Last thread: >>25487631
IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX (embed)
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9 (embed)
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g (embed)
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY (embed)
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Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/
>>25600635
/r/ing for good rainbowdash x anon story
You had one fucking job.
>>25600635
SAHA when?
>>25600677
why do I find this so fucking funny?maybe because i'm the one that posted the other thread.
>>25600668
>>25599658
You best not stop anon.
>>25600606
i wrote this as a sort of oneshot.
>>25600722
Oh well. Back to my overdue green...
>>25600665
bump
>>25595218
>The opportunity to marathon S5
Are they gonna stream that shit?
>>25601110
No idea. I'm just bingewatching it.
>>25601110
>>25601155
I just checked with the guys at cytu dot be /r/ mlpanniversary
and it seems we won't.Damn the bloody spam filter
>>25601180
>Not being patient and waiting for yayponies dl
>>25601431
>Keeping traces of horses on your hardrive.
>>25601914
>Not having a folder on your desktop labelled "Pone Shit", right on top of your rainbow dash background.
>>25601939
>rainbow dash background
absolutely uncouth
>>25602002
I actually cycle through backgrounds whenever I feel like something new, a few weeks ago it was Derpy. You may be disgusted ho hear that I don't have any Rarity backgrounds, and I wouldn't be opposed to you fixing this.
>>25602029
Nnnot particularly able to help, my pone is both unsorted and not really snagged with backgrounds in mind, as I have a nonhorse background that I will keep using until it is no longer relevant.
>>25601405I'm guessing I have to fire up the Skype again?I fucking love giving presents nigger
>>25600692
Timeline got wiped out by Starlight's meddling.
>>25600692
What now?
Continuing from http://pastebin.com/WfAHrfmk
>You are Cookies n' Cream.
>Toughest guard at Ponyville Penitentiary.
>There was no prisoner you couldn't calm down, no roughhouse you couldn't break up.
>Inmates made sure to say their please's and thank you's when you were on duty.
>It is for these reasons that Warden Fusspot chose you to be the personal chaperone of the infamous Anonymous.
>The convict had chased off all his previous ones with his ill behavior.
>You were the only one to make any progress on rehabilitating him.
>Though, not that much progress.
>He had broken out.
>Again.
>You're currently on your way down to the timeout room to confront him.
>Ooh, he was in for /such/ a tongue-lashing.
>You finally reach the hallway where the timeout room is located.
>The dim hallway terminates in a dead-end where a steel door loomed large.
>Two guards stood on watch on either side of it.
>Despite their environment, they stood steadfast at their positions.
>Good boys.
>Only the toughest ponies were put on this detail.
>Not many could handle the depressing and drab atmosphere of the timeout room.
>Couldn't have them feeling sorry for the inmates and letting them out early.
>But even these guards would eventually be switched out with fresh hooves in 20 minutes.
>The average inmate was only sent there for 10 minutes, 30 at the longest.
>But Anonymous was regularly sent there for a whole hour, sometimes more!
>You give them a salute and they return it.
"I'm here to see the inmate."
>They uncertainly glance at each other.
>"Are you sure that's wise, mam?"
>"He was just arrested. He could be unstable."
"Thank you for the concern gentlemen, but I can handle myself. I've dealt with him before."
>They hesitate for a moment before opening the door with a hiss.
>"If you need help just use the secret knock, mam."
>You nod before heading into the dimly lit room.
>Once you pass the threshold, the door is quickly closed behind you.
>>25603270
>Your eyes take a few seconds to compensate for the lost of light.
>When they do the figure in the middle of the room becomes clear to you.
>Anonymous was intimidating just on his own but in the Warden's specially made restraint he became frightening.
>His arms were bound in a straitjacket and his legs were shackled with strongest iron known to ponykind.
>His whole body was restrained to a gurney with imported leather straps.
>Topping the ensemble was a muzzle.
>The whole thing was bordered on brutality but the Warden had convinced the Board to approve of it in Anonymous' case.
>Even the formidable human found it uncomfortable.
>Anypony else would have been reduced to a sniveling mess in minutes.
>Anonymous' eyes leer at you from above his muzzle.
>"Good evening, Cookies."
"Anonymous."
>You shrug off your saddlebags and leave them on the floor.
>"I heard you escaped prison again. That was naughty of you."
>You can't see it, but you can practically hear his grin.
>"Mmm yes, it was. What's the big, tough guardpony going to do about it?"
>You drop your brow into a glare that has sent a grown stallion crying for his mommy.
"I'm going to teach you a lesson."
>"Oh, really?"
>>25603288
>With a grunt Anonymous violently jerks his body, snapping the straps from the gurney.
>Then he tugs at his jacket's sleeves until they tear, freeing his arms.
>A kick snaps the chain of his shackles.
>Finally, he rips the muzzle off his face and flings it into a corner.
>Cracking his neck, he grins wildly at you with his arms outstretched.
>"Well then, come on officer. Teach me a lesson!"
>Immediately, you charge at the released criminal before launching yourself...
>...into his big, strong arms.
>You let out a giggle as he spins you around before cradling you in his arms.
>He leans into you and plants his lips on yours.
>Your eyes flutter closed as your cheeks start to burn.
>The two of you stay like that for several seconds before disconnecting.
>The manic grin on his face has been switched with a gentle smile.
>"Hey, Cookies."
"Hello, Anon."
>You snuggle deeper into the embrace of your stallion.
>>25603306
>You are snuggling the cutest pone in Equestria.
>So that obviously means you're Anon.
>You lied before.
>/This/ is your favorite part of coming back.
>After sharing a kiss, you move your head so that your cheek rubs against hers.
>The slight chill of the room is chased away with the bundle of warmth in your arms.
>Mane in your face, you inhale its fragrant scent before releasing it with a sigh.
>In a world full with manes of a wild variety of colors, hers always caught your attention.
>Cookies giggles as your breath tickles her ear.
>She looks up at you, eyes shining and cheeks a rosy red.
>HNNNG
>This mare!
>You thank the manufacturer of that bleach you drank for allowing you to meet her.
>She made staying in prison even better.
>Cookies was the last in a long line of chaperones the warden had tried to saddle you with.
>The others were scared off, sometimes not even on purpose.
>But Cookies was...different.
>She didn't take any of your shit, which was refreshing for you.
>And when she wasn't occupied with making sure you behaved, she was actually fun to have around.
>Not to mention she was a qt3.14.
>And the attraction wasn't one-sided, if those furtive glances during your daily workout meant anything.
>Apparently Ms. Top Guard had a thing for strong stallions.
>And you were the strongest muthafucker around.
>So you had eventually decided to ask her to be your marefriend.
>She had turned you down at first, but you could see she did so hesitantly.
>You were a career criminal and she was a guard.
>It would be scandalous!
>But you weren't taking no for an answer.
>To prove your dedication to her, you stayed on your best behavior.
>For two WHOLE weeks.
>All the while, you had put on displays of your strength to woo her.
>Seeing her bite her lip as you bench pressed a table full of ponies during lunch was pure gold.
>>25603323
>You finally broke her down when you promised her snuggles anytime she wanted.
>Her only conditions were that it be kept a secret and that you start behaving better.
>Which was fine with you.
>You barely had to do anything to piss off Ol' Fusspot anyway.
>So during the day, she carried on the role of your strict
>At night, she was your little cuddle bunny.
>You loved it.
>Her eyes, her mane, her rockin' bod.
>Her hoof booping your nose.
>You flinch back in surprise, broken out of your reverie.
>Cookies is giving you that look again.
>The serious one.
"What?"
>"What did I tell you about breaking out, Anonymous?"
>Ech, it's that tone of hers too.
>You think for a second.
"...don't do it?"
>"Yes. Now you have another two weeks on your sentence! At this rate, you'll never get out."
>You shrug.
"You know I don't mind that. It just means I get to spend more time with you~."
>You lean forward to steal another kiss but she halts you with a hoof.
>"I'm serious Anon. Pon-people weren't meant to be in prison as long as you have been. I'm worried for your mental health. You should be outside, making friends!"
"But I am." You whine.
>She gives you a flat stare.
>"Not like that."
"Besides, I had a good reason this time."
>"Really?" She asked sarcastically.
"Really. Did you bring my stuff?"
>She sighs.
>"Yeah. It's in my saddlebag."
>She points a hoof at said bags that she had left by the door.
"Excellent.
>You gently place her back on her hooves and walk over to the saddlebags.
>It doesn't take you long to find your prize.
>Your wrapped up pie.
>And it's still warm.
>Cookies leaned to the side behind you, trying to see it.
>"What is it anyway?"
"Oh, just some blueberry pie I picked up from Sugarcube Corner."
>>25603341
>Her eyes gleam as they grow larger.
>"Blueberry pie? That's my favorite!"
>Internally, you pat yourself on the back.
"You said you've haven't had some in a while so I got it for you!"
>"You broke out just so you could get me some pie?"
"Only for you, baby."
>That's your story and you're sticking to it.
>"Aww, that's so sweet."
>Moving over to the cot in the room, you pat your leg and Cookies happily hops into your lap.
>Cookies' grin drops as you rip off the foil.
>"...why is half of it gone?"
>You look off to the side.
"No clue."
>Picking up the fork, you scoop her a piece and bring it before her.
"Anyway, open up."
>Closing her eyes, she opens her mouth for you.
>Placing the morsel she starts to chew enthusiastically.
>She hums in satisfaction as the flavors cascade onto her tastebuds.
>You smile at her cuteness.
>You made your marefriend happy and dodged having to deal with your relationship issues.
>A successful mission, if you do say so yourself.
>Still chewing, Cookies looks at you with one eye open.
>"Don't think this means you're off the hook, Anon."
>Well, damn.
>>25603219
Something that haunts me to this day.
>>25603357
Adorable. More please
>>25602333
Yeah, if you want to harass bolding on Skype about it, that would be an ok way to do things.
>>25603357
glorious
>mfw from left to right, the last letters in their respective rows on the QWERTY keyboard spell "mlp"
>>25605846
>all of the letters in "illuminati" are fairly close together except for "A"
>A looks like a triangle
Confirmed
Green is almost done. Gonna warn you in advance, you'd better be ready for a feelercoaster.
>>25606255
Here you guys go.
>You be Anon.
>Just waking up in a very large and fancy bed
>It's really purple and soft
"This isn't my bed."
>It's also extremely soft
Did I mention how soft it is?
"This is NOT my bed."
"I must have gotten VERY drunk last night."
"To the point that I actually left mycold, cozy apartment, and the overbuffed desktop that I built myself, and my... oh."
>It all comes rushing back to you now.
>You're finally able to remember whose bed this is
>As she comes trotting up to you.
>"Good morning, sleepyhead."
>You manage to grumble out something that sounded something like, "I am going to vomitely violent out a raisin chicken."
>"Okay, my big sleepy klutz," She affectionately teases you.
"Mornin', Twiggles. You cooking breakfast yet?"
>"Already ate. I left some blueberry puncakes on the kitchen table for you. Spike should have warmed them up by now..."
>"Hey Twilight! Where's the microwave?"
>Twilight facehoofs, and you stare at hertailas she walks to the kitchen to show the stupid little dragon where the microwave is.
"Heh, Spike is so incompetent.".
>>25606671
>Later that day, You and Twilight are reading books in the castle library.
>Believe it or not, she's the one that got distracted from her book and started talking.
>"I'm so nervous about this whole situation with the Yaks. I don't understand why this all had to happen..."
"Don't worry, Twilight. It'll be fine, just like always. Celly will go to Yakyakistan and talk them out of a war, and if they still decide to attack, you can just get the elements of... oh wait that's right. Well, everything will be fine anyway."
>"You don't understand, Anon. Celestia said that she found out recently that the yaks have brought some sort of superweapon from a faraway land, and that they have stated clear intent on destroying all of Equestria! This could mean the end of-"
>You shush her, not wanting to hear any more doom talk.
"Hey. Twiggles. It will be fine. Nothing bad will happen.
>"Really Anon?"
"What?"
>"That was the most generic and obvious reassurance that I've ever heard."
"Well what else was I supposed to say?"
>"Good point."
"Oh well. I have to go get some more scones from Sugarcube Corner. I ran out, and I can't live without them."
>"Okay. See you later, Anon."
"See ya."
>You close the door and head on over to the bakery in the middle of town
>>25606698
>You be Twiggle horse
>Anon just went and buggered off to retrieve some of those disgusting "Scones" that he so loves.
>You honestly prefer cupcakes.
>Especially since Pinkie Pie made your favorite cupcakes in the world
>Red Velvet Cupcakes
>You literally felt like you would melt whenever you tasted the sweet frosting and savory cake itself
>It was an overwhelming experience when you found a special room full of Red Velvet cupcakes in the many basement rooms of your brand new castle.
>None of those cupcakes survived the day
>Those were good times
>When you told Anon that the Yaks were legitimately threatening war on Equestria, he looked unconvinced
>It felt like he wasn't taking you seriously
>You hated that
>Just like you hated it when he told you about his disdain for cupcakes
>If he weren't so close to you, you would have completely fried him by now
>Literally
>Just as you are about to get back to your book on Eastern Unicorns and their accomplishments, you hear a rumble
>Anon must be home already, making noises with the door again.
>"Anon, stop messing around with the door! Remember what happened last time?"
>Silence
>There's the rumbling again
>"That's it! I'm coming down there!"
>The rumbling only gets louder
>Once you get to the front door of the castle, you notice that Anon isn't there
>And he left the door open
>And that there's something in the sky.
>Before you can wonder what it is, the thing in the sky hurdles towards the center of the town
>And then explodes
>>25606724
>You barely have half a second before the explosion reaches you, and you put up a shield to try and survive.
>The fire and wind of the explosion continue for about a minute as you struggle to stay alive in your little bubble.
>When it ends, you lower the magic bubble and look up to see that Ponyville has been leveled.
"What... Why?"
>Your first reaction is absolute shock.
"Where is Anon? Where are my friends?"
>You go looking through the town for the ponies and person you hold most dear."
>First stop, Rarity's Shop
"Rarity? Are you here?"
>Nothing.
"Rarity?"
>Still nothing
>The shop is almost completely leveled, the only reason you found this place is because some of the objects from inside the building managed to stay in place.
>You didn't want to believe it, but Rarity may actually be dead
"No. She's a unicorn, so she could have put up her own protection bubble. She's fine"
>You move on to Rainbow Dash's mansion
"There's no way the blast could have reached her mansion floating in the sky... it's gone."
>You knew where your adrenaline junkie best friend's mansion was by heart... you had memorized exactly what was beneath it. It was always in the same exact place.
>And it wasn't there.
"She's fine. Rainbow probably flew away when the blast came..."
>You move on to Fluttershy's cottage
>It was also completely leveled.
"She's fine too, probably flew away just like Rainbow..."
>Sweet Apple Acres
>Gone
"They have a pretty sturdy cellar that they can hide in, right? I'm sure they're okay..."
>You go and check the Apple family's cellar
>Nothing there
>The thought starts to creep into your mind that It might be possible that all of your friends are dead
"No, they're alive and well somewhere..."
>You finally go to the last of your friends homes
>Sugarcube Corner
>Where Anon went to get some godawful scones before It happened.
>Like the rest of the town, completely gone.
>You search the rest of the town for you friends and monkey friend, but to no avail.
>>25606761
>You want to believe that they're still alive somewhere when Celestia herself lands next to you.
>She hugs you with one wing and says "I'm sorry."
>"I didn't know what was happening until it was too late."
>"I should have done something, but..."
>"I already know what happened to your friends and human."
"They're safe, right?" you ask quietly
>She gives you the look.
>THAT look.
>And shakes her head
>You feel broken inside.
>Not just for Anon
>Not just for your friends
>But for your town
>For EVERYPONY in Ponyville.
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders...
>The Cake family...
>Lyra and BonBon...
>Vinyl and Octavia...
>Cheerilee and all of her students...
>The two donkeys, Grumpy and Matilda...
>The Mayor...
>Derpy and The Doctor...
>They were all gone. Killed by a bomb blast.
"Who did this?" You ask plaintively.
>"We believe it was the Yaks, carrying through with their threats," Celestia answers.
>So the Yaks did it.
>The Yaks of Yakyakistan were the ones who killed an entire town in cold blood.
>Just because they were buttmadd about how Equestria wasn't like their home.
>You feel and unrelenting rage building inside of you.
>You keep a poker face, though, so as not to tip Celestia off about it.
"... I need some time to think. I'll be back."
>"Okay."
>You can't believe you actually got away with that.
>You fly off, with a destination in mind.
>The cold northern country of Yakyakistan, and their capital city.
>>25606826
>There's a reason that pegasi hate flying in this country
>The wind and cold high above the country of Yakyakistan are almost to much to bear
>But you keep going
>For Ponyville
>You were going to get revenge for what the Yaks had done to your town.
>Before you know it, You arrive at the largest city in the cold north.
>You land in front of what looks like the yak's castle, and walk in.
>The guards outside demand to know why you're here.
>You tell them who you are, and demand to speak to the prince.
>They protest, but a bit of threatening convinces them to take you to the prince.
>Once you face the Prince of Yakyakistan once again, he demands to know why you summoned him
"Are you the one who just launched a bomb at Ponyville?" You ask him with a cold, tense voice.
>"Yes. You ponies deserved it, for you did not adequately host us Yaks on a diplomatic mission. We gave up the many comforts of home just to feel like outsiders in a strange land. For this, we will destroy all of the ponies."
>The full message of his words hits you like an avalanche.
>Mostly that he said Ponyville deserved it.
>You feel an uncontrollable rage build up inside you.
>Your vision becomes blurry, and you feel like you are quite literally on fire.
>Your breathing becomes heavy, and you feel yourself begin to lose all sanity and logic.
"So We deserved it huh?" You ask in a mocking tone.
>You feel yourself start to grow in size.
"We deserved to have millions of innocent ponies slaughtered?"
>You transform, your mane becoming pure fire, and your fur white.
"We DESERVED to have our homes completely leveled?!?!"
>You also become Celestia's size, and begin to float upwards
"Ponyville DESERVED to be bombed?!?!?"
>You rise to the ceiling, and it melts around you.
"Because we failed to make our town feel like your home, Ponyville deserved to have almost all of its inhabitants killed?!?!"
>You have risen to an adequate place in the air.
>>25606852
"If that's the case, then you deserved to have your city DESTROYED!"
>You shoot a beam of energy at the city below.
"YOU DESERVE TO HAVE INNOCENT YAKS SLAUGHTERED!!!"
>You hit some more buildings below, uncaring of their purpose.
"YOU DESERVED TO HAVE YOUR LOVED ONES KILLED!!!"
>As the yaks are left reeling, you build up an enormous ball of pure energy and rage.
"YOU DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!"
>You send the ball of fury hurtling into the city below, obliterating the entire country of Yakyakistan.
>But you couldn't get away from your own doing, and as the explosion reaches you, you give in and accept your fate.
>But at least it was worth it.
>You'll get to see your friends, and your Anon again.
>It was definitely worth it.
>>25606900
Okay, friendos. That is the end. Pastebin link here: http://pastebin.com/7r6Hsqag
Hope you enjoyed.
>>25606900
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwrzYrpCHz0
>>25602333
Yeah, you just have to contact me on Skype. It'll be under a new skype, however. My old one got thrown into lost password limbo and I'll be damned if I'm going to contact skype support. My new skype is
niche-san
I'll just need some info and will contact you for all the stuff needed to send and receive your secret santa.
Also, for anyone who didn't see last thread, a few of us are doing a secret santa. The setup is in the pic in my post. You're more than welcome to jump in.
>>25606923
A bit dark with too little Anon but it was pretty decent.
10/10
Anyone got a copy of any of PaleNarrator's stuff?
>>25606900
>It wasn't the yaks at all.
>Celestia cornered Anon and told him that she had feelings for him and he turned her down.
>She would have accepted that if he hadn't called her an ugly old nag.
>Celestia then destroyed the town a little.
>And blamed the yaks.
I am looking for a oneshot where anon spanks Rarity. Not sure if it involved clop or not but I would like to re read it. A paddle may or may not be have been involved.
crosspostan fishpon
>Be Bolero Wisconsin, Fishpony
>Arrive at Ponyville, where you have been hired to maintain a hydromagical plant
>It's a long way inland but a mare's gotta do what a mare's gotta do
>Also it pays really well
>Anyway you're doing maintenance on the pipes and walls and shit
>But then something happens
>A thing falls into the water
>It's alive!
>Shove it in a bubble and shoo be do at it
>It's not just alive, it's talky
>You don't know what it is so you take it to the town vet
>She says it's a human
>Also asks you to let it out of the bubble
>Fucking fluttershy, always "Let it out of the bubble" this and "Bears don't like being kept underwater" that
>Bitch if they aren't in a bubble how can you make sure they don't suffocate?
>You knew a seapony who forgot to bubble their pet once
>It was not pretty
>NEVER AGAIN
>>25607558
thnx
>>25607558
I kind of want to do this, but international shipping.
>>25609435
You don't need to mail a fridge.
Something that can fit in an envelope or those small bubble wrap mailers things is ok.and if this is Australialand pls don't mail spiders.
>>25609478
Not even if I train the spiders to sing Christmas songs before they bite you?
>>25609478
Is this US only?
>>25609544
Christmas in Spiderquestria
>Anon is in his house
>Not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse.
>Because Fluttershy is training them all to carol at her cottage.
>Also because she trained them to stay away from his house after they started getting sick from all the poison he put down
>But that's besides the point.
>It's fucking christmas.
>Celestia and Luna are covered in tinsel and both have festive hats on their many-eyed heads
>Twilight is constructing a Spidertivity scene across the street from Anon
>Pinkie is baking all manner of treats to try to coax her human bestest pal in the whole world! out of his house to join in the festivities
>Mayor Mare, who is also a spider despite the horsy name, is at a barbecue in the town square cooking hay and whatever else it is that spiders eat.
>I'm not a fucking arachnologist, don't get on my fucking case about the minor details.
>And rainbow dash is hard at work setting up the mistletoe so that she can get Anon to stick his dick into her
>She's been trying extra-hard at it ever since her favorite vibrator broke
>It's a very festive day.
>>25609700
I hope Anon isn't arachnophobic.
>>25609700
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
Death is no escape, only more spider.
>>25609802
Saved.
>>25609802
>>25609848
I am saving this cause this is the best I have seen.
Hey /tg/ I had a thought
We've figured out how many spiders you can fit in a Drow's vagina but we haven't figured the same for a pony.
So i put the question forward to you.
How many spiders can we fit into a pony's vagina?
>>25609944
Normal pone about 5.
Rarity about 37.
Pinkie, 106
>>25609944
As sickening the question is how big are the spiders?
>>25609957
Fist sized.
>>25609967
Are we talking about how many would be able to fit inside comfortably, or until the womb ruptures?
>>25610003
To compound this question, are the spiders able to weave a web womb to fit additional spiders inside?
>>25610003
Yes.
>>25610025
Yes.
>>25607582
>decent
>10/10
Thanks... I guess?
>>25610239
Then the answer is all of the spiders. Pon won't really resemble a pon anymore, what with being webs and all, but you never said that they had to stay alive.
>>25610445
Correct. All of the spiders.
>>25610458
Weave me alone you fucking spider
>>25610482
SpiderTwi loves you Anon.
Everything about you.
Especially those tasty organs of yours.
Yes, she loves those the most.
>>25610495
>>25610458
Damn Twilight, you scary!
>>25610458
>Cute purple irises and pupils
>Clear, evil intent
I have arachnophobia and this does not bother me. Give her black, cold orbs and a single set of dark, long fangs and then I'll be shitting myself.
I'm perfectly fine with a spider's function of bug control, but Jesus H. Christ their faces are fucking demonic, and you can't read them either. You don't know if they're just contemplating the futility of life or wondering which one of your eyes should it gouge out to get to your brain.
>>25610566
SpiderTwi wants to share her friendship venom with you. Just a little nibble. You won't feel a thing. Ever.
>>25610566
They don't think like that, they don't want to "gouge out your eye to get to your brain", they only think whether they need to eat or not. Animals don't tend to consciously hunt for the sake of killing, only do so when they consider themselves to be in danger. You know, not really all that dangerous to humans, all things considered. You could propably argue they don't 'think' as we understand it at all.
>spiderposting.png
>>25610622
No one knows you're a spider on the internet.
>>25610641
Well they hang on in the web after all.
>>25609611
Nope, this is for anyone who wants to do it.
>Be Anon.
>Twilight turned herself into a giant fucking spider.
>It wouldn't be so bad accept that she has a taste for monkey meat.
>And not in the fun way.
>You are currently wrapped up in a cocoon of spider webbing as her venom slowly dissolves you.
>That shit hurts too.
>To assuage her guilt she made it so you can't die.
>She also make it so you can't go crazy.
>So for the past month you've been spider bait.
>The worst thing is that she doesn't even apologize anymore.
>That and everyone who visits makes it a point to ignoring you and your screams.
>You know they can hear you! You're hanging right in the middle of the livingroom/web!
>At least Celestia and Luna visit you on occasion.
>You're been promised a reward when you get out.
>You demanded to have the right to claim any pony anytime you want one.
>They're probably stalling the cure to protect their princess ponut perfection.
>Oh, look who's hungry again.
For fucks sake Twilight. You hypoglycemic or something? You already ate me twice today.
>"MEAT!"
![[shitposting intensifies].webm](https://i.imgur.com/iSZFgX7.jpg "[shitposting intensifies].webm")
>>25610663
>that gif
>>25600635
I know you get these types of questions every thread, but in the hopes that my post is seen and they magically start writing again...
EquestrianBreakers' Ageless story.
What the fuck happened to it? The six parts I've read are absolutely amazing, and I love how manipulative and intelligent, yet also innocent Anon is throughout. And the conversations between Anon and the Princesses are incredible.
Moar Ageless when?!
>>25611531
That lightswitch.
>>25611441
Breaker died.
>>25611531
Good filename.
>>25611569
This. It's perfect.
>>25611531
Ahh, no! Not the fridgeligns!
>>25611581
Wait, for real died or just left the fandom?
>>25607558
On the one hand: the opportunity to give a stranger on the internet a heartfelt note and a dragon dildo
On the other: having to explain to your grandmother why someone from another country sent you a dragon dildo for Christmas—and no, Nanna, you can't have it, it's mine go get your own you goddamn greedy hag
This might be the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
>>25607558
>tfw I wanted to do the other secret Santa thing but was broke.
>tfw I'm still broke
>>25610289
Check his name to get the joke writefriend
>>25607558
I'm in. I'll send my new friend homemade cookies with a secret ingredient.
>>25611936
Oh... Hilarious.
>>25611881
>>25611919
Hey, I do want to stress that if you have like no monies, Green, drawings, and other hand made niceties are always welcome. I mean...come on, we all want a nice gift or dildo, but some people don't have that luxury.
Also, implying you can buy a dragon dildo for under $30. Those things are expensive as fuck
>>25612496
Spiders and fosters it is then.
>>25612496
Expensive but worth it.
>>25612496
Why would I get a dragon dildo when horsecocks are superior?
>>25612496
Owning a 3D printer's nice like that.
Just need to get some Ninjaflex.
>>25612541
I'm fairly certain that these days dragon dildo is the catchall term for any sort of non-vanilla dildo. And yes, a good horsecock is a wonderful thing
>>25612496
Better make sure to open my gift when the wife and kids are not around then.
>>25600635
Tripfags in hoersylandia
>>25612691
>implying that the wife doesn't secretly lust for horsecock
So a while back I saw an idea mentioned in one of these threads or maybe one of the others where Anon landed in Equestria's past and went all druid in the pre-historic Everfree. He died of old age and the forest reincarnated him as a Treebeard like figure. So I decided while slacking off at work I'd have a bash at writing a story.
Here's chapter one.
http://pastebin.com/DuyXRgJr
>>25611919I'll buy you a present, Anon, if you write something for me.
>>25600635
What's a good anonxrainbowdash story?
>>25613272
Oh, cool.
>>25613272
I liked it!
>>25613272
That was pretty entertaining, though that beginning was an admittedly weak one which does not hold up with the rest of the story. It doesn't match up with the tone for the rest of the chapter; really clunky there. And I do wish you had stretched out this chapter some, maybe even broke it into two parts so I could read his development as the tree spirit of the forest. Other than that, I am interested in reading more.
>>25609478
>>25609802
>>25609944
>We've figured out how many spiders you can fit in a Drow's vagina
I missed this. Exactly how many was it?
>>25614951
>>25615135
Boooo
>>25615135
God damn it.I'm laughing way too hard at this.
>>25613761
I would recommend Broken Wings:
http://pastebin.com/u/MisterElGuapo
"Twenty fucking pounds?!"
>El Dante, one of the many chefs in the kitchens at Canterlot castle, gives you a sour look
>The kind of sour look that one can only give if they've gotten up far too early and were dealing with irritating people
>To be fair this little horse here started work at like two in the morning
>And you weren't going to lie and say that you weren't irritating from time to time
>Hell, if you hadn't gotten up a five and if you didn't know how much the little fucker made you might have sympathised with him
>But you did so tough cookies
>If this little nigga didn't want to wake up early and deal with people then he could have gotten a later shift
>"...Yes, Anon," Dante yawned. "Twenty pounds of blackberries."
>They weren't just any kind of blackberries either
>These were those big, juicy ones
>The kind that were always sweet and never sour
>Five big cartons of the delicious-looking fruit/nut/ whatever the fuck a blackberry was had greeted you when you had walked into the kitchens for some cereal this morning
>Which should have fucking been impossible since every single little kitchen horse in the place had insisted that the kitchen didn't stock them
>And since Chowder, the head chef, didn't like you very much because of... reasons you usually had to go to the market yourself to get your blackberry fix
>Which SUCKED since you always had to beat the crowds and a fucking carton of blackberries wasn't cheap in Canterlot
>But now not only did you not have to go to the market today you also could STUFF yourself with blackberries and there'd be plenty left
>And boy were you going to eat these little fuckers
>Even if you weren't supposed to
>...Especially if you weren't supposed to
"When the hell did you start getting this?!"
>Walking over to the table you grab one of the cartons and popped a berry into your mouth
>Hmmm
>>25615259
ABORT LUNCH.EXE, LaP'S HERE
>>25615259
>Sweet just like you thought they would be
"I thought that you guys didn't stock these things."
>Sighing and adjusting his adorable little chef's hat, Dante trotted over to you
>"We got orders from up top that we needed to stock 'em permanently."
>You tried to shovel a handful of blackberries into your mouth but Dante slapped your hand away with his magic
"OW! FUCKER!"
>Snatching the carton out of your hands he placed it back on the counter
>"Go and wash your hands before you get your dirty paws all over these."
"Hey!, there's nothing wrong with my fucking hands! And I'm just going to eat the whole thing anyway, so why don't you--"
>Kitchen pony just raises an eyebrow and points at the sink
>You glare at him, still shaking the pain out of your hand, before walking over and turning on the hot water
>"Make sure to use the soap to your left," Dante called as he trotted away from you. "I'll get you your cereal while you're doing that."
"Alright mom," you say with a roll of your eyes, reaching over and grabbing the soap
>Fucking chefs and their hygienics...
>There was nothing wrong with your hands
>In fact you bet that they were the cleanest part of your fucking body!
>As you wash your hands, grumbling all the while, you couldn't help but think on what Dante had said
>These blackberries had been ordered 'from the top'
>That meant one of the princesses had explicitly ordered all of these for some reason
>You knew that Luna wasn't especially fond of these, which meant that either Princess Celestia had ordered these or they had been ordered for someone that was coming to the castle
>If it was the second reason you were pretty sure you wouldn't be allowed to eat one of these you were sure
>Which meant that Celestia had gotten them
>Was she just hankering for some blackberries?
>Or was something else a little more sinister happening?
>Still washing your hands you looked over to the berries with a frown
>Could...
>Could she have poisoned them?
>page 1 to page 2 in <2 minutes
Is there some kind of happening going on right now?
>>25615292
>She might have known that you loved these things
>In fact you were SURE that she knew you loved the things
>The hateful little horse probably had ninja ponies stalking your every movement...
>...
>...
>...
>No one would probably say anything if you ate these and suddenly got sick...
"...Hey Dante, you wouldn't happened to know why one of the princesses wanted these do ya?"
>"Nope. She just came in the middle of the night and ordered us to get a ton of 'em. From what I heard from the other guys the Princess was acting REALLY weird too. Twitching and lookin' in all directions and shit."
>Oh god
>This was it
>The Princess of the Sun had finally decided to whack you!
>As calmly as you could you walked over to an empty pair of the counter
>Looking forward you grabbed a stool and sat down
>Hey, if you were gonna die today you may as well die with a full belly
>"Hey! Give this to the monkey before you take that to Blueblood."
>"Yes, sir! Right away sir!"
>You perk up as a smallish white earth pony mare with a light pink mane trotted over to you with a glass of OJ, a bowl of sugary cereal, and a small carton of blackberries
>When she noticed you looking over at her she stiffened, her eyebrows furrowing
"Good mor--"
>You couldn't help but jump as she dropped your food in front of you and turned away with a 'humph'
"--ning..."
>The mare just looked over her shoulder at you before making another disgusted noise, pointing her muzzle into the air and flicking her tail at your face
>...Bitch
>Making a face at the rude little servant horse, you grabbed a spoon and started shoveling cereal into your mouth
"Dante, get over here for a second!" you yell through a mouthful of food
>"Whadda want?"
"Just get your furry little ass over here!"
>From across the room you could hear Dante mutter complaints as he trotted over to you with a frown
>"What?"
>>25615335
>Taking a drink of your juice (hmmmm, juice) you smack your lips together and nudge your head over toward the little servant, who appeared to be trying to balance ten plates on her back
"First off, fuck you for calling me a monkey you dirty little pack animal--"
>"Shit flinger."
>"Flea bitten cunt."
>"Flat face."
>...What's with ponies call your face flat?
>Just because you didn't have a muzzle jutting out of your face didn't mean you had a flat face!
>Andnotyouwereselfconscienceaboutit!!!
" Hey; you mother loves me and her flat face. It lets her see my face better when she's sucking my dick."
>Dante give you the pony equivalent of the finger--aka scrunching his snozzle at you-- while you grin and lean back
"Now, who's the new blood over there?"
>Dante's eyebrow raises as you nudge your head toward the mare
>"Oh her? Yeah, apparently she just got hired this morning. Name's Sunny Skies or something like that..."
>Sunny Skies?
>That's a pretty name...
"You have any idea why she gave me attitude coming over here? You piss in her wheaties or something?"
>Dante shrugged as you shoved another spoonful of cereal into your mouth
>"She's been peachy keen for everypony else in here."
>He smirked
>"Maybe she's just wondering why we're letting your giant flank sit at the counter?"
>You look back over at this "Sunny Skies"
>Though you could tell that she was trying to be discreet about it you could see her staring at you out from the corner of her eye every few seconds
>Being the not-so-jolly green giant in a land of marshmallow midgets you weren't a stranger to stares
>But the looks she was giving you weren't the usual "hey look kids it's an animal" brand of stares that you usually got
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that she was looking at you suspiciously
>Like she suspected that you were going to run over there and deck her or something
>...Eh
>Not today little horse
>Not today
>...Welp
>>25615380
>Sunny Skies
Why does that seem familiar?
>>25615380
>It looked like there was another little horse in the castle that didn't like you all too much
>With a little shrug you turn back to your breakfast
"Hey, thanks for the grub, Dante."
>Grumbling again chef pone pats you on the back back before turning away from you
>"Hey, if I didn't feed you Princess Luna would drag me into that bedroom of hers and make me into a mare or something..."
>Though it's pretty warm in the kitchen both you and Dante couldn't help but shiver at the thought
>Luna would probably do it too
>The fucked up little horse...
>Your stomach rumbled, and you couldn't help but remember that you could have, maybe, just been poisoned
>Night hoers might be able to do something about that...
>She had that boner on her forehead that did all of that magic shit
>Quickly finishing up your breakfast you bid Dante farewell and made your way to the nightmare cave
>Once again ignoring and stepping over the "vampire ponies" you throw open the door--
>"O-Oooh like that!"
>"Yeah! Yeah! You like that don't you you dirty slut!"
>...And you opened the door without knocking first...
>Why the fuck did you do that?
>...And why did those voices sound like two dudes?
>Though common sense tells you to just close the door and come later the fact that you may or may not be poisoned forces you to step into the room and close the door behind you
>You can hear the guards protesting but fuck that
>You had a whole nother beast to deal with at the moment
>Ugh...
>You always pick just the best times to get poisoned don't you?
>With each step you take into the room the sounds of pelvis hitting rump and moans and grunts becomes louder and clearer and more prevalent
>Moans and grunts that seemed to only be coming from stallions you couldn't help but notice
"...Luna? You in here?"
>If you thought that you talking would ruin whatever fucking mood was going on you were sorely mistaken since the grunting and moaning only seemed to get louder
>"Anon? Come in, come in!"
>>25615438
>...Alright
>Luna's talking
>Which means she's not getting pounded in all holes like that one time...
>In fact she doesn't sound like she's getting any at ALL...
>Though you hesitate for a moment, morbid curiosity forces you to step into Luna's bedroom
>Night hoers is lazily laying in her bed with a glass of red wine sitting beside her and fine cheeses on a silver plate sitting to her left
>Right in front of her were two sweaty, glassy-eyed stallions
>One had his ass in the air and his face in the carpet as the other slammed into him with reckless abandonment
>"H-Harder! HARDER!"
>"Yeah, you like that? Getting mounted like a mare? I bet you do you--"
>...Jesus Christ
>You just stand there and pinch the bridge of your nose as what is pretty much a sex scene happens in front of you
>Taking a few deep breaths you try to collect yourself
>You fucking fail harder than you've ever failed in your life because NOW you can smell the stank in the room
>The horrible, cummy, musky, horsey stank
>Then you walk over toward Luna
>Night hoers turned her attention away from... whatever the fuck was going on and over to you
>"Good morning, Anon," she chirped, taking a dainty sip of her wine
>You don't say anything, you just sit down at the edge of her bed
>Smiling, Luna crawled over and placed her head in your lap
>"Pull my tail harder!"
>"Celestia dammit are you TIGHT! I could pound this hole all day!"
>You once again look over to the two stallions as you being to run your fingers through Luna's mane
>The Princess of the Night lets out a pleased hum as you rethink your life and your decision in friends over the sounds of bro-on-bro actions
>You know
>What's fucking with you isn't that fact that Luna's spent god knows how long watching these stallions go at it
>While she drinking wine and eating cheese like this is some sort of high class get together
>It's the fact that you're not even all that bothered by this anymore
>>25615491
>And that's not fucking okay
>That's not fucking okay one little bit
"...Why?"
>"I was bored and decided to enjoy a little entertainment before I went to sleep," Luna said without missing a beat, her ears twitching as a particularly loud and wet slap fills the air
"And your definition of entertainment is watching two guys plow each other?"
>Luna lets out another hum, nuzzling a little more into your lap
>"Barricade and Morning Star were happy to oblige when I asked. In fact they nearly broke down my door to get in here."
>One of her eyes snapped open and she looked up at you with a smirk
>"To tell you the truth I was just about to join in when you came barging. This show's getting me a little hot and bothered..."
>You look over at the two stallions-- two stallions that were in the fucking guard and who you fucking knew personally by the fucking way
"...But I thought that Barricade and Morning Star were gay-gay."
>Barricade, the poundee, let out another lewd moan as his erect member twitched, firing a small spurt of cum onto the floor
>And you don't even fucking flinch
>...Goddammit
>"Well, I don't know if you know this but I've been developing this spell that might make me grow a coc--"
>Reaching down you clamp her mouth shut
"Don't... just don't. Please."
>Luna giggled, sticking her tongue out to try to lick your hand
>Quickly pulling away so you don't get a handful of pony spit you frown while Luna closed her eyes
>"So other enjoying my company what brings you to my room?"
>Oh right
>The whole 'you were poisoned' thing
>You nearly forgot
"Well... I don't know how to put this, Luna but... I think your sister might have poisoned me with blackberries."
>The only sounds that could be heard were of two stallions making sweet, sweet love as Luna milled over what you said
>Until, to your surprise, she giggled in delight
>"So she got the blackberries did she?" she said, sounding very, very smug. "I KNEW it!"
>What?
"What?"
>>25615549
>Yawning, Luna rolled onto her back--making sure not to stab you with her horn-- and stared up at you with a smile
>"Never you mind that, my little human. You just confirmed a suspicion I had about my big sister."
>Oh no
>You didn't like that...
"Why do I feel like this suspicion concerns me?"
>"Because it does."
"...Oh."
>Scratching Luna's chest you just sit there and listen to Morning Star's dirty talk
"...You're not going to tell me huh?"
>"Nope."
>...Okay then...
"Mind explaining why aren't you gonna tell me?"
>Luna just smiles as Morning Star begins to pick up the pace, his thrusting becoming clumsy and desperate
>Cracking open an eye Barricade looks over to you
>To your horror the little horse catches your eye, and for some reason you can't help but look into his eyes
>But most importantly you can't bring yourself to look away
>Oh no...
>Nope
>Nope
>Don't you fucking do it
>Don't--
>With a final grunt Morning Star buried himself to the hilt and tensed
>Barricade let out a loud moan
>His knees nearly gave out, his cock twitched hard and you got a front row seat as he started cumming
>And cumming
>...And cumming...
>"Did his eyes cross, Anon? I blinked."
>...Fucking Lun--
>Before you could finish your thought something particular caught your eye
>Turning away as Barricade made of mess of the carpet you turned toward the balcony window
>Though Luna usually had it covered it was bare today, which allowed you to see the gardens just outside of Luna's room
>Like always, the gardens looked fine, great even
>Except for the fact that someone was hiding in one of the rose bushes with a pair of binoculars
>A pair of binoculars that were trained on you
>...Wat
"Wat?"
>>25615578
>Why the hay did you have the royal gardeners plant so many rose bushes?
>You get it, they looked immaculate and you were impressed that your little ponies managed to cut the bushes in your likeness
>...In fact you should probably should see to it that your gardeners get a raise since they worked so HARD...
>But rose bushes did not make a very good hiding spot!
>They did not make a few good hiding spot at all!
>But like any resourceful mare you had persevered
>You KNEW that bucking stupid smelly butt would visit your sister right after he ate his breakfast
>Probably to taint her further with his vileness no doubt
>Look at what your dear sister has going on in that room of hers!
>H-Having two big, s-strong stallions having their w-way with each other while s-she just sat there s-smiling...
>...H-How was she a-abl--
>"...Your majesty? Are you alright?
"EEP!"
>With a yelp you launch yourself into the air with a wing flap
>OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!!
>ThornsTHORNSTHORNS!
>WAIT!
>YOUHAVETOGETBACKINTOTHEBUSH!
>THEYMIGHTSEEYOU!
>Forcing your wings to your sides you let your body plummet back to the earth
>Only to remember that you were about to fall into the bush a--
THUD
"Oh bucking horse apples!"
>With some thrashing, wiggling and more than a little colorful swearing you hopped out of the bush
>... And fell right on your muzzle
>Right in front of Green Hoof, one of your gardeners
>"...Y-Your majesty?"
>You crack open an eye to stare at the stallion
>...Curd
"Oh... hello my little pony," you lamely say. "Wonderful morning isn't it?"
>Green Hoof nervously looks around, obviously wanting to disappear
>"Y-Yeah, lovely day out today..."
>You get to your hooves with a groan, wincing as you used your magic to pull out a thorn
>O-Ow...
>Clearing your throat you look around, doing your best NOT to look like you were in a lot of pain
>Even though you kinda were...
"The gardens are looking wonderful."
>"Thank you, your highness."
>Green Hoof looked at the ground
>>25613761
Dynamic Entry
Pastebin.com/u/Netherpony
>>25615631
>"We all do our best to maintain it."
>The two of you kind of let the conversation die, neither of you knowing what to say
>What could either of you even say in this situation?
>You had just popped out of that bush screaming your head off with your rear covered in thorns!
>That wasn't something that could be smoothed over with a little small talk!
>And Green Hoof, the poor dear, wasn't going to ask what you were doing because he didn't want to embarrass you!
>...
>...
>...
>Wow...
>This was getting awkward
>Like really awkward...
>Coughing, you smile
"Well... I'd hate to keep you from your duties any longer..."
>Twitching, Green Hoof nodded his head just a little too hard
>"Yeah... I really need to get back to... other things."
>Green Hoof turned away from you
>"Have a good day your highness..."
>Not knowing what else to do you wave your gardener farewell
"You have a wonderful day as well, my subject!"
>You were going to make this up to Green Hoof somehow
>You didn't know how you were going to do it but you were going to do it!
>...Bucking Anonymous...
>If he wasn't such a b-butt and--
>"HEY PEEPIN' TOM! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND FUCK RIGHT OFF?"
>With another epp you dive back into the bush
>Horse apples!
>That was Anonymous!
>That butt must have seen you!
>You had to get out of here!
>You needed to disappear before he alerted Luna and she sent somepony to search for intruders!
>Gottagofast!!!!
>>25615678
I didn't know what else to write so I'm done for the night. Hope you guys had to decent thanksgiving.
>>25615700
y-you too
>>25615700
Turkey Genocide Day was okay. Tsunlestia is muh new fetish. Thanks, bro.
>>25615135
ayyyyy
Hello yes, I heard there was requests?
>You wake up with a hangover
>One of those awful ones that hits you before you even open your eyes
>So you do what any self respecting drunk would do
>You flop your arm over your face and groan
>While it doesn't help, but it does signal to the world that, yes, your liver is still functioning
>It's the little victories that count in life
>After a few more weak grunts, you manage to roll yourself out of bed and hobble to the bathroom
>Not even bothering with the lights, you grope for the sink and prop yourself up against it before finally opening your eyes
>Yup, you're all there
>100% human
>And with a great big shiner to boot
"Helluva night."
>God, your voice sounds like you've been gargling sand for a week
>After washing your face, taking special care around the eye, you slurp up a mouthful of water, then a second for good measure
>What a relief
>As you stare at yourself, with your tongue lingering on your bottom lip, you suddenly become aware of an unusual sound
>A fatty sound, sizzling, possibly popping?
>Your cracked lips roll up into an instinctive smile
"What is that absolutely haram sound tickling at my ears?"
>And, after a moment more, your face falls
"Better question, who the fuck is in my house?"
>Stopping long enough to grab Ol'Kicky, you slide the boot onto your foot and quietly tromp your way out from the bathroom and towards the kitchen
>A glorious smell assaults your nostrils as you prepare to round the corner
>No doubt about it, somebody's cooking up your bacon
"Like hell I'm going to stand for that."
>Placing yourself close to the wall, you glance around the corner and see a pony busying itself in the kitchen
>Correction, herself
>Further correction...
"Rainbow?"
>The pegasus stiffens, her head whirling about
>Jaw dropping, she makes a throaty, confused sound before forcing a smile
>"Oh, hey Anon; I was just, y'know stopping by to check up on you and thought you could, use some breakfast?"
>>25617579
>Puffing out your cheeks, you sigh and separate yourself from your +5 Boot of Pony Booting and wobble into the kitchen
"Well, seeing as how you didn't show up last night, that's pretty swell of you."
>Rainbow puts on an obviously forced smile, but quickly changes the subject
>"So anyway, I figured that after a big night down at the bar, what could be better than a greasy breakfast!"
"Rainbow, you don't eat bacon."
>"Yeah, so?"
"So how are you going to know if it's good to eat or not?"
>With all the confidence in the world, the speedster smirks
>"Duh, when it starts to get all crispy, but before it turns black?"
>You glance at the nearly charred and shriveled pieces of pork already set aside by the pan
>She's burnt nearly a dozen pieces already
>Putting on a smile, you walk over and do your best to salvage some of the tenderness of the remaining pieces in the pan
"Thanks for looking out for me Dash; you're a real bro."
>Pushing your fist out behind you, you wait expectantly for the bump of her hoof
>But it's slow coming
>After a moment, you glance behind you and see that Rainbow is looking up at you with a goofy smile
>Unsure of what to do, you continue to grin, more forced by the second, before finally giving a gentle shake of your still outstretched fist
>After a moment more, Dash's smile fades and, with a heavy sigh, she reaches up and bumps you
>You waste no time turning back to the skillet, eager to be done with the awkwardness
"All right, off to a good start today."
>"Uh, yeah, sure."
>Jeez, what's crawled up her butt?
>You take time to fix up a proper breakfast that doesn't consist solely of pork, and even manage to throw something together for Rainbow before moving to the table.
>The awkward atmosphere extends beyond the incident at the stove, with Dash watching you over her plate the entire time
>You'd never thought about it before, but those big pony eyes are kinda creepy
>Anyway, you're nearly through with eating when a knock comes
>>25617596
"Oh good, my daily wake up call."
>Sighing, you move to stand when Rainbow hops out of her seat, all smiles
>"Hey Anon, buddy, why don't you sit this one out and I'll take care of it?"
"Uh"
>The throaty sound is all you can manage before Dash disappears, leaving a rainbow trail behind her
>In the distance, the door opens, and you catch bits an pieces of a muffled conversation.
>"Oh, Rainbow... Anonymous?"
>"Fine Fluttershy... come down... case of cider shaft..."
>"Oh dear... okay?"
>"Yup! No visitors though! See you!"
The last bit is clear as day as Rainbow all but shouts before slamming the door
>Quick as she left, Dash is back in the room
>On the table in fact
>She's got her eyes wide, grinning from ear to ear
>And holding her hoof out for a bump
>You glance between the usually cute pony's terrifying gaze and her hoof, donning an anxious smile
>One which she completely ignores, her face splitting into an even wider grin
"Uh, thanks, Rainbow."
>"No problem. That's what bros do, right?"
>You give an uncertain nod
"Sure."
>The word hangs in the air for a moment before Dash raises an eyebrow
>"And what else do bros do when their bro does them a solid?"
>Another uncertain sound escapes your throat before you putting on a completely lost expression and bump her hoof with your fist
"Hoof-bump, right?"
>There's a moment more of waiting before Rainbow's face settles back into a scowl
>"So that's not good enough either, huh?"
>Okay, this is getting obnoxious
"Good enough for what, Rainbow?"
>"Don't act like you don't remember what happened last night."
>The little pony puffs out her cheeks, leaving you completely lost
"Uh, I invited you out to go drinking, you never showed, and I ended up getting sloshed with Big Mac?"
>Rainbow leans in closer
>"And?"
>And?
>And what?
>Did something else happen?
>At once your bruised face throbs
>Oh right, there was a fight at some point
>But you really don't remember it
>You must have gotten really shitfaced last night
>>25617614
>May as well wing it
>Now, what sounds good?
"Uh, I got into a tussle?"
>Rainbow nods
>All right, one for one
>You feel your confidence growing
"And, it was a really knock down drag out fight."
>The pony gives another uncertain nod, anger giving way to a measure of interest
>Sweet
"It was me and Mac against the entire bar, even the barpony."
>Now she nods excitedly
"The fight must have lasted ten minutes before Big Mac and I were thrown out and told not to return until we paid out tabs!"
>"That's so cool..."
>Nice, you've got her hooked
>Now for the finishing blow!
"And then, I came home and went to bed."
>Immediately Rainbow scowls
>Garbage...
>"That's not what happened."
"It's not?"
>She shakes her head
>Now it's your turn to get defensive
"Yeah? Well how would you know? You weren't even there!"
>"I was for this part."
>Rainbow's voice is a deadpan.
>"I saw what happened when Big Mac carried you home."
>Wait
>Mac brought you home?
>And something happened?
>Your rectum clutches on reflex as Dash glares at you.
>"That's right, I saw everything because I was waiting out front for you to come home but ducked out of sight when I heard you two coming. You were howling and laughing together, and having a great time. And then, when he got you to the door, you turned to him and you said..."
>Rainbow pauses, looking up at you
>You're sweating bullets, wondering what it was that you'd blurted out
>That you thought his sister was hot?
>That he should come inside?
>That he should COME INSIDE?
>But Rainbow isn't making a move
>Hell, she can't leave you like this
>Reaching out, you grab the pegasus pony by the cheeks and push your nose to her snout
"What did I say Rainbow? What did I say!?"
>She doesn't flinch a bit, glaring at you with a sneer on her face
>"You. Said. He. Was. Awesome."
>A pause
"That's it?"
>"And that you loved him."
>Another moment of silence.
"That's... it?"
>"And you bumped his hoof."
>>25617627
>...
>Taking your impassive face as a motion to continue, Dash brings down the hammer
>"And then you laughed and said: No Homo. And went inside."
>You flop back into your seat, exhausted
>Your face hurts again
>Covering yourself with your arm, you sigh
"Dash..."
>"It's not fair!"
>You don't need to be looking to know the throaty crack that comes into her voice when she starts tearing up.
>"You did something with Big Mac that you never do with me!"
"Dash..."
>"No, no, I get it; this whole No Homo thing must be for absolute best bros forever, right? It- It's not something you do with just anyone, right?"
>Moving your arm to the side, you see Dash rubbing a hoof across her muzzle as she blinks back tears.
>"I mean, otherwise, you would No Homo me all the time, right? But, I just, I thought, we were best bros but we've never done it..."
>God ponies are stupid sometimes
>You could take the time to explain this to her
>But really, would that make things any better?
>She'd just get embarrassed
>Maybe you should just go along with this
>Taking a deep breath, you put on a smile and reach out to ruffle her mane
"You're right Dash, I have been neglecting putting you in on this. I'm sorry."
>Rainbow sniffs, looking up at you for a moment before extending her slightly snotty hoof in your direction
>That's really gross
>But you bump her all the same, smiling
"I love you bro. No homo."
>The pony puts on a smile and sniffles
>"N-No homo."
>You have a quiet laugh at Rainbow's expense, seeing as she's happy again
>It is, after all, the little victories in life that make it worth living
>And there is certainly no way at all that this will come back to bite you in the ass
>Probably.
>>25615700
enjoying this
>>25617641
this is solid, keep it up/10
>>25617641
I believe you are using the wrong version of this image.
The *satisfied cunt noises* one would work, and for post coitus, *Satisfied horse cunt*
>>25617833
Just some fun
>>25617879
Maybe when you write it you can do it like that. I like it the way it is.
>>25617879
>not the best version.
>>25615422
I think the name came from a fic where Celestia visited Ponyville as a pegasus so no one would recognize her.
>>25618891
I was thinking Celestia gets mugged
>>25619096
I thought it was, "Celestia gets an Anal Probe."
>>25600635
Any good Rainbow Dash x Anon story?
>>25619224
There's one RIGHT THERE. THE LAST ONE POSTED.
>>25619248
WHY ARE MY GIFS ALWAYS BROKEN
>>25619248
>>25619262
oh shit, didn't see that, i'm an autist
>>25619265
It's okay. I-It's not like I wrote it for you and >>25600665
and
>>25613761
or anything.No, but I hope it makes you smile.
>>25619262
You have to save for web and devices.
How about a good Anon and Eris fic?
>>25619333
>Be Anon.
>Discord is trying to trick you into fucking him for some reason.
>He turned into a girl and now calls himself "Eris."
>You'd totally ride that, but you know he's going to slip a horse cock up your butt if you let your guard down.
>So for now you just let him wash your car in a white tshirt with Rarity over and over.
>>25619365
i keks
>>25619284
it did make me smile it was really well written and well done, nice job Anon :)
>>25619375
The correct interpretation is that he is using Rarity as a sponge. I'd have made that clearer, but I just woke up.
>>25619333
The Golden Apple.
>>25619399
>mrliteral.png
ha thats even better. i just thought you were a rarrrafag
>>25619365
>Be Rarity
>You look back over to where Anon is sitting at his front porch
>He hasn't moved a muscle except to take a sip from his juice box
>Dis-*Eris* had told you that he would be all over you if you washed his vehicle, yet he looks more suspicious than anything
>And why did she have me make the two of us white shirts if they were just going to get soaked?
>You can hardly tell I'm wearing anything at all with how it sticks and blends in with my coat
>Drat, I'm going to lose that bet with Applejack at his rate
>>25619399
>>25619462
Oh crud, I wouldn't have made this if I know that. Oh well, thanks m80.
>>25619333
When?
>>25619493
No worries. Keks were had and green was added to the thread.
>>25619462
>lets_get_down_to_business.jpg
>You were NOT going to lose to Applejack. A /lady/ certainty doesn't do farm work. Even if it's just for an afternoon.
>Climbing on the hood you make your way to Eris, who is sliding all over the roof with loofas tied to each of her appendages.
>You grab her snout and withno tongueyou plant one right on her lips.
>Anonymous' eyes shot wide open, as expected, as did Eris', seems your plan might be working.
>You stand on your hind legs, throwing your shirt in the air. You slide off the the hood and begin to make your way over to Anonymous.
>Eris, catching on, does the same, sliding off the roof and droping to the floor.
>Just before you reach Anon, he puts his hand out to stop you two, and sayseverybody walk the dinosaur.
>>25619419
I guess if you like fics that are practically dead, sure.
>>25620116Hi Overlord.
>Day filly in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Also now a little girl pony
>Why is a mystery
>You go to see Twilight, she probably knows what caused this
>"Spike did it"
>Fucking dragon always screwing around with magic spells
>Twilight levitates a bottle of goo in front of you
>"Drink this, it'll fix you."
>You drink it
>It's horrible
>Then there's a big cloud of smoke and you're a human again
>Then you go give spike a good kicking
>Twilight joins in too
>>25620149Shhhhh...
>>25620255
Twilight's only mad because the cure for Anon was all the cum she collected for herself when she turned into a stallion that one time. Now she'll have to do it again.
>>25618485
this
>>25615700
Why is lewdna so absolutely delightful? Almost makes me wish sunhorse wasn't involved so luna could have the honor of popping anon's horse cherry, along with a few other cherries.
crosspostan
>>25621855
>Be Anon the chocolate maker in Equestria.
>Got kicked out of britain for inviting people to your factory under the guise of a competition and then feeding them ALL THE DRUGS.
>Or maybe you ate one of the "special" chocolates by mistake, you can't be sure.
>Either way, your clientele is now mostly magical ponies.
>Today you are releasing a new terrifically tasty toffee treat to the town as a test.
>IT'S FULL OF DRUGS
>You hope to gain feedback to improve your technique, you've never been particularly focused on catering to the equine palette.
>So here you are, wheeling a cartload of experimental sweets out the front gates of your factory compound.
>It's not a very long journey into the center of town, and you set up a stall when you get there.
"Come and try my new Caramel Cream Chocolates, free today only!"
>Some of the townsponies come up and try them.
>You make sure to pay attention to their reactions as they eat the samples, recording everything on your official-looking clipboard.
>Over the course of the morning you not mostly positive results
>A handfull of the volunteers tried to eat their hooves and had to be restrained and horsepitalised.
>You take this to mean that they got chocolate melted onto themselves and tried to eat it anyway
>Must remember to try raising the melting point to fix that.
>Can't have good chocolate just melting and going to waste.
>By noon you've run out and pack up to return to your factory.
>But before you can leave the town square, a bunch of the townsponies have surrounded you.
>"That's the one, he was giving out free chocolates earlier"
"Sorry ladies, I've already run out for today."
>They leave disappointedly and you continue home.
>Later they break into your factory and get stuck in the giant gummy gears while trying to eat the sugar springs.
>Fucking ponies
I was thinking about writing a short holiday themed green, had an ok idea.
Go for it this week, or wait until later in the month?
>>25622852
It's December. Do it now.
>>25622852
Never ask, just post that green.
>>25622855
Fuck year xmas
>>25622852
Like with touching the cow, do it now.
>>25622855
>>25623058
>>25623103
Fine. You'll get your green, just started it.
Don't get your hopes up for anything good though, new to this.
>>25623070
>pic related
>>25623392
Don't worry, =. AiE is great to first time writers.
>laughingmares.gif
>>25623472
We love writers, what we don't like is prissy little prima donnas that think just because they write green they should get fellated whenever they want.
>>25623544
You mistake people wanting to be fellated for just wanting to know if anyone even reads their work. It's rather difficult for a lot of people wanting to continue writing anything when they feel their work isn't being read in the first place. Most of the Anons in these threads shit on every single new writer I've seen if they at all try to see if anyone reads their work. Yes, some of those people are fucking retards, but that doesn't mean they all are, yet they're all equally treated as shit and made out as if THEY'RE the ones creating the drama in the first place.
Sure, I'll agree that writers do want attention. This is mostly the only thing they want out of writing their greentext. They'd like people to read their work, maybe even comment on it and see how they're doing, what works and doesn't, and other bullshit around it.Some of those writers are assholes about it, and some are wanting to fuck around and cause drama. But not all, if even majority, want that. They just want recognition for theire work.
>>25623773
This.
>>25623472
>>25623544
>>25623773
Jesus. Literally all I said was is it to early for a Hearthswarming green and it might suck.
I know you guys are speaking in general, but still.
>>25624242
Welcome to Fagtown.
>>25624242
You'll have a much better time here when you can ignore these things.
>>25624265
>welcome
I've been here for 900+ threads.
I'm just a bitch and have never wrote shit.
Just expected this shitposting after I post, not before. Y'all niggers are salty this morning.
>>25624315
>salty
I'm laughing brother. It's a great day to be alive and other faggots are making a big deal out of nothing. Worth every minute.
But good on you for trying something new.
>>25624354
Dat pic
>>25624354
dat pic
>>25624960
>>25625005
JESUS the tread sucks today!
>be Twatlot Sperks
>you are reading a book
>per usual
>you look at the clock
>usually Anon comes around this time to hassle you for being a nerd
>wonder where he is
>be Anon
>slowly walking around p0nyville
>you feel odd
>like you have no desire to really do anything
>like you have no real direction
>you ponder this
>youve always believed in fate. in predetermined destiny
>of some greater force or forces that plan your/everyponys/and the worlds every move
>maybe with something dank like a quill orgay like a touchscreen
>but today you felt free
>like you could /actually/ do anything you wanted
>like no one was writing your story so to speak
>THE WORLD IS AT YOUR FINGERTIPS ANON
>wut do?
>ehh..why bother
>you decide and just make your way over to twiggles and watch her get all mad as you rip out pages of books, crumple them into balls and toss them at her one by one
page 10 bump
>>25626146
>JESUS the tread sucks today!
the thread sucks every day.
>>25627045
Kek
It's not usually this slow though. Look at the post times nig
>>25627137
Obviously it's time for some of us to step up to fill the void.
Make requests, I'm getting good and liquored up.
![[Cunt Horse Noises].png](https://i.imgur.com/ZIpYaum.png "[Cunt Horse Noises].png")
>>25618485
>not the best version.
>>25627155
Any chance you'd be willing to do some daddy x daughter with these two cuties?
I don't care if it's rough and dirty clop, or some passionate and engaging romance.Sorry for asking here, but you can't actually get anything in satyr general anymore.
>>25626146
that meta anon
>>25627155
You know, that's not a bad suggestion. I'll follow suit and write something shortly as well.
>>25627251
Merry Decemberween, satyrfag
>>25627155
Anon and Ponk with Gummy cute funs
>>25627251I feel like giving up entirely sometimes
I don't know how you're here just in time for me to get drunk. But here we go. Here's the one from last time too
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24820599/#24874612
>"DAD!"
>Kim rushes into the room, Mera bouncing along behind her as she tends to do
>That's kind of what happens when you've got your snake-sister sticking out of your backside anyway
>Your half-goat-tiger-snake-human daughter flashes you a toothy grin
"What's up, kiddo?"
>"I found out that I can do something awesome! You wanna see?"
"Sure, blow my mind."
>Kimmy nods, taking a deep breath, enough to push out her chest and cheeks, and then holds it
>You watch her, smiling and waiting for the exhale
>Five seconds
>Twenty seconds
>...Sixty
>Ninety?
>You lean in close, staring at your daughter to make sure that she's not breathing through her nose, but you can't even see anything that would suggest that
>Two minutes now, and she's not even looking winded
>And so time stretches on until it dawns on you that Kim doesn't have to breathe
>Reaching past her, you grab Mera's mouth and clamp it shut
>Almost immediately Kim's eyes bulge and she chokes out a very unattractive gasp
>You smirk, tapping her nose with a finger
"Very clever, you almost got me."
>The girl scowls, glancing back at her sister.
>"Aw man."
>Releasing Mera, the snaky girl pouts
>"We were ssssure we'd get you thiisssss time."
"Well, you have to be a little quicker to pull one over on your old man."
>The girls nod
>But Kim brightens almost immediately
>"So, there's a second part!"
"Oh?"
>The girls nod.
>"Want to ssssee?"
"Uh, sure."
>The girls smile at each other
>And then Kimmy pants you straight out of your underwear
>With her tiger speed, the siamese halfling pounces onto your dick and begins lapping at it furiously
>Giving a tired sigh, you try to push the girl away, but she keeps tonguing you all the same
"Kim."
>"Mmph."
"Kimmy."
>"Mmph."
"Stop that."
>"Mm-mm."
>>25627822
>Well shit, that didn't work
>What did the parenting guidebook say to do after they don't listen to you?
>As you wrack your brain for the next step, your dick decides that it's had enough of modern parenting practices
>If a kid won't listen, smack them across the face!
>Which, is exactly what your now stiff boner does
>Unfortunately, rather than recoil and tear up, Kimmy moans
>Somehow, you think that your dick knew this would happen
>Fucking Richard.
>"Mm, Daddy, you're so naughty."
>Her voice has that dangerous purr that her mothers get before they pounce
>Her slitted eyed meet yours even as her mouth opens and she slides your erection into her mouth
>You grimace as the rather rough surface of her tongue drags along the underside of your dick; the smaller halfling struggling to force her jaw wide enough so her sharp teeth don't press against you
>But somehow, some way, she manages to get you to the back of her throat
>Then, with a rather coy wink, she rolls further down, deepthroating you like a fucking champ
>Granted, there's fear behind her eyes and you can feel her swallowing frantically, but she's going for it all the same
>Mera chooses that moment to slither up alongside you, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
>"What do you think Daddy? Thisss isss our sssissster "breathlessss" ssspecial."
"It, uh, it's nice?"
>The girls completely miss your awkward response and sigh happily.
>"We're ssso glad you like it."
>"Mhmm."
"Kim, don't talk with your mouth full."
>The halfling rolls her eyes and begins bobbing her head back and forth, initiating an awkward but gentle deepthroat blowjob.
>You watch as Mera takes control of the breathing for the pair, her eyes drifting shut as she forces ever larger gulps into their shared body
>What a weird couple of kids.
>But fine, if they want to play this game, you may as well go all in.
>>25627839
>Reaching down, you tussle your hairy daughter's head.
>Kimmy chokes out a giggle, which turns to a panicked grunt as you grip the horns on top of her head
>Stumbling to your feet, you pull her up along with you and begin to give her a royal facefucking
>Kimmy quickly tears up, but doesn't do anything to stop you, grunting and working the unfamiliar muscles of her throat as best she can
>Mera isn't doing much better, the sudden shift in positioning causing her to wobble about unsteadily as she begins to hyperventilate.
>At this rate, they won't last more than another thirty seconds or so
>Just as well
>You give a few more pumps and thrusts before carefully extracting your batter blaster from your daughter's toothy maw
>She starts to gargle something when the first splash of spooge smacks her across the face
>Kimmy sighs in protest as she's smothered
>After things settle down, you pat her affectionately on the head
"That wasn't too bad for a first time, kiddo."
>Those yellow eyes peer out at you from the snowbank of her face
>"But now I'm a mess."
"That's right."
>Another hair ruffle
"And you'll continue to be until you manage to make me cum down your throat. Now go get cleaned up, your mothers are going to be home soon."
>"Okay."
>The girls groan in tandem.
>As they move towards the bathroom, you call after them
"And remember, good girls don't waste spunk."
>As they round the corner, you see Mera leaning in and starting to clean her sister's face off with her tongue
>Chuckling, you shake your head and pull up your pants
"Ha, ha, crazy kids. What kinda scheme will they come up with next?"
>>25627857
Boner/10
I liked it.
>>25628417
no u
Hey, writefags of AiE. Can we get some green on >>25624178 and >>25624871 pls?
>>25629019
>Not a ten billion barrel
I miss Nof...
>>25629464
I stopped giving a fuckhe did first
>>25629019
You know what REALLY needs green right now?
>>25348644 does.
It's a general with great potential, but only one active writefag.
>>25630201
Then have that active writefag come here. It totally fits as an AiE concept and it keeps a mostly dead thread from cluttering the board.
Don't come here and beg for writefags when your writefag could just come to this thread instead.
>>25629019
>>25630201
>implying
They could just let their overly specific threads die and move their stories on over to AiE.
>>25630660
>>25630681
I've been trying to get that one writefag to move here, but those faggots just refuse to let it die.
>Dear Princess Twilight,
>Hey, I know I normally don't write to you but I needed to get a safe distance away before you discovered what I did to your downstairs bathroom.
>You'll probably have to replace everything that's in there. Plus Nkunknkung the Destroyer is a terrible bathroom attendant. I tried to get her to leave, but I couldn't pay the price she was asking.
>Can you believe the price of orphan blood today?
>Anyway enjoy the 250 years of darkness and pain or whatever.
>Sincerely,
>Anonymous.
>p.s. Tell Spike to stay out of my porn until I get back. F.Y.I. he's really into the mom/son type stuff if you're interested.
>>25631364
>he's really into the mom/son type stuff if you're interested.
That's cool.So is she.
page 9rump
>>25632076
Now there's an image we can all get behind.
>>25615678
okay?
i dont understand the reasoning for the random gay scene
>>25632736
Luna is a massive sexual deviant and was getting off on watching two stallions dance the horizontal mambo while waiting for the right time to magic herself a rumpleforeskin and run a train.
RIP Robin Williams
>>25632736
Equestria doesn't have internet porn.
>>25632736
Why not have a gay scene?
>>25632982
This is also an extremely good reason.
>>25633020
I like the idea of an Anon so sexually jaded and numbed by internet porn that he just can't get excited by anything anymore.
>>25632736
As the others have said, luna a kinky slut. Besides, what better way to get ready for bed than watching a pair of stallions enjoy some carnal pleasure before growing a cock of your own and joining in? Only a faggot wouldn't enjoy that sort of thing.
>>25632076
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XBm8oAYxzA
Festive crosspost
>>25630327
>Anon becomes a semi-mystical being like Santa Claus
>Day XXXmas in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Today is decemberwarming eve so you're out and about in the nicer parts of town
>Each year the ponies leave out offerings to you in exchange for dickings
>Since the richer ponies can afford better offerings you tend to visit them more than the poorer ones who don't give such good stuff.
>You still swing by to the poorer ponies if they're on the way to where you're going, but you plan your trips based on who gives the best stuff
>After the first year you picked up these helpers who pull your cart of goodies around.
>Some ponies leave treats for them on the ground out the front of their houses, hoping they will veer over to collect them and thus bring the dickings closer to them
>Now some might wonder how one man can fuck all the ponies in one night
>"There's just not enough time in one day to fuck that many things." They might claim.
>And they'd be wrong.
>Ponies don't have good sexual endurance.
>So you end up sticking your dick in one pony and having to carry them towards the next house so that your dick doesn't get cold
>You usually don't have time to reach the next pony before the one you're fucking collapses from being fucked too much
>TFW the ponies had to make a national holiday to overcome their sexual shortcomings
Not from around here crosspost
>Be Anon
>In Canterlot dungeons because cultists
>Fucking cultists
>"Run! it's broken free!"
>Right now you're trying to figure out where you are
>You notice there's a friendly map on the wall
>"Canterlot Dungeon Map"
>Okay now where are you on the map...
>Seriously?
>"Secret cult ritual chamber" has a red dot on it saying "You are here"
>Okay, if you're reading this right you need to go left at the end of the corridor, through the wee men storage warehouse and then up the staircase to get to the exit.
>You calmly exit the ritual chamber and head towards the exit
>On the way you encounter some scared looking but very festively coloured ponies
>Similar to the cultists from earlier but not wearing evil cultist robes
>They're so bright and cheerful looking, except for the looks of utter horror on their faces as they run screaming shortly after you meet them
>When you reach the exit there are a bunch of them crouching behind a little sandbag wall
>As you pass them you stop to take a close look
>Oh, that's just adorable.
>They're dressed up as little ancient soldiers.
>Oh, they've seen you and are all just sitting there staring at you.
"Hello there."
>They all horse scream and run around, one of them bashing his head into the wall
"Bad pony! NO!"
>They all stop and just stand there looking at you blankly again
>It takes a few minutes, but you get them outside with a lot of shoving and lifting.
>Some fresh air will do them good.
>>25634376
>the wee men storage warehouse
>Be Anon.
>The spiderpones are all hungover this morning.
>Apparently there was a shindig last night that went on until the wee hours in the morning.
>You couldn't hear it from inside your panic room.
>Time to go foraging.
>It takes half the day, but you get some much needed supplies in the way of canned goods and spider pornography.
>Just because you're scared of horse sized spiders doesn't mean you aren't trying.
>You also took this opportunity to tie spiderlegs together with some rope fron the general store.
>Why they even kept it in stock you'll never know.
>Now you sit back with some canned peaches with Yakity Sax playing as you watch spiderpones stumble around on closed circuit television.
>>25634448
They know
>>25635266
Of course they do.
>Be Anon.
>You like Purple Pone, but she no like you.
>Always yell.
>Be mad at Anon.
>You know no why she mad.
>Woo Purple Pone.
>Bring gifts of song, dance, and meat.
>Bear was good fight, much meat for Purple.
>She just yell.
>Anon sad.
>Anon sit next to house and stroke lovestick.
>>25636003
That's what Cavemanon gets for having shit taste.
>>25635537
Too much...
>>25636094
Rarity a shit.
>>25636362
no ur waifu
>>25636380
Luna is a veteran of the waifu wars.
Her taste in waifus is lacking though.
>>25636457
Which ones?
>>25637072
All the ones that are not yours.
>>25637117
I meant which wars.
>>25613272
Chapter 2 uploaded.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzYWzNTB8m0
>>25637699
Next time, a link would be much appreciated. Also it's going to be difficult for people to come into this story when everything is all in one single paste; trying to read and take pauses will be a hindrance to readers.
The second part felt somewhat rushed, like you wanted to get the chapter put down. I get why people do this, they're eager to get their work out and shared or finished, but please slow down and work things over. The dialogue between Rarity and Applejack are a good example of this. You had them discussing things before they ran from the timberwolves. In that one line of dialogue between them after they escaped, Rarity just so happened to see a throne that was thrown in. That was very clunky, Forest. The first part of your story was a pretty okay start, barring that beginning.
Another thing to note is the main in your story. I am sorely disappointed that the human had, for some reason, morphed into the shape of a pony. I expected something to change, such as him being plant-like or maybe even turning partially into a tree, but to have him lose his humanoid shape? I don't get the reasoning. And while I find the name "Everfree" interesting, maybe as a nickname for him, it doesn't help things here. You've essentially made an OC pony named Everfree the main in your story when these threads traditionally have a human in Equestria named Anon. You're not going to have many fans over that decision unfortunately.
While I'll still give this story a chance, I don't see many people continuing further at this point.
I got a little sidetracked by another thread last night. But here we are again.
Make your request.
>>25639248
depressed dresshorse
>>25639300
Opposite out of spiteagain
>>25639248
A day in the life of Anon and his milky minotit harem.
>>25639248
Anon tries to use the pones as pokemon.
>>25639248
Anon secretly dates one pony while publicly "dating" another pony.
>>25639300
Why would you wish that on such a nice pony?
>Day Cold Pigs in Equestria
>You're Anonymous, and headed over to Rarity's
>For, y'know, clothes and shit.
>Since you arrived, the clothier has taken an interest in providing you with additional pieces of attire
>Something about it being 'a unique experience, darling' or whatever.
>It's piecemeal, but she's been able to keep you comfortable so far.
>Unfortunately, she seems a little less inspired to give you a hand up.
>Hoof up.
>Whatever.
>Point is, she doesn't seem to be interested in working for free anymore.
>Which, y'know, is fine.
>She's got a business and all.
>But you need some socks.
>Preferably thick ones because the weather team is working overtime to get Ponyville ready for winter.
>With a pocketful of bits jangling, you make your way across the town, ready to make your first official clothing purchase.
>To be honest, you're a little excited, as silly as that sounds.
>But the first sign that something is wrong is when you find the door to Carousel Boutique is locked
>The second is when you knock and nobody answers
>Now, Rarity's an artist
>There's no denying that
>But she doesn't usually lock up her store during business hours.
>So you peek in a couple windows.
>The lights are on, but there's no sign of the marshmallow mare anywhere
"Where you at, Rare?"
>Pursing your lips, you shuffle around the Boutique, glancing inside and occasionally trying the windows as you pass by them.
>They're shut tight.
>The back door isn't though.
>So, standing half-in and half-out, you rap your knuckles on the now open door.
"Rare? You in?"
>A plaintive groan echoes down somewhere from the second floor.
>Closing the door behind you, you head up the stairs and take a look around.
>Ah, there she is.
>Rarity sits in front of her work station
>Well, sort of; there is that whole 'being flopped over it' part too
>She makes another weak sound as you clear your throat, one of her eyes lazily drifting over to you.
>>25640071
>"Oh. Anonymous."
>She coughs, pulling herself up to a seated position.
>Well, she tries, but ends up unable to lift her cheek from the counter top
>Offering up another sigh, the tired pony stares through you.
>"Apologies. Had I known you were coming by, I might have put on some tea."
"You look a little rough, Rarity."
>A pained smile flits across the fashionista's face as she brings her hooves up to her mane and futilely tries to smooth out the stray hairs springing out of it
>"I'm sure I must look a fright dear, you don't need to remind me. What can I do for you?"
"I, uh, I came to place an order for some winter socks?"
>Almost immediately you see a part of the little pony's life die in her eyes.
>"Oh. Yes. Of course."
>You wait for a moment for her to do, well, anything, but she just lays there, likely not even seeing you at this point.
>You clear your throat again.
"Rarity? You okay?"
>There's a lengthy silence.
>The mare's tired expression morphs into a petulant pout.
>"...No..."
>Another awkward moment before you step closer.
"Well, what's wrong?"
>"I'm horribly backed up on orders already."
>Oh.
>You scratch the back of your neck.
"Okay, then I suppose I won't burden you more."
>Rarity blinks lazily, finally looking up into your eyes for the first time since you entered the room.
>"I would appreciate it."
>Wow.
>Talk about being moody.
"So, I'll leave now."
>Rarity nods, turning her head and burying her snout into her desk.
>Okay, forget moody.
>This is a grade A funk.
>You puff out your cheeks and then tap your foot a few times.
"Hey, Rare?"
>Groan.
"You, uh, want a pizza?"
>It takes a moment, but the mare turns back to you.
>"Are you suggesting I eat one? Or are you offering?"
"...Yes?"
>There's an awkward silence before she pushes herself away from the table.
>"Then I suppose that's fine. But I am not going to be seen by other ponies in such a state. Bring it back, if you would."
"Yeah, sure."
>>25640082
>As you're walking back across town, you begin to wonder how something as simple as getting socks has turned into a dramatic affair.
"Must be Rarity being Rarity."
>The thought brings a smirk to your lips.
>An hour later, you've returned back to Carousel Boutique, and the two of you have managed to munch your way through three-quarters of the pie.
>For all her airs, Rarity can be a messy eater when she wants; a fact attested to by the splotches of grease on her belly as she slouches deeper into her chaise lounge.
>Taking a long pull off of her wine, the inebriated blue eyed pony offers up an angry huff
>"I despise special orders, Anonymous."
"Why's that, Rare?"
>"Because inevitably the ones making them have absolutely no sense of style or grace when it comes to fashion."
>Squirming in her seat, she takes another drink.
>"Every mare wants a little black dress, but some of them don't realize that black looks absolutely atrocious on them. But they can't be dissuaded from changing the color."
>Another bite of pizza, which she only partially chews before speaking again.
>"Sure I can be creative and go with a smokey grey, but I can only do that so many times before ponies begin to catch on and demand black."
>Swallowing, the marshmallow mare glares at the pizza hovering in front of her.
>"I am an artiste after all. Not a miracle worker. Well, not all the time."
>Going back to chewing on the slice, Rarity crosses her hooves over he belly and stares off into space again.
>You take a bite of your own, lost in thought for a long moment before smiling.
"Well, I don't think it's as bad as all that."
>"It's horrible, dear."
>You laugh a little.
"Maybe sometimes. But even when you get a little creative with their requests, they keep coming back to you, right?"
>>25640110
>Rarity gives an affirmative grunt; a noncommittal sound, but you can feel her eyes on you.
>Coughing, you shrug.
"Well, I was just thinking that even though they're not getting exactly what they asked for, they keep coming back, so they must at least acknowledge that you're doing good work for them."
>Another small sound, softer this time and accompanied by a gentle nod.
>"I suppose."
"In light of that, maybe you should focus your attention on what's right instead of what they want."
>A snooty snort escapes Rarity's snout, but the white mare smiles all the same.
>"Perhaps I should have a little more confidence in myself. A surprised client is far easier to deal with than an upset one."
>You grin.
"That's the stuff."
>The two of you continue your 'meal' in silence.
>You never did get your order in.
>But a week later, there's a package with a pair of knitted socks in your mailbox.
>You smile, tapping them a few times against your palm.
"She's a good gal, that Rarity."
