/brit/ hungover as fuck edition craving a fry up
sophie
gay sex ?
>>52756025
still drinking la'
>Wanking off in my bedroom
>really need to take a shit
>Dog chases cat into my bedroom
>Mum follows dog to try and stop him
>Realise i've left my laptop on my bed with the screen open with porn
>Hop up mid shit and dash into room
>Manage to close screen and kick dog and cat out of room before my mum sees the porn
>Trousers and boxers ruined because I didn't wipe
How do I explain this to my mum
*sigh*
*remembers when runescape wasn't so shit*
>>52756184
tell her you and the bf tried something extra cheeky last week and its been messing with your bowel movements. Worked wonders for me
>>52756184
just wash your pants when she goes out, and bin your undies
>>52756184
chuck em in the washing machine when she's out
>>52756440
>pants
fuck off yank
>he starts thread off by denying he uses a trip or hosts AMAs
>by the end of the thread he has done both those things
How can you all not see this
>>52756141
what ya guzzling mate????????
>>52756475
literally who?
>>52756184
just look deep into her eyes and say: JUST
>>52756444
>This bum blasted chink shitting on the fuck off yank meme for some reason
Lads I got a job today. At an Abattoir. In the "Bovine Deconstruction" section.
I'm a Boner. I'm a professional Boner.
Life is suffering
>Being obsessed with Thailad
@52756518
>being factually wrong and a literal paki
you're not welcome around here, abdul
>>52756546
>see beef boner jobs advertised in my area
>chuckle like a school girl each time
fucks sake
>>52756485
Pitcher's worth of Green Apple Angry Orchard
trying to write some freelance shit so I can pay rent next month cuz
>>52756581
GIMME FUE GIMME FAI GIMME DABAJABAZA
>>52756581
3 piece chicken with 6 sizzler wings, large fried and a diet coke please
>>52756581
chicken doner wrap please boss
>>52756581
>>52756629
Shit, can't forget the Peri-peri chili sauce
>>52756581
who even walks into such places
>off menu items
Well how the fuck am I supposed to order them then?
>>>/a/135306408
Found the world's most autistic post 2015 lads
What are better? Photos with girls or photos with guys, if you're the best looking and tallest (girls are only up to about my shoulder) in both sets?
>>52756628
what is wrong with you
>>52756574
a weeb defending a weeb, what a surprise?
>>52756611
i don't even want to show up next monday for the job, because then id have to introduce myself as a boner to people. im a boner. FUCC
>>52756618
give us a geeze at your work mate
next plato in the making?
>you will never have some sad cunt obsess over your posts and save screenshots of your posts
why even live lads
literaly as in the literal sense eating some food right now
>>52756698
depends how peng the girls are Tbh
>>52756712
You're just a racist
>>52756546
proper kekkles
>tfw you realize loads of ppl are anti-social and that you're normal
>>52756025
don't put /brit/ in the comment field you nonce
>>52756581
Chicken kebab with yoghurt sauce and salad and a portion of chicken pakoras please boss.
>>52756787
Or what? Huh?????
>in the airport in Australia waiting on the return trip to the UK
>starts raining
>all the workers go home
>I have to get my flight the next day
>>52756832
You might die
Eating a pork pie desu lads
>be me
>do a poo
>mfw
>>52756858
No you aren't.
>>52756787
That literally isn't the way it's supposed to be, newfaggot
>>52756971
Yes I am. Bought in in the english shop tbqh
reminder that poortherners got bantered so hard by their Southern superiors in yesterday's threads that they left
>>52756858
Pork Pies are shit
inb4 pajeet
>give billions in foreign aid to barren sandy wastelands filled with brown people where it disappears completely
>can't find the money to stop our own population's homes being destroyed by floods every single year
hmm
>the south is white
>>52757029
Rasheed
>>52757013
>the english shop
daily reminder that she will never love you back
>>52757018
>mfw literally driving to my home in the north after spending the week in my native south vising family
Thinking of killing myself tbqh
>>52757036
>give billions in foreign aid to barren sandy wastelands filled with brown people
but that would have happened if they'd given it to the North anyway
>>52757072
What are you trying to say. You have chink shops and other such stuff right
>ah yes, building on flood planes excellent idea
>>52757029
Hardeep.
>>52757036
Clearly you've never lived in high society, international aid is not optional if we want to retain international standing.
>>52757083
>>52757013
What does it sell?
who should i be in my new football manager save lads?
Pork Pies are only good when they're hot out of the oven imo
Shite-tier when cold.
>>52757139
Kek, pretty much
Though it's sunny today
>>52757100
>planes
>>52756711
everything
>>52757172
allow it
doing a avoiding my responsibilities
>Ah yes, letting humanity grow to a level where flooding is a major issue. Great idea
We have only ourselves to blame
>>52757100
Floodplains move.
That's why everyone is surprised.
>>52757100
It is a pretty excellent idea if you're a developer and melts are stupid enough to buy your properties.
>>52757126
Depends how much clout you have. I'm quite sure no one is going to stop trading with China if they immediately cease all foreign aid. But the UK has to keep up appearances because we're a diddy country that likes to pretend we're relevant in 2015.
>>52757043
That's just a population map, Aarush.
http://strawpoll.me/6383018
http://strawpoll.me/6383018
http://strawpoll.me/6383018
just fapped to yogahotwife
>>52757100
>>52757172
>>52757218
We are still hugely powerful and very relevant on the global stage
How are they even allowed to build on flood planes?
Planning permission is a nightmare here as it is and they are allowed to build somewhere that they know will destroy the houses?
>>52757273
no one's buying it, Dave
Ahh yes, very refreshing
>>52757261
I thought that was an easyJet plane by the thumbnail
I'm very disappointed
>>52757228
Your point, Karim?
>>52757273
True but plenty people still think we're in the reign of the British Empire to hear them talk. We're a meme country.
>>52757218
>But the UK has to keep up appearances because we're a diddy country that likes to pretend we're relevant in 2015.
My point exactly.
Just bought my first hundred 1kg gold bars lads
going to use it to fund a coup in Angola and install several workers unions who will pay up to me
ciao
>>52757148
All kinds of food like sausages and pies, english chocolate like crunchies and flakes.
Booze like Guiness and strongbow.
And shit loads of tacky "english" stuff like clocks and plates
>>52757315
Rogan Josh.
epic poll for all the memers ITT
Off to do the shopping lads, want anything?
>>52757362
here it is lmao
http://strawpoll.me/6383032
http://strawpoll.me/6383032
>>52757275
It's all corrupt, and they're trying to meet big dave's new housing quota.
Why can't developers just build on brownfield sites, for fucks sake
>You used to ring me on my mobile
>Give money to foreign pakis instead of spending it on flood defense
>Import millions of pakis when we have our own unemployed
>Let refugees in and give them free shelter when we have our own homeless
Noticing a pattern?
The Tories are just anti-white.
>>52757377
Fucking hell that water level is insane
>>52757275
They weren't floodplains in the 1970s lad
>live in York
>be down South for Christmas
>by the time I'm back everything will be fine
>can watch the chaos with my 3 packs of Celebrations left over in total comfort
BTFO
>>52757377
>modern feminism
I hope one of these days, people are going to snap.
Maybe then we can oust that pig molester and do a proper job
>>52757411
irish flag lol
>>52757429
late night when you need my love
>>52757454
>implying Labour aren't just as guilty of being white apologists
>>52757487
>he thinks the water just disappears and everything will return to normal
think your carpet might need a scrub after this Vishal
want to become a private detective but i don't feel like i'm old and grizzled enough yet
>wake up
>have a shower
>need to shit as soon as I get out and dressed
>>52757462
what is it with you
it's like you've never had a flood before or something
>>52757578
Become a tech savvy young one like in die HArd 4
>>52757534
>17
>can grow a better beard than me at 28
apart from being ugly shitskin manlets with small dicks, paki genes are GOAT
>Amid all the devastation and recriminations over the flooding, hardly anybody mentions one factor that may not be the sole cause but certainly hasn’t helped, and that is the almost complete cessation of dredging of our rivers since we were required to accept the European Water Framework Directive (EWF) into UK law in 2000.
>Last century the obligation to dredge out the rivers was transferred to local river boards, consisting of farmers and landowners who knew the area and its characteristics, and who had statutory responsibilities to prevent or minimise flooding.
>But all this changed with the creation of the Environment Agency in 1997 and when we adopted the European Water Framework Directive in 2000. No longer were the authorities charged with a duty to prevent flooding. Instead, the emphasis shifted, in an astonishing reversal of policy, to a primary obligation to achieve ‘good ecological status’ for our national rivers. This is defined as being as close as possible to ‘undisturbed natural conditions’. ‘Heavily modified waters’, which include rivers dredged or embanked to prevent flooding, cannot, by definition, ever satisfy the terms of the directive. So, in order to comply with the obligations imposed on us by the EU we had to stop dredging and embanking and allow rivers to ‘re-connect with their floodplains’, as the currently fashionable jargon has it
>And to ensure this is done, the obligation to dredge has been shifted from the relevant statutory authority (now the Environment Agency) onto each individual landowner, at the same time making sure there are no funds for dredging. And any sand and gravel that might be removed is now classed as ‘hazardous waste’ and cannot be deposited to raise the river banks, as it used to be, but has to be carted away.
tl;dr EUs fault again.
https://notalotofpeopleknowthat.wordpress.com/2015/12/26/what-the-authorities-wont-tell-you-about-the-floods/
>>52757611
I've not
>>52757626
Does that include the gene for internalised terrorism?
Would you even be allowed to name a child 'leper' or 'runt'. Seems a bit out of order, even if it is banter.
>>52757626
>tfw get grey hairs before I can grow a full beard
>>52757534
Live in a top floor apartment m8.
>implying Paki's in North/East Riding
Only in West and South tbqh familia
>>52757519
I know when that hotline bling
>The sickening theory of laissez-faire capitalism finally died with the recent report from one of the West’s leading think tanks. The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) has found that income inequality actually hampers economic growth in some of the world’s wealthiest countries, while the redistribution of wealth via taxes and benefits doesn't.
you used to beep me on my pager
>>52757666
in this country it's perfectly legal.
not worth it unless the opinion held for the parents is already lower than what would be assigned to someone who was to do such a thing
Thinking about getting some of those incense sticks that you burn and they give off a nice smell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0s0LSah6R0
could there be anything more normie than liking drake
>>52757626
that beard is fucking shit what are you on about
>>52757795
going to uni and wearing headphones instead of earphones in public
>tfw life isn't all futurey
What happened lads?
Apart from having miniature computers in all our pockets, life hasn't changed much in decades.
>>52757745
everyone knew this. But nowadays we don't live in a world where it's worth caring about the income and living standards of other people.
>>52757790
Clearly you've never lived with a "neo-pagan", they're fucking horrid
>>52757626
Give me your genes, i fucking hate facial hair.
>>52756581
Why are you standing in front of the counter?
>>52757814
Youre an idiot
>>52757847
he was obviously restocking
>>52757828
Do you not get ones that smell nice? Like smell similar to a candle or something?
Perhaps I will just buy a candle instead.
>>52756698
We'll be the judge of that lad, post both here
>>52757795
my brother listens to drake, has it on on his phone when he walks around the house
it is absolutely horrendous, unironically the worst thing i've heard in a long time
Curry supernoodles with french bread and a coke zero for lunch lads.
>>52757888
is this you? haha!
>>52757890
Bit racist desu
>>52757898
shit lunch 2bh
>>52757795
liking justin bieber
quite a legs lad myself
> talking to a british bird at the pub
> she wants to pinch a dart
> ask if she can roll
> "roll what"
> explain that I don't have tailored ciggies, only papers, filters, and tobacco
> shes still confused
> show her
> "people dont do that in England"
Is this true lads, or is she a damaged whore?
ps. expanded her vertical axe wound
>>52757940
Yes people smoke roll-ups in the UK. Also you sound like a wank.
>>52757940
she is wrong
also when you said "pinch a dart" i thought you meant do a poo
>>52757940
What is she on about, literally everyone rolls here.
>>52757898
povvo
>>52757151
Neil Lennon
>>52757888
>>52757923
same
i find women with short legs really unattractive
>>52757940
>> "people dont do that in England"
nice story mate, if its true you bet the most sheltered retarded smoker imaginable.
>>52757940
i hate the fucking bags + papers. Why do people in Melbourne do that? Is it cheaper?
>>52756698
Photos with multiple girls implies you're in the friendzone or a player
Photos with guys just says that you're normal
>>52757965
reverse this statement and pet my ego pls lad
its all ive got
>>52758011
>>52757972
>>52757967
alright so shes just a spastic, fair play
>>52758020
> Lelbourne
Dunno what you're on about sorry
>>52758020
It's much cheaper here at least
>Oxford student behind Cecil Rhodes campaign wants French flag banned on campuses
>The Tricolour is a “violent” symbol, comparable to the Nazi swastika, says Oxford University student activist
I agree
well good morning
>>52758089
morning mate, you alright?
>>52758020
don't they get to choose how much tobacco they want??
>>52758079
>cancer sticks: poverty edition
Ever since i left the city, (You) (You) (You)
>>52758124
lewd
doing a poo
Did 45 squats this morning. 5 and then 10 to warm up then 3 sets of 10 with a 10kg dumbbell resting along the back of my shoulders. Don't have a barbell but have more weights I can add to the dumbbell over time.
Still enjoying doing the squats t͜bh. Just the actual motion of doing a nice squat is great. Sometimes when I'm alone and in front of a mirror I'll do a squat or two because they're so fun. Highly recommend it to lads with noodle-legs like me looking to build legs that look normal.
>>52758079
how do people this thick get into uni
let alone oxford
>>52758104
bit cold out
>almost 2016
>8°C outside
ebic
>>52758137
Starting wearing more and going out less
>>52758182
When are you moving here m8? You've been coming to /brit/ for ages desu
>>52758177
>Ntokozo Qwabe
How do you think?
Watching 'Spirited Away' on film4 lads, does that make me a weeb nonce?
>>52758172
yeah squat all you want faggot genetics is everything
>buy house on a flood plain
>heavy rain
>house floods
>IT'S A BLOODY DISGRACE WHAT IS THE GOVERNMENT DOING ABOUT IT I ASK YOU
>you will never have a chubby gf to eat out and make sweat and blush
http://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1451295027783.png
why live
>>52758219
WE WUZ STUDENTS
Had some weird white spot on my forehead, was barely noticeable and didn't hurt
Just squeezed this weird white shit out of it s m h
>>52758231
I'm not trying to become a competitive bodybuilder; all I'm doing is doing squats in the mornings a few days a week, slowly increasing the weight so my legs have more mass.
Would quite like to go to Canada desu scenery looks amazing.
>>52757629
Fucking hell lad
>>52758240
What the fuck dude that's my sister man
>>52758237
They weren't floodplains when the houses were built
>>52758240
good picture that
>>52758237
WE NEED MO MONEY FOR DEM FLOOD WALLS HE A GOOD BUILDING LOCATION HE DINDU NUFFIN
>>52758222
Nah m8 ghibli is normie-tier anime.
I watched Porco Rosso with my dad years ago and he really liked it.
>>52758282
Looks like rural somerset with more hills desu
>>52757151
whitehawk
h
i
t
e
h
a
w
k
>>52758079
I can understand why they want to get rid of Rhodes but the tricolour?
>>52758240
gross picture that
kevin
what is the best way of insulting women?
Like really getting under their skin?
Gonna BTFO this hangover with a massive bowl of chili 2bh
>>52758353
>I can understand why they want to get rid of Rhodes
>>52758353
It's a reminder of the imperial crimes France committed against Africa, same as the Union Jack.
>>52758307
Yeah I'm sure that's what the estate agent told them. People need to think for themselves ffs
>right on the edge of a floodplain is completely safe
>>52758375
Ignoring them completely.
>>52758375
tell her she's the ugly one between her and her friends
>>52758218
I dunno. Would surely be neat.
>>52758395
So people just shouldn't buy houses next to rivers?
Those rivers never used to flood, failure to dredge the bottoms of the river and global warming leading to more storms have created those floodplains.
Give me your absolute rarest Lisicki
HELP TO BUY SCHEME
Could people reply to my posts please? Thanks.
>>52757745
>implying i'm willing to give my money to selfish gibsmedat twats
Everyone wants a socialist state without working for it. The mentality, and patriotism isn't there anymore.
>>52757826
Mate even we all had flying cars and shit, that would seem mundane to us. We'd be thinking, 'why don't we have inter-dimensional space travel? Why isn't life futurey?'
>>52758448
>So people just shouldn't buy houses next to rivers?
Yes, that's exactly my point
>>52758453
>>52758453
>>52758453
>>52758404
works if they're trying to speak to you, but they will often write it off as you being shy or something
>>52758407
bit too barefaced
I'd say asking them if 'they're ok or well or if they are tired' works pretty well at really breaking them down.
>>52757986
>>52758453
>>52758389
Rhodes was a nonce and a bit of a prick desu
>>52758477
>Half of the UK now uninhabitable.
>bacon in the fridge
>no bread
reee
I am a proud owner of a ski mask but I have yet to partake of the sport
>>52758453
The only lisicki I've made is incidentally the best lisicki there is.
It's him at the Yalta conference next to FDR, Churchill and uncle Joe
Shame I deleted it 2bh
>>52758544
everyone was a nonce back in those days lads
>>52758575
I'm pretty sure I have it saved on my other harddrive
So what's happening with this Muslim family that was barred from the US? Everything has gone suspiciously quiet, which tends to happen when the media finds out a situation doesn't fit the agenda.
I want to know if anything is being done about the fact a family that was suspected of being a risk enough to be barred from the US is allowed to live happily in the UK with no repercussions,
dont think I've ever laughed at this lisicki business in my life lads
clearly isnt even the mong so why bother
>>52756184
let her wash them. that's what mum's are for.
family are supposed to know all your worst secrets and by the covenant of blood are sworn to silence
>>52758497
thats a bit unproductive since teachers coffee tastes like shit to begin with
>>52758464
Do better posts mate
>>52758544
>Let's remove Nelson's column because Nelson didn't have modern views on transgenderism!
Fuck off
>>52758632
Good idea desu
>>52758470
Where?
bigots
all of you
>>52758618
his comments are the most boring I've ever read on any board and occasionally he messes up like with the 2 hours thing
the picture is almost an independent meme at this point. still enjoyable because normies will never get their hand son it
also, it almost doesn't matter what he looks like. push it hard hard enough and for our purposes he looks like that
Sometimes I'll sit in a cafe or coffee shop with my notepad and try to come up with good brit-post ideas.
>>52758617
they had various online accounts linked to terrorist/extremist material and tried to say they were "hacked" so the yanks were justified in telling them to fuck off
they'll face no repercussions here because that would be rayciss
>Youtube Prankster Who Did ''Muslim Bomb Prank'' Gets Shot In Prank Gone Wrong
>With all the concern currently circling the world about Muslim terrorism, it seems that three brothers in Melbourne, Australia decided the best way to cope with that would be to dress up in traditional Arabic clothing and hurl backpacks full of explosives at random strangers. Of course, it was all done as a “joke” or “prank,” and there really wasn’t any explosives.
>After throwing his bag at the feet of 33-year-old, Scotty Southam, it seems that he pulled out his gun and fired upon the man he thought to be a terrorist. Arman was immediately taken to St Vincent’s & Mercy Private Hospital, where he remains in critical but stable condition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAqgXhblr-w
>>52758453
>>52758470
lytham
>>52758632
Kek
Nelson was a great naval officer.
Rhodes was just a business man.
>>52758707
>>52758707
They should put him down 2bh
lads
not being racist
But I don't see what Ched Evans did wrong.
>>52758707
>Real life aussie shitposting.
>>52758692
Please answer :
1:
http://strawpoll.me/6383215
http://strawpoll.me/6383215
http://strawpoll.me/6383215
2:
http://strawpoll.me/6383222
http://strawpoll.me/6383222
http://strawpoll.me/6383222
>>52758752
He created an entire country.
>>52758707
DUDE IT'S A PRANK BRO IT'S A PRANK
>>52758763
Had sex with a golddigger while having a footballer's IQ and millions in the bank. Basically he's a moron.
>>52758798
Pret should have been an option in the first poll
Flat white should have been an option in the second poll
>>52758707
YOU BASTARDS
>>52758763
He didn't get a written contract before shagging that bird. Apparently walking to a footballer's hotel room after a night out obviously under no duress doesn't count as consent
>>52758836
>Flat white
is white coffee
just like americano is black coffee
t. absolut plen
>>52758707
no one got shot
>>52758798
I bet you there'll be some cunts in this thread that voted independent + black coffee
What should I have for brekkie lads?
>>52758868
But he specified latte & cappuccino despite them both being white 2-bee-haych.
>>52758707
People are already calling the shooter racist for assuming he was a terrorist just because he wore traditional arab dress and threw a backpack.
>>52758798
>coffee
Fuck off yank
Let me sail, let me sail, let the Orinoco flow
Let me reach, let me beach on the shores of Tripoli
Let me sail, let me sail, let me crash upon your shore
Let me reach, let me beach far beyond the Yellow Sea
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
From Bissau to Palau in the shade of Avalon
From Fiji to Tiree and the isles of Ebony
From Peru to Cebu, feel the power of Babylon
From Bali to Cali, far beneath the Coral Sea
Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up, up
Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up, up
Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up, up
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
From the North to the South, Ebudau unto Khartoum
From the deep sea of clouds to the island of the Moon
Carry me on the waves to the land I've never been
Carry me on the waves to the land I've never seen
We can sail, we can sail with the Orinoco flow
We can sail, we can sail
Sail away, sail away, sail away
We can steer, we can near with Rob Dickins at the wheel
We can sigh, say goodbye, Ross and his dependencies
We can sail, we can sail
Sail away, sail away, sail away
We can sail, we can sail
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
>>52758798
Literally no other reason to vote independent other than trying to be cool
POLE
http://strawpoll.me/6383261
http://strawpoll.me/6383261
>>52758979
*poll
the floods are mother nature's response to Cameron's austerity for the masses and largess for the rich. Enjoy it, suckers!
>>52758990
Baited hard! Classic!
