ha ha edition
Gott strafe England
cara
kpop desu lads
First for Christmas Leftovers
your mum will die tonight if you don't reply to this post
You're gonna have to help me with this cashback shit lads because I've spent my rent money if I don't get it back
What should I do? Ring Asda and ask for a refund?
>>52714835
horrendously vile
>>52714854
omg i better do it
Dear post number 52714854,
You will die at midnight tonight unless you send 200 quid to my paypal.
>>52714817
Cashback isn't a reward system you mong. It's just a convenient way to withdraw some cash when you're out shopping. If Asda regularly gave out £100 rewards I reckon they'd be in financial shambles by now. You withdrew £100 from your bank account and spent it.
>>52714876
what a
s l u t
>>52714817
are you dense? so it gave you the 100 so why are you asking us?
the fact the 100 came out in 10's was a massive clue as to what the whole feature of cashback is you mongoloid.
Azusa
A racist, christian, neurotypical, fat shaming professor and member of National Front was teaching a class on Nigel Farage, known Holocaust denier.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nigel Farage and accept he is the greatest hero Britain has ever had. Even greater than Churchill himself!!
At this moment, a brave, homosexual, transgender Labour champion who placed on the autism spectrum and understood the necessity of big government and fully supported all decisions made by Tony Blair stood up.
”What is the difference between a group of Romanians and a group of Germans living next to you?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Hitlery and smugly replied “You know the difference, Romanians statistically commit more crime.”
”Well statistically Germans commit more GENOCIDE and I'd rather have my things stolen than be genocided”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Mein Kampf. He stormed out of the room crying those Nationalist crocodile tears. The same tears Nationalists cry for the "dying" white race even though they make up 8% of the worlds population. He wished so much that he could end his life via doctor assisted suicide but he himself had campaigned against it!
The students applauded and all registered Labour that day and accepted Ed Miliband as their lord and savior. A pigeon named “Welfare Dependency” flew into the room and perched atop the communist flag and shed a tear on the chalk. Red Flag was sung several times, and Ed Miliband himself showed up and enacted an 80% tax on the rich.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He later died in prison after being rightfully arrested for hate speech.
>>52714854
I don't care but by letting you know that I have just save her life.
Everybody wins
>this melt and his cashback
this post will be 52714923
>people responding seriously to the cashback copypasta
really lads?
As-salaamu alaikum wa rahmetullahi wa barakatuhu, /asean/.
I hope you're all doing well.
Just wanted to leave a reminder, that the gates of repentance, the gates of Jannah are open.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala lead you to the rigt path and let the flower of imān grow in your hearts.
Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: When the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, began his prayer, he would exalt Allah and then say, “Verily, my prayer, my rites, my life, and my death are for Allah the Lord of the worlds. He has no partner and with this I have been commanded and I am among the Muslims. O Allah, guide me to the best deeds and the best character, for no one guides to the best of them but you, and protect me from evil deeds and evil character, for no one protects from them but you.”
عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ قَالَ كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا اسْتَفْتَحَ الصَّلَاةَ كَبَّرَ ثُمَّ قَالَ إِنَّ صَلَاتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَبِذَلِكَ أُمِرْتُ وَأَنَا مِنْ الْمُسْلِمِينَ اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنِي لِأَحْسَنِ الْأَعْمَالِ وَأَحْسَنِ الْأَخْلَاقِ لَا يَهْدِي لِأَحْسَنِهَا إِلَّا أَنْتَ وَقِنِي سَيِّئَ الْأَعْمَالِ وَسَيِّئَ الْأَخْلَاقِ لَا يَقِي سَيِّئَهَا إِلَّا أَنْتَ
>>52714925
two off. not bad
>>52714876
Good outfit
depressed
Right lads, is this a boy or a girl?
>>52714925
>>52714932
lol imagin having a mate like this, what a cockblocker
>>52714901
WHAT THE FUCK
Literally why do they do this?
I thought it recognised my debit card or something cos I do my student shopping there and AFTER my shopping on the till itself it offered it and different amounts (starting at a fiver I think) and I just thought you had the option because you could like save your points and take less moeny for bigger rewards later
I spent hundred quid on clothes and going out.
How the fuck was I supposed to know it meant just take it from my bank?
My mum is gonna fucking behead me. FUCK SAKE.
>>52714907
I thought it was a reward system like when they say buy cars and get cashback. Why are they called cashback then?
FUCK
I'm gonna ring Asda to complain
>>52714968
don't care, would still stick my willy in it
whoa whoa whoa stop... This one's for /brit/
let the waters roar jack
>>52714968
that is a boy
>>52715005
ICONIC
>>52714997
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
>>52714962
cheer up
Might get a frame for my sershie poster I think it'll look better
>>52715042
i am on higher ground anakin you have been warned
Thighs 2bh lads
cold out
/brit/ are angry?
>>52715066
from my point if view the jedi are evil
>>52715062
the fuck you gonna do when somebody sees it
fucking hell had you asked that girl out maybe you would have gotten over this manchild-like obsession
>>52715080
No
>>52714932
lol fuck off paki
>>52714992
>y wud dey do dis
no atm fees
>>52715102
now i know you are lost
![6cf7151b01fff961e9d3dad1a3d32eb122fd9d1a-400x400[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/wBvykrJ.jpg "6cf7151b01fff961e9d3dad1a3d32eb122fd9d1a-400x400[1].jpg")
>>52714992
>>52715080
why are you women so pretty?
>>52714992
really don't think they're going to take you seriously because you misunderstood cashback and then jizzed £100 up the wall mate
>>52715102
>>52715066
So it's treason then.
From a certain point of view.
lads morrisons offered me £1000 cashback as a reward for always buying my freddos there, they gave the grand in 5 quid notes and i spent it all on penny sweets and candy floss.
when do i get my reward?
>>52715145
she's chinese...
>>52715104
>the fuck you gonna do when somebody sees it
This is the poster, I can just say I like the movie and the girl and leave it at that
>fucking hell had you asked that girl out maybe you would have gotten over this manchild-like obsession
no
>>52715154
NOW THIS IS PODRACING!
>>52715154
youll certainly try....
>>52715175
Evidence to support that claim??
Just rang Asda and they said there's nothing they can do and it's a common feature that many people understand, they were almost demeaning in tone
Is there absolutely nothing I can do? CAB or something for help?
Got a headache now and the meme is no longer funny so if somebody can help me get my money back that'd be great
>Flying with Finn
>accidentally grab his leg instead of compressor shifter
>we both laugh and I unzip his pants
>land my x-wing while fondling his balls
>Finn is laughing because he knows it’s just a joke
>start sucking his dick in this empty quadrant
>almost chock on his black cock because I’m laughing so hard
>Finn is also laughing his ass off
>he starts making train noises while yelling “POEJOB POEJOB CHOO CHOO”
>he force cums and I swallow it all like some stupid faggot
>kiss Finn and call him a faggot while laughing
>>52715187
she's a fucking minger
>>52715175
I like all shades of asian
To be honest
>>52715199
just kidding lol all asians look the same :P
>Boots self service checkout
>fairly busy
>Not many staff around
>Accidentally click that i've got a coupon
>"Please scan coupon"
>There's no option to go back or change the screen
>Waiting there for a good 5 minutes with a queue behind me and no staff
>tfw
>>52715204
I refuse to believe this is real
>>52715005
MEME SYNTHESIS
>>52715204
>they were almost demeaning in tone
I'm not surprised. So you left the money at the self service machine or what? You thought it was free money?
There's nothing you can do if you left the money in the machine.
>>52715222
Don't see her appeal desu, please don't make her the new waifu
>>52715252
lmao
*bows*
>>52714808
Warum? :'(
>>52715204
oh pack it in lad
>>52715189
I'll try spinning, that's a good trick!
>>52715193
I have seen a security hologram of you...killing younglings.
>Had a headache last night
>Took 2 codine
>Head still hurts today
>Took 2 more codine
>Head still hurts
>>52715261
I just presumed that if it was cashback it was like what you get when you buy a car so it's a reward for shopping there regularly.
I didn't think it was free, just thought it was like a reward system I'd never noticed and I was able to get £100
>>52715262
>>52715308
I'm wanking right now
>>52715222
ugly paki
Hey True Blue, now be Fair Dinkum
Is your heart still there
If they sell us out like sponge cake
Do you really care
Hey True Blue
True Blue, is it me and you
Is it Mum and Dad, is it a cockatoo
Is it standin by your mate when he's in a fight
Or she'll be right
What did you make of the Big Fat Quiz last night?
Watched it with the f͜am for once so couldn't partake in live threads. Thought it was pretty decent myself.
>>52715295
anakin we were like brothers
>>52715296
try a couple of codine
just found the /brit/ anthem lads
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qma3uz9NlKM
warning: australian hip-hop
>>52715296
Tolerance mate.
Take an extra few. 3 grams of paracetomal once in a while is harmless.
>>52715209
Oh
>>52715300
You can try calling your bank I suppose but I don't think they can help
>>52715330
Excellent picture
>>52715323
Take that back, cunt!
>>52715296
take your whole supply and your head will never hurt again
>>52715222
she wouldn't look as good without the cake face
>>52715335
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE JEDI WERE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER
>>52715360
>overdosing on codeine
Literally laughing so hard. It's a baby drug
>>52715358
fuck off paki
>>52715330
>tfw missed BFQ
I was watching a shitty dvd when I could have been here posting dank memes
>>52715355
>You can try calling your bank I suppose but I don't think they can help
Cheers lad. Rang my mum in a panic and she's basically lost her shit but told me nothing I can do. She also give me a lecture and said about why she was worried I'm on my own miles away fom home.
>Tfw even 4chan laugh at you and your mum calls you a disappointment
How was I supposed to know. Fucking hell what a shit week. And I told my mates I got £100 from Asda
hey boys
a few days ago I was trying to remember a tune and I posted about it here (rap song showing the rapper with a weird shirts head at the beginning).
anyway, this is it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L2vJEb6lVE
>>52715390
it's possible, you need about 900mg though
making a wish
>>52715406
You fucking numpty
>they don't want you to hear this song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lIqNjC1RKU
First time I've been by myself for a good few days. Gonna have a large wank I think.
>>52715406
how often do they let you go for day trips on your own outside the care home?
>>52715460
take the hint cunt
>>52715380
you were the chosen one anakin
>>52715466
>not spending your time home alone smoking cannabis
what are you doing nigger
>>52715380
feisty one you are
>>52715472
they don't want me to take """the""" hint
wish i was terminally ill
>>52714828
>>52714876
very good posts
Slopes
enoch tbqh lads
>>52715533
>>52715515
I got a hint for you right here m8*
*note it is not his middle finger I didn't want to be rude
>>52715533
ok
AND I GOT THE SOOOODAAAAA
>>52715554
>>52715595
Bitch you thirsty, please grab a Sprite
My Crips lurkin', don't die tonight
I just want to dance with you, baby
Just don't move too fast, I'm too crazy
>>52715595
give me 5 (five) reasons why canada is better than america
gif related when you literally can't
>>52715406
jesus christ lad
>>52715406
>>52715533
Does slope refer to Korean or asians in general?
r8 my story senpai
Detective Woofler, known widely by his nickname of ‘Don’t fucking call me that’ was in his office brooding when a rough Pug by the name of Dug walked in. “Read this!” He barks as he chucks a dossier across the detective’s desk. “This is big Woofl-.” He was cut short by a sudden remark from the detective “Woof woof woof.” Realizing his mistake the pug quickly apologizes. “Sorry detective, but this case requires your special talents.” With a flick of his neck he opened the dossier, revealing several pictures of an incredibly colorful and inciting chewtoy. “Bark bark yap!” The detective sprung on the table and latched on to the paper with his mouth, tearing it apart almost instantly as he flailed his head around.
“You know, it’s fine. I’ll get another copy. Whatever” The pug sighs as he trots out of the room. The detective eyed the scraps of paper pensively, as his canine mind kicked into overdrive. What little information they had was patchy at best. He strolled to the watercooler only to see the rookie poodle who’d just joined up. She was known to be something of a bitch at times, but her heart was in the right place and she was making all the right moves. “Growl…” the detective remarks as he approaches her. “I told you to watch your town with me detective!” She replies curtly. It seemed these were one of those times. “Yap yap yap!” Detective Woofler replied in earnest as he proceeds to get a drink.
>>52715649
1. Stronger
2. Larger cocks
3. Intellectuals
4. Non-virgins
5. Cocaine
>>52715689
“You know, to be honest sir. I am nervous about our ability to handle this case.” She admits in a huff. “I hope you can find something because cases like these chill me to the bones.” She takes her leave as the detective turned a doubtful eye to the ground, unable to find any reassuring words to say. Indeed, the world had gone mad. In a kinder world these things wouldn’t happen. As our detective was lost in thought Dug the Pug had returned with another copy of the dossier. “I’m angry too, Wo-… old pal but we’ve been around long enough to know it’s a dog eat dog world out there.” Finding no solace in this old adage, our hero merely takes the second dossier and again unceremoniously tears it to shreds.
It wasn’t before long that detective Woofler had found himself heading to the evidence locker to examine what clues they had already found at the crime scene. The scene was a nearby backyard, and they had apparently found some bark and a couple strands of material at the scene. Sensing something on the nose, our hero knew there had to be something they had missed. He set out on foot to the scene to see if there was something else that could be dug up. On arrival he proceeded to the kennel’s entrance and gave the customary scratching to its wooden, red exterior. What lumbered out was an old sheepdog of questionable pedigree. “What, you’ve got a bone to pick to with me?”
The detective quickly whipped out his notebook and casts a quizzical eye. An unlikely victim if ever there was. After setting aside a brief moment to tear apart the notebook the questioning began.
>>52715676
>>52715712
Janny's going to have a word if you aren't careful m80
>>52715676
Anyone who looks like this
>>52715617
so based
If you close the door, the night could last forever
Keep the sunshine out and say hello to never
All the people are dancing and they're havin such fun
I wish it could happen to me
>>52715726
Did you see the thread last night, I don't think he cares any more.
>>52715714
I knew you could do it all along
Mans on roads?
When was the last time a girl text you?
When was the last time a girl that isn't a member of your family text you?
>Jerusalem on Songs of Praise
GOAT anthem
lewd in
>>52715834
>When was the last time a girl text you?
does my nan count? like last week
>When was the last time a girl that isn't a member of your family text you?
never
>>52715834
3 years ago
3 years ago
>>52715834
About nine years ago for both questions.
>>52715834
today, an
today
Gotta travel from Manchester to York next week lads. How bad do you think the floods will be?
>>52715872
what did your therapist say then?
>>52715834
30 minutes ago
A few days ago
>>52715834
5 mins ago
5 mins ago
>>52715890
More flooding on Wednesday
>>52715834
probably a couple years ago for something school related
Why are thighs so great?
having dinner a minute ago and i was full but now i'm really hungry but if i had a bag of crisps or something it would look like i lied and just didn't want more dinner because i thought it was bad even though it was actually really nice
Are you a Nazi sympathiser?
Do you admire Adolf Hitler?
>haven't wanked in a few days
>20gb of trap porn just finished downloading
wew lads going to make a big mess here ngl
>>52715834
18th december from me mum
30th october from a qt
Do you have any debt/savings lads?
I am on £0 so I don't owe anybody anything but don't have any money either but starting a job soon and will save about 500 quid a month.
What about you lads?
>>52715972
any vids? is there a torrent?
>>52715943
I'm going on the Saturday, hopefully it's cleared up somewhat by then.
>>52715834
last week
last week
>>52715834
last time I was on /brit/, so about 2.5 weeks ago
>>52715900
that you're a jealous cunt x
>>52715987
No debts, have £683.85 in the bank
>>52715729
stop posting you're my Enemy I dislike you
>>52715971
churchill was worse than stalin
>>52715987
about 9k savings 0 debt trying to save for a mortgage Tbh
Trolling /fa/ lads
http://strawpoll.me/6374454
http://strawpoll.me/6374454
http://strawpoll.me/6374454
tres importante poll lads
>>52715987
How much are you making a month to save that?
No debts except student loans, 12k savings. Could/should be more but im really lazy with, my money.
>>52716036
Rasheed
>>52716050
>Trolling
>>52716033
I love you too
wanking to some eve laurence videos
>>52716069
Yes, because I enjoy a healthy variety in my porn
>>52716069
Only ironically hahahahaahahaha
>>52715987
6k savings 2bh
>>52714854
invasion soon
>>52716129
inshallah brat
I've been a bit ill for a few days with a chesty cough, lower appetite and generally feeling a bit drained and achey. It's not too bad and I feel like I'm getting better but I want to take some mandy on New Years. I'm hoping that I'll have recovered by then but if I'm still under the weather is it safe? I'm not taking any medication
>>52715987
I've got a £600 student overdraft I'm paying off in the new year.
But I've got another £3000 in the bank.
>>52715987
No debt, £27k savings.
>>52716109
my man. lost count of the amount of times I've busted massive loads to that 'eve lawrence has awesome tits' video on pornhub
>>52716151
Of course it;s fucking safe what do you think will happen? Mandy makes me feel better when I'm sick 2bh
>>52716209
degen
>>52715987
about 4k give or take a few hundred
>>52716089
begone
gf just sent me this
I alternate between straight and gay porn per day, today is straight.
Living the high life lads
>>52716232
Only take drugs for health reasons :^)
having a good wank to Andre Boleyn rn
>>52716244
very nice
>>52716187
Jew
>tfw lamb hotpot in the slowcooker
good feel lads
bf just sent me this
>>52716244
are the high waisted jeans meant to help suck in her beergut?
just ate a pork pie sandwich lads. not feeling very proud of myself right now t b h
>>52716322
shit music
2015's been e decent year for me, got into an alright job and made a handful of new mates, also managed to lose 9kg. Way better than my suicide inducing 2013-14
Hows this year treated you lads?
>>52716301
Kek, I was being called a chav on here a couple of days ago.
>>52716281
read that as anne boleyn
haha alri henry?
>>52716151
Unless you're proper proper ill or just one of those people who are a sickly weakling all the time it'll be fine. You'll well like shit new years day but I dropped when i was a bit ill on new years last year and it really does sort you right out while you're on it, stopped feeling even a little bit ill desu
>>52716354
>chav Jew
The horror
Getting all excited here lads 2bh
>>52716338
absolute pleb detected
>>52716244
Nice one paedo
>>52716351
ur nan
>>52716332
On fat girls yes, on her no (because she has a flat tummy).
>>52716380
dpd
>>52716351
Same as yours desu, acquired cutie gf, got a 1st at uni, sorted a top-tier work placement for next year, plenty of new pals. Considering the fact I nearly topped myself during 6th form 2013-2014 everything seems to be on the up
wish I had a girlfriend hahahaha AHAHAHAAHA
>>52716333
Goldberg
Having a hunger
>>52716351
worst year of my life to date
>got a shit job, apart from disposble income I feel more depressed than ever
>put on loads of weight
>developed a unhealthy drinking habit
>was in a car crash
>>52716077
21K per year but live at home and just finished uni so only expense is paying for a car and a bit of rent
>>52716432
>acquired cutie gf
we'll be the judge
>>52715460
Critics want to mention that they miss when hip hop was rappin’
Motherfucker, if you did, then Killer Mike'd be platinum
>>52716187
How old are you/ wnhat do you do?
She goes wild and so fast on toy with huge cock, working hard and performing so good with her moves, even her spit goes down in perfect moment when she slows down on moment to look at cam with meanest look I have ever seen on cams.
>>52716432
Hope you get terminal cancer desu, you don't deserve this happiness
really do think maggie thatcher did great things tbH lads
>tfw missed half the kpops show
>>52716499
29, work in a warehouse
So many brits itt
>>52716573
Do you just bank a few grand every year or something?
How much you on mate? Mad jelly.
I wish I had 27k saved
>>52716454
>>developed a unhealthy drinking habit
i know that feeling senpai
Literally don't know how iPhone's have such a large market share when my android phone can do hundreds of things an iPhone can't.
wish I lived under the Byzantine Empire tbqh
Constantinople nightlife would've been mad in 2015
>tfw can't go clubbing with concubines and eunuchs
>>52716351
>got a decent paying job
>no gf
>plenty of disposable income
>3 relatives died
Pretty depressing year la
>>52716469
>posting your gf on /brit/
Shiggidy as fuck desu
>>52716505
Because I took real action to improve my life? Working hard, putting myself out there and doing things I was previously too scared and apathetic to do? What makes you so deserving?
>>52716528
yes. only subhumans disagree
>>52716596
I live at home right now, saving for a house.
Earn around £18k a year depending on overtime and my bonus (£300 this year), only spend about £300 a month because no life
I'd give it all up for a gf desu
>>52716624
Marketing and design desu mate. And most of those android features are pretty redundant for the average pleb
>>52716636
she's a dog i bet
>>52716660
Well congrats to you lad and well done on the savings, bet it feels good to know you could lose a job for over two years and still live.
Good luck on your house lad. If I were you I'd buy to let and make moeny off that considering you can live at home and get them to pay off your mortgage then don't renew when you move out/ if you get a gf
Literally don't know how Windows have such a large market share when my Linux machine can do hundreds of things a PC can't.
Lads it's 1am and I feel I should fit one fap in today but I just feel too tired
>>52716540
simply lamoing@this looser
>>52716714
because it appeals to casual computer users and businesses have no choice but to use it now
>>52716624
Normies / It just werks
Prestige
>>52716689
Nah she's cute lad, objectively fuckable.
>>52716685
>most of those android features are pretty redundant for the average pleb
Well how does iPhone handle DLNA servers and streaming? You probably have to have some bullshit apple TV or some wank like that.
An android you can just start running a DLNA server, or an FTP server or any kind of server you want over your home network.
That's useful to normies because they can stream shit to their TV.
>>52716738
fuck off pasta nigger
>>52716715
Go at it like a mad man and see if you can finish a wank under five minutes
>>52716715
>fap
fuck off yank
Is there anymore people more boring than "tech specialists"
>>52716772
Normies don't know how to do anything you just said.
But normies can buy an Apple TV and plug it in (just), and then brag to their Android using friends how they can stream stuff from their iphone to TV with the touch of a button.
>>52716636
>Because I took real action to improve my life? Working hard, putting myself out there and doing things I was previously too scared and apathetic to do?
So you want a medal for not having anxiety/mental health issues? I'll inform the Queen at once.
>>52716712
Thought about getting a BTL but I really want my own place. Part of the reason I have no life is I don't want people finding out I still live at home, feels like being a manchild 2bh
>>52716712
not that anon, but I've always wondered
if you buy to let, then find someone to rent the house and they start paying you, you pay the mortgage, etc.
whats to stop the person renting the property to get in an arrangement with the bank to pay off the mortgage directly, i.e cutting you out all together?
>>52716714
What can Linux do that Windows can't do except for have substandard software for literally everything?
Open source is a pile of wank.
>>52716801
Fair shake of the sauce bottle
Doing an eat
>want to get a surplus Soviet tanker helmet
>none of them fit me
My head is 62 cm around lads, fuck my life.
>>52716833
Becauee you own the house, and that would be illegal.
Playing GTA Online and eating heroes
