Barmaids /tg/, describe your most common interaction with them in your compaign.
>We pay them to eavesdrop on other customers because sexual advances from our wizard isn't getting anywhere.
>>46929763
Order food and drinkd, pay for the service as per costs listed on the menu.
>>46929871
What, no tip?
>>46929827
Is it historical to assume barmaids can easily be prepositioned into whoring?
>>46930027
Yes, there's a reason "wench" is synonymous with whore.
>>46930027
In that knowledge(history) would yield the chances of a particular barmaid being a whore? Yes.
>>46930166
How would you go about convincing one to do the deed if she wasn't sure though?
>>46929763
It's a running joke in my group that the first barmaid the party meets will always be a wizard.
>>46930344
Offer money?
>>46930344
You're a peasant with a shitty job who's only advantage in life is that you happen to be kind of attractive. I will give you more money than you could hope to earn in several years of work to have sex with me.
Someone has to listen to all those adventures.
>>46929975
I'll give you the tip, and then some ;^)
>>46930380
>>46930398
Why pay when you could be sweet talking them into it instead?
Usually just for drinks and food. Current game my character stays away from them since his mother killed and ate one out of jealousy after they held hands and sat together and kissed.
>>46929763
How much?
>>46930484
Because then when I'm gone she'll at least have something to make her life somewhat better.
>>46930484
Not every adventurer is a bard or equivalent.
>>46930484
Economic Stimulus.
Imma trickle down on that bitch.
>>46930565
You can still give her an absurd amount of money, you just get to phrase it as a gift rather than a transaction.
>>46930618
So you're going to shower her in gold?
>>46929975
No, even medieval cultures thought tipping was retarded anon.
Just as in reality, there are none because medieval taverns and shit didn't exist.
>>46930027
not so much whoring as it is nailing the chick that served you alcohol all night. Most of those taverns were also inns, towns weren't as big as cities so she probably lived nearby, or in the inn itself. and because shes serving people drinks all day shes probably had a few herself.
>>46930689
When did taverns start existing?
>>46930721
Victorian era, late Victorian era at least anything could be identified as anything close to the establishments seen in typical fantasy.
>>46930718
It seems like it won't be logistically feasible for this sort of thing to happen very often, otherwise barmaids will be getting pregnant all the time from one night stands?
>>46930689
>alcohol has existed for thousands of years
>humans selling alcohol in bars has only existed for hundreds
>>46930787
Mankind had all sorts of contraceptive tricks since antiquity, they were to as reliable as what we have now but still worked for the most part.
>>46930787
thats where the term bastard child came from. sluts have existed since the dawn of time.
>>46930854
>sluts have existed since the dawn of time.
It sounds like they didn't have much choice. You were a barmaid? You give the customers sex, for free >>46930718
>>46930905
not all the customers lol, even back then she probably just banged the ripped dudes that looked badass, or if any military/royalty where for some reason in town. actual whores didn't have a choice, but tavern girls aren't actual whores.
>Try to impress tavern wench
>Take out 1,000 gp and make it rain
>Literally weights 20 lbs
>Tavern wench now has bruises and the guard think I beat her up
>>46930943
Kind of makes you wonder how good the tavern wenches and whores looked back in those days.
>>46930905
>>46930905
This seems like a rather shitty job. Does it pay well? Cos if it didn't it seems like they would be better off just go whoring full time.
>>46930948
Aren't you supposed to, like, throw a handful or two at any one time, not dump the bag on their head?
>>46930948
lol
>>46930484
Then she wouldn't be a whore.
>>46930963
women have been sexy as fuck since humans first existed. We see a good looking chick today and we're all like "dam shes hot" back then you wrote a fucking legend or a play about her she was so hot.
>but soft, what light through yonder window breaks, it is the east, and Juliet the sun
>>46930948
>Throwing large amounts of metal coins at people
No one who grew up in such a setting would be this stupid. This is a failure of logic by the player.
>>46930978
You probably got to eat the scraps and maybe even had enough surplus to take home with you.
The prospect of getting to marry someone better off also sounds good.
>>46931023
>That Shakespeare quote
Literally, he was saying that she was hot.
>>46930839
Oh, they had contraceptives all right.
They had a contraceptive herb that was so effective, it was literally harvested to extinction.
People who try to argue that the "good old days" were less smutty and sex-filled as today are delusional, to these people getting fucked behind the barn was the only really fun way to burn a couple hours before going back to their backbreaking existence.
No really think about a world without books, television or internet. You worked a 10 hour day and slept for 8 hours. What do you do those extra 6 hours?
All the games I'm playing at the moment take place in medieval fantasy settings where table service has not been invented. Well, so long.
>Be friends with a wizard
>He teleports us to orc lands for some sweet orc wenches
>Later on we teleport to the halfling lands for some relatively less violent halfling wenches
>End the day by teleporting to gnome lands and get some delicious gnome wench blowjobs
Being friends with a wizard is the best.
>>46931073
>>46931073
I've always heard that long work days is an artefact of the industrial revolution and historically people worked much more reasonable hours. Depending on the circumstances of course. Harvest is a bitch if you're a peasant, but then you have fuck all to do all winter.
>>46931141
You know, between this picture and my own inebriated state, I have to wonder.
Were breasts really that large in the Middle Ages? I keep hearing about how women lacked the proper nutrition to keep up large chests, but then we get reports like with Joan of Arc where she's noted as being a busty peasant girl.
Shit, this isn't even a lewd question for me right now, I'm genuinely curious if boobs were in the olden days.
>>46931073
Also, if you need more proof of that, look at art, literature, and graffiti from various time periods.
Pompie? Dicks. Dicks everywhere, and most indications are that it wasn't anything special at the time.
Shakespeare? Dick jokes, fart jokes, and innuendos.
Graffiti? No matter what era you go to up until fairly recently, people were drawing dicks on everything.
>>46931212
Brewing is your hobby during winter.
>>46931212
Yeah it's true, before electric lighting people got up at dawn and went to sleep at dusk. That has to include both work and non-work hours.
In winter farmers went hunting/trapping for fur.
>>46931212
>I've always heard that long work days is an artefact of the industrial revolution and historically people worked much more reasonable hours.
There was always work to do, anon. Tending the chickens, pulling out weeds, collecting the eggs and so forth. You'd be working all the time, but said work was usually pretty damn reasonable.
Consider the alternative of NOT HAVING WORK. What did you do when you didn't have work? You couldn't read, you couldn't turn on a TV or go online, you couldn't do anything really, so what did you do?
>>46931223
>Were breasts really that large in the Middle Ages?
It obviously varied. Sure women had a harder time with worse diets for their chests to get large, but they also had kids younger and more often, which gives large chests.
>>46931073
People are probably thrown off somewhat by all the stuff from back then about how valuable and important it is for girls to be virgins.
>>46931223
I'd always figured Joan was pretty flat-chested after one of her sub-commander's comment that even in her nightcloths he felt no lust towards her.
Actual size would depend a lot, I suppose, but the average size would have likely been much smaller than today for the reasons you stated.
Of course genetics have a huge role in that too, so you likely had the same issue with bust size as height in that time period. Some places were titty town, other places are ruled by the itty bitty titty comitty.
>>46931235
>Shakespeare? Dick jokes, fart jokes, and innuendos.
You think Shakespeare was the only one who did that? Bro, read some Canterbury Tales, the stories from the "common folk" were FULL of sex and crude humor.
We're talking about people that knew what sex was almost as soon as they were old enough to UNDERSTAND what sex was, with hours and hours of just recreation time devoted to nothing but hanging out with the cute girl from across the river, who started having funny feelings between her legs and thought maybe you could show her a way to fix that.
Chastity was of course always a valued trait in a person, it just wasn't something they expected was mandatory, nor did they particularly demonize people who didn't bleed on their wedding night.
>>46931073
And to answer your question, you fuck but more often you talk, eat, drink, sing, dance, tell stories, play games, play field sports, have a smoke, beat your wife, go poaching, spread malicious rumours about the draper's daughter...
It's a little depressing if you can't imagine human enjoying their leisure time before books or tv.
>>46931321
>I'd always figured Joan was pretty flat-chested after one of her sub-commander's comment that even in her nightcloths he felt no lust towards her.
Naw brah, she was supposedly quite chesty, enhanced with good pecs which kept the girls perky.
The sub-commander, at least as far as I remember, did not feel any lust towards her because Joan was just that virtuous; lusting for her felt like a sin even he couldn't bear.
>>46931296
See >>46931332
Virgins were valuable, they were not expected to be the norm.
It's like, it didn't hurt you to have had sex, but it helped you to be a virgin. There's a big difference between that and "shun the whore, expect a virgin."
>>46931352
>quite chesty
Medieval women tended to be flat and have late puberties because of malnourishment unless they were aristocracy.
Also french fashion has never really been big on large tits, idk how far back it went, but 300 years later they thought Marie-Antoinette's slightly larger than average breasts were basically comically large.
Sorry for disrupting your fapfic.
>>46931279
So in other words it came down to good genetics that encouraged large breasts, rather than trusting your hormones.Shit, this is reminding me of a woman in Napoleonic France that was notable simply because she married a nobleman at 14, and at the same time had already developed breasts.
>>46931073
>what do you do those extra 6 hours?
>>46931223
Average breast size has likely increased over time due to large breasts being a positive survival trait (attracting mates and nursing children) but there is no reason large breasts couldn't have existed at earlier points in history.
Also what the fuck is up with Captcha
>>46931433
>Sorry for disrupting your fapfic.
Well shit, I was just parroting what I hear on /tg/ so often, sorry if I sounded like I was jerking off in my own little corner of America.
>>46931332
There was that, but not everyone read Chaucer's work in High School. Even the most uncultured swine has heard of Shakespeare.
>>46931340
Most people assume you just didn't have free time before electricity, what with making your own cloths, grinding your own flour, and all that.
>>46931352
That makes sense, I suppose. A life of manual labor, assuming you weren't starving, would do wonders for one's physique.
>>46931352
>you will never follow a beautiful woman sent by god into combat
>you will never see her undress in front of you and feel only righteous fury
god we've lost our ways
>>46931262
Drink, fuck, and be merry!
>>46931473
>grinding your own flour
The common peasant didn't do that, they'd have someone else in the village do it.
Ooh, lemme try to find a book I have of primary sources during the Middle Ages, I think they actually had letters dealing specifically with peasants.
Act like dumb assholes who grope them and are indistinguishable from other dumb assholes so the guy we're tailing on the other side of the room either doesn't think we're the one following him or underestimates us.
>>46931520
Wheat flour, yes. Corn flour in civilizations beside Europe's? Better get a rock, bro.
>>46931520
>Ooh, lemme try to find a book I have of primary sources during the Middle Ages, I think they actually had letters dealing specifically with peasants.
>"'I haven't a penny left' said Piers, 'so I can't buy you pullets or geese or pigs. All I've got is a couple of fresh cheeses, a little curds and cream, an oat cake, and two loaves of beans and bran which I baked for my children. Upon my soul, I haven't a scrap of bacon, and I haven't a cook to fry you steak and onions. But I've some parsley and shallots and plenty of cabbages, and a cow and a calf, and a mare to cart my dung, till the drought is over. And with these few things we must live till Lammas time*, when I hope to reap my harvest in the fields. Then I can spread you a feast, I'd really like to."
*Lammas Time is usually the first of August, when the first crops ripen and are ready for harvest.
>>46931520
Some did, some didn't. A fair number of places excavated had grindstones in them for that purpose, but those were generally in areas without wind or water mills to do it for them.
>>46931644
>that dude on the rug
>"you gettin laid tonight boy"
![[SAVE ME].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hAY9dRq.jpg "[SAVE ME].jpg")
>>46931641
>tfw the rest of these primary sources are too long to reliably write down
I JUST WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU GUYS THE JOY OF ACTUAL TEXT WRITTEN BY THESE PEOPLE.
FUCK.
>>46931644
>Child in the back wearing glasses
>Violin
>Stall selling unprocessed grapes
>Dress is a mishmash of European cultures from different periods of time
>PUMPKINS
>PUMPKINS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>46931473
>That makes sense, I suppose. A life of manual labor, assuming you weren't starving, would do wonders for one's physique.
You'd need good nutrition, and a lot of people just flat out didn't have access to much in the way of diversity of food. Travel was slow, which sucks for getting around all but a specific set of foods. There are a lot of common diseases from medieval times that are actually the result of missing particular vitamins etc.
That's, of course, setting aside the fact that calorie intake for much of human history came pretty much down to the wire. People expended a ton of calories because so many tasks relied on muscle powered, and a lot of them barely got enough in their diet to make up for the loss.
>>46931727
>>46931433
So what you two are saying is that large breasts would only really be found among courtiers, merchant's daughters, and noblewomen?
>>46931458
>believing /tg/ on JoA
/tg/ here is 40% French propaganda, 40% British propaganda, and 20% idiots who read the Wikipedia page and think they know everything.
>>46931744
nah you'd get all sorts of chicks with huge tits, but they would probably be rarer than today.
>>46931752
>40% French propaganda
Kek, the French don't go on /tg/, I'd pin it at 80% British propaganda.
Perfidious Albion is infamous for being petty historical revisionists.
>>46929763
>AD&D
>be a fighter.
>go to tavern, wenches want my dick
>take her to the back room and proceed to tell her my life's story.
>get out after an hour game time and start drinking "ye olden rooted beer"
>dm is relieved I didn't going to magical realm on him.
>mfw
Feels awesome man.
>>46931641
Is that Piers Plowman in modern English?
>>46931752
well please do tell the rest of us what Joan was really like, im sure you met her personally.
>>46931744
Good genetics could get you a nice pair of tits, but being able to rely on that alone wouldn't be as viable as it is today. Otherwise, a 25 year old woman who has had seven kids could have large breasts.
>>46931744
That and well-to-do peasants in general. Owners of larger farms with more livestock, for example.
>>46931781
>In this fourteenth century poem, Piers Plowman reflects on the hunger that prevailed annually until the first crops ripened in mid-August (Lammas-Day is 1 August.)
Well shit, I guess it is!
Really makes you understand why there's so many feats in Fall and Winter, though.
They've got the food, and not much else to do.
>>46931817
Such as peasants with large numbers of cattle?
I do recall the Frisians, Danish and Scandinavians in general had a thing for animal husbandry back in the day, that might explain their habit of being taller and bustier than other Europeans.
>>46931817
>well-to-do peasants in general
Where would I go to find well-to-do peasants, anyway? Was it more a case-by-case basis, or was there ever a region in Europe that had a habit of holding more "healthy" peasants than others?
Like, if I was a peasant in 1250 Europe, where would I want to be to earn my livelihood? For some reason I want to assume it's Northern France or the Low Countries, but I could be wrong.
>>46931787
No, I'm part of the 20% Wikipedia assholes.
>>46931839
I remember reading something about Norway being fairly terrible for agriculture for the most part, but great for sheep, goats and the likes.
>>46931787
Kind of a bitch. Super religious too.
>>46931891
The Low Countries, Bohemia, Poland, or the Ukraine.
>>46931909
>but great for sheep, goats and the likes.
Sheep and goats are wonder-beasts that can live basically anywhere, eat almost anything, and produce valuable cheese and milk almost constantly.
Almost everyone will have a goat, those things were invaluable. The whole "gotta drink cow milk" era was fairly recent and added a whole lot of fat to our diets.
But yeah, the Scandinavians had terrible land, which forced them to value meat, fish and dairy above everything else. This had a habit of giving them large amounts of fat and oil, which arguably was what helped them keep fat on their chests.
>>46931773
>muh perfect paladin waifu Joan of Arc
>not Frog propaganda
The sinister hand of the baguettes is everywhere.
>>46931944
>Bohemia, Poland, or the Ukraine.
What is it about Poland that lends itself to producing huge amounts of grain? I've always heard it's (and the general area around it) one of the biggest breadbaskets in Europe since almost forever, but whenever I look at a map I just see a place that's kind of cold and cut off from the coast.
>>46931963
butthurt bong detected
>>46931963
PERFIDIOUS ALBION PLEASE GO.
>>46931891
Some were tradesmen, some were farmers who just happened to own more and/or better land.
The term peasant just meant anyone not a noble or a serf.
>>46931981
Low density, boring, flat, and the climate is too shit for a lot of the good cash crops, so you either grow grain or maybe wine, flax and hemp.
>>46932034
>>46932047
It is good to know I can imitate the land of the enemies of my ancestors.
>>46931839
>Scandinavians
>cattle
Maybe Denmark or Sweden
Also there were heavy punitive taxes on commoners raising cattle.
>>46932095
>It is good to know I can imitate the land of the enemies of my ancestors.
It's not hard to be a traitor, just ask England.
>>46931981
>What is it about Poland that lends itself to producing huge amounts of grain?
The land is flat. Compared to say, Slovakia that's mostly mountains, hills and forests. Also continental cold is not THAT cold to hinder agriculture.
>>46930027
Often times, but not always, Barmaids would have a sideline gig as a prostitute. It was good money for doing work 'on your back' and you got to spend some time in a room that was probably nicer than yours. This was one of the reasons Dulcinea being a tavern wench was supposed to be so comical in Don Quixote
>>46931752
I'm just saying she was most likely not that busty you butthurt bong. You still lost the war, signed a treaty saying you lost the war, and then waited 20 years before starting the civil war your historians claim is the reason you lost.
>>46931891
Depends on what livestock you're rearing. In the British Isles there was a long period of time when wool was the major export, so sheep were very common and very profitable. France had, if I'm remembering the shit I studied 10 years ago right, was one of the largest exports of grain for the majority of history, especially along the western coast. Both of these were likely great places to live for your average peasant, with France winning out over the Isles due to better weather.
The Low Countries weren't so good for agriculture because a lot of it pre-modern drainage techniques was covered in swampland. Of course, they were also situated at the Rhine delta, which is why Amsterdam became one of the largest trading ports in the world. I doubt it was a particularly good place for the common man, but you'd have a better chance of becoming an artisan of some kind simply due to the amount of raw materials passing through the place.
Elsewhere... I'd go with basically anywhere on the Rhine as a place where most people would be happy to live. It'd take a drought of ridiculous proportions to dry up that river and you'd have the flood plains on either bank for fertile harvests. Livestock wise you'd probably do better in coastal Spain, Italy and anywhere in the Republic of Venice.
>>46931839
>>46932099
Hold up, I thought the reason Norwegian Huldra had cow tails was because they were all about them cattle.And Swedish Huldra have fox tails, what's up with that?!
>>46932130
>France had, if I'm remembering the shit I studied 10 years ago right, was one of the largest exports of grain for the majority of history, especially along the western coast
Makes sense, considering how hyped up the French countryside is as a playground of fantastic weather and wonderful soil.
>>46932182
I hear Italy was good too, but the fact it was made up of city-states constantly at one another's throats was a bit of a negative.
>>46932182
The french coasts, except for a small stretch of quasi-desert north of the Pyrenees on both sides, along with the Seine, Rhone and Loire valleys, are seriously god tier land and ridiculously defensible for anyone who controls all 3.
>>46932252
>>46932182
>>46932130
>mfw I made my Not!France the most fertile, agriculturally-productive nation in the setting
Well fuck me for taking that hunch and running with it.
>>46932246
If you take France, Italy, and everything up to the Elbe valley (it included) you pretty much have the main economic core of late medieval Europe.
Spain, Poland, Scandinavia, the Northern Balkans, Maghreb and the British Isles at the natural periphery.
mine are cute and taken
On the subject of quality of life for peasants what would it be like for a Greek peasant before the Empire's fall?
>>46932378
Which Empire?
>>46932378
slightly worse than when Rome took over and made the world a better place to live.
>>46932378
Mostly slaves or borderline slaves, with fat latifundios on top. A small free farmer might have a few slaves, but family farms were kind of unheard of in a lot of provinces, and their agriculture was, afaik, inefficient as shit (iirc Gauls were first in Europe to use plows)
>>46929763
Order food and drinks, pay up and tip well. Flirt, joke, and once or twice the cleric has paid a cute barmaid to join her and her boyfriend for a threesome.
>>46932252
>>46932296
There's a reason France was the pre-eminent power in Western Europe for God knows how many centuries. As far as geography is concerned, France hit basically every box on the 'How Great Is This Place?' list. Of course there is the problem that France is filled with French people and, as everyone knows, the only person a Frenchman is more likely to hate than an Englishman is another Frenchman. Especially if he's a noble.
>>46932328
I don't know much about Eastern Europe, but I do know that England and the Low Countries had very highly prized broadcloth. Something about the way each worked the wool into cloth made it much thicker than most places.
>>46932378
Which Empire? There've been a few.
>>46932356
That looks more like the daughter of a well-off German knight, not a barmaid.
>>46932405
The Eastern Roman...
>>46932480
>>46932405
I thought it was common knowledge that whenever someone just says "the Empire" it was probably referring to the Romans.
>>46932480
The Eastern Roman Empire with its capital in Byzantion.
>>46932471
>if Christina Aguilera went back in time and worked at a tavern.
>>46932492
>>46932515
>The Eastern Roman...
Depends, are we talking pre-Heraclian reforms, post-Heraclian, or during the Pronoia reforms?
Guys, this is an important question that has been raging since time began.
>To grope the barmaid or not to grope the barmaid?
>>46932553
well we're using medieval so Pronoia.
>>46932583
Does the barmaid seem like the type that enjoys to be groped?
Do you think she would enjoy being groped by you?
>>46932603
Why are either of these things relevant?
>>46930424
I wanna drink with Cestree andwalk her home gently
>>46932583
good looking people can almost get away with everything. if she thinks you're hot the grope is welcome, if you aren't hot then its sexual assault.
>>46932620
See >>46932625
Sometimes a grope is wanted, sometimes it is not, it honestly depends on you and the barmaid and the time.
>>46932583
Not. She's there to do a job and another customer trying to cop a feel isn't making her like any easier.
This is, of course, a null and void statement if she sit in your lap while you order or something like that, but otherwise the rule stands.
>>46932625
>>46932642
But why does what she want factor in?
If a nigga wanna put his hand on some tiddy, that's what barmaids are for.
>>46932675
>If a nigga wanna put his hand on some tiddy, that's what barmaids are for.
That's an easy way to get a pissed off barmaid and significantly worse service.
You're seriously underestimating the value of courtesy, even if it's with a large-breasted lesser.
>>46932675
Good luck with that.
>>46932506
But which Romans? Also, you've got to keep in mind that this *is* Greece we're talking about. It's been part of more empires than most countries could hope to have heard about, never mind be in.
>>46932515
Probably not very good. Byzantium faced a lot of crises in the lead up to its fall and one of the ways they tried to deal with it was by taxing the peasantry into oblivion. Worse, when things were actually going well for the Empire, it often meant the nobility profited above all others, which at some points led to the peasantry being essentially serfs.
I'm not as well versed on the ERE, however, so I'll bow to the other guys' knowledge on this when he gets his post typed up.
>>46930677
Golf clap.
>>46932675
Most places also have bouncers and/or bartenders for that. Your choice.
>>46932694
>a pissed off barmaid and significantly worse service.
I can think of worse things.
>>46932600
Imagine a flan in a cupboard.
Basicaly the eastern roman empire was increasingly dependent on wealthier italian republics to keep it afloat and on the good will of catholic powers to not see them as too heretical to survive.
The eastern romans were more busy stabbing and castrating each other than really trying to restore their empire, to a point where by the time the fourth crusade started, they were already in the middle of a 3-4 way civil war; Venice only went for Constantinople when the leader of the side they helped couldn't pay his debts.
The population of the ERE was already in profound decline well before that and only really started recovering under the Ottoman Empire. The black death changed the ethnic makeup of large swathes of the empire, as catholic albanians replaced largely orthodox vlach populations, while serbs probably moved into what was their original homeland, and so on. Basically it all became kind of a fucking mess where as one group started to migrate due to low population another new group showed up and fucked more shit up.
>>46932716
Bro if you want to grab some tit than just head on down to the nearby brothel, if you're lucky they even have the damn thing in the same inn.
Barmaids are for serving, and until you know they're also good for servicing than that's all they're good for.
>>46932716
Like urine in your beer? Or her telling some rough looking men with knives where your room is?
>>46932625
>good looking people can almost get away with everything
>>>/r9k/
It's not just because you're ugly on the outside.
>>46932675
Consent is my fetish
>>46932753
But it's true
How do you think I was able to get away with fucking your mom's mouth ;^)
>>46932765
You sick bastard. I bet you even pay for the hotel room.
>>46932725
So when would you say the empire we were promised really died? From the way you mentioned the black death I'm inclined to say Justinian, but things were still looking good for them well into the Makedon and even Komnenoi.
>>46931719
that's a good point
time to advance all of my settings by a couple hundred years in tech level just so I can have cute bespectacled NPCs in them
thanks for the idea
>>46932765
Honestly, is it too much to ask for both parties *wanting* to have sex with each other?
>>46932753
This post makes no sense.
If the statement is "good looking people can get away with everything", and you say that the statement is wrong because the person saying it is not only ugly, but also has a shit personality, it doesn't invalidate the statement.
They're ugly and shit people, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that attractive people can get away with anything.
It's like saying "The law doesn't apply to rich people" and then you retorting with "You don't just say that because you're broke, you say it because you're also a criminal". It may well be, but the statement still stands.
>>46932817
What if she just doesn't know she wants it?
She needs a few thrusts to remind her.
>>46931644
Lads, where would you think this image is supposed to take place?
Part of me wants to say 18th century Denmark, but that's mostly due to the variety of hair/eye colors and clothes.
>>46932827
Asshole attractive men tend to fuck asshole attractive women, the average woman will probably have nothing to do with them after the first few dates.
>>46932741
>Fucking with the synthesist with 50 str, spellcasting and 250+ HP
>Trying to attack him in his sleep when he has a ring of sustenance and a wayfinder that lets him sleep with his eyes open
>Implying wench piss doesnt improve the beer
>Implying those thugs werent a midnight snack and an invitation to track her down and do more things to her
What kind of murder hobo are you?
>>46932827
A good looking asshole is still going to get slapped, robot.
>>46932793
Slightly before 1000. I'd say either the schism, or when they tried to send Belisarius reconquer Rome in a siege that basically emptied the City (iirc like 80% of the remaining romans either died or fled) and dug one of the many deep rifts that finished it off.
If I wanted to piss off the byzfags, I'd say the empire died when Zeno decided not to recognize either Syagrius or Odoacer as western emperor.
>>46932870
The world doesn't run on tabletop logic, and nor should the average tabletop campaign for that matter.
Act like an asshole, get treated like an asshole. Such is the way of things.
>>46932817
>Level 20 Cuckmancer
>Spells include Cry, Summon Lover For Significant Other, True Feminism
>>46932855
Could be, but aren't that variety of grapes French?
>>46932899
Basil II was the last great hope of the Roman Empire.
And he fucking died, along with that princess that was supposed to unite the HRE and ERE.
Why couldn't that old codger have like, one heir. The guy lived for 60+ years with the diadem and he never had any kids.
>>46932909
>Level 20 Edgebarian
>Powers include Autistic Frenzy and Fedora Totem
>>46932911
>Could be, but aren't that variety of grapes French?
Could be the Artois region of France, maybe even Normandy.
Though that doesn't explain the clothes.
>>46932962
Wine grapes definitely grew all the way to scotland and denmark during the medieval warm period.
>>46932931
>Why couldn't that old codger have like, one heir. The guy lived for 60+ years with the diadem and he never had any kids.
Want to hear the best part?
The Byzantines (and Russians) had a practice that basically made it piss-easy to find a wife. It was called the Bride-Show.
Essentially, the Bride-Show is where officials from all over the empire would pick out the best women from their province and take them to the capital, where they would compete with each other for the attention of the emperor, who would pick among them the one he fancied the most.
>>46931448
Normans pls go
>>46932870
This really makes you think about how literal murder hobos get by when they reach a high level.
Most other adventurers of a similar level would probably be ruling empires or at least be in a position of power and prestige. Meanwhile your murder hobo is strong as fuck but still relies on taverns for meals and rest stops and generally terrorizes the general populace.
You'd probably live the like those apostles from berserk that get to do whatever pleases them until one of the high level NPCs sent to hunt you down eventually gets lucky.
>>46932974
>Wine grapes definitely grew all the way to scotland and denmark during the medieval warm period.
The warm period was around the 12th century, the clothes are clearly 18/19th century and the pumpkins are at least 15th century.
>>46932974
Those are usually a different variety of grape than what grew in France though, just as those in the Rhine River Valley were different from them as well.
>>46932962
nor does it explain how big piles of pumpkins, native to north america, got to france.
>>46933011
Why are Normans such worthless pieces of shit? Most people remember them for invading England and bringing their shitty frog culture there, but they were also all over the Mediterranean, shitting up Italy and being cowardly mercenaries for the Byzantines.Don't even get me started on Antioch.
>>46932848
50 no's and a yes is still yes.
>>46932642
>>46932753
I didn't say they could get away with everything, just almost everything. regardless of wether or not a grope is wanted, you will almost never get mad that someone attractive groped you, not mad enough to do anything in retaliation. if someone you consider ugly gropes you its a crime. I don't write the rules thats just how it is.
>>46933081
>you will almost never get mad that someone attractive groped you
You'd be shocked how quickly someone goes from "cutie" to "creepy freak" when they do something rude or disgusting around you.
>>46933081
yeah no. If you grope me you're getting kicked in the nuts.
>I kill the barmaid lolololololol
Seems to be the norm with my players.
>>46933066
You can take the snownigger out of the fjord, but you can't take the fjord out of the snownigger.
>>46933158
your players are shit. As a fellow DM I have to tell you things are so much better when players actually give a shit.
>>46933148
what if the worlds sexiest man groped you while you were sitting next to the worlds sexiest woman?you can lie to us, but don't lie to yourself
>>46933148
>If you grope me you're getting kicked in the nuts.
What if I wear a metal codpiece?
Then you've failed at your revenge.
>>46933066
Doesn't help that they are basically real life examples of murderhobos.
>>46933223
Fuck her while he fucks my ass
Only reasonable option tee bee aitch
>>46933248
Generally speaking, if you're some peasant barmaid and the person in question is wearing a metal codpiece, he's probably wearing the armor that goes with a metal codpiece and because he can afford such an embellishment on armor he's probably wealthy and has enough power to fuck/rape whoever he wants with no repercussions especially from a barmaid.
Therefore, it seems highly unlikely that anybody would do something as fucking stupid as attempt to take a swing at the jewels of their soon-to-be rapist.
As a woman in those times you take the grope and hope they don't actually intend to rape you.
>Be lowly barmaid with 4.5/10 looks
>Some guy armed to the teeth feels you up
>Get mad and begin to protest and attempt to make a scene
>Upon further inspection you see that one of his group is a literal 11/10 goddess who is probably also really bad ass at fighting and omnicompetent
>Realize that you'd only look stupid if you try anything
>He sticks his finger up your peasant asshole when you come up and serve their drinks
>Cant do anything but grin and bear it
>>46933333
where hath keks blessing lain
>>46933341
See, this guy gets it.
If a dude wants to grab some tiddy, just let it go.
And if it turns into a rape? Well, then maybe you hire a mercenary to kill him or something, but also it's kind of a compliment so maybe don't do that.
>>46933366
>Group of armed adventurers bullying a barmaid in public
Mmhm, yep. I can fap to this.
>Looks up Normans
>See this map
For a society unified by Christianity that seems like a pretty fucked up scattering of people that would leave you open to getting absolutely fucked by the Turks or Mongols of the time if they weren't too busy fighting each other.
I don't know my history so maybe someone can enlighten me.
>>46933392
>but also it's kind of a compliment so maybe don't do that.
It's not a compliment to get raped.
Women have hated getting raped since forever, in fact from my handy dandy primary source book I got here it makes numerous mentions of rape and how women handled it, in many cases mirroring the way women handle it today.In other words, lots of shame and blaming themselves for it. Men also thought that women *enjoyed* getting raped during this time period, even if they verbally opposed it.
>>46933462
>Women have hated getting raped since forever
OBJECTION! Census data shows that rape is among the top female sexual fantasies!
I posit that women don't hate it, they're just playing coy.
>>46933419
Normans are an ethnic group, not a kingdom.
You're applying modern nation-state logic to an age where your lineage mattered significantly more than your ethnic background. The Normans were able to conquer so much territory because they were adherents to Primogeniture succession, which means the eldest legitimate son gets all the good stuff, forcing second sons to sign on as adventurers and travel to far-off lands in search of their own lands to conquer.
This is how Normans got to Apulia and Antioch, they were adventurers.
>>46933392
>not preparing a contract before violating and ruining the property of the maid's father
You ought be hanged along with the other burglars and thieves.
>>46933419
>For a society unified by Christianity that seems like a pretty fucked up scattering of people that would leave you open to getting absolutely fucked by the Turks or Mongols of the time if they weren't too busy fighting each other.
The Normans in England often had no business with the Normans in Apulia, much less the Normans in Antioch.
>>46933490
>OBJECTION! Census data shows that rape is among the top female sexual fantasies!
So? It's a fantasy for a reason, and like most fantasies a rape fantasy involves the woman inherently wanting it (because they're fantasizing about it in the first place) and the men tending to be attractive, well-endowed or famous.
>>46933541
>Implying I would write a contract before sampling the goods
>>46933462
>>46933490
its a rough situation. Its not the same for men because we enjoy other things in life, like training, doing battle, building, creating art etc when a woman is raped its quite common that she climaxes due to the fact that shes having sex, when you ruin the one of the only things a woman enjoys doing by associating it with a traumatic experience, it fucks her up for life.
if you rape her while shes sitting somewhere half naked admiring how beautiful she is, or spending her husbands money, she might as well just off herself at that point.
>>46933590
>involves the woman inherently wanting it
That ain't rape.
Besides, how do they know until they experience it?
I'm telling you, they all say "yes" eventually.
>>46933607
>if you rape her while shes sitting somewhere half naked admiring how beautiful she is, or spending her husbands money, she might as well just off herself at that point.
I chuckled.
Bring me wine jelly and a potato, woman.
That's usually all they get from me.
>>46933462
>handy dandy primary source book
Are you talking about the book A Natural History of Rape? Or the counter-point companion novel, Evolution, Gender, and Rape?
Whatever, I'm going to read both. I'm somewhat surprised and not surprised there are two widely differing ideas about rape in history. It should be a topic that has a fairly clean consensus.
>>46933541
It seems more rational to me that it was more common to just rape them and pay the religious absolution fee and "ruining your vassal's daughter" fee afterwards if they complained, which they may not because you're their fucking lord and have the privilege to work their land.
>>46933490
You're full of shit. They want the thrill without the consequences. That's why it's still a serious problem.
>>46933419
Normans were like real life adventurers wandering off and conquering things. Those are separate kingdoms/duchys.
>>46933649
>Are you talking about the book A Natural History of Rape? Or the counter-point companion novel, Evolution, Gender, and Rape?
A Medieval Miscellany, by Judith Herrin.
It has at least four separate primary sources discussing rape, and in all of them the women are noted as going through great lengths to keep themselves from getting raped, and when it does happen they often blame themselves for it happening.
>>46933676
Normans *were* adventurers, the historical concept of an adventurer pretty much came from them.
>>46933609
>That ain't rape.
When I say they inherently want it, I mean the real woman imagining the rape, not the imaginary woman who's getting raped.
I'm not going to think about getting eaten by a big snake while jerking it because I'm not into that.
>>46931235
>Brewing is your hobby during winter.
Pretty sure brewing isn't that time intensive.
>>46931641
Talk about over fuckin sharin.
>>46931644
>Juggling with food was half entertaining from the actual juggling and half from the thrilling risk of having to go hungry.
>>46931917
Saint in the streets, saint in the sheets....
>>46932855
>the average woman will probably have nothing to do with them after the first few dates.
At which point they move on to the next asshole. Eventually they get tired of dating assholes, stop dating, start up again, go through a few more assholes, stop dating, hit 30, freak out, and marry whoever they think they can live with.
Or they get lucky and find a good match, but that's not the norm.
>>46932870
>Murdering the nephew of a retired murder hobo who has 51 Str, spellcasting, 251+ HP, and the favor of a god of murder hoboing.
>>46933609
I want you to imagine a dude raping your mom.
>>46933723
>Pretty sure brewing isn't that time intensive.
It is if you don't just throw mash in a pot and call it a day.
>>46933366
>>46933413
>time for them to pay up
>they throw the money on the ground and make you crawl to pick it up
>while you're down there the amazon puts a boot to your back, laughing at the size of your fat ass
>>46933723
>Talk about over fuckin sharin.
People were very big on hospitality back then.
>>46933697
>they often blame themselves for it happening
Well that's not terribly surprising. The whole deal with early Christianity and modern day Islam and Orthodox Judaism was shaming women for provoking the lusts of men; Christianity blaming women for the original sin and Islam and conservative Judaism for... well, just being crazy.
>>46933759
>Christianity blaming women for the original sin and Islam and conservative Judaism for... well, just being crazy.
You can blame Saint Clement and Saint Augustine for that.I can't suggest you buy A Medieval Miscellany enough dude, it's got a pleasant discussion on even this aspect of Medieval society.
>>46933723
>thinking about having sex with a saint
>>46933295
>Sickelgaita
>Literally a murderhobo barbarian fighting naked to inspire her husband's troops
Normans, not evenonce
>>46933849
>>46933807
>A Medieval Miscellany
Yeah man, I'm all over it; I appreciate you bringing it up. I love books like this that focus on the fine details of history that really describe the time as opposed to wikipedia/textbook history that goes, "These guys killed each other".
I've read Sex in HIstory by Reay Tannahill, which is a very easy-to-read book on the topic. She tries to stay very objective.
>>46933341
>>46933392
Sounds like a good way to get mob lynched. Assuming we're not using tabletop rules.
Reading all this shit about rape, it's no wonder men have a shit reputation. One bad apple, etc.
>>46933912
>"These guys killed each other".
Implying that isn't the best, most interesting, and most important part of history.
>I've read Sex in HIstory by Reay Tannahill, which is a very easy-to-read book on the topic. She tries to stay very objective.
>and yea they liked to have sex in this position, and that position and blah blah blah
>>46933933
>it's no wonder men have a shit reputation.
Look man, rape is just part of the natural order.
>>46933933
settle down girl, wooooooah
>>46933963
Anon, women hating rape and wishing to have none of it has been a common theme among learned women throughout history.
>>46933945
When you've listened and read all there is to hear and see about the colossal fuck ups that happened in WW1, the crazy successes of WW2, the ruthlessness of the Roman empire, and the deep understanding of human nature possessed by the Mongols, you kinda get numb to anything that's in between.
As for modern warfare I watched Generation Kill and quite frankly I can't get my dick up for anything war-related anymore after watching that.
>A group of twenty-five men can reap and bind ten acres a day
Huh, never knew that.
>>46934016
its fine dude its ok to think sex is cooler than killing stuff, you aren't gay or anything.
>>46934025
Doesn't sound too far off. An acre was supposed to be about how much land a man could break in a day.
>>46934025
>>46934128
Apparently you just had large groups of reaper-men wandering the countryside during harvest season, hiring their services.
I think this is the start of a cool character concept.
>>46934000
Hell, even the Book of Genesis the story of Dinah covers it. Chick gets raped, the guy who did its father offers bridal price, her brothers break in, kill all the men, then grab their sister and everything else.
>>46934143
Ditch the black robes. They get dirty far too easily.
man, this thread makes me really regret going on a diet for some reason.
All this tavern talk reminds me of that beautifully gluttonous feeling of cramming some nice spicy chicken wings down your gullet and following them with beer.
>>46934143
All this talk of peasantry makes me want a "village chief simulator".
By day you do all your economic stuff like working the field, milling flours, making clothes and running the tavern. Then by night you have to setup your merry band of level 1 NPCs armed with slings and clubs and defend your village from wolf packs, goblin band and the random murderhobo.
>>46934202
We've steered the conversation to grapes, to medieval history, to rape. The conversation hasn't been about pubs for an hour.
>>46933697
>>46933807
>A Medieval Miscellany
Holy shit, I have that book.
My favorite letters were the ones aboutan introspective priest discussing the day of his birth and how he was a premie everyone expected to die, and the one about the priests going to North Africa to buy slaves while searching for an orphan child they raised from a young age that was captured by corsairs.
That book made the Middle Ages actually feel like a time period actually inhabited by people.
>>46934204
If I recall, it's fairly trivial to mod Dwarf Fortress to let you play as humans instead...
>>46931682
... and I really want to read some.
Is it a published book? If so, whats its name?
>>46934204
You're forgetting the parts where the villagers are convinced they need to kill Farmer Theodore over yonder hill because he removed a stone from the hillock that sent forth vile spirits to make the animals savage and turn the villagers evil.
And the only way to stop this vile curse without killing Farmer Theodore is taking one of the local priests and having him "bless" the hill with all the afflicted villagers attending.
>>46934344
>Is it a published book? If so, whats its name?
See >>46933697
A Medieval Miscellany, by Judith Herrin.
>>46934365
>A Medieval Miscellany, by Judith Herrin
I now realise I am a huge tool for asking before reading the rest of the topic, but thank you for bringing this up. Looking forward to getting it.
This topic has been surprisingly excellent, with the exception of the weird rapists.
>>46933963
I'm a man.
>>46934143
No wonder we got the reaper as a symbol of death. Black plague rolls around, death is just wandering around scything people down left and right like a wandering reaper.
>>46933749
More
>>46935372
No you're not.
All the bartenders and bar maids in all of our local games are the exact same person. Literally, same names, builds, and faces.
>>46932182
France and Ukraine are Europe's breadbaskets.
>>46936280
So like an Officer Jenny/Nurse Joy of serving wenches?
>>46936287
>keeping child prostitutes in your drinking establishment
And what's worse, she's not even of legal age to serve alcohol!
>>46932624
I bet you want to hold her hand too. Pervert.I want to do that too
>>46931625
>Talking about anything not europe in the medieval times
>shiggy diggy
>>46932144
They still had cows here and there.
>Swedes on the other hand, are the worst scum
>>46930484
What do you think >>46930398 this is?
>>46936182
You callin me a liar?
>>46930618
But... the panama papers have shown that giving tax breaks to the rich doesn't cause 'trickle down', in fact they're just more inclined to hoard and hide it.
If anything adventurers are a good thing - particularly evil ones who break into peoples places and take their nice shit and sell it to people for shiny swords and shit.
>>46930689
Places for travelers that served food and provided bed absolutely existed.
>>46931073
Depends on what you did for your profession - some things involved fuckloads of manual labor and your wife was supposed to be cooking and taking care of the house while you were doing all that labor.
But otherwise yeah, you'd probably be fucking a *lot*.
>>46931212
If anything the internet and telephones (particularly cellular) have made work days even longer because back in the day when a business closed it was fucking closed. No after hours tech support or anything like that.
Now you can always be in contact with your coworkers and place of employment (even if you'd rather not be).
Work days varied depending on profession. For example farmers might have a lot to do at certain times: eg milk goat/cow, feed horse, feed chickens & collect eggs, muck out barns, repair fences and stuff, set about making butter / bread, work on tools etc. During periods like the growing season there wasn't much to do beyond your basic chores and shit like weeding gardens/fields, you'd be extra busy come harvest but after that things slowed down a bit. In short there were crunch periods where you worked extra hard and long periods without much to do beyond what you set yourself to.
Though due to lack of automation some shit like cleaning and laundry were tedious as fuck, which is why people tended to live in 'colonies' - shit was a lot easier when you had 10 women with 10 husbands + extended family & children to do shit.
>>46931777
Root beer is made from sassafras. It can absolutely be alcoholic.
>>46931945
Mares milk was also very good. It was high in sugar content so it could ferment quite naturally, mongols stored it in bags on the horses where the gentle rocking helped to turn it into koumiss. Occasionally blood was added to it though I'm not sure at what point.
>>46937140
These days it's typically not. Instead it's made with "root beer extrac." Also, sassafras is a carcinogen.
>>46936843
No he's calling you trans.
>>46936543
Long time ago, people were tougher than they are now. Getting raped was more considered a nuisance in medieval times than the huge thing it is now. Women were raped, and then they got over it. They were happy still to be alive and not having been killed or enslaved. In the worst case they would end up with a kid they don't want and would have to throw it in the river, abandon it in the forest or in front of a cloister.
>>46938321
Wasn't there any easier way to get rid of a kid without going through the nine months of abject pain in the ass?
>>46938321
