upper middle class edition
firmino
>tfw you always Copy Link Location then remove any referral junk added on at the end so scummy little planktons don't get any money or data from your click
/mämmi/
dirty old town
DIRTY OLD TOWN
>tfw no crimbo gf
lads
who is this?
It's "bouquet"
Why do normies make SO MUCH NOISE in the kitchen? What are they always talking about?
Kyazzer on holiday
Kindle fires are literally £49 at Tesco right now lads.
I bought 3 of them for Christmas presents.
Meme idea: "Oi!" when somebody insults you
>>tfw you always Copy Link Location then remove any referral junk added on at the end so scummy little planktons don't get any money or data from your click
Maisie
https://twitter.com/beautyandtheboy/status/679682527796269056
>see girl has removed all photos of bf
>ask her if she split up with him
>she says no
>is now posting "single life" memes
what did she mean by this?
>>52557114
boaby
>>52557085
I DREAMED A DREAMMM BY THE OLEE CANAL
>>52557114
Anna Kendrick I think. I like this game
I'm a breast man but I rate arses
>>52557114
>isnt Lea Seydoux
who cares, irrelevant, invalid
Looking at the Kindle© Fire on Amazon™. How the fuck do they get away with this:
>Storage: 8 GB (4.5 GB available to user) or 16 GB (11.6 GB available to user) of internal storage, plus free, unlimited Cloud storage for all of your Amazon content
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPqtL1dtrlA
Banger
>>52557160
We literally do that already
fucking wop CUNTS
i hate em i do
>>52557181
I KISSED MY GIRL BY THE FACTORY WALL
>>52557181
>"Eurghh, fuck off you creep. Just because I just broke up with him doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you"
>>52557219
https://youtu.be/j0kJdrfzjAg?t=41
yeehaa
>>52557181
she's not interested in you and you should stop stalking her you creep
>>52557192
What's the problem?
>>52557077
This is just common sense
>>52556423
Rise of the Dragons by Morgan Rice
>>52557231
Did you get the bike sold?
>>52557192
>Bezos cucking the Limeys as usual
>>52557224
I was only being nosey lol she's a wee anorexic wrist slasher not too fussed
although tbf
>>52557245
she's literally 5 stone and her boyfriend was a ginger rat don't think she can b picky
>>52557201
used to listen to that all the time tbqh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuVi2ib-0qQ
>>52557247
>marketed as 8GB
>4.5GB available to the user
just woke up lads haha
I'll probably sleep through christmas at this rate haha
>Need to run into town and do some last minute crimbo shopping
>Got the shits
Why?
>>52557261
yeah 400 notes in my pocket
going to get my vespa on the road with it
>>52557245
>creep
fuck off yank
in all honesty I think Lea Seydoux would be attracted to my Paul Newman, cowboy lone ranger masculinity
>>52557201
HYEYEON
>>52557320
Nice lad buy some gear to celebrate
>>52557318
Two birds with one stone
>>52557339
HYOYEON
>>52557339
I literally can't tell any of these plastic gooks apart
we are soldiers
in jah army
>>52557325
kys
>>52557341
i'll be penniless in no time if I start that
>>52557342
Not sure I follow, lad.
>>52557377
Unironically spent 200 quid on pizzas weed and spray paint yesterday, fuming.
PULLED IN TO NAZARETH
WAS FEELIN BOUT HALF PAST DEAD
JUST LOOKIN FOR SOME PLACE
WHERE I COULD LAY MY HEAD
>tfw you want to wank more than once a day but don't have the testosterone for it
I can get extremely horny and have a great wank but then I'm spent for 2 or 3 days. Really frustrating; feel like I am being cucked by my own willy.
>>52557385
Shit in a jar and give it as a present
>>52557370
you don't look at enough gooks then
ISS will be visible in 11 minutes, won't be very bright though
>>52557430
>tfw can't wank without crushing feelings of tfwnogf
>tfw because of this erections aren't nearly as hard as they were a few years ago when I wasn't so bothered
>>52557430
I'm 28 and I wanked 6 times in a day last week
>>52557434
It's crimbo clothes for myself that I need.
Azusa
>>52557456
it's not even dark yet though
>>52557339
betsy
>>52557481
Feels bad mang. Only times I can get properly hard are morning wood or if I watch a tonne of lewd porn.
>>52557456
Lads, I think that the ISS should be painted in a reflective colour, like green or red, so that whenever you see it on Earth you know that it's the ISS
>>52557430
>tfw 3 minute refractory period
After a while it's just painful but it still performs.
>>52557504
Still don't understand these kpop memes.
>>52557503
hence why it'll be -1.3 instead of -3.5
you can see venus and mercury all the time during twilight
>>52557578
fair enough, just assumed it wouldn't be dark enough, only times I've ever seen it were at like 10PM or whatever
>>52557548
Watched some webms this morning on /gif/ of a guy whose gf would wank him off until he came, keep him erect and then keep going until he came again and again, completely draining him.
Pretty impressive really.
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
>>52557666
>school
OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
>tfw it's going to be 23ºC on Christmas here
might work up the courage to ask this asian qt from work to go for a christmas eve drink tomorrow since we both finish at the same time. she always speaks to me and watches what im doing so i reckon she likes me a little bit x
used to have a prowler who would stalk the neighbourhood women, police told us to shoot him first then fire the warning shot into the ceiling, I was just a baby at the time but my brother, lying or not, recalled that the off weeknight that my father was home the man was in the back yard again, heard dad say "enough of this blundering lunatic" and send us on our way, turning the lights off to pretend that nobody was home (dad travelled for work often; can only suppose the prowler knew this and that they were trying to bait him)
brothers cricket bat was never seen again, nor was the prowler, we got a new car and moved house, dad's a hard bastard - wouldnt put it past him, father used to look at my old dog with admiring eyes, as if they were soldiers together
>>52557651
Can you not do that?
>>52557666
Remember being the edgy one in the family and wanting this to be Christmas number one.
sometimes i wonder, is there a heaven for a g?
Not liking this "I'm an Australian and I'll post random shit and pine after some American girl" gimmick.
can you get a voice box transplant to sound like someone else?
>>52557805
When I die fuck it I wanna go to hell
It don't make sense going to heaven with the goodie goodies dressed in white I like black tims and black hoodies
>>52557812
>American
you're literally furniture to me lad
>you're literally furniture to me lad
What did he mean by this?
Found a fedora shop lads
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@47.6091061,-122.3365754,3a,75y,219.61h,71.07t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1s5K9vpP-8XqiotFMMhuZRMQ!2e0!3e2!7i13312!8i6656
more like ausFAILia
>>52557901
you know exactly what he meant you big fat yank cunt
>>52557901
He's gonna sit on you
lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYmynB1OeVM
>>52557901
only highly intellectual, extremely handsome lads will get it sorry
Why don't I have a gf? It's quite unfair I think.
>>52557937
bb no
pls no bully
pls
>>52557938
>>52557959
I NEED AN ADULT
have something in my eye
think it is an eyelash it hurts
>>52557162
In what context?
be nice to everyone lads!
New client just left; lovely chap but extremely boring and chatted dribble.
The oddest thing - when he cum, it was like he was being tasered and this went on for about 20 seconds; I secretly was sniggering, although I panicked a bit and thought 'I fuck, I've killed him!'. Turns out he's still alive
>just went the shop to buy christmas cards for the family
>young couple there
>trying on christmas hats and those reindeer things
>girl laughs
>they hold hands while waiting in line
>they're so madly in love
>tfw no gf
A 3 hour GFE dinner date with afters..... Yeah the afters was him keep trying to extend without spending more money, was very loud the hotel bar and kept talking about reverse bookings and AW.... It was SO obvious the only way I'd be with him was as a working girl, Hotel staff giving me really sympathetic looks....being so drunk he face planted into my boobs and then spent 30 mins trying to give me oral but actually was in my leg crease, really skinny older guy, prob 15 years older than he told me so late 60's... Nasty skinny stabby penis, covered with thickest condom I have and given oral..... Taxi kept delaying... escaped after nearly 5 hours of meeting.... You win some you lose some.... wants to meet me weekly.... I'll either be retiring, relocating or fully booked forever.....
>>52558078
>tfw you will never spend christmas with your beloved gf
>>52558078
>>52558047
>I fuck
>>52558078
time to post this poll again
http://strawpoll.me/6344493
http://strawpoll.me/6344493
http://strawpoll.me/6344493
considering creating an secret elitist group of handsome intellectuals of /brit/ - we with the power of the strings will dictate the memes and gimmicks and puppeteer the masses of 4chan to our benefit
contact my administration for enlistment
>>52557985
JUST
>>52557339
her name is betsy
>>52558162
Apparently I fart in my sleep
did lucy come
>>52558204
people actually unironically pay for sex lmao.
just woke up lads what's this hot new lucy meme
got a sore throat that could wake the gods
Up jumped the swagman, sprang into the billabong
'You'll never take me alive," said he
>>52558273
Did Lucy ever come
>>52558273
>lucy
>new
I want yanks to leave
well
here we are
cold out
Any idea why a VGA to HDMI cable wouldn't work lads?
Laptop hooks up fine to TV via the VGA to VGA but it wont do VGA to HDMI.
Laptop see's there's another screen attached but TV keeps saying no signal.
>not seen daylight for 4 days
>>52558327
irish weather
>>52558322
the lads
>>52558327
irish weather
eating leftovers
>>52558334
bit lazy of you tbqh
im on the block and im looking like a stack
maisie
>>52558329
hdmi is digital
vga is analogue
you'd need a converter of some kind
>>52558329
is the input setting on the tv right?
>>52558345
instasync wehn/???
They havent dispatched my chair and I ordered it at 11
>>52558372
I got one of these
>>52558390
Bucks doesn't have to be here to use her room
http://instasync.com/r/bucks
hehe lads
>>52558394
>ordering online 2 days before christmas
>expecting reliability
really mate?
mum just asked me if i'm finding it hard being home because i don't seem very happy
haha
>>52558390
and they don't stop coming
I WANT NORMIES TO LEAAAAAAAAVE
AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LEAVE, NORMIES, LEEEEEAAAAAAAAVEEEE
AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LEEAAAAAAAAVEEEEE
I'm still in my first week of doing this job but I guess I can start posting here now! My last client tonight was a very nice polite man, very tall! Wasn't attracted to him but quite enjoyed the sex and he was good company, he complimented me lots. Loving this job so far!
wish i had a 2d gf lads.
>>52558423
there's only 3 people though
>>52558426
I ordered express delivery
they can't be that busy its just a fucking chair company come on
>>52558425
that was really, really funny
>mfw Lucy came
>>52558425
hahaha spilling carmel on himself and everything
wew
>>>/b/658988136
>>52558078
>they're so madly in love
>>52558425
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmkmrtnOMkA
>>52558457
>>52558457
great post
>>52558469
its a bit early for a saturday desu
currently poorinating
>>52558415
yep, that won't work unless the VGA signal has been converted to digital, or vice versa
a cable doesn't do that
Far too witty and sarcastic to land a girl lads. Every time a serious romantic situation presents itself or a girl tries to make a serious moment where we talk about how we like each other or how much we talk to each other and all that, I make a joke and kill the mood. Done myself out of a gf at least twice because of it.
>>52558517
>for a saturday
stop confusing me
>Far too witty and sarcastic to land a girl lads. Every time a serious romantic situation presents itself or a girl tries to make a serious moment where we talk about how we like each other or how much we talk to each other and all that, I make a joke and kill the mood. Done myself out of a gf at least twice because of it.
>>52558537
normie please
>>52558537
you are a gay lmao
>Far too witty and sarcastic to land a girl lads. Every time a serious romantic situation presents itself or a girl tries to make a serious moment where we talk about how we like each other or how much we talk to each other and all that, I make a joke and kill the mood. Done myself out of a gf at least twice because of it.
>>52558425
>that fingernail
better be a girl
>>52558510
>Those crusty lips
unironically want someone to photoshoooop them out pls
>>52558571
I hope not tbqh. Gays are degenerate.
>Far too witty and sarcastic to land a girl lads. Every time a serious romantic situation presents itself or a girl tries to make a serious moment where we talk about how we like each other or how much we talk to each other and all that, I make a joke and kill the mood. Done myself out of a gf at least twice because of it.
>>52558594
I'm on it la, just for you
>>52558617
that is very mean. i am very against that.
>>52558648
I wish you were very against the wall in front of a firing squad, faggot.
>tfw my two best friends used to be a couple, and now they're both inviting me to things and i have to chose between them
couples ruin everything. only myself to blame for introducing and encouraging them i guess
>>52558729
Not sure how you have to choose between them unless they're both inviting you to things at the exact same time and even then, just invite them both to something you're doing, that way they're the awkward cunts.
>>52558711
same
>>52558729
kill one
![42-inch-16x9-vs-65-inch-16x9[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/0QPJSln.png "42-inch-16x9-vs-65-inch-16x9[1].png")
Just bought a 65 inch LED for my bedroom lads
Pic related is 42 inches vs 65 for reference
>>52557031
Agreed
>>52558536
Why do they sell those cables then?
gf just sent me this
>>52558773
so now 1080 looks even more stretched
good job
did a poo
>>52558802
Jelly
>>52558765
yeah they are that's what I mean, they both want to do something new years eve and they both want to go travelling in the summer
fucking annoying man
bros before hos?
>>52557736
Nah; once I pop I start to go soft pretty quickly and my mind loses all sexual desire completely.
Why do people say something when up by 100% when it's been doubled? Shouldn't 2 going to 4 be a 200% increase?
>tfw was fully in the friend zone with a group of girls and going out most weekends with them and having a good time then i actually fucked one of them and now its all awkward and they dont invite me out any more
fuck it, still think it was worth it 2bh
>>52558836
>american education
>>52558836
>>52558836
>american education
>>52558845
depends. was it a virginity shag or just another notch on the bedpost?
>>52558832
Bros before hos refers to not abandoning your mates in the hopes of getting fucked by a girl. If you're not banging either of them, then they're both bros, and you've got to use your initiative in deciding how to split your time. I usually go by who invited me first.
>>52558892
>>52558891
>>52558862
2 to 4 is an increase by 2 which is 100% but I've heard it go both ways I've written.
>>52558836
>american education
>>52558903
virginity shag (but she didnt know)
>>52558927
>american education
>>52558845
Maybe just phone up the one you shagged and see if she wants to meet up.
Also fuck off you fucking normalshit scum.
>>52558773
That's too big
Why would you need a 65 inch tv
Let alone in your bedroom ffs
>>52558927
its a 100% increase
its increasing by 100%
>>52558836
>american """"""education""""""
>>52558979
>65 inch tv
fuck off yank
>>52558927
>american education
>>52558922
i think technically the girl started discussing it with me first, but the guy provided solid plans first
either way i'm going to offend someone because it will be obvious from fb and snapchat who i'm with
>>52558952
She knew m8. They always know.
>>52558927
100% of 2 is 2
2+2=4
having a play
Business idea: food that is nutritionally complete but which doesn't taste like complete arse.
Why do we not have healthy food that tastes like sugary, buttery, salty, delicious snacks yet? Fucking hell.
>>52558952
then it was definitely worth it lad
if you didn't do it you might have gone through your life a wizard. that would never leave your conscience. you did the right thing.
>>52559053
CANDID
A
N
D
I
D
>>52559008
Just tell them who you're going with and make your reasoning clear. If you say that someone invited you out first, then there's not much the other can complain about because it becomes their fault for being too slow in asking you.
>>52558836
it is 100% in the first place, if it then goes to twice that it goes to 200%, meaning it has increased by 100%.
young thug
>late 20s
>never had a gf
>asshole parents obviously embarassed that their son is a weirdo loner
>can't do anything about it or even say anything to me
Great feel
>>52559057
People have tried this already, you need variety in your food or your gut gets lazy.
>>52559099
>asshole
>weirdo
fuck off yank
>>52558795
is that a cosplay of mary from silent hill 2? bit of a bizarre choice iah
>>52559092
can wank to it, did wank to it desu
>>52559099
sort it out m8
>>52558836
because it's being increased by 100% of it's original value, aka x + (x*(100%)) = 2x
>>52559107
I like to put Worcester sauce in my food occasionally to get variety
>>52559057
why don't they put MSG in broccoli or something desu
nothing new in the gf department
kent
e
n
t
>>52559093
in discussions with both of them i've already appeared keen and not mentioned that the the other is also talking about it with me
fuck probably my fault. just don't like mentioning the other persons name at all to the other because i know breakups are hard you know? it's gonna be awkward either way mate fuck
>>52559179
Spoiler that hog!
http://instasync.com/r/bucks
http://instasync.com/r/bucks
http://instasync.com/r/bucks
join
>>52559189
Only awkward if you make it awkward. Not your fault they broke up.
>>52559009
>tfw my first shag i just straight up admitted as we were starting that i'd never done it before
>tfw she said "neither have i"
fucking result lad. made things so much easier
>>52559137
wew
>>52559145
>supporting British producers
good lad
>>52559099
And I forgot the best part, which is that my idiot dad still talks about "the person I bring home" as if it's a given that I'll wind up getting married and becoming a normie. He's so in denial that his son is a friendless virgin loser because that might mean that he was bad parent and since he's great at everything that couldn't possibly be true.
Ego is a funny thing lads.
>>52559264
shit
you win this time
>>52559137
quite good
>>52558836
up by not up to
>>52559232
You need to FONT
>>52559264
Rorke
MY MATE DAVE
BABY BABY BAAAABYYYY
>>52559383
poo
>>52559415
WHAT
>>52559424
Happy b'day crikey m8 cunt, lad
>>52559479
loo
>>52559479
DESIGNATED
>>52559404
i was 22 tho :(
>>52559460
CuCK
>>52559501
>>52559514
Happy b'day, have a g'day
in this age of turmoil, i am starting to respect alex jones even more.
>overhear co-worker
>It's her birthday on friday
>"I didn't know your birthday was christmas"
>"Well duh, hence my name"
>She's called Carol
Oh, so I'm to assume that everyone called Carol was born christmas day? Fuck you Carol.
oneitis sent me a christmas card lads
think she loves me back
>>52559556
MARGARET
A
I
S
I
E
>>52559556
looks like a goblin
>>52559562
end yourself 2bh
>>52559596
>Oh, so I'm to assume that everyone called Carol was born christmas day? Fuck you Carol.
if you didn't tell her this, you're a beta cuck bitch
New cunt at work is a proper conspiracy theorist nut, fucking hilarious listening to her talk about how 9/11 was a hoax, that Satan is has taken over the bodies of terrorists, how she swears by homeopathy and other nonsense
Think I might ask her out for a few drinks after Christmas lads
i just farted
>>52559657
he's right though
>>52559669
I wouldn't mind, but our manager is called Holly, and I know her birthday is in April.
