Feels, cringe, gaffs and laughs all welcome.
>like girl
>girl likes me
>used to be BFs
>year later
>get social anxiety
>always get nervous when I see her and look away
>she notices and thinks I hate her now
>she keeps trying to talk to me on Facebook by tagging me in old posts she made with me ages ago
>play along but clearly I appear disinterested
>she finally man's up and messages me about the old times
>stay up to 12 reminiscing
>next day at school
>she stares at me more than usual at nearly every moment hoping for me to talk to her as if we're all normal again
>too embarrassed to acknowledge her
>feel bad for just leaving her there hoping for me when I physically can't do anyhthing to reach out
WHY AM I SUCH A COWARD
I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT
I JUST WANT TO BE WITH HER AND I KNOW SHE DOES AS WELL
WHY CAN'T I TALK TO HER
OP this sounds like a non-problem. Especially if she is giving you signals of wanting to connect with you too. Get the fuck off /r9k/ and give her the dick, it's the only way.
>>27225385
Yes but I physically can't approach. Ice literally being trying for a year now. I don't know what's wrong. I see her and I immediately seize up and have to look away angrily
>>27225440
Well the good news seems to be that you have an ally. And if you get this way around her, send her a message about how you feel, and how it makes you nervous when you're close. She will make the first move if she knows you're interested but too scared. It really doesn't seem like a problem, if you're sure she's into you too. She just has to do the first contact, and it sounds like she would want to.
If you can be brave at a distance, that's the way to go.
>tfw do not know what to do online anymore
>do not know how to make friends
autism + depression ruined my life.
i used to good at this thing and now all i do is visit imageboards.
autism - imagination.
like i have gmod/2nd life and minecraft but idk what to do on them.
am on the googles but what do i search?
am hungry but what do i eat and will i feel like eating it when i do or will i waste a big meal because eyes bigger than stomach?
also a nihilist so there is that.
>>27225440
draw her a picture and give it to her?
>>27225518
My main insecurity is that she won't find me attractive due to how unconfident and pathetic I now am. Like I said it's been a year since normal relations and back then I was pretty confident and charming. Now I'm quite and constantly worried.
>daily feels hit earlier than usually
>it's not my bedtime yet
>tfw have to bear with these feels for couple of hours before I can go to sleep
>tfw my little brother is becoming a bigger failure than I ever could have
>childhood dream was to be a zoologist
>obsession with science all my childhood
>high school occurs and I stop giving a fuck
>become liberal arts aficionado
>finally beginning revising for exams in my final years
>trapped doing shitty degrees like Politics and English cause I fucked up my science exams
>probs gonna end up doing law for the rest of my life
>never fulfil my dream of working with animals
>thinking of killing myself sometime in the next month
You should tell her how you honestly and that its making you anxious, have a drink or two while your at it.
>>27225607
I share this feel. But reading your post made me realize how autistic fellow nihilists type
>tfw thinking about getting a second job just so I can work with a girl I have a crush on who in a likelihood doesn't give a shit about me
>>27225440
Just give her a letter, that way you can go over what you're trying to say and find ways to better it. Also you don't have to deal with talking to her face to face. And if you have good handwriting a letter makes girls wet.
>>27225306
Fuck you, you shithead. So many men would kill to have the same opportunity you have and you're just wasting it? You really are a worthless beta male.
>>27225792
i tried having fun once but http://vocaroo.com/i/s1NbqHDtnJ4G
>>27225708
If you two were BFs she's probably someone you can trust. She's clearly sad that you distanced yourself from her, but she doesn't hate you. Be honest to her, tell her about your anxiety. She may understand. If she does, she can help you get through this and get better.
>>27225841
Thanks lad. Your a good guy.
>>27225828
You on the other hand, not so much.
>>27225809
Is that not cringey. I mean, I could do it, my English teacher is always going on about how gorgeous my handwriting is but would a girl not think this weird? I'd be scared she would show it to her friends like "holy fuck, check this autist out."
>join robot discord room last night
>girls can't be robots obviously, I don't claim to be anything but living on easymode, but it's nice to have voices in my apartment for once
>unable to follow social cues and know when somebody is addressing me
>try to be as nice as possible
>really admire a lot of the people in the room, a lot of them are funny
>think things are going well, feel happy
>start noticing that insults are addressed at me, tell them I'm sorry
>somebody in the chat says "they don't like you"
>feel very bad for annoying them without realizing
>feel very stupid
>feel bad for showing up in the first place
>mute my mic because my eyes start tearing up against my control
>feel like a huge fag for tearing up over strangers on the internet
>spending St Patricks day alone, my apartment is right near all of the bars so the streets are flooded with drunk stacies and chads tonight
I know that the men have it way worse but I still feel like shit.
Also,
>>27225306
There's absolutely no reason for you not to talk to her. Social anxiety is a mother fucker, but if you were able to feel comfortable reminiscing on Facebook with her maybe you'd be able to explain how you're feeling to her online as well?
She obviously wants to connect with you and you obviously want to connect with her, so messaging her and explaining your actions might be a good solution. Best of luck, anon. I'm rooting for you.
>>27225763
Don't beat yourself up, first of all. It's normal for people to pursue the wrong career for them or to change their career paths later in life.
It isn't reasonable to be hard on yourself for not knowing what you truly wanted when you were just a teenager.
You DO have options, anon. The science credits that you did poorly on can be re-taken, not at an actual high school but through online courses and alternative education schools that allow you fill out booklets and turn them in.
Doing only science will take you maybe a few months tops if you're very motivated to cut through the work, and you'll be able to move forward with the animal-focused courses that you need.
Obviously that's a lot of schooling to be staring toward but it's worth it if it's what you need in order to be truly happy. If it's your passion, you'll even enjoy the courses themselves on your way there.
I hope you start feeling better. I believe in you.
>>27225306
you'll just have to admitted your feelings to her, OP.
I hate being in this situation, but its the only action that would potentially result to success.go get her champ
>>27225748
This is me as well. It kills me to see what he is.
>Getting a little worried about the future
>Realise every day that I have no future
>Mental health state means I'll never work
>Suicidal thoughts a daily thing
>Too push to go through with it
>Wish I could get the balls to do so.
>>27226456
whats the discord server?
>That feeling when you trip over an ant and everyone laughs
fucking ants
>>27226456
try >>27227251 it's more friendly and less misogynistic hivemind
>get a good first job to escape NEETdom
>becoming more outgoing
>shaving
>doing my hair
>getting less pale
>picking up more hobbies
>meet cute girl at work
>go on 2 dates
>she doesnt want to see me anymore
>it all comes tumbling down
>dont stop looking at the floor whenever she walks by
>go back to posting on here instead of the hobbies I started
Well, it was nice being normal for 3 months. Im back now though
>>27227248
Don't punish yourself for not being able to do the things that aren't in your reach yet, and focus on the baby steps that you need to do to get to where you need to be.
Not having a job isn't something that's in your control right now, but taking care of yourself and trying to improve can be in your control.
Tonight you should try to clean your bedroom, and then maybe take a nice shower.. scrub yourself down completely and shave. Have a good soak.
Eat some cookies or apple slices with an ice cold glass of water. Wrap yourself in your comfiest blanket.
These things are superficial but they will improve your state of mind and allow you to have a clearer perspective. Caring for yourself won't make your problems disappear but you WILL feel like a weight has been lifted.
You'll feel better. You deserve to feel good, I promise.
>>27227255
I wouldn't post it back on 4chan on them, that's sort of mean.
It was just titled "Robot Chat". I've disconnected from it though.
>>27227269
Thank you, anon.
OP get the FUCK of /r9k/ RIGHT NOW, you still have a chance, talk to her like you would talk to her online, tell her you are super nervous around her. say you would love to spend more time with you. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU STILL CAN DO THIS
>>27227391
You did so good though!
You were fucking living it, AND you got a date.
Rejection will knock anybody down, but that's all a part of dating. It completely sucks, but don't let such a small bump in the road completely dismantle your chance at being proud of your life.
>Never drink alcohol because I associate it with clubs, shitty music, and sluts
>turn 21, don't drink on my birthday because fuck that.
>New years eve that year, drink for the first time, get drunk for the first time, enjoy it because I was with friends.
>realize alcohol makes things more fun
>drink while watching funny tv shows.
>don't drink too much, just want the buzz
>fast forward three years
>full blown alcohol addiction, there hasn't been a night of 2016 where I haven't been drunk
>heading out to an island next week to do some research, can't bring alcohol, finally first night this year I won't be drunk.
>no one knows.
>>27227437
https://discord.gg/0tTP68lFXHFSFExF
join this one anyone else in thread can join too
>>27227518
>>27227518
try to cut down on it slowly before you go. you can quit my man don't give up
You are literally a faggot.
>in class at uni
>a qt girl I've had classes with before enters the room
>she sits next to me
>fuck
>oh hey anon I didn't know you were here
>h-hey
>she remembered my name but I forgot hers
Does she want the dick? I don't know how women work
>>27227712
Well, that's the odd thing. I've been on trips and stuff where alcohol in inaccessible. If I'm away from it like that, I can get through the night just fine. No withdrawal effects whatsoever. I guess because my brain knows there's literally nothing I can do. It's just when I'm home, and have some or easy access to buy more, I can't fucking stop myself. I can't trick my brain into thinking I don't need any.
>move away from my friends last year to a new city
>miss them a lot, we had tons of great times
>have a really hard time adjusting to new city, still haven't made any real friends
>insecure because I know that I am once again back to utterly wasting the best years of my life
>accidentally let it slip to them during my most previous visit that my friend situation in the city isn't so hot
>fast forward to tonight where I get into a text argument with my best friend of the group over something that wasn't really important
>he has always been a bit narcissistic, usually gets verbally heated when challenged in anyway
>(is the kind of guy whose life revolves around social shit)
>try to ease the situation with some playful jabs
>he suddenly brings up the fact that I am friendless
>uses it as an insult towards me
>promptly stop replying to him
>feel utterly betrayed
It's shit like this that makes me reevaluate my whole situation in my life. For the past 8 months or so I haven't been able to stop thinking of my friends and when I'll be able to visit them next and whatnot. This makes me feel like it's a lost cause and I should just fucking move on.
>need to take a shit
>on the computer
>so absorbed into shitposting that I literally shit myself
>turning 21 in a few days
who else still shits themselves here?
>>27229437
I did it during a particularly intense round of StarCraft. You just can't get up and leave during that.
>>27225306
>Went to hang out with friends
>A few of them were talking about some of the relationships of their friends
>Somehow landed on the girl I had a crush on in high school
>One of them turns to me and in proclaims to everyone that the girl I had a crush on fucked one of their friends in a relationship and calls me a cuck
>Not sure how to respond so my mouth is agape for a second before letting out a chuckle and say I'm not into her anymore
>Deep inside I believed we could be something after college
>>27229970
That is fucking rough anon. I'm sorry to hear that.
I've quite often been in situations where my friends said shit that really bothered me, but didn't know any better because none of them knew how sensitive I was. It's a dilemma because you don't want to be that weak and emotional guy but you don't want to feel betrayed by your own friends either.
>>27225721
Sleep early, friend
