318733939
You pan right and you find...a pan.
>>318734094
It's all i do
It's all i know
>>318734151
check stats on pan
>>318734151
APPROACH SUSPICIOUSLY
>>318734151
think about hard life being not a paladin
>>318734151
Scantily clad giant crab hiding underneath pan.
>>318734151
Smash watermelons level up
>>318734151
That handle looks like a dick
Nice going op
>>318734206
Approaching suspiciously
>>318734279
Why are yous eeing dicks anon, may the problem is on your end
>>318734151
Acquire Drying Pan as a superior helmet
>>318734401
Hey, i know a dick when i see one, this is no ordinary frying pan
>>318734401
It's a horseshoe crab sun bathing! Eat it to gain 10 levels!
>>318734508
Sure looks ordinary to me
>>318734604
Kick the handle to be safe
>>318734604
touches pan and its actually a port key that teleports party to elite level dungeon
>>318734604
FIND GIANT ENEMY CRAB TO COOK IN SKILLET FOR SKILL BONUS
THAT'S HOW FOOD WORKS, RIGHT?
>>318734604
Throw rock on the pan to inspect for traps.
>>318734627
"Beep boop buy my potions"
>>318734831
did we find any....traps
:3
>>318734994
Go away todd
>>318734994
buys xp pots
>>318734994
ACTIVATE PERSONA!
>>318734994
Select a party member to fight Todd
>>318734994
Recruit
>>318734994
buy a potion anyway and drink it
>>318734994
Short circuit his mind with shiny teeth level up!
>>318735078
"You cannot recruit me, but you can preorder this great potion named EXP Boost 4!"
>>318735302
How much?
>>318735302
Sounds like a good deal Todd!
>>318735302
If i preorder it will you join us?
>>318735139
>>318735302
Numbers
>>318735302
If we preorder the potion can we recruit you as a bonus?
>>318735302
>pre-order
I bet it comes with Drink 1 DLC too.
>>318735302
pirate the potion instead
>>318735429
"OF COURSE! PRE ORDER NOW AND YOU'LL GET THE STR BOOST POTION DLC! PLUS THE COLLECTIBLE DEX PILL!"
>>318735408
That one was late
>>318735632
Pirate potion
>>318735632
But Dex is for dickass thiefs Todd. You're not a dickass thief are you?
Initiate pirating of potions.
>>318735632
Wiuld i be able to kill the king with this?
>>318735632
PUNCH HIS ROBOT DICK WITH THE POWER OF VIDYA GAMES
>>318735632
I dunno, that Obsidrone over there looks like he has a better offer
>>318735632
Use the Oblivion persuasion system to ease him to giving them for free
>>318735632
Can we get a demo of these potions?
>>318735632
Do you sell POWERTHIRST?
>>318735739
"OR COURSE....NOT! That's why after you preorder EXP Boost 4 you'll also need to buy the BONUS ALL STATS +20 BOOST POTION DLC, THE +10 SKILL POINTS POTION DLC, THE RECUSTOMIZE YOURSELF POTION DLC AND THE TEMPORARY INVINCIBLE POTION DLC!"
>>318736040
punch him in the face
>>318736040
I use secret code "T0DDSQUAD" to recruit Robotod
>>318736040
yeah nah fuck that. punch him in the dick
>>318736040
Dickass thief pirates his potions
>>318736040
Take the offer, gain a lvl
>>318736147
and steal all the potions while his down
>>318736147
*KLANK*
no effect
"TO PUNCH ME IN THE DICK, BUY THE "PUNCH TODD IN THE DICK" DLC"
>>318736241
Ask Todd if he himself is for sale
>>318736241
Pirate preorders a d pirate a lvl up
>>318736241
Stand your ground. Refuse to buy anything.
>>318736241
Ask him if he has something to take down the King.
>>318736241
Buy and immediately refund the potion
>>318736241
ask to beta test the potions
>>318736241
glance at todd's skimpy swimsuit
>>318736338
"Are you sure? You wanna win against the King don't you?"
>>318736539
call Tod exactly what he is, agay robot
>>318736539
your potions are too weak for a real battle, fuckhead
>>318736539
Of course I do, but your LIES aren't the way to go about doing it!
>>318736539
The real Todd appears
>>318736539
Use community potions
>>318736539
Get EXP boost 1 & 2 instead, they're way better.
>>318736539
winners don't do drugs, Todd!
>>318736576
You called Tod a gay robot. Todd says that was uncalled for, Tod has nothing to do with this
>>318736874
With a will of iron we continue to shoot down Todd's offers
>>318736874
Tell Todd you have a season pass and collect your dlc
>>318736874
An Obsidrone appears with a way better offer
>>318736874
you cheeki breeki, you know what I meant!
Ask for the potion seller's strongest potions then.
>>318736874
Take Tod hostage and demand the potions as payment
>>318736968
"pssst, I'll give you EXP Boost 4: New Potion"
>>318737173
Take Obsidi-bots potion
>>318737173
Does it have a good mixing community?
>>318737173
Take the gay robot
>>318737173
Just buy his Mediocre potion and get on with the adventure
>>318737257
"Yeah man, we got a shitload of mixes. Mind the bugs though"
>>318737407
Smash robot
>>318737407
Buy it and head to the mixing Nexus in the nearest town
>>318737407
bugs? like weevils and shit that get in the potion?
>>318737407
Being a Barbarian we get confused at all these offers.
No more off this bullshit. Barbarian flies into a rage, and rolls for burning fingering Todd in the dick.if this post is higher then 7 then he succeeds
>>318737407
Buy the potion and upgrade it with Nexus Modifying Liquid™, with surprising results
>>318736998
potion seller is from fucking reddit
go back there and stay there
>>318737548
*FWOOOOSHBOOM*
"It's a good thing I was programmed to feel no pain"
>>318737591
and here I was, having seen it on /f/. a lot of things must trigger you, huh?
>>318737787
Take Obsidrones potion and mix it so you can beat Todd
>>318737787
Pretty sure that's a bug, good thing people patched that back in.
>>318737891
"DO you even know how to mix potions?" asked one of your party members
>>318738056
Do you?
>>318738056
no
but who gives a shit
do it
>>318738056
Get him to do your physics homework.
>>318738056
NO, BUT I'M GONNA ANYWAY
>>318738056
Yes
>Proceeds to grab a potion in each hand and slam them together
Lower than 4 and it succeeds
>>318738098
And so you start to pour random liquids into EXP Boost 4: New Potion in hopes of mixing it
>>318738190
>lower than 4
I don't think you understand how these threads work, anon
>>318738335
Chug it down in one gulp
>>318738335
hope for the best and throw the result at Todd
>>318738335
It works too well and you make tod bug out
>>318738335
Insert it into every orifice
>>318738612
Attempt to repair tod
>>318738612
Tods destruction makes Todd go berserk
>>318738612
You level up
>>318738612
todd's head falls off
>>318738707
YOur terrible repair skill has reduced Tod to nothing but a nut
>>318738973
Throw the nut at Todd
>>318738973
Whoops but we got exp for it let's level the fuck up and Fuck up Todd
>>318738973
Put it in the potion
>>318738973
Todd is so devestated he self destructs
>>318738973
level up
>>318739086
You haven't earned enough EXP yet.
>>318739207
Grind out levels long enough for the king to die of old age
>>318739207
Equip Tod's nut.
>>318739207
Blow up Todd's stupid face gain a lvl
>>318739259
If you grind for so long without touching the King, things beyond your control will happen. Are you sure?
>>318739492
Sure
>>318739492
Turns out that anyone in the royal family is immortal unless killed
>>318739492
Do it
>>318739492
Equip Tod's nut instead.
It might give us the wisdom we need.
>>318739559
Oh good, let's put this away.
>>318739665
Wear Tod's nut on your horn.
>>318739665
No. Train anyway, but >>318739562
>>318739665
Grind enough that gains us a couple of levels
>>318739665
Throw the big selection sign at todd to destroy him
>>318739665
Take the nut and eat it
>>318739665
Dad disagrees and stats behind to train with mom
>>318739718
And so you trained and trained until you were an old man.
In the years that you've been training, The King was killed by his own Brother and Some guy who likes to fuck horses.
Whoops.
>>318740039
Don't forget that Barbarian Dad and Gladiator died from natural causes
>>318740039
Have we become a force of rage greater than any god in this world or the next?
>>318740039
Todd offers a potion to make you young again, he's so old and rusty his lying mechanism died
>>318740039
it was just a bad dream, now wake up and start your normal non timeskipping training
>>318740039
You go to see the kings brother to take his wemon he's not going to need them
>>318740039
Todd please, that's non-canon
>>318740178
"Not yet my son. But keep going! We're rooting for you!"
Oh yeah and most of your party members died of natural causes. Like Gladiator and your Dad.
>>318740368
Wake up it was only a dream but you go sleep exp and gain 4 levels
>>318740368
Not so little anymore noble girl came to find you and ask you for help getting revenge
>>318740439
"This is no dream. Should have bough that potion when I offered it to you years ago."
>>318740624
Check up on Hero Skeleton and see how his training has progressed (he has a wig and shades now for some reason)
>>318740624
Now that you lost motivation to live, the Barbarin falls into depression. He considers killing himself, but then Khorne the Blood God appears before him and offers him a tryout position for a Daemon Prince, if he manages to massacre the entire kingdom.
>>318740624
Bring Todd down with our new and improved flame finger technique, mastered by climbing the tallest mountain in the world using only our fingers wreathed in flames.
>>318740624
>Todd says this is not a dream
Yeah, you can wake us up any second now
>>318740624
Fuck you got youth potion
>>318740708
"My lying capacitor has been damaged years ago, I can no longer lie. This is not a dream."
TOASTING IN AN EPIC BREAD
>>318740853
Check up on Hero Skeleton who has shades and a wig now
>>318740853
God said it is a dream that robots broken lying capacitor is lying
>>318740889
"rememebr....to...preorderrrr....."
>>318741086
Meditate on all that we have learned over the course of our training session. Was it all worth it in the end?
>>318741086
accept fate, go home and train barbarian little girls with your experience
>>318741086
challenge a giant too a fist fight
>>318741086
go back in time
>>318741086
Destroy the kings brothers kingdom now
>>318741156
You think back on your timeskipped training adventures. Over the course of your (not played) training, you have traveled far with your band of companions, defeated many great foes and beasts, punched at least one ancient being in the face and ate 2000 loaves of bread. All of it to become strong enough to defeat the King who killed your tribe. But in the end it was his brother and a man who fucks horses that killed the king. So you think to yourself, was it worth it in the end. On one hand you had a lifetime of adventures, on the other your primary objective was lost.
>>318741406
New quest. Travel back in time and prevent your tribe being killed
>>318741406
Howl the greatest howl a barbarian ever did make and let the world know that we have lived and will continue to do so.
>>318741406
Gained by countless adventure and a shitton of exp the Barbarin is really strong now. So strong actually that he can tear the FUCKING fabric of space time. So he decides to fly into Barbarian rage and pay a visit to the moment the King attacked his tribe.
>>318741406
Use Todd's flux capacitor to go back and stop the time skip
>>318741406
Soooooooo time to kill a horse fucker?
>>318741559
>tear the FUCKING fabric of space time
awwwww shieeet. We gona run into a time traveling robot and a mexican aint we?
>>318741559
And so using your years of acumulated power, you unleased your strongest Burning Finger and tore a hole through time
>>318741806
Halt, motherfucker!
Oh shit, it's a time cop!
>>318741806
But you miss your destination and end up somewhere irrelevant
>>318741806
Huge successyou become your own dad
>>318741806
Woops fucked up you end up back to where you first decided to do a training time skip... Todd is alive again...
>>318741806
You find yourself in the warp, specifically the realm of the Blood God Khorne. He says he will send you to your destination if you defeat his mightiest Bloodthirster
Que boss fight you, robot and mexican vs Mr.Fuckyourfaceandkillyourshit
>>318741859
"Travelling through time illegally is illegal!"
>>318741992
He zaps us back to our current timeline. Those pesky time cops and their technology are far too advanced for our primitive Barbarian magic
>>318741992
We can save them, all of them, and we wont let a walking piece of slag get in the way! MOVE IT!!
>>318741992
Burning finger that fuck in the face. No one messes with super barbarian. He instantly explodes and you find a time machine on the charred spot he stood.
>>318741992
the Bloodgod aproves our plans and smashes the time cop in pieces
>>318741992
Say your sorry
>>318742031
Well crap. You failed in your time travelling shenanigans.
>>318742209
This shit won't stand with the Barbarian. You hop right back into the the time crack and you challenge the Time Cop to a fight
>>318742209
Wait the cop fucked up on his paper work, he zapped us back to where we first started training.
>>318742209
Howl a howl that sunders time and space, for we will not be denied!
>>318742209
the bloodgod offers us to bring us back to that moment where the king attacks and give us our chance of revenge but for a price of course
>>318742448
Fusion dance
>>318742448
Act as your dad to prevent time from shattering
>>318742448
Tell yourself that you came back to kill the King, and you waited your whole life for this. Now you, with yourself and your party charge the capital.Continue in next thread? How you holdin up OP you majestic creature?
>>318742448
Infuse the younger barbarian with all of our might, magic, and knowledge that he may know the vengeance we were denied.
>>318742503
Do you really wanna do it?
>>318742567
Whatever happens I think I have one more thread in me.
>>318742608
Why the fuck not?
>>318742608
Don't fuse. We may cause a paradox or some shit like in time cop.
>>318742608
Don't worry its multiverse theory, it's a different you, so the horse fucker dimension still exsists.
>>318742608
Confirm
>>318742608
Fuck. Yes.
>>318742696
If so then what's the point if you're not really solving your own timeline but another version of you? And if not then what if the time enrgies will cause you both to explode or something?
>>318742876
Nigga let's get the fuck out of here, go back to our timeline and check up on Hero Skeleton who has shades and a wig now
>>318742876
our timeline doesnt really have a problem anymore though. might as well team up with another version of us and help him kill the king, if not kill him ourselves. tell younger barbar that we are his long lost grandpa and want to help him kill the king.
>>318742876
Just punch our way back to the beggining of our timeline. Fuck fusion, messing with timespace continuoms is for wizards
>>318742876
No, you can't erase the past, if you alter anything in the past you never go back in time, the time travel it self is proof of that.
>>318742876
Because it's the King you hate, and you will have your revenge in this universe or the next. Also that shit doesn't happen, every one knows that. However you decide not to merge with your younger self, but you decide to evaporate and give all of your power to him via magical space dust time things.
>>318742876
Just tell him what happens and leave
>>318742989
Well that was weird. Some old guy appeared then disappeared. BUt somehow you feel stronger now.
>>318743147
Level up! You somehow gained 5 levels. Huh. Well now you don't need to grind exp.
>>318743147
Find skeleton hero and have a practice bout to test our newfound strength.
>>318743147
level up, you now 99 lvl
>>318743147
You gained an ass load of levels, better skill up or you'll get diabetes
>>318743259
In actuallity there was way more dings
>>318743147
You levelled up a whopping 0.23 levels!
>>318743334
game has no level cap but number always stucks on 99
you know, like in mario games
>>318743334
Create a rap that goes with the dings.
>>318743334
Hurry allocate them skills! Lvl diabetes is a serious issue
>>318743334
Level up screen! You unlocked new stats, perks, and a special screen called God's blessing. You may choose a blessing from God's, that govern all of the timelines. Because you maxed out and hsit.
>>318743583
all in god finger
>>318743583
God finger, blessing, Beard master and iron fist.
>>318743583
Let's go Fuck up that king and that horse fucker of a brother
>>318743647
And now, you may choose only one of God's blessings. Choose wisely as you have only one chance.
>>318743809
Teeth.
>>318743809
second one
>>318743809
Hp+
>>318743809
Best teeth.
In the motherfucking world. You will have a smile, which can erase war, start world peace and bring an era of prosperity. However you will use it to do the best shit eating grin when you finally defeat the King.
>>318743809
easy one, +10000000 HP +20 All Stats. LOCK IN
>>318743809
Teeth
>>318743858
*Heavenly Ding*
>>318743951
Spar with Barbarian Dad again.
>>318743951
your balls shrink
>>318743951
Time to fuck shit up. Challenge the paladin and the gladiator to a 2v1 sparring match.
>>318744038
>>318743951
Aw fuck
>>318744029
YOu ask to spar with your dad again
>>318744176
Punch him.
>>318744176
Defeat him with one punch, he is immensely proud
>>318744176
Wrastle
>>318744325
Now tickle him
>>318744325
recruit a samurai warrior named Jaqueline (the female name)
>>318744379
>black samurai
>>318744434the guy voicing Jack is a black dude, tho
>>318744379
"Why would somebody named Jacqueline be a samurai?"
"Must be a weeaboo"New Thread?
>>318744562
lets do it
>>318744562
nah, I'm full of bread
>>318744562
Heck Yeah
>>318744562
Naaaaah let's just go Fuck the king!
New Thread
>>318744925
>>318744925
>>318744925
