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I guess I felt it
2016-03-24 23:29:37 Post No. 27379296
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I guess I felt it
3.26797385621%
2016-03-24 23:29:37
Post No. 27379296
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>>27305166
>>27305176
Perhaps i'm just late in my development, but i'm only now able to see what could it possibly mean, in a personal sense, without any objective influence, what it means to have sex with someone, symbolically.
Something I didn't think i'd understand in my lifetime.
Being as broken as I am about thinking coitus a disgusting carnal activity.
I've naively considered myself inherently better because of my lack of interest in a world event I am a genuine "willing" non combatant of.
Up till now or possibly still do, I've considered it a base and redundant thing I never understood.
Ugly things doing ugly things with ugly others. Like a child's mind permanently locked into meatspin for visual and contextual reference.
It disgusts me.
which is pretty ironic considering what the fuck is wrong with me on so many other levels.
It's clicked to me recently with the help of that above that there is something that sex awards people that can't be attained through prostitution or rape, like so many like to offer in seriousness, desperation or jest.
Attaining a worth.
Not a worth made into an ultimatum or goal, one to dictate your life, or something to worship.
But worth not to anyone but themselves.
A worth of desirability that you somehow got proved you were worth.
This worth is inherent because maybe everyone in the world thinks sex is gross and off putting.
Every one thinks so but to find a person who you think is desirable enough to overlook that nature is the worth you find.
And I've been too much of an autist thinking about it from one side of the coin.
I'm still a KHHV, I feel like gone off food sometimes.
But others I get the idea I am not, that my window is ever changing should I want to look into it.
Don't put, ass/dick/or vagina on a pedestal, for anyone.
I forbade it.
