How would I go about making a friendship with a demon?
Summon a demon.
1) bathe, this shows respect to the demon you're summoning.
2)sit in a dark room with a black or red lit candle
3)concentrate and say a prayer to lucifer, ask him to send you a demon
4) you will know the demon is near when the candle you lit begins to flicker
DEMONS ARE JUST PARTS OF YOUR SUBCOUNSCIOUS YOU TRICK YOURSELF INTO BELIEVING ARE AUTONOMOUS ANON
PLUS DEMONS ARE NEGATIVITY ORIENTED
YOU'RE ALSO A FAGGOT
>>17533640
Is strawberry scented okay?
>>17533623
How fucking lonely are you? Go out and get a real friend anon.
bad idea bromeister, why not buddy up with an angel - edgelords aside, archetypal forces make better friends than astral vermin - but then again this is a matter of semantics and terminology that can easily go very autistic
>>17533735
interesting move, mods, but i'd rather remain anon if that'll please your highnessesses
>>17533746
oh yes the april fools. dont mind me folks, sage along
>>17533623
People thought (maybe still) Jesus Christ was a demon. Idk how you make friends when he's running around all the place though.
Demons are malignant in nature, look deeper
>>17533644
kek
>>17533623
calling them demons isn't a good first step
>>17533623
Go to a Mosque. Jummah is today so you have plenty of time to find one and get there. It's demon central.
>>17533735
Angels are ugly winged pussys. Id much rather be friends with a demonic monster.
>>17534102
Demons are just fallen angels buddy
>>17533644
I agree with the faggot part
>>17533644
>being a freudian
>MMXXVI
Ich hoffe dass Sie dies nicht tun
>>17533623
Make business with him. Make deals, for example he harm someone or send your or someone disease to some bastard and he get reward from you at crossroads. Surely a lot of recipes around. You can do attempt do conversation with him if it possible, not sure about this, this is not traditional, maybe Ouija or maybe temporal demoniac possession. In mine Eurasian area a lot of people are making business with imps, demons, devils and other sorts of creatures. In old times people here often do deals with saints and angels, feed them with offering, slaughter chicken or lamb for them, but now only tradition of offers to demons survive.
Succubus-Chan here, telling you to have sex with it.
>>17533623
By giving him a lot of energy through fear, lust, or anger. Impossible otherwise.
Step one: be extremely lonely and awkward
Step two: a voice starts whispering in your ear
Step 3: listen to the voice (unless it tells you to kill stuff, then it's just madness, and not a real demon)
Step 5: let him have control of your actions once in a while
Step six6six: become super popular and an amazing athlete using the demons aid
Step 7: become a master of the occult
Step 8: banish him and regain control of your life
Step nine: see as your life begins to change for the worse
Step 10: become depressed
Step 11 (optional) suicide
>>17533623
First, you would have to go some other universe or reality where demons exist.
>>17534709
or hungry of money, or hungry of influence, or hungry of demonic power, etc....
>>17534742
>other universe or reality
Damn you dude, you still don't have offer of tickets to Moon trip and you speaking about whole UNIVERSE and REALITY. Certainly you never was even in a neighboring country.
>>17533640
No demon enjoys filth and dirtiness? I mean what if some demon likes a natural scent. It just seems to arbitrary, I suppose it is nice to be clean for guests. But these are humans.
>>17534761
*It just seems (so) arbitrary.
>>17534761
> demon enjoys filth
Here is not guarantee, but some where might be a demon of filth or even a demon of overdue beer. World is full of variety.
>>17533623
Give it my soul.
>>17533623
死んで!
>>17534779
Hm..
Life is certainly full of variety, especially when one seeks it. If the internet has a bazillion little niche safespaces, and little fetish communities, who is to say the same cannot be true of demons? Or are they all so loathsome of humankind that they have no need or want to understand our depravity? It just makes little sense to me, are demons much like society that bows to a bureaucratic hierarchy of respect and so none too quickly would bow to depravity as it is such a base want? Or are they just completely separate entities all together, only interacting when they have to, but sticking to their own machinations and worlds?
I'm quite dumb so I ask dumb questions a lot so pardon me being an idiot.
If anyone is actually serious about this, remember that demons view humans as cattle. If not that, be sure that they'll want to possess and exploit you either way. It is their nature. Whatever you want from them comes at a price. What they feed on is pain and suffering. Remember that.
>>17534854
Then they should already be fat and happy the way the world is, don't you think? With all of the pain and suffering abound, why bother making deals at all? You can practically feel it in the air!
>>17534862
Why would a heartless parasite who feeds on suffering ever want to restrain itself? There's always more. That's why there's a reptilian agenda (if that's your thing) which has been going on for millennia and is always making things worse for humanity. Otherwise why bother with all those schemes at all? Do you know how big ticks can get?
>>17534901
Krešo, odi spavat.
>>17534918
sprechen nicht slavic
>>17534901
We are the parasites. Most "Demons" in judeochristianity are suspected to be above the choir of angels. To them, we would probably seem like God's comic book about planet lice/pimples.
>>17535043
There are levels of angelic beings at least by Catholicism. I don't know why they tier them, given that Michael was only an archangel and Sataniel was a motherfucking Seraph.
This religious shite is destroying the planet. Worship pagan deities if you feel like being friends with a demon. You can't contact what doesn't exist.
>>17535043
every hierarchy of higher beings has a concomitant legion of fallen beings. where there is light, there is shadow.
>>17533623
WHY
Don't. They seek only to harm you. They aren't our friends.. they aren't even human, nor were they ever. They are monsters that seek to cause pain and distress.
OP, don't do anything you'll regret. Stay safe.
>>17533623
>Hey /x/ how do I do a really dumb thing that will probably kill me???
>>17535072
What do you mean by 'religious?' Are you referring to all the people talking about Lucifer and the other fairy tales?
Also, there's nothing wrong with pagan deities. Why do you regard them as demons?
>>17535314
Some from demons was, in modern words, angels, or lesser names of god, in few religious cults. Now that religious cults seems dead, now little prayers to them. Human thoughts about them at major part now is bad, and their representation in mass mind at major part is bad too.But when at court is war, nation want kill enemies. So even angels should fight in that case. So when demon kill enemies, that is good action too. Why angel with bloody sword is good, but demon with bloody sword bad?
Just politics. Suzerain, vassals, etc.
>>17534503
What is a good offering that I can obtain
No dead bodies or sacrifices
You don't
>>17535338
I do not care for Christianity or its beliefs.
>>17535353
Often booze, fresh liver of cattle, odd count of coins drop them from left shoulder with word "Paid".
>>17533623
...Buy it a beer?
>>17535379
Is that depending at theirs personal tastes?
>>17535379
It seems not for friendship, that just for business.
>>17535400
All people have personal tastes, even saints. So even demons have personal tastes. Obviously is.
>>17534918
hahahahahah, laku noc
>>17534503
How can I get a favor from a demon without losing my soul? What does losing your soul even mean?
>>17533623
You send a donation to their campaign.
how do i befriend a person
>>17534779
Oh man... If I could get my hands on a mudslut succubus
>>17534779
Demon of illicit drugs? If yes, teach me to summon.
>>17535314
Dude, humans weren't and aren't humans either if they tap into universal consciousness through words. They aren't your friend if they have something to gain from betraying you. Demons that you are naturally alligned with are more likely to be helpful. The best thing you can ever ask from a demon, is to recieve knowledge of natural sciences/philospohy.
>>17535503
Losing your soul means losing track of why you are here, it isn't literal, it's just losing the comfy padding of your shoe. Sometimes you aren't allowed to do what you want, or you don't know how, or don't have the resources, In this case demons help.
>>17536577
No drugs were illicit in the days of demons. No drugs were forbidden, many were secret but not ever illegal. There's surely a peruvian god of coca, just like theres an ancient chinese weed goddess (Ma-gu).
>>17534761
Clean places have less junk, it makes less lag for them to project. You get clearer messages from demons in clean places. It's the only reason why we have a concept of cleanliness at all. We are scientifically proven healthier if we live in dirt. Life likes dirt. But Gods and ideas and demons ALWAYS prefer void. It's why they are void stuff and can do all these things whilst we spend most of our time eating/sleeping etc.
>>17536286
It's easy, just talk to someone.
Although, there's a high chance you will loose your faith in humanity.
>>17533623
You can't you dumb fuck
>>17533669
underrated
>>17533623
Don't make friends with God's enemies, it's beyond stupid.
make cool music he likes and try to be friends with the other people making cool music he likes
>>17533746
This guy's name is Darryl Dawson.
>>17533623
friend is a relative term, I'm assuming you want a give/take relationship but you won't get it. 'demons' are dedicated to serving themselves, however are more often than not minions.
I dunno I have a wonderful relationship with my demon friends. My mirror summoning from Cheswick worked well.
>>17538522
how would you describe this relationship? I doubt you go about attempting control. Instead you offer something?
God, demons and angels don't exist. Isn't spring break suppose to be over, why is there so much shit posting going on?
>>17538597
either prove it or don't make the claim, unless we're talking about personal beliefs then I'm more than willing to accept you're beliefs for whatever reasoning you can provide ;)
>>17538607
I don't have to prove anything because it's common sense, but alas this is /x/, the place full of roleplayers and people who actually take this nonsense for granted.
>>17538625
pretty much a cookie cutter response, a little insult to /x/ for good measure. 4/10
>>17538648
>Pic is you
>you will never have a picnic with a qt on Olympus Mons
>>17534603
>bulge in g-string
Sure thing trapubus
>>17533623
why do people have this kind of interest in the occult...?
I mean if you know demons exist, wouldn't you rather want to meet God or go to Heaven?
>>17538731
Depending on which religion you're reading, they will call the same entity good or evil i.e. we have the good guys and you have the bad ones. Semites say Yahweh good, Shiva bad. Hindu say Shiva good, Yahweh bad.
>>17538777
Cultural rivalry will disintegrate (and therefore religious rivalries) as inter-connectivity becomes more widespread. The wars and what's essentially propaganda will then start to fade away. That's my hope anyway, might take longer than I have on this planet.
>>17538805
So basically you advocate white genocide.
>>17538805
>this delusion
AIs gonna kill us before your fuccboi hippie world peace ever happens.
>>17538832
uhhhhhh, no.
>>17538859
It already has happened before AI was ready. Everyone knows about God now, everybody knows enough about other religions that they can see the biggest picture.
World peace is the reason why the Goddess incarnated in plant form and is burned for everyone's benefit.
>>17538859
HAH we do a good enough job of killing ourselves
>>17538868
What do non-whites have to offer whites?
Nothing.
>>17533623
Go to your local Synagogue.
>>17534102
hurr durr i liek deemuns caus their edjier and preddier thin angles
bruh. Theyre one and the same. Different life choices.
>>17537162
Who gave you this misinformation? "Demons" "helpful" they are monsters that WILL hurt you if they get the chance
>>17538893
their service, all anyone ever has to offer
>>17539225
Menial labour, you mean. No innovation. Blacks never invented written language, agriculture, sanitation, philosophy, anything on their own.
I only have respect for orientals, but even they were dragged kicking and screaming into modernity. At least they're fairly peaceful and orderly like the muds of earth.
Whites invented everything good and complex in modern civ. There's a reason why everyone wants what we have, yet have failed to create it for themselves.
In case you didn't know, our history has gone thus:
>whites move into wilderness
>create civilisation
>allow muds to participate
>muds breed out of control
>genocide whites
>civilisation fails
>>17536286
/thread
>>17533623
You could start by not calling them "demons", you insensitive fuck. They are just entities, like anything else. It's those fear mongering and power hungry monotheistic beliefs that have spread the lies that anything they don't agree with is "evil", "demons", and "of the devil".
Can't expect to befriend a black guy when you keep referring to them as niggers.
>How could OP go about being a faggot this evening?
>>17539507
But niggers have historically and statistically proven themselves to be dumb, lazy, criminal niggers by everyone who contacted them. Huge difference.
>>17538875
>the Goddess incarnated in plant form and is burned for everyone's benefit.
what if pot gives me anxiety :(
>>17539710
Pot gives many people anxiety, paranoia, and psychosis. Also triggers latent psychological problems like bipolar and psychosis.
weed lmao faggots can go fuck themselves, it's a drug like any other and not a panacea nor the key to eternal life
>>17539742
No, it's a collection of many drugs, thus why it happens to cure many problems.
You know, like how drugs happen to cure things.
>>17540253
Do you know what a panacea is? Weed is promoted to cure cancer, HIV, and all sorts of shit. It has its benefits, it's amazing for pain mgmt, but it can't fix everything and makes certain things even worse.
>>17533623
Umm you don't.
>>17534459
>MMXXVI
>2026
please die
>>17539342
>In case you didn't know, our history
Oh the irony!
"White society" wasn't the first to become "civilized" and the chinese had writing long before the Europeans did.
It's a collective thing really, and when the white europeans were going through their dark ages the only civilizations making progress were the arab nations.
The thing is rather more complicated than how your fucking /pol/ propaganda lays it out to be and wars and imperialism has layed much of the groundwork for how the world looks today.
So please anon, stop smothering everybody with oversimplified views of how the world works, stop being a petulant child who takes credit and pride in other peoples work, and go create something yourself you delusional twat.
>>17533623
Are u ok?
>>17540309
Explain the white mummies in China.
>>17540999
>Obviously they imported whites to do their thinking
You're a fucking idiot.
Explain the link?
Did whites teach the the mesapotamiens to write too? The people who lived in Mexico?
>>17541197
avoiding the question
Here's another: why are sunwheels found across the world?
>>17541217
No, explain the link you fucking retard! That there were white mummies in a part of China doesen't prove your point, you gigantic fucking moron.
And the other questions were there to prove how fucking stupid your point was. Besides, wouldn't it be a little idiotic to go around teaching everybody else a technology and then not use it yourself... Wow, that i think about it, i can actually see how you'd see yourself as part of such a race, you fucking cretin.
And i don't know what the fuck you are on about with the sunwheels, but i bet it is something pretty stupid, with either shit tier evidence or something that you coated to the point that it fitted your ideology.
You sound mad. Why?
>>17541312
Nope, not a jew.
The reason i sound mad is because you and your fear are predominantly what's keeping humanity down. You are the lowest common denominator, the most easily controlled, the ones with the stupidest reaoning making you uncapable of forming any thought that bares value.
>>17541358
k
Reddit is that way >>>
>>17541358
I can hear your heart disease from across the Atlantic.
>>17541362
Oh geez anon. Did you ever even have any ammunition to begin with? Been on Reddit once to call someone out on their bullshit and i've been here since 07.
But it's alright anon, you can stay for all i care. And maybe i'll even call you out on your bullshit next time too, even though i know that it'll probably never enter that thick skull of yours. But that's alright, because it is never really about you, it is about the audience.
>>17541378
Not American either. I can hear you crying pretty loudly though. Mmm, give me those fascist tears!
>>17541412
(he's really mad)
>>17540999
>Explain the white mummies in China.
Long time ago, in one of ancient Kingdoms in area of modern China lived folk of Caucasian race which had superstition that keep corpses of famous men from ancestors in mummies state good for their souls and for spiritual help from them to alive offspring.
>>17534086
dis
>>17540309
Love it when /pol/cucks are forced to meet reality.
>>17533623
Demon's are not your friend. It's a one sided relationship where it'll give you certain abilities that won't amount to nothing but a freakshow, at the cost of eternal damnation.
They aren't your friend, if OP is being serious and not a le /x/ post xD
Can we get back on topic, you raging faggots? This is /x/, not /pol/.
>>17538597
>>17538625
>>17538669
>>17541609
>1421533773934-1.png
>-1
Go back to 8gag.
>>17541613
>>17541628
How sad. Now that your reddit site has died, you came running back. Scum.
>>17541648
and there's not a goddamn thing you can do to make me leave either! stay mad kiddo
>>17540264
>panacea
Plural for penis?
Cerveza :v beer
>>17538690
>demons have only one set of genitalia.
>Manifestation of unspent emotions from the collective unconscious
So I take it you haven't actually seen thought life before
You don't. Demons aren't real. You could try to become schizophrenic and make friends with the voices you hear.
You don't. Demons aren't real, silly.
>>17542498
>>17542510
One of us One of us
Torture animals
