/x/, you're the only board who I feel could answer this question.
For a very long time now I've been getting a unique and almost enigmatic feeling, It starts off by me thinking about reality and existence and what i am experiencing, almost as if i zoom out from what i am looking at, which in turn makes me visualise zooming out of the universe.
From this point i come to some profound and incredible realisation, only i dont know what it is. My mind and stomach physically hurt as if i am on the brink of transcending or discovering somthing im not meant to know. As in, my brain physically cannot handle the knowledge. the pain is like a sick feeling and the realisation feels as if reality is about to unravel, or that i have somehow figured out a cosmic secret.
Then i just completely forget the train of thought. it immediatly disappears. I then cant get back into the thought for a few months, it takes time and concentration for me to think those things again.
Does anyone know what this is? It's been happening to me since i was around 16 and I am now 24. anyone had something similar?
Me, but it didn't hurt. I extended it further. I came to the essence of this realization. It is ' Define yourself without conceptions '.
>>17534938
OK, so where do i go from here? How do i prevent the pain?
Also, can you go more into the 'define yourself without conceptions', what do yo mean?
>>17534872
I suggest seeing a professional
take your fuckin thorazine faggot
>>17534952
Just forget everything you had been taught, (languages, systems, beliefs).
Then express yourself at the core.
>>17534872
I kind of know what your talking about and have wondered what to call that feeling. For me the terms depersonalization, ego death and even body horror have all come to mind.
>>17534983
feelings are still ego, idiot
>>17534979
Yeah kind of like that. They are glimpses of self-remembering, glimpses of your "self", I've read about it been on this path for a while and have felt similar experiences, but I would not try to think too much about it the mind wanders a lot and is a roadblock itself. Just observe yourself and study yourself and in time you'll understand and true knowledge is graced from above which is really within and vice versa.
>>17534979
easier said then done. In a world that is surrounded by language, systems and beliefs, a world which we are all saturated in, how am i supposed to just forget everything?
>>17535001
Don't use them while defining that what you call 'Me'
>>17535001
Yeah in sense cause you already know it you have just forgotten, believe in yourself don't pay mind to outside influences.
>>17535025
>>17535040
So how will that help me understand the feeling i get and stop it? How will it allow me to understand the thoughts and be able to get past this barrier i always come across.
>>17534989
That's why I said come to mind. It's a feeling or altered state I've experienced several times in my life that comes with physical sensations like OP describes. I'm not familiar with an easily relatable term to describe the experience or "feeling"
Don't let me stop you from getting off on feeling intellectually superior though, I'm sure you're a lot smarter than me and have a lot to say on the subject.
>>17535046
This should help.
>>17534999
>>17534983
Have you ever managed to get past the feeling at all? If so, what happened?
If not, do you forget about the thoughts like i do? Tell me about your experiences, if you can. I've tried to explain this to friends but i haven really come across anyone who has felt this before.
>>17535046
You will go through the obstacle by the different angle.
>>17534872
Now I speak about a secret which keeps itself.
Is this in range of your understanding?
If such a secret were to be found it would immediately cease to exist alltogether.
It is a "turning inside out".
Now the psychophysical organisation is tied together in such a way, that if there would occur a radical change of perception, a radical change of all other mechanicals of such an organisation would occur aswell. So much for your pain.
You cannot look into your own eyes without a mirror.
A fire does not burn itself.
A knife does not cut itself.
You are playing with yourself.
>>17535099
This actually helps a lot and makes sense. Removes the engimatic sense of it all though. Still, I wonder if what I am feeling could really be understood, despite what you've said.
Thank you
>>17535099
>99 checked
>>17535131
tits or gtfo caitlin
>>17535126
Enigma.
Everybody always loves enigma.
A burning interest in the Interesting, flames from the woods of the bored, the boring and of boredom.
What I have said does not exlude the possibility of understanding.
"What you are feeling" can be understood if you understand what you are feeling.
Examine the feeling. It is the feeling you must understand first.
Understand Feeling
Stand under Feeling
And when has your feeling ever betrayed you.
Probably whenever you have betrayed your feeling.
Nobody here can tell you what you want to know. Probably you do not even know yourself what you want to know.
If you want to know truth, know yourself.
>>17534872
Sounds like that one Thomas ligotti story. Forgot the name but its about a guy who has a heart attack and when he recovers he believes that he had lost his humanity and identity and become one with the cosmic forces controlling his body.
>>17535126
Having said that (>>17535145 and >>17535099)
I feel like relating a rather personal story to you and to all who may read.
I know exactly this state aswell as many other similar or disimilar states as I am one who has traveled far and wide to seek all kinds of state, and in particlar, a state which one could call "The Basic State".
I have felt, that not just just I, but my fellow man have in time sort of lost one of their senses.
A most precious sense with which one "feels" this "Basic State". In other words, to see reality as it is. Clearly, without a clouded mind, without a mirror infront of your eyes.
As you say, and as I have come to known as "conforming to Law", it takes time for you to reach this point, this state of which you speak.
It is as if you travel from one "basic state" to an elevated plane, accompanied by elevated activity/intensity/vividness of awareness.
Do you, by chance, see anything of which I speak of?
Anyone here?
Not your body travels, but something that people call "I".
The mind travels. It goes somewhere, it returns somehow.
I can continue.
Interesting.. this used to happen to me (without the pain) when I was drifting off to sleep. It started when I was maybe four years old and ended when I was.. oh, 9 or 10 maybe? I actually forgot about it until I read this post, maybe I should try focus on that old familiar feeling the next time I'm going to bed and see what happens.
>>17535228
Please do, I think you're referring to exactly what I was trying to verbalise and what I've been feeling all of this time. The only difference is for some reason unknown to me, my mind rejects it once I get to a certain point.
My thoughts are very intense and vivid, they are not things i can describe or even attempt to recreate in a relaxed state such as now. So I understand what you mean.
Please continue.
>>17535267
As I have said, I have spend a long time, a very very intense time finding a way to express this while I experience it.
The pain you refer to comes and goes with this experience. Something inside changes. As if one would turn on a light.
In Chemistry it is also well known, that light plays a role in many processes. Some function only in darkness, or absence of light, while others work only when exposed to light.
We are machines. Many machines that make up one whole. As in "Microcosm Macrocosm" which has been used in Alchemy, all these machines making up one big machine. Also further down the same road, the transformation of this machine.
Transformation through consciousness (not "of" consciousness which so many believe).
In plain english.
Perception, Awareness, Attention, Consciousness plays a big role in how the body works. If one thing is changed, everything is changed.
This is why hypnosis works.
This simply is an altering of Breath, Blood Pressure, Focus, Attention, Consciousness.
Maybe you see, that I call out these 6 things in a definite way.
Going from the densest/biggest to the finest/smallest factor playing a role in the experience which is "Being a Human"
All these things make up a "state" in which "I" find myself living my life right now.
Ofcourse, drugs are well known to alter such a State, but also various practices which can be found all over the world everywhere at all times will do so.
It is well known in certain parts of india, that physical pain can be cured by a change of perception. By a change of blood pressure. Hypnosis.
So and so, vice versa it is the same thing, only topsy-turvy.
You are looking for something.
By wanting to explain it you see, that you cannot. It is something that happens inside you.
The body is a great machine with many possibilities. But we do not know who we are. And so all of this is of no use.
It can only be of use to somebody who wishes to know.
I will continue.
>>17535332
Please, continue
>>17535332
The way you write down I recognize, that you do not really know who you are.
Don't know what it is all about.
One man once said:
If you knew you would not ask.
The words you use indicate to me, that you have already had contact with one or more established "helpers", means to come by an understanding of what you are experiencing.
I have to ask some questions like
Do you seek something?
Why do you seek?
Where is the source of the arising of this desire to seek this something?
When we cut it down to the basic I say, that you are experiencing yourself.
This is a very ordinary and basic sounding sentence that I use, is it not?
But then again, this machine has many possibilities. There are many many things that can be learned, and still today.
Hardly anyone does so, however. Nowadays you read up on the internet and consider yourself awakened solely by adopting what somebody else has said.
I said that I am a traveler. By intention I am so because I have once come across an experience like yours, and I was asking for more.
And I found more. Only is this not the place to talk about such things in an indept way.
All that I can tell you now is, that you can continue your search. Only maybe in a different, less self destructive way.
You hurty yourself by trying to look at yourself like this. One day you will twist your neck or damage your eyes with practices like this.
And I speak of internal practices, as you might be able to taste by the way I say it.
>>17534872
i ones had and experience
around 9 or 10 years ago
were in and this is the only way i can explain it.
half a dream half awake., i remmember
being realy dizzy and sleepy, because i
was going through a hard time in my life
with isolation, that i looked out of my window
one morning, maybe it was a hallucination
or maybe it really was something different.
perhaps like a message from, some E.T
is the best way i can recreate this memory.
Like they wanted me to see this.
and what i saw was a huge mothership
spaceship outside my window. hovering
a couple meters over the land.
i remmember it had sorter a big wheel on the side. and the experience was paranormal.
like i was really experiencing this, and it wasnt
a dream i was so uplifted and had same
feeling as op.
like a contact from another dimention
that gave me secret information
my life today 10 years later is still very weird.
im still very alone and my life is very complicated maybe i was truly in contact
with something i today my self is having
difficult both explaning and understanding.
also 22 years ago i were in and accident
were i might have had another E.T
contact.At the time were i saw the mothership i remmeber telling my self never to forget this episode ever. because it had a really big effect on me and i still think back to the time . very often
>>17534872
its the dance of life, sometimes your on-beat and sometimes you off
>>17534872
You've just experienced another dimension, I suggest concerning physical pain to move towards a fruitarian diet as slowly as needed.
>>17535001
>how am i supposed to just forget everything?
-dancing
-chanting
-drumming
-running
-washing dishes
-2048
these all work great for me. ymmv but it's worth a shot
>>17534872
>>17534872
I know the feeling I have as a child thought a lot about infinity and philosophy and the universe.
i understand true infinity at a age of 5
the world formula at a age of 17
what consciousness really is, what death really is at a age of 18
and aslo time
if you really discover the truth of your own existance nothing really matters, no construct of normal life matters anymore it's like a shock
after i take drugs at a age of 20, I was not able to hiding the truth did I had found the emotional shock was too great and I developed a strong Derealization and Depersonalization
i dont want to trigger somone
or say thad i am intelligent, in fact in Preddy dump i got n iq of 70
but i got Existential Intelligence
I have only one suggestion, just think no more thoughts on this.
do not take psychedelic drugs They Can fuck people like us up
enlighten my brother>>17534872
>>17534958
Kill yourself immediately.
It's impossible to explain the unexplainable. Words to a wordless book. One mustn't stop practicing this practice. Keep feeling this feeling and you will transcend time and space.
Astral Projection
