I live in a historic part of an old southern town and a couple from New York just moved in across the street. It's a beautiful old city, but life is pretty dull at times, so for the sake of my boredom and their's, I want to add some spice to our lives by pretending to be a vampire. What are some subtle things I can do to really have an effective delivery?
Things I'm already doing
>only let them see me at night
>keep curtains facing their house closed during the day
>dress formally
What else can I do to perfect the identity? I haven't spoken to either of them yet, but I know they watch me leave my house and walk the streets at night.
>I live in a historic part of an old southern town and a couple from New York
You live INSIDE two people from New York as well as an entire section of a city?!?
>>17335673
Blast Lincoln Parks Crawling 24 hours a day while cutting yourself
>>17335679
Just because this guy never heard of a comma doesn't mean he cut open his neighbors and takes naps inside them.
>>17335679
stay in school.
>>17335703
>Just because this guy never heard of a comma doesn't mean he cut open his neighbors and takes naps inside them.
There's an unneeded comma splice joke in there somewhere.
Use tape and pillows or whatever inside a trashbag so it looks like you're dragging bodies
>>17335673
Invite them over to meet your creepy relatives that live with you, go rent some actors if you live alone. >pic relative
Have strange sounds in the basement but dismiss them as you dog or something when they enquire. Serve some weird dish for dinner that a vampire would think a human would enjoy. Something slathered in red sauce and meaty but some weird old european dish.
Let them see you bring women in. Women that never leave and are never seen again. (Not advocating murder) have them exit through a tunnel you dig in the basement into the sewers.
>>17335757
>cant we just watch a movie and cuddle anon?
>No. Into the sewers with you. Into the tunnel you go.
*pokes in back with stick*
>>17335673
You realize they're just going to think you're some kind of cannibal murderer and call the cops, right?
The only way you could convince someone you were something like a vampire is to outright do things that cannot be attributed to human behavior or ability. I'm talking climbing and walking on walls and ceilings, appearing and disappearing without a trace or leaving animals in your place. You know, the impossible. Which pretty much sums up what this is for you.
Cut your losses and go introduce yourself normally so you can sleep with the wife.
>>17335673
Make sure you never enter their house without being invited in first.
>>17337122
you cant be thief class
>>17335673
Romance teens and suggest you can give them a cursed gift
>>17335673
Mayhaps get this book.
http://www.amazon.com/Piercing-Darkness-Undercover-Vampires-America/dp/0061059455
Amazon has it (used) for $4 (one cent plus $3.99 USA shipping).
