What are you currently lying to your parents about?
>>27258837
I'm a Christian
[Spoiler]fucking wackadee doo Im original too[/Spoiler]
>>27258837
THat i'm alright.
>>27258859
Aladeen?
>>27258837
When I dropped out of university. They think I just left when I've really been doing fuck all for over a year
>>27258837
i'm a straight male that is going to have kids with a straight girl
>>27258905
Are you from >>27258565 ?
>>27258837
I never told her I masturbate. I started at 12 y.o. and am now 19.
>>27258918
No I'm not. I just got here
>>27258939
>I never told her I masturbate.
She knows, chief.
I'm not getting any offers for jobs.
I am but nothing that interests me and I'm still finishing up my Master thesis, so that is buying me some time but after September I'll probably have to go with the safe bets.
>>27258943
How did you manage to keep it up?
>>27258837
>work at an assisted living home business that my mom owns
>work third shift
>supposed to give some of the patients wake up calls at 6am
>yesterday I forgot because too busy playing vidya on my shift
>remember an hour later and call them at 7
>shift ends an hour later and I go home
>half hour after getting home and getting ready to go to bed my mom bursts into my room and sternly tells me one of the patients didn't wake her up (she's on the verge of firing for unrelated but similar small mistakes)
>tell her I did (which technically wasn't a lie)
>she's immediately relieved and leaves me alone
>mfw don't get in trouble because that patient is a complete bitch who is known to be manipulative and lie about shit and treats all the employees like shit so nobody believes her/cares
Other than that, just typical shit about my grades at college.
>>27258974
They leave home well before I get up and get back fairly late. They were getting increasingly suspicious so I had to tell them I left. Don't want them to know how long I've been lying though
That I could get a girlfriend from work at any moment
I initially tried to tell her that the whole modern professional workplace culture has made everyone terrified of saying the wrong thing, let alone putting your hands on the wrong place. So I just say "Yeah there's this cute girl..."
There is this cute girl but I'm not going to risk my livelihood on her
I don't live with mommy so I don't have to lie about anything, I do whatever the fuck I want
Y'all is some bitch niggas
>>27259009
That won't fool her, she knows you a bitch
That I have friends. They would always asked me if I've met any new people whenever they saw me and my brother's wife always seemed so worried about me when asking so I just told them I did eventually. They seemed so proud of me and they asked what their names were like I hd just made a pal in preschool and I started making up names and telling them I can't come over to see them because I'm spending the weekend with friends when I'm really just too ashamed to see them.
>>27258837
Anything, I don't know. I grew up with a controlling father who never let me do anything, so lying became a natural reflex. I'll say anything as long as it makes things easier and gives me less to deal with.
As far as they know, I'm straight and happy to be male
>inb4 gtfo tranny
I don't want to be the opposite sex.
I wanna be both. :^)
>>27259053
I've been thinking lately I need to get in more situations where women can tell me to fuck off. I don't want to sleepwalk through life shielding myself from rejection and discomfort.
But I'm still not gonna do it in a way that risks my job. I've been unemployed, I know what's out there.
I'm a fucking stoner. I tell them everyday I hate potheads, and that I hate being mistaken for one. But I smoke nearly everyday late at night when they're asleep. I can't help it. I love getting railed every night by some delicious Master Kush.
They would probably just make fun of me and wouldn't think about it much since they were potheads at my age, but still. I hate weed culture, but I love getting high, and I want them to at least think they were somewhat successful parents projecting the image I hate alcohol and drugs.
>>27258837
that im not depressed and considering an hero
i dont wanna make them feel bad only because i feel like shit myself
my mom thinks i live a happy life
obviously i am not living a happy life
>>27258837
that I'm a muslim
that I will graduate this year
that I have many friends
Beyond these, nothing in particular worth mentioning.
>mommy thinks i'm an intelligent writer trying to get works published
>in reality i'm borderline retarded who doesn't even have Word on my computer
>>27258837
That I'm graduating this year.
I failed a couple of subjects in my first year so I need to take another semester next year.
Thats going to a barrel of laughs when I finally have to tell them at the end of the year.
>>27259009
My nigga, the same.
9/10 bretty gud OP
>>27258837
ITT underage retards
LEAVE MY /B/ FOREVER
>>27258837
>I'm so in love with her
I should receive an unfaithfulness award
>>27259257
>implying at least half of /r9k/ doesn't live with their parents
my parents still think I've never touched drugs or alcohol
>>27258939
>thinking she doesn't know
bless your heart.
about getting shit for university done. I'm almost done but I just like procrastinating and playing vidya and fapping while my dad pays everything because FUCK being a normie and fuck getting a job so fucking soon. I'll be wageslaving soon enough anyways.
>>27258837
I desperately want to legally change my name. All of my roommates call me by my new name, my psychologist, my few friends... it's not official yet but it will be soon. I've never mentioned it to my family, they have no idea how much I hate being called the name they gave me.
I'm also lying through my teeth every time I talk to my mother and father about the amount of respect or love that I hold towards them. I fucking hate them so intensely it's hard to put it into words, but when they call me I act civil and put on my best act that I am pleased that they wanted to speak to me.
I blame them for my brother's death, completely hold them responsible, and it deeply bothers me that my mother brings him up every single fucking time we speak to one another. Yet I make no mention of it, and if the subject is brought up I just go along with whatever they're saying.
All of the spiritual and religious bullshit my mother buys into. She's a gullible fucking fool and will believe practically anything, and I humor her if she talks about any of it.
That I do anything social at all in my spare time, or that I do anything at all anymore other than play video games, watch cartoons/movies/anime and read. They think I have a rich social life with lots of friends, when in reality I talk to one or two people on skype a couple times a month- and even then I'm starting to resent the obligation.
There used to be a lot more than that, but a couple years ago I snapped at them and went on about all sorts of shit I had been hiding over the years. It's a lot easier to keep shit from them now that I've living on the other side of the country. Pic related, how it feels
That I have an A in all my courses at university and that I'm on my way to going to law school.
not right now, but drugs
i got really drunk and destroyed a bar last week, I feel awful about it and lied to my parents telling them i slept at a friends that night when really i spent the night in a jail cell, they found out ive been lying yesterday and now i have to confront them about it tomorrow
>>27258939
All parents know you fagola
>>27261328
You're right to be mad.
But people cope differently.
Your mom might be a religious nut but that might be the only way she's gotten over it.
At least she's not a barely functioning alcoholic who blames everything on their children.
>>27261710
She used to be a pill-popping alcoholic, since he died she quit using substances but she still does nothing but laze around the house and go to support groups to talk about how much she misses her son. It's almost like she has an excuse now to be a worthless piece of shit. Religion is a vehicle for her attention-seeking, I don't think she's gotten over it at all, she's just found another way to find people to tolerate her.
I know that sounds extremely harsh, but if you knew her you would understand.
>>27258837
That I'll voluntarily help with cleaning the house.
that I'm going to finish school this time (it's not gonna happen)
that I found a subject I want to study (impossible)
that I meet my friend every weekend (haven't seen or talked in 3+ years)
that I'm seeking a relationship (I'm not)
that I got over my depression (lmao)
that I still see the therapist (I saw her for two weeks)
that I've asked for more hours at work (why would I do that)
that I care about my mom's dog stuff (I love the dogs but I don't care about all the dog breeding community infighting and shit)
that I don't remember anything wrong in the family life during grades 7-9 (yes I do, I know my mom was a drug addict)
that I have hope and plans
>>27258837
not lying per se but ive never told them im gay
>failing classes
>gay
>loadsa drugs
The worst part is everything else is going great, so I can hide the failure and the drugs quite easily.
