/britfeel/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
wagekeks should be sleeping edition
>>24966933
1st for lisa simpson . 2
give me a cozy midnight movie I can watch
first for lebkuchen
>>24966982
Dirty Pair Project Eden.
>>24966933
Does anyone know when the Louis Theroux scientology documentary is coming out?
>>24966982
Just finished watching this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6C5WwammH90
Poleaboo has a driving theory test tomorrow
Need to plot his route to the test centre and wake up before noon
Last time he was there, a female expressed interest in him but that was so!long ago, not capitalising is one of the biggest regrets of his life
well lads it's been over 120 hours since I last ate something~
>tfw the denial is wearing off and I might have to accept I have an eating disorder
I don't know what to do anymore. It's getting really out of hand. The worst part is that doing this gives me good feels when I know it shouldn't. I'm beginning to think that I can't stop myself. Will probably go to sleep and force myself to eat something tomorrow~
>tfw got to get up for work in 7 hours
>sitting drinking coffee
i don't even give a fuck lads
>>24967011
It's not coming out.
>Parents smoked around me for my entire childhood.
>Started vaping when I suggested that they might save some money.
>Took up pipe smoking because I missed the smell/taste of tobacco and every now and again like a smoke.
>Go to parent's house for pre-christmas visit for reasons, light up my pipe.
>They scream at me because they don't want to smoke and I'm making them want to smoke.
Fucking vapers.
>>24967084
>a female expressed interest in him
Greentext now lad.
>>24967086
Just think of a delicious meal, or go for a long walk in the cold tomorrow and stop at a pub on the way back for a stew or something.
You'll never have wrists as skinny as mine.
Why live?
>>24967107
Why not? What happened?
>>24967086
You want me to order you a takeaway? I will if you want tilde. You should eat.
>>24967151
I have really girly wrists also.
>>24967166
>TFW remembering cheap 8 pound huge take away pizzas from this place in London
Run by Muslims, but what isn't in London anyway?
>>24966982
the grand budapest hotel
Polish female was called Alise in case poleaboo forgets
>>24967135
>Late 2009
>Poleaboo has finished his driving theory test, collected his test results and is finding his way out of the building
>A female approaches him from behind and initiates conversation by asking him how it went
>He brags, says he got 47/50
>She trumps him, 49/50
>doesn't know what else to say
>They continue to walk together despite him drastically slowing his pace
>bends down to pretend to do his shoelace
>she waits for him to finish
>He gets up and speeds past her
>>24967236
>8 quid pizza
>cheap
chicago town do better pizzas at a fraction of the price
>>24966933
>fucking minorities are ruining this country!
>"you expect me to get a job and work? what are you some sort of slave driver?"
free figures
neat
>>24967236
Rajas in Rochdale do 3 12" pizzas for 12 quid
>>24967049
I love these old films but don't have the patience to sit through them.
>>24967272
kek, that isn't expressing interest.
>>24967393
She initiated conversation and voluntarily existed in the same proximity as poleaboo
That is rare for females or even people in general
>tfw taking a gram of trenbolone a week
>eating 3500 calories with 300g protein a day
>killing it at the gym 4-5 days a week
>spending hundreds a month on anabolics/AIs and extra food
I don't even know why I'm doing this, I guess I just need a goal(outside of wow/path of exile) otherwise life would be too boring to be worth living.
>>24966997
>Poleaboo was genuinely grateful for the help and followed through with it as best as he was able,
Get to fuck. You did absolutely nothing until it was far too late.
>When he made those comments he was thinking of how it started off, of the detective, uni and classmates who sought to ignore and punish him
...you know what? I officially give up with you.
Harassing course colleagues, harassing fellow employees, turning up to work and running away without telling anyone because a door was locked: whose fault was that? Not /r9k/'s. Not theirs.
It was your fault. All of these problems have been caused by you and only you.
People on here tried to help you for a long time. They gave you all of this help and guidance and you did nothing to solve your problems. You've blamed everyone else for everything and have never fully admitted to ANYONE that it was your own actions that lost you your accountancy qualification, lost you your McJob, and lost you your job at that theme park. The Polish girls on your course, the people at McD's you bitched about, the theme park workers you never got on with: they are blameless.
The worst bit of it all? You still believe everyone is out to get you for no reason. You think it's the world against "poor little Poleaboo who did nothing wrong". Let me tell you something, lad: you did more things wrong in six months than most people have done wrong in their entire lives. Until you realise this and admit your actions, you will be eternally fucked.
Don't bother replying to this because I won't be reading it. You are ungrateful, unable to be helped and a completely deluded moron with no hope for the future.
>>24967775
Is there any hope m8s?
sunday night feel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUGZq02cYIY
>>24967775
I can drink to that.
>>24967649
Hope you're using at least a TRT dose of test mate. If not, do your research and get on it. All the best.
>>24967775
>It was your fault. All of these problems have been caused by you and only you.
Because of anxiety, how can you not understand that?
Poleaboo doesn't want to think and act in certain ways but he can't help it
>People on here tried to help you for a long time. They gave you all of this help and guidance and you did nothing to solve your problems. You've blamed everyone else for everything and have never fully admitted to ANYONE that it was your own actions that lost you your accountancy qualification, lost you your McJob, and lost you your job at that theme park. The Polish girls on your course, the people at McD's you bitched about, the theme park workers you never got on with: they are blameless.
They're not blameless, the park workers outright bullied him and the Polish girl had him fired
But yeah, if Poleaboo had taken down or not started the blog, he'd be safe, but on the other hand he needed the blog to stop himself from topping himself
>The worst bit of it all? You still believe everyone is out to get you for no reason. You think it's the world against "poor little Poleaboo who did nothing wrong". Let me tell you something, lad: you did more things wrong in six months than most people have done wrong in their entire lives. Until you realise this and admit your actions, you will be eternally fucked.
Poleaboo knows he deserved to be punished, he accepts that, it's just that the punishment is excessive. At the end of the day all he did was say mean things on the internet?
Does that warrant being held overnight in the cells? It's hell and a punishment on its own
>Don't bother replying to this because I won't be reading it. You are ungrateful, unable to be helped and a completely deluded moron with no hope for the future.
Please, you're my friend
>>24967939
im just using 200 test to keep things functional.
>>24967958
>Because of anxiety, how can you not understand that?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>24967958
I knew it, told you his 'm-muh anxiety' would come into it.
>>24967958
>Please, you're my friend
Does poleaboo have any friends? Does poleaboo have any idea that the people here don't consider him a friend at all?
>>24967992
>can't understand how crippling anxiety can be
normie pls
>>24968034
The things Poleaboo has done go past social anxiety.
>>24968010
The vocal minority respect poleaboo and his struggle
>>24968034
>"i have anxiety"
>don't have a problem with setting up spy cams
>don't have a problem with going to uni
>does a placement year
>gets other jobs
>"anxiety"
>>24968090
Nice try pakiboo. We know it's you.
>>24967958
look at this batty boy
>>24968080
Not really, they all follow the theme of craving human acknowledgment, simulating social interaction without the painful elements
Just saw this poleaboo shit posted on /brit/ over at /int/
Anyone care to fill me in on this? Could do with some cheeky banter desu lads
>Was getting 3000+ daily hits on the blog for a while
Could you blame him for continuing to update it?
For someone with low self-esteem it was a life saver
>>24968122
Mate, they don't.
If his anxiety was as bad as he claims, he wouldn't have been able to do those jobs.
This is someone using an excuse to constantly try and get out of being held to account.
>>24968193
No
You're too late to the party, newfriend
>>24968224
Damn shame lad.
>>24968095
>>24968202
He forced himself at those jobs because he was forced to (End of NHK) and he was trying to improve himself but he still exuded an uncomfortable, unconfident energy
Still couldn't make eye contact, shook like a leaf, stuttered and couldn't initiate conversation, even to ask to use the toilet
>>24968090
Disagree
>>24968283
>(end of NHK)
Do you mean Welcome To The NHK?
Are you saying you got those jobs solely because you followed the end of that?
>>24968201
Being a freakshow is good for self esteem?
>>24968283
>>24968201
>>24968122
>>24968090
>>24968034
>>24967958
t. Rasheed Ali Khan Mohammed Omer Abassi ibn Rasheed
>>24967485
There's a differenc ebetween expressing interest and not being rude
>>24967958
You're a fucking nutter m8
>>24968329
Attention, gives you self worth by giving the impression you are valuable, it's good you exist, you'd be missed
>>24968323
At the end, when his allowance was cut he came to the conclusion, the Hikikimori can look for a job etc when he is forced to in order to survive
>>24968364
Why talk/walk at all? It's not common behaviour
>>24968394
>At the end, when his allowance was cut he came to the conclusion, the Hikikimori can look for a job etc when he is forced to in order to survive
You needed an anime to tell you this?
Holy fuck you're more broken than you've led people to believe.
>>24968413
Talking to people who ahve just come out of a simialr experience is very similar, then walking with them after you've spoken to them is also normal becaus eit would look rude to walk away from them
>>24967346
you'd have to pay me to take that garbage
someone linked me her, might as well post
shame this place is full of normie cunts
>>24968462
fuck off quavers
>>24968489
Don't reply to tripfags
>>24968613
this tbqvhwy
>go to a bar
>have never seen a pajeet barman
>ever
strange, I've seen africans and paki bar staff but never any indians.
Guess they're just too fucking smelly, judging by my interactions with them in the gym.
When will winter end, this is the worst season ever. Darkness and cold.
>>24968710
winter is coming xD
>>24968710
Winter is the best season, summer is shit
>>24968771
>>24968821
Winter is shit. It's bitterly cold. It gets dark too soon. Christmas is depressing. We might get some snow in January or February, and when that happens everything will come to a halt. As this country can't function when there is the tiniest bit of snow.
>>24968908
>not sweaty
>free days off work
>maximum comfy times
nah mate, you are mistaken
>>24968394
>Attention, gives you self worth by giving the impression you are valuable, it's good you exist, you'd be missed
You're really unravelling.
>>24968684
seen a young paki girl in aldi today staring at me across the checkouts for buying vodka
>>24968975
Least he didn't fuck up by posting anything criminal like last time
Next year I'll have been unemployed for 5 years. Haven't had a job since I was 23, used to be skinny and athletic. But now here I am almost 16 stone sitting in my parents house on a website originally made to talk about Japanese cartoons on after two in the morning. Where did it all go so wrong? Just fuck my entire life senpai
>Tfw no britfeel friends
Going to try to talk to people on Omegle but they're probably the only people on the internet more autistic and sex starved than this place. Wish me luck.
>>24969350
Update us on the search for people not on the spectrum.
>>24969341
why did you think we care about this
>>24969391
It's /britfeel/, this is pretty much what this thread is for.
>>24969427
it's not for you to blog about your sad existence, fuck off to reddit
>>24969451
Actually yeh, it is to talk about all of our sad existences.
>>24969391
You sound like a waste of your dads ejaculate.
>>24969341
Poleaboo is glad go find someone worse off than himself
Lead the way, brother, teach the normies a lesson and I'll follow
Not even kidding, it's not going to get better, we need to end it on our terms
>>24969341
>>24969391
Don't listen to him, I care mate.
You're basically most of us in 5 years time.
How is life in the future?
>Tfw you just want a place where people can be how they are and speak their honest opinions and it'll be fine but even here on r9k in /britfeel/ there are countless cunts trying to impress in a way that they think will make others think they are such a cool dude for hating 'normies' which is also known as anyone who is not in their exact situation and doesn't hate the exact specific things they do
There's literally nowhere people can just be, is there?
Even this place which is supposed to be a refugee has to be a fucking popularity contest of who has the smallest dick.
It's fucking bullshit man.
>>24969650
Reddit desu. Not even joking, but some of the subreddits are nice as fuck.
>sleeping patterns
Yeah na not a fan
>tfw you're down in a hole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdOycmgsM4A
>>24969650
This place really is stuck in a whirlwind of calling anyone more well off socially than you a normie and anyone worse off an autist. A chill place to just talk would be nice.
>almost 3, gotta be up at 7 for work
Gonna be a great day lads
Just realised it's Sunday evening and not Saturday anymore. Being dark all the time and not going outside much doesn't half confuse you.
It's monday
akari is in the britfeel thread!
>>24970043
/brit/ on /int/ lad
>>24970350
It's Monday m8
>>24970674
So it is. Fuck. I should probably do something, like hoover or something.
>>24969763
back to brit pal
>>24970807
make a list of stuff to tomorrow, like hoover, tidy, clean whatever then sleep now
>>24970901
I only woke up about 4 hours ago though. I feel pretty awake.
>>24966933
I really should be tbf
>comfy smug neet frog dot jpg
I need to pee but its cold
who /stillup/ here
>>24973206
/here/ desu m8
>>24973206
>>24973218
I'm on episode 72 of Three Kingdoms. It's pretty good lads.
I'M NOT SICK BUT I'M NOT WELL
Bit of a quiet thread lads.
I'm up drinking and listening to Time by ELO. Cracking album, haven't heard it in ages.
>>24973368
Feels like a never ending stomach ache is upon me.
>tfw still up
>still up
who /real nigger hours/ here?
>>24975248
/smashindatmothafuckinlikebutton/ reporting
>>24975248
>>24975269
Still up fuckers. Bored as shit.
15 mins of aerobics and stretches this morning. (Didn't want to overdo it since I have a 8 hour shift today. Need to make sure I have time to hit the showers also)
Walking to work, 20 mins walk there and 20 back. Try to work standing as much as possible.
Should burn around 400 calories today.
Feeling pretty good about myself still. Hopefully I can keep this up and start dropping the lbs.
Just need to make sure I keep eating salad/yoghurt for lunch, snack on a few nuts if I have to, and not go mad on my dinner no matter how hungry I get. Avoid snacks, or at least eat fruit.
The one thing I do hate about exercising when fat is how your saggy belly slaps you all the time. Especially when doing jumping jacks.
I also look fucking ridiculous also but its got to be done. Can't afford a gym membership yet.
Gotta keep trying though right robobros?
think I'm still drunk, I should be hungover
Jeremy Kyle is starting its 'Festive Fallouts' today. Seasons beatings!
Good morning on this frosty day.
I had the most fucked up dream last night
I was a tranny, in a school where they teach you to be a good one and Mrs Doubtfire was the headmaster. She called me into her office and said my behaviour wasn't good and told me off for writing 'i want to be a tranny to get 500 big ones a month from the government' on my application. I made up some great shit about how I was scared then the place flooded so I went to get on the coach home. On the way I thought to do up my hoodie so nobody would see the changes and wondered what i'd do about getting girls in the future like this. I suddenly wanted to kill myself and wished I had never done it. Then I woke up thanking God that I am still a guy. It was one of the worst nightmares I have ever had.
>>24978171
>I suddenly wanted to kill myself and wished I had never done it
The natural conclusion of all trans people.
It's ok though, gentle anon, it was just a dream :^)
You have 15 seconds to explain why you don't GET OFF YOUR BACKSIDE AND GET A BLOODY JOB??
>>24978272
>>24977921
Jeremy is so redpilled. Everytime I see his show he takes the side of the guy and calls the women a slag who'd get boo'd 'if she was a bloke'.
morning lads
might go get a haircut. scared though
>>24978365
Post hair. Then we shall decide accordingly.
>>24978272
i-i tried, i filled out applications...
>>24978348
He has been dealing with the scum of Britain for a decade, he has seen too much to be PC now.
how r u guys today
>>24978488
>''Oh...tried did ya...''
>Gets in your face
>''How about you try a little harder then you lazy git''
>Audience whoop in jubilation
>>24978563
>"But Jeremy..."
>leans in
>I served in the armed forces
>>24978555
Feel like my heart is about to explode senpai, I'm so paranoid desu
What r u up to rn?
>>24978563
>>24978272
I imagine watching Jeremy Kyle is the closest we'll get to the feeling wealthy Romans must have had watching petty criminals/escaped slaves killed by animals or trained gladiators in the arena.
Feels so brutally exhilarating.
pretended to be ill so I don't have to go to work today haha
>>24978647
absolute madman
what are you gonna do today instead?
been on a booze bender since Thursday lads. currently drunk as fuck on me special brew ans wine
>jeremy kyle is on
>some obese guy got dragged to a training camp because he was fat by his gf
>she is also obese
>is still obese to the point where it might harm her chances of having a child
>>24978596
>Episode is in Rotherham
>Get boo'd mercilessly
>>24978658
Shitpost on 4chan listening to Lana Del Rey on repeat. 5th time B2D has repeated now. Later I'll build my ikea desk if I can be arsed to.
>>24978698
Ok, you win Jeremy Kyle top trumps.
>>24978730
She's an Irish sympathiser though.
>>24978758
shame she smokes like 20 cigs an hour
>>24978772
and also can't sing for shit live
>>24978758
>>24978772
She's still a qt3.14 and an excellent singer. One of her underrated songs but my favourite:
youtube.com/watch?v=-MreomnQrpw
>>24978788
>in the 'dark'
Does that mean rimming?
>>24978800
No it means in the dark. If you want something to wank to she literally describes eating her out in:
youtube.com/watch?v=lk554s9Tpus
>sleep comes hard
>aches in legs
>headaches and stomach aches all the time
anyone else /fucked/ here?
Poleaboo would like to apologise to everyone who thought they tried to help him. He is eternally grateful for their altruistic intentions and considers them to be he best friends of all time, they knew him better than anyone and were patient with him.
Sorry for disappointing you.
And sorry for being stupid, unmotivated, entitled, having poor social skills and generally being human garbage.
Everything that has happened to Poleaboo has been his own fault, he and no one else for that matter are entitled to friendship, interaction or even acknowledgement from other human beings. These things are not a right, they are a privilege.
Poleaboo should have been fired from both of his jobs on the grounds of generally being shit at them and not integrated well with the rest of the workforces.
The uni was wrong to suspend poleaboo, they should have just expelled him.
The courts were wrong to simply fine him, they should have brought back hanging, poleaboo would have tied the noose around his neck himself.
In short, thank you, sorry, hope you'll forgive me and we can be friends again.
Whatever happens, happens. Doesn't matter if the end is coming near, poleaboo only made it this far thanks to you.
Reddit cunts are so fucking insufferable
>10am
>nothing interesting will happen till at least 4pm
>no good food in
>nothing to drink
>can't sleep
>showers broken
Why live again?
Fuck sake lads, some inbred has vandalised the Mosque near me.
Christmas good cheer indeed.
>>24978882
>driving cars onto trains
>what a time we live in
I'm pretty sure that as long as cars have existed people have driven them onto fucking trains. I cannot believe that concept is so alien to those cunts.
And I thought 4chan was filled with 12 year olds.
>>24978970
>vandalised the mosque
>inbred
Absolutely friendly reminder that pakis are not allowed in these threads.
I've yawned like 10 times in a row and want to get comfy in bed so bad.
Yet I never feel like this at night, could stay up until 4am feeling lethargic but never sleepy/yawning. Fuck sake.
>>24979001
fuck off, you tedious cunt
>>24979039
Shouldn't you be outside of a school right now picking your target, Ahmed? You don't want to get sloppy seconds from your brothers.
Morning all~
How's it going today?
I ended up staying up late last night writing my thoughts on various things. It's actually quite nice to vent things like that even if nobody will ever read them. Should probably get something to eat soon since I'm going on 6 days now.
Hope you have a good day!
>>24979001
Bang out mate, everyone is accepted here.
Your parents have arranged a blind date for you at a nice French restaurant in town.
You arrive a couple minutes early, go to your table and order a drink to try and calm your nerves.
Your date arrives: it's Holly. What do you do?
>>24979062
Careful with that edge, kiddo, you'll hurt yourself
>>24979001
There's nothing comfy about racism. It's not their fault you're stuck here with the rest of us.
>Boss is talking to a group of guys in the office without me
>Listen in, he's telling them all the details of what I'm working on and what's happening next
>He hasn't said a word to me about their stuff or asked me how I'm getting on
Ruh roh
>>24979089
Ask her if I can smell the inside of her shoes for 30 quid.
Kebab Internet Defence Force are monitoring this thread I see. Absolutely disgusting.
>>24979108
>Kebab Internet Defence Force
Well meme'd
Fuck off
>>24979106
Supreme Orbiter Schofield runs in, "Holly, is he bothering you?"
>let her answer
>talk to him
>assert your dominance
>>24979210
>Talk to him
Phil is a good lad, I'm sure we can work this out.
oh god im awake.
got to go to the opticians at 11:25
then go to the vets
its so cold an horrible, im gonna be grumpy as fuck. and theyre gonna try screw me outta 40 quid for thin lenses which I kinda need for my frames.
>>24979074
I've been up since like 6pm yesterday.
Spent most of the night doing nothing of note.
Right now I'm too tired to really do anything, but I'm trying to stay awake as long as possible (targeting 11pm tonight) so I can do a hard reset on my sleep pattern and get back to being awake during the daytime. If not today, then hopefully by before christmas.
>monday
>not at work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNZK5IxvnMs
>>24979225
Supreme Orbiter Schofield throws you his best icy glare; it's not easy to look menacing when you've built you're entire career around being unendingly amiable, but he does he best.
He waits for you to speak:
>"Look, Phil, I was just having a joke with Holly - I know she must get some weirdo fans."
>"Jesus Christ, Phil, have you been following her? Where the fuck did you come from?"
>"Nothing at all like that, Phil, won't you sit and eat with us?"
>Your own suggestion.
>>24979298
B
>"Jesus Christ, Phil, have you been following her? Where the fuck did you come from?"
>>24979351
What are you doing? There is no way you are going to pass a speech check with him with swearing and a put down.
>>24979351
Schofield is visibly shaken by this challenge. Holly turns her voluptuous body towards him, clearly expecting an explanation herself.
"N-no n-nothing like that," he stutters and laughs uncomfortably, before adding, "I j-just wanted to make sure Holly was alright when I heard she was going on a blind date."
>Ask him if he's stalking her.
>Tell him he's pathetic.
>Let Holly answer.
>Your own suggestion.
>>24979404
Well, that's me told. I suck at RPGs.
>>24979399
Scho cone is too much of a beta, just hearing a swear word will put him in his place.
Poleaboo is off to take his driving theory test
>>24979404
Let's the qtpi answer.
>You will never shoot up a school with Philip Schofield
Looks like no wagekucking for me tonight. Some staff on staff stabbing happened at my Tesco.
>>24979464
Holly, looking as stunning as ever in a low-cut red dress, says to him, "Come on, Phil, you know we've talked about this so many times. We're really good friends, but you don't need to worry about me when I'm dating. I know you want me to find a nice guy like you, and you're like a brother to me, but I can't have you constantly watching out for me. I'd like you to leave now, Phil."
You see a single salty tear begin to form in Schofield's eye. He looks down, utterly dejected, and leaves the restaurant.
Holly turns back to you, "Sorry about that, he told me he loves me and now is trying to make sure I don't end up with a bad guy. It's kind of sad."
>Tell her a bit about yourself.
>Choose something to order.
>Order her a drink.
>Bitch about Schofield some more.
>Your own suggestion.
>>24979239
>oh god im awake.
every fucking day
Life is okay when I'm shitposting, but It's depressing that this is all I'm capable of doing.
Assisted suicide feels like it would be a godsend sometimes.
>>24979557
>Tell her a bit about yourself, using Poleaboo's information/life.
>>24979557
This one is hard, is she the kind of stacey that likes making fun of betas or does she care about him?
I would ask her something about herself, I dunno, where she grew up.
>>24979655
She's friendzoned Phil, we're blatantly next tbqh.
>>24979639
Don't know enough about Poleaboo so will run with something else, sorry anon.
>>24979679
We can do this, if we bitch about Phil we will seem like a desperate beta trying to feign alpha. If we just move on and ignore him, she'll respect our dominance.
Hey lads rate my new rap, young MC from ireland
Say listen when I was 11
Started school in fucking year 7
12 got kicked out school
Started thinking I was fucking cool
Then 13 I robbed my first Car
Handbrake up with the show window
Said to the Police man can't catch me
Next week yes I'll be 14
15 I made my Cd
called myself the wicked Mc
16 we sniffed cocaine, Up the nose and into the brain
>>24979751
It makes me wish the potato famine had been more effective.
>>24979765
Clicc like anyway need more subs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FENJIDecy5s
>>24979777
Sorry. I like the trips, but I don't like that 'song' so I cannot in good conscience click the like button. Lying on the internet could lead to others lying on the internet.
>>24979655
>I would ask her something about herself, I dunno, where she grew up.
Holly seems genuinely glad that Phil is gone. As she takes a seat, you ask her: "So, I suppose we better start at the beginning: where are you from?"
She smiles, "Well, I'm from West Sussex originally; my dad worked for a double-glazing firm and my mum was an air stewardess. I still haven't really got used to the fame myself! Anyway, what's that you're drinking? Do you mind if I order a drink?"
>"Be my guest, Holly."
>"It's a [name your cocktail], here, I'll order one for you."
>Order her a [name a drink].
>Your own suggestion.
>>24979797
Whats ur main issues with it mate
>>24979821
It's a Black Tooth Grin, here, i'll order one for you.
>>24979821
>>24979835
Hold on, off to have lunch for ~30 mins. Will continue HollyQuest when I get back.
>>24979825
I don't like that particular genre of music.
>>24979074
Just eat some yoghurts or an omlete or something. Then build up to real food.
>have to phone my therapist today and have a conversation on the phone and make an appointment or they'll terminate my place
>I really fucking hate talking on the phone
I can't do it lads I'm fucked, I can't bring myself to phone them. What the fuck do I do now? I fucking hate this bullshit
Just fucking kill me I'm tired of this shit now.
>>24979886
Fair mate cant please all folk
>>24979903
Why don't you just plan the next appointment at the end of the last one?
>>24979525
Details? Is the one you work at as enriched as this Asda?
>>24979918
I haven't been to an appointment yet
They sent a letter on Friday and that said I have to ring them and talk to them on the phone by the 15th, if I don't phone them it by then it says they'll assume I don't need their services anymore. What kind of genius came up with that? Surely they deal with a lot of people with social anxiety who literally can't talk on the phone before
What you lads getting for Christmas?
>>24979905
/innit/
>>24979946
Apparently some night staff lad stabbed up another member of staff early hours of monday morning.
It's starting to get enriched. Seen a few headscarf people on the shopfloor. Before that, there was only about 1 mudslimish person working.
>>24979946
fucking disgusting, I'm so glad I don't live in a city where I'd see stuff like this.
My Asda just has like 2 people working there an the rest is those self serve machines so I don't need to speak to them.
>>24979991
dunno what this means ahahha
Poleaboo is having some success with OkCupid. He hopes this could be the beginning of a new era in his story.
>>24980029
haha lmao
>>24979950
Is it the NHS counselling? If so you don't actually talk to anyone despite it saying so, it's an automatic message that you just hit a few numbers for.
>>24980029
>>24980037
/toogoodtobetrue/ any1?
>>24980030
How did the test go lad?
>>24980030
Post your profile, so that we can give you tips.
>>24980045
Oh shit really?
It says it's from "minds matter NHS foundation trust", is that the same thing? I'll ring them if i don't have to talk to anyone.
>>24979858
>>24979821
>>24979835
>It's a Black Tooth Grin, here, i'll order one for you.
Holly blushes. You're not certain, but you think she is impressed with your assertiveness. You order the drink, and shortly afterwards the waitress places it in front of her. "Cheers," you say, clinking your glass against hers. She takes a sip, then holds back a splutter.
"Blimey, anon, that's a bit strong for me!"
Despite her joking complaint, you notice that the drink is finished after a few more minutes of idle chit-chat, as is yours.
>Order another round.
>Order a bottle of wine and choose food for yourself and Holly.
>Just order food for yourself, let Holly choose her own.
>Your own suggestion.
The bloke at Papa Johns was upset that I wasn't interested in their offers. I just want the pizza mate chill out.
>>24968710
>>24968710
Paki detected.
Get out faggot.
>>24980284
I order another round.
Name me one thing more subhumane than being circumcised.
You can't.
>>24980389
Having skin that isn't white
>>24980389
I feel so sad for you mate...
>>24980372
>I order another round.
Feeling a slight buzz from your first drink, you call the waitress over and order another round of Black Tooth Grins for yourself and Holly.
"Anon, I really shouldn't. I've got to be on air tomorrow morning with Phil..."
>"Screw Phil, you should get the chance to let your hair down."
>Cancel the drinks order, order a bottle of wine and choose food for yourself and Holly.
>"Fine, I'll drink yours when it comes then."
>Your own suggestion.
>>24980509
Don't cancel the order but also order food.
fucked my knee up at work l a d s. apart from that's it has been an enjoyable day so far
>>24980527
Do we order wine as well?
inb4 daterape
>>24980527
Mate, don't get her too pissed. She might be a crying drunk. Black Tooth Grins are 180ml of whiskey with a splash of coke.
>>24967354
>giving money to muslims
>in fucking rochdale
>>24969451
that's literally exactly what britfeel is for
>>24980527
>Don't cancel the order but also order food.
When the next round of drinks arrive you order two rare steaks. Holly, now slightly red in the face. giggles to herself, "Oh good, I like a nice piece of meat." This is going better than expected. You 'Cheers' once more and drink your second Black Tooth Grins while you wait for the food. You feel yourself getting increasingly tipsy - if you both drink much more you'll cross over and become drunk.
>Order wine
>Don't order wine
AND:
What do you talk about with Holly?
>>24969341
Yeah, it all goes to shit in the late 20s mate, I know your feel completely. My longest stint unemployed was two years. I had to make up jobs that I had in the meantime.
>>24980679
Don't order wine, have a water then have some more after that.
Talk to holly about her interests, start talking myself up a bit as well and getting generally flirty.
dentist today lads
getting braces
>>24980720
DENTAL PLAN
Anon needs braces
>>24980284
>>Order a bottle of wine and choose food for yourself and Holly.
do girls actually want me to order food for them on a date? Like is this a thing that happens?
>>24980679
>Holly, now slightly red in the face. giggles to herself, "Oh good, I like a nice piece of meat."
>they're still going with this shitty holly meme story
ENOUGH
>>24980736
Yes it shows you are in control. A beta male is someone who says "I don't mind" or "what are you getting?"
>>24979239
got back from the opticians.
went easier than expected, got the extra thins for 20quid with my nhs voucher.
got a piss sample for the vets at 3:00
so I can chill for a bit. its nice to be comfy again.
postman didn't bring anything, all my parcels are late, think it must be busy at postoffice sorting.
>>24980711
You decide you've had enough to drink for now - you don't want to get too drunk and make an idiot of yourself. Water it is.
You ask Holly about her hobbies outside of TV presenting, modelling,and owning fantastic breasts. She tells you how she loves to cook, and considers herself something of a domestic goddess. Like many other 'trendy' women, she's also keen on yoga. "When I get the rare chance though, there's nothing I love more than a few drinks in the pub with friends. With This Morning, I don't usually get the opportunity though."
While she tells you about herself you do your best to look interested, and try to keep as much eye contact as possible without coming across as a creep. At one point you even brush her hand with yours. You can't tell if it's just the drink or not, but you think she blushes.
>"You know what, let's leave her as soon as we eat and go down the pub tonight."
>Wait for the food to arrive. Keep talking and flirting.
>Get more flirty.
>Your own suggestion.
>>24980821
:^)
>>24980821
Shut up, this is the most fun I will have today.
>>24980830
if I went out for food and someone fucking ordered for me I'd be pissed off
what if they get something I don't like?
where can i get a lonely jobless gf
>>24980876
That's because you're a guy. Women like to be told what to do.
>>24980855
Tough one. The pub might have more alpha chads.
I think Wait for the food to arrive, keep talking and flirting. More flirty at this point might scare her off. Maybe ask if she'd want to go to a pub afterwards.
>>24980389
>live in student flat
>cunt in my house is circumcised
>couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy
>>24980891
then why do women tell me they want to be treated like an equal then
like seriously I assumed if I tried ordering something for a woman she'd flip the fuck out, that's what always happens on tv
god I fucking hate society so much
>>24980907
No, see the deal is now that women pretend not to want to be told what to do, and we are meant to pretend to respect that, then do it 'light-heartedly' and they will like you more for it.
Unless you're not good looking, then it's wrong and disgusting and creepy.
>>24980928
would this be an acceptable way to do it?
>me: what are you thinking about ordering
>grill: I don't know
>me: the x is reallly good here, how about you order x?
>grill: I don't know lol im a fucking idiot please rape my face
>me: we'll have one x and one steak please
>>24980961
Are you an 8/10 or higher? Then yes. Are you average or even slightly ugly? No.
>>24980961
>the x is really good but I'll order steak
no you look like an idiot
you should order 2 x
>>24980896
>I think Wait for the food to arrive, keep talking and flirting.
You're both still tipsy when the food arrives, which only increases your enjoyment of it. The French chef has cooked the steak exactly to your liking, and the accompanying sauce matches it perfectly.
You suggest going to the pub after the meal, and Holly goes slightly redder again, "That'd be lovely... if we don't go somewhere else?"
The date is definitely going well. That is, until she asks you, "So, anon, what do you do for a living?"
>TRUTH: Tell her you're a NEET who lives with his parents.
>LIE: Tell her you have a reasonably well-paying office job.
>>24980961
>not going to a tapas/mezze/asian place and ordering a mix of dishes for you both to share, highlighting your superior knowledge of food girls find 'interesting' because it's foreign
Sigh.
>>24981036
Oh shit.
I want to bang her, but we can't go back to my neet place with parents. Fuck it, going to go for the truth.
>>24981036
tell her I masturbate and shout at Pakis on the internet as part of a well paying (400/month) government psyops program
>>24980821
>I hate OC
>>24981061
>>24981083
>implying these aren't the same answer
>>24981036
go for TRUTH
>>24981036
I bet Holly likes to whip NEETS the foxy minx.
The Polish delivery girl winked at me when she turned up with my pizza. Better order one for tea as well.
