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>>47353701
>>47353758
>>47353783
>>47353820
I miss when we could go a half a day without a CYOA thread.
>>47354179
why?
>>47354179
These threads are the only good thing left on this board, you moron.
>>47354179
These threads are the only thing keeping me from doing the suicide.
Same anon from >>47353178. Been thinking of some perks for my Energy cyoa and thought of adding a HUD to the list of perks. Will work something like this:
>Grants specific and accurate knowledge on how much energy you have, how much you will gain from a source, and how much you will spend with your powers.
>Grants several other benefits based on your energy source.
>Food, for instance, gives you a list of many recipes and saves others you may read, as well as knowledge of locations of various food sources.
>By comparison, Solar will grant you a clock detailing the time, time zone, and how long the sun is expected to be out.
Is this a good idea? Or is this too much for the cyoa?
>tfw want to post OC
>but Bliss will finish his soon
feels bad
>>47354289
You've been teasing us with that cyoa for so long now I'd even accept (but wouldn't pick) watching midget scat porn as an energy source.
But yes, the HUD sounds fun.
>>47353820
>>47353831
Have to say I wasn't expeting this to get dark. Neat! Obviously we're ignoring the fellow in the last page.
>Past Life
Aubin
>Abilities
Intelligence 3
Fast Adaptation 4
Halo Effect 5
Independent Action 6
Danger Sense 7
Charisma 9
Stealth 10
>Vessel
A Necklace
>Master
Anna Beck
>The World
Cyberpunk
I focused on "soft" power for my abilities, choosing to predict, prevent, and avoid situations that could erupt into violence. My goal is to assist Anna with her goals and keep her safe from the people in this world that would use her technological prowess to cement their position. My past experience with influencing politics can come in handy but only if Anna intends for her influence to blossom to that scale. Regardless of whether she's the spark of hope for a true rebellion or simply wants to be left to her own devices two things are certain. One, I will always be with her and will keep her safe. Two, she will wear her fucking hoodie on her goddamn shoulders or I swear to god
>>47353831
Prey(is that a pun?)is a reference to something in the real world, isn't it?
>>47354364
I'll try to get it up by this thread or the next, but it will have to be in pdf form. I have no idea how to use paint and this cyoa is taking up several pages as it is.
And don't worry, nothing lewd in it. So no midget scat porn.
>>47354446
>CYOA about alternate power sources
>don't worry, nothing lewd in it
I feel like this is a missed opportunity, but hey it's your adventure. Can't always pander to the pervets, I understand.
>>47354446
>And don't worry, nothing lewd in it.
You might not see it, but someone else will.
>>47354474
Not the creator, but what are you thinking?
>sex
>sexual fluids
>following orders
>pleasing others
>siring/birthing offspring
>>47354581
Mostly just sex in general, though the act specifically is the one that makes more sense as a power generation source. Hell you could even go the succubus route and have it be draining energy from the other people, either a generic "life force" or as a specialized form of "social" energy generation from the CYOA.
>>47353701
>Valkyrie
>Fast Adaptations
>Magic Spark
>Communication
>Teleport
>Danger Sense
>Magic Detection
>Coin
>Kiri
>Devastation
Be magical bodyguard and assistant for Kiri as she inspires the people and unites the world so they can rebuild from this disaster!
Here it is, as promised. Kingdom (Crusher) Diplomacy.
Feedback is highly appreciated.
>>47354438
Prey is Earth, yes."World-spanning terrorist organization" is America, but that much is obvious.
>>47354709
And here I was about to finish the addition for myYandere cyoa
btw which is your favorite? Which would you rather be, which most corresponds with your fetish, which would you rather have as a girlfriend?
Just curious.
Guess I better close Photoshop and get ready to erect a building in my pants.
See you in an hour.
Rolled 4, 8 = 12 (2d20)
>>47354709
Do the Diplomacy/Hostilities options cost a benefit or are they the equivalent of drawbacks in other adventures? Also do you get that kingdom's bonus as your +1/+2 or can you pick any? Either way, rolling a kingdom that I am an Ambassador to. Second roll will determine my ambassadorship if the first one rolls the kingdom I was planning to be a member of.
I do like how there's a lot of options and the benefits of them are all fairly vague. Good for storytelling and you can really set up a wide variety of characters with this.
>>47354814
>what are timezones
>Bliss literally posted OC in the thread three posts behind you
open your mind
>>47354406
I think we have pretty similar style, but still manage to choose totally different things. Pretty cool. >>47354689
>>47354776
Honestly, monopolizing is my favourite. Is it really wrong to be so perfectly matched with eachother that more intoxicating than drugs?
Worshipping however is something that greatly appeals to my fetish. A mix of the two would be excellent.
>>47354861
>Do the Diplomacy/Hostilities options cost a benefit or are they the equivalent of drawbacks in other adventures?
They are free to choose. They are like drawbacks.
>Also do you get that kingdom's bonus as your +1/+2 or can you pick any?
You only get a kingdom bonus when you are a Dual Citizen, Citizen or Official.
And thank you.
>>47354709
Interesting.
I would love it if you posted the images you used for this.
>>47354997
>over 60 images
I uh, am happy to provide you with any specific image. Dumping them all would take me forever.
>>47354709
I like the stat system but what does a 5 practically signify, in wealth for example? Can we ever reach truly high positions, second only to the King or Queen of a kingdom?
>>47354709
>>47354776
Could you two link to Kingdom Crusher and Yandere? Or post them if they weren't in a recent thread?
>>47354921
>You only get a kingdom bonus when you are a Dual Citizen, Citizen or Official.
Right so when it says "Options add 1 point to an aspect of Power." I can choose any I want? That was my original reading but I just wanted to make sure.
Also blehhh rolled Ell. This Diplomat business is starting to seem like a bum job. Definitely going to build an Independant background after this.
>>47354709
How accepted ishomosexuality/lesbianismin this world? Is there any kingdom, or multiple kingdoms, I should avoid at all costs?
>>47355063
You could just roll independant and play as an openly Lesbian queen. I don't think it would be that much of an issue if you also magecraft desu.
>>47355040
Here's Kingdom Diplomacy.
>>47355040
>I can choose any I want?
Yup, any. And yeah, being an Ambassador means you have to kiss ass at times. With Ell that is certainly a shit job.
>>47355063
Rahai is misogynistic. But otherwise it's just a part of life. Especially in Eden.
However, sometimes you need to make blood heirs, so careful with that.
>>47354709
Description for Eden has a typo. "A lot of credit is due to the Queen, whose wisdom and diplomatic skills and are unrivaled." Extra "And" in there.
>>47355018
You could put them on Mega but I'm really just looking for the images labeled: Custom Outfit, Festivals, The Ouroboros, Nocturne, Magecraft, The Lotus.
>>47354219
funny
>>47355154
Thank you. I usually read through them a couple of times but a few can slip past me.
>>47355164
I'll upload them here.
>>47355164
>>47355202
>>47355138
What would you suggest for people seeking personal power?
I also noticed that most warrior options revolved around being a commander of a (small) army. Are superhumanly strong warriors not a thing in this world, think musou style elite units?
>>47354709
Great stuff. The only thing I'm missing is some expanding on our family seeing as how many benefits establish some sort of familial background, but I'm guessing that's up to our imagination.
>>47354709
Independent seems kinda stiffed. Their neutrality and independence cannot be understated, it's true, but that's mostly fluff. The main limiting factor is how many kingdoms tax your Treasury and the options to get more points are (understandably) very limited. It just seem hard to buy more than one reward a lot of the time.
Not sure if this is anything you want to change, but it's just a small complaint from me.
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>47354776
>>47354709
I hope I did this right. Making a build as I read it.
>Combat 1 -1 = 0
>Knowledge 2 -1 = 1
>Resources 5 +1 = 5
>Treasury 5 -1 = 4
>Property 3 +1 (Ambassador) = 4
>Citizenship
>Advisor
>Baron
>Diplomacy
>Business
>Merchant
>Noble
>Craftmanship
I honestly had too many
>Diplomacy - Ambassador
(You should probably note that there are 20 kingdoms, and how rolling works)
If roll = the kingdom I picked, round down.
6 Benefits, Kingdom bonus and tax
I don't understand taxes: I assume they remove one point of said stat?
>Roza
Honestly, I can barely read it.
I can't get a reward, or what? Do they cost Power, or reward it? Assuming I can get it, and it costs Power:
>Estate
So uh... apparently I'm a high-standing citizen of this city.
And I'm really weak, physically, but I have a bunch of shit to earn money from.
>>47354921>monopolizing is my favourite
All of my yes.
I wrote Monopolizing, knowing already that I would choose to become that one.>he prefers worshipping
oh...
I have no words
i mean, it's not like I'd ever say no, but still... I don't want to be beaten, or to feel worthless.You said you wanted to do a CYOA together. I have plenty of ideas, but I'd prefer to do the ones I've already written some for myself.
I know you mentioned Superheroes
>>47354709
Please, PLEASE, can all CYOA creators who use symbols for stats also say what those stats are when using the symbols later in the CYOA?
It may seem obvious that sword = combat and coin = treasure, but even after reading the intro, by the time I've finished reading and picking origin and benefits, I'm not going the remember the difference between book and scroll.
There's room to say "2 points of treasure" or "1 point of treasure, 1 point of resources" after bonus/tax/cost.
I would also use more headings: one for Aspects of Power above the paragraph explaining them, one above the origin paragraph.
I would also suggest a line of text under the Benefits heading reminding the player how many they get to choose (yes, even though it's just the previous part where it says that).
It's not clear which options are mutually exclusive. Can I be Baron and Merchant? Baron and Noble? Can I be Ambassador to one country and At War with another (or the same)? Can I be Ambassador and Diplomat? If so, should I roll two kingdoms or use the same one?
The fact that aspects can't go below 0/above 5 should be mentioned earlier. I shouldn't think I'm minmaxing them discover I'm wasting points at the end.
Personally I would allow stats over 5. Why not?
Dual Citizenship should say "Bonuses and Taxes" (plural).
Some of the rewards don't seem very good. I pay two aspects, permanently reducing my magical ability and wealth, for a single magic outfit with unspecified magical capabilities? Even getting both rewards for paying cost once seems poor value.
Do Ambassadors and Spies need to pay tax+cost for rewards like independent or just cost? Why don't Diplomats get to buy rewards? I would let all three get rewards for just cost, and consider even allowing At War to buy rewards (spoils) for tax+cost (or bonus+cost, to be an inversion of independents).
Why do origins give set arrays instead of allowing you to assign points freely? That would make the math easier for costs.
>>47355063
>homosexuality/lesbianism
>I should avoid at all costs?
Seriously, you're that much of a fucking homophobe that you would avoid, "at all costs", somewhere where homosexuality and lesbianism are merely "accepted"? Fuck you!
>>47355310
So I need to be the Ambassador of Roza, to Ecclesia
I think we can make this work: Obviously I can't hope to seduce the Queen, but I can't imagine they can grow much in the Frostlands.
Their soldiers for our food seems a fair trade.
>>47355245
You can become very strong individually, but most of the peak abilities and items are secrets only passed down in kingdoms (such as weaponry from Solsteir and Armour from Caer), or require you to join their faction (Shadow Order).
I'd say that strength is attainable, but numbers always outweigh the individual. That cannot be changed.
>>47355278
Thank you. It's true that I've put emphasis on yourself, rather than your family. But yeah, I guess you should let imagination fill up the gaps.
>>47355296
I purposely made independent stiffed. Normally, you are a free individual with nobody to govern you or tax you. If you wish for rewards then there must be an added penalty. I don't know if I will buff them yet though.
>>47355310
>I don't understand taxes: I assume they remove one point of said stat?
Yeah, that's what tax does. It is stated in the Rules by the way.
>Honestly, I can barely read it.
Is it that bad? Darn, I found it to be doable.
>I can't get a reward, or what? Do they cost Power, or reward it? Assuming I can get it, and it costs Power:
They cost power, like everything.
And worshipping isn't about beating, it's about loving!I'll think about it. Just finished this after all, and I am spent.
Cont.
>>47354709
Do I get to choose my gender, or is it locked to my real one?Can my double identity be a different gender to me?
>>47355544
Why would you believe you aren't still a guy?
>>47355325
It's just 5 icons anon. This is a minor issue.
A heading for aspect of power is a bit redundant. Origin though, perhaps it needs one but I thought it was self-explanatory from the intro.
>It's not clear which options are mutually exclusive. Can I be Baron and Merchant? Baron and Noble?
You can mix any type of benefit.
>Can I be Ambassador to one country and At War with another (or the same)? Can I be Ambassador and Diplomat? If so, should I roll two kingdoms or use the same one?
You may only choose 1 role, but I agree that it should be clarified. Maybe I'll make it cost 1 benefit too. Keep in mind this is an early release.
Yeah I guess I'll release the cap on 5. Why not? I won't spell out what it means though.
Certain rewards aren't spelled out in value, since values are objective sometimes, but you can assume that the cost of that outfit is equal to what you invest.
Yeah the whole Diplomacy/Hostilities section was something I added in on a late stage. It needs a lot of fine-tuning, so I will consider your comment.
I gave arrays instead of free points to avoid making costs and taxes a redundant system. Free min-maxing is also something I do not fully agree with, it's fine within limits, of course.
Thank you very much for your suggestions and pointed errors.
>>47355544
You're a fictional character.And double identity can use magic to alter your appearance even genderwise.
>>47355701
Because it presents me as being an individual from that world with his/her own life, not the real me transported there.
>>47355727Perfect xD
>>47355727
Last requested image.
>>47355750
Oh, so you're one of those guys who can't have fun with their imagination if they can't also be a girl.
You should really ask your doctor for some hormones when your disease is this bad.
>>47355727
Yo, so like. What happens if someone rolls Miragus for Diplomat? Are they just autokilled by assassins or do they just have the worst possible assignment a diplomat could get?
Here it is. My first cyoa. The Energy cyoa. Feel free to suggest balancing issues and give criticism.
>>47355830
>wishful thinking
If you wanted me to dress up for you this badly, you just had to ask.
>>47354709
I mildly dislike a Stat system combined with such extensive benefits. I can give myself 0 resources or property, but still own a mine, a shop, a mansion, etc.
I'd suggest making some of the benefits affect your Stats (a mansion = +1 property; sorcery = +1 knowledge) but then we'd all end up with ridiculous stats. I just feel there's some awkwardness between stats and benefits now.
>>47355908
Why else do you want to be a girl if not because you touch yourself to the idea of being born with a cunt?
>>47355727
>It's just 5 icons anon. This is a minor issue.
Yes it's just five, and they are fairly distinct, but that was a general comment. I've seen CYOAs with more icons where they are all very abstract. It gets confusing.
>A heading for aspect of power is a bit redundant. Origin though, perhaps it needs one but I thought it was self-explanatory from the intro.
It's understandable what those sections are, but headings also serve an aesthetic purpose of splitting up the CYOA. After reading it, I can go back to the start to start my build and skip the paragraphs that are intro and just go from the ones associated, by headings, with particular sets of options.
>You can mix any type of benefit.
Considering how similar some are, it would be helpful to say so or give some indication of the difference between similar ones. I have no idea of the implications of Baron vs Noble vs both.
>Maybe I'll make it cost 1 benefit too.
That's a big switch from giving points at the moment. I think there should be a consistent idea behind the purpose of the options: are they meant to be benefits I can buy or drawbacks I can take?
>I won't spell out what it means though.
As long as it's clear they're not meant to be capped. With the current text I was only sure the cap applied to bonuses when I reached the explanatory text at the end.
(cont)
>>47355727
>>47356035 (cont)
>but you can assume that the cost of that outfit is equal to what you invest.
That's what I normally do in CYOAs for benefits that are descriptive, not numeric. But in this case, the huge cost (the drop from being average to low or peak to rich, in both magical skill and wealth) and the very open description (outfits that may, not even necessarily, have unspecified magic) made it hard for me to imagine what possible subjective benefits they could have to be even comparable to the cost. For example, is a nation prides itself on fashion and I'm at 5 treasure and 4 knowledge, I would take for granted that I can get many rare outfits, even with minor magic powers. So for a single outfit to set me back so much that my magical power and wealth drop significantly (by a fifth of the greatest anyone can be expected to have) it must be pretty damn impressive! But there is no indication what sort of spectacular it might be! Enough to make me immortal? Enough to give me immunity to fire or water breathing? Enough to make me as a minor wizard?
Thank YOU for the CYOA!
>>47354709
I chose not to roll for the kingdom I'm spying on in favor of making for a better story.
>Background
Official
>Kingdom
Miragus
>Benefits
Warrior
Advisor
Noble
Diplomancy
Sorcery
Lord
Residence
>Diplomacy
Ambassador to Ell (+1 Knowledge)
>Hostility
Spying on Kaliph (+2 Knowledge)
>Rewards
Double Identity (Kaliph)
Covert Order
The Ouroboros
The Kalipha
High Society
>Final Array
Combat: 2
Knowledge: 5
Resources: 2
Treasury: 0
Property: 1
A hotheaded young noble from an otherwise respected noble family has little place in the hallowed court of Miragus. It was decided then that my considerable talents would serve the Matron in a place much more suited to my temper: Kaliph. It was a woundrous country, with so many exotic sights and experiences, but I made sure to keep my eye on the mission: infiltrate, investigate, and, if possible, destablize a potential threat to Miragus. Well in a country so stridently factionalized it was child's play (literally) for one trained in the arts of the Covert Order to insinuate myself with both parties, each aware of my collaboration with the other and certain that I was their triple agent.
I amassed my own influence as well during this time and drank deep of the rewards both factions offered. It would be suspicious not to, you understand. As I rose in the ranks and took part in minor, local governance both groups seemed to decide of their own accord at the same time that I should serve as an arm of their foreign relations department and gave me a seat as an ambassador. My greatest failure was in getting myself sent to Ell of all places. It was the least I could do to make sure that both the Ouroboros and the Kalipha sent me to the same place and I couldn't risk overplaying my hand.
>>47356012
I'm not >>47355750, I'm just making fun of you for obsessing over whoremoans.Mostly because it's easier to identify with the gender I've been my entire life.
>>47355830
I can have a little fun without also being a girl.Maybe you're right though.
>>47356012
Take out "being born with".
>>47356077
So now I'm stuck in the frozen asshole of the world for the time being. I've managed to buy my way into their High Society but all that means is I get to spend more time rubbing elbows with more frozen assholes. It cost me most of my physical wealth to get to this point but that doesn't bother me so much. I've managed to secure for myself a wide array of influence and knowledge in three different kingdoms. The worst part is I can hardly think of a valid exuse for either Kaliph or my home country to come give these bastards a beating. Still, it's not all bad I guess. While you're never far from the Matron's web I'm far enough away that it's inconvenient to micromanage and I'm granted a lot of independance. Plus, though far from the Upper Villa, I've manged to secure a Residence of my own in this hellhole. Built in the Kaliph style I enjoy the fact that it must rankle these snobs to see my mansion breaking up the monotonous architecture of their city. More than a few nobles are interested in the exotic pleasures I offer, as well.
>>47355830
Not only are you jumping to extreme conclusions mighty fast, but have you also considered that people can have multiple interests that don't define them as a person?
>>47356096
>Why else do you want to be a girl if not because you touch yourself to the idea of a cunt?
>>47355901
OC up here.
>>47355965
>I mildly dislike a Stat system combined with such extensive benefits.
I don't mind it myself, but I'd mainly like to point out that a CYOA could have extensive benefits that don't overlap with its stats. For example, stats cover intellect, knowledge, physical abilities, while benefits cover property, social status, allies, etc. Or the reverse, for an unusual twist.
>I can give myself 0 resources or property, but still own a mine, a shop, a mansion, etc.
That means you own nothing else. You sleep in your shop/mine entrance, are one of those nobles with nothing left to his name but his mansion, etc.
>>47355347
He probably wants to be a sexy lesbian so he asks which kingdoms would lynch him for that to avoid them.
>>47356083
>spoiler
What, you mean you'rea real girl? Lucky youbut why make fun of anon because of that?
>>47356141
Also, add "having".inb4 you add it somewhere else in the sentence.
>>47355901
Doesn't seem to open up properly on Sumatra.
>>47354709
Hell yeah, motherfucker, i was waiting for that.
>>47356247
Sorry, didn't know Sumatra was a thing.
>>47356247
Works for me. Update it (v3.1.1).
>>47355788
Thanks
>>47356199
it's a pdf so nobody's gonna read it.
>>47356239
anon, actual girls don't fetishize their gender like you do.
>>47355901
My main point of criticism:
While I could pick 'Solar,' I wouldn't actually know what this choice really meant. What powers, really, would I have and how would they be different from electricity and heat? Couldn't I transfer my energy to electrical appliances or is that a strictly lightning thing? Could I burn things or is that only for heat? So on and so on.
All the same you did really well for a first OC.
My build: Solar
Benefits: Immortality, Dual-Source (Diligence)
Weaknesses: Unstable powers
Weaknesses:
>>47354709
I guess I'll make a build for my own CYOA.
COMBAT 4 +1 -4 = 1
KNOWLEDGE 3 -2 = 1
RESOURCES 2 = 2
TREASURY 4 +2 -3 = 3
PROPERTY 2 -1 = 1
Dual Citizenship
Primary: Nidal, Secondary: Myst
(+1 Combat +1 Treasury -3 Treasury)
Benefits: Warrior, Advisor, Merchant, Diplomacy, Residence
Kingdom Rewards: Personal Assistant, Order of Shadow, Market Priority (to get myself a Caer outfit, Solsteir weapon and perhaps even magical teachings/scrolls).
Diplomat (rolled 12 = Seille), +1 Treasury
I'm fine with that. I'm a Nidal tradesman, looking for resources and negotiations with Seille. Most of my combat forces have been redirected to assist the ruler of Myst for a safer Myst free of assassins. Maybe one day I will return to my homeland, but for now I have other duties. I have my trustworthy assistant to help me with my tasks, plus to find distrustful people.I stand ready if the Order of Shadow calls for me.
>>47355887
That would certainly be complicated.
>Receive a formal letter to investigate a newly discovered kingdom
>After years of investigation finally found out who and where
>ON THE EDGE OF THE GREAT MAELSTROM?!
Yeah, good luck.
>>47355347
Hold on now Watson I think this young anon is saying that they wish to avoid discrimination. You should reserve your rage and shitposting till after you learn about context clues.
>>47355901
>>47356269
>>47356280
The problem was apparently the PDF preview thingy that Pale Moon / Firefox have. It somehow inflated the filesize to 256KB which broke it for Sumatra. Right-click and Save As... got me a working file.
>>47356314
I bet some do.
>>47356334
Solar can't transfer power to electrical devices or burn things, that is for Electricity and heat/anger respectively. All you can really do with it is remove the need to eat and create light from a distance or from yourself. Thanks for the criticism, I'll try and clarify Solar.
>>47356422
No, anon, I really don't think they do. It's a part of your fetish.
That's not how functional people think.
>>47355965
This anon >>47356203 pretty much covered it.
>>47356035
Alright I understand where you're coming from, but I often struggle with design and text. Having too much text destroys design, having too little is sometimes confusing.
>I think there should be a consistent idea behind the purpose of the options:
My intentions were that benefits are background/lore options, and Diplomacy/Hostilities are lore+reward option.
>>47356054
Considering the Custom Outfit (or generally any kingdom reward) is a reward fit for Kings and Queens, you certainly can expect greatness from it. I left specifics open for interpretation, but you can think fantastic aspects (except immortality. That's a no-no).
And thank YOU for enjoying it!
>>47356077
Hey that's cool man. I'm all for that. Going to read it now.
Rolled 16, 11 = 27 (2d20)
>>47354709
>Background
Independent
>Benefits
Merchant
Lord
Commander
Armoury
>Hostility
At war with... (+2 Treasury)
>Rewards
Grand Ship
Harem
>Final Array
Combat: 2
Knowledge: 2
Resources: 2
Treasury: 1
Property: 2
Born to a wealthy family in Netherlands-analogue, it had always been my dream to forge my own state out on the waves, answering to noone and as self sufficient as I could make it. Finally, and at great cost to my liquid wealth, I am the captain of the Insurmountable. Equal parts pleasure ship, merchant hauler, and war galleon we mostly ply the waters around the Islands but we'll take anyone or anything to any port in the world. For a price.
The utter freedom and wealth (in experiences, if not in any particular quantifiable category) suits me but unfortunately for me and my crew we're still required to fly the flag of Netherlands-analogue and while I'm out gallavanting at sea I haven't kept up with the news that they're apparently heading for war with...
>>47356638
(Didn't mean to roll 2d20)
... Aurendal?! Damn! The nation most able to threaten my livelyhood, though I can see why they might have an issue with the expanding influence of Netherlands-analogue. It is some irony that they'll soon be hunting down a Grand Ship of their own design but somehow I doubt that will stop them. This does mean a life of constant risk and adventure for me, at least for as long as the war lasts. Perhaps I could seek refuge in a more distant port but the opportunity for privateering, profiteering, and perhaps amassing my own armada certainly has its appeal. I already possess a small army and the seafaring equivalent of a castle. High-stakes boarding actions would be one of the fastest ways to recoup my investments.
>>47354709
>Dual Citizenship
>4-1=3 Knowledge
>4+1-1=4 Combat
>3 Property
>2-2+0 Treasury
>2-2+1=1 Resources
>Sorcery
>Warrior
>Noble
>Commander
>Armoury
>Tusk (Legendary Beast)
>Caer (Custom Outfit)
Be poor but still fairly strong and influential noble. Have some castles in mountainous lands between Tusk and Caer. Would have lots of money from trade through border area, but unfortunately dragon breeding business is expensive. Especially when you spend time fighting off barbarians and studying magic instead of developing business sense...
Anyone interested in buying a dragon can come and stay with us for awhile.
>>47356314
>actual girls don't fetishize their gender like you do
You'd be surprised, lol. I adore being a woman, and most well-adjusted men I know adore being men.
>>47356314
>doesn't masturbate in front of a mirror to how fucking cash it is to be a woman
look at this loser
>>47354709
How about a little number from 1-20 next to each kingdom? To make rolling easier. Maybe the numbers could have dice shaped outlines.
>>47356518
>That's not how functional people think.
Well there's no way all women are functional! Now I know you're bullshitting!
>>47356728
>I adore being a woman
What do you mean? You enjoy dressing up sexily, having a hot body, being arousing to guys?
>>47356747jelly
>>47356728
So you masturbate to the knowledge of being born with a cunt rather than a dick lol, as anon masturbates to the fantasy of being born with a cunt instead of a dick lol?
>>47356830
> lol
Buddhism praises feeling nothing right? Because looking at this I feel empty.
>>47356830
I celebrate my life and everything in it, including my body. It's good to be me.
>>47356892
I think that's called narcissism.
>>47356077
>ME?! I know who I am!
>I'm a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude.
So many identities. So much intrigue. The Covert Order can train you for that, sure, but hot damn.
>stuck in the frozen asshole.
Yeah, that's Ell. Stuck until summer. Nice job representing too, those nobles are little stuck up but they are very interested in exotic curios and pleasures.
>>47356638
Oh shit. You're shipfaring in war with a shipfaring nation. You could always seek refuge in Rahai waters, but darn, that's a big dent in your freedom. Maybe you've been pirating, and they've set up a hefty bounty on your ass.
>>47356716
I like it, too bad you're broke as fuck, but at least you can get into the breeding business.
>>47356914
Back to the drawing board for you, I guess.
>>47356830
>being born with
I already corrected you on this! Get it together anon!
>>47356892
>It's good to be me.
Yeah, yeah, you're a girl. Stop rubbing it in!
>>47356927
Lady I don't even care about your argument with whoever. I just saw that post and it made me think of ol' Narcissus.
OC incoming. You don't need to be familiar with the Persona series in order to understand it.
This is my first CYOA, but I feel like I may have tried to do a bit too much with it. I just wanted to make something that would encourage everyone to be more emotionally introspective than normal.
Really, though, this CYOA is just a glorified waifu CYOA, with some superfluous elements added in. Harem Creator has always been my favorite author, and I mean that unironically. The secrets in this CYOA aren't meant to be intentionallly incendiary like his stuff--just add dimension to the characters. I hope you enjoy it, just the same.
Please give me comments/suggestions for the next time around, if you don't mind.
RE: Personas. Fans of the series will wonder why I chose certain personas. I just wanted to represent a wide range from the different mythologies. Try not to think about the power imbalances too much.
Also,P4>P3, edgelords.
1/3
>>47356964
Secrets to be posted after I finish up the page. Shouldn't be too long.
2/3
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>47356986
>>47356964
Hard to decide between Kali and Alice. Both accurately describe my flaws desu. If 1, Kali else Alice.
I struggled to figure out which female companion but pick, but even without having read the other males I knew I wanted Kaoru. Good work, duderino.
I guess I'll take Honoka to help with the diplomacy effort.
>>47356964
>That spoiler
I wholeheartedly agree but P5 is primed and ready to take that crown already.
>>47356964
>>47356986
>Secrets
Oh boy, is everyone ready for futa NTR?
>>47356964
>Spoiler
Very true tbqh desu
>>47357170
>futa NTR
How can you stand to combine something so shit with something so hot?
>>47356950
Narcissus literally looked at himself in a goddamn pool of water until he died of thirst. I think a little bit of self-appreciation is healthy.
>>47354709
Combat 5 + 1 - 2 = 4
Knowledge 4
Resources 2 + 2 = 4
Wealth 5 - 1 = 4
Property 2
>Official
>Warrior-Merchant (2)
>Treasurer (3)
>Diplomacy (4)
>Sorcery (5)
>Lord (6)
>at War, roll 15: Miragus, +2 Resources
>Kingdom:
Myst (+1 Combat, -1 Wealth)
>Rewards
Order of Shadow (-2 Combat)
What is a man to do when he's got wealth, knowledge, might and men yet no title? Join a rebellion of course!
Mizarus going to war against us is the perfect opportunity for the Order of Shadows to take control. Soon we'll be in charge and I'll get that lovely title of nobility I always wanted.I originally wanted to join Mizarus but I rolled it as the enemy kingdom so now I guess I'll be a corrupt official.
>>47356948
please, I beg you, stop posting like a tranny-gay version of Angel.
>being envious of a girl
And I do honestly urge you to ask your doctor for more hormones, too.
>>47356964
> this CYOA is just a glorified waifu CYOA
Thank you for being honest. It's nice to know I can ignore it before I start caring.
>>47357239
You need to work on your baiting technique desu
I literally cannot wait to see what anon fucks up trying to copy the worst role model of all, Harem Master Anon. I bet what he thinks isn't incendiary eats up two threads.
>>47357239
Which is which?
>>47357292
>genuinely needing that explained
>>47357271
You didn't reply to >>47356822
>>47356986
>Ruri Abe's quote
Oh my, she certainly works quickly
>>47356964
>Please select a persona that best represents you.
So am I supposed to pick a persona that represents things I accept in myself ("this is how I am and that's OK"), or things I reject in myself ("this is how I am but I wish I weren't"), or what? The whole "personas are shadows" (and "shadows are repressed aspects") is what's causing this confusion.
>>47357083
I figured people would have trouble picking. Maybe I should have added in something about rolling among your options...
>>47357124
I haven't watched any of the trailers since the first one, but I'm hype as hell. Blonde Rise looks like she has best girl potential.
>>47357170
It won't be that bad, I promise!
>>47357271
>Thank you for being honest. It's nice to know I can ignore it before I start caring.
You get to choose a male companion, too, though, so maybe it's not totally irredeemable?
mootikins killed our thread. oh well.
>>47355901
Vampiric
Shunned
Weakness: Anger
Immortality
Dual Source: Social
Im basically immortal and any place with large amounts of people will fill me up. All I have to do is really live in a big city or a college town or something. Not too bad. Hell, I probably throw the best parties.
>>47357394
>It won't be that bad, I promise!
Harem Master Anon and Hunter Anon both said that about their last secret CYOAs that ate up a half-dozen threads each. The only recent one that did well was Pallas because he didn't make his about waifus.
>>47357394
>You get to choose a male companion,
Anon, I'm not gay.
Look, you made a waifu CYOA, and some people like that. I don't.
Again, I'm just happy you said it right off the bat so neither of us had to waste any time.
>>47357386
Different sides of the same coin. Almost all the aspects listed are negative, so it's less about whether you accept them or are trying to change them, and more about how accurately they define your personality. What you think of them doesn't factor in.
I'll make a v2 to clarify.
>>47357355
What's there to say?
The first part makes no sense, the two next are him/you unable to differentiate between reality and his/your fetish
You know, you could make a CYOA instead of this.
>>47357469
Don't count your chickens, bro. Wait until the shitstorm is over before you make any promises.
>>47357451
>Anon, I'm not gay.
Really? Because you seem really annoyed bymen wanting to bewomen.
>>47357425
I'm kinda curious about what those might be, though I can understand your reluctance to link them. Is there any way to search by author or anything or am I doomed to not be able to find out what you're talking about on my own.
>>47356964
Orobas fits, but I refuse to choose a horse furry.
>>47356964
I definitely have inverted Strength, so
>Kali.
Orobas, Isis, and Byakko would be decent, but not quite as well matched.
>Chinami Endo
She's the onlywaifufemale companion who I can't see any potential dangers in, which obviously means she'll turn out to be the worst choice. Maybe she's haunted by some spirit of making people trip or something.
Speculation from a Persona newb:
Nanananananana...is NOT tsundere towards you. She's just really bad at being mean.
Jane McAvoyWas sent to draw out and hunt down some sort of enemy of the government/world/etc., and suspects you. Alternatively, the 'training' messed up her soul, meaning she literally does not sleep (among other effects).
Kaoru Adachiis NOT secretly a shadow, but some nominally higher entity that decided this whole human thing might be worth a try.
Shiho Nanasakiis a trickster-type entity that feeds on fun.
Tsukasa Komon's dad made a Faustian pact for his powers, and its effects somehow trickled down to his son. He desperately tries to get out of the fate that took his father already.
Albert Engelis a Bond villain, most often foiled by Jane. He has put a tentative halt on plots to save his wife, and you (and/or she) might be able to convince him to stop them for good.
Chinami EndoAgain, I'm not sure. It might be an act as a desperate way to get attention
Xiaoxiao ZhaoBesides the generic "mad scientist with ulterior motives for research", I'm not sure.
Honoka Yanagimight be a sociopath, might be an entity posing as a human. Picking her would very likely end poorly, though.
Ruri Abegot taken over by a Shadow by Xiaoxiao's treatment, probably unintentionally.
I'm pretty sure they got more subtle near the end, but that may just be me.
>>47356964
>all of the personality descriptions fit me
ha ha hafuck
There was a professional wrestling cyoa that was posted here a long time ago, does anyone have it?
>>47356964
>>47356986
>Persona: ISHTAR
Why do I want to bully and dominate cute boys?
>Female friend: Chinami Endo
We'll strategize our way out of this.
>Male friend: Xiaoxiao Zhao
He's clever and basically our healslut. Also a literal slut. I mean, if he gets to experiment on me, I should get to experiment on him. He'll look just great all bound up. Or with some red stripes on his back. Maybe both.
Now show me the mystery page so I can see how badly I fucked this up.
>>47357707
The one with the blue background? I remember that, but I'm on my phone now so maybe later tonight.
>>47357568
Im not following your train of thought: shouldnt a gay man be happy at the thought of s guy who thinks
>it's not gay to take it up the ass if I tell him I'm a girl
?
I'm mostly annoyed that you think a guy loving cock isn't gay.
>>47356964
I guess Ill take Quetzalcoatl?
For companions, How about Ruri and XiaoXiao.
Well. Here goes nothing. Lets wait for that secret. I'm sure Ruris will be terrible.
>>47357730
Yeah that's the one. Thanks
>>47356920
Hey Bliss! Glad you like it! I don't mind being a poor noble in this case. I feel like I'm more like "house poor", it's more like all my money and resources go into protecting my lands and raising dragons and there's just not to much left over. That's not to bad really.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that my custom outfit would be some fashionable dragon handling gear.
>>47356986
Damn it. Just noticed the typo on Albert's quote. Oh well.
3/3
>>47357383
There's a reason for that.
>>47357613
I actually chose him specifcally to placate the furfags!
>>47357735
Loving cock IN A VAGINA isn't gay!
>>47357771
But in the process now I must pick a less-fitting Persona.
>>47356986
>>47357634
Whoops, forgot
>Kaoru Adachi
Thus will probably end poorly, but a flaw of "betrayal" means he's already done the betraying. This either means he'll never betray us or that he's almost certain to. One or the other.
>>47357534
>You know, you could make a CYOA instead of this.
Where to start? What would distinguish it from other genderbend CYOAs?
>>47357781
I could've sworn we've already been over this: you're turned on by cock.
Just because you have to go through mental loops to justice this, doesn't change that you love cock.
All I ask is you admit to yourself you're gay.
>>47356964
>>47356986
Shadows? Anyway, I choose Kali, and Albert Engal as my companion. You will have a option that will let me "Talk" to demons and get spell cards right? I can summon my persona anytime too, right? If not, I going to hit up Steven for the devil summoning program.
>>47357827
Does it need to be anything but generic?
You could go into great lengths to make it sound not-gay via the "how did you become a woman" options.
Maybe add worlds were gays/trannies aren't thought less of?
>>47357836
You get to pick a girl, too. And there can't be a talk option, because Kaoru's ability is described as being unique.
>>47357771
Well.
>>47357746
Lets see. Ruri: Yeah. Damnit. I knew that was coming.
Xiao: God damnit. Again?
I may have made some bad choices.
I guessShiho and Janewasnt as bad as I initially expected. I was thinking about picking them.
>>47357836
demons =/= shadows, brother
>>47357771
>First girl is literally insane and is going to injure you for your blood.
How is this not supposed to be incendiary?
>Second girl is disgusting raped good who gets off on shit.
That's repulsive.
>Third girls is kind of a bitch and a liar.
Mostly harmless.
>Fourth girl is pretending to be stupid.
Mostly harmless.
>First guy is gay and gets you in trouble with the Yazuka.
Plot hook and doesn't bother me, but it'll piss someone off.
>Second guy is /pol/
Hilarious to me. Shitty secret though.
>Fourth girl is a bitch.
Not fun or interesting.
>Third guy is a fucking drug addict.
This is going to piss people off too.
>Fifth girl is a bitch.
Yawn.
>Sixth girl is dying.
How is this not supposed to be incendiary?
Most of these are just boring/stupid, but what the fuck were you thinking with Nana, Jane, and Ruri? These are the exact kind of shit that had people shitstorming about Harem Master.
>>47357809
>>47357634
>>47357771
Good thing I never check the thread updates!
In any case, I was dead wrong for all of them.
My choices turned out... interesting, to say the least.
>>47356964
>Pick one aspect of your all-consuming despair and depression
Well Dionysius the Moon then, and thanks for nothin.
Jane McAvoy is cute as hell, but I gotta go with Shiho. Lack of focus isn't what I need but spending time with someone cheerful and friendly, even physical, would be amazing.
Tsukasa seems a bit needy at first but hey I love magic and I'm sure he has great potential. Shiho teasing him will probably be funny as hell too.
>Secrets
Shiho's is tragic, but, not insurmountable. Not terrible. I wouldn't want to force her in either direction but I have to admit giving up on all that seems like a mistake to me. Not that I can entirely understand. Still, just more perfect.
Tsukasa, man... Damn. I want to tell him to just get the fuck over it but I know how much that doesn't help.
Really what they both need is just a strong support structure. Which I obviously can't provide myself, but hopefully the three of us can help each other.
>>47357771
>Ruri
>Muh tragedy
>Muh deep story
>Muh pathos
Oh fuck off.
>>47357771
>Shiho
>who the brain?
Truly a question that philosophers will ponder through the ages...
>>47356964
Albert doesn't want you to get with Jane becuse of age difference is she a older woman or what? Certainly doesn't look like it.
>>47357830
>you're turned on by cock.
So are girls and they aren't gay.
>>47358043
She was raped by literally everyone and now has a fetish for scat.
You think I'm joking.
>>47357803
Or maybe, deep down, you actually are a furry.
>>47357634
Man, I could have made this thing a lot more fantastical, couldn't I have? I keep it in mind for next time.
>>47357879
Shiho's really isn't all that bad. I had a really hard time writing for her and Chinami.
>>47357942
>Most of these are just boring/stupid, but what the fuck were you thinking with Nana, Jane, and Ruri? These are the exact kind of shit that had people shitstorming about Harem Master.
I don't know. I guess I was just thinking about Persona. Sympathetic psychopathy (although it did just turn into straight-up yandere, which I admit is my fault), traumatic pasts, and limited time to live are all featured there. Sorry.
>>47357942
>unironically calls people 'disgusting raped goods'
>Criticizing the CYOA maker for being 'incendiary'
...
>>47357771
Tbh I'm kind of annoyed atKaoru's inability to talk to shadows. I was hoping that they'd be intelligent, or willing to engage in diplomacy; something like that.Honoka was a tad bland as well desu.]
>>47357771
>Chinami bullied
>Xiaoxiao drug addict
I made a mistake. I shouldn't have picked Xiaoxiao. I'll whip the addiction out of him but that's all I really want to do.
I'll help Chinami too. Hopefully I can find out the real culprit before she gets herself killed on a solo mission. I'm definitely beating some sense into her first though. "This is not a soap opera. Don't shut me out. Let me explain myself."
I really regret not picking Tsukasa just because he was boring. We could've been great together. I'd love his loving, pleasing nature and he'd love my cock.
Could have been worse I guess.
>>47358070
Persona was NEVER that fucking edgy. Either one person self-sacrifices and everyone else moves on or shit goes down but you manage to scrape through. It's not about getting raped and anime death illnesses and fucking blood as hair dye.
>>47358065
That have nothing to do with age.
>>47357942
I'm just curious what your definition of an exciting/smart reveal would be? For a Persona CYOA of all things.
>>47357830
You're repulsed by your own cock? How do you have sex? Do youwish you were a woman?
>>47358101
See >>47358091
The ones I'm complaining about in particular are out of tone with the games. Dial that shit down. An abusive parent is in-line. Having a train run on you by the military base is not.
>>47358091
Yeah, you make a good point. I will reconsider for the next time I try making one of these.
>>47358134
You mentioned a v2. If you really want to do a v2 right, you can overhaul the problem character's secrets. Not like anyone's attached enough to this to complain. It'd really suck for the only persona cyoa to be a disappointment.
>>47358106
Maybe Anti-Trans Anon is secretlyAngel and she thinks if someone likes men as much as she likes women then they must be gay just like she is lesbian.
anon>>47357836 here.
If shadows and demon are roaming about, to hell with school and social links. I am going to crush them all and become king of the demons.
I choose Rue as my female companion and will fuse her with a demon to give her life. We Digital Devil Story Now.
>>47357771
>Persona: Ishtar
>Companions: Xiaoxiao (how the fuck do you pronounce that?) and Ruri
Alright seems like a good balance for combat, interesting personalities, and a cute waif->Ruri's secret
Well... Guess it's gonna get awkward first and then I'm gunna miserable...
>>47358200
Worst part of Ruri is how she cuts you out of getting a real romance partner desu. Selfish bitch.
>>47358200
Xiao is pronounced she-ow with a slightly heavier emphasis on the back and pronounced quickly (not dragged out sheeeee ooooow). Its generally chinese for small but depending on where the accents are (see why americanization is terrible?) it could mean smile shave etc.
>>47358231
Can't blame America for that. Chinese is a phonic language and that shit isn't going to translate right into any phonic language.
>>47358200
https://translate.google.com/#zh-CN/zh-CN/%E5%B0%8F%E5%B0%8F
>>47358200
>Xiaoxiao (how the fuck do you pronounce that?)
Sh-ow(the ow sound is closer to OUCH!! that hurts than show as in Seinfeld.) Sh(OW)Sh(OW).
>>47358259
>any non-phonic language
Fixed
>>47358260
That shit does terribly with some words (even in English).
>>47358083
>Hopefully I can find out the real culprit before she gets herself killed on a solo mission.
I'm assuming you are trying to play it straight, because there are strong hints about who is bullying Chinami in the CYOA itself.
Going off the companion descriptions (and pretty much confirmed if you reference knowledge from the secrets), you already know the bully, regardless of whether you picked them for a social link or not.
>>47358161
Plus changing the secrets around is perfectly in line with them being, y'know, secrets. It'd be fitting for people to make ther picks in v2 based on the original secrets only to find out that it's all new stuff.
>>47358212>Not being there for her every second you can
>Not watching her struggle to perform for you one last times despite being barely able to stand
>Not telling her it's okay when she collapses halfway through as she sobs in your arms
>Not holding her hand as she passes on
You're kind of a heartless prick, anon.
>>47358231
so his name is "she-ow-o-she-ow?"
>>47358277
I'm Chinese; the tone is a bit off but it's reasonably accurate in this case.
>>47358315
Yes. Although it sounds like a nickname.
>>47358271
That makes Xiaoxiao Zhao sound pretty goofy. Then again, so does Nana Nanasaki.
>>47358312
I don't advise that. It could easily just lead to more fuckups like this. It's better just to fiddle with the secrets people complained about as not being representative of the series.
>>47358312
Don't do this, persona bro. Just change the original.
>>47358185
Solid reasoning, actually. It fits the observed thought pattern.
>>47357771
>Picked Chinami and Xiaoxiao
Holy fucking shit. I dodged about 8 different bullets of varying caliber and shit covered-ness.
>Jane
>I promise It wont be that bad!
You fucking promised anon. Jesus.
>>47355901
Looks neat I'll post a build once I get off work
>>47358413
Maybe thats his fetish.
If not for the whole scat and stuff.I mean the mind breaky rapey dom humiliation bits werent so bad. I'd keep her as a pet. Why cant she just be a naturally repressed pervert like the rest of us?
>>47357771
>mfw Honoka is literallyquoting Hitler.
/pol/ needs to revoke albert's membership if he can't get on her level
>>47358413
Okay, I admittedly fucked on on her and Nana. But ~8/10 isn't bad, right?
>>47358482
ruri is cheap drama whoring
>>47358449
>I mean the mind breaky rapey dom humiliation bits werent so bad.
Yeah, if it were just her fetish and nothing actually happened to her. Being repeatedly raped from the age of 7 is fucking horrific no matter how you look at it.
>>47356964
Man this just hyped me more more P5. Also I'm get this out of the way now but
motorcycle girl>Milady>blonde>>>>>>a piece of toast>Glasses girl
I'll read it over after work
>>47358514
And definitely out of tone with Persona.
>>47358528
You are susceptible to cheap drama whoring. That's not surprising. It's an effective trick by shitty writers.
Also your waifu is dead.
>>47358521
>Anyone over Poofy Shorts Musketeer
>>47358507
Considering that Shijiro from Persona 3 was dying taking Persona suppression drugs, it's not really that bad.
>>47358545
And can you explain this position not using the term 'Drama whoring' or other similar terms. Or perhaps provide alternatives.
>>47358607
It's just a scenario that's used to easily make someone sad. It doesn't require effort. It doesn't require you to count for people's agency or the randomness of life. It doesn't require you to write a character. Just make someone weak and sad and have them die, receive cheap tears. It's like making your villain eat babies and kick puppies so we'll hate him, it's the low road.
>>47358635
And if I could reiterate my asking for alternatives for Ruri?
>>47358482
>Okay, I admittedly fucked on on her and Nana.
Yep
>But ~8/10 isn't bad, right?
More like 5/10
>Honoka
Isn't much of a secret and it distracts from the mission which could doom humanity. And it just dooms you to be the blunt instrument of some asshole.
>Karou
People are going to be legitimately upset that she can't actually talk to shadows and is in reality, just a lazy cunt with no real applicable skills
>Albert
His secret is more stupid than anything else and only is invalidated by the fact that it doesn't impede his usefulness. His money.
It's kinda shit senpai
Real disappointing for a Persona CYOA but hey, you already mentioned that it;s basically a glorifies waifu pick.
>>47358663
Considering it's not even hinted in her main profile that she's a walking corpse, you could do literally anything else and it'd make as much sense.
>>47358676
>People are going to be legitimately upset that she can't actually talk to shadows and is in reality, just a lazy cunt with no real applicable skills
I will defend this secret. Her persona made it very clear she was lazy and a liar.
>>47358721
>>47358676
>betryal is in the description of her persona
>expects her to be useful
I mean it's a good thing she is only useless, i was fully expecting her to actually be harmful traitor or something.
>>47358701
Yes, but I'm asking what Alternatives are there, your saying it's a low road, I can see it being such, you say he could do anything else.
So throw something up. I like the concept of this CYOA, and I agree the secrets could use an overhaul, but throw the author a bone here. What could be done?
>>47358676
A waifu pick that makes one girl hurt you, one girl raped by packs of men and eats shit, one girl who is a worthless sack of shit and doesn't do anything, one girl that hates you, one girl that just uses you as a lackey, and one girl that just straight up dies.
The only one that works as an actual waifu is Shiho.
>>47358635
>It's like making your villain eat babies and kick puppies so we'll hate him, it's the low road.
There's difference between "evil for evil's sake" and the actually tragedy of a life cut short.
Doesn't strike me as an uncreative option, considering it's far more realistic than most of the deaths in P3.
How much character do you expect a guy wring out of a short description in a CYOA? I think he did a perfectly good job characterizing her in the little space he had.
I mean, I got a good enough idea of her to like her enough to pick her.
>>47358818
And this is tragedy for tragedy's sake. And it's definitely uncreative, everyone and their grandma has pulled something like this.
Also, you're basically choosing to be a miserable crybaby and watch a girl die for no benefit. You have some kind of weird sadness fetish.
>>47357771
Yes, YES I got the yandere and the magician, oh baby, these this is one of the times the mystery boxes actually helped me. YES.
>>47358844
>implying love is not a benefit
>>47358864
This is the kind of yandere that drugs and stabs you to bleed you out for hair dye. Not good.
>>47358663
You could always use the one suggested by >>47357634
>>47358070
Not that anon but here's my two cents.
Rape as character development is just kinda... Lazy. For one it's not super relatable, only a small percentage of the population will ever be raped and this forms a dissconet. Secondly as far as tramitic pasts go it dosnt work in this character. Example, I have a friend who once fell into a spiders nest and was stuck there with a broken leg for about 2 hours, to this day he gets super fuckin nervous around spiders and holes. Yesterday I choccked on some bread, this morning I had toast. Trauma needs to have a lasting effect otherwise it's just an inconvenience.
Still fine work for your first cyoa don't let any shitstorm stop you from making more!
>>47358888
The dead don't love.
>>47358888
I don't think anyone in this thread has ever formed a relationship with a physical person they loved that isn't their parents or close relatives.
>>47358890
I don't care!
I got the yandere. I'm happy. This is a good night for me.
I don't give a damn if I died, I chose the devil for fuck sake.
>>47358906
> I have a friend who once fell into a spiders nest and was stuck there with a broken leg for about 2 hours
>>47358915
Jesus fuck...
Who hurt you anon?
I'm too sorry for you to even keep arguing at this point...
>>47358933
You're projecting your limitations on others. Not judging you for it, but it bears saying.
>>47356964
>>47356986
>Persona: Kali
>Companions: Kaoru Adachi, Honoka Yanagi
I'm not even gonna bother trying to guess at my companinons secrets, since I'd probably get them wrong. I'll just hope they're not too bad.
>>47358587
>Not wanting a strict but caring waifu who's embarrassed by lewd and punches the shit out of bad guys for you
>>47358875
>nothing involving crossdressing or becoming a girl
>>47358906
>only a small percentage of the population will ever be raped
I mean...not really. I get what you're saying that it's hard to relate to someone who's been raped, without having been raped yourself but I doubt it's really because of this. A lot of people get raped and sexually assaulted in various forms.
>>47358291
You talking about Nana?
>>47356964
>>47356986
Alright, I've never played a persona game, but let's do this.
The persona choices seem weird to me. Picking Quezalcoatl because a giant flying snake is awesome.
Tough choice between Nana and Jane, but I'm not really into weeaboos, so Nana.
Either Tsukasa or Albert for the guys. I'll probably go with Albert for the money.
>>47357771
Well, I dodged a massive bullet not picking Tsukasa or Jane.
Nana being an obsessive yandere is pretty hot, even if she's using my blood as a hair dye.
I'm not racist, but I don't have that much of a problem with Albert, as long as he's paying me, and doesn't have a problem with someone who has family lines that are both traced back to Ireland. And Nana can protect for when he doesn't.
Pretty happy with my choices. If I had to pick beforehand, I'd probably choose Shiho and Kaoru, Kaoru because a girl with large assets who teases me is nice, and Shiho instead of Nana so Nana won't want to kill Kaoru.
Still very happy with my choices though.
>>47358974
Hey. First girl I loved (and loved me back) died. That shit ain't fun. He's got a point you know.
>>47356964
>Tower: Cu Chulainn
>Honoka Yanagi, Xiaoxiao Zhao
Welp, that certainly is a lot darker than I was expecting it to be. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but the Social Links in Persona were meant to be likable in one way or another, right? And they were also suppose to be capable of growth beyond their dark secrets, iirc.
Almost all of these characters seem unmanageable as Social Links. Maybe it's just not my cup of tea, as it were.
6/10. I feel bad for complaining, but I suppose that I had some expectations about what a Persona CYOA would be.
Looks nice, though.
>>47358962
Dude was like 8 he didn't two shits about that national geographic ass animal fact shit
>>47358998
No, not really. Rape has a very narrow definition unless you're a crazy motherfucker who thinks you can be stare-raped.
In most places men can't even be raped in legal terms.
>>47358893
Yeah, I'll probably go back to the drawing board at some point.
>>47358906
You make a good point. Especially
>For one it's not super relatable
I think this is the major stumbling point and where I will try to improve later on.
>Still fine work for your first cyoa don't let any shitstorm stop you from making more!
Thanks, anon!
So many nobles that could REALLY use a dragon! There's a place where you can get all sorts! You can buy baby ones to train yourself or adult ones that already have training as mounts, war beasts, aerial transports or all the above! Just send a letter to Lady Ryaxsan and we can negotiate a price and start getting a dragon ready just for you! Or come and visit for awhile and see what we have and what we do! >>47356716
>>47355310
>And I'm really weak, physically, but I have a bunch of shit to earn money from.
If you're looking for something cool to spend some of that money on, a dragon is a great idea for any noble to own! They're great conversation starters, mounts, and guards!
>>47356361
>Most of my combat forces have been redirected to assist the ruler of Myst
Dragons make powerful and terrifying war beasts!
>>47356638
>Equal parts pleasure ship, merchant hauler, and war galleon...while I'm out gallavanting at sea I haven't kept up with the news that they're apparently heading for war with
Dragon fire does truly horrible things to wooden ships! A dragon could be really helpful for intimidating or attacking hostile ships, or you could even fly it around to scout! Very useful for your oceanborne adventures! You don't have much money!? Well at since you're an adventurous merchant, perhaps we could work something out.
>>47357270
>Join a rebellion of course!
What could help in a rebellion more than a dragon! They're very frightening and terribly deadly!
>>47359052
Major stumbling point is that it doesn't really feel like Persona imho. For a lot of them, but especially for someone getting gang raped. Also this anon >>47359011 makes good points.
>>47358998
Sexual assault =/= rape the same way that assult =/= murder. Rape is the extreme. And no ones been consesistently extreme since the 90s
>>47358933
Come on, have some faith in your fellow anon.
I'm sure some of us have had actual relationships.
Hell maybe even long term romantic ones!
>>47358906
I agree.
Both that rape is more of a shock value attempt than actual character development.
And that anon should just learn from the feedback hidden in the shitposting and keep trying!
For a first attempt, this is still pretty good.
I expect great things from you.
>>47358984
Some people like different things.
I like poofy shorts.
I will not apologize for that.
Resposting the poorly written CYOA fron last thread.
>>47359090
>For a first attempt, this is still pretty good.
>I expect great things from you.
this ~desu. author, putting persona in the title creates a lot of expectations, but this is definitely not terrible for a first-time cyoa. you have good design aesthetic, too. please keep at it.
>>47358998
>>47359078
>men rape simply by walking by you
>>47359163
Design wise, it's definitely nice. First and second pages are okay for sure.
It's the third one where it falls apart, and it's mostly from crappy twists in a few characters. One can definitely do worse of course, but yeah. But secrets always end in shit no matter how experienced.
>>47359036
>can't feel sorry for rape victims unless you've been raped yourself
>what is empathy
>>47357771
>He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.
Real subtle, guy.
>>47359002
I'm aware, it just seems like an exceptionally bleak and sad way to look at the matter.
The dead loved and most were loved in turn.
Them being dead doesn't change or devalue that.
I'll concede that "terminal waifu" is a bit cliche, but I maintain that it's not something that if done fairly well, as I think it is here, is any less tragic and heartbreaking.
Just my opinion on the whole thing, though.And I'm a giant fucking pussy so I'm pretty biased.
I still can't watch movies where pets die.
>>47359201
I never said that. I countered anon's post saying 'most people get raped'.
>>47359251
I was replying more to the conversation than your specific post. Hopefully neither of us needs to get worked up over this error in judgement.
So here's a powerup system I drummed up while on a walk today.
Trouble is, I haven't got a setting or narrative to go with it.
>>47359248
I personally thought it played to the trope too much. She was brought back from the dead. The only possible secrets would be she's still dying, she is dead and just reanimated, she is getting taken over by the persona.
Hey, /cyoag/, what was that mystery CYOA from a while ago that generated a shit ton of discussion? The one where you pick a school to go back to and pick friends and powers? I know that's exceedingly vague, but it's worth a shot.
>>47358521
>motorcycle girl>Milady>blonde>>>>>>a piece of toast>Glasses girl
While I don't agree with the latter ranking. Biker girl is my fucking waifu and I applaud your good taste sir.
independant
benefits commander, baron, noble and sorcery
kingdoms ell
>>47359172
>men rape simply by walking by you
Who said this?
>>47359395
Forgot pic
