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beanz (ID: !fsOv7n/o1I)
2016-05-25 18:30:19 Post No. 28818062
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beanz (ID: !fsOv7n/o1I)
2016-05-25 18:30:19
Post No. 28818062
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I need to get something off of my chest. And off of other parts of me too. I'll explain.
Like you, I used to lock myself in my room. I've made a lot of great strides towards normihood, but I know all too well the terror of social interaction. Mom's friends coming over? Lock the door, headphones on, do not respond to knocking I "couldn't hear any knocking." That's called "plausible deniability." Family party? Just make a plate for me and bring it in here, mom.
Which brings me to the saucy curse whose burden I can share with only you rejects.
It was a summer barbecue that ruined my life. I was in my room playing return to castle wolfenstein when I had mom make me a plate. Barbecue chicken, corn, salad, some chocolate cake for dessert... and beans. A heaping pool of steaming beans.
I ate intermittently between rounds.
It was surely some jovial trickster demon that made the internet go out that day. My connection was usually rock-solid.
So here I am, windows taped shut with black electrical tape, air conditioner on full blast, and no internet to help me pretend that all my smart-mouthed cousins and back-patting uncles didn't exist by blasting nazis.
What to do? Masturbate, of course. I looked in my archives for a video. I settled on an appropriately big-titted whore in a pixelated gangbang. Quality was low back then. I get to business.
Internet back on. No warning. Game's starting. Countown to nazi blasting: 8, 7, 6...
Fuck it, I'll finish this chilly boner off later.
As I ready the controls, my mom-assembled summery barbecue plate tumbles, overlooked in my jittery addition to online murder. My rigid cock is now covered in a rich, tomatoey sauce.
Sigh.
There's time to clean up after this round.
I hear new sounds. Was there a sound package in the new update? No... it sounds like... girls laughing?
Continued...