Old Thread: >>25846630
New GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1
Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
http://pastebin.com/u/CrazyRain
Got this new thread smell in here.
Time for cute fluffy mares
>>25893959
I'm all for the chest fluff being an attractive quality thing.
Because it is.
>Anon collects weapons as a hobby
>His house is full of guns, swords, knives, etc
>Combined with his strange ways, ponies think he's a radical stallionist preparing for a masculine revolution
Dead thread. Dead general.
Friendly reminder:
Rarity swims in stallions because she is famous, stylish and suave. Has no respect for males, and instead of a prince she'd rather have the sexy, obedient butler.
Pinkie Pie is a pickup artist - as in, truly ARTist, not the kind that read a few books. First she approaches some colts having their stallionly spice lattes, and BAM - your colts are now stallions! Other mares always ask her how she does it. Well, she just goes and fucks them, silly!
Flutters is just too hot - hot damn! She is actually a fire hazard, and must report regularly to the fireponies. Stallions spill hay in front of her so much she bales it up and sells it. Some say she gets fish for her carnivorous animals by flirting with griffons and getting them to spill it from their pockets.
Applejack is a tradcon, and believes in purity until marriage, Not only that, she also is the mare of a family of four, forced upon her when she was still too young. The only romantic experience she had was with a colt in school. Still technically a virgin.
Rainbow Dash is mixed case. Her constantly absent single mother didn't - and couldn't - teach her how to deal with stallions, and her character doesn't help. She had little luck with the fair sex, but not because of lack of trying. To make matters worse, she seems to be monosexual. Constant sexual frustration on all fronts made her bitter about romance and mean towards colts.
Twilight Sparkle forgot to leave the library when everypony hit puberty. She has zero sexual experience, and had zero relationships. Her view of sexuality is heavily skewed by whoever yells the loudest at the moment. She is going through a white knight phase right now.
>>25894004
>Her view of sexuality is heavily skewed by whoever yells the loudest at the moment.
>In comes LOUDanon
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM, TWILIGHT?!"
>[Aroused horse noises]
"STOP EATING MY GODDAMN TOOTHPASTE YOU SILLY HORSE, THAT'S NOT FOOD"
>>Last time
>Luna sighs again, her head coming to rest on your chest. “‘Twas your old herd…”
>Your blood turns to ice.
“Wha…?”
>Words seem to fail you.
“How...Why? Why are they…?
>You can feel Luna gulp nervously. “They want you back… They say that their new colt was not as good as you,” she finishes with venom.
>The ice in your veins turns to horrid fire in an instant.
--------
“They. What?”
>”They…” Luna hesitates, “They came here looking for you. They do not want their new colt any longer.”
>You take a deep breath and try to keep your head cool, least you start yelling and wake Celestia.
>She was dead on her hooves the day after you did that last.
>Turning your awareness back outward, you see Luna’s large, worried eyes staring at you.
>Why does she look so glum?
“You’re worried I’d go back with them?” You ask gently.
>It’s a valid fear. A few times you were worried that Celestia and Luna would bail for somepony more handsome, more talented, more… equine. Yet they never did.
>You entertained the thought a few times. About what it would be like to go back.
>Thinking about Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack sends a painful, jealous pang through your chest, but…
>Hearing the content pony-purr of the sleepy sun princess and looking into the beautiful eyes of the moon princess, the pang fades to nothing.
>Nothing but a reminder that you were thrown out like an animal.
>The large pony opens her mouth to reply to your question, a refute practically visible on her tongue, but she stops at the last moment and just nods demurely.
>You huff. That won’t do.
>Your hand migrates from the Luna’s back to her neck, where you gently push her towards yourself.
>The alicorn blinks, but doesn't resist. She does, however, go stiff as a board when you catch her lips in a tender kiss.
>For being a millennia old, Luna is still so adorably awkward that you can’t help but smile into the kiss.
1/?
More + pastebin once I get home.
>>25894093
This story pushes all my buttons. Please continue this NOF.Please finish this one?
>>25894086
holy shit durnk let's get horsemarried
>IN COMES EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE CAPSLOCK PRINCESS
>"TWILIGHT SPARKLE! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? WHY HAVE YOU INTRUDED UPON A COLT IN HIS PRIVATE MOMENT? EXPLAIN YOURSELF POSTHASTE!"
>[orgasming horse noises]
>>25894003
>day Anon in Deadquestria
>everyhorse is some variety of undead
>since you have no soul you are kinda undead too
>they welcome you with open hooves and horsemarriages
>some shenanigans ensue and you get horsemarried to Vomp-Bon and Mummyra
>so you twist mummy-Lyra's teats
>and they fall off
>"It's ok, Anon. A little part of me will always be with you."
>"Now you can twist my teats even when I'm away!"
>This is the most romatic present anyone has ever got you
>You twist them all the time
>>25894267
I read a story like this once. This girl played with herself so much that her clit fell off. She spent the next 5 pages being dommed by whomever owned it as it was passed around an all girls school.
>>25894267
>Be anon in stressquestria
>Horses do not wanna stop bothering you and messing with your shit
>Only mares for some reason
>Unicorns teleporting into your house for shit
>Earth ponehs be knocking your doors in
>And bird pones keep splashing in your bird bath
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BIRD BATH DASH!"
>Stupid bird pones
>The sound of ponies teleporting into your home stops you from beating her with a broom
>"Hey, Anon ready to get horse married?"
>Ponies be stressing you too much, specifically Harp ass
>time to take matters into your own hands.
>You grab the horse and begin twisting them teats
>"A-anon~"
>Shit this feels amazing.
>Like a stress ball that moans
"Fuck it, you can stay."
>And that's how you got horse married to Lyra.Did I do good, Senpai?
>>25894385
Harp Butt needs more love. Sperglight needs less.
>>25894406
>Sperglight
>less love
Why? The poor thing studied through puberty. She has a chronic love deficiency. Only gentle and regularteat-twistingcan help her.
>>25894385
you better use an earth pony for stressballin. They are sturdier
>I want to bon Bon-Bon's bonbons
>>25894351
holy fucking shit
>>25894093
aww shit nigga
i need more of this
What would people suspect certain pony's tufts to be on a scale of 1-10.
1 being nothing, and 10 being thick swaths of silky smooth fur that you could spend hours petting and snuggling.
>>25895571
Rainbow has a 6, she says it's an 8 but she works really hard to poof it and maintain it for the colts, so it looks like an 8.
Twilight has a 4 and she's okay with it.
Ponks has a 9, but she don't need to flaunt it, all the colts know and love it.
Applejack has an 8, but she doesn't brag, she knows it.
Rarity has a 7, but she works even harder than rainbow to give it that 9 look.
Fluttershy has a natural 9, no need to work on it, and she's too shy to really show it off.
>>25894003
Day ded in dedquestria
Be Anon
>and be settling down for a good nights sleep after building your house
>it only took one whole day too, gotta love that deus ex machina
>snuggling down into your sheets you drift peacefully off to sleep
>the clock strikes 12, but that isn't what wakes you
>you are ripped from your decadent dream by something far more sinister
>it started quietly at first, the became louder
>then it was so loud you were certain it was right outside your window
>no, it can't be, not here.
>you sneak over to the window and peer out, refusing to believe what you counldn't see
K2rwxs1gH9w
>peering out of your window you see them, everywhere
>barely containing your guttural cry of terror you rush into your closet and hide benith your clothes
>why, what have you done to deserve such a terrible fate.
>>25895664
whoops, fucked up that link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w
>>25895571
>swaths of silky smooth fur that you could spend hours petting and snuggling
shit nigga, that shounds like 100% of gryphons
with all the talk about minotits and whatnot
we've never had MANOTAURS
like amazonian for minotaurs
>>25894267
What's vomp-bon supposed to be?
>>25894385
Fucking teleporty unicorns and their home invading.
Fucking smashy earthpons and their destruction of property.
Wait.
What if you tamed a pony and trained it to chase the others away?
>>25895571
>>25895660
>Anon emaresculates all the ponies with his 15/10 chest hair when he goes swimming with his friends
>>25895727
Those are just a myth.
>>25895664
>Be Anon in RGR Skelequestria
>Skeleton ponies have surrounded your house
>Ceaseless rattling drowns out all other sounds
>They all wantYOUR BONER
>>25895803
That's what stress balls harp ass is for, is like a tele gun when you twist teats.
>>25895803
Day durnk anun in RGR equestria
Be Durnk Anun
>and be in your favorite dive in canterlot
>why canterlot? why the princesses had invited you and all other EOH to a holiday getaway
>that entailed staying at their castle while you went out and tore up the city
>and right now you are polishing off the...the..oh what ever drink that was
>you slam the empty shotglass down on the table and give a victorious glare at your oponent
>this poor mare challenged you to a drinking contest
>she gets the glass up to her lips, but the smell alone causes her to drop it and throw up all over her lap
>jumping up you rip your shirt open and give a victory shout
UUURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
>the mare just falls onto the floor
>casting a glance at her pitiful form you drag your thumb across your throat
"pssh, nuthin personal, kid"
>suddenly Gryphoness from across bar walks up, giving you the bedroom eyes
>is intercepted by deer visiting from everfree, bedroom eyes
>is intercepted by kangaroo outta nowhere, bedroom eyes
>start arguing over Durnk Anun
>Durnk Anun moonwalks over
>Ladies, plz
>there's enough of me to go around
>Much chirstmas cheer that evening, and lost sleep.
whatcha drinking durnk?
if you could play the pones one video
what would you show themhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0
Floor clear?
>>25895828
>is like a tele gun when you twist teats.
What happens when you twist the clit?
>>25896061
instantaneous orgasm
>>25896050
Yes, if you don't mind the soup from >>25896061
>>25896085
>>25896097
Ahueheuheue Here we go.
>>25894093
>>You huff. That won’t do.
>>Your hand migrates from the Luna’s back to her neck, where you gently push her towards yourself.
>>The alicorn blinks, but doesn't resist. She does, however, go stiff as a board when you catch her lips in a tender kiss.
>>For being a millennia old, Luna is still so adorably awkward that you can’t help but smile into the kiss.
-------------------
“You’re WHAT?!” You yells so loud that it must have echoed around the whole orchard.
>Your mares recoil, as of not expecting the outburst. But how could they not? Who the hell just drops news like this?
>Were you… were you not good enough?
>”Now, Anon…” Applejack starts, her gentle, drawling voice no where near as soothing as it used to be, “It ain’t you, sug. It’s us. We came together and well…”
>”We’re dumping you, dude. Sorry,” Rainbow cuts in, looking more bored than apologetic. “Look, I’m going to spare you all the fake sympathy. We gotta move on. What we had was fun, but good things gotta end sometime.”
>You choke on nothing, too shocked to form words.
>How the hell? WHY THE HELL? WHY?!
“Girls…” you’re still so stunned that the word barely makes it out. “Why? W-what did I do to drive you away like t-this?”
>Both Twilight and Applejack wince before glaring at a suddenly defensive Rainbow.
2/?
>>25896121
>”Anon, it’s not like that. You didn’t do anything,” Twilight states firmly. “It’s not your fault. We just… We decided we wanted somepony else. We’re just moving on better opportunities is all. It’s the same thing any other herd would have done. It’s a new start for all of us, you included.”
>A common opportunity. That’s what they saw you as. Something nice to have until a better one comes by. A trophy maybe. You’re just a walking, talking, shiny bauble to them.
>No dammit! Focus!
>You bite your tongue so hard that you taste blood, the pain and the copper taste bringing you back to full clarity.
>You fucked something up. You had to. For nearly a year you’ve been a family with these three. You know them. You know how ponies work. They are NOT this heartless! This cruel! They can’t be!
>You let out a shuddering breath.
>”G-girls. I’m being serious here. If you three have problems with me, we need to talk about them. Not… Not just jump to extremes like this. Talk to me, tell me what I messed up so we can fix it.”
>The three look between each other. AJ seems disheartened, Rainbow rolls her eyes, and Twilight keeps her face neutral.
>This is good. They must already have their grievances rea-
>”I’m sorry, Anon, but there is nothing to talk about,” Twilight says, refusing to look you in the eye. “Rainbow, Applejack and I already talked it out. We’re leaving. There’s nothing more to be said.”
3/?
>>25896121
i've been waiting for you
>>25896050
go for it laddy
>>25896129
>You blink. Not processing Twilight’s words over the sudden pain in your chest.
>Looking down, you half expect to see a knife sticking out of your sternum.
>You are unmarred.
“W-what..?” You ask yourself more than anyone.
>Applejack walks up to stand next to you. “Ahh cmon, Anon. It ain’t all bad. We even got you a full week before you gotta move out. Thats WAY more than other stallions get.”
>You’re not sure your heart can withstand many more shocks.
“Wait, did you say move out?!” You almost scream, suddenly feeling hysterical. “Y-you can’t do that! I co-signed on that house! It’s mine just as much as it is yours! Hell, I bought most of the stuff in that house with my own money!”
>Rainbow frowns. “Cmon Anon. Don’t whine about it. You're starting to sound like Rarity. There’s some law saying mares can take houses or something. Besides, you got it easy. You just have to shack up with another mare. It’s not like you’re gunna go without somewhere to sleep.”
>Don’t whine, she says.
>You’ve got it easy, she says.
>SHACK UP WITH ANOTHER MARE, SHE FUCKING SAYS.
“Alright girls, j-jokes over,” you start, suddenly feeling on the verge of a breakdown. “L-lets get home. I can get lunch fixed up and we’ll hopefully never pull a prank like this again.”
>You pray, pray to whatever forces out there that Rainbow Dash jumps up, yells ‘Got ya!’ and then tackles you in a hug like she usually does. That this is just a joke that got taken too far.
>Turning your eyes to Rainbow, she quickly looks away and paws at the ground with a hoof.
4/?
>>25896142
>... This isn’t a joke. You were just kicked out of your family. The mares you swore to love until death have turned their backs on you. The ones whose culture you struggled to assimilate into. The ones you would have DIED for.
>For the second time in your life, your family has been ripped away from you.
>You are alone. Again.
>You choke back the miserable cry that tried to escape your throat and jerk backwards so fast that you almost trip.
>The throb in your chest turns into a cutting agony that nearly drops you to your knees.
>You turn around and do the only thing you can.
>You walk away.
>The sounds of hooves on dirt and wings fluttering is absent, telling you that you’re not being followed.
>The walk from Sweet Apple Acres to town seems to last an eternity, letting you dwell on the abrupt change to your life.
>What did you mess up? Why are they so upset with you? They love you, and you know it. You know it for sure.
>’But how sure is ‘“sure”’ a voice hisses in the back your head.
“FUCK OFF!” You scream, disbelief powering your voice.
>You don’t pay any mind to the startled ponies in the street and sprint the rest of the way home.
>Your quaint, two story home is within your sight in less than a minute. And never has this house looked so repulsive.
5/?
>>25896157
>This isn’t your home. No. This was some other guy’s home now. Nevermind that you paid for half of it.
>Fucking ponies. Fucking herds. FUCKING EVERYTHING!
>Gone is the grief, replaced with an inferno-like rage the could swallow a whole world in it’s flaming maw.
>You storm into the second floor bedroom and dig under the huge, herd sized mattress, still unmade from this morning. A moment later your hand finds purchase on a jingling bag that you pocket without a second thought.
>Before you leave, you look back at the bed, your anger cooling to a low simmer.
>Just a month before, on the last night of winter’s end, you, Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow lay curled up. It was just before you all fell into Luna’s realm, and the talk was drowsy and sincere.
>Twilight was to your left, Rainbow on your right, and Applejack resting snug between the blanket and your chest.
>You lean on the bedroom door frame as the memory becomes more intense, superimposing itself over your eyes.
>Just before sleep took you, you told them all you would love them forever.
>As one, they all replied the same, smiles on their faces.
>...They lied.
>All at once, the fury you had a moment prior comes back with a vengeance, red actually bleeding into your vision.
>You stomp downstairs, a plan in mind.
6/?
>>25896165
>They want this house? They can have it. Or what’s left if it.
>You head to the kitchen and snatch the newspaper off the table. With it, you walk over to the toaster and stuff the inked paper into it.
>A quick survey of the house tells you that all the windows are closed. Good.
>Walking back to the kitchen, you turn all the stove burners on without sparking them, which quickly starts to fill the room with hazy gas.
“Have fun…” you say to yourself, as you turn on the toaster with the paper still in it.
>With a few swift steps, you’re at the front door and exiting the house, being sure to close the door behind you firmly.
>Less than ten minutes later, you’re at the train station with a ticket to Canterlot in your hand.
>Well. This is it. You're leaving into a great unknown again. Alone.
>You can’t go to their friends. You know how that will end. You’ll be painted as some lunatic colt trying to pull off some attention seeking stunt.
>The same goes for the rest of town. It your word against three national heros. You, the alien colt, will lose each time.
>So lost on your thoughts, you are, that you barely hear the thunderous bang across town as you board the train.
7/8
>>25896176
>Your suddenly tired and leaden feet carry you to the back compartment, which is thankfully deserted.
>As you lie down on the seats, you cover your eyes with your arm and try to clear your mind.
>You let out a full body shudder.
>All you’re successful at doing is soaking your sleeve with the tears you’ve been holding back.
>You are Anonymous. The only human in Equestria.
>You’re alone, afraid, heartbroken, and have only pocket change to your name.
>God. Damn. It. All.
>You lie still. Your lack of options really starting to sink in.
>Everything slowly starts to fade to black. Taking away even the sight of your closed eyelids
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtzO2DC1WVU
>A beautiful comes from… somewhere. But you can’t see where, or even pinpoint where it’s coming from.
>Just hearing it… You could listen for years.
>Then, it says something. Something to you.
>”Anonymous, wake up.”[/spoiler]
8/8
cranking that shit out nof
>>25896186
Heh, now that' a nice "Fuck you!" to those three bitches.
>>25896186
fug. Ol mister Jack Danny is good for creativity, but not spelling and shit. It'll all be fixed sometime.
http://pastebin.com/DDf6pSP4
>>25896176
>>25896186
>Buy house
>Forced out due to some bullshit
>Burning the house down to spite those that are stealing it from you
Just same solution i was thinking about this premise for weeks
Wonderfully written.
>>25890445
When I said Anon was the bitchy girl, I wasn't totally serious and I didn't mean it in a bad way.
I just meant that if you consider which character from a high school movie he would be, he'd probably be the dark, mysterious, overly-sexual, teasing, self-assured, slightly grungy loner secondary character who you're supposed to like because she's a "good guy" even though she's the definition of bitch.
But as far as the story goes, we really haven't seen enough of everyone's personalities to make that sort of judgment for real.
>>25896217
This is fucking gold -- more soon, plz.
>>25894004
Your headcanons a shit
>>25896226
He's more intended to be the quiet nerd at the back that nobody talks to, but as he ends up being dragged into the social side of things, he's kinda odd because he's masculine where he should be feminine(Or marely where he should be colty)
>>25896217
This shit is good shit. Keep writing shit.
>>25896217
>>25896186
>Lots of genuine NOFpost
It's a good time to be alive.
>>25896221
>burn the house down
>leave town seeking adventure
That's some Lodoss level shit right there. Anon gonna get gud.
>>25896217
Keep it up, breh. I'm lovin this.
>>25896186
>>A beautiful comes from… somewhere
a beautiful what
A BEAUTIFUL WHAT
>>25896306
A beautiful clit.
Or teats.
Or minotits.
>>25896176
>So lost on your thoughts, you are, that you barely hear the thunderous bang across town as you board the train.
Haha, holy shit. You have no idea how both great and hilarious I found him burning the fucking house down was.
>>25896306
>A beautiful comes
>beautiful comes
Its written clearly on the package. Anon busted a sweet load somewhere.
>>25896306
>>25896306
voice.
Just mcfuck my shit up family
>>25896294
>That's some Lodoss level shit right there.
>Lodoss
>>25896306
a beautifulduwang
>>25896217
Also, with Celestia and Luna's foreknowledge and support, he can also throw back in their faces that he too "moved on to better things as a colt should", throwing their --mainly Dash's-- reasoning back straight in their faces.
That would 'sting' like a punt to the cunt.
And he doesn't regret it.
A thought: Twilight appeals to Cadence for help: When she quietly probes the three during a convenient visit, she finds nothing but hurt, anger, and disgust aimed at Twi, Apple, and Dash from Anon -- what feelings he once had from them are deader than Applejack's parents.
Celestia also announcing her disappointment in Twilight for being so shallow and callous would seriously rock Book Horse's world.
>>25896480
And I repeated 'to the face!' twice like a retard. Go me. -_-
mkay I might have had to much to drink. i can respond to any critizems and that stuff tomorow.
night
also fuck you captca
>>25896493
>-_-
back to tumblr
>>25896653
Anon was bourne to blow up that house.
Also, it's not like the girls could take him to court over it.
They just left while knowing he had no family, no backup mares and likely not many friends that weren't also their friends (and wouldn't want to be seen as going for Anon on the rebound. Also, he may have second degree anger towards some of them.)
Now all I need is some comfy story, and my day will be set
>>25896036
It's Gryphanon. You going to pick up any more of your "Trophy Husband Anon" stories?
>>25896186
I was really hoping Anon would burn the house down rather than let them just take what he paid for. You did not disappoint.
Not as satisfying as a nice molotov, but probably better to already be gone by the time it burns, even if males are almost legally untouchable in horselvania.
>>25896701
>Also, it's not like the girls could take him to court over it.
it's their fault for not keeping their colt under better control. they should know that colts cant be trusted alone around complicated appliances like that!
>>25896186
more when?
Sorry bout being dead mates. Rest of it here; http://pastebin.com/P6fsuH6m
>Man you are so late.
>Opening the door to the shop you hear a bell tinkle.
>”Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is hip, chic and unique.”
“Hey Rarity.”
>Rarity looks up from a set of dresses she is sorting with her magic to notice your entrance.
>”Anonymous! I know it’s your first day here, but please don’t be late.”
“Yeah about that, I visited Sugarcube Corner for a quick breakfast and well Pinkie had dropped a cake on me and there was frosting everywhere…”
>”Pinkie dropped a cake on you? How strange she’s hardly ever that clumsy before.”
>Rarity hums to herself before she lets out a gasp.
“Is something wrong?”
>Rarity scrunchies her snout as she looks back at you before she regains her composure and lets out a titter.
>”Oh it’s nothing Darling, just a little rumor that I just remembered. At any rate here is what I need you to do.”
>You follow after that pert rump, not that you’re noticing or anything.
>Leading you upstairs you both pause as a fuzzy maned filly sticks her head out rubbing her eyes, “Rarity?”
>Sweetie Belle lets out a cute little yawn covering her mouth with a hoof.
>”What time is it?”
>”Oh sorry Sweetie Bell we didn’t mean to wake you, it’s still six in the morning, you do remember it’s Saturday right?”
“Hey Belle.”
>”Oh...I’m gonna go back to sleep then…”
>Before you both the sweet little filly leans against the door and soft snoring can be heard.
>You look at Rarity trying hard not to daw aloud.
>>25897085
>Rarity meanwhile is flustered as she starts to levitate her sister, “I am so terribly sorry Anon, Sweetie Bell get’s up at the most oddest of times.”
“It’s fine, I’m used to having to help siblings to bed before.”
>”Oh? Did they fall asleep out of bed often?”
>Following after Rarity you pull out the blanket letting her set the filly onto the bed.
>Tucking Sweetie Bell in she rolls over curling the blanket into a small ball of stuffed burrito filly.
“Yeah a time or two, or they fall asleep on the way to someplace.”
>You smile in fond memory of your siblings unaware of Rarity glancing at you with some thought.
>”Mm, well let’s continue on and let the little princess sleep hrm?”
>Nodding you follow after the unicorn.
“You really care for her don’t you?”
>”She’s my little angel, though she can be quite an annoyance at times, she’s still my sister.”
>Stopping at the top of the staircase Rarity gives you a calm smile, “No matter how much they bother you sisters stick together.”
>Augh, you forgot about those heart strings…
>Sniffing a bit you rub your nose before clearing your throat.
“Anyway, what was it that I’m doing here anyway?”
>Rarity’s smile turns from heartfelt to a sheepish one as she uses her magic to open a door at the end of the hallway.
>Plumes of dust and stale air exhales in a dying breath.
>Coughing you wave the smoke away peering inside to find a hallway filled with old dresses that seem to have not seen the light of day in quite a while.
>>25897099
>”These are some of the past seasons that I wasn’t able to sell, so I’ve had them stored in here for now. If you could be a dear Darling and sort through them in accordance to color I can start to break them down to reuse the fabric.”
>Humming to yourself you look through some of the clothing carious stlyes catch your eye and you spot a few that remind you of a Victorian petticoat, a disco dance suit and even a doublet of fine cloth in a burgundy color that reminds you of a show about some game.
“Couldn’t you do a sale on these dresses?”
>”Oh hardly that Darling, they are all out of season, not a single well to do pony would ever be caught in them!”
“Well no, maybe not sell them as the hottest fashion piece, but advertise it as a sale on a retro style of dress.”
>Rarity blinks a few times as she tries to think it through, eventually she raises an eyebrow in confusion before bending her hoof towards you.
“Basically you get somepony who's famous or something get them hooked in the idea of older styles being a rather neat thing to wear and then boom you’re good.”
>”I understand basic fashion trends Darling, but what is retro?”
>Oh.
“Uh, it’s just older styles made fashionable again...more or less.”
>Rarity gives a small smile at that, “Oh well why didn’t you say so, I haven’t thought about something like that before Anon, hrm, I could maybe sell them at a fraction of the price, a sale like you mentioned.”
>Rarity makes a quick snapping motion, don’t ask you how, cartoon physics man it’s a trip.
>”I’ve got it! I can ask my friend Sapphire Shores to try a new look with some of the older dresses and I just might make up the cost.”
>Rarity trots over to you and gives you a brief nuzzle against your hip.
>Returning the soft nuzzle with a brief scratch behind the air making Rarity twitch her tail happily she coughs with a faint blush.
>>25897109
“Hey only trying to help.”
>”Well that being said I d-”
>The bell jingles again making Rarity jump in a start.
>”Oh dear, Darling if you could start to separate these by styles then I would be ever so grateful.”
“Sure boss.”
>Rarity smirks a bit at that before she hurries down the stairs at a quick pace.
>Looking toward the closet you let out a sigh and descend into the depths of fabric madness.
>Be the most fancy of ponies in town you find the breif feeling of warmth in your chest suddenly wither and stiffen into a cold pit at the sight before you.
>Maintaining the professional cheer you keep your smile.
“Ah well hello there Twilight whatever may I do for you today?”
>Twilight trots closer to you a smile on her face, “Well I was hoping to go over the plan for Anon and I to get back together I really think that with some graphs I co-”
“Darling.”
>Twilight brings herself to a stop as she stares at your hoof that covers her mouth.
“I truly think that it would be the best that you try to go without planning in this.”
>”But if I don’t plan this then I’ll just make a mess of things with Anon I mean I get that being an alien he’s not used to our culture but I don’t want to make another mistake like this one.”
>>25897130
>A mistake?
>Breaking the heart of a friend of yours was a mistake?
>With a civil demeanor that only sharpens at the edges like knives in the dark you polish your hoof.
“Darling, did you happen to know of a very interesting rumor that I had happen to hear?”
>”Rumor? What does a rumor have to do wi-”
“I heard from Rainbow Dash of all things if you could believe it, that you had went back in time to tell yourself that you should join with Time Turner for some crazy reason. That would be so funny wouldn’t it?”
>Panicked Twilight raises her wings in defense. “Well no I mean I did but I couldn’t get the message out fast enough an-”
“So based on a incomplete message from the future you decided to act on it like the LAST time you heard something like that then?”
>You shake your head at Twilight’s ignorance.
“Darling please, you should have learned your lesson from the last time you meddled with time magic, now you’ve lost what is probably the best thing you’ve had in life.”
>A heavy hoof stomp stops you, “Now you need to listen, if I had thought that going back in the past was important to do then I had a reason to do it! And I was right! If we hadn’t ditched Anon to go for Time Turner the-”
“Yet the moment you did you completed the loop and set yourself up for it.”
>Sneering at your ‘friend’ you turn away.
“Do you know that right now you make me ashamed to even call you my friend? Honestly to think that I would associate with somepony with such a closed heart.”
>Somewhere in a forest cave a tree branch cracks.
>”...Oh Buck you, you two bit drama queen! Why do you think I’ve been trying to make amends with Anon!”
>That same tree soon has another crack that joins the other.
“Only because you realized that he had nopony to rely on, or the fact that he was better than Time Turner hrm?”
>”Say’s the gay dressmaker who can’t even get a colt to take her to bed.”
>>25897143
>The branch slowly lowers from the unending pull of gravity drooping to the ground.
>Turning your snout in the air you let out a hmph.
“None of them simply measured up to my standards Darling.”
>”OH so you’re just a high maintenance mare that just wants a hubby to live in the kitchen with his cock ready for you after work huh?”
“Pfbtbtb I would never do that.”
>”White knight then, got it. You do realize that Anon’s never going to give you sex right?”
>The branch now looks to be held only by a few strips of bark and wood.
“How dare you!”
>Twilight simply raises an eyebrow at you, “I’m right aren’t I? The only reason you care this much about Anon is that you’re after his dick, hoping he’ll give you the time of day after you saved him from the big mean alicorn that could literally give him everything.”
“Everything except for self respect maybe!”
>”Oh no he’ll just join with the mare that has to run a shop from her home in order to make ends’ meet that’s all, at the same time as looking after her little sister, say have you ever noticed that Sweetie Belle looks an awful like yourself, I would wonder if she was yours if I didn’t know you were a kissless virgin that is.”
>The branch finally snaps and falls to the ground from the tree.
>Meanwhile you finally lose your patience and spark your horn up levitating the alicorn in your outrage.
“Out! Out with you, your Highness.”
>>25897156
>You put as much venom into the term of respect as you can before tossing the mare out on her rear with a muffled cry.
>Closing the door behind her you turn away rage swirling in your breast before you feel a tear drip on your chest.
>Sniffing you look down and see mascara running thick down your cheeks and onto your chest fluff.
>Oh dear.
>You hadn’t thought…
>You hadn’t thought that what she had said would have been so hurtful.
>”Rarity?”
>Sniffing again you quickly rub your eyes to dry them.
>Turning to the voice you see Anon poking his head out looking worried.
>”I heard yelling, are you okay?”
>”Sis?”
>”Hey Belle, um hey you wanna get some breakfast I think Rarity just needs a quick second yeah?”
>Your little sister sleepily nods and yawns again before Anon picks her up and keeps her from seeing your face.
>You smile gratefully to Anon before levitating over a small box of tissues to fix your face.
>”Lemme make you some Mickey Mouse pancakes, just like my momma used to make Sweetie.”
>>25897178
>”What’s a mickey mouse?”
>”It’s a...it’s a cartoon mouse thing, but it’s really cool okay.”
>That Anon, who would have thought he could be such a good father figure, most stallions usually know how to cook but they hate it as much as you do really, from what little you’ve seen of Big Mac and Mr. Cake more often than not.”
>Hm Twilight might have been onto something with that ludicrous idea of her’s.
>After all you wouldn’t want to just discard an idea that a FRIEND had given you right?
>Finishing the last ear of your pancake you smile at the simple logo.
>You’re still worried about what you over heard from Rarity and Twilight, if you remember right they never got that close to actually hating each other.
>”Anon these are great! It’s like three pankcakes in one!”
“Well, they are, just connected together is all.”
>Sweetie Bell levitates another bite of syrup coated pancake to bite into with delight.
>”How’d you make these taste so good anyway?”
“Lots of work, sugar and love kiddo.”
>Sweetie Bell scrunches her nose at your mention of love before looking back down at her meal, “This isn’t infected with cooties or anything is it?”
>>25897185
“Bwhaha, no you silly filly what in the world would make you think that?”
>Sweetie Bell pokes at her pancakes with her fork making a face at the cheerful grin you had drawn in syrup for her.
>”Well Twist had said that colts have cooties and they are always wanting to find love, which is why if you’re not careful they’ll turn you into changelings!”
>...
>”What? It’s totally true Twist said so!”
“Ahuh, if you say so, anyway the pancakes are c-”
>You suddenly stop and clamp a hand around your throat making wheezy noise.
>”Anon!? Anon what’s wrong!?”
>Swaying you veer left and right getting closer to the scared filly.
>Down on one knee you pant heavily eyes as bulged as you can make them before you whisper out one word.
“Cooties.”
>”AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”
>Sweetie Bell shoots up five feet into the air, but it won’t save her!
>Jumping up to your feet you reach up and catch the struggling filly as she squirms.
“OHOHOH! You have been caught by the cootie monster! Beware or else I’ll make you into a bug pone! OoOooO!~”
>”Anon lemme go! Rarity Halp! Anon’s gone love crazy!”
>Starting to swing the filly around you start to belt out lyrics from your past.
“Never gonna give you up! Never gonna run around, and desert you!~”
>”Oh Celestia Stage Three! Rarite~~~~~~y!”
>Be Fashionista Extraordinaire.
>Also be holding your chest with a hoof as your heart struggles with the scene before you.
>Too cute!
>Who knew that Anon actually had coltish instincts after all?
>You would know after all, you’re something of an expert if you wouldn’t mind tooting your own horn.
>A small voice in your head offers up that thrilling drama romance stories by Evening Gloom aren’t reliable resources.
>>25897194
>You ignore it as Anon lifts Sweetie Bell up an-
>Oh my.
>Raspberries!?
>You quickly enter the room coughing daintily into your hoof.
“Anon Darling I really think that Sweetie Bell is QUITE awake now wouldn’t you say?”
>”Rarity help! I ahaha I cahahan’t stop hehehehim!”
>”Aw come on Rare’s she’s so snuggly and cute! How can I resist?”
>Seeing Anon take a deep breath you act quickly.
>With a yoink your sister is free of Anon’s wigglers and floating in your magic.
>”Th-thanks Sis…”
“Don’t worry about it, now off you go. See if you can’t find your friends, it’s already ten in the morning!”
>Sweetie brightens up making you smile at her enthusiasm, “You got it Rarity.”
>Before she can trot off you yank on her tail gently, “Ah, ah, ah, what do you say to Anon missy?”
>”Oh, thanks Anon for the meal it was tasty, even if you infected it with cooties!”
>Whatever in the world do-
>The little scamp had used her own magic to slip out of your own as she giggles in her escape.
>”Tenacious little thing isn’t she?”
“Oh you have no idea, so what was this I hear about cooties?”
>Anon snorts before taking a seat and cutting a slice of an oddly shaped pancake.
>”Some silly rumor a friend had heard about colts making fillies into changelings.”
>>25897200
“My, my and how did that come about.”
>”Eh, it’s kids being kids, sides I think she was worried about eating my love or something like that.”
>For a moment you blink at what Anon had said before he covers his face, “Forget I said that, that sounded a lot worse aloud than in my head.”
>Oh this is perfect!
>Okay just like in The Lone Apple, just relax remember what Cotton Candy the dancing pony had done with Red Gala...
>Tittering you saunter over and brush his back with your tail.
“W-Well I for one wouldn’t mind having s-some of your love.~”
>Nailed it.
>Anon’s back arched up at the contact before you notice a slight blush on his face!
>Double Nailed it!
>Then Anon bellows a laugh before he scratches your ears careful of your mane.
>Oooh, how consideraaate~
>Ear scratches from him have never felt so good!
>”-ot me good on that Rares, I walked into it.”
“Walked into what Darling, sorry.”
>Anon gives a small grin, “Heh, it’s alright, I just said you got me good with that joke, I’ll admit that was kinda dumb on my part.”
>Your heart throbs as if pierced by an arrow.
>Y-you too Anon…
>Shaking yourself out of it you plaster on a smile.
“Of course Darling, but if you ever need anything, just ask.”
>”Well if you wouldn’t mind helping me polish off these pancakes? Sweetie left in a rush.”
“It would be my pleasure.”
>Anon might not take you seriously quite yet, but you are a patient mare, you can wait.I'll admit I slowed down with the postings, but I hope the green makes up for the dry spell guys, also uh did the fight scene seem organic? I was really struggling with it/
>>25897212
i need more
>>25897212
You did good. The fight seemed pretty on the ball there.
>Twilight being manipulative.
>Rarity having a silver tongue.
>And Sweetie being cute.
It was a good update.
>>25897212
I Dunno man, I think you need an editor or something. Some of that dialogue seemed really stilted, and I feel like that scene with twilight could have played out with more attention.
>>25897572
*tension
>>25897572
More like the ending bit. It started off strong enough.
>>25896217
Pls continue.
>>25897212
>oh no stage 3
My sides, well done.
>>25889877
>Think gatorbait's (I think it's gatorbait) Hope and Anon stories, where Lyra's the almost absentee (and eventually deadbeat) businesswoman mom and Anon's the stay at home dad.
It's not because I don't use Lyra that much, but I did something similar with Spitfire.
>>25897212
Wait...how lewd is blowing raspberries to ponies? Did Anon just accidentally molest SB?
>>25897212
The mean-spirited insults at the end from Twiggy seemed really out of character, not gonna lie.
Anon's life with Rarity is so good tho.
>>25897934
Eh I was thinking of it as Rarity being jelly that her sister was getting more mouth action than she was. It was still in good fun nothing lewd here!
>>25898032
Fair enough. It came off as "Better stop him before this goes farther than can be explained to police" to me
>>25897934
The lewdest.
Anon accidentally a pedobear now.
Except he's male so it's all okay.
>>25896036
We don't have many roo characters do we?
Last one I remember was way back before LaP moved to AiE.
>>25896036
>whatcha drinking durnk?
Christmas booze and too much caffeine because i have to help design a replacement for a radio chip.
>>25897923
Yeah, that's right. She's often mentioned but never seen. (Btw, that Protomares thing was as hilarious as it was adorable).
>>25898087
>roo characters
Not RGRE enough.
>>25891656
>You are purple book hoers and your alien eye candy is crying
>Hmm. What would Captain Crunch do on the ESS Enterprise...?
>Other than bang the alien colt
>You gasp suddenly as an idea hits you
>You fix his problem and THEN bang the alien colt!
"T-thank you Shafter-senpai~"
>Anon hiccups, pulling away from you. "Wh-what?"
>You grab his cheeks delicately
"ANON. I have a solution. We can use magic to-"
>"B-but magic... doesn't work on m-"
"Sssh. Mares are talking. We don't use normal magic, we useDEUS ES MAGICA."
>He frowns a bit, pouting in that adorable way colts can do
>"That... sounds... hackneyed and forced."
"Not at all! That's how I - well. You'll see. Now, I just need you to repeat this incantation: From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled. From all of... oh, wait. You don't have a cutiemark."
>As he repeats the incantation, you smush his cheeks together just a little
>Aww, kissyface senpai desu ne~
>"yuuh don' haaah a cuteh marh... ah dun geh ih."
"Hmm. Maybe it's... no, cause nothing happened. Maybe it's just a rhyme?"
>He frowns
>Oh dear
>"You... you try to console me by telling me I'm an idiot and then asking me to rhyme?! Th' fuck is this?!"
>He stands up, his sorrow replaced by rage
>Dangit!
>Your harem mangas have prepared you for this
>Just list out all the reasons why you're right and he's wrong - colts can't argue with logic, and they'll jus-"
>"I've got a rhyme for you! What's purple and dumb and always smells just like crap?!" As he speaks he unzips his pants
>"You, you stupid bitch - and my dick is your hat-"
>U-unf~
>Just as he frees the beast the DEUS kicks in, and he's warped away into the hallway of mirrors
>And because you're now a princess, you get to join in! Oh goody goody goody
>You repeat your own rhyme to the wall like a crazy person which takes you to the hall of mirrors like a totally not crazy person
>...totally
>You see Anon reliving his life
>>25898630
>Him learning to walk
>Him learning to headbutt his parents accidentally in the groin
>Him learning to escape from his secure underground room into the great outdoors
>Him learning to be as swift as a coursing river
>Him learning to be a man with the force of a great typhoon
>Him drinking the magic bleach under the counter after some creature named "bumblebee" died
>Apparently it was a car?
>But he was singing a song about tuna?
>Whatever, colts are weird and stupid and cute and wonderful and please touch me
>You clear your throat
"Anon! It worked!"
>"Wh...where am I?"
"You're in the uh.... well... in the ancient tongue, it's S'ho-odi wrr'atan, but we just call it the hall of dreeeaaammmss~"
>You wave your hoof over your head, creating a rainbow
>He just looks at you flatly
"I uh. I can give you some pony chromosomes - enough to be compatible, for the most part."
>He straightens up visibly. "Y-you... you can give me child- you can make it so I can have children."
"Yes."
>He steps forward towards you. "W-with... with a pony. Any pony."
>You nod, and he falls to his knees, a smile slowly creeping across his face
>"H-how, wh- what do I have to do?"
"Other than me?"
>You giggle, but look at him, but giggle, but look at him, but yanno. You're not saying, you're just saying, like. Maybe it's a joke, but maybe it's no-
>"Twilight, if you can do this - truly do this, consider us betrothed."
>YEEEEESSSSSS THANK YOU MAGIC
>UP YOURS SOCIAL SKILLS
>I SPECCED PROPERLY - FUCK YOU PINKIE
>All CHA and WIS my flank
"And now, for the alicornication. Then the alicornifornication afterwards~"
>You grunt as you summon power to yourself
>Totally like in those animoos from Cowrea
>Anon begins to float
>"Oh, hey - hah, uh... So, have you evvEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH-"
>He screams as wings rip out from his back
>Yaaay he's part pegasus now!
>He continues to scream as a single black horn grows just above his right eye
>Yaaay he's part unicorn!
>Yaay you're helping!
>>25898715
"TAKE THIS, COOLER~!"
>You run towards Anon with your front hooves behind you
>So you fall
>But you get up again and continue cause he didn't see that and if he did you planned it anyway and wow that's a lot of blood but it's ok!
"MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW~!"
>And with that, you punch Anon as hard as you can in the gut, straight through one of the mirrors
>A blank one
>Cause, yanno. You don't want to destroy one of his childhood memories
>You might be an autist but you're not a monster
>You think
>. . . man social cues are hard
>With the sound somewhat reminiscent of a deflating balloon at a clowns' funeral, reality awkwardly welcomes you back to existence
>But now with your sexually compatible spouse!
>eeee you're horsemarried!
>Or soon to be horsemarried
>Anon is crumpled before you, and you skip over to him
"Hi Anon! Are you ready to see my mare cave!?"
>He unfurls his wings awkwardly
>That either means yes
>Or 'I have no control over my new limbs'
>Let's go with yes
>Ooooh they're so soft and fluffy
>A lighter green, too
>Mmm, like emeralds
>You start to preen them, and they twitch
>hehe
THE END
>>25896480
>deader than Applejack's parents
>>25898761
writefag is based... and possibly drunk.
>>25896898
its a posibility, if proper inspiration hits me.
>>25898087
>roo characters
aye, LaP's little epic was the only real one I know of. There were little offshoots here and there though that I contributed too. Oneshots, silly dialouges, high impact sexual violence.
As for me, its peppermint schnapps. chirstmas cheer in a bottle
>>25898418
>roo characters not RGRE enough
you weren't there mate, these ones were.
>>25897109
>>Returning the soft nuzzle with a brief scratch behind the air
>behind the air
really gotta get on that proofreading bro
>>25898796
Kid is on just the right ammount of drugs.
>>25896701
>Also, it's not like the girls could take him to court over it.
While tech creep is becoming a real thing in these threads, I don't think security cameras are yet a thing. It'd be difficult to draw certainty to Anon being the cause, let alone prove beyond reasonable doubt.
>>25897212
Comfy whyyy?? why so much spaghetti? When will they fuck and he twists Raritu's teats?
>>25898761
>alifornication
mfw
>>25897143
>Darling please
Is this the Mannershoers version of nigga please?
>>25897212
was gud, want moar
>>25898761
Oh Jesus, I was not prepared for this.
boop
>>25900034
Alifornication. Dream of it.
>>25894004
I'd assume flutter shy would be more of the sensitive pretty boy type, and stallions who like cute fluffy animals like her. They probably just get scared off by the bears, manticores, and other vicious animals she cares for.
>>25900947
Psychic spies from Chineigh
Try to steal your mind's elation
Little mares from Sweeten
Dream of silver screen quotations
And if you want these kind of dreams
It's Alifornication.
>>25901333
>>25901444
Double trips... what does it mean?!
>>25901467
You're a nut, you're crazy in the coconut.
>>25901444
It's the edge of the world
And all of marely civilization
The sun may rise in the East
At least it settles in the final location
It's understood that Trotlywood
Sells Alifornication
Layabout Anon, after a messy breakup with Twilight, practically lives on Shining and Cadence's couch in the Empire.
They would have asked him to leave ages ago, but both are hesitant: can't upset a stallion, after all.
(Well, more like Cadence is in denial to help her cope).
That, and he's useful: changeling invasion? He'll haul his half-sober ass off the couch and throw the Queen off the balcony... before going back to sleep.
Sombra returns? Whiskey bottle KO.
Luna going crazy again? She gets the D, calms down, and they buy a new couch.
He's been there for so long ponies think he's herding with Lovenutt and Shiny Horse.
The status quot remains until Twilight makes the trek there, to try and win him back.
...So why are Cadence and Shining so disturbed at the prospect of his leaving? And then there's Luna, skulking in the shadows...
>>25901591
Anon threatening to shank Sombra with a broken bottle when
>>25901333
>stallions who like cute fluffy animals
Some don't? It's the ultimate colty shit.
If she wasn't so hot they'd probably dismiss her as too colty r smth, but she is just TOO HOTI'll add this in anyway
>>25901444 >>25901569
Pizdets, man
>>25901613
>"At last, I'm free! Now I shall have my reve-"
"Hey! Hey you!", a voice slurs from behind the couch
>"Who are you?"
"I'm the guy who you've been giving a pounding headache with your yelling you ugly, noisy, ashy ass fuckin....fuckin...HOERS!"
>he stumbles as he pulls himself up from behind the couch, whiskey bottle in hand
"You want yer crystal empire?"
>he raises the bottle and brings it down on the couch, shattering it
"I got your crystal empire right here. C'mon, Fabio!"
>Shining meanwhile is sitting in the doorway, rubbing his temples
>that couch is ruined
>he is not looking forward to shopping for a new one with Cadence
>>25896186
Amazing. Please keep writing, NOF.
(Haven't read to bottom of page yet; just want to stop right here and give you a pat on the back)"You want the house? Here's your FUCKING house!"
>>25901493That boy needs therapy
>>25901591
>>He'll haul his half-sober ass off the couch and throw the Queen off the balcony
>While Shining and you try to think of a way to repulse the intruder, your human friend stumbles past you, smelling like alcohol and stale urine.
"Anon? What in the world are yo-"
>"Awwfuh... Offa duh roof."
"What?"
>"Offah the roof!"
>Next thing you know, Anon has Queen Bughoers in a bearhug and is drunkenly dragging her up the stairs.
>He throw her off of the balcony, but you suppose that's close enough considering how drunk Anon is.
>>25902066Psychosomatic.
>>25902104Lie down on the couch.
>>25902172What does it mean?
>be Anon
>your gut feels awful, and your piss is bloody
>pony doctors just diagnose it as 'colt problems' and give you antidepressants to calm you down
>fuck everything
>>25903028
>Ponies seeing blood from a stallion no less
>Not going into hyper protective treatment mode
Nigga please
>>25903092
It's probably just his time of the month
>>25896217
>No sound
THANKS AN HIRO
>>25903028
>Blood in your urine
Uhh that's a serious ass symptom for many serious conditions that can straight up kill you.
>>25903789
Take a lap and walk it off, faggot.
>>25901591
Is there a green of this, or are you spitballing?
>>25903028
It's official. RGRE colts have periods too.
>>25904746
Fuck that noise and fuck your ear.
>>25904449
Spitballing a concept.
>>25904746
That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.
>>25901333
>>25901444
>>25902104Psycho Mantis
>>25904746
Go home gender swap fetish, you're drunk.
>>25905596I heard you like to play castlevania
>>25901333
Crococdile Dundee/Steve Irwin for Fluttershy's Husbando.
>>25903092
I would love to see that
> Derpy bumps onto anon and he falls down face first
> BLOOD!
> Derpy is crying and upset at what she did and everyone is giving her scornful looks
> Anon sees a crying mare and fawns over her by a hug and asking if she is the one alright and where shes hurt
cultural shock
>Dark Soulsanon shows up.
>Oh well, he says. Weirder things have happened.
>He integrates well.
>Monster attacks town.
>Ponies panic.
>Anon slays it without much effort. Even comments on how it was nothing compared to the monsters he's used to.
>Word gets around.
>Some of the more daring females (not just ponies) around Equestria feel the need to acquire this potential Battle Husband.
>Anon finally runs into a problem he can't just fight or throw souls at to make go away.
>>25906629
>Anon finally runs into a problem he can't just fight or throw souls at to make go away.
Man would that blow.
>>25906655
About as much as fighting smough and ornstein for the first time.
>Common social cue for a mare to bash a stallion over the head and abduct him while the poor bastard is seeing stars or taking a nap.
>Typically the stallion either settles down with his abductee or, if not satisfied with her as a partner, waits for another mare to abduct him.
>Mares try to defend their prospective/current partners from being stolen.
>Anon keeps being bashed over the head and stolen away by the stronger ponies like the alicorns, Applejack, and --shockingly enough-- Rarity.
>Weaker ponies who try and fail face a lot of ridicule and embarrassment.
>They're confused why Anon keeps vanishing after they take him, as no intruding mare is detected.
>They can't understand that he's just walking away home when they're busy.
>The Princesses in particular are confused, as this has especially never happened to them -- it's inconceivable.
>>25906809
im gonna kick a cunt in the clam if they hit me over the head
>>25906809
Anon ends up bodyguarding a stallion bro since these mares keep trying to knock him out.
>>25906877
Caramel.
>>25906809
this reminds me of comic an artist named humon made
fits the RGRE to a tee
>>25906888
Was it the one about the animals and their sexual roles?
>>25906809
I wanna see green of this, I just imagine darksoulsanon not even trying to be sneaky, and just walks out as his abductor enters his room.
>>25906885
>tfw frosty's story is getting all gay
>>25906930
Anon's coming to terms with the gay, and then that shit happens. Feels bad man.
>>25906930
That's how you get colt cuddlers.
>>25906901
no its the one with reverse gender roles with humans
and drows for some reason
>>25907008
Oh, don't remember that one, will now go find it.
>>25906888
>humon
BEGONE FOUL WITCH
>>25906809
In the event a stallion isn't interested in the bitch who nabbed him, the bitch in question has until he's taken by another bitch to 'woo' him, like dating.
>>25907035
i only report what i see
>>25906885
No, that will just turn into another colt cuddler.
>>25906888
Link?
>>25907030
When you find it, post the sauce. I need it for uh... research-related reasons.
Yes. Let's go with that.
>>25907521
Minotits or douches when?
>>25907527
Candy being a ho when?
Nogreen: The general.
>>25907677
It's coming along. Got a fairly big scene(Cadence asking Anon Out) almost done.
After that, i have another somewhat major scene planned before the update.
Oberall, I'd say I'm at like, 45% done the next update.
>>25907715
Not for long, friendo.
>>25907725
Mmmm. I love me that family drama and maybe hybrid poni.
>>25907783
We're not getting out of the teen years for a few updates yet.
>>25907809
OH BOY
I WONDER WHAT THE BABBY WILL BE
>>25907819
It will be asecret
>>25907819
>>25907941
>M Nyte Shamamanamaalanaman ending
>There is no babby
>There is no anon
>Cadence had a hysterical pregnancy and a psychotic break after she "lost" the babby>Doubt teat-twist Shmamamanaanaman ending
>It's all green written by about Yandere Cady writing a green story written by anon who is fanfiction ofNyx
>>25908008
>spoiler
>>25907521
>>25907030
Not a comic but a series of posts on /tg/ that I remembered. Had many a laugh from this one.
>>25907677
I just realized NOF is notonefuck. When are you getting back to "Going Bump in the Night".
>>25908773
N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶
̶S̶o̶o̶n̶
Sometime in the future.
>>25907039
>Mare is still in "predator/competition" mode
>Aggressively romances the colt
>"Do you like the restaurant?! Huh?! Do you?! I know how much you like apples, and this place has over a dozen apple-related desserts!"
>"Whoo! That's right, colt, enjoy those bucking flowers! The colour reminded me of your eyes when I bought them!"
Starting a new story tomorrow. Analplug Anon is not kill.
Short, but I gotta fuck off for a bit.
http://pastebin.com/DDf6pSP4
Start at line 180
>You are Anonymous. The only human in Equestria.
>You’re alone, afraid, heartbroken, and have only pocket change to your name.
>God. Damn. It. All.
>You lie still. Your lack of options really starting to sink in.
>Everything slowly starts to fade to black. Taking away even the sight of your closed eyelids
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtzO2DC1WVU
>A beautiful voice comes from… somewhere. But you can’t see where, or even pinpoint where it’s coming from.
>Just hearing it… You could listen for years.
>Then, it says something. Something to you.
>”Anonymous, wake up.”
“Fuck!”
>You shoot up into a sitting position from to bed, almost colliding with Luna’s face, who was leaning over you.
>Your chest heaving, you look around, finding yourself back in your darkened bedroom in the Castle.
>Deep breaths man, deep breaths. It was just a…
>”...Nightmare?”
>Turning to Luna, you find her looking at you in concern as her hoof snakes up to rub your thigh.
>Nightmare. Yeah. That’s all it was. Those days are over and behind you now.
>You sigh and cover the hoof with your hand, idly making circles in the soft pelt of Luna’s foreleg with your thumb.
“Yeah. Same one as usual.”
>”Well, to tartarus with that.”
>Turning your head the new voice, you accidentally end up mashing your lips into a rival pair coated in white.
>Said rivals part, letting a dexterous tongue out and into your mouth.
1/?
>>25909328
>It can never be said that Celestia isn’t a morning sort of pony. Uttering those words would be a total lie.
>Not exactly in the mood for lengthy face eating contest, you carefully catch the wriggly invader between two of you canine teeth, getting a muffled yelp from the owner of the tongue.
>Celestia’s purple orbs blink in confusion, as if not processing what just happened.
>You part your jaws and lean back, leaving Celestia sitting there with her tongue hanging out.
“Well, at least one of us is in fine fettle this morning.”
>”Sister!” Any reply Celestia had was drowned out by Luna’s shout. “That was a serious moment, and what do you do? It’s of course-”
>”Oh Lulu, don’t get your teats in a twist,” the Sun Princess says, waving a hoof dismissively. “It was just me saying ‘good morning’ to Anon.”
>Luna sputters.
>”But it looks like someone,” Celestia looks at you with large doe eyes and a quivering lip, “felt like being mean to me…”
“That face worked better the first few times.”
>The white alicorn huffs. “No fun allowed I see. Maybe you’d like a kiss from my other lips better?”
>”SISTER! REALLY?! YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT!”
>”~I just did!~”
“Girls, comon. Not so early,” you practically moan. “Luna, I don’t mind bawdy jokes. Celly? Later. I think the servants forgot about that broom closet in the back of the west wing.”
2/?
>>25909342
>”It’s a date then!” Celestia chirps, suddenly looking much happier as she bounds up from the bed and heads for the bathroom.
>Luna gives you a sour look. “Must you enable her bad behavior?”
>You shrug as you stand up from the bed yourself.
“I’m pretty sure she was trying to dispel the negative atmosphere,” you reply, defending the white mare. “Besides, you don’t complain when the moment catches us both.”
>The Moon Princess flushes a bright scarlet. “B-but those were moments of passion! Not horny romps in closets! You deserve better than that!”
>There’s her ‘old fashioned’ ways shining through. She reminds you strongly of some old timey knight with a bit of awkward thrown in.
>And you love it.
“It’s not hurting anyone, Luna. And I’m not too good for a round in a closet,” you say, now at the wardrobe, where you pick out a suit for the day.
>...Among the hundred in there. Yeah, you still got colt gifts of clothes and beauty products from Celestia and Luna. Doesn't mean you let them go to waste, though.
>Ah! Black, with white undershirt and a red tie. A classic.
>”...I still don’t like it…”
>Even with your back turned, you can still tell her cheeks are puffed out in annoyance.
“That’s fine, hun. I’m not going to force how I think onto you,” you tell her as you turn around, suit in hand.
>Just like that, Luna’s indignant stance deflates. “Err…”
3/?
>>25909357
“And don’t change how you think just because you believe I would like it.”
>You toss the clothes into the bed walk up to the blue alicorn, lifting her lowered head with a finger and pecking her on the lips.
“Alright?”
>She blinks before red explodes on her cheeks. Her wings swiftly flare open and shut around her face, hiding it from view.
>You just toss your head back and laugh, grabbing your clothes as you head to your ‘colt bathroom’.
>Since they knocked out the wall between two rooms to make this large one, the sisters insisted that you should have the larger bathroom all to yourself.
>Hey, you aren't going to complain. The bathroom is as big as your old apartment back on Earth.
>You enter the spacious room which is filled to the brim with cleaning and beauty products. Had you had been a woman or a stereotypical colt, this would have been heaven on earth.
>Elysium on Equestria?
>Bah, whatever.
>The shower you take is short, sweet, and to the point. Everything filthy gets cleaned, everything still clean gets a light run over.
>Your hair and skin get a bit more attention. Seeing as how you are essentially a symbol for the sisters, you make sure to keep an excellent outward appearance.
>It may feel a little bit emasculating, you but you’re willing to do it for them.
>Pony skin products are quite a bit more heavy duty than their counterparts back home, seeing as how they need to get through the pelt as well as the skin.
4/?
>>25909373
>A light dab of name brand cleanser is all you need for your entire chest and face. Ever since you started using it, every blemish you seem to have ever had has vanished without a trace.
>Your hair is simply combed into a neat style. No need for all the over complicated styles that ponies enjoy so much.
>Your teeth were white and clean long before you got sent here, so they just get a standard brushing.
>Done in less than fifteen minutes, you take a look at the mirror and give yourself a one last once over.
>Nice.
----------
>”So, sister, how are we going to deal with our unexpected guests?”
>Celestia’s cheery visage fades away, replaced with her signature ‘politician face’.
>Luna can still see the cracks in the near perfect mask, however.
>”We deal with them the same way we deal with every other problem,” Celestia says guardedly. “One step at a time and fairly.”
>The younger of the two lets out a snort as she pulls her brush free of her now tamed mane. “Is that what you really think? Because I think you're holding back what you truly want to say,” she says, inspecting herself in the large bathroom mirror.
5/6
>>25909393
>Not a single hair out of place, as usual.
>Celestia sighs, setting down her own brush as she places her crown upon her head. “What do you want me to say? That I am disappointed in them? That should have been apparent from the start. But all the disappointment and scolding in the world isn't going to fix this. Not with Anon involved.”
>”Obviously,” Luna says with a roll of her eyes. “I say we just kick the harlots out. They don't even deserve the time of day.”
>”If only it were that easy…” The elder sister replies with a shake of her head. “If I know my student at all, then she is going to be determined enough to try and use the law to her advantage. Did she make any mention of such last night?”
>”She tried, but by then I had more than enough of their senseless babbling.”
>Celestia nods. “I see. I will try to talk her out of this stunt, but there is no guarantee that she will back down.”
>”And if she doesn't?” Luna inquires with a raised eyebrow. “Abolishing whatever silly law she tries to bring up sounds like a perfectly valid option that could end it all right here.”
>The sun princess bites her lip, looking conflicted, but then shakes her head. “No. If we just go and dismantle laws and practices that we don't like, then we become little better than tyrants.”
>Luna just sighs. “But being a tyrant might be fun…”
>”Maybe, but nevermind that now. Let’s finish up. We’ve got a long day ahead of us…”
6/6
http://pastebin.com/DDf6pSP4 updated.
>>25909416
So a whole lot of nothing. More meat next time.
>>25896176
so NOF, any plans for pony reactions to house explosion? It would be fun to find out why they would take back a colt that burnt their house down
>>25909342
>>25909357
> I think the servants forgot about that broom closet in the back of the west wing.”
>”It’s a date then!” Celestia chirps, suddenly looking much happier as she bounds up from the bed and heads for the bathroom.
Yes, I like this Celestia very much.
>>25909373
>>She blinks before red explodes on her cheeks. Her wings swiftly flare open and shut around her face, hiding it from view.
hrrngg
>>25909416
>A herd still has rights to their stallion even after setting him aside and him going into another herd
Ethics aside I do wonder how practically a society could function where at any moment one's mate could be taken from them just because another group had them first it would lead to a situation where certain groups of mares would have had most of the 'rights' to stallions they got first and a very very large percentage of the population living with their mates at the whim of a few select groups desires. Also if being the previous stallion's herd gives them the potential to yank him away from another herd that theoretically uses up some of the value that stallion has to any future groups and would probably lead to a social stigma not just against un-herded stallions for being an unsafe investment, but a (likely more condemning one since mares would be considered the perpetrators and less innocent in this scenario) stigma against herds that take another stallion after setting aside their first as being greedy and selfish for hogging more than their fair share of rights to stallions. Add in that most creatures react violently when a mate is forcably taken from them and the fact that all of what I just said is compounded exponentially if stallions are few and number/high in demand (which the existence of herds implies) and you've got a very unstable system that would seemingly result in a lot of fighting between many groups mares anytime a herd at the top switches out a stallion. I mean A LOT of fighting to like more than out system of courting produces.
It being fucked up aside I don't see how a society could function on a system which basically encourages herds to fight and back stab each other every time a new one is formed or about to be formed. It seems chaotic as hell.
Your stories good m8 and I want to see more its just that I can't seem to wrap my head around how the focus point of contention could even work in any practical sense.
>>25909416
>Porchlight tries to use the law to get Anon back.
>Anon dropkicks his old herd away from Canterlot.
>>25894004
This gets posted every thread. I'm not even mad that you do it, I just want a less shitty image to go with it.
>>25910352
We don't know enough yet. The law or laws might have loopholes, conditions, eligibility requirements, be affected by other laws, require a court meeting + judge ruling etc. Hell, it might not even be common knowledge.
>>25910744
Y-yep. Because I totally thought that far ahead. Haha. H-ha...
>>25905832
THUMB IN DA POOPER
>>25910744
Perhaps a clause related to how quick anon jumped in with the new herd that grants implications of the male cheating (or being "lured away")? I mean, if we're talking about using a law to force him into a relationship, we're already deep in a "males are just herd property" scenario. Laws against stealing property aren't new or strange.
Look a this horse. It is purple!
How can you let such a horse bully it's way into your pants?
Have you no self-respect?
>>25908735
Many sensible keks were had.
>>25910352
>>25910799
I would say that twerglight assumes the law is on her side because she thinks she can get anon to love them again, and that he's still just being an overly emotional colt.
And since's he's overly emotional he's not in the right state of mind and thus cannot make a decision for himself (at least according to the laws), and since he cannot make a decision, the law leaves it up to the former herd to make the decision.
Maybe anon will have to spend a court mandatory amount of time with his old herd (say a week to a month) to give them a chance to woo him all over again and make sure he's in a correct state of mind
Of course anon, being anon, still wants nothing to do with them and makes this perfectly clear through the entire time, and is unmoved while showing luna and celestia just how loyal and faithful a human can be, driving the point further how badly twiggles fucked up
>>25910683
W-w-what did you say about my horsebando?? His name is Onotole, he does thermal physics and knows e-e-verything!!
>tfw you will never do Science with your horsebandoOk sis, I will find something more fitting.
>>25910352
>Also if being the previous stallion's herd gives them the potential to yank him away from another herd that theoretically uses up some of the value that stallion has to any future groups
What value? )))
Seriously though, until we know exactly what laws Twalot is going to invoke, this sounds quite like a high-value man swapping his old, used wife for the new, hot model. Especially as Twiggles is a princess, and so her herd is obviously a high-value one - I'd say that whatever social norm there to mitigate the kind of infighting you described, Twiggy can ignore it unless she steps on some really powerful hooves (which she is about to do... oh my!).
As for the high value of stallions... so, some stallions get sucked and chucked by the top movers and shakers. The bottom 90% herds just go from 2-3 mares per herd to 3-4 mares per herd. Seems like a quite easier psychological hurdle than going from monogamy to sharing your partner.
>>25911270
>I would say that twerglight assumes the law is on her side because she thinks she can get anon to love them again, and that he's still just being an overly emotional colt.
Yeah, we're assuming that Twilight is acting rationally, while she probably isn't.
>>25910799
Chin up, sis! Now everyanon will autistise themselves for you, and you can just pick the best answer!and if you like our autisting... perhaps we can.... horsemarriage? oh horseapples gotta go! *blush*
Some time ago I've asked if you would be good with a writing attempt made by a slav. Eng is not my first language so here's just a few lines so you may tell me if I should continue or not. At the first glance the premise may not look like RGRE, but believe me in the very core it is and I hope I could develop it in the proper way. Also, I can't draw for shit.
>You are a guard
>And the sight before your very own eyes is something truly bizzare
>At first you didn't belive in the gossip
>An unknown creature venturing into Everfree Forest, that wasn't anything new
>But dead manticore wasn't such a common occurance
>Even more when one of the scouting parties saw a trial of smoke coming from the ruins of the old castle
>And the old castle held a lot of secrets, therefor your squad was dispatched to investigate and take all neccesary steps to return status quo
>In the end, we couldn't have a wild beast roaming through the halls of an old castle, still full of forbidden knowlage
>What if the creature triggers it by an accident
>Speaking about the creature
>Finding it wasn't that much of a problem
>The problem was actually to get to it
>Even before you have entered the castle you heard a booming sounds of organ
>It wasn't any particualr melody you knew, to be quite honest it was nothing more than random notes played over and over again
>You stormed lower levels and found barriers all over the place
>Upon walls and floors were etached some unknown symbols that prevented you venturing forth and capturing whatever was inside
>Your magick was useless
>You made contact with the force at the castle, they've sent you some high ass mage
>Unfourtunetly he did no good
>The mage told you that the signs used to guard this place were some kind of an ancient runes
>This wasn't magick per se, it was more of an ancient teachnic for those who couldn't cast any real magick
>Booming notes started to sound even more incoherent than before
>>25912024
>The information was sent, and it turns out that the only ones that possibly knew the runes used to ward this
place were Princesses themselves
>They arrived and started to remove the signs
>In the end there was only one more barrier in your way
>Through the shimmering wall you could see a small bonfire, some trash laying around and an unknown beeing
pressing down the keys on the instrument
>It didn't give you any attention, fully focused on playing the notes
>When the Sun Princess removed the barrier the creature stopped, it picked up a bottle standing next to its
chair
>You have never seen anything like it before
>It looked like dressed, paritially shaved ape
>It empteid the bottle and threw it at parquetry
>After spiting it opend it's mouth and said in a rasping voice
"Leave me be."
>After that came a wave of coughs
>Without looking back it pressed it's hand down on the keys and sighted
>The whole squad rushed forward and formed a half circle
>"You will come with us creature."
"And why is that?"
>"These are the orders of the royal sisters, standing just before your very own eyes - show some respect!"
"Leave me alone, I just want to-"
>"Silence. You will come with us, and be judged for tresspasing the land."
"I just want to remember."
>You closed on the creature and leveled your spears at his chest
>And then all Tartarus went loose
And now tell me if it's worth trying. I don't want your eyes to bleed you know.
>>25912038
keep going
my interest has been peeked
>>25912024
>>The mage told you that the signs used to guard this place were some kind of an ancient runes
>>This wasn't magick per se, it was more of an ancient teachnic for those who couldn't cast any real magick
>>25912054
why not peaked? or picked?
>mfw
>>25912024 >>25912038
>mfw
but carry on, fucker. we can fix it for pastebinningwhat kind of a fuken slav are you, kurwa?
>>25911049
Don't be a bigot, we males can make our own decisions. And I've decided that pone is adorable.
>>25912071
>picked
Piqued, you autistic purple fartknocker.
>>25909328
>hoof snakes
I thought this was some sort of variant of "hoof spiders" at first.
>>25912243
Maybe he should pour over his Grammer books.
>>25912038
more ?
>>25912243 >>25912251
*whoosh*
I should of not joked.
>>25912385
Never joke about grammar in a writing based thread.
>>25912540
>>25912385
Grammar is SRS BZNS
>>25912540
>>25912545
You really sent my confidence down the shoot. For all intensive purposes, this is as good as bullying! You are giving the thread a bad wrap.
4chan is such a doggy-dog place...
>>25912561
You are hurting me with your life choices. Please stop.
>>25912024
>>25912038
You, however, are not! Very good start, especially since English is not your first language. One suggestion - and I noticed it with your first post - is that there's not enough punctuation. For instance, the line:
>What if the creature triggers it by an accident
Could use a ? at the end. Give your narrator some emotions, yanno? It didn't make your story unreadable, just harder to read. It also looks like you fixed that in the second post, so good on ya.
Please do continue, though - and that you're drawing is just icing on the cake.
>>25912071
>>25912054
It's "piqued", you mongoloids.
>>25913119
My interest has been pickled.
we picklequestria nao
>>25913213
>be Anon in Equestria
>notice there are no food banks to help the underprivileged that suddenly find themselves in dire straits
>open one
>since horseland smells like communism at every level you are constantly in surplus.
>you try to stem the tide of donations but ponies still bring more food than needed
>there is only one way
>you pickle the food so that it doesn't spoil and start returning the overflow
>as the ponies get a whiff of your pickling operation, they start bringing more
>everypony wants some alien pickles.>you pickle their interests full time now
>you rebrand your bank as "Anon's Cannery"
>you constantly reek of vinegar and ponies follow you around, sniffing
>such is your life
>teat-twisting bump
>>25913791
pinch her clit and twist her teats
>>25914063
I thought you typed 'punch her clit'.
>>25914079
I'd punch her clit. . . With MUH DICK.
>>25914098
oww! muh dick!
>>25914079
PUNCH THA BEEYOTCH IN THA TWAT
>>25913791 >>25914063 >>25914079 >>25914098 >>25914187 >>25914217
My bumps are smellier than ya'lls'
>still be Anon in preserved gender roles Equestria
>as you are closing a nice jar of Zucchinis, an angry Applejack appears
>she walks right into your kitchen and starts emitting angry horse noises
>"Anawn. I've done been sending you my apples for a while...
"And hel-lo to you too, Jackie. What's buzzin', cousin?"
>she almost stumbles as her angry expression falters
>"...and I've been waiting for too darn long to see what alien pickled apples taste like!"
"Come on, Jackie, I've told you already. You know that apples aren't meant to be pickled!"
"I use some Granny Smith apples that you brought to make saurerkraut, but that is all I can think of."
>...another jar stuffed with zucchini pieces and topped off with brine
"And you know that you don't need an excuse to visit!"
>that pone was watching the process rather tensely, but finally she relaxes and sits down near your Workstation
>"Oh come on Anawn, I know for sure you're pulling my leg."
>"Zucchinis ain't for pickling either and you're sure as vinegar pickling them!"
"Yeah, I remembered an old recipe my father tried once."
"Turned out half-decent, so maybe you pony folk will like it too!"
>>25914226
actually you can pickle apples with honey ginger salt vinegar and cinnamon
http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/food/articles/2008/09/17/honey_ginger_pickled_apples/
Thanks for your feedback guys, I'll do my best to make it better. Here's a small update . if everything runs smoothly i should write something tomorrow.
Cont. from >>25912038
>You are Princess Celestia
>The scene that unfolds before your eyes is something unexpected
>You have never seen such a creature, and never thought it would make such an opponent for your
guards
>The way it moves and fights against your ponies is a bizzare spectacle
>One is obvious, It's utterly drunk,yet it moves and acts like it have spend years in training
>It moves with an instinct of an ages old warrior, mechanical, precise
>It has problems with coordination, due to the alcohol, but it's skill is way above for what
were trained your guards
>This bipedal creature makes your thoughts itch a little
>There is something to it
>But what could it be?
>You look at it, it takes helmet of an unconscious guard and use it as a cestus
>It sends wild blows left and right, mumbling something
>Who would have thought that it would be sapient, and somehow civilised, after all its clothed
>A clothed creature appearing in Everfree, yes...
>Something very similar happened before, a very long time ago
>There was a comet with a blazing tail, crushing somewhere not so far from this castle
>How long ago it did happen?
>You heard a screm, and look up at the scene
>It holds one of the guards above his head and hurls him into the another one
>Panting heavily the creature supports itself with broken pillar for a moment and lunges
forward
>One of the spears cuts its cheek, it screams and rips it from the magickal grip of a unicorn
with an ease
>Then with newly acquired weapon it blocks another attacks
>It bleeds from multiple cuts, however none of them is deep enough to be of any significance to
the fight
>Most of your guards are backing and forming a circle around you and your sister
>Others lay there beaten hard
>But they are still alive
>The though hits you
>It never intened to kill any of them
>>25914831
>Almost falling down the beast stumbles to the trash laying around the bonfire
>And wave the spear in a wide arc
"Get lost you dumb horses."
>Guards are confused, not sure what to do, they already know that they stand no chance against
this savage
>Yes, a savage bipedal creature that has been seen around the crater
>Her guards, they were hunting it down
>The raports said it took them almost two months to find its den
>And inside were clothes, burned books and some unknown items
>Your sister steps forward
>"We will not stand idle while such a barbarian makes its lair of our old home!"
>The creature just shrugs and takes out a small flask and drinks its contents
>The empty glass falls and shaters
>While multiple veins appear o its body
>"Prepare thineself beast!"
>Luna marches forward, soon energy coils around her horn
>It took them two months to find it
>Your guards had to fight against it and it had to fall back into the woods
>They pursued and though one more time ona a cliff, from where it felt down into the river
>It has drowned, at least that was written in the raport
>The creature stands before princess of the Night and looks her stright in the eyes
>It doesn't even flinch, not many can whistand the wrathful gaze of Luna
>THe energy starts forming into an orb just at the tip of her horn
>Jolts of enery dance around her eyes
>"FALL On THINE KNEES BEAST, AND YOU WILL BE GRANTED MERCY!"
>When was it, how long ago it all happened
>Could it be that it was an ancestor to this very one standing here in this very chamber?
>It was a minor occurance, so you didn't pay too much attention to it at the time
>How long...
"You should have already know, that I don't care who you are and what you want."
"You should have already know, that I don't care who you are and what you want."
>Says the ape-like thing
>The remains of the carpets around your sister stands ablaze in white flames
>>25914831
Keep at it, slavbro.If your anon doesn't spend a good amount of time squatting, I will haz disappoint.
>>25914869
>It feels like the air around you is sucked into the everchanging ball of energy that is beeing
formed by your sister
"You could have just let me be, so I may try to remember them."
>"SILENCE WHELP!"
"All of the songs-
>"Sister wait!"
>You try to intervene, but it's already too late
>Why have you drifted away, why now
>Could it erally be so important to know what this creature is?
>Luna braces herself, and with a frantic motion of her neck realeses the orb of energy straight
into the creature
"-I don't remember any of them anymore."
>It connects and envelops whole room in a bright light, you barely magane to cover your own
eyes with a wing
>You hear as guards fall, partialy blind and partialy thanks to the shockwave that comes
miliseconds later
>Pieces of trash, ruble, dust and leaves swirl around and fall down
>Energy sparkles from corners of your sisters eyes
>With animalistic scream creature jumps out from the cloud of dust
>It should be lying there on the edge of death and yet
>It swings its fist at your sister
>She lowers herself, and then the creature rises its knee
>It strikes stright into the muzzle
>Blood gushes from your sisters nose
>She twists herself and bucks her oponents in its chest
>The assaliant flies back and crashed into the organs, deep static notes finds their way out of
the instrument and fill the castle, chamber by chamber
>It lies there smashed into the instrument with its head wiggling slightly
>With a sudden movement the creature takes a deep breath of air and coughs
>Rasping breath escapes from its mouth
>It raises itself out of the ruined device and lands flat on the floor
>Then reaches out with its right claw and pulls itself along the floor
>It shudders in place and coughs even more
>Then left hand reaches forward and pulls it towards your sister
>Luna slowly trots before it and stares down with disgust
>>25914888
>She cleans her muzzle with a wing and takes a good look at the blood smeared across her
feathers
>"It truly has been a long time since when we have lost some blood in a duel, beast."
>Luna
>Long time
>Banishing
>Royal matters
>Crisis
>The comet
>"Dear Faust-"
>You mumble to yourself
>"-it was almost eight hundred years ago."
>It reaches and gets a hold of her shoe
>"However, it ends here-"
>She raises her hoof
>With the sudden blink of light you stand by her side and hold her hoof before she is able to
strike down
>"Stop it dear sister, you are better than this."
>"This fiend made us bleed sister! We won't stand for this, he must pay!"
>Her eyes flash with anger and malice
>"That is not our way sister, not anymore, not in this age."
>Something changes in your sisters eyes, the flashes of energy seems much more controlled
>"We agree."
>She turns around
>"Take this beast and take it to the dungeons where it will wait to be judged."
>It looks up at you, its eyes can't focus at all
>"I wonder what ties you to that incident."
>You whisper
>Its head falls down
>It breaths hard lying there motionless, and then two alien words escapes its mouth before it's
consciousness drifts away
"Cyka blyat-"
And that's all for now. In the next part Sunbutt will get a chance to check Anons belongings while he will be deep in his post-alcoholic sleep.
>>25914762
I don't doubt recipes exist (humans are weird), pickled apples seem to be somewhat unorthodox though. Kinda like salted watermelon.
>>25914923
Are you a rusfriend or something? You better not invoke cykablyat if you are a Polack or smthkeep going
>>25915065
salted water melons are pretty tasty, and its the honey that pickles it making it sweet not salty.
>>25915065
I'm PL with a few friends from RU. Most of the curses are very similiar so I don't see a problem here for ex. PL: suka = RU: cyka.
>>25915088
>salted water melons are pretty tasty
Agreed.
>>25915130
oh my
>Just another day at the Rise and Grind.
>You are Anon, and you very narrowly avoided burning yourself with searing steam.
>You used your cat-like reflexes to scream and fall over when the machine started making noise.
>You got a free coffee and a hug from your manager for that.
>It's nearly the end of your shift, and you're dealing with some of your early-evening customers.
>"Hey stud, you have any plans tonight?"
>A olive-green unicorn mare is giving you her bedroom eyes.
>This is probably the first time a pony has made moves on you, so you're understandably flustered.
"My p-plans? No, none at all."
>She smiles coyly at your shy reaction and motions with her hoof for her friends to come over
>"Me and the mares here are heading off to Club Harmony tonight, and we'd love to have somepony as..."
>Her eyes travel up and down your body.
>The effect is ruined by your dirty work apron, but you figure it was the thought that counts.
>"Exotic as you are to join us."
>Jeez, when was the last time you let loose?
>It's been a long eight or nine months since you got here, and the townsfolk seemed friendly enough.
>You know what? Yeah!
>It's about time you let down your hair.
>You smile eagerly and nod.
"That sounds like a lot of fun. What time should we meet up?"
>"We'll pick you up at around 9. Think you'll be ready by then?"
>Pfft. Who do these mares think they're talking to?
>You are the master of the Russian shower.
>That is, you rush in and rush out.
>hahahaha kill yourself.
"I'll try, but I can't promise anything."
>That's right, boy, do dat flirting.
>Fuck that horse.
>The group of mares walk out and shoot you one final look of their shoulders.
>"See you around, handsome."
>About thirty seconds later, you realize that you never asked for their names.
>>25915195
Later
>That Stetson hat looks awfully familiar.
>...
>Is that Applejack?
>Fuck me, that's Applejack!
>Hi, Applejack!
>Huh.
>Is she...?
>Yup, she's crying into her drink.
>Aw jeez.
>Maybe you should go check up on her.
>You ARE her friend.
"I'll be back in just a sec, ladies. I need to check up on my bud real quick."
>You get a murmur or "okay"s and "sure"s and waste no time making your way to Applejack's table.
>You slide onto the weird, tiny pony chair and plonk your drink onto the table, which startles the orange mare out of her little daze.
>"Ah-Anawn? Whut-chu doin' here?"
>Christ almighty, you can smell her from here.
"I came over to check up on you. Are you doing okay?"
>You keep your words simple, clear, and loud so that the
>"You came all th' way o'er here jus' to check up on me?"
>She sounds weirdly amazed or awed about this.
>"Tha's jus' so great of you, Anawn. Yer jus' this great colt, you know?"
>Haha WOW she is drunk as fuck.
>You manage to get a bartender's attention and order a big glass of water.
>Being six-foot-nothing in a crowd of four-foot ponies has benefits sometimes.
"Applejack, is everything okay?"
>Applejack reaches over for her drink but just pushes it off of the table.
>"Shoot! Got-dangit. Buckin'..."
>You're getting some drunk nostalgia right now.
>Ah, all those hours spend alone in your room, drinking and watching Youtube videos...
>"It's muh herd. Zhat buckin' Lemon Biscuits mare, right?"
>You nod.
>"She comes 'long an' gets all touchy-feely wif mah herd-colt. Jus' doin'... buckin' whatever, right?"
>You water arrives and you convince Applejack to take a few gulps.
>"Next thing Ah know, they've jus' kicked me out! Just lahke that!"
"No!"
>They can DO that?!
>Ponies are such assholes!
>"An'....an'..."
>She tries to keep talking, but it all comes out in an incoherent babble.
>You scoot around to her side of the table and pull her into a hug, which she returns.
>>25915220
>As quickly as it came, Applejack bolts out of your arms and back to her seat.
>You can't tell if she's blushing because she's embarrassed, or because of the close contact.
>"Sorry 'bout that, Anawn. Ah'm actin' lahke a bit of a foal right now."
>She grabs her glass of water and downs the entire thing.
>"If'fin Granny Smith were here right now, she'd hoof me upside the head'n tell me off fer not bein' a mare."
>She seems to sober up slightly.
>At the very least, she's now more consciously aware of her surroudings.
"You want to get out of here? We'll grab some coffee and maybe something to eat."
>Applejack waves you off and starts to stand up.
>"That's mighty kind of you, Anawn, but yer friends o'er there might object."
>You glance back over to your dates, and they're sort of glaring at you, now.
>The olive-green one is waving you back over, and she doesn't look too happy that you just walked away.
>Her expression is less anger and more "did you SERIOUSLY just do that?".
>" 'Sides, Ah ain't no lil' foal, Anawn. Ah know how to hold my liquor."
>Applejack promptly stumbles into your table and knocks the empty glass of water onto the ground, where it shatters.
>Jesus, what was she even drinking?
>You grab her over-turned mug and take a whiff of it.
>Cider.
>Does she seriously not drink anything else?
>This has an alcohol content of maybe 4%.
>These ponies and their pony alcohol.
>Being the most sober creature in this club (FUCKING pony alcohol), you scoop Applejack up and, ignoring her protests, carry her like a bride out of the door.
>You pass by your dates (who are stifling their laughter at the sight of Applejack being carried out) and say, "Bro's before hoes."
>>"Bro's before what?"
>But you're already out the door.
>>25915236
>"Anawn, why you gotta be carryin' me lahke this?"
"Shhh, Applejack. Save your words for when you're going to throw up."
>"Put me down, you lil' scoundrel! Ah can make it back to the farm on my own!"
>Pfft, you aren't going to let this tiny drunk horse sober up alone.
>The last thing you want to introduce to this land is drowning in your own vomit.
>You don't even think you've ever seen a graveyard in this town.
"Sorry, Applejack, but we're going to my cottage. You're too drunk to be left on your own."
>Applejack quiets down after that, settling for glaring at you with one eye closed.
>"S'cuz you won' stop movin'."
>Wow, room-spin drunk already?
>You're going to have to keep this pone awake and hydrated for the next three or four hours.
>There goes your day off, you guess.
>The next few hours are uneventful.
>Applejack threw up into your rose bushes; she drank lots of water; and the two of you shot the shit until nearly sunrise.
>You were glad to see that Applejack was sobering up quite nicely.
>You can tell that she's still buzzed, but she didn't have to close one of her eyes to see you properly any more, and she wasn't stumbling when she walked to your kitchen to gorge herself on sandwiches.
>It's been around twenty minutes before you realize that you haven't seen your drunk friend since she excused herself to use the bathroom.
>Girl has a bladder the size of a pea, swear to god.
>Oh fuck, is she throwing up again?
>You thought you had passed that stage!
>You hurry off to your bathroom, only to see that the door is wide open and the lights are off.
>Where could sh-
>"Great Apple above, give me strength."
>That's coming from your bedroom.
>The fuck is she doing in your bedroom?
>You walk closer and the sounds of shuffling cloth reach your ears.
>If she's thrown up on your bed, then she's sleeping on the porch.
>Friend or not, you ain't putting up with that kind of crap.
>>25915105
>PL: suka
I've always thought that RU: Cyкa = PL: Kurwa
>>25915252
>You open the door and flick on your magical light.
"Applejack, wha-woah."
>What the actual fuck.
>Your dirty laundry hamper has been knocked over and your smelly clothes are everywhere.
>Applejack's on her back, rolling around in them like a cat playing with catnip.
>What the fuck is wrong with ponies?
"Having fun in there, friend?"
>Applejack freezes and she slowly turns her head to face you.
>Yeah, she knows what she's done.
>She's got this real sheepish look on her face, anJESUS FUCK
"What the fuck, Applejack?!"
>Quick as a flash, Applejack's tackled you to the ground.
>She has her snout buried in the nape of her neck and she's inhaling deeply, taking in your scent.
>L-lewd.
That's all for tonight. Hope y'all enjoy the new green.
>>25915105
Nie mogles tak od razu powiedziec, kurwa?
...
I actually have no idea if this is correct as I'm a rusdyke. I also had no idea suka is actually used in Polish.
So, since we all friends here, you got yourself some more rusfriends. Or, at least, people who intimately understand the pain of writing greens in a foreign language. Keep going, sis.
>>25915258
turns out kurwa => bljad. I know, it's wonderful!
>>25915195
>You used your cat-like reflexes to scream and fall over when the machine started making noise.
oh lol
>>25915236
>you scoop Applejack up and, ignoring her protests, carry her like a bride out of the door.
OH LOL
>>25915269
>>Applejack freezes and she slowly turns her head to face you.
>>Yeah, she knows what she's done.
LAWD HAVE MERCY
>>25915220
>>You keep your words simple, clear, and loud so that the
FINISH YOUR SENTENCES
>>25915402
YOU CAN'T MAKE
>>25915258
In a way yes.
kurwa mać = cyka blyat
However without 'mać' - 'kurwa' simply means 'suka' which isn't that severe as a curse. Suffix 'mać' comes from cursing at someones mother, as for 'job twoju mać' - as for, your mother is a whore. My friends told me that in Russia and Belarus they use 'blyat' and 'mać' interchangeably. At least that's what we figured out with my dorm slavfriends when we tried to find as most connections in our languages as we could.
>>25915269
yissss do more Anal! More!
>>25915409
YOU BIT-
>>25915426
>'job twoju mać'
Literally "fuck your mother!"
>friends told me that in Russia and Belarus they use 'blyat' and 'mać' interchangeably.
Mostly because both are expletives that need no context. 'mać' is being used as strictly as a shorthand for 'job twoju mać' or 'jobana mać' (literally fucked mother), which is a general-purpose expletive.
Also, isn't 'kurwa mać' short for 'kurwa (jego, tvoja) mać'?
>>25915409
WE HAVE WAYS TO MAKE YOU COMPLY
>>25915535
Yep, it's a short version. Thanks for the closure on 'mać'.
>>25911012
>we're already deep in a "males are just herd property" scenario
Not really in the story Anon co-signed a house payment with his herd and presumably payed his part with money that he was allowed to keep and earn from a job of some sort that he worked at. After he was 'let go' his herd threw him away and out at no point was their any transfer of ownership or implied responsibility on the his former herds part regarding him in fact they go so far as to say he should go on out and hook up with some mare (on his own violition) for shelter/food/whatnot. That isn't the type of thing you'd see if males were just property Anon acts as a free agent to some extent otherwise the de-herding process would have been handled differently that and he probably would have never co signed anything or have money period.
>>25911702
>What value?
Every stallions who was ever in a previous relationship period is at risk of being yanked from whatever their current herd despite current herds investment in wooing and courting them. Thus making those stallions inherently unstable investment thus further limiting the already small pool of good herding stallions available. This is a problem and a rather glaring one at that for any society that has a small number of the 'fairer sex' making that number smaller for any reason would strictly have negative effects that gradually increase instability.
1/
>As for the high value of stallions... so, some stallions get sucked and chucked by the top movers and shakers
See it wouldn't just effect the top choice herds and their stallions. To use an example here lets say that I dunno Time Turners original herd kicks him out for a colt who isn't a cunt 24/7 reasonable right? They 'break up' because he is legitimately being a asshole for no reason other than he can. Then say Time Turner goes off and sluts it up and steals some other colts herd. This sets up a chain reaction web of heart break and in fighting if at any point Time Turners original herd calls him back causing other herds to lost their stallion pressuring them to call back their original. If the whole setting aside colts thing is anywhere close to being common (and Anon's previous herds goodbye get out speech seemed to imply that) then this web would grow exponentially over time to the point that any herd that existent long enough would have many many interconnected herds dependent on them staying together less everything go to shit and the local community collapses as everyone plays swap husbands/daddies.
The only way the convoluted web and infighting would not form should a law like that exist if their was if pony herds rarely every broke up and herds upon forming almost always stayed together. If that was the case then what Twilight and crew did to Anon probably wasn't common or socially acceptable and they're just being straight up assholes who would face the social stigma of being assholes.
i apologize to the thread for my rambling Its not me my autism made me do it.
2/2
>>25915426
>My friends told me that in Russia and Belarus they use 'blyat' and 'mać' interchangeably
>>25915535
>'mać' is being used as strictly as a shorthand for 'job twoju mać' or 'jobana mać'
Do you guys currently talk about polish or russian? Because in russian "Mat'" is used in construction of some swearing phrases such as "Yob tvoyu mat'" or "Jobana mat'" (which are interchangeable with "Blyad"), but I don't remember it being a stand-alone swear word or a shorthand for anything.
>>You and Celestia watched as Luna, who was decked out loose fitting star footie Pj's, had her mane wrapped up in a pony tail, and had a pair of glasses hanging off her muzzle, walk into the dining room and froze as soon as she saw you.
HNNNNGG.
I miss you, LaP.
>>25898630
You
Your the one who is writing Cow Tipping yes?
Please for the love of tits update your paistbin!
Thank you
>>25915806
WHAT FROM
>>25912561
>my confidence
Your a namless anon. You attempted to make content. You goofed. This shit should slide off of you, your fuck ups are not permenant.
Yet for some reason your not taking it in stride. That, unfortunately, reeks of new.
