/heem/: michael chandler edition
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Upcoming events:
7/2: ONE FC: Dynasty of Champions - Jadambaa vs Kelly
7/3: Shooto Gig West 18 - Murata vs Kohori
7/7: UFC FN 90 - Dos Anjos vs Alvarez
7/8: TUF 23 Finale - Jedrzejczyk vs Gadelha
7/9: UFC 200 - DC vs Jones 2
7/13: UFC FN 91 - Ferguson vs Chiesa
7/16: Bellator 158 - Daley vs Lima
7/22: Legacy FC 58 - Drysdale vs Spann
7/22: Bellator 159 - Caldwell vs Taimanglo
7/22: Glory 32 - Adamchuk vs Varga
7/23: UFC on Fox 20 - Holm vs Shevchenko
7/24: Pancrase 279 - Ishiwatari vs Brookins
7/29: Invicta FC 18 - Grasso vs Escabel
7/30: UFC 201 - Lawler vs Woodley
8/6: UFC FN 92 - Rodriguez vs Caceres
8/20: UFC 202 - Diaz vs McGregor 2
8/27: UFC on Fox 21 - Pettis vs Oliveira
9/3: UFC FN 93 - Arlovski vs Barnett
9/10: UFC 203 - Miocic vs Overeem
Previous thread: >>68932032
News:
>Jones not interested in HW any more
http://www.mmamania.com/2016/6/26/12033178/ufc-200-jon-jones-says-a-move-up-to-heavyweight-is-not-as-appealing-mma
>Bisping says Weidman is USADA'd
http://mmajunkie.com/2016/06/ufc-champ-michael-bisping-takes-shot-at-chris-weidman-during-twitter-spat-lots-of-injuries-since-usada
>GSP says he could fight at 155 for his comeback
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/6/26/12025798/georges-st-pierre-says-he-could-easily-fight-at-lightweight-in-ufc
>Faber on wardrobe malfunction
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/6/26/12029182/urijah-faber-reebok-needs-to-make-sure-ufc-fight-gear-fits-better
Op is gay
Schaub is God
"IT'S TIME" shouted Bruce, with a hop and a stomp,
Six inches he climbs; on the loose with such pomp.
Grey hair combed so fine that your boyfriend would love it,
Tanned skin mask with lines that Dos Anjos would covet.
"The most stacked card ever."
Let that sink a minute.
When the main starts with Cain
Then three titles within it,
Edgar destroys Aldo and to Dana beckons
For Goober because the fight took just twelve seconds.
Now fight fans all fapping
(The replay's so great)
Thoughts all overlapping with
Bouncing-tits-Tate.
She beats some dumb hue
Via choke; Anaconda
Towers over Joe Rogan,
Grabs the mic and shouts
"Ronda!
I know you are watching,
And I don't feel bad, slid
that choke in tight just like your pussy dad did!
Go lose fourty pounds so that you can make weight,
Duck Cyborg once more
Then come suck this Cupcake!"
She crotch chops and Goldie
Snaps awake, jaw ajar,
"Takes some energy, Joe,
To uh, be a rockstar"
>>68956306
Out walks big fat Hunt
But who gives a fuck
It's all just a stunt
So this card doesn't suck.
McGregor is missing
But now here comes Brock!
His chest tattoo'd up
With a sword-looking cock.
He gets the crowd going
By bouncing his pecs;
While Buffer's announcing,
He grins with a flex.
The first round gets going,
We grimace with dread,
For the part where Hunto
Blasts off Brock's severed head.
But what unfolds so fast
(And before there's contact)
Hunt pretends that he's gassed
And just falls on his back!
"Brock's fists are HUGE Joe,"
Says Goldberg, entranced,
"Look at that combo,
All with strikes so advanced!"
Herb Dean jumps in quick
And as Brock wins the fight,
He squeezes his dick
And we fear for his wife.
>>68956305
Is previous thread the GOAT new meme of 2016?
>>68956113 #
>given purple belt after winning fight contested in the feet
>gets taken down at will
>has meme boxing that folds against technical boxing
>can only do memekicks
Great """"champ""""" ya got there
>>68956332
Jon Bones Jones:
Unbroken.
The GOAT (and a lock)
D.C.'s words oft spoken:
"I'll deepthroat Jon's cock"
They enter the cage
And the crowd roars;
Excitement.
D.C. can envision his succing indictment.
They meet in the center;
Big John reads the script:
"Fight clean and touch gloves,
Oh, and Jon?
Watch your dick."
The two meet with a clash,
"There's that oblique kick, Joe,
And there's D.C.'s moustache
With a streak, down below."
"It's an interesting fight,"
Rogan starts, (what a douche)
"Reminiscent of Rousey
vs Liz Carmouche.
You know that one figher
Is on the offensive,
Their grip so much tighter,
Training so extensive,
That all that they've dreamt
For the past ninety days
Is they have an attempt
To make champions gay."
D.C. is repeatedly grasping,
Fingers scratch violently.
Jon heatedly gasping,
We watch him scream silently.
No individual cheers
From the crowd heard alone,
We know the end's near;
It's just one constant moan.
"JUST LIKE THAT!" Goldy cries,
And in one fluid motion
Jones pokes D.C.'s eyes
Yet he shows no emotion.
D.C. drops to his knees
And without tying up
Makes it look like a breeze
As he flings off Jon's cup.
And just as he once said
That he grinds (not diminish)
D.C. starts giving head and then
Goes for the finish.
As D.C. wipes his mouth and they put on the belt,
You ask all your buddies how this fight card felt.
They throw in some cash for the pizza and fees,
But those goofs all in unison chirp your TV!
"Where the fuck are the wires?" they ask with disdain,
"You quite clearly possess a slow dim-witted brain."
They go to leave but you stop them
and heem every here,
Your canvas floor off their wee head clatters.
You make your point perfectly clear:
There's only one OP that matters.
>>68956334
absolutely
Schaub bless all you bums yeh
>>68956332
>>68956354
Nobody cares
>>68956398
me neither bud
"IT'S TIME" shouted Bruce, with a hop and a stomp,
Six inches he climbs; on the loose with such pomp.
Grey hair combed so fine that your boyfriend would love it,
Tanned skin mask with lines that Dos Anjos would covet.
"The most stacked card ever."
Let that sink a minute.
When the main starts with Cain
Then three titles within it,
Edgar destroys Aldo and to Dana beckons
For Goober because the fight took just twelve seconds.
Now fight fans all fapping
(The replay's so great)
Thoughts all overlapping with
Bouncing-tits-Tate.
She beats some dumb hue
Via choke; Anaconda
Towers over Joe Rogan,
Grabs the mic and shouts
"Ronda!
I know you are watching,
And I don't feel bad, slid
that choke in tight just like your pussy dad did!
Go lose fourty pounds so that you can make weight,
Duck Cyborg once more
Then come suck this Cupcake!"
She crotch chops and Goldie
Snaps awake, jaw ajar,
"Takes some energy, Joe,
To uh, be a rockstar"
>>68956390
Schaub bless
>>68956457
Out walks big fat Hunt
But who gives a fuck
It's all just a stunt
So this card doesn't suck.
McGregor is missing
But now here comes Brock!
His chest tattoo'd up
With a sword-looking cock.
He gets the crowd going
By bouncing his pecs;
While Buffer's announcing,
He grins with a flex.
The first round gets going,
We grimace with dread,
For the part where Hunto
Blasts off Brock's severed head.
But what unfolds so fast
(And before there's contact)
Hunt pretends that he's gassed
And just falls on his back!
"Brock's fists are HUGE Joe,"
Says Goldberg, entranced,
"Look at that combo,
All with strikes so advanced!"
Herb Dean jumps in quick
And as Brock wins the fight,
He squeezes his dick
And we fear for his wife.
>>68956500
Jon Bones Jones:
Unbroken.
The GOAT (and a lock)
D.C.'s words oft spoken:
"I'll deepthroat Jon's cock"
They enter the cage
And the crowd roars;
Excitement.
D.C. can envision his succing indictment.
They meet in the center;
Big John reads the script:
"Fight clean and touch gloves,
Oh, and Jon?
Watch your dick."
The two meet with a clash,
"There's that oblique kick, Joe,
And there's D.C.'s moustache
With a streak, down below."
"It's an interesting fight,"
Rogan starts, (what a douche)
"Reminiscent of Rousey
vs Liz Carmouche.
You know that one figher
Is on the offensive,
Their grip so much tighter,
Training so extensive,
That all that they've dreamt
For the past ninety days
Is they have an attempt
To make champions gay."
D.C. is repeatedly grasping,
Fingers scratch violently.
Jon heatedly gasping,
We watch him scream silently.
No individual cheers
From the crowd heard alone,
We know the end's near;
It's just one constant moan.
"JUST LIKE THAT!" Goldy cries,
And in one fluid motion
Jones pokes D.C.'s eyes
Yet he shows no emotion.
D.C. drops to his knees
And without tying up
Makes it look like a breeze
As he flings off Jon's cup.
And just as he once said
That he grinds (not diminish)
D.C. starts giving head and then
Goes for the finish.
As D.C. wipes his mouth and they put on the belt,
You ask all your buddies how this fight card felt.
They throw in some cash for the pizza and fees,
But those goofs all in unison chirp your TV!
"Where the fuck are the wires?" they ask with disdain,
"You quite clearly possess a slow dim-witted brain."
They go to leave but you stop them
and heem every here,
Your canvas floor off their wee head clatters.
You make your point perfectly clear:
There's only one OP that matters.
fuck u goof lmao
>>68956362
Stephen Thompson vs. winner of Lawler/Woodley
Neil Magny vs. Dong Hyun Kim
Demian Maia vs. Carlos Condit
Donald Cerrone vs. Tarec Seffiedine
>>68956547
I love this actually
>>68956547
Agree, Thompson deserves the next title shot
I think Magny just needs someone high ranked to fight desu, WW doesn't have much room for him, I would give him the loser of Lawler-Woodley after this
Eliminator for next title shot after Thompson, good
Would rather see Cerrone fight Brown
>>68956642
Assuming Magny wins, that is
Who /spancc/ here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJcX20XZ2Is
>>68956642
Brown's fighting Lellenberger which is disappointing since Cerrone vs. Brown would be awesome.
>>68956686
>yfw Cormier spanks Jon Jones
Schaub would destroy Miocic. He is superior in all areas. Schaub has much better hands and his ground game is only second to Werdum.
>>68956759
I'm surprised Lellenberger hasn't been cut yet
Lost 4 of his last 5 fights, and his only win was to the dessicated corpse of Josh Koscheck
>>68956936
Do you remember the time when Schaub scratched his chin in contemplation too hard and got knocked out cold for several minutes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7nn5w_qS50
>Schaub wrong on literally every point he makes
My favourite video.
>>68957066
I could've sworn they cut him after he lost to Tarec. I'm shocked they've kept him this long.
/SuccNation/ Appreciation
>>68956936
This is literally unironically 100% true
BisGOAT is commentating for shoot64 on fightpass if anyone is interested
>>68956241
>>68956241
>JONES
>Heavyweight
>I want fights
>Stylistcally good for me
>Means I want a HW can to beat
He'd still get wrecked by the bottom 10 Desu Desu
He could barely handle Gus
>>68957165
wtf???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Why did the UFC keep Scott Jorgensen around so long?
what went wrong
>Bellator
>>68957243
The UFC likes certain guys and they try to do anything they can to not cut them
>>68957243
They wanted a can to give to people on a losing skid
Might be the same thing the UFC is doing to Lellenberger
Anyone find it a bit hypocritical that rogan was calling out Ariel for leaking fights when joe has been known to leak fights on his podcast?
>>68957291
No
His opponents' records at the time don't suggest that
They just didn't want to cut him for whatever reason
>>68957312
I remember when he leaked the Rory/Wonderboy fight.
He's a kook
>>68957243
Look at Tim Boestch, the two fights he has actually won (Lolbard and CB got robbed imo) he was getting smashed before a hail mary.
>>68956241
Bisping is doing commentary for Shooto on fightpass lel
>>68957264
Bellator had some spicy heems this weekend
>>68957312
who cares goof, buy fightpass
>>68957079
I used to be. Lost 55 pounds last year when I switched up my diet and started working out.
Being fat was pretty chill desu.
My back is broken.
>>68957507
SPINAL
>>68957545
TAP
>>68957564
IST
>>68957312
Name one fight Joe leaked.
tappy
>>68957662
Rory vs wonderboy
Jds vs overeem
There's two off the top of my head
>>68957662
Ronda vs. Holly
>>68957782
>>68957814
Link to the videos please
>>68957243
put on good fights, show up, show up when others don't, have a little good favor with ufc.
look at soto, goid fight with tj on short notice, then a bad loss, then a bs loss, now he has finally won a ufc fight.
Who /ROSE/ here?
>>68957926
I'm more of a Rose Monroe kind of guy
>>68957828
The Ronda one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL2ampi5uqs
>>68957989
>edmond
post qt fans
bisbong doing good as a commentator tobeh
Who /SHOOTO/ here? Bisping is on commentary
https://www.ufc.tv/video/shooto-brazil-64
>>68957828
I remember the rory wonderboy one I think it was a scoob and callan episode and Joe leaked it by talking about the promo he had recorded for it
>>68957828
Jds vs overeem
http://youtu.be/yuO3HKSlM1w
Rory vs wonderboy
http://youtu.be/p7nn5w_qS50
>>68958036
here lad
Will this next fight go longer than a minute?
>>68958036
lookin sharp
>>68957764
læffy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp1yclQXd1Q
>people PAY for FightAss
>>68958156
>people DONT pay for an easy solution to watch multiple small organisations and all UFC fights except main cards on PPV's.
>>68958190
>funding Dana's driveway snow
Just noticed the Aldo burger adverts in the cage kek
>>68958190
thanks for keeping my streams free
>>68958214
>not funding the guy Dana had come plow it once he got bored
https://www.instagram.com/p/BHINwKyDlmy/?taken-by=rondarousey
>>68956241
Ausbro just woke up.
Who Shooto here? Anything good I missed?
>>68958484
his wife looks more manly
>>68958485
read above "ausbro" you fucking douche
>>68958485
two quick finishes in the first two fights, one armbar and one tko
was a soccer kick to the head at the start of the last fight, bretty good
>>68958156
>he can't scrounge $10 a month
>>68958550
>Soccer kick
Vale Tudo rules?
>>68958560
>he doesn't use a cracked account
>>68958560
>he's bragging about $10 a month
>>68958610
who KeePassX so this never happens here
>>68958610
>he can't scrounge $10 a month either
>>68958615
neither can he
>>68958661
>willingly paying for something you can get for free
you all Schaub haters are fucking cheeto fingered nerds, can't see greatness when it slaps you in your spotty face.
>Not making it so you just save 100 bucks each year
Its around my birthday and I always get money as a gift
>>68958587
nah, he got told off by the ref.
>>68958484
wen u out with ur gf having a gud time but remember mcgoobz heemed u in 10 seconds
requesting spicy bangers list please
They got Jacare for the announcing!
>>68958714
Anthony Pettis vs Eddie Alvarez
John David or Jesus, who u got?
>>68958714
edgar v faber
mighty mouse v dodson 2
tj v cruz
wonderboy v rory
>>68958714
Struve vs. Rosholt
Is there a man alive who can beat Michael "The Count" Bisping?
>dat rockhold banter
the absolute madman
>>68958780
not without steroids
>>68958714
Gonzaga vs erohkin
>>68958484
>>68958529
She must be a tranny.
He is brazilian after all.
>>68958780
Only Fedor can come close
reminder
>>68958813
thanks
>>68958780
5th round lawler.
>>68958828
Who is /heem/ gonna narc on first?
>>68958828
usada is the worst thing to happen to the ufc
>>68958855
anyone here a convincing liar over the phone? i can't pull it off
>>68958859
correct
>>68958560
>he pays only because he can afford it
Is Jones' reach an unfair advantage? Should he be forced to move up to HW?
>>68958855
Sage!
>>68958859
I agree. I 100% do not give a single fuck if a fighter is using steroids. Let them all use steroids for all I care, and let the ones who want to have a go at it the natural route give it a shot if they want. Who fucking cares, we're watching grown men try to knock each other's heads off and/or strangle each other ffs
>there are goofs in /heem/ *right now*, that don't trane in the gi 3x a week MINIMUM
Was a spicy roller list ever compiled?
>>68958876
Me, I'll probably give 'em something on Gadelha or whoever. Unless you got a better option.
>>68958876
I'll do fine with prepared material, but if they ask me questions I'll fall apart off the cuff
>>68958943
no such thing, submissions are for cowards
>>68958943
That was me.
So far I have
Demian Maia vs Ed Herman
Alex Caceres vs Jimy Hettes
Alex Caceres vs Roland Delorme
Carlos Newton vs Kazushi Sakuraba
Diego Sanchez vs Nick Diaz
Demian Maia vs Gunnar Nelson
Ayaka Hamasaki vs Amber Brown
Phil De Fries vs. Rob Broughton
Fabricio Werdum vs John Olav Einemo
Alan Patrick vs. Damien Brown
Nam Phan vs Jimy Hettes
Paddy Holohan vs Louis Smolka
Charles Oliveira vs Hatsu Hioki
DaMarques Johnson vs. John Maguire
Any other suggestions?
>>68958992
YAWN
>>68958992
You got any WMMA sensual rollers?
If you are subscribed to UFC Fight Pass and don't find yourself using the site remember to cancel your subscription before they slap your bank account with 95 bucks out of nowhere. Then you're in a position where you've already paid for it, so you go back to using it begrudgingly, then a year goes by you used it once and they've taken another 95! BEWARE these Zuffa people know how to make money they don't give a f***. I wonder what it's like to actually work for this crooked ass company. I just wasted 95 bucks AGAIN F***! F***!
>>68958945
i don't know if there's any value in it, claudia already passed a bunch of their meme tests
>>68958780
literally every person in this thread
>>68958992
Brian Ebersole vs. T.J. Waldberger
wtf
>>68959041
No? Hamasaki vs Brown is a good womens roller though.
Boxing is way more entertaining than mma.
Prove me wrong.
>>68959041
this is all I have
>>68959046
you are genuinely retarded mate
>>68959079
Narc on DC
+1 Trickery (Deceit)
>>68959096
Added to the list. I will makea screenshot someday.
Should I add numbers to them like the bangers?
>>68959122
fuck off zuffa shill
>>68958888
this
>>68959128
you gotta have some specific information to make it worth their time, like the name of a place they'll be/where they're getting drugs from etc.
>>68959150
Yes
>>68958992
Nogueira vs. Couture
WE ARE LIVE
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
>>68959147
That was pretty lame. Why wouldn't he at least try to land a punch on his way back in?
>>68959211
cheers keep em coming
>>68959166
rich piana
>>68959227
No! Frick off >:(
>>68959112
I watched a bunch of Ali and Tyson fights on youtube once and they were all boring as fuck. Naseem Hamed is the only fun boxer I've ever watched
>>68957926
eww
why hasn't joe rogan been raided
>>68959276
Did you watch Thurman vs Porter last night?
Spicy af foty
>>68959227
You're going to turn yourself into a cuck listening to this shit, Anon.
>>68959227
>You are now about to witness; the awesome, crushing might of KNUCKLE UUUUUUPPPPPP
>>68959227
>this nigger talkin bad about brexit
wtf
>>68959331
cuckle up
>Things I like about new fightpass
New player
Saves fights/videos where you left off
Reccomended fights
>>68959371
he's an idiot
>>68959373
>being a progressive free thinker is being a cuck
only on 4chan
>>68959371
everyone under the age of 65 is talking bad about brexit
>>68959394
>I'm a samurai
>>68959424
>progressive free thinker
>on if i did it eugene said he is voting for hillary clinton
>>68959448
not me
>>68959424
>unirionically describing yourself as a freethinker
>""""""""""progressive"""""""""
>>68959466
the other choice is Drumpf
Eugene is pretty badass, has legit jits, he is the epitome of an alpha male.
>>68959371
>I had the idea for yahoo before yahoo
Do I watch these boring af fights or the Olympic trials?
>>68959599
b-both
>>68959599
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
>>68959599
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHDpO4RGRZo
how about the new TFATK?
>>68959516
such a qt
>>68959645
objectively a 10
>>68959227
>based nigga that knows even less about EU politics than me breaking down Brexit
webm that transition?
>>68959516
eww
>>68959599
Olympic Trials
real fight fans don't support any government or society
what fites are you guys watching?
Where were you when you realized Aldo is still THICC?
>>68959524
>>68959812
SHOOTO
(FOR FREE)
>>68959790
>you will never invent your own country in the middle of the ocean and start up Waterworld FC
>>68959812
Shooto Brazil
Saw a pretty brutal heem
your thoughts when you see this image?
>>68959790
I'm a citizen of Earth
>>68959827
Can't wait for this meme to die on July 9th desu
>>68959516
I'd heem this twink
>>68959891
Your tears will be delicious my friend
What is your UFC walkout song?
>>68959827
I am da bigger man here
>>68959524
>those complexions
Literally Luke Thomas-tier.
>>68959951
Luke Thomas obviously has some kind of mental illness.
>>68959946
Does anyone think Conor is on the gas?
>>68959943
Anything by Rocktagon
>>68959946
>168 pounds
>>68959943
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4Ok35HEJQ
>>68959524
would
>>68959940
Sure buddeh
>Aldo heems Frankie
>Conair looses again to Nate
>Aldo heems Mcgregor
>Looses belt
>Comits Sudoku
I can see this happening
>>68960083
noice
>>68960063
>>Aldo heems Frankie
>>68960051
>all the people at the gym who imitate conors movement
>>68960063
>Aldo heems Frankie
>>68960104
>>68960132
Fresh batch of (You)s lads
>>68960063
>Conair looses again to Nate
>Aldo heems Mcgregor
>>68960171
Those are the most likely outcomes of both those fights lad
>>68960104
>>68960132
capped. I see you guys here after the fight
>>68960023
nah just steaks
>>68960197
yeah, frankie hasn't been knocked out yet, all his losses are decision
>Aldo isn't shit
What's your favorite comeback /heem/?
Mine's Mir getting rocked then breaking Nog's arm and submitting him.
>Aldo won their 1st fight
>>68959943
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yFs7ddeZmg
Post fighters you dislike that most of heem likes
I'll start
>Stephen Thompson
>BJ Penn
>>68960399
>implying most posters here watched MMA back then
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1mL_8f0v1s
fight of the year candidate
>>68960712
>Mark Hunt
>Brendan Schaub
>Nick Diaz
>Conor McGregor
>>68960778
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iztwEyQCfkg
The USADA effect
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/6/26/12025798/georges-st-pierre-says-he-could-easily-fight-at-lightweight-in-ufc
>>68960881
He and Firas were saying that like 2 years ago at least.
>>68960850
>why the fuck are you talking to me crazy right now just do it
>>68960712
I'd say Schaub, but he's not a fighter
>>68960712
Mark Hunt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTnkXKTP7J4
>wew
it starts with one thing
>>68961002
Bless you you disgusting heathen
>>68961303
it starts just where the light exists
>>68961261
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2EdqQll5oQ
>>68961261
She got that LONG DICK
>Eminem
Bet the house on Leonardo
>>68960338
I liked when Chris Leben would be getting beat and land a magic hook for the walkoff comeback. Pretty sure he did it more than once.
>>68961406
Kek'd
>>68960338
josh samman btfo-ing the wrestle-fuck guy
>>68961002
Why do you dislike him? He's the quintessential American jock.
>>68956241
How do all these MMA fighters perform backflips like that? That shit is incredibly difficult. I don't think gymnastics are a part of their weekly routine.
>>68961406
>Rumble Johnson family gathering
fucking adorable
>>68961303
I don't know why.
>>68961576
>incredibly difficult
lol every kid who does '''''''parkour''''' because he can't play a real sport can do them
>>68961700
>real sport
no sports are real
>>68961691
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
>>68961464
Lawler walks out to Eminem every fight
>>68961978
Lawler lost 2 of his last 3 fights
>>68962071
n-no
>>68962071
Lawler hasn't lost a round since Strikeforce
>>68962336
He lost an entire fight to Hendricks.
>>68961978
lawler walks out to sam and dave
>>68961832
I thought chocolate-encrusted gentlemen were Gustafsson's kryptonite
>>68962481
He beat Hendricks, that's why he's champion
>>68962614
African-Americans
Manuwa is a Brit.
>>68962998
Is it the cuck hormones the swedish government puts in their water that stops him from beating african-americans
>never subscribed to FightPass
>never ordered UFC merchandise
>never bought a PPV event
>never wore Reebok
>torrent everything
Free entertainment.
>inb4 too poor to afford it
No, it's a cultural thing. Piracy control is only limited to central Europe. Everyone else pirates, so why be a slave to one more additional American corporation?
>inb4 not a real fitefan
goofs are where its at
i dont know if any of you follow ufc on snapchat but every sunday dennis bermudez hosts a very goofy and comfy cooking series where he makes some sort of healthy dish. it's a good watch and he's likable
>>68963314
>why be a slave to one more additional American corporation
what american corporations do you feel you're a slave to
>>68963321
Does SnapChat respect my digital freedoms?
>>68963170
If Gustaffson was able to fully resist the swedish government's subliminal indoctrination that prevents him from harming black men he would be the GOAT, bigger than GSP and Silva
>>68963314
>socialist yurop has no concept of supporting a product you enjoy so you can continue to enjoy it/it can get better
>>68963475
It asks for access to your photos
>>68963434
Apple, Microsoft, Nike, Coca Cola, Starbucks, McDonalds, KFC, BurgerKing, Mars, Visa.
Can't live without them really.
>>68963314
You are everything that has gone wrong in this world, Rusev. Shame on you.
>>68963314
Bulgaria you are quickly becoming the worst poster on /heem/
>>68963826
It would be difficult
>>68963826
>Microsoft
>visa
Ok
>Apple
Sure, if you're in a creative field I guess
>the rest
You fucking fatass
Why would anyone ever fall for the female meme, let alone the marriage meme?
http://mmajunkie.com/2016/06/with-horse-gone-and-wife-leaving-don-frye-says-ufc-hall-of-fame-came-at-the-right-time
>>68964091
He's a presumptuous no talent, and im an NYU graduate, sucka
>>68964957
Who the fuk are you?
>>68964886
Why would a woman leave him? He's uber manly (for a white guy) and relatively famous.
>don't even watch soccer
>get invited to watch Argentina/Chile game by several spics friends
>none of them are from Argentinian or Chilean but tell me this is kinda like South American Superbowl
>"eh at least there will be some good food"
>there is
>watching game
>this ref
>red card
>yellow card
>there are actually fuckbois who want to bring shit refs and cards back to MMA like Pride did
Heem yourselves
End of 2nd round, Pezao retired between rounds,
>>68963826
Dude, I'm a slave to McDonald's too. A Big Mac and fries is delicious
>>68966009
This. All the cards were are warnings and point deductions plus taking the fighters money. Its fucked up
That was close.
>>68967004
thanks for the webms m8y
>Ryan Jimmo dead.
RIP
>>68967579
wtf
>>68967579
>killed in a hit and run
Holy shit, that's awful. Jimmo seemed like a really funny, intelligent, and nice person. It's surprising that that happened in Canada too. You guys are usually known for being nonviolent.
>>68967579
A truck ran him over. Was it the same truck that forced him to exit his vehicle or what?
>>68967579
has it been confirmed yet?
>>68967739
seems so. got into an argument then I guess the guy ran him over or something.
>>68967796
a few (reliable) twitters have confirmed it but nothing official.
>>68967579
need confirmation. All I can find is a reddit post and a link to a story that doesnt identify the victim
>>68967579
Nice. Always disliked him.
>>68967695
>>68967579
wonder who could be behind this..
https://twitter.com/NickUFC/status/747247422699560961
https://twitter.com/NickUFC/status/747247422699560961
https://twitter.com/NickUFC/status/747247422699560961
>>68968037
>source is a 15 year old kid
>>68968263
I mean the guy deserves to be in jail but sports fans go too far
why is everyone in MMA dying
>>68968306
kek
didn't catch that
>>68968477
streaming
>>68968477
sacrifices for good events
>>68968706
Is he a sacrifice for UFC 200 or FN 90?
>>68968790
Dana White hired Kalib Starnes to kill Jimmo as a sort of ritual for International Fight Week Events.
>>68968790
He has less than 100k twitter followers, so probably fight night.
>jimmo dead
What the fuck
>>68966174
Japanese are weird. You can soccer kick, stomp people, knees to the head on the ground. But God forbid you cut someone. Albeit I understand some of it. They feel ripped off if a fight ends via cut. I get that. But apparently they don't like the sight of blood. Jones might get cucked. He does that Randy shit where they hold you against the cage. Might make Japanese refs mad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sblR0eIRW-I
>>68969355
what really gets me is taking the fighters money. its really fucked up
what should happen to hit n run murderers?
they should be permaheemed 2bh lads
RIP Ryan Jimmo
>>68969535
If you aren't entertaining you don't deserve some of your money. Goofs BTFO. Just Bleed. Your opinion =wgaf
>>68969638
>what should happen to hit n run murderers?
Run them over with 18wheelers until their tomato paste.
>I enjoyed Heat
>no it isn't a boring movie at all
>>68969917
until their tomato paste what
>>68970715
heat is plebcore
>>68970715
leave Heat out of this you fuckin goof, just because you were born in like 1997 and have terrible taste in everything
>Johny's steakhouse didn't even last long enough to get a Kitchen Nightmares episode
ah fuck just imagine what could have been
>>68971154
THESE GREEN BEANS ARE FUCKING FROZEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro4yhp9L6Ok
Post walk ins
>/heem/ sent to page 6 by divegrass
>>68971154
>>68972034
THE WAY YOU MISS WEIGHT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LOVE FOOD! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK!
>>68971111
The quads have spoken
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGiX6BVyQC8
>>68972259
>Gordon yelling at Bigg Pigg
>gets suplexed into a table or something
>>68972108
https://youtu.be/vJoyrOqEguc
>>68972108
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7iVsdRbhnc
>>68958190
This guy literally pays Dana to watch regional organisations
>>68972476
>implying he wouldnt just sniff gordons dick
fuck soccer
>>68969355
Mate their main distributor was a massive TV network
>>68972946
Thats a good point. Fox also hates bloody ufc shows. And its probably why Strikeforce did not have elbows.
>>68972857
what is succ-er?
I only know football.
>>68973043
It's exactly why Strikeforce didn't have elbows.
>>68972209
You mean you don't like 6 threads on the home page with the same image and topic, saying either apologize or JUST?
>>68973156
I was 99 percent sure but I didnt know exactly.
>>68969917
Sometimes you have to hit n run. It's very dangerous to stay at the scene, mobs often form around the scene and attack the person who hit somebody, even if accidental.
Like, if you're in the ghetto and some kid runs out onto the road and you can't avoid it, they'll kill you if you stick around and try to reason with them about what happened.
Bryan Callen is 50 years old and fucking shredded.
Anyone else idolize this dude like I do? He's a genius.
>>68974227
hi Bryan
What's arguably the bloodiest UFC bout in recorded history?
>>68974499
Cain Velasquez vs Antonio Silva at UFC 146
Dude, some big guy came out of his car and threatened me at a red light today. I hit him with my car and headed straight home.
>>68974499
Lawler-MacDonald 2
Miller-Lauzon
Velasquez-Silva
JIMMO NO!!!!
>>68974595
Lawler-MacDonald 2 actually wasn't all that bloody
>>68974555
Holy shit did you kill MMA fighter Ryan Jimmo?
>>68974709
hell be fine
>>68974499
Dominick x Aldo.
>>68974536
>>68974595
>>68974772
What about that webm with Renato Sobral choking out some overly bloodied fella?
>>68974818
that was wec
>>68972108
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCJFTBe039Q
>arena goes dark
>quiet
>...
>...
>flashing white light from the jumbotron and all around the arena
>SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhuhhhhnnnnctuhhhsss
>Saaahahhhnctus
>Benedictus, Benedictus...
>jumbotron flashes to me in the back
>my team is wearing nothing but white
>white Reebok kit
>white Reebok logos on white shorts
>all white gloves
>I'm standing still looking up with my eyes closed, my hands to my sides arms bent at the elbow, palms facing up
>I'm just finishing the last words of A Knight’s Prayer
>I make the sign of the cross
>slowly tilt my head down
>In nomine
>Doaaahhhhhmineeehhhhhh...
>open my eyes looking directly at the camera
>SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhuhhhhnnnnctuhhhsss
>I look away from the camera and hold a thousand yard stare
>walk slowly to the cage surrounded by my team in all white cutting through the darkness of the crowd and security
>go through the inspection with eyes closed
>go to middle of the cage
>GLoooOOOOOOOHHHRIIIAAAAAAAAAHH
>looking up eyes closed, hands to stretched out to sides, palms facing up
>similar to the Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci
>slowly rotate
>arms still outstretched
>eyes closed
>Benedictus, Benedictus...
>complete a full rotation
>SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhuhhhhnnnnctuhhhsss
>thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
>open my eyes
>look back down
>walk to my corner
>close my eyes again
>"Fighter are you ready?"
>"Fighter are *you* ready"
>I nod
>"Let's Get It On!"
open my eyes and do battle.
>>68975009
David Heath, thats a bloody one
>>68975212
He's literally fighting in a big pond of blood.
Yall niggas got webms of blood?
>>68975449
nah but i have this
>>68975638
Who is this mammal animal
>ryan jimmo is dead
is anyone sad?
>>68975822
yes
it could happen to any of us
hopefully not before 200
>>68975891
Damn dude, you just scared me. I can't miss 200
>>68975638
>it's okay to lay your severely sweaty and smelly asshole and testicles on your opponents face during transitions on the ground
>it's unacceptable if your asscrack or tits show and the fight needs to be stopped
Don't get me wrong, you should be allowed to adjust your wardrobe during a fight but the ref doesn't need to pause the match, nor do you need to show respect to your opponent and give him a second or two to adjust.
>>68975822
its quite disturbing that he was murdered
>>68975936
just goes to show that you can't wrestle fuck a car
>>68975935
eyl edgelord
BJ Penn called out GSP on twitter for a fight
top lel
>>68976181
Fucker would be out of breath after 1 round
>>68976181
Blowjob Pen wants to have a second triple loss streak against a single fighter.
>>68976181
top lel its real
>>68976362
BJ seems increasingly desperate for validation/money/attention. Not sure which is the primary motivator. Suicide in the next 5 years?
>>68976346
Is he going to be disciplined for not breaking the hold right away?
>>68976441
Money
No
>>68976445
Cant tell if joking or not
>>68976441
>>68976464
he wants people to forget hes a rapist
>>68976000
myles jury is my anti boy
isn't BJ suspended by USADA
>>68976486
I'm not familiar with /heem/. I remember Dana White kicking some guy out of the UFC for not breaking a hold and wonder if it's happened more than once.
>>68976346
what the actual fuck happened here?
>>68976609
Thats the incident he was talking about. Babalu Sobral held onto a choke after a guy tapped and put him to sleep. Dana terminated his contract and told him he would never fight in the UFC again.
A similar situation happened when Paul Daley punched Josh Koschek after the fight was over.
>>68976708
Dont forget paul harris
>>68976445
The UFC cut him immediately afterwards. Just like the did with Paul Harris for not letting go of the leg lock against Mike Pierce. Zero Tolerance for dirty submission artists just like it should be.
Vinny Megalash
>>68976362
Such a faggot.
>>68976346
was that yamasaki? why did he just watch as that guy got (simulated) murdered and not start punching or something
>>68976832
But guys punching someone while they are out cold are A-OK
>>68976832
>9
>>68976763
>>68976708
>>68976611
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/hjCVbEPyJck
here's the fight
>>68976441
Attention. He comes from money. Made a ton fighting. UFC gave him a gym too.
>>68976486
He isn't a rapist. He is a douchebag however. He was fucking that guys girlfriend for a good amount of time too.I don't even like Penn but the story had too many holes.
>BJ has treated me like shit for a long time
>of course I still work for him
>why wouldn't I?
>he raped my Playboy Model gf
>he saw her and couldn't resist her
>Yes I was trying to get a couple of guys who work for BJ Penn.com to leave and start our own thing
>yeah they ratted me out to BJ and told him they weren't leaving
>Yes I was going to tell BJ eventually after we had left
>He fired me over that can you believe that
>yes he helped me out,got me credentialed
>doesn't matter what the police say
>>68976934
that was Steve Mazagatti actually.
Yamasaki is a legit BJJ Black Belt and would have fucked Babalu up
Sittichai calls for Petrosyan in his soft spoken manner.
https://youtu.be/ydJSQRVZRWY
>>68976966
Yes, because you go until the ref tells you to stop.
The only way those situations would be comparable is if someone went in for more punches AFTER the ref pulled him off of the guy who was out cold.
>>68976611
the other guy trash talked him and Babalu took it really seriously. I dont think it was even that bad either. Babalu got pissed he called him motherfucker.
>>68977038
is this a movie about child porn?
In 14 days so much about the MMA world will be different.
Give me your boldest prediction about the UFC 200 weekend
>>68977162
Brock Lesnar wins in dominating fashion
>>68977100
DC by dicc succ
>>68977196
that is possible if he just shoots for a takedown 5 seconds in and holds Hunt down long enough to TKO him
>Argentinian athlete
>"the national team is over for me"
>American athlete
>"I've been waiting for this pain...HURT ME MORE!"
who here is ready for piana vs genova 2?
Hi, I was literally gifted my last three victories and now people have the gall to call me a top ten WW fighter in the world.
>>68977380
Already ducking Schaub I see
http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2016/6/26/12033462/ufc-200-mma-news-interview-mark-hunt-brock-lesnar-title-shot
I hope hes not taking him lightly
>>68977337
Leave Messi alone you bully.
>>68977372
>>68977462
>literally memed into irrelevancy
>>68976362
BJ is a roiding can.
>>68977462
Why did he nod at Wonderboy? Fixed fight much?
>>68977462
>beating Johny's ass
>kick him awkwardly in the crotch
>"I'm sorry I'm sorry"
>"It's okay"
>return to beating Johny's ass
>>68977589
He did that shit that Conor did to Nate. That little nod like "eh good shot but I'm fine" But in reality he isn't.
>>68976362
>"Georges, I'm going to go to the death, I'm going to try to kill you and I'm not joking about this."
>>68976362
ayy lmao
>>68977675
I never noticed the accidental groin shot. The head nod makes way more sense now.
>>68977399
I have been stressing about it since not long after it was announced. All the classic signs of Hunto being lazy and distracted are there.
The Hunto cycle
>slacks off and has shit performance
>gets depressed about it
>works hard for next fight and has good fight
>repeat from top
>>68959561
These two sisters always get me. They're so pretty they make me depressed.
>>68977761
>slacks off and has shit performance
>gets depressed about it
>works hard for next fight and has good fight
>repeat from top
that's literally my life
>>68977780
Faggot.
>>68976362
>>68977722
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lg3wPwX8HQ
>>68960083
Literally chin first to the mat. Surprised he didn't go out cold from the fall.
>>68977959
This is my personal favorite BJ Kek video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGx9BsV4vK4
>>68977589
he was respectfully nodding towards wonderboy
>>68978264
Why did refs hate stopping Shane Carwin?
>>68978231
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl-beMYQ-K0
>soccer player loses a nailbiting title game
>better retire
>fighter gets KOed by a pillowfisted bong who absolutely rapes him mentally in the pre and post fights
>I'm gonna comeback and fucking kill you
Why are soccer players such pussies?
>>68975638
This is insanely arousing for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.
>tfw u miss the old days when u would roll with your crew and could count on everyone to fight
>if you ran into another group all you had to do was have a number advantage and u knew you would win no matter what because you knew everyone would throwdown with you if you started
not today
buncha pussy ass niggas today
>>68978471
sounds like a shitty life
>>68977589
>>68977710
>>68978261
no you fucking fake fight fans, wonderboy was asking if the previous kick struck his groin and hendricks is telling him to fight on
you fucking fake fight fans that drift in here and watch webms dont even watch fights its disgusting
*tips gi*
I'LL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
>>68978757
That'd actually be an interesting fight if Cody didn't have T-Rex arms
how many of you think you can take on tysons daughter 1on1?
>>68978966
>one of the greatest physical specimens in history
>Created that
>>68978966
Jesus cwithe
>>68978966
who /would/ here
>>68979058
>gently stroking the punching bag
Cormier really has some gay mannerisms.
>>68978966
>google Mike Tyson daughter
>click Images
jesus christ he has a lot of kids
>>68979183
he has 9 children. 7 biological, one of them dead, one adopted, and one girl he got through marriage that he considers his own
>>68979289
>>68979183
He should have had thousands.
>>68979311
Probably does have thousands if you count up all the random whores he has fucked.
>>68979058
>pulls on his dicc then slaps his face
can JBJ handle dominatrix DC?
DC is gonna one punch heem Jones, cap it.
who will be the first fighter to pull out of 200 with an injury?
>>68979624
None of them, you weirdo.
>>68979624
Aldo
jon
daniel
rich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLWkbtAjtDA
Rip in piece
>>68980244
https://youtu.be/Y3hk6pXY4gM
cheer up mate, enjoy further additions to the pigg rigg excuse book
>>68979571
DC by succ round 2
Screencap this
>>68979698
>>68980125
keep going, pussy
Which fight are you looking forward to the most?
Don't sleep on DC's high level ass slapping techniques.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJcX20XZ2Is&
>>68980748
>Real Pro Wrestling
interesting concept but wrestling can be boring for some people. I think jits or sub grappling is more exciting for most people. ADCC televised would be cool.
>>68980748
Holy shit DC is going to make Jones his girlfriend.
new
new
>>>68981074
>>>68981074
>>>68981074
>>68981074
>68981074
>>68956686
Holy shit. Cormier's a legit freak
The memes were true.
ALL OFF IT
![85829184[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8yK4uvx.jpg "85829184[1]")
![robbie-lawler-ufc-189-lip-11[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/QyJtNzc.jpg "robbie-lawler-ufc-189-lip-11[1]")
![Neil-Magny[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/y5pYCVV.jpg "Neil-Magny[1]")
![Xb88F9d[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0MzMMFM.jpg "Xb88F9d[1]")
