Old Thread: >>25893866
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First for Luna-related RGRE green.
>>25933221
Didn't we use this pick already? Also when Nordanon coming back?
>>25933283
I only have like, 4 rgre pics on my phone and cycle between them.
>>25933324
Good enough
Mares in Canterlot always insist on walking to ths right of the colt to keep the fairer sex from being hit by falling plants and other, sometimes strange, stuff being tossed from second story buldings.
Anon is taking a walk with the princesses, who are having one hell of a time trying to keep him "safe" as he keeps gravitating to the right to get to his favorite food carts that are parked on the side of the road.
>>25933221
Proposing official Horsemarriage™ symbol
Update will happen either when I get home, or if work dies down enough.
>>25931068
Day KF2 soundtrack stuck in head
Be Anon
>its kariokie night down at the local watering hole
>you are there with your friends who insist you give it a try
>you've sang/humed a bit around them and they thought is was really good
>the promise of free drinks for the night finally convinces you
>they think they are bribing YOU with drinks
>ha, suckers
>You have no problem singing
>hopping up on stage you announce that you will be singing a song from earth
>a lot of the mares cheer and some lean in closer
>you make sure your earpro is in and the speakers are all at 11
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvSNYSzASww
>as you sing you see the bar go into a panic
>ponies literally fighting each other to get through the door
>babies, this song isnt that bad
>when you finnish bar is empty, oh well at least your drinks were free
>wake up next morning
>there are trinkets and offereings in your yard
>wtf?
>at the market you also notice Zecora eyeing you up more than usual
>Ponies are wierd
No more CamWhore Anon, life is pain
>>25933755
I greatly enjoy thing.
Also thanks for the music link.
>>25933463
Pic related.
>>25933755
>KF2
I'm refusing to buy it until it's out of early access. How is it now? Is it still feeling a bit content-barren?
>>25933755
>Secret cult in town thinks that Anon is the Old God they (failed to) summoned
>Certain mares in town (eg Lyra, Derpy, Roseluck) start inconspicuously following Anon around town all day, not leaving until he makes it back to his house
>Sometimes ponies pass him and whisper, "Hail S'glhuo!"
>>25933944
I bought it cause I really enjoyed KF
So far it has been enjoyable, however:
Boss Dr Hans faggot needs a tweak
the difficulty spike from normal to hard might need to be planed down a bit
A few large maps need to be added (like farm from KF)
and they could always use more weapons
>>25934023
>S'glhuo
All I can think about when you say that is the singularity from Space Station 13
>>25934052
This is fine too. Turns out that Ponyville is too innocent to actually try and summon a real Old God (or even have a concept of what an Old One is), and they were really just LARPing a session of Space Station 13.Anon was the traitor.
>>25934023
>>25934094
If you want to start a real cult you need to get changelings involved.
>>25934242
Hot monkey love cult?
They'd feed off it for decades.
>>25934242
>changelings discover that anon gives off more love all of ponyville combined
>sneak in at night to cuddle with him
>queen orders that anon's capture is top priority
>>25934363
>Anon willing goes, because alien bug horse sex sounds awesome
>Fucks the brains out of queen
>Queen nearly overdoses on hot monkey dick
>Queen forms addiction to the hmd
>Anon is now formally declared ruler of changelings
>Changeling Satyr offspring everywhere.
>>25934345
>>25934363
Chrysalis would have to enforce a strict curfew to keep control of her hive.
As my xmas present to myself, i finally caught up with this glorious thread.
Although many of you are kinda flaky, my sincere thanks to all the writefags, especially good ol' favs like bnw and frosty, the latter of which is closing in on bnw as my fave thanks to the increasingly humourous way you've been writing. y'all roght.
AnA doing great, and thanks for finishing the barbarian story Shuk.
Durnk for continuing to be the king of oneshots and extended prompts.
And all the rest o' yah.
>>25934439
This had better end in gratuitous incest.
>>25933755
>>at the market you also notice Zecora eyeing you up more than usual
I like it.
>>25933860
Which one was that?
Remember to defend yourself from the matriarchy.
>>25934033 >>25933944
KFdykes, in my RGRE thread? Sup, girls!
I'm still salty they didn't let me to be a support-gunner with the mofucking trenchgun, so I'm waiting until release.
>>25934718
>Teat-twisting
oh-yes.ogg
>>25934634
>Which one was that?
IIRS we only had one, the one that agreed to meet up with gentle nerd pone from ponechan on the next day.
>>25934800
>the one that agreed to meet up with gentle nerd pone from ponechan on the next day
O-oh
>>25933860
I put off doing things a lot. I was also thinking of going back and editing everything so that it was all in second-person, but I'm not sure if I should so that's another reason for putting it off for me.
>>25933324
We have used this picture multiple times and are becoming increasingly efficient at it
>>25934023
>anon thinks it's a joke and counters with a "Hail Hydra"
>>25934718
...Can't rape the willing, Anon.
Looks like heading home is delayed, so prepare for green.
>With winter past and spring starting to show it's face, signs of the next holiday are popping up everywhere.
>Colts are talking about the mares they have their eyes on, or what they're hoping their marefriends will get or do for them.
>Mares are trying to learn what colts want, sneakily of course.
>All in all, not that different from Valentines day back home.
>Here, it's Hearts and Hooves day, and like last year, you're sticking to the fringes of it.
>You're just starting to settle into some social circles, so you're not expecting much besides the possible pity or all my friends get one candy.
>Yeah, the ponies do candy hearts here, since chocolate is apparently poisonous to most sapient species.
>Of course, red and pinks hearts are stuck up everywhere, couples writing their initials in some.
>Even homework and worksheet questions get into the holiday spirit, with more romantic inclinations to them.
>It's not even Hearts and hooves yet, and already you're tired of it.
>Ducking under another heart bedazzled banner, you enter the school proper, heading for your locker.
>Or at least, you would, except that hall door seems to be blocked by a prop wall.
>A wall with a question.
>>25935365
>Scrawled out in pink text is the question 'Is your name Anonymous?'.
>Below it is two big buttons, one that says yes, and one that says no.
>Since you are in fact, Anonymous, you press the yes button, and it makes a *Squee* noise, followed by a section of the wall, shifting aside like a door.
>Curiosity piqued, you duck under the slightly short doorway, only to see another wall not far ahead.
>And with another wall, comes another question.
>'On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this tuft?'
>Below the question is a hole cut out of the wall, and in the hole is a pony's chest, puffed up and sticking out.
>Given the colour of the fur, you can tell almost immediately who it is.
>After all, there's only one pony you know with bubblegum pink fur.
>But who'd say no to the chance to rub a ponies softest patch of fluff.
>Reaching out, you toussle and rub that chest fluff, the pony on the other side accidentally letting out a quiet noise, before pushing into your hand more.
>There's what looks like a chalk board, and a piece of chalk, and with your free hand, you pick up the white stick.
>Still rubbing the ever soft heck out of her chest tuft, you draw a 1, before scratching your chin.
>There's a very quiet sound on the other side, but you can't make it out.
>But, with your chin now no longer itching, you write the 0 down next to the 1.
>There's a sudden squeal, and the fur beneath your fingers dissapears with a pop, and another door pannel slides open.
>Poking your head through the hole, you don't see anything besides another wall.
>Going through the door, you find the third wall and third question.
>'Are you alone for the upcoming Hearts and Hooves day?'
>A yes and a no button are here like last time, and just to have a little fun, you push the no button.
>Dissapointed noises come from the other side, followed by fast scratching sounds, before another wall door pannel opens.
>The question on this wall has been rapidly scratched out, and replaced by another.
>>25935384
>'Who are you going out with?'
"Well, I planned on going out with a friend," you reply, checking the numbers on the lockers.
>Yours will be in the next area, so now you just have to hope there aren't too many more questions or you'll be late for class.
>Except the door to the next area isn't opening.
>There's a tapping on the wall, right behind the question.
"Oh, who? Well, Maybe Spitfire would like to go out with me. I'd have to ask, but I think she has been looking at Soarin' or Joe."
"Really, I was kind of hoping someone would ask me out, I'm not really good with pony romance stuff."
>The door to the wall shoots open, and Cadence hurries through, throwing out her fluffy chest and smiling.
>"Anon, would you like to be my D-date for Hearts and Hooves day?" she asks with a stutter.
>Oh god she's so fluffy.
>Must resist urge to rub the chest.
>Fuck it.
"Yes, I'll go with you," you reply, reaching down and running your hand through her soft fluff.
>Romance may not exactly be on your top priority list, but she went through all this trouble, it'd be mean to not at least try going out with her.
>Oh god her leg is twitching, just from your chest rubs.
"Not to spoil the moment, but we had better get to class, or we'll be late."
>"Oh, right. I've got my stuff already, so I'll just open the doors for us.
>Ducking into the next segment with her, you open your locker and grab your books and binders, idly noticing the question on the wall.
>Multiple choice, asking which type of pony was your favourite, including all of the above.
>>25935403
>The next segment has the question 'Do you dislike popular mares?'.
>Cadence notices you looking at the question and shrugs a bit.
>"It never hurts to ask."
>In the next segment, you find the question, 'Are big mamarries and teats important to you?"
>Your walking partner develops a bit of a blush, which deepens as you enter the next area.
>'Are these big enough?' is written on the wall, with an arrow pointing to a small hole, about where her pelvis would be if she stood on her hind legs.
>The next room is not exactly a question.
>Rather, it just says, 'Put human penis here," with an arrow pointing to a hole at about the same height as the last one.
"A glory hole. Really?"
>"It might have worked. Especially if I let you play with my teats."
>About to rebuke her, you stop and consider before chuckling a bit.
"Okay, maybe it may have."
>Cadence suddenly stops, as if a revelation struck her.
>"Wait, really?"
"Maybe. I doubt it though."
>Smiling, she brushes up against your side.
>"Well, I guess it didn't hurt to put it up."
>Several more walls and somewhat relevant questions go by, including how good was the sex.
>The last pannel comes up, with the question, 'Will you go out with me?' on it.
>As you pass, you push the yes button, which makes confetti shoot out of several spots, covering you and Cadence.
>>25935428
"Okay, maybe not my best idea..."
>"Ah, the teachers won't mind," Cadence says, "at least as long as we don't leave too much of a mess."
>Entering the class, you see that there's still a minute or so before it starts, and most of the class is already here.
>Watching you walk in with Cadence.
>Covered in confetti.
>Okay, so not the most inconspicuous entrance.
>The sign Cadence is giving Mayor Mare probably isn't helping either.
>Quickly heading to your chair, Cadence takes a wider path, passing by some of her other friends.
>And judging by some of the high hooves being passes around, she's spreading the news.
>It's rather embarrasing actually, and you're not like a normal colt.
>Oh well, you did kind of sign up for this after all.
>Sitting next to you, Cadence gives you that friendly warm smile she always wears.
>Yep, things could always be worse.
~~~
>Even though you did technically start dating Cadence, things didn't actually change that much.
>Besides hanging out a little more often, things haven't changed that much for you.
>Sure, you gave up your first kiss to a pony on your sort of first date a couple days later.
>It may have just been watching a play at the local park together, but it felt right, so you finished off the show with a kiss on her cheek.
>Needless to say, she blushed pretty badly, but quickly regained her normal perkyness.
>Also one of the colts in your class saw, and that's what really started the rumor mill.
>By the time Hearts and Hooves day actually arrived, you and Cadence were considered one of the "big couples" of the school.
>The princess and the exotic colt, a match made in Elysium, or so they say.
>In truth, you do actually enjoy spending time with Cadence.
>She's confident, funny and friendly, almost never pushy about anything, and loves it when you rub her chest.
>Admittedly, you're a little hooked on that soft fluff.
>>25935448
>If it wouldn't be weird this early in a relationship, you'd totally take Cadence to bed and use her as a pillow.
>Even so, your body has been dropping hints here and there about what it thinks of some private time with Cadence.
>It's only been like, a week and a half though, and that'd be rushing it a fair bit.
>With it being Hearts and hooves day though, today is looking like it's going to be busy.
>You got a box of candy hearts with custom messages in them, and stowed it away in your locker yesterday, just so you didn't have to sneak it in today.
>The decorations of the past week seem tame compared to the ammount of Hearts floating about, dangling from the ceiling or hanging on walls.
>Arriving at your locker, you find the bow wrapped box still in it's place.
>The sound of hooves approaching from behind makes you quickly close your locker, turing to see Cadence there.
"Good morning, Cadence," you say with a smile, one she returns readily.
>"Good morning to you too, Anon," she replies, before tilting her head, "Is something wrong? You're looking a little nervous."
>>25935464
"Just fine, though I suppose I am a little nervous. This is my first proper Hearts and Hooves day, after all."
>"You'll do fine, Anon. It's not like we've been together for years or anything, it's just a day spent with a really close friend."
>Again, that comforting smile is there, and shouldering your bag, you turn to head to class.
>Something soft suddenly wraps around your back, and you look down to see a wing has been layed around you.
>And Cadence is trying to look nonchalant.
>Dear god it's cute.
>Reaching down, you rest your hand on her shoulder, causing her to tense up for a moment.
>She quickly relaxes however, and the two of you enter class.
>The two of you barely make it to your seats before the bell rings and class starts.
>You can tell some ponies are jealous, even though like a month ago, none of them cared much about you.
>Though the colts are probably more interested in Cadence.
>Doesn't mean you can't bask in the attention a little.
>Classes go by a little faster than normal.
>Probably because this holiday is such a big thing here that lunch time gets extended half an hour, the time taken out of morning classes.
>With the bell's ring, you scoop up your bag and rush to your locker.
>You didn't really have a plan for when to give the treats to her, so a long lunch may be the perfect time.
>The real question now is where should you go with her?
>"Anon, is something wrong?" Cadence asks, coming to a stop behind you.
"No, I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget something," you say, hiding the package in your pack.
>>25935477
>"Well, then are you busy during lunch? I was hoing we could go out to a nice place I know to eat."
"Sure, that'll be great," you reply.
>"Give me a moment to grab my stuff and we'll meet at the front door."
>Closing your locker, you head for the entrance while Cadence runs off to her own.
>Standing outside the front door, you realize you're kind of like the girl waiting for her boyfriend to arrive.
>Or was it the guy who had to wait for the girl because she couldn't choose her clothing...
>Then again, you've seen the girl arriving early to earn some sympathy points since the guy thinks he made her wait.
>Stroking your chin, you're so lost in thought you don't notice Cadence trot up beside you.
>"Hey, what'cha thinking about?" she asks, shocking you back to reality.
"Ah, just things," you reply with all the eloquence you can muster while surprised.
>Which isn't much, it seems.
>"What kind of things?"
"Just thoughts of back home, and how things are different here."
>"I suppose back where you're from, things are all humany, rather than ponyish."
"That's... well, that's one way you could put it."
>"But enough of that thinking, let's get going. We may have a longer lunch, but it isn't that long."
>She saunters off, and you hurry to keep up with her.
>Street after street you follow her, before eventually coming to a somewhat secluded park.
>"I like to come here to be by myself sometimes, since not many ponies ever come here."
>Your stomach growls, and you remember something important.
"I forgot I was planning on buying lunch from the cafeteria today! I didn't pack anything for myself."
>Cadence laughs and pats your side with a wing.
>"Don't worry, I planned for that, and made sure to get enough made for the two of us. And yes, it is safe for humans."
>From her saddlebags, she pulls out a blanket that gets laid out, and containers of food.
>Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, apples, carrots with dip and to top it all off, strawberries and cream.
>>25935493
"This looks good. I'm kind of jealous you have the castle chefs to cook for you."
>"It's not that great. They only make simple stuff like this for me."
>Sitting down with her on the blanket, you pick up a sandwich.
"It's still better than forgetting to make yourself food."
>"Well, you planned on buying lunch, so it's not like you forgot," she says as you take a bite.
>Shrugging, you just enjoy the sandwich.
>Food goes down quickly, and as Cadence packs up the leftover containers, you pull your gift out of your bag.
"I know it's not anything fancy, but I got you this," you say, holding out the box for her.
>She floats it up to her with her magic, smiling.
>"You didn't have to get me anything Anon, though I did get you something too."
>She pulls a box from one of her saddlebags, passing it to you.
>Opening the lid reveals a heart shaped candy, an almost perfect copy of her cutie mark.
"This is beautiful. It almost feels like a shame to eat it."
>"Yours are wonderful too. What made you think to have messages written on them?"
"It's like a candy from home that we use to show love, sort of."
>>25935514
>An almost worried look takes her, and she tilts her head.
>"Sort of?"
"Well, there are ones you can get for friends too, and even ones for people you don't like too.
>Okay, you're not so sure on that last one, but they should be a thing.
>"I think they're the right ones, since I'd give these messages to you as well."
>Noticing your hidden secret at the bottom of the box, she carefully maneuvers the candies around to get at it.
>As a little something extra, you made a romantic coupon book, with coupons for free hugs, kisses and stuff like that.
>It seems like the kind of thing a pony would like.
>As she flips through it, you see her eyes light up, before she leans over and nuzzles your chest.
>"I think you deserve something special for this," she says in a voice that makes your dick swell and your heart pound, "Stand up and close your eyes."
>Complying, you hope that what she said wasn't sarcasm.
>Moments tick by in silence, but you keep your eyes closed, blood pumping to all parts of your body.
>Okay, so the coupons may not have been your best idea...
>>25935526
>Your pants suddenly drop, and your underwear slides down, leaving your excitement exposed to the world.
>A slight breeze chills you for only a moment before something hot and wet slides around your penis.
>And it just keeps going, down and down.
>Okay, the coupons were your best idea ever.
>Every centimeter of you that enters her tingles with pleasure, the band that is her lips squeezing you perfectly.
>Her tongue dances over your dick, sending shocks through your system and leaves you wanting more.
>She starts to pull off, and almost instinctively, your hands reach down to the back of her head, keeping her mouth on your meat.
>You can't see it, as your eyes are rolled back in pleasure, but even with your dick in her mouth, she smiles before going back in.
>Up and down she bobs her head, tongue licking every inch of your meat that she can.
>A pressure slowly builds inside you as pleasure numbs your mind.
>Suddenly, you feel yourself bursting, and your tip hits the back of Cadence's throat.
>Shot after shot of cum shoots into Cadence's willing and accepting throat, the haze of pleasure over your mind slowly lifting.
>A long slow slurp pulls her from your slowly softening member, leaving it with just a sheen of saliva.
>Pulling up your pants, you see Cadence licking her lips with a smile.
>>25935543
>Clothing back in place and mind back to working, you reach out and pull her into a hug, rubbing up and down her back.
"I, that was... Incredible. Is there anything I can do like that for you?"
>Her nose rubs up under your neck, fur soft as can be.
>"That was an extra gift for you, I don't need anything in return, though this hug is nice."
"Then hugged you will be," you say, squeezing her close.
>Squirming a bit, she turns so her back is to your chest, leaving her belly completely exposed to your hands.
>Foolish move, dear pony.
>With one hand, you brush through her thick, soft chest tuft, and with the other, you start slowly rubbing her belly.
>Her wings stir against you, but are held in place.
>Good to know that this kind of stuff gets her going.
"You know, if a blowjob felt that good, I can only imagine how amazing sex must feel."
>"With how long you lasted, it will be incredible for both of us."
"Was it really that long? It only felt like two minutes at most."
>"There's a lot of differences in stamina between colts, but finding ones that go longer than a minute is incredibly hard."
"Some human guys will cum before sex even starts, while others can go for like, fifteen minutes or more."
>"I guess I'm lucky then, since I got you."
"I'd say I'm luckier. I got a friend who helped me become more social, and now that friend is my girlfriend, and is a super snuggly pony to boot."
>Resting there like that, the two of you almost lose track of time.
>After hurrying back to school, the two of you continue the day as normal, the events of that lunch a secret from all.
~~~
>>25935553
>Time with your marefriend, as is the proper term, became more and more intimate, though rarely in public.
>On the surface, it was innocent teen love, sharing lunches and hugs, along with the occasional kiss.
>In private, the two of you were adults, exploring and enjoying every inch of eachother's bodies.
>Or at least, that's what you liked to tell yourselves.
>Upon reflection, it was far more like two horny teens who got told they could have unprotected sex as much as they want and there wouldn't be any repurcusions.
>And that's basically what you did, but it wasn't entirely the truth...
~~~
Thats it for now, pastebin update soonish.
damn shukakakaku
all dat green
>>25935605
And in only 4 days.
>>25935581
Super twist - Anon catches pony AIDS.
>>25935685
Thats what I want to see in a story
>Be anon in RGRE living normal life on horsewelfare as colts can't get good jobs or own land.
>Be imune to pony illnesses... or so you think
>fear catching mild case of pony colds that might turn deadly
>Live days in fear of new plagues crossing species barrier.
>Tell book horse and nurse pony about flu's from birds and pigs, bubonic plagues from rats, anthrax from sheep, and Tuberculosis from cows
>Ponies begin to look at previous outbreaks of diseases.
>Race hatred starts, new age of medicine starts from your knowledge, many creatures shunned for fear of spreading mutated viruses, and bacteria.
>>25935581
This is so awkward that I almost feel like a teenager again myself
>>25935838
I'll take that as a compliment?
>>25935581
I actually want a happy ending for these two.
>>25935945
Then I have written correctly.
>>25936002
Are we getting a happy ending?
Reposting an RGR (or, at least, somewhat mare supremacist) greentext.
One of the few good actual stories that can fit in an image without seeming absurd.Also, the pictures enhance the humour a lot.
>>25936325
At this point, I haven't decided. I could technically go both ways.
>>25934634
>zecora
I might actually continue a oneshot/ or more based on this
>>25936444
Shu, I've spent the last month or so with the Marital problems thread, please don't do this to me senpai.
>>25936579
who said they were getting married? Or even in love?
>>25936600
Not me, I just want a happy ending.
>>25936622
This story will, though that's pretty far down the line.
>>25936642
That's all I wanted.
>>25936642
>though that's pretty far down the line
STORY CONFIRMED 1 MILLION WORDS
>>25936788
Doubtfull, but it will be decently sized, with how I have things sort of planned.
>"Good morning, Princess."
>You smile as your assistant Raven pokes her head into your chambers
"Good morning, Raven," you say as you run a comb through your mane. "I trust that you slept well?"
>Raven grinned, walking into your room with a stack of papers floating in the air next to her
>"Oh, me and the girls didn't get all that much sleep last night," she said with a chuckle. "PileDriver made sure of that."
>You pause mid brush to look at the young unicorn
"PileDriver? I thought that your stallion's name was Taffy Twist?"
>You might have been an old mare but you'd like to think that your mind was just as sharp as it had been when you were younger
>Maybe even sharper
>And you do recall Raven telling you about--
>"Taffy? Oh, me and the girls kicked him to the curd last week," Raven said, dropping the papers into your counter
>Ahh...
>Though there's still a smile on your face it was a bit more forced than it had been a second ago
"Truly? That's a shame, from what you told me I thought that your herd was going to be with him for a long time..."
>Raven shrugged, adjusting the glasses on her face with an almost bored expression
>"Well, you know how it is, your Highness. A herd needs to play the field for a while, check to see if they can get better."
>Your smile twitched as you turned away from the mare
"If you say so my dear..."
>As you continued to run your comb through your hair you let your mind wander
>There was a time when the thought of a herd just dropping a stallion like he was an old pair of slippers was unheard of
>Mares would cherish any colt that they would be lucky to get; no matter how big or handsome they were...
>But then again stallions back in your day were a completely different breed than the ones that now ran around
>They had been stronger willed, not afraid to square their shoulders and work for what they needed and wanted and what their loved ones needed and wanted
>There wasn't this... this expectation of being helped through life
>>25936873
>No cries of outrage when they didn't get their way
>There was no cheapness, no jealously or envy with what others had
>You don't know what happened over the years, why the culture and the closeness of herding had changed
>It must have happened slowly, gradually, so that when you noticed what was happening it was far too late to do anything about it
>You were an old fuddy duddy with out of date values in the new, strange world
>You weren't bitter about what had become of your ponies
>No, more... sad really...
>But there was nothing you could do about it
>If this was what your little ponies had become and this was how the sexes treated each other then you could only do your best to make your subjects happy
>...Even if, every once in awhile, you yearned for those simpler times to come back...
>You blinked at your reflection on the mirror, realizing that you had been staring at it for a rather long time
>Oh my
>It seemed like it was going to be one of those mornings...
>You hadn't even had your breakfast and you were milling on the past like some ancient grump...
>Just smile, Celestia
>Smiling's really the only thing you can do...
>Clearing your throat you look back at your patiently waiting assistant
"Now, why don't we start our day my dear. First, would be be so kind as to tell me what all these papers that you've dropped into my lap are?"
>The rest of your morning is a blur of activity
>There's papers to sign, documents to examine, treaties and laws to revise and think over
>After that and a very quick bite to eat you make your way to the throne room for the Day Court
>Another day another bit...
>"Auntie! AUNTIE!
>You close your eyes and let out a gentle sigh as your nephew appears next to you wearing... a thing...
"Good morning, Blueblood," you say, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice
>The young prince let out this whiny, high pitched squeal
>"Auntie, I need my allowance raised," he cried with a stomp of his hoof
damn
shukaku AND L&P
fantastic
>>25936904
>A good morning would have been appreciated but this is what you've come to expect from your "beloved" nephew
"And why would you need that hon?" you asked gently
>You looked at his... outfit again
"It wouldn't be because somepony dressed you like a peacock is it?"
>Raven snorted, covering her face with her clipboard, as Blueblood gasped
>"I do NOT look like a peacock," he said indignantly, the feathers on his back shaking this way and that way. "This is the newest design by--"
>You didn't know what it was
>Maybe you were feeling a bit more tired than usual today
>Maybe it was the nasally, high-pitched tone that was coming out of your nephew's mouth hole
>Maybe it was the fact that Blueblood had turned into... this even though you had done your best to raise him as a good, hard working stallion and the knowledge of that was getting to you
>You blame his parents
>If they didn't baby him so and gave him a little more responsibility when he was younger maybe he wouldn't have turned into a stereotypical noblestallion...
>Whatever it was you found that your usually endless patience had run out
"I'd love to continue our conversation, nephew, but it appears that we are at the throne room and if I linger here any longer I'll be late for the Day Court."
>Blueblood sputtered as you calmly walked past him
>"B-But auntie!" I--"
"I hope you have a wonderful day, my little pony."
>Both you and Raven leave the prince standing there fuming
>"Geeze, no wonder that colt doesn't have a herd," Raven muttered with a shake of her head. "He should be ecstatic with what he has..."
>You couldn't help but smile sadly at the irony
"Yes he should, my little pony. Yes he should..."
>The instant they see you were guards throw open the giant golden doors of the throne room
>You take a few deep breaths as you make your way to your throne, mentally preparing yourself for what was most likely going to be a long, long day
>>25936937
"So dare I ask who's the first pony we are to meet is?" you asked, climbing up to and sitting on your throne
>Chuckling, Raven stood beside you, leafing through some papers
>From what I heard some stallions may or may not be the first to see your Highness this morning."
>...Horse apples...
>The smile finally slips off your face and you frown
>It looked like what was already going to be a long day was going to get a lot longer...
"Did you inform them that I'm still not looking for a mate?" you asked carefully
>"I told them but like always they were insistent."
>Of course they were...
"And did you remind Mr. Fancy Pants that the Day Court is for important matters and that using it to court me is against the law."
>Raven made a face
>"You know that Fancy and his gaggle of stallions could have a team a lawyer's find a loophole around that law by the end of the afternoon, my lady."
>...She was right there
>For whatever reason a group of noble stallions had decided lay claim on the greatest conquest that they could find
>They had torn through every lady, business mare, and supermodel that they could get their hooves on, breaking hearts and ruining mares lives from what you've been told, but it appeared they didn't just want to be nobles
>No, they wanted to earn the title of prince consort if they could get it
>Since Cadence was taken and you'd skin anypony alive that bothered Twilight, be they stallion or mare, both you and your sister were the main targets
>The stallions in questions were just like your dear nephew
>Most of them were young
>Many of them came from very wealthy and powerful families
>And all of them wanted to be in a powerful herd
>The colt leading the charge was a Mr. Fancy Pants, one of the biggest gold diggers that you have ever known in all of your years
>More than once you had tried to stop this "wooing"
>You did not want a husband at the moment
>Especially if that lot were the ones that you had to pick from
>>25937022
>But every time you shooed them away they'd come back, lavishing you with honeyed words and bedroom eyes
>You were sure, as you sat there, Fancy was looking through the Canterlot archives or some such thing to find some ancient law saying that you had to wed SOMEPONY
>The stallions had been bothering you for MONTHS, ever since your dear sister had returned and you had gotten your fill of it
>In short you were sick of it
>You had had enough of their hounding, you were sick of telling them that you weren't interesting, and if you would have had your way you would have put each and every one of them over your knee so that you could punish them like the spoiled foals that they were
>...If only...
>You might have been sick of their behavior but there wasn't all that much you could do about it
>While throwing the stallions in the deepest, darkest dungeons you could find would probably solve the problem the public outcry would be too much of a headache
>You couldn't make a law that said they COULDN'T woo you since it was wrong and they'd probably find a loophole within the week
>And you had already tried telling them you were a fillyfooler and they hadn't believed you one little bit!
>...Though that might have been more your fault you supposed...
>It could have been that you didn't have the look of a carpet muncher...
>Maybe you needed you get your nose pierced?
>Nevertheless you would have to suffer through these stallions attempts until they either got bored or you outlived them
>And you were a pretty patient mare
>It wouldn't be the first time that you've had to resort to playing the waiting game
>You were very good at it in fact
>...Though you wish you didn't need to be...
>With a sigh you slumped back into your chair
"Very well then, let's get this over--"
>"Oh, good morning Princess--"
>"Silence welp. We have no desire to listen to thee prattle on."
>"Oh my--"
>"Leave or we SHALL RIP THY TAILS OFF!"
>>25937114
>You sighed again as your lovely sister's voice boomed through the throne room
>The throne room and probably most of the castle...
>Luna always could yell with the best of them...
>From the other side of the door screaming could be heard as well as many ponies fleeing for their lives as Luna continued to spew threats and curses
>...
>Well then...
>It looked like you weren't the only one that was having an off way
>Luna was usually able to last a LITTLE longer than that
>The doors to the throne room were encased in a blue magic and wrenched open, revealing your dear, dear sister Luna
>And by your sun did she not look happy
"Luna, what did I tell you about snapping at stallions?" you gently chided as she stomped toward you, growling like an angry manticore
>"If we had to listen to those weaklings speak for a moment longer than we would have done far more than SNAP at them, sister mine."
>Aw
>Fancy and his crew must have tried to speak to your sister first...
>You'd think they would have learned from the last time they did that...
>Just like you your sister didn't very much care for the stallions of today
>But unlike you she didn't have a thousand years of getting used to it
>You had learned to deal with it over the years, saddened by the change but you knew there wasn't anything you could do about it
>Luna didn't have that
>When she looked at stallions she didn't see the fairer sex that needed to be showered with praise and affection
>No
>All she saw was a bunch of lazy ingrates that did nothing good for the world that they lived in
>...Her words not yours
>Your sister had been sent the moon during the golden age of stallions
>Though they were far scarcer than they were today even the worst were colts that you would have been proud to take to your beds
>And now that she was home all she saw was an inferior breed of what once was
>And she was less than pleased with this fact
>>25937190
>You understood her frustration at having to deal with another change in what must have seemed like a totally different world than the one she remembered
>So you weren't too hard on her whenever she lost her temper or said something that a mare should not say to today's stallion
> In fact you had managed to keep most of Luna's outbursts from being too... damaging
>Though today it looked like that track was broken
>If you had to guess you were going to get more than a few complaints tomorrow...
>...
>Well, hopefully Fancy and his friends learned their lesson
>You'd bet your crown that they didn't but a mare could hope
>You couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile as you looked down at your little sister
"So is there anything you needed, sister mine? Or did you just swoop in to save me from my tormentors?"
>Luna snorted, sitting on her haunches
>"Nay."
>She looked up at you with a hopeful expression
>"Unless thou wilst finally allow me to punish Fancy and his gang of miscreants?"
>You gave your sister a look
"We both know that I can't do that Luna..."
>Grumbling, Luna crossed her hooves and looked away from you, an adorable little pout on her face
>"Tis a crime for anypony to waste the time of a goddess..."
>Getting off your throne you walk down to your sister and wrap a wing around her
"It's not a crime that I can get anypony in trouble for I'm afraid," you jokingly lament. "If I could our dungeon would be overflow--"
>Your head snapped over toward the window as a green flicker of magic wormed its way through the glass panels towards you
>Your horn glowed, catching it
"Hmm, what is this?"
>The second that your magic made contact with it the green flicker burst into flame before a scroll appeared
>"A letter from thy pupil I wager," Luna said as you levitated the letter over toward yourself
"You'd be right. I'd know this paper anywhere."
>It had been a long while since your old student had sent you a letter
>Maybe she sent you a friendship letter?
I am enjoying this. It's good to get a look on how Celestia feels about it all.
>>25937225
>You did enjoy yourself a good friendship letter every now and again
>You couldn't help but smile at the thought as you used your magic to untie and unroll the scroll
"Let's see what we have here..."
>The smile on your face became smaller and smaller as you read through the letter
>A wild stallion...
>A failed attempt at bringing him into town so that he would be safer...
>The assault on a royal person and near thirty mares...
>...
>...
>...
>What in the name of your sun was your student DOING?
>The look on your face must have been something to see since the moment you lifted your head from the letter Luna snatched it out of your magic and began to read it herself
>"Is... Is there something wrong your majesty?" Raven asked, worry creeping onto her features
>You just started at the mare, searching for a proper answer
>This was the first time in a very long time since you had been truly flabbergasted
>So you wanted to think on your words as well as what you just read
>Your help was needed to "capture" a stallion; the one that you had invited to stay in your kingdom many months ago
>His name was not one easily said so he had taken the name Anonymous to make it easier on everypony
>You might not have met Anon for more than a hoofful of times you knew him as a calm and collected, if a bit quiet, stallion
>He might have been physically different from your little ponies but you'd never think that he had it in him to attack a group of mares...
>...Unless it was for a good reason...
>Hmmm....
"Raven? Could you be a dear and cancel all of my appointments for the next two days? It seems that something has come up with Twilight that I need to see to."
>Luna, her muzzle still buried in the letter, snorted
>"Aye, something hath come up alright..."
>Nudging her with a wing you smiled at your assistant
"Raven, could you leave my sister and I for a moment? The two of us need to discuss something in private."
>>25937313
>Raven looked at you and your sister before scurrying off her place near the throne
>"Of course your majesty," she said with a bow. "I'll go and see that everything is cancelled as you've asked."
>You nod your head as the mare bowed once again before scurrying out of the room
>Both you and Luna waited before she was gone and the door was closed before the two of you looked at each other
>"Art thou sure that it was Twilight Sparkle that send this letter?" Luna questioned, looking at the offending piece of paper with skepticism. "Might it be from some prankster?"
"This Is Spike's clawwriting," you say, taking the letter back from her and giving it another look over. "I'd know it anywhere..."
>Luna's muzzle scrunched up
>"If what thou art saying is true then Twilight Sparkle, a mare that hath fought an army of Changelings in hoof-to-hoof combat and come out of it relatively unscathed, was not just beaten by a magicless stallion but her and thirty other mares were defeated?"
>...Yeah, that sounded a heck of a lot more outlandish out loud than it did in your head...
"My student isn't one to lie, Luna," you said, folding up the paper. "If she said that happened then I'm inclined to believe her."
>Without needing prompt the two of you begin to make your way out of the throne room
"Even so, this seems a little hard to believe even if it's coming from Twilight. I'd like to go down to Ponyville and see what happened myself."
>From what you had gathered Twilight wasn't very happy with getting beat up by a stallion
>She wanted you to arrest the colt of all things!
>Even if you could have done that-- you couldn't since legally the attack had been in the Everfree, a lawless zone-- throwing anypony in a dungeon wasn't something you wanted to do
>Such an act should be only used as a last resort
>What you needed to try to do first was talk to all parties, see why the attack happened and what you could do to make sure that it didn't happen again
>>25937351
>You've found that coming at problems with an even hoof and with friendship in mind is the best way to solve the problem nine times out of ten
>You were sure that this wasn't an exception
"The two of us will go and see what we can find, see if we can help with Twilight's problem in a peaceful manner."
>Luna grinned
>"And thou also wish to skip out on thy duties yes?
>You couldn't help but crack a smile at that
"If you want to stay here and deal with paperwork and pushy stallions than I have no intention of stopping you, sister mine."
>You have to bite back your laughter when your sister paled
"No? Well then off to Ponyville I suppose."
>>25937380
Alright, I'm done
>>25937394
10/10 man I never wanted it to end
>>25937394
Looking forward to the scene where we see Celestia's reaction to Twilight attempting to assault and kidnap someone then burn their house down and keep them as a slave. I'd like to imagine that her first assumption would be Twilight being mind-controlled or something. Am I close?
>>25937394
>Mr. Fancy Pants, one of the biggest gold diggers
our faces when
Also, Nordlestia or Norduna? Or both?
>>25937443
Princesses belong to the Nords!
Princessly reminder:
Rarity swims in stallions because she is famous, stylish and suave.
Has no respect for males, and instead of a prince she'd rather have the sexy, obedient butler.
But somewhere deep, deep inside she still hopes to find the lord of her castle
Pinkie Pie is a pickup artist - as in, truly ARTist, not the kind that read a few books.
With her charm, skills and stamina she probably outfucks half of Ponyville - combined!
Other mares always ask her how she does it. There is a secret - she just doesn't care!
Flutters is just too hot - hot damn! Say her name - everypony KNOWS who she is.
Stallions spill hay in front of her so much she bales it up and sells it.
Some say she gets fish for her carnivorous animals by flirting with griffons and getting them to spill it from their pockets.
She doesn't have time for them though.
Applejack is a tradcon, and values family greatly.
She also is the Mare of a family of four, a position forced upon her when she was still too young.
The only romantic experience she had was with a colt in school.
She admires those real, working colts that are not afraid to get their hooves dirty and know how to run a homestead.
Rainbow Dash is mixed case.
Her constantly absent single mother didn't teach her how to deal with stallions.
She feels betrayed by her father and his mares, as her mother - and her - were thrown out
Bitter and distrustful towards mares.
Doesn't understand stallions, and, as Rarity puts it, "their delicate, indirect nature"
To make matters worse, she seems to be monosexual.
Fluttershy, Gilda, and now the bearers - are the only real friends she ever had.
Twilight Sparkle forgot to leave the library when everypony hit puberty.
She has zero sexual experience, and had zero romantic relationships.
The only stallions she knew close are her father, her brother, and two of her school professors.
She had a crush on one of Shining's friends that sometimes came over, but didn't even realize it at the time
>>25937380
I didn't actually connect this story with your previous part at first, mainly because there was nothing to connect it besides your name.
I actually initially thought it was the Anon is with Luna and Celestia after being dropped by the Shit 3.
Still good stuff though.
>>25933755
Are there any good zebra stories?
>>25937587
So did I.
>>25937587
Same here.
>>25937394
Ho-boy, I'm getting the feeling Luna and Celestia are going to take an interest in an uninterested Anon.
"He's a *real* stallion, like those from before mine banishment! I must have him!"
I really want to see Luna try to intimidate Anon like she did with Fancy, only to be shocked when Anon either tells her to fuck off or bashes her over the head and dumps her at the Apples' border.
"Sister," you say, nursing the growing egg on your head, "I believe I am in love."
>>25936579
>>25936600
>>25936622
>Pure Tragedy/Ow The Edge route.
>No one is willing to help Anon, a single father with a newborn foal. Not even Cadence or Celestia.
>He has to turn to theft, murder, prostitution, and/or other unspeakable things to keep his foal fed and sheltered.
>Years pass like this. He successfully hides what he does from his kid.
>Foal just a few years from being an adult when Anon drops dead, his body giving out after years of working in over drive.
>Foal reads his will and sees everything. All the horrid things Anon did for them, and WHY they were in such a situation.
>A super villain quickly forms...
>>25937859
>Anon's foal succeded were every other villain failed failed
>On the virge of distroying Celestia/other princesses Foal stops relizing this wasnt what Anon sacrifised so much for
>Celestia/other princesses read Anon's will and feel ashamed
>Forgive foal and change their ways
the end
>>25937859
>Foal finds the Alicorn Amulet and uses it to take over Equestria.
I want to see this.
>>25937587Hey Shuk, I learned how to cheaply manufacture magic horn auras to make you this shitty threadpicI also posted it right before but forgot to uncrop that one
>>25938089
I like that new pictures are being produced that's related to the thread, so good on you, but I don't like this meme so fuck you as well.I wish I could be bothered to make stuff.
>>25937859
Hmmm, I'd prefer a non-grimderp route.
>Hesitantly, you raise your hoof and knock on the old oak door.
>The echoes travel seemingly throughout the cottage.
>"Just a minute!"
>By your Aunt, there was no doubt in your mind it was Him.
>Despite how deeper and scratchier it sounded, you'd never be able to mistake it for anypony else's.
>A brief shuffling and the door opens with a slight creak.
>The lines in his face were harsh and pronounced, his skin deeply-tanned from sun and weather.
>He was a lot leaner than you remembered: the roundness and softness of youth had been replaced by tough, wiry muscle that seemed to ripple under skin.
>And his eye! Oh, merciful Heart.
>A pale-white scar ran down his left eye from brow to cheek.
>What happened to him?
>"Cadence?"
>You swallow your nervousness.
"Hello, Anonymous."
>He leans against the door-frame, arms crossed, eyeing you with a blank expression.
>"It's been a long time, Princess."
>A wince threatens to break through your facade.
>You're about to ask if you could go in, to catch up and perhaps, against all expectations, reconcile your friendship, but a yell from deeper inside causes your throat to painfully tighten.
>"Dad, you know where Mom keeps the hair scrunchies?"
>You peer over his shoulder, and your heart aches as you catch sight -briefly- of...
>Of... your -- your dau--
>Her.
>"Try our room, Hon," Anon calls back, face still impassive, eyes never leaving yours.
>"She likes to keep them in our Anniversary Box."
>A moment's silence.
>"Thanks, Dad!"
>The clip-clopping of hooves recedes further into their home.
>"Why are you here, Princess? I thought you and your family" -a slight sneer- "made their positions very clear when Rose was born."
So, yeah.
>>25938349
Continue?
>>25938404
yes
>>25938428
Go for it.
>>25938404
That took me half-hour to churn out. A write-fag, I am not.
>>25938470
Practice makes you better.
>>25938480
More like it's 2:20AM and I'm writing one-handed on an Android.
>>25938142
If it isn't your thing - write some other dumb joke there and skew the text a little.
Here are the assets (https://file.io/hNjMgN), take them and do whatever you want. I don't know if you'll find them of any use, as I cleaned them up specifically forteat-twisting, but have them anyway.fucking spamcheck, does it ban every fucking sharing site?
>>25935768
There was a story where Fluttershy rapes an underaged Anon who's about to be taken away to a government lab and accidentally gives him siphyllis. Can't remember the name. Had something to do with a radio.
>>25938596
Oh god, I remember that.
>>25938631
I don't but if someone has it that'd be nice.
>>25938510
I appreciate your trying, but I don't think I want to do that right now.Also, {"success":false,"error":404,"message":"Not Found"}
>>25936873
>>But then again stallions back in your day were a completely different breed than the ones that now ran around
>>They had been stronger willed, not afraid to square their shoulders and work for what they needed and wanted and what their loved ones needed and wanted
>>There wasn't this... this expectation of being helped through life
Wait. Is EquestriaJapan?
>>25939018
That makes so much sense.
>1000 years ago, stallions used to be just as tough as mares.
>Something happened that reduced the male birth rate, making stallions a rare commodity.
>Stallions get too used to being treated like glass that they become a bunch of pansies.
>>25937394
This is gonna be some good shit, right here.
>>25937394
I love you LaP
Please continue this, it's great
Really looking forward to see how this is going to continue
>you wait while they try to help your father, the only man in this miserable and brilliant world.
>he wanted that you studied by yourself and find the right path.
>"He always runs forward" he would say whenever platicabamos the future.
>you listened to their stories and their desire to live every day.
>tubieron never much, but never left thereof.
>always you are thinking in helping him cope.
>and that one day he would come out of your city and find a better place for you and
>your brand is management talent metals
>You can create whatever you want and design it
>your father was proud when they discovered your talent.
>spending their savings buy your first full toolkit
>You have a picture of him and you in the same tools.
>at that time it looked happy all the time.
>always he had a smile that made evil is out
>always he had a joke to make you laugh
>always he had a hug to reassure
>always he had a kiss on the forehead as I lay sleeping.
>You never thought what happened enrealidad
>but since a few days ago you heard what he did.
>You ran to the hospital that day, desperate to even find this man as tall and as strong as a bear.
>Even that you remembered so, and always will.
>when you came to the hospital, in critical condition you found it.
>Medical appliances out of his chest, into his nostrils the breath vial.
>When you found him, you couldn not help it.
>You ran directly toward him.
>coming to bed took his hand was cold.
>"My son..."
"father..."
>"Forgive me child, forgive me for everything, I love you so much."
>You saw his face looking at something only ever seen a handful of times in your lifetime.
>The very definition of sadness, regret and fear in the face of being you never thought see
"Daddy please don't worry, do not cry, it's all right, what's done is done, do not repent and move on."
>"you do not!"
fuck i screwed myself, didn't i?
All that bad translated story went to the drain...
I will just leave, edit this the right way and kill myself.
>>25939100
Well except for... you know.
>>25937394
Nice one, gonna write a kangaroo into this one?
>>25939615Why is Filthy Frank suddenly getting referenced here?
>tfw you will never be molested by a tiny mare
>>25936873
>kicked him to the curd
curb (lest some impressionable reader see that for the first time and think it correct... i'm amazed how often i find writefags screwing up expressions)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI3YQzLUXw8
>>25939698
Slootershy.
>>25939856
pretty sure that was just a spelling error
>>25938404
>Continue?
this question should never be ask
for the answer will always be YES
>>25938349
Yes Anon, no joke or bad blood, continue and show how it's done.
>>25939856
It's a bovine expression, sis.
>>25937580
Your headcanon is shit.
>>25937394
That was glorious.
And unquestionably RGRE enough.
>>25937394
I love you and your horsewords
>>25937443
You mean Alinord. The best of all worlds. Infinite magic, yet does not want to be bothered with those squiggly-writin's and pointy hat bullshit.He wants to be bothered with princess flank
>>25937580
It's the mares job to get the stallions interest. Bright colors are helpful for this.
This is why Rainbow Dash has a fanclub, and Rarity primps and preens for any attention. And why stallions are usually just brown, white or blue.
>>25938349
i was expecting this to be shit... but turned into a pretty good start.
>>25939880
i figured as much, but still felt it bears correcting (for the reader, not likely the author)
>>25940030
well played sir
>>25939698
damn that is one lewd fluttershy
>>25939698
Sauce?
>>25940601
http://imgur.com/a/VgQbO
this is going to sound like a stupid qiestion, but how do I into writefagging? Do I just write green in the thread? how do I make a pastebin and link it?
>>25937641
>zigger
Not Even Once©
>>25938684
It was called radio anon or something like that.
>>25940081
BNW, why are you casually enjoying yourself instead of writing minotits? It's like you're trying to have a life outside your creations or something.
>>25940709
>mfw Raggie and Brownie Bun
>>25937580
Same post as always, but you picked a new image.
Your headcannon is shit, but I do appreciate the thread relevant image.
>>25940721
>Do I just write green in the thread?
sure
this is a trick question, right?
>>25936873
Her first appearance in this story and I already love Celestia.
10/10
>>25935685
>Super mega teat twist!
>Anon catches super pony AIDS.
it's like normal AIDS but with more teat twisting.
>>25942297
>Anon gets pony AIDS
>His teats begin to twist on their own
>They spin faster and faster
>Soon they are as drills, his shirt in ruins
>Drill-nips tear shit up, many humorous accidents occur.
>After a trip to the hospital Anon is cured
>Luckily Rararara feels bad about giving Anon a VD and makes a new shirt for him
>"Of course I'll make you a new shirt, darling. Just who the hell do you think I am?"
>>25937394
Moarmoarmoarmoarmoar!
>>25940046 >>25942122
>Your headcanon is shit.
>Your headcannon is shit,
I hope you girls understand that this particular reaction, in this particular wording, only makes me want to post it more
>>25942519
I concede that we couldn't stop you any more than you could form a decent opinion. But you have a right to know that it's shit.
Actually, I wouldn't care so much if you didn't come across as wanting to force the idea onto all stories.
4 hours and we're still on page 4? WTF ppl are you celebrating NY or smth?
I thought you are all christians and do christmas
>be Anon in reversed gender roles rusquestria
>as soon as you tell them you're a male, they decide to test how good of a stallion you are
>you are made to stop a charging mino and walk into a burning house
>being sane, you refuese to both
>mares all laugh and babytalk to you
>"Little alien colt, your little pipiska yet nott grown! such khoroshij little colt! Go play with little ones."
>stallions all ignore you because you are such "ebanij sugar dandy, if it rains he will melt, baka"
>to drown your sorrows you decide to drink lots vodka
>they don't have any, only labor and friendship
>shouldn't have drunk Russian bleach
>>25942773
Posting was down on 4chan for a few hours
>>25942773
Holy shit, bl_j_ad filters to bljad?
>>25942779
good, you should CRAWL OUT OF YOUR CAVE you OWLS sitting behind your COMPUCTERS
>>25942808
>Holy shit, bl_j_ad filters to bljad ?
I surrender
![tumblr_mpis63prUV1rsw0e9o1_400[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/6kXZOy6.jpg "tumblr_mpis63prUV1rsw0e9o1_400[1].jpg")
>>25942808
I am not one of those flying pillows. I am more refined than that. Like a stately raccoon.
>>25937380
When will we have updates on this, Mr. Writefag?
>>25942771
>I concede that we couldn't stop you any more than you could form a decent opinion.
That wouldn't be a problem if you could form decent opinions yourself, sis.
>Actually, I wouldn't care so much if you didn't come across as wanting to force the idea onto all stories.gosh, you can talk nonshit?
I don't particularly care. My main beef is with the constant social retardedness and parasol-tipping: the bearers all either have no idea how to interact with ponies, or are so shy they freeze when a colt comes by. Meanwhile at the pub there is a token powercunt to confirm to shareholders that not every mare is like thatand in the war against this spaghettification there are no bad methods! I'd try reverse psychology, but I bet it would backfire.
Come to think of it, now that Gryphanon and Powerlifting came back from abroad, all my shitbitching is redundant... oh, bother.
>>25942878
Not even a day has passed, sis, and it's New Year's Eve
>>25934627
I need more of this
>>25943010
>satyr underage incest
>double crime against nature and foal rape.
>endangered species too
to the dungeon you go, in the place we banish you to.
>>25938349
The feels is real.
Moar.
>>25938349
mmmmm nice
More please
>>25943026
>Implying Equestria has an AoC.
>Implying incest isn't normalized.
>>25942828
I feel like I should ask that raccoon for some fancy mustard.
>>25938349
"Lonely father Anon with a baby tries to survive in sexist and racist Equestria" green when?
>>25943164
not a clue , but hey sisters guess what, i can write green up till the 4th now since dog bite!
Yay absense of leave, just wish the dumb thing had bit my leg instead of my hand hard to type properly with this dumb thing.
>>25943406
>flashing
Oh yes, I like this.
>>25942808
>OWL
well, you're about half right
>>25939645
hold the phone on that L&P
I have a wonderful Idea about this
>>25943503
Muh Dicks.
>>25943503
How are this owl-cat things called?
>>25943608
Cowls.
>>25943608
Owlcats.
>>25943533
On the Hunt Mk.I
*Based loosely on events in a L&P story*
Be Victoria the Sheila roo
>or Vic for short
>a very competent big game hunter and tracker who migrated to canterlot from Ausland
>one who now spends her time organizing and directing safaris and nature trips
>great dosh off all these posh cunts who's idea of a "great outing" is a weekend in the woods
>the door bell rings and you put down the manual you were reading for a new net gun
>time to deal with more uneducaded di... oh its the royalty.
>Both princesses come waltzing through the door
>be polite, be respectful, have a plan
>and hopefully they tip you real good
"G'day princesses, how can I be of service?
>The princess's horn glows a sec and you hear the front door lock
>"There is a small, task we ask of you. and we also request that it remains on a need-to-know level"
>oooo, secret mission, those tend to fetch a pretty penny
"Im all ears"
>"There is a certain, someone, that we need brought in and unfortunately he has been pretty apt at evading our efforts"
>wait, HE? woah, this just got really kinky really fast.
>did they find some bloke with a kidnap/rape fetish?
>WEIRD, well at lest they'll probably pay extra
"Interesting, what can you tell me about this...HE
>"How long do you have?"
"I can clear my schedule"
>>25943608
Variety.
>>25943837
Oh god what happened to Mordecai and Rigby?
>>25943842
they got cronenberged
>>25943608
>>25943615
>>25943662
Go read The Chase on Fimfic they are just a different breed of Gryphons
>>25943868
fuck you they're cowls not griffons
they like to rest on the heads and shoulders of travellers, having learned that keeping their perch's heads warm and dry leads to getting fed.
Crap. Thought trains are bringing me down possible paths for the story, some of them a little darker...
The question is, would the idea fit?
>>25943984
How dark we talking? Cadence being depressed about current child affair dark?Advanced darkness?
>>25943984
Add trains to the story.
Multi-track drifting
Train pirates
Celestia in an evil moustache ties Anon to the train tracks in canterlot.Thankfully they're just the spare ones at the depot.
>>25944023
Original lifestyle ruined, but ends up settling into a new one slowly.
Sort of. I can't really explain without spoiling stuff.
>>25944047
Also alcoholism, depression and slaps.
>>25943304
“So care to tell me what all that was about then Rarity?”
>Rarity scrunchies her muzzle at you.
>”I had thought that you hadn’t noticed Darling.”
“Rarity please, I’m not stupid.”
>”Oh very well I suppose, Twilight and I had a...tiff with one another in regards to the treatment of stallions in this day and age.”
>You simply raise an eyebrow.
>After a few moments of silent staring Rarity wipes some of the sweat on her brow and takes a bite of pancake.
>Swallowing the dry lump in her throat the mare coughs before caving.
>”Oh fine, we were discussing you as well and Twilight had been so insensitive to your feelings and acting so brash that I just couldn’t stand it.”
>Wow, most ponies tend to cave immediately when you use the eyebrow, Rarity lasted a good thirty seconds.
“Look Rares, I love the fact that you’re defending my honor from the big purple people eating menace, but I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself too you know.”
>Rarity sighs before stabbing at her pancake with a pout, “ I understand that intellectually Darling, but Twiight had said such hurtful things that I wonder how did we ever become friends with each other.”
>Alarmed you reach over and rub her hoof startling the white mare into dropping her fork.
“Hey now, I don’t want you two to ruin your friendship over me, you guys have been through a lot of adventures together, be rather silly to just throw away a friendship like that for little ol’ me now isn’t it?”
>Tilting your head to give her a sheepish smile you give her hoof a squeeze.
>Rarity’s bangs hang over her face as she looks down at your hand before you can see her magic alight upon your own hand and it squeezes back.
>Rarity sniffs before she looks you in the eye with a watery grin.
>”I think you’d be worth it Darling, you’re my friend too right?”
>Hnng.
>Your heart.
>Standing from the chair you come over to the mare and wrap her in a big hug.
>>25944284
“Course we are.”
>You say muffled by her mane as you bury your face in the top of her mane.
>”H-hey watch the hair.”
>Chuckling you oblige her before holding her close.
“Look, let’s just, try to get a handle on things, we’ll all calm down a bit and come together to talk things out.”
>Rarity cranes her head back looking at you with a hint of worry.
>”Things?”
“Twi and company aren’t the only problem we have it seems, you guys are really torn up about this huh?”
>Rarity’s tears seem to have dried quickly as she sucks in a deep breath, “OF course we’d be upset about this, colts aren’t just joy sticks to play with till they break or something newer comes along why the sheer nerve of-”
>Boop.
>”Darling please I-”
>Boop.
>”Would you st-
>Boop.
>Rarity fumes as she stares at you with a promise of violence.
>You meanwhile are holding your giggles in before you just have to push her just one more time.
>Your finger starts to stray close to her snout for another boop.
>Oomph!
>You simply stare at Rarity as she holds your finger in place with her mouth.
>Then you spine tingles as you feel something slimy and sticky cover your finger.
>Oh that’s her tongue…
>Not sure if want or not.
>Withdrawing your finger you make a face as Rarity lets out a giggle, “Turnabout is fair play after all Darling.”
“I’ll show you turnabout!”
>You threaten as you advance on the mare with an evil grin.
>”No you don’t!”
>Rarity flees through the shop while you chase after her fully intent on giving her the wet willy of a lifetime!
>However a bell tingles in the shop causing Rarity to swerve to the door while you trip over a stray bolt of fabric into a pile of discarded dresses.
>Right, work.
>That important thing that pays the bills.
>Seeing your fun was over for now you decide to get back to work.
>>25944288
>Waving goodbye to Rarity you make your way to home with Fluttershy.
>Wonder if she is going to make pasta salad again, stuff was great, though she didn’t have tomatoes.
>Actually none of the ponies in town sell them for some reason how odd.
>You know what, to thank Flutterbutter you know what you’re going to do with your afternoon off!
>Changing your path you being to make your way towards the Everfree passing not too far from Orange Tree Kicker’s place.
>You had just started to walk into the forest when you hear a familiar call.
>”Awnon!”
“Hey Applejack, what do you want?”
>The apple horse stops near her fence looking you over with worry.
>”Sugarcube you’re not thinking of going into that thar forest are ya?”
“What if I am, not like you have any right to tell me off remember?”
>Seeing her wince gives you a vindictive sense of satisfaction before she steels herself.
>”Maybe so, but that doesn't mean I can’t escort you then.”
“Yeah, thanks, but no I’m good.”
>”Awnon, come on. Don’t be like that, we both know that the Everfree is dangerous!”
“For you maybe.”
>”Ugh, look not even the girls and Ah like goin’ into the forest without others for back up. It’s foolish is what it is.”
>You just know that the mare will raise more of a fuss if you don’t oblige her so you just sigh before waving her after you.
>With a happy winnie the pony leaps over the fence and trots her way over to your side hat bouncing along the way.
>God damn it.
>You forgot how cute that lil hat was when she’s happy.
>No you’re still pissed at her, don’t give in now, you’d be a total cuck Anon.
>Ignoring the rather cheerful mare following you into what might as well be a potential death sentence you walk on the path into the woods.
>>25944295
>You both are quiet as you walk through the woods.
>The silence is in that awkward state of comfortable, yet there is a large pink tutu wearing elephant in the room.
>If you remember right the tomatoes would be right around…
>”Awnon?”
>Damn there goes the quiet.
“Yeah?”
>”Ah know that...that we’re having our troubles, but…”
>Ah fuck clench the butt.
>”Ah wanna learn, Ah mean, Ah wanna understand why ya’ll are so upset about us moving on.”
“Thought I explained myself pretty clearly there Applejack, humans stick to one partner and mate for life.”
>”But why? Colts are really flaky and don’t really stick around that often, same with herds.”
>Stepping off the path you move aside some brush holding it up for Applejack to follow.
“Well first clue, I’m not a pony. Different rules.”
>”Ah know that!”
“Do you really? Cuz you sure don’t act like it.”
>Applejack sucks in a deep breath letting it out after a moment.
>”Sugarcube, Ah’m tryin’ to be understanding.”
“What’s there to understand you thought I was just shallow and kicked me to the curb once you saw something else to chew on.”
>No sir you’re not bitter at all.
>”It’s always been like that Anon! Since there aren’t that many colts around mares gotta share when they herd up, even then there’s not enough colts!”
“So what, you guys play merry go round with pony cock then?”
>”W-well no, maybe a little, but it’s not fair Awnon there’s not that many colts to have! Do ya know how many times I have to beat mares off Big Mac so he can have some peace of mind?!”
“If I recall right, I had to help you with that when you missed a couple.”
>”What, how in tarnation did you get rid of them?”
>Flick.
>”Ouch what was that for!”
>Wiggling your fingers you grin at the mare.
“I used my superior digits off course to drive them off.”
>”Wait so you ju-”
>Flick.
>”Gosh Darn it Anon stop flicking mah nose!”
“Snrk, nope.”
>>25944302
>Flicking her nose one more time you dodge a flying tackle by the country mare as she shouts.
>”Awnon you get your button flicking teasin’ plot back here!”
>Running with full speed you laugh back at her.
“You wish that I was teasin’ you!”
>”Ahnon!”
>You thought she was just yelling for the sake of scaring you.
>Instead she was warning you for that low hanging branch,
>Hitting the ground with a muffled thump you blink in a daze.
>Soon enough a familiar face zooms into view.
>”Awnon you cotton pickin’ fool, what’d Ah tell ya.”
>Groaning you rub your head feeling the goose egg on your head.
>”Right then.”
>Feeling teeth bite into the hem of your collar you are slowly dragged back.
“Hey stop that.”
>”Eeenope you got hurt and Ah don’t want to listen to the girls say Ah’m abusing ya.”
“Pfft yeah right like th- well never mind they would, wouldn’t they?”
>”Eeeyep!”
>Struggling you get Applejack to let you go before standing up with an unsteady gait.
>”Now you come on home and Ah’ll get somethin for that bruise.”
“It’s fine Applejack I’ll explain it when we get back, sides I want to get those tomatoes.”
>Hearing a gasp of shock you turn in confusion to see Applejack with teary eyes.
>”Awnon Ah didn’t, Ah’m sorry Awnon you don’t have to do that. Come on let’s get’cha home, please you don’t need to kill yourself!”
>>25944307
>The hell?
“Kill myself? It’s just tomatoes, Fluttershy ha-”
>”Fluttershy had tomatoes?! Ah didn’t think she was a black widow!”
“What? NO! Listen you dumb idjit!”
>”Ah know you’re not well Awnon, but it’ll be ok.”
“Now you’re just over reacting!”
>Applejack stomps her little hooves in the ground, “Ah don’t think you're reacting enough!”
“Then I guess together we react enough then!”
>”That doesn’t even make sense!”
>Booping the mare you nod.
“Exactly! Now tell me why tomatoes are so terrible they taste great.”
>”Their poisonous! Haven’t you seen Rohania and Tulip?”
“What?”
>Applejack sighs muttering under her breath, it sounds vaguely like philistine.
>”It’s the love story about a mare that couldn’t court a colt cuz of family so the colt used diluted tomato juice to fake bein’ dead and the mare got all upset and joined her lover in death by drinking the tomato juice straight.”
>>25944314
>Wait.
>Tomato juice, that’s a poison here?
>You can’t even…
>Holding your hand out at the mare you nod.
“O-okay, srnk, I just lemme digest that for a bit.”
>”It’s fine let’s just go back home.”
“Yeah, I guess, but I wanna get something for Flutters at least.”
>Applejack makes a small face before asking, “Why ya wanna get her something?”
“Well she took me in without much hassle, stopped me from doing stupid shit and I wanna show my appreciation.”
>Applejack shakes her head at your antics as you look around the forest floor.
>”Ah forgot how you always tried to pay somepony back Awnon.”
“Well ponies are said to have memory like a gold fish, three seconds or so.”
>”Hey!” Applejack says as she sways your leg with her tail.
“Not my fault, you set yourself up for it.”
>Applejack giggles at that before she becomes somber seeing the flowers you had collected.
>Seeing her notice the flowers you hold them out to her.
“Think these are any good, they aren’t roses, but they look nice.”
>>25944345
>Applejack coughed clearing her throat and squinting a bit, “Ehrm, yeah, Fluttershy will defintly like them…”
“Why are you tearing up like that? Aw man these make ponies sneeze don’t they?”
>”No! No they’re fine, its just uh, Ah had something in my eye?”
“Snrk, Applejack you have got to be the worst liar in the world, what’s the real reason.”
>”Look it’s just a dumb pony thing, ya’ll wouldn’t care bout it none.”
>Adjusting the bundle of flowers you step over a fallen log making it to the path back to town.
“Well see I unlike you ponies can apprecaite other cultures.”
>Wincing at the snark Applejack sighes before mumbling darkly to herself.
“What was that?”
>”Ah said they are flowers that ponies give to somepony they really treasure.”
“Well that works great then, I appreciate Flutters for a bunch of the stuff she done for me.”
>Strange wonder why Applejack’s lowering her head like that with droopy ears.
>”O-oh well, uhm, Ah’m glad yer not yellin’ at me now Awnon.”
“Don’t worry I’m still madder than a hatter at you, but I can be civil about it.”
>Seeing her flinch you sigh before ruffling her hat to get at her ears.
“Relax, I’m not going to be a bitch, might snark at you a lot, but out of the trio I...I liked you the best so that might be why I’m not being an utter cunt to ya.”
>”R-really?”
“Yep, hey there’s the cottage. Thanks for walking me home Applejack.”
>As you start to walk towards the cottage you feela hoof on your pant leg making you look down.
>Applejack looks up at you with a pleading expression, “Awnon, c-could you call me...call that lil name you used to call me?”
>Remembering all the times she tell you off for using it you give her a small smile and bend down to be eye level with her.
>Patting her head you whisper…“Only this time, Jackie.”
>You then ruffle her mane a bit before striding towards the cottage, ignoring the rain.
>>25944354
aaand done not bad for about two hours worth of taka... thoughts?
>>25944354
more?
>>25944354
good stuff, but I misjudged your Anon. I thought he had a stronger backbone then that.
>>25943754
I like L&P's story, but this is a great setup.
>Luna and Celestia are Nick Fury and are assembling a team of alpha mares to take on Anon.
Be Calypso, the strongest lioness in all of Zebrica.
>As you stroll through the latest village you conquered you gaze at all that you now own.
>To your left is body after body of injured zebra mares.
>And to your right is the huddled group of colts they tried so desperately to protect.
>You begin circling them, inspecting your new toys.
>The lot is mostly impressive you'll admit, but you already have so many back home and things are starting to become a little cramped.
>You really should make those renovations a bigger priority, and yet you do enjoy seeing the occasional colt fight break out because of the crampedness.
>A grin forms over your face as you decide over your alpha-mare-problems.
"Listen closely my pets, while I now own all of you by right of Zebrica law, but I'm not going to keep all of you. You'll help me decide with a little game."
"You're all going to wrestle and if you win you'll get to stay, but if you lose you will be coming home with me. You 2 can proceed first."
> As you watch the one with the blue mane immediately tackle the grey mane you can't help but stretch your face into an even larger grin.
>Of course they don't realize that even if they win the ones you want to keep will have to wrestle you in the end, but that little secret was best saved until it was needed.
>As the grey mane struggles to flip over his opponent you smell danger approach you and your well earned toys.
>Two different scents and with quick perimeter scan you locate two Pegasus approaching you.
>The chest tuft on these mares!
>Well if they really think they can come in and steal-
>Oh my, my...
>If it isn't the two royal sisters.
>This day just got a whole lot more interesting...
>>25944458
aw man, I was trying to not make Anon a wimp...
>>25944354
>“Only this time, Jackie.”
>>25944543
I actually think he's interesting. Kind of builds up the tension for when (or if) he blows up on them again.
>>25944543
Doesn't seem like a wimp to me. I thought it was a great human moment for anon that showed he isn't out to just ruin his old herd. It also felt like a great moment for applejack too.It tugs my heartstrings since AJ is best pony. I hate to see her heartbroken, even if she deserves it in this case
>>25943754
Cool!
So, when do we get a story about anon with the BEST species?
>>25943007
I'm so alone
>>25944135
Please don't! It's gotta be tough going it alone, but I think you should follow that one anon's idea about Anon eventually settling down with another and being happy. Cadence should be the miserable one, the harlot!
>>25944543
You didn't. Just because he was betrayed doesn't mean that he's filled with hate and only hate and he has one emotion and it's hate. hatehatehate.
Your anon is human. Yeah, he remembers some reasons why he fell in love in the first place - but he also catches himself, making sure not to fall into that "trap" yet again. It's... however many years of flirting and loving a person, you can't just turn that off in a day.
I'm expecting a lot of bittersweet moments, where it's going well and it's almost as if nothing happens until Anon realizes - or remembers - "oh... but... you threw me away." And then that awkward silence settles over the situation. And then pones realize "Oh... yeah..." and it's just... there. It's all out there, and it can't be taken back, and it's not getting better.
Also.Jackie. My first thought was "Gotta get back, back to the past samurai jack" - and then AJ was a fuji apple.
>>25941099
dubs demands I stop having a life outside of my creations! But, good news - at least for DD - I've figured out what I want to do for their first date day. So I can start writing that again.
For minotits, I'm working on how anon breaks the news, and their reactions. I wanted the story to go one way, but it seems like... it's going to go a completely different direction. I don't know how I feel about that.
>>25943868
Anon, you silly nigger. No one should read The Chase. Ever. For any reason.
>>25944806
>"You shall not stop me Anon!"
"Ah but foolish Samurai you have forgotten your one weakness!"
>You pull out a gala apple.
>"No you cannot!"
"But I will!"
>Crunch!
>"Ahgn!"
>Munch!
>"Stop!"
>Throwing away the apple core you reach in and grab a granny smith.
>"You fiend."
"Flee foolish samurai and never return!"
>"I will not!"
"Then suffer!"
>Crunch!
>Jack of the Apple Clan narrows her eyes at your flaming eyebrows as they waggle at her discomfort.
>With her magical sword she charges you!
>At which point you throw an apple a Fuji you think and run, er engage in a tactical retreat for a better position!
>>25944794
I never said it was going to be Anon depressed and alchoholic. He's got a kid to raise, after all.
>>25944543
I wouldn't call him a wimp. AJ was the least cunty of the three about the whole thing, and walking around pissed off all the time doesn't solve anything.
Twi and RD, though? Yeah, I wouldn't give them the same courtesy. RD because she was spiteful and out and out cunty about it. Twi because she leveraged an unjust law, and by extension abused her power, to take shit anon had helped buy and create. On top of that, she's trying to avoid responsibility by blaming law and culture.
Nope.
She's a political leader and if she's the lead mate then she's a social leader, it is completely acceptable to hold her to a higher standard and judge her more harshly for her actions accordingly.
Don't sweat it, your anon is interesting and just because you don't go full rage doesn't mean you're beta.
>>25944036
Except Celestia's really bad at being a villain. She forgets her rope, borrows Anon's shoelaces, and ties the spare tracks to him. Like, she literally ties a loose piece of track to his ankle. Anon has to hold the knot steady with a finger while she makes a bow.
>>25944884
>raising a kid
>can't be a depressed alcoholic
Ireland and the Slavoverse disagree with this.
>>25944135
>>25943984
A general rule of thumb with grimderp with pony stories is trying to imagine the actual scene take place within the shows animation with the associated cartoon noises and bright colors. If the scene is far darker than even the darker and depressing moment you've seen to the show that you can't imagine such a scene fitting in such a stylized colorful world then you've probably gone to far.
That's just a general rule of thumb though its possible to go way over the line and still salvage it or make it good with solid writing and build up, but generally if you can't actually picturing it happening don't do it.
>>25944884
The thought of Anon slapping a kid makes me feel like shit.
>>25944987
You're telling me, that if you could travel through time, you wouldn't slap the shit out of prepubescent Justin Beiber?
Let's choose best mother/captain save a hoe.My vote for Twalot Spergle.
>>25944987
It's not the kid being slapped either.
>>25944978
It's going to be within the show's parameters, though I will be bending some laws of physics to be a touch more realistic.
>>25944770
No you're not
>>25944905
This. If Anon ever forgives AJ, it won't be for her; it'll be so that he can move on.
>>25945035
>It's going to be within the show's parameters, though I will be bending some laws of physics to be a touch more realistic.
Well if your so sure that it will fit with the tone and are willing to defend it from speculation from random Anon's then clearly you've thought this through and want it very badly. So go on do your writefag magic your way m80 you probably know best.
I mean worst case scenario its absolutely awful and the thread crucifies you in a bashing spree shit storm.And you already know those things aren't that bad and that anons are quick to move on
>>25944354
If Anon had to be civil to any of them AJ is the one to be civil to. I don't think he is weak from showing this much friendliness to her with the appropriate amount of backhanded comments, but he shouldn't be this kind to say Twilight. The only thing that was weak willed about Anon here is how he didn't put his foot down with AJ in explaining tomatoes relationship to humans (would have been another great opportunity to demonstrate to her how vastly different we are from them to tie into the colts being flaky thing). But that's about it (and that is a very minor thing anyway) want to see more dude
>>25944427
Want to see dawning realization.
"Applejack, let me explain this to you in small words so that you'll understand."
>Applejack just glares at you for the slight.
"You guys are big on friendship, right? How long do you plan on being best friends with the other Elements? A few years? Ten years? Forever?"
>"Best friends for life, sugarcube."
"Let's say you make friends with a mare. No romance, just platonic friendship."
"Over the course of years you become very close friends, best friends."
"You do everything together. You're two peas in a pod, brothers from another mother.... or sisters from another mister. Whatever."
"Now one day, a new mare comes to town. Let's say Trixie. Your friend sees her and notices how much BETTER Trixie is than you."
>APplejack looks like she wants to interupt, but holds her tongue.
"And suddenly, the mare doesn't want to be friends with you any more. She stops talking to you, stops hanging out with you, and treats Trixie the exact same way she treated you. She isn't your best friend anymore, Trixie is."
>You pace in front of AJ, buildin gup a head of steam
"All those years you spent meant nothing to her. They meant everything to you, but she discarded them the minute something better than you came around."
"YOU meant nothing to her. She saw you as less than a pony, something she can play with and have fun with until you were no longer the best thing."
>You turn and glare at AJ, trying not to cry.
"Are you telling me that you wouldn't feel the tiniest bit sad? Angry? Would you not understand why the pony you considered your closest friend just abandoned you? WOuldn't you be upset when she answers your question of "why?" with "Trixie is better. Get over it, AJ, find a new friend."
>Applejack falls down onto her rump, eyes's wide and mouth open in shock.
>NOW she gets it.
>Cunt.
>>25944873
>>25944806
>mfw he'sBACK FROM THE PAST
Can we get any stories or ideas about New Years?
>>25945335
No
New Year's resolution: Do nothing new or interesting
>>25945212
See, that is a legit response if the old herd keeps pushing him on why he won't go back.
>>25945434
This. 110% correct
>TFW New fucking Year is coming for me in 20 minetus
happy fucking NewYear, westdykes.
>>25945546
Hey, let me know how 2016 feels.I haven't had a good year since '12.
>>25945590
In an hour.
Though I can say ahead of time that it begins with caviar, olivje and the afterglow of Our Glorious Leader's Speech.
>>25944905
>Twilight is more responsible and more deserving of contempt
This.
This recent bent we've been on with the old v. new herd, which is a fun prompt, has really pushed one of my buttons: property rights. His old herd leaves him and is shitty about it: okay, that's bad and he's got a right to be pissed, but that happens. The fact that they can just take all of the joint property and the property that he out and out bought himself? That coupled with the hints that as a male anon can't do meaningful work that allows him to pay his own way just pisses me off.
Having to start over, again, would just suck. I'd love to see a story where anon busts out some classical liberal ideology about inherent dignity and human rights. End with a big speechifying moment where he's the impetus for social change, and the old herd is on the wrong side of history for all history.Also, he ends up with New Herd, which is either best princesses, the non-cunty elements, or some combination thereof.
>>25945618Russia?
>>25945638
That sounds likework
>>25945638
I want an Anon that can adapt and overcome without being a massive faggot.
Apply precise teat-twisting to some more desperate mares that will act as his face in the world, secretly amass wealth through careful dissemination of intellectual property, become a de-facto power in horsequestia like some fucking cunty tycoon pone. Smile whenever they show they good old good natured sexisms
>>25945649
yes
>>25945669
>I want an Anon that can adapt and overcome without being a massive faggot. . . Smile whenever they show they good old natured sexisms.
Anon goes full Catherine de' Medici? I'd read the shit out of that.
>spoilerFreedomland here. Why the fuck can't we get along? You take your half of the world, we'll take our half, and fuck the pseudopowers that cry on the side lines. We've got too much in common to keep letting shitty nations and petty interests draw us into pissing contests.
>>25944354
If Anon were to accept back a single member of his old herd into his new one, I'd absolutely go for howdy horse.
Let her back at the bottom rung, give her a chance to actually learn how humans work this time, rekindle that romance and have a three way with her sister.
>>25945739
I get that that statement is prefaced by an if, and if you held a gun to my head and say make that call, choose one of the old three, I'd make the same call. Having said that, I do not, under any circumstances, want to be romantically involved with the old herd.
Cultural differences aside, >>25945212 did a good job of explaining why.
>>25944354
You know, the more I read this the more I want Anon to really twist the knife at the end. I would legit cheer if Anon fucked his new herd insensate right in front of his old herd. Straight up looked the old her in the eyes as he fucked the new herd straight into exhaustion.
Bonus points if somehow the rest of the town sees and gets why anons stamina and recovery are so impressive, and they talk shit on TT and the old herd for that reason.
>>25945733
The Russian people are great, but don't trust Putin. He's manipulative and power hungry.
And our president is just an idiot.
>>25945590
So yeah, 2016 feels pretty great, all things considered. Better than 2015 or 2014, at least. The NY address was better. Caviar was better. Much more fun and merriment. No pressing political issues on everybody's minds.
>>25945733
>We've got too much in common
Different civilizations, different ideologies, different faiths.
And half the world is too much, as there are more that two civilizations that want a pick.
Sorry for starting your year with shit lol
>>25946359
Friendly reminder that Russian people by and large support Putin, and many outright like him.
>>25946373
>Friendly reminder that Russian people by and large support Putin, and many outright like him.
Gonna need a source for that friend.
>>25946373
>>25946383
Friendly reminder that Donald Fucking Trump is a strong contender for the presidency of the United States of Eagleland.
>>25945034
What is a Captain-Save-A-Hoe? I know it's similar to a white knight but what is it exactly?
>>25946614
Friendly reminder that /pol/ should pls go.
>>25946614
Is this supposed to be a bad thing?
>>25946684
I'm saying it as a bad/absurd thing. Isn't /pol/ like arch-conservative? It's been a while since I waded through that cesspool.
>>25946684
Amen to that. Sorry I got into it, sis, I was baited hard.
>>25946383
Pol will provide some, unless you dismiss them as conspiracy sources!!
>>25946688 >>25946614 >>25946712
staahp, you're making Lieutenant Rzhevsky feel slight discomfort
>>25946712
>Isn't /pol/ like arch-conservative?
I think so. I just meant more that politics are perhaps not a great subject for this place.
If it makes you feel better, he's more or less a fucking meme, with people largely giving him attention to make fun of how absurd he is. I don't think there's any real chance he'd ever be elected, especially since he tends to piss huge chunks of the country off every time he opens his mouth.
>>25946757
>If it makes you feel better, he's more or less a fucking meme, with people largely giving him attention to make fun of how absurd he is.
He was a meme at the start of things, but after being the clear front runner for two straight fiscal quarters he's less memetic and more contender.
![4d92e731b822_thumb[3].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/poNa8BA.jpg "4d92e731b822_thumb[3].jpg")
>>25946757
Politics are great for RGRE, just not exactly Terran politics, and certainly not today.
Today we all durnk
SO GUYS why is Twilight always the white knight in RGRE? I would assume that since her brother got as far into his career as he did (pre-marriage) that she'd realize that stallions don't need her help or whatever.
>>25946757
>If it makes you feel better, he's more or less a fucking meme, with people largely giving him attention to make fun of how absurd he is. I don't think there's any real chance he'd ever be elected, especially since he tends to piss huge chunks of the country off every time he opens his mouth.
numerous media stories on his campaign have taken this perspective but it hasn't stopped him from being the consistent forerunner in the republican race and given the lack of a serious opponent, unless he tremendously fucks up (and for him I don't even know what that would look like, maybe eating a baby on live television or something) he's probably gonna get the nomination. on the other side, even democrats tend to see hilary as unlikably "political" (the whole changing her accent/political opinions at the drop of a hat thing) and as for sanders its still really hard to imagine america electing a dude who actively calls himself something with "socialist" in its title.
I'm not saying trump is a shoe-in or anything but it's not nearly as absurd as the media is making it out to be.
actually have we ever elected anybody president who never held political office before? I guess there are the "general" presidents, washington, grant, eisenhower, but at that level, being in the military sorta becomes a political office.
>>25946878
>SO GUYS why is Twilight always the white knight in RGRE?
Well, in the recent string of stories she isn't.
>>25946924
>actually have we ever elected anybody president who never held political office before?
Obama served part of a Senate term. Not the full term, mind you, just part of one. In recent memory that's as close as we've got.
>>25946936
Glad we steered the conversation back to the topic at hand. Thanks, faggot.
>>25946968
Anytime, cocksock!
>>25944427
>thoughts
ow, my feels
>>25944806
>DD - I've figured out what I want to do for their first date day. So I can start writing that again.
all my hype
>>25945212
this is the one thing that really bugs me about this story. in a world ruled by friendship and BFFs, why would love be treated so differently from friendship? only explanation i can come up with is that stallions really are that flaky and uncaring, so mares, to protect their own feelings, developed the same attitude at stallions. not a terribly strong concept though, even if it may have some basis in reality.
>>25944458
very interesting concept anon
I was originally just going to make it Val the hunter vs Anon the hunted
but it would be interesting to see something like this
>princesses form A team to capture anon
>shenanigans
>finally capture him
>but then the conflict arisies
>who gets the HMD?
ill ponder this
>>25946878
>why is Twilight always the white knight in RGRE?
Do you want an in-universe reason or the actual reason people write her that way?
Actual reason: she's a bookish introvert at the beginning of the series, and that roughly corresponds to the sort of dude who becomes a white-knight. The type of dude who has never really had any female friends so he sees them as archetypes instead of people and thinks he needs to put em up on a pedestal.
An alternative version is that she's the awkward MRA/pickup-artist (not a competent one that actually gets laid though, just the kind who dresses up in weird hats and awkwardly mumbles out "negs" to stallions at the bar) type, someone who gets all her knowledge of how to interact with stallions from shit she's read in books or heard from other insecure mares. Either way, her problems with the opposite sex are the result of her being an introvert who has never really had ANY kind of relationship with a stallion, romantic or otherwise.
In-universe I guess you can justify it by saying there are plenty of real-world dudes who have mothers and sisters they love but who are still wicked sexist towards women they're not related to. Maybe she sees her brother as an exception, maybe because he's not a sexual prospect she subconsciously doesn't categorize him as male, maybe his accomplishments aren't as impressive to a mare who was once the protege of God and who is now a god-princess herself, who knows.
>>25947138
Mah zig. Nailed it like a fucking goddess.
>>25947260
Your "a" is in the wrong place, bro. Move it to the right one word.
>You are Anon, and there's a changeling in your bed.
>Yup, a tiny baby changeling is cuddled into your side like a widdle sweetheart.
>She didn't have a name, so you name her Cuddle Wings.
>You were going to go for a normal name like "Mary" or "Cocksleeve", but you wanted something that would blend in with the other ponies.
>She arrived on your doorstep about three months ago, battered and bleeding.
>She survived the raid on Canterlot, and when she was unable to find her Hive, she locked on to the largest source of love in the general area and headed out for it.
>Turns out humans have love in spades.
>Maybe it has something to do with Friendship LITERALLY being magic.
>Since you have no way of doing any magic, your Friendship reserves are untouched.
>Sometimes you find other regular ponies snuggled up to you when you wake up in the morning, but you never recognize any of them.
>You're pretty sure they're other changelings.
"Wake up, sweetheart."
>Cuddle Wings tosses and turns in her sleep and lets out an adorable whine.
>"Don' wanna..."
>Aww.
>You pick her up anyways.
>Your little darling can't waste away the day now, can she?
>"Daaaad! Put me down!"
>Your heart climaxes ever time she calls you "dad".
>You were heartbroken when you realized that, being the only human (and priding yourself as a non-horsefucker), you were unlikely to ever have children of your own.
>But then Cuddle Wings came into your life, and you've never been happier.
>The citizens of Ponyville reacted one of three ways:
>One, they admired you for adopting a filly (you made sure her disguise was flawless when she left the house) and raising her all on your own.
>Two, they pitied you for being unable to find a nice mare to support you.
>Every fucking pony in this town is like a Jewish mother, swear to god.
>"Oh Anon, your neighbour has a herd. Why don't you?"
>>25947333
>Turns out the "single Dad" look gets more pity than anything else; Twilight explained to you that it implies that you weren't fit to lead a herd, and your mares dumped their/your kid(s) onto you.
>That's when she tried to pity-fuck you.
>Right in front of your daughter.
>There's a reason you live on the edge of town, man.
>You bring Cuddle Wings into the living room while you go wake up her sisters.
>Again, you're pretty sure they're changelings, but you can't prove anything.
>DING DONG
>oh goodness who could this be
>You open your door and find a tall unicorn mare, about the hight of Princess Celestia.
>"Hello, human. I am... Sunny Days, and I just wanted to check up on yo-"
>>"Mommy!"
>Cuddle Wings, sans disguise, comes running into the room and wraps her hooves around Sunny Days' forelegs.
>The other four identical bug-fillies (YOU FUCKING KNEW IT) join in and jabber on about how much they missed her and how much fun they're having with "daddy".
>Long story short, the new changeling hive is situated just outside of Ponyville.
>Now that you've apparently listened to the ponies and found a "herd", nopony suspects a thing.
THE END
Happy New Years, faggots.
>>25947333
Yay
>>25947349
third way is i forgot what the third way is
>>25947349
>Turns out the "single Dad" look gets more pity than anything else; Twilight explained to you that it implies that you weren't fit to lead a herd, and your mares dumped their/your kid(s) onto you.
Fun oneshot, but shouldn't this not count for Anon considering he adopted?
>>25947392
"Cuddle Wings" wasn't listed as an orphan in the system, so they assumed he somehow procreated.
>>25947413
>One, they admired you for adopting a filly (you made sure her disguise was flawless when she left the house) and raising her all on your own.
But this statement implies they know she's adopted?
>>25947442
....fuck.
I don't know. magic.
