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>>25300004
Pineapple Archive:
http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/meme/23982869#navbar
>Walking by your eye twitches a little as you nod to the employee, muttering out a ‘thank you’
>You’re pretty sure that it all had to do more with the fact that Hype is cursed and not the park itself, but after watching you and your friends almost die three times, once to a hoard of squirrels no less, you don’t really associate the park with anything amusing
>”That park was of much fun, really exciting. What did you of think?”
“It was… interesting”
>He seems to detect the hesitance in your voice
>”You did not of enjoy park?”
“Hype was almost eaten by squirrels Penacriss, SQUIRRELS”
>”Is not of big deal, he was just of too nutty!”
>”Hype doesn’t seemed amused at the statement
“Pen, did you not have a problem with all of the other things? Like the bumper car flipping?”
>”I was actually of impressed that ride lasted so long before breaking. In home country, car would have flipped after first hit”
>Well, you guess everything is relative
>The rest of the trip is made in relative silence, everybody a bit too wore out to really much anything more than walking home
>Eventually the click of your door sounds as you all pour into the hotel room, relieved to be home
>Class starts in a little over an hour
>>25401471
We should make sure we're ready to leave for our parent's after class. Probably make sure that bottle for our dad is locked up tight.
>>25401471
Idly wonder if being Hype's friend is adding to his bad luck or ours.
>>25401471
Better start getting ready for class. Put on your work shirt and all that. Never showered this morning did we?
>Hype flops onto his bed, sighing in relieve probably because he’s in a safer place
>Pen starts to dig up his supplies for class
>Well, better grab a show while it’s open
>Heading into the bathroom, you shut the door, turning on the water
>Giving it a minute to heat up, you finally enter it when it starts to steam, stepping into the tub
>…What the hell is that?
>Reaching down, you grab a mass of fur from the drain
“Ew…”
>Pitching the ball of wet hair, you rinse your hoof off
>Griffons are filthy man
>You stay in the shower for a while, enjoying the heat as your mind wonders to more pressing issues
>Is having Hype as your friend going to rub his curse off on you too? Can you be double cursed?
>Maybe Shade will beat up the mare that cursed Hype because he doesn’t want her treading on his territory
>either way, you’ve got to find a way to help that poor soul. No pony should be stuffed into a tree by marauding squirrels
>Finishing up you turn off the water, taking your time to dry off completely before stepping out
>Immediately Pen pushes his way past you, shower turning on once more as you walk towards your bed
>Great, now the drain’s going to be clogged again
>Sitting down, you pull out your baggage, making sure that the bottle of griffon vodka you got you’re your dad is secured
>Don’t want a certain catbird finding it
>As you begin to take out your school supplies, a somber voice raises behind you
>”Gar, I don’t want to be cursed… I don’t want to explode or get eaten by squirrels, I'm too young for that”
>>25401891
Don't let it get to you, that's how she wins.
You can try the dream thing tonight and if that doesn't work we can figure something out.
Hopefully shes a dealer on the side or something...
>>25401891
There should be ways to fix it hype. Go to a book store and look up curses.
>>25401891
Listen Hype, we know a bat-er a mare that's well read. We'll ask her if she's knows anything about curses.
“Don’t let it get to you Hype, that’ how she wins”
>”I’m pretty sure she won after I was almost killed by a rocket…”
“Well buck up, there’s a way to fix this, we just have to find it”
>”But I don’t even know where to start! And it’s only a matter of time before one of these freak accidents really gets me”
“Hey, it’ll be ok. Tonight just try the dream thing that I suggested, maybe you two can have a nice chat and clear this whole thing”
>”But what if that doesn’t work? I have no idea how to fix curses”
>Maybe you could ask Shade for some help? You are backing him up on a date tomorrow, he should at least owe you for that
“Listen, I’ve got a… friend who’s well read. I’ll ask them if they can figure out what the problem is and how to fix it”
>He perks up upon you mentioning that
>”They can do that? You really think they can help?”
“Maybe. I know that they know a little about curses, and I’m sure they’ll try their best”
>”C-can I meet them when we get back home? I really need this taken care of”
>>25402240
No. He's busy with things. At least that's what he tells me. He usually comes to me when he has time.
>>25402240
>"I'm going to call in an expert and have them take a look at this."
But seriously, we'll giver 'er a call and ask her what she knows first.
>>25402280
>She
Fuckin' hell... thinking of Nightlight. But ey, they all look the same, am I right?
>>25402293
she does nothing but read all day, she might know something too
>>25402325
she didnt know anything about our curse.
Shade is the better option.
>>25402240
The truth works here.
Maybe, he's actually setting up for a big date after a long dryspell, so he'll be occupied immediately after we get back, but I'll talk to him and if he thinks he can help then sure.
“I don’t know Hype, he’s been pretty busy with things lately. I only see him when he has free time”
>”But Gar, this is life or death!”
>He jumps out of his bed, seizing you by the shoulders and shaking frantically
>”If we don’t figure it out, then… then who knows what will happen? But it won’t be good!”
>As he continues to freak you push him off gently
“Geez, calm down Hype, just calm down”
>”How can I calm down when I was almost killed?!”
“Alright look, here’s the thing. He’s actually setting up for a big date after having a long dry spell, so he’ll be occupied when we get back”
>”But-“
“But I will talk to him the first chance I get, and see what he says”
>”Please do Gar, I can’t take this. I thought that finally being able to have sex would be great, but it’s going to get me killed”!
“Yeah, I know Hype, how do you think I felt standing next to you when that rocket took off?”
>”But you aren’t the one cursed!”
>If only he knew
“I know. But we’ll do our best to figure it out. Until then you just stay away from dangerous situations”
>”But… What if I get killed by my pencil in class today?”
“I don’t know, use a pen then”
>”Did someone of say ‘Pen’?”
>The griffon exits the shower, still drying his feathers
>”We must be of going soon, class is approaching”
>>25402710
Agreed. Let's get going.
>>25402710
Nothing is going to happen in class. (something can happen on the way to class though) so just listen to what your teacher says.
>Agreeing with Pen, he quickly ducks back into the bathroom to hang up his towel
“Just relax Hype, you’ll be totally fine in class. Just listen to what the instructor has to say and nothing will happen”
>”You sure?”
“Trust me, you’ll be ok”
>He reluctantly nods after thinking it over for a second, hopping off his bed to gather his saddle bags
>Guess you better do the same
>Within a few minutes, the three of you are walking out of the hotel on the way to the building where the auditoriums are
>The entire time you keep an eye out for anything that might be cursed to attack Hype. Runaway chariots, planes falling out of the sky, a swarm of pigeons, anything is possible
>But you all make it there without any run ins, much to Hype’s relief
>Upon walking inside ponies in the lobby are already filing into the various rooms and auditoriums
>”Well. I guess I’ll get to my class”
“Have fun Hype. And don’t worry about your curse”
>”I’ll try too…”
>He turns around and disappears into the crowd of ponies
>You and Pen watch him walk away for a second before heading to where you need to be
>”Gar, did you of say that Hype was cursed? What curse?”
>>25403061
Apparently a witch cursed him to never have sex, and since he had sex, he has a bunch of bad luck or whatever.
>>25403061
Apparently he hit on some gypsy and she cursed him to never have sex. Except he had sex and now the curse is trying to kill him.
>>25403061
Some gypsy mare cursed his testicles.
>>25403329
might be the best way to put it
“Some gypsy mare cursed his testicles”
>He gives you an extremely confused look
>”Are you of pulling my leg?”
“No really, it’s true. Apparently a while back he annoyed some gypsy or witch or whatever to the point that she cursed him never to have sex”
>”But he of had sex with Glizelle just other night”
“I know, but now the curse is trying to kill him or gives him bad luck or something now that he defied it I guess”
>”Was that why rides were of so crazy at theme park?”
“Yeah, it was the curse trying to punish him”
>”Damn. I was of enjoying myself, I thought that park was naturally that fun”
“You could always just bring Hype along if you ever wanted to go back”
>”Is true. But would not be of fair to friend if we did not cure him”
“You’re right, but first I have to figure out how actually to help him”
>Finally sitting down at your seats in the auditorium, Pen places a claw under his chin, appearing to be deep in thought
>”You know, my grandmother was of Gypsy blood. I may have solution to problem”
“Really? What is it?”
>”I will of explain later. We must of try it in private when we get back to hotel”
>>25403448
Long as it doesn't take too long. I do have plans.
>>25403448
As long as this isn't one of those 'if testicles be of cursed, simply remove testicle' deals.
>>25403448
Can you do it on your own?
>>25403530
"It requires kiss of pure unicorn stallion to affected area."
>>25403584
gayfigs ged out REEEEE
“And you can do this on your own?”
>”Da, we can of do it by ourselves as soon as we get back, will not be of needing other ponies”
“And it won’t take long? Because I did have plans for tonight”
>”You were of visiting parents, no?”
“Yes, I’m not sure what time, but I’ll be with them tonight”
>”Well do not of worry friend, it will not take so long. You will of have plenty of time to get to parent’s house”
>This is starting to sound too good to be true. He claims that he can do it on his own, and it won’t take much time
>You really hope that this isn’t same whacky self-harming griffon custom
“Pen… This isn’t going to be one of those things where you say ‘If balls are of cursed, you of simply remove them’, is it?”
>He smirks at your comment, shaking his head as he chuckles
>”No Gar, there will be of no neutering. Hype’s balls will be of fine, trust me”
>>25403734
Guess we'll find out later.
Seminar time is now.
>>25403734
I trust ya pen. Time to sit through another class.
Pausing for now
so pen is part gypsy, but the gypsy was a mare, so does that mean that Pen has some pony in his background?
>>25403867
wow nice stereotype bigot, you don't have to be a pony to be a gypsy
>>25405726
Next you'll say you don't have to be a griffon to be a slav.
>>25405929
What the fuck you be of saying you lil cyka?
I bet Pen would have some good shooting tips if we asked him.
I want to take his scarf off and bully him.
>>25407515
I want to take his katana and bully him
>>25406726
>Is of superior griffon ingenuity
where has Shiny been? It's been a few threads since we've seen a batcancer post
>>25408150
He's bothering other threads now. I think he has new bait too.
>>25408150
I guess his bat cancer was terminal.
>>25408161
oh no...
BBC
>>25408708
I'm sorry you had to find out this way, anon. Not even our most advanced treatments could save him.
“I trust you Pen, we can give it a shot after class”
>”You will not be of disappointed!”
>Both you and Pen look forward again, the auditorium going quiet as a few instructors walk out onto the stage, picking up the microphone
>”How’s everypony doing today?”
>The room becomes a mumble of various responses
>”Alright, that’s good. So yesterday we focused heavily on a lot of knowledge and technical aspects of a security manager’s duties. But we all know that all of that usually goes right out the door as soon as a real life situation comes up, as we sat by our two demonstrators yesterday”
>You idly rub your ribs as he says that, wincing a bit as they feel bruised
>”So today we’d like to introduce you to some more live scenarios of situations that might arise on the job. So if we could just get the back couple of rows to follow the instructors at the door that’d be great”
>All the ponies a few rows away get up, taking a minute to all stream out of the auditorium
>”So, in the meantime, let’s just review what we went over yesterday”
>About an hour later the doors reopen, the first couple rows of ponies that left returning
>this process repeats another time, with the next group coming back in a similar fashion some time later
>”Ok, time for another rotation. Next to rows, your turn”
>Obey, you and Pen get up with all the ponies around you and head up the auditorium steps, following few instructors
>They take you through some long hallways, a few ponies heading into each room along the way
>Finally an instructor open a door in front of you, ushering you, Pen, and a few other ponies inside
>Before you are several chairs seated around a table, some weird goggles at each seat
>”Alright, so this is just going to be a simulation. With some help from these fancy magic utilizing goggles, we’ll run you through some store scenarios, on individual and cooperative settings. Any questions?”
>>25409574
Let's just dive right in
>>25409574
magical scenarios? we've got experience with that.
>>25409632
Now, in this scenario a bat wizard curses you into becoming a bat and ropes you into a hairbrained scheme to stop drugs.
>>25409632
Just don't attack any foals this time.
Probably be bad for our grade.
>Looking around, all the other ponies and Pen are silent
>”Alright, well I guess that we’ll just jump right in!”
>Taking your seats, the instructor gives you a quick rundown on the goggles and how they operate
>-nd with that, you may now put your goggles on. Remember, every move and decision that you make is being watched and scored accordingly”
>Doing as he says you watch as everypony else places theirs on, Pen having a little trouble squeezing it around his head before it pops into place
>Guess it’s time to plug in
>Lifting your hooves, you place the headgear on, the goggles fitting like a glove around you
>All you can see is darkness
>”Ok, now I’m going to turn all of these on. We’ll start with some individual scenarios, so just act responsibly to these situations, and do your best”
>You hear the clipping of his hooves as he walks towards the back of the room before a click is heard, the outside world seeming to disappear
>All you can hear is a faint whirring as the blackness gradually becomes light
>It takes a little bit, but soon you find yourself in a generic looking grocery store, similar to Ponemart
>Looking down at yourself, you sport a work shirt with an official looking loss prevention badge
“Cooool”
>A voice seeming to come from the great beyond boom out of nowhere
>”Now remember to look for suspicious activities. If you fail to deal with the situation accordingly, I’m afraid that it wont look so good on your grade”
>With that, the instructor’s voice cuts out, the sound of the store filling your ears
>Taking a quick peak around, the whole place looks pretty busy, various ponies waiting in lines, the door creaking frequently as customers enter and exit
>These graphic aint half bad, everything looks so real
>>25409914
Guess we gotta be on the lookout for shoplifters.
Try not to racially profile, I doubt that would score well.
>>25409914
using the PA system, announce something generic like 'security, scan section c'. look for a response from the crowd.
otherwise patrol the store and watch for customers who are hovering around departments like candy, HBA, [meat?].
>>25409914
Recall the recognizing suspicious acticity part of the lecture yesterday and look for signs of suspicious activity.
>Looking around, you scan the busy aisles, searching for anything suspicious
>You’re guessing that this is going to be about stopping a shoplifter, since that’s that your entire job is about
>Spotting a PA system, you trot over to it, switching it on
“Security scan, aisles 3-6”
>Quickly you trot across the aisles, attempting to see if anypony seems to be startled or panicked at that statement
>Unfortunately nopony seems to notice, all of them casually shopping as if you didn’t exist
>Hm. Time to switch tactics
>Recalling the suspicious activity training that they gave you yesterday you remember that they did say that the vast majority of shoplifters were young colts and teenagers
>And what do both of them like? Candy
>Looking up at the signs that hang from the ceiling above each aisle, you spot what you’re looking for and head over to that area
>Along the way you remain warry of customer’s around you, examining everyone of them
>But you make sure to take extra care to not look at the bats too long, lest you be accused of racial profiling if they’re watching your performance
>Turning the corner, you end up in the aisle that contains candy
>And immediately spot a youngish looking colt trying to sneakily place packages into his saddle bags
>Walking up behind him, you can only smirk and shake your head
>They’re making this way too easy
>When you make it over, you behind down a little to try to get at eye level with the colt
“Hey there little guy, mind explaining to me what you’re doing?”
>”Fuck off”
>…
>>25410199
>Spotting a PA system, you trot over to it, switching it on
>“Security scan, aisles 3-6”
You don't name an aisle because the thieves know what aisles are which, if you say 'section 3' or something equally vague, then they don't know where you're looking.
Be back in a couple hours
>>25410199
also teenagers and young children are not a majour shoplifting concern. they steal individual products and can be countered by arranging your product so that stuff like candy is in clear line of sight from staff at all times.
The real concern are the resellers who will take dozens of high value products at a time.
----
Don't treat children like you caught them picking their nose, you have to be a clear authority figure. Behave like a teacher. Tell him what you know he did and take control of the situation. Don't ask him to give it back or come with you, tell him.
>>25410199
Come with me.
>>25410199
Tell the colt to put the candy back and to come with you to your office so that you can find his mother or father. What is his name?
This child may require force so levitate him.
>>25410507
Only if he doesn't comply
Update soon
>…What the hell did this little shit just say to you?
“Excuse me?”
>”I’m too busy for you gramps”
“I’m 24!”
>”Screw off”
>No. No you’re not about to argue with a foal. That’s a sure way to fail this simulation
>Time to be firm, it’s the only way
“Come with me. Now”
>”Why?”
“You’re just making this worse for yourself”
>”I don’t care”
>He places another pack of candy in his bag
>Alright, your patience is gone
>Lighting up your horn, your magic revs up, a blow glow engulfing the colt
>In a flash he’s levitating a few feet off the ground in front of you, flailing and yelling
>”H-hey! Put me down!”
“Come on, let’s find your parents”
>”I said put me down! I didn’t do nothing!”
>Ignoring his pleas and threats you start to walk back to where you guess the offices are
>”Look I’ll give the stuff back, ok? I promise!”
“Too late. You’re in for it now. Now where are your parents?”
>”WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FOAL?”
>Turning around a panicked mare comes running up, anger in her eyes
“Look mam’, your son wa-“
>”You put him down!”
>>25411464
Take the candy out of the foals bag then put him down. Tell the mother that as she can see he was trying to take something from the store and you were taking him to the office to announce over the system that you were looking for her.
>>25411464
Giver her the foal. Keep the empty saddlebags.
>>25410251
>tfw Craft knows the inns and outs of store procedure
>>25411531
*Keep the saddlebags
Forgot to delete that 'empty'
>>25411625
You can't prove anything.
>Gently placing the colt down, you yank off his bags with your magic as he scampers behind his mother
>”Just who do you think you are carrying away my son like that? What right do you have to do such a thing?”
>She takes a couple steps forward, pointing an accusing hoof at you
“Look, Mrs. I caught your son in the middle of shoplifting candy from our store”
>”I-it’s not true mom! He’s lying!”
>He starts crying, barely peeking out from behind her
>Rolling your eyes you open up the bags, floating the candy out in front of her
“See? He was caught trying to steal these, so I stepped in to stop him”
>”He’s lying! I was just walking down the aisle”
>”Why do you think it was appropriate to lug his around like that?”
“Miss, I was just taking him to the office so we could announce over the system that we had him and were looking for you”
>”I still don’t understand why you had to hoist my baby into the air like that!”
“Please calm down. He was not complying so I had to bring him with me somehow”
>She takes a couple steps forward
>”You had no right to do that!”
“Well actually according to store procedure I-“
>Your words are cut short as she pulls a bottle out of her bag, stream of hot spray hitting your eyes
“OH MY GOD!”
>Falling backwards you try to wipe the spray off of you, but only succeed in rubbing it in further
>Pulling off the goggles you’re back in the room again, the instructor looking at you concernedly
“Why does it hurt! Why does it still hurt?!”
>”Sometimes the magic can be a little real, it’s a bug we’re trying to fix”
>>25411957
Well that didn't work.
>>25411957
Man, what a shitty mother. Explains the shitty kid though. Ask for milk. At least a lesson was learned. Maintain distance from angry customers. And make sure you carry a bat around the store.
>>25411957
Well, now she gets arrested for assault and the product is safe. we technically won.
>>25412017
A fair point actually. We got maced, but we'll come off the better.
>>25411988
We are not carrying Hype with us into work.
>>25412031
no anon, he ment like this
>>25411988
Yes. Let's ask for some milk to pour into our eyes.
>>25411988
>ask for milk
Wut.
>>25412067
idiots do it because milk counters hot foods and since pepper spray is literally PEPPER spray, they think it will work on their eyes to.
It does work, but not better than water and it brings a chance for infection with it. Since pepper spray wont actually hurt you its probably not worth it even if you only have milk.
>>25412095
But pouring milk into his eyes beacuse he still feels it from a magical simulation sounds like a very stupid and Gar thing to do.
>>25412095
I must have missed the part of health class where they taught us to pour milk in our eyes.
Nah, you get stuff in your eyes, you flush them with water.
>>25412128
It's not taught, it's literally A counters B in circumstance C, therefore A counters B in circumstance D.
Its the kind of thing that sounds reasonable until you give it 5 seconds of thought, in other words: perfect mob wisdom.
>>25412122
This. We're talking about someone who thought it was a good idea to shoot nails out of a revolver.
>>25412167
it worked nigga
“A bug? You call that a bug?! My eyes feel like they’re on fire!”
>”Relax, the effects will wear off in a few seconds, your eyes weren’t actually maced”
“Well they sure feel like it!”
>Rubbing your eyes, they still feel in pain
“I need milk!”
>”… Milk?”
“To stop the burning! Milk stops spicy things!”
>”That’s… not true at all”
“What do you mean? You ever eaten tacos with those stupid peppers in them before?”
>”Mr. Iceon, please just calm down. The effects will wear off soon, I promise”
>Crossing your arms, you pout, trying not to think of the pain
>But sure enough in an instant your eye feel normal again
>”Feeling better?”
“I guess”
>”Good. Now what did you learn about that simulation?”
“Keep your distance from angry customers and watch out for mace”
>”Alright, that’s spot on. Also good job saving the products”
“Well thanks… But now what?”
>He thinks for a moment, looking at a TV off to the side
>”Well, I suppose we could put you in a cooperative scenario with somepony here”
>Looking over you see Penacriss sitting there calmly, his goggles still on firmly
“Can I team up with my friend there?”
>”Him? Well currently he’s in a training scenario at his work, you sure you want to?”
“Of course, I’m curious to see what he really does”
>”Okay then… I guess put your goggles back on”
>You do so, world black again
>>25412448
realize the mistake you made now that its too late.
>”Now word of warning, his exercise is fine tuned to his line of work and is a little more… challenging”
“Yeah yeah whatever. Just hook me up!”
>”Alright then”
>All sound in the room is replaced with that whirring as your vision slowly brightens again
>Soon you find yourself standing on a gravel road
>Quickly peering around, rickety looking steel structures and cables raise up into the air, some sparking occasionally
>Directly to your side is a squat looking concrete shed, rusted barbed wire fences going around it leading to a dilapidated warehouse or something
>A thick smog seems to cover the atmosphere as the only sounds you can hear is an occasional crow cawing and the rustling of trees in the wind
>Where the hell are you?
>>25412475
Find Pen, find a weapon.
>>25412475
I guess head toward that shed?
>Standing still a minute longer, you still attempt to take it all in
>This has got to be a freaking toxic waste dump or something. There’s no way this is just a normal power plant like he claimed
>It takes a while, but you eventually find the power to move, ears swiveling without pause as you creep towards the shed
>Upon reaching it you find that the front gate it unlocked, pushing th barbed wire topped fence open
>Trying the door you find that the shed itself is sealed tight
>As you begin to walk away however, you notice a shovel which you pick up
>It isn’t much of a weapon, but it’ll have to do
>Walking out of the gate you turn onto the gravel road, pebbles crunching under you hooves as you move cautiously down it
>As you keep going you hear some odd sounding cracks in the distance, but you can’t determine from where
>As you follow the road you start to enter a small cluster of industrial buildings, smoke rising out of their tall stacks
>Most of them look solid, only a few broken windows, but damn if they couldn’t stand for a fresh coat of paint
>Just then some wires creak above you as the wind blows through
>Wandering around with the shovel tightly at your side, you look down between this building and that, but see nothing but dry, over grown grass and reddish dirt between them
>You almost consider begging to instructor to take you out of this, but then you hear it
>Someone shouting that strange language Pen speaks
>As you keep going in the direction of the shouting, you start to notice shallow, blackened craters in the dirt, almost as if something scorched it
>Peeking your head around another building, you see a concrete barrier near a road
>With a familiar looking griffon propped behind it
“Hey Pen!”
>”…Gar?”
>As he looks over you see that he’s cradling some scoped rifle, a helmet on his head
>”Gar what are you of doing here! You must of leave, now, They are of coming!”
“They? Who’s they?”
>”كْبِير!”
>...
>>25412870
Too late.
Maybe we'll learn what it feels like to get shot to death.
>>25412870
Run to pen and get behind cover. You're here to help. Tell us what to do.
Pausing here
>>25412956
>What are we gonna do at work today?
>Shut up Hype
>>25412870
Hey neat, we get to burn terrorists.
>>25413016
forgot hypes eye.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzIXW70Ydeg
>>25413044
Pretty sure it's about to be the other way around bud
boop
XXL Chest Fluff Sluts
>>25401462
>Autistic batcancer memes CYOA
>>25416036
Shiny! We were worried.
>>25416014
Unrated!
is it any coincidence that slav bird is removing kebab?
>>25416395
No.
>[Nasheed intensifies]
Where in Equestria would you have to fight Kebabs?
>>25416767
I'm guessing that Pen is part of a defense contractor group
>>25415555
Wonder what it's like to die horribly
>>25417453
We're about to find out anon. Maybe we'll be on some horrific liveleak video that 16 year old colts show their friends to be edgy
Let's hope he has some alcohol with him or something flammable so we can be a living flame thrower.
>They sound of the alien language causes you to spin around a terrifying site before you
>Dozens of black clad bodies surge towards the gate of the complex, screaming various foreign words as they do
>Oh god, Mooselims!
> Already several griffons near the entrance are firing at them, the extremist returning in kind
>As the snap of a bullet whizzes by you your instincts take over and you run towards Pen
>The distance is covered quickly as you sprint, sliding behind the barrier and curling up almost immediately
>Looking up Pen is peering down the scope of his rifle, the weapon kicking every few seconds as shells eject
>This isn’t what you asked for! Pen never said that the power plant was in a war zone!
>A cloud of dust kicks up as the top of the barrier is struck by a bullet, Pen quickly ducking down and cursing
“Pen, what do we do? What’s going on?!”
>”They are of trying to seize the plant, we need to of stop them!”
>”But what do I do?”
>”Just of keep head down! And here, you take this”
>He pulls out a small pistol with a bakelite grip from a holster, which you quickly seize
>As Pen pops up to begin firing again you nearly piss yourself as a rocket or something streaks a few meters overhead, a couple griffons running by soon afterwards
>>25419357
>Mooselims
Shoot, for fuck's sake.
>>25419357
We needed more practice shooting so shoot!
>>25419357
https://youtu.be/KPGyt3ZDv2Y
>>25419485
'Questria!
>>25419485
>>25419357
>mooselims using weapons
>not just muallhu ackbaring the place with hoof bombs
This cyoa is misrepresenting their cultural heritage
What's everyone's favorite nasheeds?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZiV6bmPLfw
>Barely peeking your head around the corner you watch the carnage unfold as bullets continue to randomly whine by
>Multiple lifeless jihadist bodies are already on the road, but they just keep coming, spraying wildly at the guards
>Looking to a barrier a little ways up the griffons start to fall back, leaving a couple of their dead comrades
>Putting your head back around the corner you begin to breath irregularly, body feeling like it’s locking up
>This is the karma you get for leaving edgy comments on liveleak videos
>As your brain tries to comprehend all of the chaos an explosion rocks the ground, Pen beginning to laugh
>”Did you of see that Gar? I of detonated his vest with bullet!”
“G-good job…”
>Well you’re glad that at least one of you is enjoying this
>For a moment you consider letting Pen do all the work, but then your eyes go wide with fear as you see a couple of Mooselims charging towards a building off to your side
>Lifting the gun up, you have to use your magic to aim and fire because of the griffon trigger guard
>Trying to line the sites you momentarily mentally kick yourself for not getting in more target practice before this
>As one of the militants runs past the building you open fire, pulling the trigger 8 times until the slide locks back
>… You missed every shot
>Reaching over you take a couple more magazines the Pen laid out, struggling to put the next one in
>”…Boт дepьмo”
“Wh-what?”
>”We must be of going!”
>Looking up over the barrier your eyes go wide as a chariot speeds towards you, the driver chanting as he hits the accelerator
>>25419831
I don't wanna be blown to smithereens
>>25419831
oh fuck. Run with pen.
>Oh god
>Oh fucking god
>As you watch the vehicle come barreling at your position you feel Pen turn to run beside you, the gravel crunching under his paws as he books it
>Although your brain can barely process it, you at least know one thing
>You don’t want to end up on some video with a nasheed chanting in the background as you explode
>Coming to your senses you turn around, sprinting as fast as your hooves can carry you
>Just as you dark behind a concrete building a massive explosion rocks your world, windows on the building blowing out all around you as shards of glass rain upon the ground
>Hyperventilating you look back around the corner to find that the concrete barrier is gone, replaced with rubble and flaming debris
“That was a close one Pen”
>…
“Pen?”
>You look frantically this way and that, but your friend is missing
>Shit. Where could he have gone?
>You open your mouth the call out to him but you soon shut it
>”قتل غير المؤمنين!”
>”محمد جهاد!”
>…You’ve got to move
>Making sure your gun is reloaded you start to sneak away from the building, hoof steps and sporadic gunfire all around
>After a couple minutes of searching you can’t quite seem to find Pen and decide to hunker down next to what appears to be a storage facility
>Catching your breath you look around, seeing a sign above the building entrance
>квaдpaциклoв >5555
>What does that even mean?
>As you ponder it, a low whining noise causes your ears to perk up
>You look this way and that but can’t find where it’s coming from
>That is until you look down, shadow growing around you
>Slowly looking skywards, you see what’s causing the noise
“IS THAT A FUCKING CARGO PLANE?!”
>Your world flashes into nothing
>Screaming, you pull the goggles off of your head, falling back in your chair and onto the floor
>>25420218
Never forget.
>>25420218
Wait for the shock to wear off.
>>25420218
What a shame.
>You lay there, staring at the ceiling tiles for a while
>For some reason it doesn’t hurt like the last simulation, but that’s probably because your body was turned to ash before you could even feel pain
>As you take deep breaths trying to cope with what just happens, you vow never to make edgy internet posts on jihadist videos ever again
>Soon, a face fills your vision above you
>”Mr. Iceon, are you ok?”
>…
>”Mr. Iceon?”
“I’m f-fine”
>”Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Private military contactor simulations are quite different from shoplift prevention
“I see that now… Thank you”
>”No problem. but tell me… Why the plane?”
>”Oh that was just a random event, it gets triggered if a certain number code comes up. But I must say You lasted a whole five minutes which was impressive”
>Your eyes shift over to the table as a familiar voice pipes up
>”Ah! Was of rigged!”
>Pen takes his goggles off, placing them on the table
>”Was of no fair, you of said no vehicle support!”
>”Sorry bud, be prepared for anything”
>Penacriss sighs, folding his arms in an upset manner
>>25420218
Maintain composure. No need to make a fool out of yourself over a harmless simulation.
>>25420631
So, how much would it cost to get a pair of those goggles for ourselves? Can they be used for more "pleasurable" simulations?
>>25420631
Well alright. Now what do we do? Wait for everyone to finish?
>>25420631
So Pen's a mercenary?
>>25420743
Pen signed up to kill fags like you
>>25420916
A simple yes or no would have sufficed anon.
>>25420685
What you got in mind anon?
>>25421000
I'm sorry, I now see how my actions on the internet can affect others
>Pen mumbles to himself a little, still harboring a displeased look
>Must be a sore loser. But then again you would be too if losing resulted in behind beheaded on camera
>Finally standing up, you walk over to your chair and set it upright, slinking back into it
>A quick look around shows that all the other ponies are still going about their simulations
>Picking up the goggles that you were wearing, you take a good look at them, studying their features
“Soooo, uh… What all simulations can these goggles preform?”
>”These? Oh these are good for just about anything, it just takes a little know how to get them to work though”
“Well… Can you like set them for something pretty specific?”
>”What do you have in mind?”
“Something more… pleasurable?”
>His face contorts into one of ‘are you serious nigga?’
>”Yes, they can be set to sexual scenarios”
>Your mouth opens into an extremely exciting smile
>”No, we will not let you use them for that”
>Damn
“… How much one of these cost?”
>”A couple thousand. You’re better off finding a prostitute son”
>Oh well, worth a shot
>”Alright, while we wait for these guys to finish up, you too can sit on one of the benches outside”
>You agree, Pen following wordlessly as you gently shut the door behind you
>A second later and you’re both propped up on the bench
“So, you’re a mercenary huh?”
>”What? Where you of get such a crazy idea, mercenaries are of illegal! I am defense contractor, is totally different”
>>25421093
How's it pay, at least? Worth the constant chance of death?
>>25421093
How long have you been doing it? How'd you get into it?
“Ok then ‘Mr. Contractor’… How’d you even get into a job like that?”
>”I was of marksman in Griffonian army. Until party suspected me of capitalist sympathies that is. I snuck way out of country and eventually came here”
“And that’s when you started?”
>”Yes. There was of not much more that I knew how to do, and I was of used to conditions anyway. You of know how life is in griffon industrial city? Battlefield is of much healthier for you”
“Well how long you been doing this anyway?”
>”Hmmm… About three years. But does not of seem like that long”
“And the pay’s good, right? At least enough to risk your life for?”
>”Pay is of excellent, is of finest that third world nations and corporation cans offer. Plus the travel is of free!”
>Oh boy, free travel to the middle of a desert
“So what was up with those Mooselims? Those guys give you trouble?”
“Eh, from time to time. They of want to expand caliphate, but it keeps us employed, you of know?"
Done for the night. Any quick questions?
>>25421514
Any chance of these private security providers implementing cyborgs anytime soon?
>>25421514
What is your favourite flavour of icecream?
>>25421528
Cyborgs are no replacement for drunken Slav birds
>>25421529
Can't beat mint chocolate chip
>>25421514
If you could get any drawfag from cyoa to draw something for the quest, who would it be and what would you have them draw?
>>25421558
Really though, you ever try mango-flavored ice cream? It's actually pretty good.
Also mango-banana smoothies.
And mangoes.
>>25421558
What kind of pony would you want to be?
>>25421586
Probably Hijacker, I love the way he makes expression. As for what, I have no clue, but a anime poster with Shade would be funny
>>25421601
Anon pls
>>25421625
>Anon pls
No, I'm actually serious. Mango ice cream is really good.
>>25421614
Whichever one got to experience Ornithea's birthing hips
>>25421632
I agree that mangoes are a god tier fruit, not even memeing
>>25421664
You follow any other CYOAs besides M&M?
>>25421664
>Ornitheafags
>>25421625
>anime shade by hijacker.
God I never knew how much I needed that in my life.
>>25421695
I tune into Hijack, sometimes Alchemy
>>25421699
back the fuck off?!?!
legs fucking suck.
>>25422686
TAKBIR
boop
>Mooselims
>>25423567
>You drew a picture of allah eh?
Im gonna have to behead you for that... Sorry
>>25424714
We should buy a gas mask.
>>25425641
Gar would probably forget to buy unused filters for it.
>>25425641
but why?
>>25426261
We should be ready for anything anon. Have you learned nothing from the seminar?
>>25426585
Then carry a towel, who needs a gasmask?
>As Pen tells you more about his contracting job and it’s highlights the door to the room opens up, the instructor and the rest of the ponies coming on out
>”Alright, you’re all free to go now, the ponies in the auditorium should be letting out soon. But anypony got questions?”
>An earth pony mare next to you raises a hoof
>”So, what exactly is this test tomorrow going to be like?”
>”It won’t be that bad, trust me. All it’s over is just the stuff that we’ve taught you over the past couple of days plus a couple of critical thinking portions. Before you know it all of you will be certified”
>You aren’t much one for passing tests, but if he says you’ll all be fine then you shouldn’t worry too much about it
>Just have to remember to watch out for mace attacks on duty and you should be ok
>With that the instructor dismisses all of you and guides you back to the lobby, the babbling of ponies letting out of their classes greeting you
>”So now what?”
“I guess we find Hype”
>”No need…”
“Oh hey Hyp-… What happened to you?”
>He winces a bit as he lightly touches the bandage on his leg
>”I ran inside and slipped on an ice cube…”
>>25427001
Best get you to Weenie Hut General.
>>25427001
Well, we've got good news. Pen here is part gypsy and thinks he might be able to help you out.
>>25427001
Why did you run inside? We weren't late when we started going to class. Let's go back to the hotel room where it's safe for him. And there's also a phone.
>>25427023
I need a picture of hype at weenie hut general stat
>You and Pen look at each other with a confused expression before responding
“Why did you run inside? We weren’t late to class or anything”
>”I guess I was just excited to learn and take my mind off of what happened at the amusement park today”
“Well… do you need to go somewhere? There’s a place open that can help weenies like you”
>”I-I am not a weenie!”
>”You of seem like one to me”
“Relax Hype, we’re just pulling your leg. But hey, guess what? We’ve got some good news!”
>”What’s that?”
“Well me and Pen were talking, and apparently he’s part Gypsy and might be able to help you out with your curse”
>Hype’s eyes flash in excitement, snapping his head up to Pen
>”Really? You might be able to fix me?”
>”I will of try my best, I promise. Curses are tricky things though”
>”And… This is going to be safe, right?”
>”As safe as curse removal can of be!”
>”Well… I guess it can’t hurt to try”
>”Excellent! Come, we must of head back to hotel and start!”
>Penacriss begins to plow his way through the crowd with excitement, ponies jumping to get out of his way as he does
>After a brief glance at each other you and Hype follow in the wake he left
>Walking into your hotel room Pen instructs Hype to sit on his bed before digging through a bag of his
>”Psst… Gar”
“Yeah?”
>”I’m not too sure of this… Promise me you won’t let him go overboard”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!”
>”Ah! Here we of go!”
>Pen shoves a large bottle of vodka into Hypes hooves
>”You must of drink whole thing, quickly!”
>>25427421
Don't worry, he promised you'd get to keep your balls.
Now drink up.
>>25427421
Is this preparation for some kind of ritual? What is it?
>>25427421
A pony drinking a whole bottle of Vodka? That would be enough to kill him.
“Uh, Pen?”
>”Yes?”
“He has to drink that whole thing?”
>”Yes, it is of necessary”
“Pen that could kill him, look at the size of that bottle!”
>”Do not of worry, I of know what to do. Hype here will be of just fine”
>”I… I don’t kno-“
>”Shhhh, of no more talking. Now is time for drinking”
>Hype nervously glances at you, to which you nod a bit
“It’s ok Hype, I’ll make sure nothing happens. Besides, he promised that you could keep your balls at the end of this”
>”… I, o-okay”
>Slowly he twists off the cap of the bottle, holding it up to his lips
>Knocking his head back he takes a mouthful of it, coughing as he swallows
>”Is a little strong, but you will of get used to it”
>”If you say so”
>Hype begins to drink again
“So Pen. Is this some kind of ritual?”
>”You could of call it that. It is just way to expel curse”
“I get that, but what exactly are we going to do”
>”Patience Gar, you will be of seeing soon”
>You contently accept his answer, as you know that you’ll never be able to convince him to tell you anyway once his mind is set to it
>The next 30 minutes consist of you two intently watching Hype slowly drain the bottle, his eyes looking more glazed by the minute as he body sways
>Eventually he collapses back onto the bed with a *pomf*
>”Hype, can you of hear me?”
>”Ughhh…”
>”Of good. Is time for next step”
>Pen reaches over into his bag once more, digging around
“Now Pen, how exactly are we going to- Oh my god!”
>The griffon retrieves a revolver from his luggage
“What is that thing?”
>”Is of Nagant, father of used it in war”
>Without another word he places the gun in Hype’s hoof as the bat groans a little
>”I think we are of ready”
>>25427723
Alright, that's happening. Keep watching then. That thing isn't loaded is it?
>>25427723
ready for what exactly?
>You watch in disbelief as Pen merely gives the nearly passed out Hype the weapon like it’s no big deal
>This is happening you suppose…
“So… That gun, it isn’t loaded right?”
>”Of course it is of loaded! Is very essential to have bullets in gun”!
“Pen, I really don’t think that this is a goo-“
>”Hey, who is professional here?”
“I mean you, but a loaded gun with a drunk pony is just asking for trouble”
>”You must of calm nerves Gar, everything is of ok. Now, we must continue though”
“Continue with what?”
>”Breaking the curse Gar, have you not been of paying attention?”
>Pen stands up, walking to the other side of Hype before putting talon on his forehead
>Hype groans a bit in response, but soon relaxes, the alcohol working it’s effects
>”Now Gar, no matter what of happens, you must not freak out, ok?”
“If you say so Pen”
>The griffon nods, satisfied with your answer as he leans down next to Hype’s ear
>”Mы нaчaли”
>Pen begins to whisper strange words into Hype’s ear, words that you don’t even think are in his native tongue
>Hype seems rather relaxed, appearing to have totally blacked out since the start of the ritual
>After a few minutes Pen stands back up, patting the bat gently on the head before walking over to you
>”Now we must of find cover”
“What? Why?”
>In the background you see Hype’s hoof quickly jolt up, pointing the gun directly at the wall
>>25428181
>Pen is actually doing the same thing we suggested by getting Hype to contact the Gypsy in his dreams
>Hype is now murdering the Gypsy.
Take cover, hope the boss doesn't ask why he didn't get his security deposit back.
>>25428181
This is what you get for trusting griffins. Duck and cover I guess. Or hide in the bathroom tub.
>>25428181
It's going to look really suspicious when we leave now.
>>25428329
It's okay, Hype pulls the trigger, he has to pay for the hole in the wall.
>>25428181
There isn't another room behind that wall, is there? Try pointing him towards the exterior wall if that's the case.
>>25428343
With magic.
“Shit!”
>You leap behind the bed as you duck and cover, Penacriss doing the same next to you
“Pen what the hell is going on?!”
>”He is removing witch”
>This is what you freaking get for trusting a griffon to handle anything rationally
>You place your hoof around your ears, squeezing your eyes shut expecting the onslaught of gunfire
>But after a minute of silence you cautiously lower your hoofs, confused
>Looking up, Pen is barely peeking over the bed, watching
>Figuring that it’s at least safe enough to follow suit, your eyes raise up and poke over the mattress
>Hype is still pointing the gun at the wall opposite of his bed
>Oh god, there’s another room there!
>Lighting up your magic faster than you ever have before you encompass his hoof in it, steering the gun to point at the bathroom wall
>Letting go, his aim remains there
>Sighing in relief, your ears soon perk up as you hear Hype mumbling
“Pen, what’s going on?”
>”He is of talking to witch”
>”Y-you think I’m cute?... But at the bar you said-… W-well no, I think that you’re cute too…”
>”Oh for god’s sake, she is of trying to talk way out of this”
>Looking back Hype still lightly talks to himself
>”Actually, I’m kind of sorry for pestering you earlier, and if it’s ok-“
>”Shoot cyka, shoot! She is of trying to trick you!”
>Pen begins shouting in that weird language that he whispered to Hype in
>>25428798
Remember the amusement park, Hype!
>>25428798
Use magic to squeeze the trigger.
Hype is too innocent for this. Our hoofsies are already stained with blood, what's another for the pile?
>>25428798
She nearly killed you with her curse! Multiple times!
>>25428798
I dunno, as much as she's a witch, murder still doesn't seem right.
>>25428863
She tried to murder him just for being a pastamancer.
Only fair to kill her for being a witch.
>>25428892
>pastamancer.
damn it
“H-he has to kill her?”
>”Da, is of only way!”
>You shoot your glance back to Hype, the gun still firmly in hoof, but not looking like he’s about to fire it
>For a second you consider talking Pen into reconsidering the whole thing. You mean, She can’t really deserve death right?
>But then you remember the amusement park, and the fact that she did all that to him just because he was socially awkward trying to ask her out
“Do it Hype! Remember the theme park!”
>Hype’s hoof begins to shake, his voice sounding more distressed
>”I… I don’t want to do this to you. Please don’t make me”
>”Hype of pull trigger! She is lying witch!”
“Do what he says Hype!”
>”I… I…”
>You see the hammer on the revolver start to ease back, but soon falling back into position
>He can’t bring himself to do it
>Thinking quickly your magic glows around the trigger
>Hype make be too innocent for this, but you’ve already got your hoofsies stained with blood
>This must be done
>Pulling with your magic a flash bursts in front of you, the only thing you can hear is an EEEEE sound
>But the revolver drops out of Hype’s hoof, his body going still once more
>>25429222
So... Is it done?
>>25429222
Check with Pen if its safe, then go check on Hype.
I want to know what trick the witch was doing.
>>25429222
Let's hope the curse didn't transfer to us for doing that. The last thing we need is another pony in our head.
>>25429525
Then it'll also be Shade's problem.
>>25429525
Maybe we shouldn't have pulled the trigger then.
You know, just a few days ago, Gar would have lept at this chance to be free of Shade.
>>25429525
Lets hope we don't get herpes from killing her.
>You wait a few seconds before moving, just to make sure that Hype isn’t going to start shooting again
“… Is it done?”
>”I of think so. He seems at peace”
>Both of you finally stand up and walk around the bed, cautiously approaching the motionless bat
>Immediately Pen seizes the revolver, popping open the loading gate and ramming the empty shell out
>”Ah, Nagant eliminates another cyka from world. Is good day”
“If you say so Pen”
>Diverting your attention to Hype, your friend seems to be stirring somewhat, little moans escaping his lips
“Hype? Hype can you hear me?”
>He remains still
>Vodka must have done a number on him
“Hype you there bud?”
>”Ugh”
>Oh good, he’s alive
“How you feeling buddy?”
>”I uh… feel funny…”
>He’s sluring his words pretty badly
“Well did yo-“
>”Did you of kill witch?”
>”Eh”
“Hype what does that mean?”
>He shakes his head a couple times
>”She… she said I’ma regret this”
>”What? You did of shoot her, yes?”
>”Nah. Missed. She seemed pissed”
Nice job you idiots. I can't believe I took a nap and you managed to fuck up this badly.
>>25430275
See? That's why you don't trust Witches. If you had let her go she'd have still screwed you. So, uh... Stick with pen when I leave tonight. Don't go anywhere without him.
>>25430275
Pen. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe you should have told us what was going to happen? I guess Hype's double fucked now. Do you have any more methods of removing curse?
>>25430275
next time you fall asleep tell her that it was all pen. he said he had to kill you and you didn't have any control over your body.
time to sell him up the river.
Time for some required reading.
Also never listen to pen again for ANYTHING.
>We trusted a slav to be competent when we could have just waited and had murderbat deal with it
>>25430409
This is actually our fault because we could have just sat back and waited to see if the witch would take the curse off him herself or not. This is why you don't fuck with the people that have power over you.
>Slowly you glare over t Pen who shifts his eyes to return your gaze
>He gives you s concerned smirk
“Pen. Did you ever consider maybe telling us what was about to happen?”
>”I mean, did not seem so important. All Hype had to do was hit her”
“We should have just let Hype talk to her, he seemed like he was doing fine”
>”But then she could have escaped! You do not of want angry witch to get away”
“But Pen that’s exactly what just happened”
>He pauses for a sec, placing a talon on his chin as he looks at the floor
>”Oh…”
“Alright look, Hype you still there?”
>”Mhm…”
“Next time you fall asleep just tell her that it was all Pen’s fault, and that you had no control over your body, ok?”
>”Can do”
“And uh… stick close to Pen tonight. Don’t listen to a word he says, but just stick close”
>”Eh”
>”I am of sorry, I thought that he would of hit her”
“Well he didn’t. How much trouble is he in now?”
>”I do not of know, some witches are of kinder than others”
“Well please, at least tell me that you have another idea of how to remove the curse”
>"...Uh"
>Pen holds a talon up, reaching into his bag
>A second later another vodka bottle is tossed next to Hype
>”Of drink up!”
>”Ughhhh…”
>>25430576
Just double fuck my shit up senpai.
Let's just go the fuck to sleep and ask Shade what the fuck should we do now.
>>25430576
Jesus christ, really pen? Give hype a break. Though he will have to drink and try to talk to the witch immediately because he can at least explain what happened. Also hype imagine an empty room with just you and the mare in it.
>>25430576
Pen...
>>25430311
To be fair, I did say, and I quote: "I dunno, as much as she's a witch, murder still doesn't seem right."
Slav slavving it up
“Pen…”
>”Yes?”
“I mean come on man, just look at Hype! There’s no way that he could drink anymore of that stuff”
>Pen looks down at Hype, poking him gentle on the face to which he pitifully moans
>”Maybe you are of right”
“I knew that it wasn’t right to try to murder her, I just knew it. But no, we just had to shoot at her Pen”
>”I did not know that he would of miss! And is traditional way to of deal with witch!”
“I know, I know. Just… give me a second to think”
>Sitting down on your bed you idly watch as Pen gathers his bottle, placing it back in his bag
>There’s got to be another way…
>Looking at the clock it’s around 5 PM
>Maybe Shade would be able to help you if you fell asleep? He must know how to deal with this since he does it every night
Pausing here
>>25430846
we're missing family reunion time for this. i don't want to drink to fall asleep, or get punched. we could try to fall asleep by ourselves though I'm not sure we're tired right now.
we could ask shade if he has a spellbook of curses and if there is one for making a stallion never have sex?
>>25430846
Nope, we've done what we can, it's time to go to family.
sexy witch beb
>>25430846
we dont want pen to know we can fall asleep to contact someone, so we should head to the parents. maybe call a cab and sleep in it.
>>25431697
Looking pretty good Pen.
Time to make a phone call.
>>25432197
Doing what he does best
Floral and Pen should fugg
>>25435565
Floral should fuck everyone in Equestria
>Multiculturalism
>Mooselim raids
>President Obata
what kind of apocalyptic world has Equestria fallen into?
>>25436235
Everything changed when the medusa attacked canterlot.
>>25436255
>at the end of this Gar gets no praise or recognition for what he's done because his brother eclipses him yet again
>>25436274
Recognition for what Gar has done so far would be a prison cell.
>>25436274
>"Well Gar, looks like we did it. Drugs should no longer be a problem, and-"
>"GUYS, THE MEDUSA IS DEAD, THE PRINCESSES HAVE RETURNED!"
>>25436299
>Mom, dad, guess what? I saved Baltimare!
>That's nice dear, but your brother just got home, and he save the entire country!
>>25436298
>Gar would get a prison cell
>Anonguard would get the gallows
Why do we always have to fight against the man?
>>25437172
because the mans keeping us down, man
I want to boop Gar's ponut.
>>25438494
Lewd
Page 10
So when are we going to give those jewels to Ast?
>>25440253
>JEWels
>>25440253
on the double date.
Have to up the ante on Shade to make him go all-in on Floral.
>>25441048
Oh, he'll be going all in alright
>On second thought though, you’re missing out on visiting your family for this
>And although leaving Hype’s live in the hooves of a crazy witch may seem selfish, reunion time comes first
“Look, I’ve got to visit my parents soon. Pen do you think that you could look for a solution?”
>”Yes, of course”
“ One that doesn’t involve drinking or firearms?”
>”…I will of look into it”
“Good. Hype, you… you just hang in there”
>”Ughhh, okay”
>You can still ask Shade for a professional opinion later tonight, but first thing’s first
>Got to make it to your parents
>Walking out of the room as Pen places a picture over the bullet hole in the wall you find yourself in the lobby as you head down stairs
>Picking up the pay phone you quickly dial your parent’s number, the phone ringing a few times before a familiar voice breaks over it
>”Hello?”
>>25441165
Should you come over now? If yes then go to your parents house. Should you buy anything at the grocery store since you're on the way there?
>>25441165
Can we dial our apartment while we're at it? To check on the Breezies?
>>25441165
You mind if I stop by?
“Hey dad, it’s me again”
>”Gar! How are you doing?”
“I’m fine dad. I was actually just calling to see if I should come over tonight”
>”Of course, we made dinner for you! Come on by as soon as you can”
“Oh, well that I can do. It’s about an hour drive though”
>”That’s fine, we’ll be waiting”
“You need me to go to the store and bring anything? anything at all?”
>”Nope, we’ve got everything we need for dinner right here. Now hurry on up and get your flank over here”
“Alright dad, tell mom that I’ll be home soon”
>”I’ll be sure to”
>Both of you say a quick goodbye
>He sounded like he was in a hurry. Probably scrambling to make the house as tidy as possible
>Hanging the phone up, you pick it up and place it to your ear again, dialing a new number
>Time to see what those little fools are up to
>Punching in your apartment’s phone, you listen in as it continues to ring
>After a while your messaging machine begins to play
>’Hello, this is Gar’
>…Is that Stagle speaking?
>’I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m a big loser. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to it as soon as I return from my dead end job’
>*BEEP*
“…You two are in so much trouble”
>As the message recorder continues to play to hear crackling from the other end, like somepony trying to take the phone off of the hook
>A couple seconds later there’s a bang as the phone clatters unto the table, a tiny voice coming over it
>”Uh, h-hey there Gar”
>>25441566
How's the apartment? And what have you been doing, besides changing my voicemail?
>>25441566
Thanks for ruining my awesome voice mail I had before which was you singing "believe it or not gar isn't at home so leave a message at the beep."
>>25441566
Honestly I'm just glad they're using voicemail instead of answering the phone for us.
and that the apartment must still be intact enough for the phone to function.
Not even mad.
>>25441609
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
Where could I be?
“Thanks for recording over my voice mail you little freak”
>”Gar, don’t be mad. Your last one was just so boring, I mean come on. ‘Believe it or not Gar isn't at home so leave a message at the beep’? We were just telling ponies the truth”
“Whatever. At least you’re not answering the phone for me It wouldn’t be good if somepony was trying to reach me and some breezies randomly came over the line”
>”Don’t worry, we’ve been keeping a low profile here”
“Really now? So what condition is the apartment in?”
>”It’s uh… A little messy. But not damaged, I swear”
>Hey, it must be intact enough for the phone to still work, so at least there’s a plus
“It better not be. Or you two are going to get it when I get back home”
“It’s fine here, we promise! We’ve been keeping everything in order. Well, the best that we can”
>>25441918
Well, I don't have much time to talk right now, just checking in, so I'll so you when I get back.
Then onwards to parents.
>>25441918
You better clean anything up before I get back tomorrow.
>>25441918
If they want to tell ponies the truth then they should add to the message that you're a kind and compassionate pony since you're taking care of their breezie asses.
Well then take care of yourselves. Let's go.
