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we need to step up the new thread making game -edition
Previous Thread: >>69144894
>Helpful links
http://pastebin.com/mDAydpyK
>/bet/ wiki
http://slashbetslash.wikia.com/wiki//bet/_Wikia
>FAQ and abbreviations list for those new to /bet/
http://pastebin.com/tPXwjDi6
>Help for gambling addiction/suicide hotlines
http://pastebin.com/SVqUYKbf
>/bet/ approved spreadsheet for tracking your bets
http://www.aussportsbetting.com/tools/betting-tracker-excel
>Penalty
>No card
Got my hands WRAPPED around my wife's son's neck right now.
>>69170215
2nd for Juan Aurich DNB @2.2
8 more minutes for 1/2 cards. I want to believe!
I have to fucking ask
What the fuck was Baoteng doing raising his hand?
>>69170483
Waving at the wife's son in the crowd
Rip anon on Germany win
>>69170483
>4:48am in Singapore
What you doing up pal?
>>69170294
Very nice post but the lid survives
>>69170294
hope you stop strangling him now
>>69170483
being a fucking retard thats what
>>69170294
Why is it your wifes son? Isnt he also your son?
Looks like my wife's son is going to live a little bit longer
>>69170663
seething at Baghdatis/Youzhny 2bh
>>69170733
Tears pal.
So so many wife's sons surviving the night. Mines judgement day is tomorrow and the Tsonga match.
Boateng accidents can be very costly it seems.
CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMING BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Finally got enough now to buy the wife's son that gameboy station he's been asking for, hopefully if he's happy the wife might give me a round on her bottom soon. She's been going to the gym a lot and toning up, even got herself a personal trainer called Jamal who's been helping her get in shape. What I'm surprised about is that even though I'm only paying him £50 a week for 1 session, he's taking time out of his day to ensure that she's also eating right.I came home from work last week and found them in the living room with a sweat on, he must be ensuring that she trains at home as he had his shirt off and she was just in her underwear.
Thank you Germany for getting that yellow, you've ensure that I stay in a happy, fulfilling and loyal marriage.
>>69170604
Watching Euros.
What else?
>>69170794
Mines Del Potro, what do you think about that fag?
wife's son got lucky this time
>that kid in a gk jersey
Can't blame him, Neuer is a beast of a man.
This bitch just won £104 for guessing plays right
>>69170836
Damn this is gold.
Btw m8 sorry to break it to ya but Jamal is having a round on your son's mother's bottom
germanymen gonna win in extra time
So depressed
>>69170939
Should come back. Delpo is a strong boy. So so powerful.
>>69170483
I think he was trying to show he wasn't fouling chilling. Very strange behavior especially from a world class defender.
>>69171124
did you lose to Iceland too?
>>69171066
>>69170733
Are you dumb, or just new?
>>69171124
dw neighboor everything is gonna be alright in 30 mins, prepare to get comfy
>>69170939
I'm on this too and not worried.
>that penalty in the Vasco game
Would've thought it was a slag ref that gave it with how bad it was
>>69171272
Nah, don't really care about this game, but I'm stuck at home alone when I should be out drinking and the ET means I'll be stuck here for another 30 minutes at least and I don't even have beer.
>>69171186
Yeah, hope so lad
what's the bet? italy/germany et/penalties?
>>69171481
>Watching semi professionals instead of THE game
Americans.
People are putting money on Argentina against Uruguay and the line is moving
They beat us by 22 points and are better, but I'd swerve a third place match
>>69171690
>watching a mainstream game when lower league games are open for betting
Penny punting slugs
>>69171660
neither theyre all shit
REFUSE to believe Michael Caley is married to a WOMAN
Italy to qualify.
>>69171660
Me to put Euan to sleep when I visit Glasgow tomorrow x
>>69171887
REFUSE to believe you have ever spoken to a woman
th-thanks
>>69171870
>Not watching for entertainment
>>69171972
Stop @ing me you fucking freak
>>69171992
>betting on favorites
sven....
>>69172021
Stop using my gimmick you fucking dullard
>>69171999
>Italian game
>entertainment
'no'
>>69172246
zzzzzzzzzzz isn't your gimmick, you greasy little shit.
>>69172081
100 % because I didn't watch poland, germany or wales play before
only looked at results in their previous games which obviously isn't enough information
>boateng
such a top lad, my wife's son LOVES him
Can see this board turning into /pol/ 2.0 cause of boateng's mistake.
>>69172021
>>69172246
Arguably the worst anons. Sad sad little men.
Can't stop backing Juan Aurich. Won't stop backing Juan Aurich.
>>69172578
V strange post. Imagine being sad enough to type this shite out and then clicking submit. Weirdo.
>>69172776
V v strange post. Imagine being sad enough to type this shite out and then clicking submit. Weirdo.
>>69172828
Please have sex, you moon faced little cretin.
Under 2.5 bookings in ET @2.25 pmsl, SURREAL price.
>>69172776
Can tell your bird is 25 fat and a feminist. Get a life you freak of a man.
Shit memes lads
>>69173009
Very strange insult and insinuation to make at me. Can only think that you're projecting. Enjoy your lard ass lover, you chubby chasing little git.
>>69170326
Would brighten up my day, so it's probably not happening
>he STILL isn't ready to retire from gambling and move to montevideo
Stop arguing, you're scarring N'golo's son!!!
>>69173115
Shut up you nonce. Stop replying to me. Sad excuse for a man.
>>69173007
hahahahaha
>50% of my roll in play because if R A I N delays
>>69173007
T E A R S
E
A
R
S
>>69173410
>Staking 50% of your roll
Strange fellow
>>69173388
You are an extremely warped little person. Why do you persist in replying to me? Don't ever think of engaging me in conversation again, you acne-riddled mong.
>>69173488
It's spread over several live bets & pregame bets. UK weather fucked me.
>>69173633
I will not warn you again sicko. Reply one more time and I'll take action. I'll wipe you out with precision which has never been seen before on this earth. Maggot.
Dumping bankroll onto Italy on PENS
LETS GO
who wins on penalties?
P E N S
E
N
S
>>69173826
germany
>>69173826
germany bcause based neuer
>>69173826
literally flip a coin
>>69173789
Be careful who you are messing with, you pathetic cockroach. Run along to mummy or else you'll regret replying to me for the rest of your sad little life.
Italy @2.02 is VALUE
>>69173262
Might be happening
>germany never loses penalties
>germany never beats italy
which meme dies?
>>69174350
the penalties will go forever until isis strikes
Am I dumb, or did Skybet just give me free money?
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LMAO
wtf was that run up
Muller SUCH a meme ffs
FOR FUCKS SAKE
>>69174612
pmsl looked like a floorball penalty
What was that
FUCKING DONE.
Ozil SUCH a meme ffs
ruh roh
GERMANY PENALTY MEME DIES
pelle LMFAO
wtf is going on
Pelle SUCH a meme ffs
is this a fucking satire
>Pelle
No idea how he's tricked everyone into thinking he's a striker
THE MEMES ARE TOO MUCH
>This meme penalty shootout
What's with all these missed pens
did you know that pelle is finnish for clown?
kraut tossers
MEMES
OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD
>>69175492
I knew
SUCH meme players ffs
XCOM.avi
TOP KEK
GOAT penalty shootout
CHOKERS FFS
CHOKERS FFS
Unreal penalty shootout. Best I've seen in a long time.
Going down the middle is SUCH a meme tactic tbqh
>>69175979
Statistically best spot
>tfw put a cheeky fiver on more than 12.5 penals
GOAT PENALTY SHOOTOUT?
Can't stop gasping at these pens
BOATENG
>>69176073
Would LOVE to see some evidence of this.
NEUER GOAT
>Penalty shootout more exciting than the actual match
Meme are real
ITS OGRE
Shaking had so much on Italians. They lost cause of me.
>>69173961
I warned you, vermin. This is your last chance. Do not reply to this message if you value your health.
>tfw everyone is celebrating at the public viewing event and all the pubs
>I'm sitting in front of my PC drinking Baileys alone
>>69176099
Tears.
>>69177040
you're such an individual anon, congrats
>>69176273
I saw it on QI. Series M episode 16
>When taking a penalty in a football, for the best chance of success you should aim straight down the middle, because the goalkeeper nearly always jumps either left or right. Footballers know this, but no-one ever does it because if they did aim at the keeper and the keeper didn't move, they would be loathed. Goalkeepers tend to go left 57% of the time, right 41% of the time, and stay in the middle just 2% of the time. Three countries in the world have a 0% success rate at penalty shoot-outs, which are Gabon, Romania and Chile, each of them having played and lost two each. The worst country in the world to have played more than two penalty shoot-outs is England, having won just one out of eight, giving them a 12.5% success rate. In comparison, the Germans have won 83% of penalty shoot-outs.
(Correction: After this episode was recorded, but before transmission, Chile did win a penalty shoot-out, beating Argentina in the grand final of the 2015 Copa America 4-1. Also, Germany won another penalty shoot-out in Euro 2016 against Italy).
>>69177040
Go out and celebrate
>>69177040
Fuck thats sad just go out go to any bar and celebrate
>>69177040
At least you don't have a misshapen head :^)
I should have bet more than a tenner on us winning in penalty shootouts
that zaza runup was an absolute DISGRACE
>>69177216
fascinating tbqh.
>>69177202
Wanted to go see the game with friends, but they were all busy doin other shit until it was too close to KO to head to the city so everyone stayed at home. 12pm now, still enough time to celebrate and go out, but not sure if I'm gonna bother.
>>69177468
Never seen a short run up ever work. didn't work for messi, wouldn't work other memers
>>69177777
Impressive. Very nice.
>>69177777
You might wanna hit a slot machine
Paranaense SW @~1.7 tbqh
I swear Skybet are such Jews, I bet on Germany's 4th penalty to be a goal and they're claiming it was the 3rd, even though I took a screenshot of my betslip that says 4th when it was marked as a loss.
Why are they such cunts?
pmsl. Now "friends" are sending me messages asking why I didn't come to the pub. OBVIOUSLY no one told me they would be there. Well shit.
Do you believe in miracles /bet/?
Stake a medium on Iceland +1 tomorrow.
>>69178450
Tears buddy. West London meet up with me and Hass. You're on the guest list.
>>69178166
Was JUST about to ask if this was the addict bet.
On MARGE
>>69178600
Hitting up Liquid desu
>>69178166
laying this
Can we get a muggy acca for tomorrow PLEASE?
>>69177216
>The worst country in the world to have played more than two penalty shoot-outs is England,
I..it's coming home, i...it's coming home
:(
>>69178970
n-next time m8
>>69178488
France are, much like the other top teams in the Euros, T E Z.
Iceland & Wales the only teams who look like they're in a fucking championship. Offering the wife's daughter, her bull & her boyfriend to Satan for an Iceland win tomorrow.
VERY young, mostly U18 side out for Kraze, Weston +2.25 is value even if they are shit.
>>69178722
>Flashbacks to sixth form
Fingered so many girls in Uxbridge
>>69177216
>Chile
>0% success rate
How old is this?
>>69179247
teamsheets?
>>69179383
1 year, read the correction
>>69179247
Yeah Kraze are a team that should never be on a minus desu
>>69179401
Comparing players mentioned on Twitter to the stream, pitch is also dire + wet
Just bet £1000 on Bremain lads
>bet £300 of Germany to score their next penalty at 22:41 as my betslip shows
>skybet mark it as a loss, claim that I bet on germany's third penalty
>they have a tweet at 22:40 for the third penalty
How can I report these cunts?
>>69179692
just give up. you lost your bet
>>69179692
Report it again and tweet about it so it gets attention
>>69179692
I hate to say it but post it on twitter or plebbit to give it exposure. You aren't getting your money otherwise.
>>69179692
Here's their tweet, a minute before I made the bet
>>69179692
Post slip
Kansas City SW @1.9 too
over 3.5 on Phili VS Houston game @ 3.0
easy and free money
>>69179692
>bet £300
Fucking why, just flush notes down the drain m8
>>69180204
>betting @ 1.29
>mainstream
>lotto
>skybet
>>69179692
thats what you get for betting on mug shite
tears tbqh
>>69180204
lololol they're refunding the stake. Inspect element works!
>>69180365
meh, I'm up about £4k today and was betting silly, I also put £200 on muller and ozel to score
>>69180212
Isn't betting banned in the US?
I've got £20 riding on Iceland beating France before extra time. 8/1 odds.
Do you guys think I'll make some money tomorrow?
Frederickburg have been in a slump lately and I reckon Virgina will get more past them, on 0.0 for a smed. Beat them 4-2 a couple of weeks ago.
>>69180444
First day here?
>>69180569
Unlikely
does anyone have that /bet/ meme comic that's the OP image sometimes?
>>69180433
pmsl
>>69180569
The ride ends here. Don't know why people are overrating Iceland so much, England are just an awful team, France isn't that spectacular but they don't have Joe Hart in nets.
>NIGHT SHIFT
1/3
>>69180595
Yes and last, not interesting in betting just popped in to see what you lot talk about.
>>69180584
Or it might have been Frederick FC who they beat 4-2, need to check my notes
>NIGHT SHIFT
2/3
>>69180444
Only if you live in states that aren't free
>>69180687
>>69180779
Wouldn't wanna spend my saturday night any other way.
>NIGHT SHIFT
3/3
>>69180841
>>69180779
>>69180687
there's at least two L A R G E steaks tonight tbqh
>>69180907
Medium rare or well done?
pmsl, full refund and £50 for free
>>69180961
forgot image
>>69180212
Price is now @1.08. Lewdie shrewdie
The fuck, £50 freebet on odds of 1.2 only gives me a return of £10
>>69181041
>inspect element works
>>69181207
You dont get to keep the stake dummy
>>69181260
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, well I'm a dummy.
>Fell for the Weston meme
>>69181041
PLEASE can I have five of those pounds, honestly.
>>69181041
Can I have five pounds?
>>69181372
I've sent you enough money Sunhil or whatever your name was
>mfw zaza missed his penalty
Goodbye potential italia winnings
FUCKING WOPS
Also Day 4 of Juve tryhards complete
£20 ==> £28.40
Looking to hit fifty by the end of the week :/
>that keeping
jej, I'll take it
>>69181437
I thought I was shit at this
>>69181419
Don't think that's true m8 unless you're Derfel
>>69181338
Very angry at that anon
>>69181437
Love this progress.
>>69180759
Yeah it was Frederick, not Fredericksburg.
>>69181488
I am, dropped my trip because my TT is dire. Starting a new one.
Why does everyone make fun of juveguy?
>>69181169
hahahahahaha, NEVER bet on a team to win in MLS; over goals is the only winner.
Was on over 4.5 @ 11.0
>>69181814
That was a baseball bet lad. Also had Montreal +2
>>69181535
Fair enough, do not want to beg from U
>>69180433
what you been on today lid?
>>69181372
How many people have actually sent you fivers?
>>69180212
This footy or some meme sport? Can only find the slags
what does pmsi mean?
>>69181969
Was baseball. Then they scored 5 times and that price flew away. Been using ML and SW interchangeably recently, probably should stop
>>69182028
No worries pal, must be like me saying soccer
>>69182028
pmsl. I just bet 5 euros on sporting kansas city MLS team at 1.87
>>69181997
Price may stop increasing
>>69181997
Putting mywifes son injured
>>69181856
Over 4.5 on Guangzhou, over 3.5 on Jiangsu Suning, over 3.5 on Henan Jianye, over 3.5 on Tianjin Quanjian, over 3.5 on Shenzhen Kaisa and over 3.5 on Dalian Yifang.
I had a few smaller bets, but I had £150 on each one of these, a few lost but I'm happy with the result.
Got £200 on over 3.5 of each of the MLS games tonight and then an accumulator of £150 on over 1.5 for each one. If that wins I think I'm done with betting for a while; the amounts I'm playing with right now have started to affect my health.
holy shit Uruguay actually won
pseudoshrewdies literally fuming right now
>>69181915
two
>>69182162
>up 4k
>lists 5 bets with £150 stakes
>some lost
yeah so what else?
Will go back to begging full-time if Romania lets me down tomorrow
Allsaints sale is decent, like some of their suede jackets
If Tsonga wins tomorrow. Party at mine.
>>69182270
Most of them had odds of between 2.2-11. The Chinese are like the Americans when it comes to scoring goals, it's either barely any or tons.
>>69182401
that still is nowhere near 4k though is it mate
Is Independentie SW THE altitude bet of the night?
>>69182346
tipster is back eyyyy
>>69182532
I think we have the same mind m8. I was thinking the same thing, but bovada doesn't have it in play ;_;
>>69182532
>Independentie
HOW big?
>>69182553
So so proud of my Djoko tip thay I came back.
pmsl at this 1xbet ad
>>69182442
>6 bets in total, 4 won and 2 lost.
(150 x 2.2) + (150 x 6) + (150 x 11) + (150 x 8) - (150 x 2) = £3,730. Plus there's another ~£200 from the smaller bets
Maths is hard!
>>69182716
Was watching the stream earlier and their keeper is tez so I'm worried they'll concede again otherwise it's certainly worth a smed at least.
>>69182688
Uncanny desu.
Can't you use a broker like asianodds? It's on SBO, pinnacle etc
>>69182837
8/10
great service, would be trolled again
>>69182302
Don't worry, I have finished my model and it's looking promising, will start posting my tips once I have tracked 100+ games. So far 71% (overall, including predictions the model didn't consider value), 9 Winners with odds betwen 2.6 and 3.75. Still only 45 games tracked though.
>>69182856
Probably, but I cba. Would be good in the long run for me most likely, but I'm not sure how much longer I'll be around
>>69182919
>I'm not sure how much longer I'll be around
Y-you have plenty to live for p-pls ;_;
>>69183030
kek, it's not that. Grad school is starting to get busier and busier and I don't have time to check soccerway before my bets ;)
>>69182919
God will put you in hell if you kill yourself. So it's a lose lose.
>>69182895
drooling for it desu
Pmsl at people assuming someone is killing themselves when they say they might not be around.
>>69183219
I'm being ironic like my usual zany self :^)
How to post an acca on TT? I've got 4 tips for tomorrow but no point in having them singles.
>>69183326
custom tip
>>69183326
Pretty sure I explained this to you before. Just make a custom event, call it an acca, and write the tips in the analysis
smed on Washington Nationals ML @2.05
>Independiente STILL haven't scored
>>69183522
Wanna bong Hass' ears
>>69183102
Fair enough, might have to self exclude myself come September. It beggars belief but I finished this year with a first, but only just, so I'm still going to have to work pretty hard next year if I want to graduate with one. Although exams are gonna be piss third year, got diagnosed with ADHD (yes it's a real thing you cunts) and I'll have an extra 30 minutes for timed examinations.
I'm hoping a first will outweigh my lack of 'extra-corricular' activites pmsl. Was gonna do camp America this summer but I bottled it. Might take up rock climbing our summat
>>69183449
Laying this
