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That was stupid.
That was fun. Made me feel a little anxious but more is definitely necessary. Kind of a let down. Nigga shoulda answered that phone. Shit
>>17765394
I agree, this is like the introduction or prologue to a good sci-fi book.
Now I want Chapter One to begin.
Someone finish this!
Someone have the guy go back and answer the phone!
>>17767514
That will only be the beginning.
>>17764125
Nice want more though
No one is asking the really important question.
Who was phone?
I actually just wrote out a couple of rough pages of how this could continue.
I'm not going to post it because I'm not happy with it, really kind of struggling to go anywhere with it.
My idea however... the protagonist gets friendly with the maintenance guy, his superior, I called him Joe because it's a massive cliche name. They go for smoke breaks up on the roof and our hero starts peering over the edge every day, trying to see if anything can be seen from outside but all looks normal down on the 24th.
He starts to get a little obsessed, the elevator button starts to stare at him every time he's in there. The display above the doors, counting through the floors seems to linger a little too long on 24 before moving past. His mind becomes a little fucked by curiosity.
That's as far as I got but I'm losing interest in the story as I'm struggling to do anything really original with the whole phone thing. I wanted him to go back and hear voices, "He did it he did it he did it" kind of thing, then finds out Joe burned the office and everyone inside or something, but that doesn't make sense, or Joe's a smoke demon who drags our protagonist to his smoke kingdom on the other line...
But really these ideas seem very pathetic to me. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and this doesn't feel original enough for me, I'm not confident in my ability to post it unless people are really, really interested in it.
Anyway I had a nice writing exercise with it so whoever came up with this, thanks for that. It's a good beginning to something for sure.
>>17764125
The best horror stories have at least semi-explanations to why things are the way they are, in a way that increases the creepy factor, like that creepypasta about the keyhole.
>>17767820
Maybe there's a demon, or some kind of creature sealed within the 24th floor, and this is the story of how the protagonist releases him. You could even have the phone be someone trying to warn him, or trying to tempt him into releasing it. You could also have someone come in and check the seals, Joe's obviously afraid of him, and he could drop some cryptic hints or something. Like it so far though!
