think logical you idiot.

who has spare key? do you carry spare key? do you still have it?

check closet for signs of homeless habitation

everything ok? fap and go to sleep

>>690729418
No shit you idiot. No one has a key. I own the place.

Stick beads in your ass then kill yourself faggot

>>690729418
Sorry I didn't mean to get hostile but you called me an idiot.

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>>690729418

oh anddon't call the cops they can't do anything but make a report of what happened. tomorrow pretend to leave your house but stake out near your backdoor. give the intruder pic related

>>690728484
Lightbulbs don't last forever, moron.

>>690728484
Sounds like you have a gypsy pest problem. Grab the beads and lay them under a precariously placed cardboard box. Wait till gypobro scuttles out and catch him. Once captured, interrogate him about the location of the pot of gold

>>690729751
I don't know why I even asked 4chan in the first place. Everyone's retarded here. Fucking dumbass.

>>690729873
Ha ha you're hilarious.

Try /x/, they love this stuff

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>>690728484

don't worry bro i got your back

what about leaving your lights on outside?

>>690729931
Ask /x/ instead.

>>690728484
have the locks changed, you nigger.

Are you sure you're not in Someone else's house?

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Someone is purposefully messing with you, or you're dealing with homeless hobos.

That's what happens when you leave your doors unlocked. If they WERE locked, you'd be looking at least at signs of B&E.

You should also get some cameras installed. Also Fort Knox the fuck out of your bedroom so you can get some shuteye. You can solve the rest tomorrow.

>>690730537
I think I'm in my own house.. Pretty sure

>>690730675
not OP
but sounds great i agree

>>690730344
dubs speak truth

>>690730675
>"loaded gun"
>OP checks bullets
>doesn't recognize casings
>"test blanks" written on casing
>realizes intruders replaced his ammo box with duds
>OP is fukt

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ah yessssss
they are from Sub-Saharan Africa
located in the Kalahari Desert. I think i may know why they are leaving those there. Oh by the way there are hundreds of them in your house but you just dont know it.

grab a shotgun and fire two shots into the air

>>690730827
>get mad
>get up to find trespassers
>walk by mirror
>doesn't recognize face in mirror
>OP was the first thing replaced

It's the jews again...
Call the gestapo, or you're fucked.

>>690730675
I ordered some wide angle cameras off eBay and I'm going to install blue iris software. I coulda sworn I locked that back door. Definitely was unlocked when I got back which was weird. Cat is running around my house like no big deal, he'd be shy and would've hidden if there was a stranger wandering around while I was gone, at least I feel like he would. He was waiting for me on the couch like normal.

>>690731011
>checks other mirrors
>completely different looking face, even skintone
>in fit of madness opens lit closet door
>step into blinding room
>eyes adjust, see that he's stepped into his childhood home
>explores
>walk by mirror in hallway
>sees child self

Op you have ghosts.

Try to duck the hot ones

don't worry its just a guy living in your attic or between your walls. happens all the time. leave him some cookies or something.

>>690730866
oh also they place the beads and wait till you find one. they watch you from outside your house. in sub-Saharan Africa this means hey want your home. Good luck

>>690731183
>finds retro computer
>tries to find internet browser
>does not exist yet
>look in hand
>gun is now toygun
>try to find others
>filled with dread of being lost child
>find parents
>for some reason, cant see their faces
>nightmare

>>690731328
I'm ok with this story

>>690731071
If you made sure the lights were off last time, now make sure all your doors and windows are closed and locked. If these things keep happening without signs of forced entry, someone definitely has a copy of at least one of the locks.

Could be a realtor, a relative etc I don't really know and couldn't know about who has access to your place.

>>690731328
>fear-stricken, runs down hallway
>faceless, voiceless parents reach out in slow motion
>get to closet
>light under crack of door is off
>twist knob frantically as ghost parents approach
>door does not open

Make some triggers that get set off if someone walks past it or grease the floor on both entry points so if they slip and crash you will hear them.
If you have motion lights outside turn them on and hang little bells on the corners of your door so that when they open the door it will ring

>>690731293
>Op you have ghosts.

Or niggers

>>690731468
niggers don't leave you new shit, they take your existing shit

man im still drunk from last night please dont talkabout the scary heeby jeebies

>>690731432
>look up hallway
>parents nowhere to be seen
>dread slowly replaced with confusion
>re-explore home and make way to bedroom upstairs
>bedroom door ajar
>push open slowly
>appears lived-in
>come up to window sill
>town appears at peace but no occupants

The ghost that haunts your house wants you to have sex......... So he left you miniature anal beads

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Do some home alone 1 type shit nigger. only that you put a real shotgun infront of the door.

>>690731604
>hear rustling downstairs
>carefully peer out bedroom door
>can see shadows cast from kitchen sunlight
>noises seem to be from someone searching
>for you
>open window and climb onto ledge
>calculate the drop to see if safe
>look down off ledge
>you're on the edge of a skyscraper
>moonlight flickers off building windows
>breeze urges you to inch up to the edge

>>690731414
Let me repeat. NO ONE ELSE HAS A GOD DAMNED KEY.

My back door was unlocked, which is really weird. I always lock that shit. But just in case I went over every window and door making sure shit was secure. Everything is locked down.

These beads are weirding me the fuck out. They are heavy glass beads.

>>690731503
>niggers don't leave you new shit, they take your existing shit

Maybe the nigger was over the weight limit and discaded some shit loot from inventory so he could carry better loot

>>690728484
Put a stick in your back door at night. Search the house, attics, crawl spaces, garage cabinets, etc.

Maybe it's a ghost, anon.

>>690731436
don't do this, booby trapping your home is illegal at least in the US so even if they do happen to work you'll be in a world of shit with the law

>>690731869
>the toy gun in your hand is a bottle of $14 whiskey
>you reek of poor hygeine and self-loathing
>a voice behind you calls out to you by name
>indifferent, you barely turn your head to speaker
>anon asks you to come back
>wdyd?

>>690731901
take a close pic of them, do they have any inscriptions?

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Toot toot op
The spooky fucks are here

>>690731901

I'm thinking you might have a shitty lock on the door that can be opened with a pocket knife or a piece of wire. In any case prob some teens trying to find some booze from your house and they dropped the beads...

>>690732024
I don't have an attic or any of that. But now that you mention it I have been hearing strange noises about the back of my house the past week, but always during rainstorms. I thought it was because of wind pressure or something. I'm starting to worry myself. Could have been a person, idk.

Change the locks.

Seriously.

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I just noticed a hole in my closet. That was definitely not there yesterday.

>>690732393
change the locks, keep your gun handy, install the security system and make sure all your windows are secure. Op stop being a pussy and defend your home and your piece of mind, it's not like it's some nigger doing some voodoo bullshit, it's most likely some homeless guy who is trying to secretly live in your house

>>690732668

why is there a galaxy behind the hole?

does it feel cold and tingly if you put your finger in there?

>>690732733
"peace of mind" god damn auto correct

>>690732393

Well think of it this way... atleast if you get killed by a ghost or you get your anal probed by aliens or your ass gets raped by a monster that looks like a wookie from starwars, then you can die happy knowing the mystery was solved and culprit wasn't a nigger.

>>690732668
awesome now when you catch them you can get them for property damage on top of breaking and entering

>>690732796
Give me a piece of that mind anon

>>690732793
probably isolation between the wall you retard.

>>690732668
that's kinda spooky

>>690732668
Looks like a fist

My car just shot up, growled and went off hiding somewhere. Okay there is definitely someone in my house he doesn't just do that

>>690732977
Checked

>>690732977
>isolation
>calls someone else retard

>>690733077
CAT****

THERES DEFINITELY SOMEOBE IN MY HOUSE HOLD UP

>>690732668
Looks like flesh.

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>>690733145
It's what i we call it in my country i don't go out of my way to search what it means in english just for you nigger.

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>>690733077

maybe it's the dog man

If you have long enough hair you could tape a strand of it between the door and the wall. This way you'll know the door was opened and they most likely won't know they triggered it. Don't use a bunch of tape, just cut a little bit of tape off that'll hold the hair and do it above the door so they won't see it. Make sure you do tape it on both ends on the door and the wall.

t. Professional hitman/spy

>>690733077
Your cat is an grey tabby. Notorious for ghost interpreter.

>>690728484
Smoke some pot op. That will help with your paranoia

>>690733077
Shit call the mechanic

>>690733077
Cats are faggots they tend to do retarded shit

>>690729686
Cosign. It's the only way to be sure.

>>690732061
Never buy drugs from the weird dude in the pub again

>>690733232
All hail dunkelheit

>>690733180
get em op make us proud

>>690733180
Post pics if you kill it

>>690733305
rekt'm

>>690733180
You are high dude, that or you are bored as fuck

>>690733338
So close m8

>>690733180
send us a pic of the situation after its handled

>>690733077
if you think there is somebody in your house call the police and watch the exits to your house, yell out that you've called the police I guarantee they won't want to stick around knowing cops are on the way

>>690733464

>>690732668
Yo u fuckn got drunk and punched the wall.

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>>690732668
>Best guess for this image: body jewelry
>body jewelry

post pics of the necklace lad

>>690733180
be safe OP

>>690729873
Gypsies don't have gold, those are leprechauns, gypsies are metal workers. They can make you a sword?

>>690733071
No, it looks like a hole.

Put a damn deadbolt on the doors/windows.

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>>690733464
or they come bursting in to kill op since they have little time left

If trips, op fires a warning shot without warning.

>>690733612
also fix your pots or something? Sell you pot? I forget

>>690728484
Yes idiot, call the cops.

>>690733180
is OP dead?

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mfw it's Len the Butcher

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OP died. The end.

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>>690733659
if op isn't a total pussy he'll shoot them if they try that...or op dies to some homeless nigger could go either way

>>690733577
Or, it's a hole in the wall you tard. We've already established this.

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>>690733783
imagine him chasing you up your staircase at 3:00 in the morning

>>690733849
i think it might be a meteorite.

>>690733663
Reroll

OP here the intruder is gay and now hed fucking me what do

>>690733725
hope not he needs to deliver

>>690733783
I remember that thread like yesterday. OP took pics and nobody knew if it were a mask or not.

>>690733849
I can see it's a hole in the wall m9, I'm just saying that google thinks it's jewellery, and there is random jewellery suddenly in his house

>>690733914
Good point. It's probably a meteorite.

Random hobo now reading this thread, post pics of OP's mutilated body pl0x

>>690733725

no he is just getting his anal probed by Xenu and the scientologist neighbours, then they all go back to alpha centauri...

>>690734056
If ops not careful, he'll get space AIDS

OP

POLICE ON WAY

>>690730537
underrated post

>>690734206
Did you even try to murder it?

>>690734256
The cat?

OP you good?

OP POSTING POLICE ON WAY SOMEONE IN HOUSE

>>690733894
that's from a vidya tho right. in all ssrsness

>>690734446
HIDING

>>690734446
Pics

>>690734446
oooooooooooooo shiet

>>690734486
Nope. Old 4chan story.

>>690734446
Did you hear anything? What finally convinced you? Pics if possiable

>>690734446
fucking find them and go full 'merica on them! i'm talking a full mag then reload and put another full mag into them for good measure

Sneak up on that fag and take some pics

>>690734446
Go out there and take pics of the intruder!

Op prob made all this up.

>>690734446
Of course there is silly, he's there to play with you.

>>690734548
ya iknow, but he was using in-game pictures right.

>>690734011
So OP is getting his virgin asshole railed by a flea market jewelry peddler that likes to knock jewelry shaped holes into walls? You've broken the investigation wide open, good job anon.

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>>690734486

>>690732061
i cri anon, you fucking made me cri Y?

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>>690734665

>>690734011
anon everything becomes body jewelry on google image search

>>690734729
ya i know bro. look at the photos. they're fuckin vidya-quality lighting & graphics

>>690734353
Well I guess.

But the nigger in your house.

>>690734686
>>690734792

Yeah that sounds about right. Now I don't have to write my report

>>690734738
thats what my dreams are made of.

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Where's OP

>>690734446
Get out there and defend your property faggot. Hit him with your man purse

>>690728484

It's called being house-cucked. Some people dig it.

>>690734534
>>690735047
I agree with anon, quit being such a bitch and defend your house! put that gun to use!

maybe it's just an indian who came to poo in your loo

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>>690734894

>>690734686
laughed at spat phlegm all over my keyboard, monitor and desk fan ty anon

>>690735226
"Poo in your loo"

>>690734446
can you like, not be a faggot, and tell us an update, you jewnigg

>>690735226
That can't be. You are well aware of the fact that they have designated shitting areas.

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>>690733180
>Mfw OP is hiding but has a gun.

>>690735455
Well wait....what if OP's house actually IS a designated shitting area for Indians?

you have a gun? why haven't you double tapped the nigger and tea bagged his corpse yet?

>>690728484
Go ask >>>/x/ they have the best answers for these kinds of things.

POLICE ARE HERE I HEAR THEM

THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE WALKING AROUND

EXIT

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Why call the cops?
Then there's more victims.

>>690735610
USE YOUR FUCKING GUN YOU NIGGER.

>>690735610
op i'm hoping that you die at this point, why haven't you manned up and shot the intruder yet?

>>690735610
It's literally just your cat


Or it's a guy in a clown suit that wants to have fun.

>>690735610
are you telling us to exit? are you exiting? i'm confused
[gets up, sits back down, halfway stands back up]

>>690735226
britbong detected

>>690735610
OSHI

>>690735741
Top kek

>>690735610
>>690735741
op is exiting life the nigger in his house killed him and is likely raping his body

>>690735610
tell the cop about the jewelry shaped hole in your wall...tell him one of the 4chan Hardy Boys linked it to the necklace. Probably a reward for such debauchery.
???
Profit!

OH FUCK OH FUCK THERE WAS SOME YELLING THEN A FEW GUNSHOTS
I CAN STILL HEAR POLICE YELLING SO I THINK THE POLICE SHOOT
IM STILL HIDING ILL TRY GET PIC

>>690735610
Fire off a few rounds so the police know you're there

If trips, op shoots bullet at feet of cops.

>>690736138
Kek

>>690731071
Cat was probably asleep

>>690736138
You fucking better, OP.

You owe us dead people pictures.

>>690736188
So close

>>690736138
>police doing your job for you
>didn't shoot the intruder yourself

>>690736138
Run out there and teabag the nigger faggot!

Alzheimers is a wonderful thing.

Go all MLG on that nigger, OP.

>>690736138
KEK THIS WASN'T OP BY THE WAY
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND YOU FAGS WILL BELIEVE IT

>>690732027
The Home Alone kid did it four times and got off scott free though.

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>>690729592
>>690728484
change your fucking locks, and get a driveway alarm for $20 on amazon

driveway alarm beeps loud as fuck when someone trips the sensor, it will alert you to if someone is around your house or property.

They are battery powered and wireless, work up to 100 yards or more. Batteries usually last about a year.

They are a great home security tool. Also, I see you already have a gun so you're doing good there.

What handgun btw?

>>690736460
KEK, I'LL HACK OFF YOUR ARMS AND FUCK YOUR DEAD ASS!!!!

>>690736180
if you want the cops to really take care of the intruder, you have to give them reason to start shooting.

hurry up and just fire some wayward shots safely out the window

>>690736474
Homo Loan was A Minor.

HEY OP! Did you remember to hide the dope and smash your hard drive so the cops can't see your CP?

op is dead. abandon thread

>>690732977
>My house is fully isolated hurr hurr

We need some fucking photos op.

>>690736556
I think there were already child labor laws back then so he couldn't of been a miner.

>>690728484
post different pic of same beads so we know its OP

Leave some food out for it like a nice plate of warm cookies and record it

>>690731071
Cat did it.

>>690733675
They fix your pot and take your dog, plus any other valuables they can sneak out.

>>690736460
if that wasn't OP, then chances are OP is dead

He should make a thread on x so it lasts longer very interesting

>>690736460
Can you tell me how much of that was you? What was the last actual post by OP?

OP HERE, POLIVE ARE OUTSIDE WHY THE FUCK WONT THEY JUST COME IN

>>690736556
But Juvie hall or something

>>690737347
beads or gtfo

OP is a fag everyone, I'm outta this shitty joint.

>>690737432
IM HIDING IN A CLOSET, BEADS ARE SAT ON MY BED, FUCK MOVING

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>>690737347
beads or you aren't op

>>690737525
They're gonna think you're the guy and shoot you.

>>690731901
Set up cameras op

OP HERE. IVE GOT THE JEWELRY GYPSY'S COCK IN MY MOUT...

>>690737525
fuck you faggot, post pic of your gun or beads or i don't trust its OP

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>>690728484
Set cameras up in your house.

>>690733242
I saw that in a James Bond film but he used saliva to stick it. You already knew that though.

>>690737579
That's the plan captain obvious. Shut up and let him die.

>>690728484
Nigger

Op actually reposted this on /x/

>>690729714
Your mom saw you write it mand made you abolognese

>>690730866
Wat

>op has phone on ringer
>Cops call back phone
>Ops phone rings
>Op here's someone
>Knock on door
>Its me goku

>>690737877
Link also nice dubs

>>690737347
`Pics man, we want pics

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>>690730866
How comes i don'ts look like dats

>>690737991
>>>/x/17832986

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tell my teacher i lover her xxxx

>>>/x/17832986

>>690728484
Amazing how all these 4chan faggots always go on the Internet, take a pic, write a story asking for advice on what to do.

Fake faggot

>>690731901
one of us might be in there, your fucked now by posting for help on b

>>690738230
ye, i was wondering how does this always happen to 4chan faggots cuz i saw a bunch a threads like this over the years

>>690732668
meat

>>690734729
Why does a butcher need a rolling pin though?

>>690733232
that chick can toot my horn if she wants

>>690728484
so did OP die?
i saw he went to /x/ to cry for more help
did the cops find him crying with his gun in the cupboard?
did he die yet?

>>690736556
Are you sure he wasn't Fmaj7?

>>690733233
WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!!

OP's just a shitty drunk. It's okay, when I first started drinking, I did shit that I never remembered doing too.

>Wake up one morning
>Back door wide open
>Every cup in the house is neatly stacked in a perfect pyramid

There's no Casper or person after you OP. You're just super fucking paranoid. Houses make noises. The house I used to live in made really fucking creepy noises and it took me a while to get used to it. It had wooden floors and was old so I'd always hear a cracking sound or what sounded like footsteps.

Either that or OP is just really bored.

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>>690735694
Example

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>>690738493
>over the years