Hey femanons, can you describe your ideal boyfriend?
>>28626782
OP, but not a fag
>must lift and not be fat
>not allowed to play video games, unless its WoW
>must like no-talking based ASMR videos
>must not have any friends and easy going family
>must have some form of income, doesn't have to be a lot, just enough to help out with paying bills.
that would be my perfect bf
you hate roasties but create threads in the hope that they come here and post in here
but instead you attract homosexuals in denial that they have a benis.
you are a shitposter of the worst kind.
>>28626782
anyone but you t.bh
>>28626826
I fit all of those criteria except every time I watch an ASMR video I am nervous the entire time because I assume it is a trick and there will be loud screaming or other loud noises to startle me.
implying that any female browses this Taiwanese prostitute biding site ( if you're guy in a dress that don't count either)
>Long blond hair
>Blue eyes
>Pale
>serious face (doesnt smile a lot except when i go out of my way to do something special for him)
>hates the people around him except for me and his family
>not vegan or rather, just not picky with food
>typically hates going out but can tolerate going to the beach with me
>loves to read books and watch horror films
>outspoken (tells me exactly that he doesnt like this and that, im dumb when it comes to subtle hints)
>is okay to sometimes spending time with me in silence
>wants to have kids (at least 2)
>balding
>short
>penis under 5 inches
>NEET
>still lives with his mother
>never goes outside
>overweight or underweight
>autism and/or any other mental disorders
Men like this get me so wet
>>28628335
I actually hit most of that, just missing the blonde hair. That and I'll watch horror movies but I'm not into them or anything.
>>28629294
>tfw none of these
Would you settle for a 7 inch peepee?
Perfect bf
>dead
>decomposing
>skeletal
>brown hair that grows into a nice fluffy wave and looks qt as fuck
>brown eyes that are so pretty and you can't stop looking at
>he's obviously white
>a big thick giant penis with a high sex drive
>wants at least four kids within the next ten years
>similar in age and stuff
>similar interests
>stemcuck
>is very patient and attentive
>doesn't make fun of my autism or make me feel small
>doesn't mind me being ugly, always treats me like his equal
>doesn't mind me being overweight, seems to actually like my body a lot, very attentive and hands on
>similar degenerate fetishes, sexually submissive
>won't cheat on me
Unfortunately I think my craziness drove him away.
>>28629294
I don't have any mental disorders and my penis is a six incher but the rest checks out
I hope I can still qualify.
>>28628335
I'm like this except I have red hair.
>>28629294
>tfw full head of hair, tall, 7 inch dick, well-paying job, have my own apartment, gets exercise regularly and am in good shape, and have no mental issues, and lots of friends.
Friendzoned again!
>>28629464
>doesn't mind me being overweight
Why don't you just work out?
>>28628335
Adorable it would be so neat to start a family. Are you hoping for boys or girls
>>28629509
Wow please stop raping her you fat shaming fuck.
>>28629509
Because I'm depressed and I don't want to really live so while "get a job! Study! Lose weight!" works well on normies, I don't see the point in doing anything because I'm going to hate myself anyway and I'm constantly going to be reminded that I'm a disappointment anyway
I'm socially overweight though, not clinically. So I guess there's that too.
>northern European by heritage
>blue, grey, or green eyes
>nationalist
>intelligent
>well read
>physically fit
>does not use mind altering substances
>owns guns
>even here, femanons will never prefer anything but white men
Just end my life
>>28629543
>I'm socially overweight though, not clinically
but what does it mean?
>Be neet lady that has bf.
He is a slender tall blonde guy with an amazing job and I'm at home on /R9K/. I Feel that I'm fucking it up. I need to become normie fast so, I can keep him. He is the only person who cares about me. He is the only friend I have, If I loose him I'm going to be forever meme again.
>>28629583
Gladly. Non-whites are fucking scum and Jewish tools used to undermine the white race.
>>28629595
Get the fuck out of here roastie. GET OUT GET OUT
>>28629583
Everything is a lie
Just get yourself a rape slave
The dude in this photo
>>28629587
It means most normies look at me and think "wow she's chubby" because I have a bf% higher than 16, while doctors would tell me that I'm not on the overweight or obese spectrum.
>>28629583
>tfw you hear whiteys complaining on /r9k/
They can literally just go outside and get everything they want.
>>28629583
I actually prefer anything but white, please
>>28628335
I am most of that, but you are likely not real or just fishing for attention so it doesn't matter
Tall, dark, and handsome.
Also must be a virgin or he's trash.
>>28629634
Ayy, day of the rope hype.
>>28626782
>white
>has at LEAST an MS
>likes staying inside and cuddling
>25+
>5'8" or taller
>dark hair
>not fat
>>28629623
The entire Jewish media and education system is geared towards non-whites. You are discriminated FOR in countries you don't belong in. You have everything you could ever need and you still cry about being oppressed. Fuck off back to your own country.
>>28629620
Fuck off, kike, niggers are a lower species than the bonobo.
>>28629674
Why are white people so racist? We were having such a polite thread.
>>28629693
Because the white man hates people who are in the wrong, because he is always in the right. And you should go kill yourself for not realizing who is the true master race.
>White
>Tall
>Hair colour, I don't mind. So long as he has hair and won't go bald.
>Blue, green or grey eyes. No brown eyes sorry.
>Is at least 4 years older than me, I'm 21.
>Likes gardening so we can garden together.
>Wants lots of children, to help out the white race.
>Likes reading, preferably so we can read together.
>Politically is conservative.
>Good with money.
>Has a successful job, preferably where he wears suits.
>Is happy for me to be a housewife, so I can take pride in the home and the children.
>Likes hiking.
>Loves cuddles and dogs.
>Articulate.
>>28629294
i knew coming to /r9k/ would pay off eventually
be my gf
>>28629674
I'm not whining about being oppressed, I'm whining about not being desirable. Seeing how white is listed in every post I don't know how it's possible for whites to be robots. I would love to go back to my country to be honest
>>28626782
>Is hygienic
>smart
>kind
>makes me laugh
That's about it
>>28629693
>enter countries illegally
>mooch off benefits and contribute nothing
>cry about everything from the food to the climate
>raise crime rates dramatically and force law abiding natives into their homes at night
>ruin the country for everyone except some multi-billionaire Jews
>Y r u so rayciss? XD
Fuck off. I hate you.
>>28626782
>blonde or light brown hair
>blue eyes
>a police officer, in the military, or maybe a security guard
>strong jaw
>doesn't play vidya or watch anime
>within half an hour away from me
>between 5'10-6'3 (will go to 5'8-6'4 if he's worth it)
>longest relationship at least over one year
>no excessive tattoos
>has mostly pure ancestry, not 2% Irish, 20% Slavic, etc
>his parents aren't divorced
So yeah there's that. I'm so fucking picky which is why I'm single, but I don't want to settle for less.
Pic related was my dream guy. Now he looks pathetic
>>28629734
Then fucking go, you stupid faggot. But you won't because you get to live on easy mode here.
>>28629748
See
>>28629607
Please do the same
Black hair. Gray or brown eyes. Tall, preferably skinny than fat. Thick eyebrows. Not muscular but wide back. Average to big dick. Big balls.
Dresses normally, preferably in black, blue or white. I dont need him to have ambition but i would like him to be very determined. Interested in anime, or literature, or any "geek" hobby of any kind. Quiet personality, doesnt stand out. Not a family guy. Prefers to stay at home than going out. Doesnt go clubbing. Knows how to cook. Doesnt want children or at least not in the next ten years. Somewhat interested in comfort.
There, i made it as specific as i could.
>>28626782
>sarcastic realist, but still capable of opening up about feelings when he needs to
>creative type and has his own thing to get really psyched up about
>likes my artwork
>not easily angered but willing to confront problems
>humor as a coping mechanism
>decently healthy as I don't want to worry about his death, but not overdoing it in a douche way. no organic everything, or calorie counting, If he goes to the gym that shouldn't be most of what he talks about etc.
>can be really sweet, but not to just anybody
>hates his family
>a little bit overly clingy
>high sex drive
>>28628335
This is me though I have hitler youth hair.
>>28629766
>you stupid faggot
I'm not replying to you anymore
>>28629731
this is exactly me but im 2 years older. too bad we will never meet
originini
>>28629793
FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT
SHITSKIN SHITSKIN SHITSKIN
>>28629742
I was born here, I contribute no more than any other roboto. But the white man still keepin' me down. You'll never know true oppression white slaver!
>>28629790
post your artwork, there's no point making that a bullet point without an example
And that is a fat autistic girl with a shithole for an armpit
>>28629816
2 years is okay I guess. Just four years was a preference.
>>28629826
You're given everything you could need. You're the least oppressed people in the world.
>>28629836
>armpit and anal sex all in one
pretty hot imo
>>28629790
holy shit thats me
except for the family part
>>28629748
>i want chad
women.......
>>28629543
Im depressed with ADD and I excercize 4 times a week you fat fuck.
>>28629790
LOL
I actually meet most of these, first time for everything I guess. Whats your artwork look like?
>>28629294
todays your lucky day baby girl
>>28629294
I'm the guy you've looking for m'lady
You can move in with me and my schizophrenic mom
>>28626826
>must not have any friends
That's some sort of psycho killer tier requirement
>>28629294 kek
>>28629790 me, but your art is shit let me tell you
>>28629832
>>28629889
I've been to busy as a wagecuck to make anything serious recently, but here are my doodles from the past week
>>28630078
that's actually not bad. good work Jamie.
i hope you're attracted to autism cause im about to start hitting on you. got contact info?
>>28630078
How old are you anon? These look like something an older person would draw
So lets up it. Femanons post pics woth description
>>28630078
what do you use to draw these? i need some new art stuff
>>28630163
ahaha I knew posting a screen shot would somehow reveal more than I wanted it to. message [email protected] - and I'll send my Skype info
>>28630174
I'm 22, but iv'e been through some shit
>>28626826
>must not have any friends
Haha fuck you bitch, my bros ALWAYS come before hoes
>>28630267
really small tip pens .5 hi tech from asia and some bigger micron pens, sometimes colored pencils
>>28629790
Lmao i come here to laugh at neet's and spergs but that is a little to close to home. holy shit i didnt know i was someones "dream" guy but yeah good luck finding someone irl
>fat, chubby
>black hair
>Baby face
>>28630666
Post more boys like this pls
>>28630666
nice trips, I'm what you want, how do we make this happen?
>>28629826
>NEET scum
>contribute nothing to society
>''hurr durr oppressed''
>>28626782
>>28630107
straight man here.
if I was a woman, I'll happily beg to date a man who:
>spends most of his free time either in creativity or in self-teaching
>like good anime (usagidrop ok, reconguista no, zipang ok, nisekoi no, ...)
>educated, smart, loyal, not on the cheap side.
TL;DR: I'm a straight man playing with legos, ham radio and arduinos, learning japanese and rust programming language, having a decent wage but not wasting into mainstream normiestuff... Welcome, girls !!! GIRLS, GIRLS, GRRRRRRLS!!!!!!
>likes me
>not fat
>not a shitskin
That's pretty much it desu
A man that loves me like my dad never did.
>>28629748
>tfw no blue eyes anymore
>tfw no police officer, military man or security guard
Almost had it.
>>28629294
Does anybody ever notice that women hate/insult men for things they can't control, but men are not the same way about women?
>>28629558
Wewyou forgot to say "not ginger" :(
i have no standards
but i also will never have sex so no one would want me
i dream of cuddling, hand holding, kissing, saying nice things to each other, going on walks, telling him how much i love him
but i'll just get cheated on for not putting out.
>>28630938
be my gf pls originalo
>>28628335
I fit most of this but am not blonde/blue and not into horror movies, aside from shot-on-shitteo crap that I can make fun of.
Also never heard of ASMR, what am I missing?
>straight or wavy hair, color doesn't matter
>blue, green or brown eyes
>slim or underweight
>normal height, maybe taller than me
>kind
>affectionate
>a bit clingy
>likes history, cooking, camping and cuddling and touching very often
>can be shy or soft spoken
>clean
>>28631058i'm also a trap
b-but that's not important, r-right?
>>28630929
>good anime
>usagi drop
>>28629748
Don't worry. You'll just end up with nothing.
>>28629931
Shave a corner of her head, give her some dorky glasses and dark lipstick for maximum potato head effect and that's every "cool" girl 2016 edition.
>>28628335
>>Long blond hair
may be aesthetically pleasing, but practically useless - he'll become bald in a few years
>>Blue eyes
may be aesthetically pleasing, but practically useless and will attract cringewomyn around him.
>>Pale
translates as "not a nigger". Being pale actually means "unhealthy".
>>serious face (doesnt smile a lot except when i go out of my way to do something special for him)
looks like you're searching for Darth Vader.
Also, rarely smiling guys generally have something bad to hide. Smile is not synonym of laughters.
>>hates the people around him except for me and his family
he'll hate your family and your friends - especially when you will need him near them.
>>not vegan or rather, just not picky with food
easy pick. Vegan and bizarre diet manics are mosty females.
>>typically hates going out but can tolerate going to the beach with me
so he will be able to look at other womens.
>>loves to read books and watch horror films
"read books" is way too generic. what kind of books? literature? science? fagfiction? crapstories?
horror movies - if he loves you, he will watch them even if he hates them (source: personal experience as an engaged man). Will you watch some "Captain America vs Ironman" movie with him?
>>outspoken (tells me exactly that he doesnt like this and that, im dumb when it comes to subtle hints)
apparently you don't know that every man would say this about their girlfriends. (source: personal experience - got dumped at least two times, and rejected many times, because as a man I'm still totally unable to decipher feminine subtleties).
>>is okay to sometimes spending time with me in silence
most men happily will do.
I would like to, but my gf can't stay more than 15 seconds in silence.
>>wants to have kids (at least 2)
easy pick - it takes 9 seconds for a man, and 9 months for a woman, and 9+9+9 years to get rid of.
>tall
>skinny
>pale skin
>green eyes
>straight brown hair
>clean
>mature
>horrible past but gets through the day
>doesn't like to be touched
>sensitive but manly
>selfless
>>28631073
I feel like I fit all of these which just tells me your ideals are not very specific
>>28631252
>>doesn't like to be touched
Why would I even enter a relationship if this were the case
>>28629294
>>balding
doesn't count, because it's natural.
>>short
many times it's a good thing. your RV will appear bigger and cosier.
>>penis under 5 inches
good. he won't hurt you and won't require bizarre things only seen in porn vids.
>>NEET
only good if he is rich. Having own house, own car, lots of money in bank account, and dedicating to you 24 hours per day, it must be romantic and lovely.
>>still lives with his mother
not very good, but if she will laundry and cook for you two...
>>never goes outside
so he never gets STD from prostitutes, weed & drugs from bad guys, a cold or a car accident, etc
>>overweight or underweight
not very good.
>>autism and/or any other mental disorders
absolutely UNGOOD.
>Men like this get me so wet
you need some drying.
>>28631073
I fit all of those
Where are you from?
>>28631284
So you can touch the untouchable
>>28630078
those are really cool
do you upload your art anywhere? i'd like to see more
>>28629558
>>northern European by heritage
Oy, Vey, your father is a Rabbi and won't accept a Nazi
>>blue, grey, or green eyes
and glow-in-the-dark, depending on the time of the day.
>>nationalist
no, Ukrainazi no!
>>intelligent
you should have said "smart"
>>well read
ok
>>physically fit
fit for what? laundry? cooking? dishwashing?
>>does not use mind altering substances
ok... double ok!
>>owns guns
excellent. you will lovely tell him things like: " when will I have a try on dat new MP-5 Kurz ? hey, I just need a brand new Parabellum ammo stash for my Beretta... "
ideal bf
>big boots
>big dick
>>28629663
>>white
checked
>>has at LEAST an MS
checked. also have an extra bachelor degree
>>likes staying inside and cuddling
checked twice.
>>25+
checked almost twice: I'm 47.
>>5'8" or taller
checked - I'm 173 cm
>>dark hair
checked.
>>not fat
checked.
All systems green. I am GO!
>>28631371
>I'm 47
sure, sure
post some sort of proof
>>28631309
Do the impossible?
Raw Raw Fight da Powah?
>either slightly shorter/same height as me (5'10") or 5-6 inches taller
>dark hair, dark features
>not fat, not skinny, solidly in the middle
>respectable job that pays well, able to maintain a nice standard of living
>snarky and dominant personality
>interested in cars, woodworking, or other hands on activities
>thickdick.png
Is that too much to ask for?
>>28631252
>tall
yes
>skinny
no
>pale skin
dunno
>green eyes
yes
>straight brown hair
yes
>clean
yes
>mature
depends how you define mature
>horrible past but gets through the day
ehh, something like that
>doesn't like to be touched
oh yes
>sensitive but manly
i dont know, i think so but sensitive is by definition not manly unless you mean protective
>selfless
i'd like to think so
>above 6 ft
>blue eyes
>dark hair
>well endowed
>intelligent
>takes care of his body
>>28631596
>blue eyes
>dark hair
You realize this is basically genetically impossible, right?
Also what is with fembots and eye color? Like, I'm fucking vain, but not that specifically vain
I did post my ideal bf once. Got an aussie to respond and we traded emails.
We went back and forth. We had similar taste, and got along real well. Then he just stopped responding. A few other robots too did the same.
I think im decent enough. Not perfect, but decent in a modest and good way. But I cant even get a robot to like me. Nor can i find a normie single guy that has any interest in me. Im thinking of giving up hope of finding an exceptable guy and starting a family. Maybe ill just keep working myself to death only to end each day by spooning with my doggo and pretending its what its like to sleep next to someone that loves me until im 60 and childless and off myself.
>>28631622
they're not making posts about random imagined guys, they're making posts about very specific guys they have crushes on
>>28631622
>You realize this is basically genetically impossible, right?
But it is.
>Also what is with fembots and eye color
OP said to describe ideal bf, I prefer blue eyes and dark/black hair in a combination.
>>28631622
I have blue eyes and brown hair anon. I'm also left handed. It's not that uncommon.
>>28631596
... I know at least 7 people off the top of my head who have dark brown or black hair, with light blue eyes.
You're fucking retarded DUDE
>>28631622
>You realize this is basically genetically impossible, right?
You realize you're genetically retarded, right?
>>28631742
>Not blue/green dream guy eyes.
Are you even trying?
>>28631728
>>28631742
Because it is rarer is why it's so valued.
Blue eyes don't count as much on a blond guy.Does that trigger you?
>>28631832
Wew. I gotta drink more water. I look tired.
>>28629731
>white
check
>tall
6'2
>Blue, green or grey eyes. No brown eyes sorry.
Blue
>Likes gardening so we can garden together.
I wanna grow weed, potatoes, okra, beans and lentils
>Likes reading, preferably so we can read together.
Does reading articles, stories and novels on computer count?
>Wants lots of children, to help out the white race.
I want light eyed slavic children
>Politically is conservative
check. But economically Im a socialist that favours soviet central planning with modern management and technology involved
>Good with money.
check. I can live a with 5 dollars per 2 days in my country
>>Has a successful job, preferably where he wears suits.
unfortunately no. But Im going to colledge with computer engineering.
>Is happy for me to be a housewife, so I can take pride in the home and the children.
check
>Loves cuddles and dogs.
first one yes, second one depends. I cant stand aggressive dogs
>Articulate.
I stutter due to autism but If im concentrated and calm I can be articulate
>>28631832
>that pale as fuck skin
>that next to invisible eyebrow
>dream guy
FUcking hell, you delusional albo, get real.
You look kinda fat too.
>>28631866
>Kinda
Hella.
Also don't bully my eyebrows
You're pretty perceptive. That's cool.
>>28631555
>snarky and dominant personality
Yes.
>>28631904
is just bants bro
also
would enjoy talking about how religion is wrong, and generally be euphoric with/10
Hijacking this thread to dump some feels
I had that dream again. I dreamt I was in school and was near that girl I always had a crush on, but never had the guts to tak to. And what do you know, in the dreams I too shut off and don't see on her direction, although she's right there, sitting along my table or hanging out with my school friends. I'm the loudest extroverted motherfucker in my dreams, but in this one, I purposely keep quiet and inconspicuous.
I consider myself "over" her and it's already 17-19 years since then. But everytime (once in a blue moon) when I have this dream involving her, I can't help think about it all morning.she was also the girlfriend of my best friend
That can't be healthy, innit?
>>28626782
not obese/seriously overweight, but chubby is ok.
Must have hobbies other than playing vidya/internet forums. Even watching anime is fine..
Must be someone I enjoy talking to.
>>28630270
don't know if you're still around but I tried emailing you and it said the email failed or some shit.
>>28629583
I keep telling you faggot that white guys have no excuse they can pick any other race and they will date them. white guys can't be robots.
>>28629790
How do you feel about hip-hop? I make a lot of music.
>>28632171
>hip-hop
>music
>>28631073
Im practically everything you mentioned. Idk about kind, though my my relatives are surprised I managed to actually communicate normally with my agressive schizofrenic cousin with whom I empathized with instead of treating him with disgust and fear like the rest of my family.
>>28632203
>normally with my agressive schizofrenic cousin with whom I empathized with instead of treating him with disgust and fear like the rest of my family.
and this is totally true
>>28631641
Im guy whose had many girls suddenly cut contact with no reason just as we were becoming closer. Perahps we can exchange some of our experiences?
>>28632220
Are you sarcastic?
>>28629543
>>28629543
You don't need to work out. You could decrease your neural food prep load by eating nothing but fruits, veg, and white meat, but you have 0 willpower, use social depression (we both know it's not clinical) as an excuse, and emotionally eat garbage.
>>28626782
>long hair, can be straight or wavy or curly
>either skinny, or built like peter steele
>pale (can be relative to race)
>likes anime
>doesn't like going outside
>taller than me (i'm 5'4)
>intelligent
>likes cuddling
>socially skilled/will talk to people for me when i'm too scared
>does drugs or smokes
>high sex drive
>kinky
>black/twisted sense of humor, or sarcastic
>owns guns
>doesn't mind just rambling while i listen
>creative (can be a writer, painter, designer, whatever)
>blue or green or black eyes (miss me with that light brown shit)
>opens up about his life to me
>thinks gory stuff can look cool, not easily disgusted
>can cook
>unfiltered, will call me a retard when I'm being retarded
>somewhat edgy, likes blood and horror stuff
>levelheaded
Is dark hair really that big of a deal? I can't dye my hair I'll look retarded.
>>28631641
That happens to me all the time so I know that feeling. I wish people would atleast admit it if they lost interest.
>>28630994
Yeah right explains why everybody here hates us black girls to death even though we have absolutely no control over that :)
>>28632165
I've been saying it for over a year too. I've even posted surveys and statistics showing that all races of women prefer white men, but they just won't listen. All they have to do is approach an average non-white girl and ask her out. They want a 10/10 white girl.
Meanwhile, women of my own race hate me and women of all other races won't even give me a chance
>>28632349
>we have absolutely no control over that :)
everyone has control over themselves. you can kill yourself for example and then you wouldn't be around to bother anyone
>>28632323
I'm pretty sure I failed one of the most important ones, but I hit a good chunk.
Don't have long hair right now, don't smoke/do drugs, not especially creative. I can also only cook basic stuff, but I've always wanted to learn.
Dead on for everything else.
>>28629583
Firstly, most women want children that look like them. Its near instinctual. Mothers bond better with children that they recognise themselves in. As a family this is easier to do if both parent are the same race. But if your a white girl, anything other than a white man has a negitive effect.
You can add white paint to black paint and itll still be dark. If you add even a few drops of black to white paint, itll turn a nasty gray.
Secondly, most girls wont date minorities due to their stereotypes, most of them being partly true. If black, blame and shame niggers for nigging because itll look bad on you for being black too. Ect for other races as well. A person can make up for alot of things with work, but rarely can fix a bad reputation.
Thirdly, if your a tall, light skinned asian youre lucky. Light yellow is a good substitute for white.
>>28632349
Black guy hereI want a black gf more than anything
>>28632010
And a fine tip to you as well good sir.
>I don't have a fedora.
I've failed you
>>28632470
See
>>28632489
I would kill for qt black gf but even they want whites. Literally impossible to be a robot if white
>>28632148
oh shit, try [email protected]
>>28632544
Black traits are pretty dominant. A black lady will still have children that look like her. The other way around and the logics still fucked. Its hard to find a good black girl. I honestly feel sorry for you black bots.
Most of us crackerbots that arent normie scum are only robots because of severe autism that lead us to swinding our opportunities away. Its sad, really.
>is okay with me being a black grill
>long hair
>white or part white (sorry)
>weeb
>fucked up humor
>not fat
>>28632697
I'd only ever date a black girl if she was really intelligent. Stereotypical black girls are just annoying.
>>28632697
Charcoal or propane?
>>28632697
>(sorry)
FUCKING DIE GET OUT GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>28632726
>charcoal
Disgusting
>>28632760
Enjoy eating your chemicals, faggot!
>charcoal smoker master-race
>>28632816
get it in while you can, breeder. chemicals and homosexuality are the wave of the future.
>>28631904
why is ur face so red?
>>28632872
blushing thinking about hot boners
why isn't your face red? not thinking about hot boners? fag.
>>28631371
If you're still around, post your Kik
>tfw checking to see if anyone posts anything similar to me
>tfw always too short
Being 5'7 kinda sucks lads.
(I accidentally posted in the gay thread, so I'm reposting here)
My ideal bf would be
>kind and gentle
>loyal and patient
>plays video games with me and likes to talk about game lore/fantasy rp
>treats me with love and respect
>a little submissive and needy
>likes to stay in and spend quiet nights together
>doesn't care/likes that I'm into nerdy stuff
>likes to spoil me
>helpless romantic
I'm pretty shy and a bit of an introvert, so I'd like someone who's compatible in that regard. I like tenderness and romance and lots of cuddles. I wish more guys were into those kinds of relationships. It seems most guys just want hard and fast hook ups and crass one night stands. I'm really bothered by that kind of stuff.
>>28628135
How long were you away of r9k? It's full of girls now and nobody uses that autistic "chinese cartoon site" anymore.
>>28634284
>homophobic
JK. Really tho you sound cool. I'm not looking for anything hard and fast either. Would you be down for some ~sweet talk~ while we get to know each other? desu I like girls who want to be taken care of, it's attractive
>>28634284
Define "spoil me" because I'm pretty a ok on the rest. Staying in and playing some vidya together/watching eachother and cuddling is fantastic.
>>28634284
Is this real? Seems too good to be true. I'm spot on for every single trait, I rely really heavily on communication so it's really hard for me if I'm neglected. Very few females like emotionally attentive guys from what I've seen.
>>28634284
>people falling for this obvious troll
Original poster was carrying on discussions about being gay in the gay thread, don't fall victim to this fraud's meme magic
>>28634345
I like sweet talk and being taken care of. You sound a bit like a sly willy, though.
>>28634393
Spoil meaning lavishing me with attention and treating me like a princess. I want to feel special to someone.
>>28634395
I think it's because a lot of people have a hard time with that kind of emotional commitment. You have to be really invested in the person to have that level of shared communication.
>>28634495
>You have to be really invested in the person to have that level of shared communication.
Maybe. Relationships without commitment don't appeal to me. I want to have a partner more than anything and that seems to be overwhelming to most people.
>>28634456
I didn't realize I was posting in a gay thread. It was an honest mistake and I apologized. I'm really quite embarrassed for not noticing what kind of thread it was.
>>28634495
You have skype or kik?
>>28634495
A sly willy? lol. I meant sweet talk as in emotional. My last gf only wanted something physical which left me feeling a bit hollow. I'm deffo not looking to rush into anything, but it'd be cool to find someone who wants to try and have a real connection
>>28634572
>literally openly talking about gay relationships in the context, using the word gay yourself
I'm not falling for your bait, shitpost-kun
If you were an actual fembot you'd have posted tits or GTFO'd
>>28634573
I have Skype, but I'm kind of unsure about posting it here.
>>28634687
Don't. Make a new one or a throwaway email instead. Or better yet make him post his.
>>28634687
Send it to me here
[email protected]
not u obviously
>>28634284
>It seems most guys just want hard and fast hook ups and crass one night stands. I'm really bothered by that kind of stuff.
Try an ugly guy, Tinder whore.
>>28634284
literally me but I don't know how to express my romantic feelings
>>28634687
You sound pretty awesome. If you'd want to talk sometime add me on Skype.sherbet8590
>>28634712
I don't wanna make a new one because I don't like the hassle of maintaining multiple accounts. I really would prefer to just add people instead of posting my name.
>>28634777
What?
>>28634836
>What?
WHAAAAAT
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAT
>>28634790
With words is a good starting place. Physical expression is another nice way to show your feelings. I understand how hard it can be to open up and turn those thoughts and feelings into something a bit more tangible.
>>28632165
>>28632359
This is such bullshit. I'm white with blue eyes, supposedly attractive although I don't see why, and I've never even held hands with a woman, they look at me with me disgust. I can barely talk to women regardless of race. Even if I somehow fixed my mental health I'd still be useless with women.
But I live in a pretty homogeneous country and there aren't many non-white women anyway. I'm not chasing 10/10 women, I'd be happy with any woman if she isn't fat and likes me.
Maybe it's different in America but I get the impression most people still stick to their own.
Ideal 10/10qtpa2t
>has common sence/reasoning ability
>my hight (5 and a half ft) or taller. The taller, the better
>good face proportions with angular features
>dont care if a skelly lanklet or bearmode but must have a good frame
>decent skin and thick hair
>very hygienic
>white guy with green or light blue/gray eyes
>hardworking and passionate about what he does
>is moral and fair, even to the point of hurting feelings. Expects the same standard of me
>metally tough and maybe even intimidating. Comands a natural level of respect and admiration
>can fuck peoples shit if theyre asking for it
>no assbergers, autism, mental or physical illness. genetically sound
>some quirks and flaws are ok, if presented sincerely i find them endearing
>decent dong (5 1/2 - 6 inch with good girth)
>values human decency
>no kids from previous relationships
>dont care if hes a work in progress so long as he has goals
>is actually interested in me
The absolute bare minimum my bf would need:
>genetically healthy, no issues
>is a moral person
>has his life in order
I can never find anyone, and when i do theyre taken or uninterested. I fit nearly all of my 10/10 requirements, and yet i can even find a guy with the 3 bare minimum things i ask for. Only 3 simple things to be bf material. Everything else, although is desirable, is trivial and negotiable.
Life is suffering when all you want is to spend time with someone who genuinely loves you. Doing the little things, holding hands, cracking jokes, failing at new hobbies together and laughing it off... Its horrible.
>>28635166
lol, delusional slut
>>28634284
That's me.
I literally don't care about sex, all i want is someone to love, hold hands with kiss and cuddle in bed. I value intimacy over just sex. Where are you from?
>>28635166
This ideal list gives me the impression you want someone to smack the shit out of you tbqh
>>28635166
your ideal is literally a perfect man, so yeah, good luck with that.
the bare minimum is probably some typical christian chad or something I dunno. Also you say he must have his life in order, but earlier you said you don't care if he's a work in progress as long as he has goals.
I mean, I'm a work in progress, and I've got goals, but my life is a joke at present and probably will be for the foreseeable future.
If you're a woman who is having a hard time finding a guy, then something's wrong. Might wanna check those standards.
>>28635166
Do I get knocked out of "genetically healthy" if pretty much every generation on both sides of my family have had cancer
>brown/black
>kv
>loves hunting/fishing/etc
>likes a bit of dirgey music
>but also developed an autistic obsession with something a bit "out there" like diamanda galas in his teens
>likes to get drunk every once in a while
>5'6''-ish
>hairy
>affectionate and silly
>strong sense of right and wrong
>thicc and bearded, sorta has that "I'm in a sludge/stoner metal band" look
>will protect a shy sensitive 5'9'' nubian queen from this big scary world with his hugs and affirmation and playful teasing
t-this is obtainable, r-right?
>>28629558
>does not use mind altering substances
>>28635166
women's standards never fail to amaze me
Men want a woman to be feminine, not fat, supportive and kind
Women expect a perfect alpha Chad who fits a million expectations no matter what
>>28635166
Alright, Femanon. I'm about the closest thing you're going to find to that absurd ideal list on /r9k/. Give me a (you) and I'll post skype. I'll give you a shot.
>>28628335
holy shit this is exactly me
>>28635207
How so?
>no bf or orbiters
>modest and low-drama
>not a tinder slut, or a flirt, no sex at all really
>is a decent person and wants a decent person, not an autismo neet or pump'n'dump fuckchad
You guys are always complaining about the 80/20 rule and people not going for their equivalent. Im looking for my equivalent, or hell, anyone acceptable.
>tfw I don't have ideals
>try to imagine ideal bf and nothing comes up
>if I force it all I can think of is fantastical powers and other OP bullshit
>Medium length black hair
>Must be named Ash
>First girlfriend
>Must like rock music
>He must care for me every day and I'll do the same for him
>Height doesn't matter I'm 4'7 and 86lbs
Already have him, been 9 years now, dating since I was 12.
Pic kinda related.
>>28635398
Post your own stats then
>>28629790
>>28630078
met all of these and your artwork is dope, best of luck finding someone
>>28635403
Why post this?
>>28635403
>Medium length black hair
>Must be named Ash
>First girlfriend
Gotcha anon
>>28635368
I'll be your qt, Femanon. If you're not a tinder slut and that stuff is true.
>tfw no gf to sit quietly with
>tfw no gf to go to the gallery with
>tfw no gf who enjoys my articulate austerity
>>28635499
Histrionic cunt needs attention
>>28635422
>tfw no bf with wings
Fuck this planet
The takeaway is that I need to be a femboy with long hair, isn't it? A masculine man with short hair seems to be the least desirable kind of man.
>>28635524
lmao thanks
>>28635499
I don't know also checked
He's working and I miss him I guess
>no style
>no grace
>funny face
>can handstand when he needs to
>can stretch his arms out just for me
>>28635547
>wings
>not transmutation
>>28635166
Let's give this a shot.
>has common sense/reasoning ability
Yes, I'm a thorough logical thinker.
>my height (5 and a half ft) or taller. The taller, the better
5'7 :^)
>good face proportions with angular features
Not sure on this
>dont care if a skelly lanklet or bearmode but must have a good frame
Currently overweight but losing it quickly
>decent skin and thick hair
Skin is pretty clear, have black hair that's thick/grows pretty quickly.
>white guy with green or light blue/gray eyes
White dude, brown eyes
>hardworking and passionate about what he does
Incredibly passionate about software engineering, strive to be as efficient as possible.
>is moral and fair, even to the point of hurting feelings. Expects the same standard of me
>mentally tough and maybe even intimidating. Comands a natural level of respect and admiration
INTJ so yes.
>can fuck peoples shit if theyre asking for it
Not entirely sure what you mean by this? Beating people up? Dunno. Tearing them apart mentally? Yup.
>no assbergers, autism, mental or physical illness. genetically sound
Suffering from depression but who isn't on r9k?
>some quirks and flaws are ok, if presented sincerely i find them endearing
Dunno about quirks, few flaws I guess (like current weight)
>decent dong (5 1/2 - 6 inch with good girth)
Yep
>values human decency
Yes
>no kids from previous relationships
0 kids.
>dont care if hes a work in progress so long as he has goals
Previously mentioned current weight loss
>is actually interested in me
Need to know more about you to answer this one bb.
>>28635252
Always works with sluts like that
>>28635252
>>28635262
>>28635344
Hey OP said describe the ideal, so i did. I know better to ever expect it tho. Im a realist. Thats why i only ask for the those 3 absolute minimum. I fulfill my own minimum, and so do most people.
Have you never seen the "10/10qt3.14 gf" threads? Those girls are most robots ideal girls, their personal 10/10s, even tho we all know they will never get them just as much as ill never get my ideal guy.
Its no different scenario, only a view from the other side of the table so to speak.
>>28635326
>thicc
Does have to speak ebonics too?
>>28635640
>fairly regular "ideal" qualities
>super stressing the unwavering moral judgement, tough love aspect
Femanon if you want to smacked around just say so
>>28631555
>dark features
what's that ?
>>28635640
>tfw she advertises for you in a thread and you reply, but she's too busy bickering with shitposters and ignores you
>tfw sitting there watching her argue with a couple of faggots, you start to wonder if she is anything like the girl she described herself to be
>tfw four floors down, there are people laughing in the square
>tfw across the way, someone with his back to the office window stands up and shuts his computer off for the day
>rain starts pattering on the window
>1 World Trade turns a dull color three blocks away, reflecting the clouds
>Noises from food carts closing up, selling their last cups of 5pm coffee
>
>>28635716
She wants a nigger but is too ashamed to say it.
>>28635689
>Is a man who beats people truely a moral man?
>better yet, how would one get beaten by a moral person if they too were also moral?
>>28635759
>expecting/pretending that femanon is following any kind of ethics or logic, instead of just giftwrapping the fact that she likes getting punched out in bed
>pale. that's the most important.
>likes to watch scary movies and play vidya with me.
>no taller than 5'8.
>bonus if he has blue/green eyes and doesnt mind me wanting to spend time with him all the time.
>>28635840
>no taller than 5'8"
F-fucking manlets
>not needy in the slightest
>doesn't need to talk to me/spend time with me more than once a week for a couple of hours
>capable of not talking to me and doing his own thing even if we're in the same room
>not emotional
>not mentally healthy
>ambitious and successful
>has never been desperate for a girlfriend
>doesn't pay much attention to girls
>doesn't mind my unhealthy habits
>grooms himself well
>physically fit (or at least appears that way), but not too muscular
>knows how to dress, but doesn't spend too much time on his appearance
>doesn't like giving/receiving gifts or cards etc. on special occasions
basically the straight male version of me personality-wise
looks-wise, I like dark hair and facial hair
>>28633638
at least you're white, you could still find a chick shorter.
being brown, no matter how tall is pretty much a sentence for robot life
>>28635840
>tfw pale with green eyes
I know nothing is going to come of it but thanks for making me feel better.
>>28635951
i'm pretty short, manlets are the perfect height :<
>>28635840
>tfw pale, 5'7, and love horror movies/vidya/etc.
>hazel eyes and like clingy
So that's a thing. Name a couple scary movies you likeor a throwaway to say hey.
>>28635991
What's the point of this then, an on-tap romp when you fancy some bellend? Might as well just get a friend with bennies.
>>28636051
>tfw 4 ft. 10 and will never find a manlet who isn't a literal midgit
>tfw have never kissed a bf without standing on tips of toes
>tfw have to ask bf to reach the top shelf at the grocery store
>>28636074
What the fuck did you even just say you goddamn Brit
>>28636074
this is one of the most British things I've ever read. and no, I'm not really interested in sex nor non-exclusivity
>>28636051
It's fine I'm literally the least attractive human being on the planet so even if I was 5'4" you still wouldn't find me remotely attractive.
>>28636051
>>28636081
Short girls are qt af.
>>28629790
omg literally me
omg pls touch my pee pee
omg I'll make u my bb
just kidding lmao,
got you
I have a gf
hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
>>28636110
You realize a boyfriend is more than someone you talk to for an hour a week, no? I mean, why the fuck would ANYONE want you, much less your ideal?
>>28636062
What movies do you like anon?
I like to just watch anything that falls into the horror genre. But one that I recently watched that I liked was The Boy.But that was just creepy rather than scary :<
Any race
Any weight
Any height
Into psychedelics
Into hiking
Into ambient music
Into meditation
Quiet
Not attention seeking beta
No NEETs (I work so DON EBEN GO DARE
No social media
Sexually open
Musicians preferred
26/F/VT
>>28636160
maybe for some people that is what a boyfriend is, but my ideal would understand that I just don't like spending time interacting with other people. it's fine if we can be in the same room and both act like the other person doesn't exist, that sounds pretty cozy
>why would anyone want you
I never said that anyone would. I'm not very palatable
>much less your ideal
well, I mean, I want my ideal sooooo
>>28636081
You sound super qt :<
>Not you
Originali
>>28636209
>>28636113
Wasn't so qt when a cop had to ask me if I was 13 during a traffic stop because I was driving with a booster seat
>>28632489
>>28632544
Black women don't want blackbots.
Black women on 4chan would rather rim a neckbeard's asshole than talk to a blackbot for even 2 seconds
>>28635840
I-I'm 5'9" femanon, fit the rest.
>>28635991
>not mentally healthy
>doesn't pay much attention to girls
>physically fit (or at least appears that way), but not too muscular
>knows how to dress, but doesn't spend too much time on his appearance
>doesn't like giving/receiving gifts or cards etc. on special occasions
This is very much me
>>28636249
Holy fuck that's adorableand hilarious, sorry
>>28636265
But kittens anon, you've admitted several times that you're depressed and defective. Don't blame it on race.
>>28636275
>doesn't pay much attention to girls
>I-I'm 5'9" femanon, fit the rest.
try again
>>28636168
Last few I saw that were pretty up there were Grave Encounters 1 and 2, 7 Nights of Darkness, and I rewatched [REC]. Lake Mungo was surprisingly good too after I watched it.
I'll watch basically everything horror too, it's hard to find good ones these days but you gotta give it a shot ykno. How was The Boy? I was thinking about checking it out.
>>28636206
What I'm saying is why the fuck do you even want someone who you're just going to pretend doesn't exist? Is he just so you can brag about?
>>28635326
>black
>kv
Yes
>drinks
Sorry, I'm not a degenerate
>5'6
Nope, 6'3
>hairy
Only pubes. No facial, arm, or leg hair
>affectionate and silly
I love my cats more than anything but it'd take a lot for me to let me guard down around a woman. Probably a few years at least. Physical affectionate makes me nauseous
>will protect a shy sensitive 5'9'' nubian queen from this big scary world with his hugs and affirmation and playful teasing
If you lose the queen complex and treat me like an equal, then yeah.
If you're not a complete khhv, return yourself to the trashcan
>>28636350
no, but I interpreted the question as "if you were to have a boyfriend, then what would be your ideal?" so that's how I answered the question. I'm happy with or without
>>28636299
Lol that's not kittens anon.
There are like 3 of us.
I'm the one with 1 kitten.
There's another blackbot with 4 kittens.
And some white guy with 6 kittens.
I'm depressed because nothing good has happened in my life and I have no reason to wake up besides to give my baby the best life possible.
It is the fault of black women for always treating me like garbage and assaulting me throughout my youth.
>>28636386
You sound like you'd be happy with a real doll. Oh, wait, a doll can't bring in a six figure income. Stupid gold digging whore.
>>28636289
>be me
>19
>take 10 year old cousin to elementary school teacher meet and greet
>teacher comes up to me and asks whose class I'm in and if I'm lost
>>28629748
>caring about ancestry
>>28636425
I can't handle how adorable this is what are you doing to my heart.
>>28636249
>I was driving with a booster seat
Holy fuck
I lol'd
>>28636424
I don't intend on depending on someone else's income, I can do perfectly well all by myself
>>28636425
Christ almightyI'm so sorry famalam
