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Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 4347. page


The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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>install tinder
>get some matches, mostly selective girls
>match 103 falls
>thing go smooth, but we don't talk a lot
>she asks me over to sleep at her place, but no sex
>Its 1 in the night, I'm hesitating, and it's 1 April too
>Go anyway, got nothing to lose.
>Get in my car and drive to her city about 10 minutes away.
>Park the car and walk to her dorm
>I see a sweet looking brunette, about 160cm and about 50kg with blue eyes in a bathrobe (Im 180)
>I greet her with a hug and I notice she smells a little of alcohol , but she isn't acting drunk, she was out with some friends
>We get to her dorm and talk a little, It's a little awkward


CONT
37 posts and 11 images submitted.
>>
>I get on her bed, which literary fills half of the room and she joins me
>We start to make out and things feel normal and smooth
>I lick her out and she rewards me with a sweet tight blowjob with her tiny mouth
>I fully undress her and I squeeze her little B cup tits
>I pull out a condom and wear it. I'm ready for insertion
>I totally fill where whole cunt with my 18cm dick and she loves it
>Do all kinds of positions
>She ask me if I can go deeper
>I cant, I hit the bottom
>She is moaning loudly and she is cumming, and we finish in the missionary position while she is still shaking and cumming, the shaking continues for every 15 sec and 4 minutes long
>this shit normal ?
>She says she loves sex and likes to do it everyday
>futurewaifufound
>fast forward 3 weeks
>have few similar dates

CONT
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OP That clip is amazing.

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What does SS stand for?
Also SS thread.
130 posts and 79 images submitted.
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interested BUMP
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>>611721396
Straight shotacon
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Schutzstaffel

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Celeb Fuck Thread.

Post celebs you'd fuck, describe how you'd fuck them.
150 posts and 83 images submitted.
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dubs fuck thread
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I want to cum on Hayley Williams' face.

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God tier YLYL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X1VIyZe3Ws
35 posts and 16 images submitted.
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Yeah bitches
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>>611723879
wtf am I looking at?
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>>611724447
stupid russians

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This is our new meme 4chan. use it always to express greatness
19 posts and 10 images submitted.
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BEHOLD! THE BIRTH OF A MEME! (jk nobodys gonna click on in)
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Whats idea of this meme? Are you from reddit?
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>>611715440

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OFFICIAL NIGGER OWNER'S MANUAL
>Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.

You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
18 posts and 8 images submitted.
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CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER

Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat.
>>
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.

Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
>>
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.

Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

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Alpha stories thread. Post your alpha experiences. I'll start

>be me, 16-17
>fat beta all my life. Never given any attention from girls
>recently lost weight and took up a volunteer position for a Youth Writers Camp for the summer
>pretentious wannabe authors everywhere
>I'm the oldest one who's still youth. Everyone else is either an adult coordinator or an 12-13 year old kid.
>some of these 12 year olds have plump asses and big tits.
>fast forward half a week
>eating the shitty bag lunches they gave us I'm the massive lunch room
>minding my own business
>"h..hey.."
>I look up.
>an 8/10 cutie pie with developed breasts and a spankable ass is standing there with her nerdy looking mousy friend.
>"can we sit here?"
68 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>>611707684
Cont

>beta mode uninstalling.
>alpha mode initiated
>"you can sit wherever you like."
>she swoons
>they sit down and we talk normally. She's spilling her spaghetti everywhere, and I'm enjoying it.
>they are both way too into me, often following me around as I do my volunteer duties.
>gets to the point where it seems like she's about to ask me out.
>one day her and her friend and I were standing in the hallway.
>they're talking bullshit and I'm too tall/old to give a shit.
>nodding and pretending to care.
>then she says "Uhg I have to go pee so bad"
>"bathrooms at the end of the hall" I say
>she refuses to go to the washroom, because she saw some other greasy dude walk that way.
>"he'll rape me" she says.
>aryoufuckingserious.jpg
>I know for a fact that he is a decent gentleman. Hearing this jailbait bitch accuse another decent guy of conspiring to rape her just pissed me off.
>without thinking I pick up jailbait and toss her over my now-muscular shoulder.
>she's giggling as she squirms in skim-tight booty shorts.
>her 12 year old ass is right next to my face
>I walk the entire walkway and kick open the woman's bathroom door.
>walk completely inside with her on my shoulder
>set her down gently on the bathroom counter
>we look at each other in the eyes and I say "there"
>walk out of washroom
>she's addicted to me for the rest of the month.
>her mousy friend lets me know that she basically came when I did that.
>felt good.
>realize if I even tried to pull off a stunt like that before, jailbait would have screamed rape and freaked the fuck out
>realize alphas can get away with anything
>alpha as fuck

Never did bang her
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Continue.
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>>611707684
so unsanitary

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Loli ?
52 posts and 38 images submitted.
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>>611701233

I'm back, You guys are such ass holes. My mom and aunt saw everything and now it's super awkward.
146 posts and 25 images submitted.
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Than's for ruining everything for me.
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>>611692249

Did they accept to fuck you in the ass ?
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Bull fucking shit you fucker I saved every one of those pics.

So are you getting closer to fucking your Aunt or what?

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ITT we discuss what needs to be implemented to 4chan in the near future
169 posts and 57 images submitted.
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>>611696035
a board for religion and it shall be called /rel/
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>>611696593
>rel
>>
>>611696035
IDs on every board.

Bow down to your herm master race.
70 posts and 62 images submitted.
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shut up weird faggot
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>>611695575
Bend over.
>>
Wanna go for a swim?

new hentai encouragement/ERP thread!

come in, post pics, chat, or just fap as you want
181 posts and 146 images submitted.
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>>
>>611675299
>>
>>611675643

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Omegle trolling thread, pt. 2

1. Go to omegle.com
2. Add 'tumblr' to your interests
3. Start your conversations with "Hi, my name is Dan"
4. Enjoy tumblrtards getting butthurt about being connected to the 'same' person over and over

Post best results here

Let's do this
261 posts and 134 images submitted.
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>>611675986
bump
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it died, let it die

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Does /b/ think that the holocaust happened?
289 posts and 56 images submitted.
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>>611684229
<Look closely.
>>
Sure, but only 2-4 million jews were killed
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why wouldnt it have happened?

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Ask a guy who found a sex tape of his slut little sister anything

>pic related: mfw I found that shit
21 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>611691145
Did you enjoy it m8?
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>>611691272
POST IT
>>
>>611691145
Post it.

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