What's the shittiest excuse you've come up with to get out of killing yourself?
I'll start
>my cat would starve to death before anyone noticed and came to check on me, and I don't want my kitty to die
>>24438748
That's a good excuse. Poor kitty.
>that I wouldn't get my to see my math test grade
it was a C-
>>24438748
That's not a shitty excuse.Depending on how long it would take you to be found.
i wouldn't be able to shitpost anymore
>>24438146
>this show I like is showing a new episode tomorrow
>i can't get drunk anymore
[I'd ask you to help me, but I don't care any more. Gimme the booze[/spoiler]
>>24438748
twin peaks season 3
> it's too cold out.
hard to be comfy and an hero at the same time. good thing I finally did it.
i'll miss the mets winning the 2015 world series
:(
>>24438776
>>24438792
That's comforting I suppose. It would definitely be at least a few days. It sucks that pic related will never know her owner is a failure
>>24438825
The show should have ended halfway through season 2 desu senpai. I'm more excited about new x files
>>24438888
>I'm more excited about new x files
It's gonna be shiiiit.
Kill yourself before you're disappointed.
Quick!
I should go see my Jewish friend before I do it.
>>24438888
I like her nose. A well fed cat won't starve to death in a few days, I'd imagine it would take upwards of two weeks at least.
>>24438935
What am I not getting here? What does him being Jewish have to do with him being the friend you see before you kill yourself?
>>24438935
>friend
parasites aren't your friends, m8
>>24439019
He's the only person who I know in town who offered to hang out with me that I would want to talk to.
>>24438909
I have faith. As long as david duchovny is in it, it can't be that bad. That man can do no wrong.
>>24439077
The last seasons of X-files says othewise
People close to me would be upset
>>24438748
I want GRRM to publish the last two asoiaf books
>>24439071
Oh, alright. I thought it was some vague antisemitic joke.
>Things might get better
>>24438748
Pretty sure I saw this on Reddit a couple weeks ago
>>24439271
saw what? The picture or the topic?
I saved that picture sometime last year.
>>24439178
it was please
How am I supposed to shitpost about KyoAni's battleharem if I'm dead?
I honestly used to believe and still kinda do that I am destined for greatness
I have no idea why I believe this, but I'm interested in seeing if it will turn out to be true
this to be qh family
>>24439425
It won't
Source: 99% of the human population thinks that too
If I'm not alive I won't be able to see my husbando ever again.
>>24439472
You're right man but so far things are really going well for me, so its like I can't quit now even though im depressed, slightly autistic, and have no gf
I keep delaying suicide for vidya.
>>24439443
seconded desu
>the sky is blue today
>be me
>age 13
>Listening to Linkin Park "its easier to run"
>have written my will and a note
>gonna hang myself in my closet
>have the rope set up and am standing on a block I can jump off of
>decide that I don't want to ruin Linkin Park's reputation, and that they dont deserve having my blood on their hands, even remotely
>don't kill myself
I'll kill myself slowly with delicious foods, drugs, and media instead
the 1% chance hell is real
>>24438748
cat will eat your corpse
>trying to decide suicide method
>x method is too painful
>y leaves too big a mess for the medics and cops
>z has too low of a success rate
>a method is too expensive
>b would just draw too much attention and Id probably puss out
>c takes too long and roommate might find me too soon
>d seems good, but no you'd just fuck it up and end up brain dead
I always find a reason why a certain method sucks. I can't tell if it's a defense mechanism or If I'm just being thorough.
i have yet to see an anime better than evangelion. how can i die knowing there might be something better than nge?
>>24439682
Have you watched literally any other anime?
>>24439372
So then what was the joke?
>>24439682
what kind of anime do you like? What kind of feels are you hungry for?
>>24439682
Thinking NGE is the best anime ever is a pretty good argument for suicide though
>>24440024
I'll just go out on a limb and say maybe he likes science fiction, mecha anime with a lot of pseudo-philosophical bullshit thrown in.
>>24439682
You should try Code Geass for starters. It's kind of kiddy, but it's a mecha series with good animation.
>>24439682
>evangelion
>good
Have you watched literally anything else?
>My life will probably get better next year!
I've been telling myself that for about 6 years now.It doesn't get better
>>24440024
>Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu
>Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai
>Code Geass
are some of my favorite.
I've seen;
>Serial Experiments Lain
>Ergo Proxy
>Another
they were all good, but don't come close to Evangelion for me.
>>24440176
Im honestly so thankful I didn't kill myself, man. Even if I'm alone, I still can see beautiful art, eat delicious foods I haven't tried before, watch anime and read books that I havent before. I can hear new music, and save up and go to places I haven't seen before. There is so much worth living for, even if I have no one to share any of it with in any genuine sense.
Sometimes, when I am especially low, if I look outside and the sun is shining, somehow, I make that be enough.
>>24440838
Try Darker than Black, Psycho-Pass, Steins; Gate, and Paranoia Agent.
>>24440838
good taste, my man.
You might like Monogatari for more of that slightly creepy melancholy. Start around Bakemonogatari
If you want more of that "Cat and Mouse battle of wits" stuff, check out "Zankyou no Terror" An anime banned in China and briefly in the US.
Because you like Haruhi and that sort of deep thing, have you checked out Mirai Nikki? It's pretty good, you might like it too.
I can't garantee any of these are better than NGE, but you might like them.
do you like reading manga? If you want a hit of that pure stuff, try reading one of these:
>Oyasumi Punnpunn
>Onani Master Kurosawa
Both of these are better than NGE as far as manga go.
But my favorite anime, personally, is Welcome to the NHK.
>>24440876
This guy has good taste
Karisu is ultimate waifu tier
I want to watch more tv
I only am going to live once. No one will know I am doing it at their expense because they would make themselves feel bad if I died if they didn't already.
I can't communicate. I don't even want to anymore. You won't even get this and I am being obscure as hell. You don't give a shit, all I want is for you to admit it.
>>24438825
This right here. Lynch and Frost are 100% devoted, I can't see it being shitty. As for OP, your cat would feed on your corpse dumdum
haven't played those visual novels i wanted to play yet
especially the old KEY ones
>>24438748
Have you considered taking the kitty to the pound before you top yourself, faggot?
BTW, you do realise that most cats will eat their dead owners remains to survive, right?
>>24441001
anime pro checking in
>monogatari
yes, that's good. you'll either love or hate the seasons after bake though.
>zankyou no terror
awful, awful anime. went straight into the ground in the last episodes.
>mirari nikki
please pick any other battle shonen, fuck. unless you're a mexican weeaboo you'll find it quite shit. though i like yandere, it has been done better. i would recommend higurashi. NOT the anime, play the game, you can even torrent if you can't spare five bucks.
last three recommendations are pretty good.
>>24441582
I liked Zankyou, but I understand your reservations.
I only suggested Future Diaries because of the specific combinations of likes. What Yandere series would you recommend?
It'd be too expensive on my parents. They're already hugely in debt and can't move out of this shit town. Having to afford to bury their son is an enormous burden I'd like to help them avoid.
I'd never get to listen to another album by my favorite band if I died too early.
