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- Reading: /brit/
Runt edition
>>61468838
seems painful
Early edition
got a huge plug in my arse
Absolutely SCREECHING at how everyone is so used to Islamic bombings now
>>61468866
pics x
>>61468838
Might stop envisioning runts as modukens and make them anthropomorphised pugs
need a yank gf from the deep south
need her to take me to america and hide me away in her south carolina swamp house
need her to abuse me sexually and eventually kill me when i can no longer satisfy her
>March 18th 2016: The Turkish government and EU reached a deal where all migrants who attempt to enter Europe via the Aegean Sea will be sent back to Turkey and accepted. In exchange, they were promised a fast track to join the EU and a conditional promise of visa free travel for its citizens to Europe by the end of June 2016.
>June 23rd 2016: The United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union.
>June 29th 2016: An Islamic terrorist attack in Istanbul, Turkey claims the lives of 36, injures many more.
>Turkey offers to take in Europe's migrants in exchange for membership of the EU and access to visa free travel for Turkish citizens.
>The migrants are sent back to Turkey where they are settled and become Turkish citizens, which then entitles them to visa free travel in Europe because of their new citizenship.
>The end result is that Europe is still flooded by migrants, only this time none of them can be deported because they are now officially EU citizens.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2xM2ax5y10
why can't people wait till 310?
is it really that fucking hard?
>>61468838
is this what a bremainer looks like
haven't done a poo in three (3) days
have any of you gazed into your lovers eyes as the world fades away, and you realise you're no longer two people but one soul united?
>>61468941
haha do it into my mouth ;)
>>61468921
Apparently
depressed because no girl wants my willy inside her
>>61468919
the fuck
>>61468948
in a perfect society, people who write these articles would be taken out back and shot in the tip of the cock and left to bleed out
>>61468948
To them we're just common scum, well might as wel shit it all up then while we're at it.
>>61468957
No hahahahahahaha ;_;
why the fuck has australia been rangebanned from posting threads again? what did we do this time?
hahahahaha
gg europe
[Enter stage: Jew]
Hello goy- I mean, friends
Would you like a new Mercedes-Benz
Just sign this line-
And this car will be yours!
[Change tempo]
But your life will be mine!
[Enter stage: Trump]
Not so fast
I knew you would have lied
and so - you're fired!
[Trump fires a musket at him]
[American flag drapes down]
Now I have one thing say
Never trust a jew
Or this, might happen to you!
>>61469000
You shat up the catalog with easter threads again yesterday, pretty sure your range ban only expired yesterday as well lmao
Fucking mongs I swear
>>61468948
jezza was right
>runt edition
Passe peeshwanks hahaha PUT A CUNJA ON THEM hahaha goddem bag daer, fuckin pomee!
>>61469000
easter?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PYfUvW_3C3U
me
brexit is impossible
the cabinet office will soon realise that negotiations will take 7 years minimum
boris doesn't want to ACTIVATE and definitely won't have the balls to do it if GDP is still sliding in November and companies are leaving the UK.
a second ref will be called on some technicality and we'll stay in the EU
>>61469009
>UKIP Express on reassurance mode
>>61469036
give the runts a bit of freedom and they'll go mental. need to be caged for good desu
>>61468916
gave me a laff
>>61469055
i hope you're right
>>61469055
Juncker wants the next PM to activate it the day after election if he's a brexiteer or in 2 weeks otherwise
>>61469085
HAHA peeshwanks goddem zeerah, little fuckin moochons
LADS THEY'RE DOING IT AGAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE
>>>/int/brit
>>61469055
enjoy your civil war then rofl
>>61469168
>old thread at 309
janny's going to absolutely lose it this time
>>61469168
I meant >>>/int/easter haha, too used to typing brit what am I like
someone cyber bully me so i can try out my new comeback
>>61469009
>it has emerged today
>today
Anyone who bothered to look into the EU already knew this years ago
>>61469054
Australian poster should have seen this think he's gone to bed though
>>61469224
fuck you
>>61469168
>>61469203
>posting that many threads that fast
Always wondered how they do this
>>61469194
support for brexit will evaporate if this continues
people have already forgotten why they voted leave
>>61468919
of course its german
>>61469224
newsflash
youre a fuckin nerd
>>61469224
*slaps you in the nuts*
>>61469259
>set router right next to you
>post thread, reset router, post thread, etc.
reminder that 51.9% is "not overwhelming" - boris
>>61469290
resetting the router takes like 3 minutes
>>61469261
>why did I vote lea- oh yeah! The pakis
>>61469259
Switch aeroplane mode on and off
>tfw find girls of all races attractive, definitely have a bit of jungle fever, would love to have a black gf one day
>tfw I judge and have a lower opinion of white girls who find black men attractive or would consider sleeping with them
what does this make me?
The problem arises with migration from Arab/ African countries. I'm not saying they're all bad but the statistics show that the majority of these sexual assaults/ rapes have been committed by migrants of Arabic origin. Just like terror attacks. That is why tighter border controls are needed until the Syrian crisis is sorted out. No one can verify who is who. No one knows how many unrecorded migrants are within Europe. ISIS explicitly stated that they would use migrant channels to get into Europe....and they have.
>>61469314
depends on the model of router kek they don't just make one type of router
>>61469335
mindfucked by /pol/
Keep them flying
>>61469335
Insecure
>>61469335
I'm the same haha
Although dunno about gfing a black, but would definitely fuck one
>>61469342
>I'm not saying they're all bad but I will most certainly imply it
i have never had sex
>need to pee
>decide to have a cheeky wank first
>piss afterwards was glorious
recommend
>>61469335
did she foundation her neck?
i have never been kissed
>>61469393
>implying my implication is wrong
>>61469419
wew that's haram innit habeeb? best stone her yeah
So two girls in a shower is hot but two men is gay? Sexism much?
>>61469247
>>61469269
>>61469277
you hungry?
>>61469434
he's going straight for the throat
>>61469434
How is he wrong?
>>61469435
had every area on my entire body kissed
>>61469401
>ugg boots
Australia is on it's way towards a cultural victory
>>61469335
It's only natural to find it a bit repulsive to think about other men having sex with the girl you like. It doesn't help if those men are less like you.
>>61469408
>>61469435
I have done both these things
>>61469417
Best way to clean the pipes
wee POF browse
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=121733548
anyone give me tips on opening my third eye? (srs)
>>61469247
>>61469269
>>61469277
well how about a knuckle sandwich!
rate my tattoo
yo whitey giz me some reparations or i loot yo storez
>>61469492
*administers 2 grams of dmt*
>>61469490
>personality: traveler
She will bleed you dry mate
t. gf is a traveler
>>61469529
You only need like 50mg lmao
>>61469465
THICCC
Hi, I'm Sam... A.K.A Samsung, Samwise, Sammy Dodger... (just a few of my nicknames!). I'm 5'3 with blonde hair and green eyes. I love shopping (What woman doesn't?!). My favourite bands include Kasabian, the Arctic Monkeys, the Stone Roses and Oasis. I absolutely hate boring people (boring people are weird!). Spiders, daddy long legs, moths and clowns terrify me! I have about 5 blonde moments a day... don't know if I should be admitting that?! That's all for now :-)
Hmmm... really makes you think.
>>61469468
Leave the EU means less European immigrants
>>61469515
absolute madman
>>61469490
me and the orbiter
>>61469529
>>61469534
oooohhhh fuuuuuuuuuck
>>61469538
Hmmm... really makes you die.
do you think Ribena has been one of the racists beating up Poles in the past few days?
>>61469534
Pussy
>>61469538
just a bit disgusting really
>>61469492
go vegan
quit wanking
fast occasionally
limit your tv watching
stop paying attention to current affairs
meditate
Even with oil prices as they are, Scotland would genuinely be better off independent and in the EU then in the UK and not in the EU desu lads.
*it's about 45 minutes into coffee with a confidant*
*we're seated on a pair of seats overlooking the Meuse*
*our coffees are finished and there are cigarette butts in the platter of cheese we ordered*
confidant: why do we do it?
*i look out at the river. the reflections on the riverbed glisten and dance*
me: we do it because we have to, old friend. because if not us then who? who's to say this 'who' will be greeted any fairer than us? who's to say they will put in the effort we put in? who's to say they won't churn out some boorish trite and call it a day? no. we musn't have that. no, no i say, we cannot have that.
*the bodies begin to float down the rivulet*
me: we ... we are doing what needs to be done.
confidant: for the greater good?
me: for the greater good.
*we order another round of cappuccinos*
>>61469570
The scrawniest pole could snap him in half with a look
>>61469067
>the eu could literally impose detrimental legislations that infringe the laws of my country but because i'm too stupid and oblivious to what's going on around me i'll never understand
I fucking love the EU me
>>61469534
2 grams would be like a field filled with dmt crystals lol
Love Irish accents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2YkbO2IaWY
just had a lovely steak
>>61469597
any sugar, champ?
>>61469587
already done all of these
>>61469597
You don't much credit for these posts but I must say I'm a big admirer
>>61469588
>then
ah yes, another worthwhile opinion, I'll file it with the others
*takes your opinion and puts it behind my desk*
*a loud whirring noise, not unlike a paper shredding comes out*
*I lace my fingers and continue smiling at you*
>>61469572
>>61469611
Good luck smoking that much
Your motor skills are gone after a hit
Are Nige
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DfKTH57uyD
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DfKTH57uyD
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DfKTH57uyD
>>61469462
why did this make me laugh
>>61469664
you'd have brain damage for the rest of your life
What is she trying to convey here?
>>61469640
*looks towards you with utter disdain*
*shoots you with a luger*
*i hold it up to the confidant*
me: it's a finer piece of technology, isn't it? something we should strive towards.
*looks at the dead waiters body*
me: sometimes i even detest them. but they must learn. they must pick up their legs so that one day they may run, as one day we will not be here, and they must weather the storm.
>>61469687
bet her arsehole stinks
Wanting to do some exercise lads
What's cheap and fat burning?
It's raining out.
>>61469724
run up and down the stairs, nice and dynamic
if you're a tubby then download the insanity workout DVD to help you get started
>>61469724
Lift heavy things up and down
I'm on the dunny and this spicy shit just burnt my arsehole cobbers
>>61469724
fire
gets a bit smokey though
>>61469724
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeBciqe89tE
Ah yes
Makes you think
Still in bed haha what am I like at all lads?
First they tell ya "Motherfucker, trap or die", that me OK
Mister whip or not and get a half a pie, that me OK
Mister if I'm talkin' you should listen, game is free OK
Mister got two whole ones and two half ones, yeah that's three OK
Leave up out of here with two bad ones, yeah, that's me OK
Mister re-in' up with 'bout two phantoms, yeah, that's me OK
On that Avion to the head, hey, but me OK
Never put a bitch before my bread, hey, now me OK
bap bap bap bap bap
im bump that rn lmfao
>>61469724
Go bash sum foken cunts 'ed in and then run from the cops
>>61469724
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeBciqe89tE
>>61469724
this workout routine is amazing, will do your body wonders
>>61469774
What does it make you think about?
>>61469724
> What's cheap and fat burning?
Eating less.
>>61469774
the concept of trade and adoption of ideas really makes you think
>>61469774
don't drink coffee
my tea's from Yorkshire
rarely eat Italian
irrelevant now
bollocks
>>61469828
Already doing that though la
>>61469819
just kangz stuff you know
>mate wont listen to the music that goes hand in hand with my action posts
if his pineal gland was anymore calcified it would be milk
>>61469434
This picture perfectly surmises the state of Britain. The 'educated' man with glasses, with a 2:2 degree in Journalism thinks he is morally superior. You can tell he is sanctimonious and gleefully delighted that he's capturing this. As soon as the camera is off I bet he says to the camerman: "Did you get that?" The man on the right makes a legitimate concern/ point. 10/ 20 years ago the majority of people in this country would agree with his sentiment however now we have to deal with a media narrative that now believes the people are top stupid to question anything they are seeing. On a fundamental level the approach is quite, perhaps Orwellian or even Nazi esque. Portraying the 'enemy' as thick or stupid by asking simple questions which goes against the narrative. The 'journalist' doesn't really have to do anything because his stance has already been pre planned or backed up by constant bombardment of his narrative through the media company he represents. We now all see the man on the right as thick however, deep down, on a sub conscious level we know he is right but the media narrative is ingrained into us so we don't question it. We are bombarded with signals from the media and social networks that if we question, we are punished. Not only by the authorities but by our peers. This is complete mind control. Dominance on the subliminal which manifests itself onto the physical. It's no wonder why so many news corporations can be seen as pro Islam when they both use the same techniques. They are subverting and technically dividing us.
>>61469597
quite an imagination you have my man
>>61469841
I see, does that make you upset?
>>61469774
My Coffee's from South America, my tea's from India, my food's from FUCKING BLIGHTY and so is my parliament.
The idea of science from Africa is laughable
Fuck the EU
>>61469774
>democrocy is greek
How did we establish democracy without importing millions of Greeks?
Are we magicians?
fanny is oozing with cottage cheese
>>61469774
Wait, isn't this an argument against the EU and in favour of worldwide FTAs?
>>61469724
do some body-weight workouts like planking and shit
the seven-minute workout is alright
>>61469588
Glad you supported that opinion with evidence
>>61469859
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ0UA2EwjJU
what do gay horses eat
>>61469851
i just rolled up in this bitch homie
you'd know that if you actually had a decalcified all seeing eye wouldn't you fr*cking fraudster.
>>61469861
horny more than anything
i love how /balt/ is the sidehoe to aussies but at the end of the day they all come crawling back to /brit/ ;)
>>61469911
male horse dick
Hi
the bird from the vice doco is cute desu
>>61469911
straw
>>61469840
genuine recommendation
do this in the morning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeBciqe89tE
>>61469930
howzit
>>61469911
My dick lol nah not really though I think they eat the same as other horses
>>61469942
imagine being cute
>>61469930
yeah alri
>>61469833
Yorkshire tea isn't from Yorkshire you dull munter.
Bought myself a hair dryer and brush and might put a slight bit of effort into making it not look like I just got out the shower haha
might do a cheeky suicide
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
"Man up u fkin batty boi"
>>61469859
*sniff*
>>61469958
>fronk
pls
Have you been drinkin, son? You don't look old enough to me
>This picture perfectly surmises the state of Britain. The 'educated' man with glasses, with a 2:2 degree in Journalism thinks he is morally superior. You can tell he is sanctimonious and gleefully delighted that he's capturing this. As soon as the camera is off I bet he says to the camerman: "Did you get that?" The man on the right makes a legitimate concern/ point. 10/ 20 years ago the majority of people in this country would agree with his sentiment however now we have to deal with a media narrative that now believes the people are top stupid to question anything they are seeing. On a fundamental level the approach is quite, perhaps Orwellian or even Nazi esque. Portraying the 'enemy' as thick or stupid by asking simple questions which goes against the narrative. The 'journalist' doesn't really have to do anything because his stance has already been pre planned or backed up by constant bombardment of his narrative through the media company he represents. We now all see the man on the right as thick however, deep down, on a sub conscious level we know he is right but the media narrative is ingrained into us so we don't question it. We are bombarded with signals from the media and social networks that if we question, we are punished. Not only by the authorities but by our peers. This is complete mind control. Dominance on the subliminal which manifests itself onto the physical. It's no wonder why so many news corporations can be seen as pro Islam when they both use the same techniques. They are subverting and technically dividing us.
> when you waste a couple minutes of your life trying to make sense of zizek
could've spent that time orchestrating a good post for the lads 2bqh
the EU leaders laughing and booing at nigel is really saddening; that they'd potentially allow their personal grievances to negatively affect millions of hard working people
lol I'm probably not a racist but I am scared that I might be a sexist oh gosh
>>61469986
potatoes are native to south america and as such weren't introduced to europe until the 16th century
Things I need parked on my willy at this moment:
qt black gf
That is all
>>61470004
nah mate
(mate, nah)
whose idea was it to make freedom of movement vital to the EU anyway? it seems like nobody wants it
not gonna reproduce because my genes aren't good enough haha lol xd
>>61470076
see we've all learned something today
>>61470045
really makes you think
your coffee is african.... your car is african.... your science is african...... your education is african...... yet your Still racist ??????!!!!!!!!!!
the (You) market has slumped since brexit, gonna have to start doing my own counterfeit (You)s till things pick up
I'm irrevocably in love with her
>>61470098
something that always bothered me about the witcher because potatoes get mentioned occasionally and it's supposed to take place in poland in the 13th century or something
*begins to recollect self after a mildly disappointing wank*
disappointing because it brought none of the fulfilment it promised
*heads back to the computer desk from the bathroom, noting the rubbish*
*gathers the main stuff and grabs an empty bowl to take downstairs*
*returns to the desk once more, noticing a cup*
*before sitting down, gives the cup a shake*
empty
*vaguely annoyed, again turns and heads to the bathroom*
*turns on the tap, which prompts an audible release of breath*
*avoid looking in the mirror as the cup fills with water*
*flicks the light of and heads back to piercingly bright computer screen*
*contemplates what this all must look like in third person on the way over*
*falls into the chair, saddened by the thought*
I must be worth more than this.
*returns to hastily switching between tabs to deal with the discomfort*
>>61470091
ze jews
sneezed having a shit, got gob a snot in me kecks
your wife's son is african....
>>61470148
i would honestly be quite pleased if these were illustrated
montenegro looks like china
if you're not currently listening to music then you should probably put some on. :) x
might i suggest some for you?
*you nod reluctantly just to get me to go away*
here you go my friend, www.youtube.com/watch?v=49o2-LgH5Yg
enjoy!!
God bless these little buggers
>>61470135
nah mate you'll get over it
>>61470091
It's sort of a requirement for open markets to operate with any consistency.
>>61470091
*smashes head through drywall*
Who - you wonder?
Well did I studder?
It was the J - E - W
[Jew enters and dofts hat]
And how do you do
>>61470191
why bother? just set up a camera in his home
lol
counting my eggs before they hatch and then putting them all in one basket
>>61470236
Is this all the same fucking guy every thread
I really like him
>>61470245
Oooh talk about double downing on the metaphors
ballbag's gone septic because I didn't sterilise the needle I used to sew it back up
>>61470245
>counting my eggs before they hatch
this is an okay thing to do
>Random slag you've never met updated her profile picture to her practically topless pulling a stupid face
>Your former work colleague who spends £200 a week on footy bets and openly smokes weed likes this
Every time
>>61470237
nah don't it'd be depressing
>>61470245
good lad
>>61470205
But she seems so lovely and warm
Would really love to kill an Aussie.
Would really love to be killed
>>61470275
how's the broken collarbone lad
>>61470275
Your scrotum must be a right mess
>>61470314
not a nice thing to say about your wife's son's father
>>61470314
mon then
what am i like lads
>>61470286
yeah, for me... would hit way too close to home, i bet those fr*cking normies would be laughing to themselves though.
speaking of normies, when are we planning on killing them all?
Would love to fuck an Aussie trap in the mouth
>>61470351
madman
Erm...
*dodges the question*
You see the thing is...
*waves arms*
It's important to keep in mind that...
*buggers an orphan boy*
Well, that's one perspective, but...
*embezzles funds*
The truth is, under this government...
*bequeaths powers to Brussels*
I'm sorry but that's not a question I'm prepared to answer at this point
CHIM †bh
don't get how people go hiking without any trail info
do you just turn up and walk on a random path
really made me open the third eye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0X1EdywwsE
Would really like a better family
>>61470398
os map or bust m8
compass ideally
>>61470411
*fucks your mum*
alri
>>61470398
Yeah
Keep my bear killing knife with me just in case though
>>61470356
Normies are not enemies, friend. We must strive to reach their level in one way or another.
>>61469910
His voice is disgusting
>>61470443
afoy foy
>>61470379
>Sir do you think the brexit was a good idea
>Well you see-
>It's a yes or no question
>The situation here-
>It's a yes or no question
>It's all very complicated-
>It's a yes or no question
>It's not black and white you see-
>It's a yes or no question
>I have to elaborate here-
>Your time is up
>>61470435
>>61470461
i'm looking at lesser knowm national parks or just 2nd/3rd world countries in general and there is literally no information on them at all, yet loads of pictures of people on paths in nice places
>>61470475
that is NO way to talk to your new dad, sonny boy
>>61470498
gps probs
*relaxes back in my Eames lounge chair and ottoman*
*Enter, poleaboo, fully transitioned and probably quite fit after a few drinks, in a maid's outfit*
a-anything to drink sir
a whisky, on the rocks, no ice. Thank you
*poleaboo comes back with my drink*
Thanks love, have a shower by the way you smelly paki I can smell you from here ahaha
*many cheers and thunderous laughter in the background*
Ah yes, time to finally relax
*I sip my whisky, place it back down on the brass side table and pick up the financial times*
Truly a splendid afternoon in the illustrious /brit/ manor.
>>61470194
fuck off street view twat
>>61470469
If we kill the normiest normies it will bring the mean normieiness down and we'll be closer to the average normies.
completely ashamed to be English right now. I'm genuinely shocked that the majority voted to leave and disgusted that most of that came from uninformed voters influenced by untrue propaganda. I mean I'm prepared to move on now and try and flee the country (help) but I'm still going to keep my vote remain posters up so my neighbours that voted leave can feel bitter regret as they can't afford to buy as much anymore and they can watch the country go down in flames and know that it was as equally their fault as the people writing go home on walls. (btw I'm legit 14 so now imma hav to deal with the shitty consequences for years to come whereas all those racists are gonna die in 2 years with the immigrants still here) Scotland: run for ur life. Ireland: run for ur life brexitters: run for ur life coz I'm coming for ya with a smack in the gob with a side order of fuck u
>>61470528
hikers dont usually have gps
thainonce doesn't like to talk about his family's dark past, he regrets his actions, his aunt forgives him for what he did to her daughter(his niece) and wishes for him to stay in thailand where he is safe.
Thainonce once went on an excursion with his CBBC co-workers, this was when jim, his closest friend at the company began to suspect thainonce's nonce tendencies, has he noticed him say something peculiar with sexual undertones about one of the little girls who came to his show.
When the allegations came out and thainonce was accused, jim had a difficult dilemma to face, he ultimately decided to side against thainonce as he truly believed the allegations, he knew thainonce was capable of it.
*Thainonce in tears, career over, reading the "slanderous" newspaper article about him*
>Jim, you can't possibly believe this right!?
>I don't know thainonce, what you said about that little girl on the trip really stuck with me, I think you have it in you to do such a thing. If you admit it and get therapy, we can be friends again, until then I'm afraid I have to part ways. You've been a good friend to me thainonce.
>Jim... It doesn't have to be this way!
>I'm... sorry....
*Jim turns and walks away, leaving thainonce distraught in silence*
Shortly after this incident, thainonce was tried and convicted, leading to his mother's suicide(RIP).
U AINT MY MUVVA
>>61470461
how many bears has it killed?
>>61470568
YES OI AHM
>>61470469
oi nah F that man
normies a shit!
>>61470562
>niece
it would be his cousin you fucking DOLT
>>61470551
A tantalising thought.
>>61470558
how do you know
might even just have a smartphone
in bed lads
very tired and sore hahaha mental still going to shitpost for a bit then put on some xfm and drift off to sleep
Is the ultimate conclusion of the EU a superstate?
realistic target gf
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=71210055
yank on vacation here lad m8s
what is there to do in london close to waterloo
it's raining bad
>>61470498
Don't need a guide to know where I am in the woods because I'm not a retard usually
>>61470590
Enough
>>61470655
Poo in Waterloo
>>61470655
>waterloo
you're in central london
so....everything
>>61470642
phwoar
>>61470655
Drink tea and moan about the weather
>>61470655
pop up to grimsby and visit the arcade lad
>>61470655
>Waterloo
Couldn't escape if I wanted to
I like to socialise with friends, I also like to watch movies especially comedies, I love listening to music, I don't listen to a specific genre either I like a bit of everything haha
>>61470627
The European project was intended to be a 100 year plan towards some sort of federalisation.
I suppose it's a fairly noble goal but the French and Germans couldn't agree one whether political or currency union should come first so they've rushed bits of both and fucked everything up.
>>61470568
NEED to see how Zoe is looking these days
Hmmm...
>>61470717
Do you have a car?
>>61470734
JUST
*siren roars past*
Thainonce's heart raced, ever since the judge slammed his mallet down with the force of 1000 thunderbolts to convict thailad to 8 years in prison for child abuse, he knew he could not hide out for much longer. Everytime he heard a siren he thought it might be the end.
Thainonce had now been planning his escape for several days now, laying low from the police. He had more than enough supplies to last him for several weeks but he knew soon enough he would be tracked down. The manhunt for him was national after all.
He decided on thailand, a poor country far away with lax extradition laws, and high corruption He knew this way that he could buy children, bribe the police and carry on his nonce activities without anyone batting an eyelid.
>Now just how do I get there?
Thainonce thought to himself, surely his passport would be flagged by now and any attempt to leave the country would lead to his arrest.
>If I can just get to the airport at peak time, I might be able to slip through the cracks undetected
Thainonce reassured himself he'd think about it in the morning, and went back to sleep.
Morning came about, and thainonce was brushing his teeth when he looked out of the window. He saw what he had feared the most, police cars on his street, were they for him? who knows. It looked like a routine operation for a low-risk criminal, however thainonce despite being a high-risk target could take no chances.
He took his pre-packed bag which he kept for emergencies like these and ran out the back door. Calling a taxi on his phone, he cursed his slow, laggy android smartphone and wished he'd have bought an iphone like everyone else. Eventually he got through
>X Taxis, how may I help you?
>I need a taxi NOW!
>Where are you?
>I'm at 123 nonce street
>What's your name please sir?
Thainonce panicked for a second, there was a national manhunt out for him, there was no way he could give his real name.
>Mr Thai """"L-Lad"""
He stuttered
>>61470655
There's an expensive restaurant just outside waterloo station which is over rated but the steaks aren't too bad and the staff are nice
rancid little tart
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=120982145
>in my free time i love watching movies (Mainly marvel! it's hard to beat a good superhero flick)
>My friends would probably describe me as a bit of a nerd since i love my comic book heroes and allot of anime
>I also absolutely love going to concerts!! all be it that being 5ft2" makes it a little hard to mosh.
What do you think this person looks like, before I post them?
lads im smoother than butter
>>61470743
Prefer not to say
>>61470655
Go see the Tower of London
I'd visit savile row cuz I like clothes n shiet
me on the right (politically speaking)
>>61470734
>mention a British TV personality from yesteryear
>kiwi Googles a recent picture
decent gimmick
if you need a pick me up, look for the main girl off of Spy Kids
>>61469261
Oh no £1 has dropped from $1.50 to $1.30 how will I ever cope with the loss of 20 cents
just found out my cat is gonna have to be put down
just about finished posting on all of me boards, just not getting as many (You)s today, lads. a bit distressing that, perhaps i'll take the day off
>>61470758
>That's great, the taxi will be there in 1 minute
Great thainonce thought, with a sigh of relief. One minute later as promised, the taxi showed up, thainonce hopped in.
>AIRPORT, NOW!
He barked at the driver, and with the taxi driver detecting thainonces urgency, he stepped on the gas pedal. The driver may or may not of known who his passenger was.
Arriving at the airport, thainonce knew he only had one chance. He either got on the plane to bangkok, his nonce paradise, or he would wind up in a jail cell.
He had managed to book a flight on the journey to the airport, still amazed with his IT knowledge at how they hadn't tracked him down despite the fact that he used his real name.
He was flying with Thai airways, as they flew direct, a layover would only increase the chances of him being captured.
Thainonce carefully approached the check in counter, he suffered from anxiety, but this was increased tenfold with the current situation he was in.
>H-hi, Mr Thai N-Nonce here to check in
>certainly sir, do you have your passport?
Thainonce flustered, searched around his bag for his passport.
>H-here you go sir
Trying to hide his face, his voice was muffled.
The check in desk worker look at his passport, then back to thainonce, now back to his passport again, thainonce's heart dropped dead, he'd been discovered. He expected a hand to grab him on the shoulder and turn him around at any minute now. The check in desk worker opened his mouth to confirm thainonce's suspicions, or so he thought
>All checked in Mr Nonce, have a safe flight.
Thainonce's heart jumped with joy, he was now only one step away from getting on the plance. Security. The gauntlet. The name alone gave him chills. But he was in it to win it now, no backing out.
After a brief walk, thainonce came to the security. The line was long so he had time to wait, however in this sitation, every moment seemed like agony stabbing him
>>61470245
I would appreciate if you dont steal my intellectual property again thank you
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/56672115/#56673754
>>61470734
face has gone but I would let her suffocate me with those thighs
>>61470779
well done ed
so many nice places in the world
>>61470812
Well he is pretty heavy
>>61470394
really need him to bind me to Mundus and shove Muatra down my throat
just got the old internet set up in the new flat lads
having to balance my monitor on top of my case because i don't have a desk lmao
>>61470698
>>61470699
>>61470701
>>61470703
>>61470707
>>61470768
>>61470794
Not even a yank lads haha
Absolutely howling at all these (You)'s coming in
tricked
>>61470777
Ah holy shit she looks so British
>>61470779
Going right into the friendzone I reckon
>>61470701
So British!! xD
>>61470831
streetview wanker loves his streetviews
>>61470819
>Stay cool
Thainonce thought to himself, It was finally his turn to approach the metal detector, he was just walking through with an air of confidence when
>BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
The metal detector had gone off, thainonce's worst fears had been realized. The security guard told thainonce to step to one side, and then got the portable metal detector.
As he was going over thainonce's belongings, the metal detector let out an audible shriek.
>This is it
He thought, heart dropped
>They're gonna find my pen drive with 8GB of cheese pizza on there
The world appeared to go in slow motion as the security guard opened his bag and emptied it.
Going over all his belongings with the detector, one item stuck out. It was thainonce's metal buttplug
>HOW COULD I FORGET SUCH A THING!?
Thainonce thought to himself as he smacked his forehead, he knew he'd fucked up, he just hoped nobody asked for his passport, despite the fact that his mugshot has been on every news channel for the past 48 hours, nobody had recognized him, it must have been a miracle.
Finally after confiscating the rather embarassing object, thainonce got to relax before the departure.
Not much happened during this period, however thainonce was still on edge, he knew it was not over yet.
Finally departure time came and he was called to gate 8
>8, just like I like my women
Thainonce thought to himself with a giggle. However he knew now was not the time for jokes. He approached the boarding worker, and handing him his ticket.
>Ah Mr Nonce, we've been expecting you.
The worker said, as he saw two police looking men walking towards him from the plane
He's considered himself lucky to get this far, but his heart sunk, it was over. His life flashed before his eyes, and so did his future in prison. He knew they didn't take kindly to nonces in prison.
>I've gotta do something, FAST!
Thainonce thought to himself, and so he...
TO BE CONTINUED
>>61470831
looks shit, prefer my bedroom
>>61470847
don't have to rub it in, la
>>61470847
bit childish
>>61470562
>>61470758
>>61470819
is there a beginning to this story
we need to chronicle this
>>61470847
Don't do this again
>>61470779
how the fuck does any of that work mate what the fuck
I might need to stop laying so much ground work if that's what you can get away with for a date hahaha
>>61470853
haha the friend(ly sex zone)
her: please have sex with me. i also like your hair!
me: thanks!
>>61470847
you'd best hope I don't catch ye out and about or I'll fooking smoke ye and steal yer trainers
On the flight to thailad, thainonce sighed, he thought to himself how lucky he was that he'd manage to make it through the airport undetected(don't forget, he had just been tried for child abuse).
It was at that time, that he heard a language foreign to his ears. Considering his destination was bangkok, he assumed it to be thai.
It was a family of 5, considering thailand is relatively poor, to be able to afford a trip to the UK must mean this particular thai family was well off.
Given the plane's 3-4-3 seating structure, with thailad sat in the middle row second from the right, the father, mother and oldest son took the row to the left of thailad, leaving their 2 youngest daughters who must have been no older than 10 to sit next to this unassuming, safe, white man.
Little did they know of this man's dark history, he knew he couldn't, not in public, it would be way too obvious. Maybe if he could lure one to the bathroom he thought to himself, but he soon dismissed this unrealistic plan.
7 hours in to the 12 hour flight to bangkok, although he normally wished he had the money to fly first class(once his mother's inheritance came through he would, but that's a story for a different day), he was especially cursing himself this time, as the little girl's leg was constantly brushing against his, giving him a raging erection.
Thainonce thought some incredibly unpure thoughts on that flight, he eventually could take no more, the volcano in his pants that was about to erupt was seeping a clear, white liquid. It was at that time he knew, it was now or never, he HAD to go to the toilet to relieve himself.
He stumbled up in to the aisle, awaking the person next to him, and made a dash for the toilet as fast as he could.
A red light flashed across thainonce's eyes, he knew red meant something bad, it was the sign of denial, the sign that said "occupied" on the toilet door.
Unable to hold it on, what would thainonce do next...
>>61469901
Scotland (and the UK) has literally nothing to offer business without EU membership. This is evidenced by the fact the UK economy is currently imploding.
>>61470847
i bet you aren't even in waterloo you cheeky bar steward >:@
>>61470875
nah i matched with this bird on tinder last year and then she popped up randomy 6 months ago asking if i knew where to buy bud
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=119432796
>19 years old
really?
>>61470909
>>61470864
>>61470866
>>61470874
>>61470879
>>61470891
Fucking hell you all just replied to me again
HOWLING
>>61470922
She looks those packs you used to get where you'd blow up a balloon and stick eyebrows and eyes and that on it
>>61470857
>>61470881
How has this jumped from him being caught in the metal detector to him on the plane
Bit of a jump here
>>61470808
well it matters when you're dealing with millions (like me)
>>61470916
still that's so fucked haha. I've never even dared to do that to a girl I'm tuning because me getting blocked is the only forseeable outcome.
now I'm thinking that I should have asked this girl out I was talking to on fb a couole of weeks ago rrrrrreeeeee. her friend even told me too and I didn't rrrrrreeeeeee
just want to be on a path 6000ft up
>>61470655
stay indoors and have a wank
>>61470973
I didn't write them in chronological order, don't worry, all plot holes will be filed in time
>>61470987
mmmm grim gotta capitalise on the moment lad
be at peace, brah
rekt
>>61471011
are these all in a pastebin or something
finding this quite amusing
HE'S ABSOLUTELY LOST IT
>>61470969
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
I love Sum 41 so bad
>you will never be 14 again skating with your mates whilst listening to Sum 41 and Blink182
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waixG1Dhr3w&feature=share
Literally Rebbit the video
>>61470952
please no more of this tom foolery I'm simply not in the mood
>>61470922
Bit funny looking, but kinda like it.
looks like someone's a bit CRABBy (reference to thread that was just deleted by the custodian)
>>61471012
I can rebound I think...rate my new plan
>get girl we are mutually friends with to invite her next time we all have drinks
>talk to her again in person
>go off ground work laid
>get a bit of wingman in from the friend
>ask her out for dinner and drinks for the following night
it could very well work
heh heh heh
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=119324091
horrifying
>>61471032
That's all there is so far, much to thailad's dismay, I only started writing his biography this morning. He doesn't like talking about his past.
janny chuckling into his toaster snacks
>Oh no 2 posts early 4chan is crashing as hard as the UK economy
>>61471090
yeah nah thats actually heaps solid. soudns perf lad i rex you can do it for sure.
>Jews and Sikhs voted mostly to leave
Hmmmm... I thought leave voters were racist white people.
the janny blatantly browses and posts in these threads
>>61471058
Lel what the fuck
need a 5/10 gf that doesn't want to go anyway or do anything and doesn't have any real life goals
B-buh I thought everyone was regretting their choice and it was a terrible mistake? Leftists once again BTFO
>>61471095
haha
>>61471114
>2 posts early
>>61469859
Good thing the EU is going to come crashing down. I can't wait for more
>mu-muh populist nonsense
>m-muh racism
>m-muh hatespeech old ppl!
>>61471119
yeah cheers m8, keep us updated with R gril. good to see you've moved on from barista qt
>>61471175
Genuinely funny, thanks for sharing
need to be gangraped by horny single mums on the school-run
stay woke
anyone have that picture of mitchel holding two eggs in between his fingers?
>>61471183
She had to mention she was on the left at her sisters graduation.
Fuck normies are dumb.
i used to be cool... once...
*cue sad music*
wish i wasn't ugly
ironically filet-o-fish is the best thing on the menu at mcdonalds
>>61471221
She's fit though so back off, yeah?
>>61471000
thanks for the feel, i felt it quite nicely
>>61471247
Despise that nigger tbhwyf
going to eat some tomato ketchup on toast
one sec
why is everyone jumping on the bandwagon of hating the Farage speech at the EU? It was legitimately good
>>>/a/143461897
>>>/a/143461897
>>>/a/143461897
>>>/a/143461897
![capture4[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/k7fd4fz.png "capture4[1]")
